Squall's Dark Ambition

I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

I will cry for you

I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear

I will pray for you

I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I'm talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me

Violate all the love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be part of you
Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you

#1 Crush – Garbage

Cloud’s eyes widened as he focused on the object hanging loosely on the chain around Squall’s neck. He felt his stomach rise in his throat as he became captivated by the dangling object. In Cloud’s eyes the object glistened menacingly against the bright light of the sun. His lips parted slightly as if to say something but quickly snapped his jaw shut. He was being paranoid; just paranoid. Come on Cloud; it’s a silver necklace. Silver makes for popular jewelry you’re getting carried away…

Squall blinked in confusion, “Cloud? Is… something wrong?”

Cloud shook himself out of his stupor, “N-no nothing; just zoned out for a second there.”

Squall only grinned slightly, “Out of the both of us I’d thought I’d be the one zoning out.”

Cloud tilted his head in question and Squall only let out a low chuckle motioning to Cloud’s sprawled out form, “You make for a ‘very’ distracting view…”

Cloud blushed ducking his head; bangs flopping over his face, “You’re one to talk….”

Squall felt his heart beat tightly against his rips so hard he thought it would pound right out of his chest; My angel… his eyes graced me as mine him.. Cloud only blush a darker hue of crimson as he squirmed a little under Squall’s eyes; he didn’t mean to let it slip but Squall ‘was’ very attractive. All earlier worries over the silver pendant left his mind; it was a brief moment of paranoia and he wasn’t going to let it ruin his time. Especially not when a very well toned; handsome man who seemed to adore him was standing above him half naked at the beach. He couldn’t help but take in his body again; he couldn’t help comparing much to his dismay. He found himself analyzing every curve and toned muscle to Zack’s body. How the muscles surrounding his abdomen weren’t nearly as long and lean; Squall was shorter making for a more tightly compact physique. Squall’s skin didn’t carry the sun-kissed glow his former lover had; he was maybe only a few shades darker than Cloud’s pale skin tone.

Squall knelt down in front of Cloud as Cloud’s eyes trailed up till his eyes met Squall’s. Cloud’s lips left slightly parted as he searched in Squall’s eyes; the deep gray tone overshadowed the underlining blue around his pupils. Cloud felt a small sigh echo in his heart; they weren’t as vibrant as Zack’s brilliant blue glowing orbs. They didn’t hold the same playful nature that danced in Zack’s eye; while Squall’s still held a close admiration that Zack looked upon with Cloud there was something else hidden behind his gray orbs. Cloud wished to slap himself for the thought but he swore he saw something dark and sinister in the boy’s eyes. Squall was being so kind to him and all he could do to repay him was doubt his intentions? Sure he was hurt by Zack but the emotion roller coaster shouldn’t be affecting those around him as well; especially not those trying to help. So; why… this persistent feeling?

He felt a pair of warm palms cup the sides of his chin; finger tips brushing lightly against his neck. Cloud watched as Squall inched his face closer to his own; Squall speaking in a soft and husky voice, “Is this… alright..?”

Cloud felt his eye lids flutter as Squall’s hot breath tickled his lips; they were no more than an inch away from each other’s lips. Cloud fought between wanting to push the boy away and allowing their lips connect. Squall nearly groaned as the smell of Cloud wafted toward him on the sea’s breeze. He could smell Cloud’s tea tree mint scented hair and the aroma of Cloud’s personal scent. He let his eyes wander to Cloud’s hair noting the difference the sun made while beating down on the pale strands. It made them look paler and more vibrant. His eyes finally caught back to Cloud’s; Squall bit his lip. Even with the ocean as a back drop the blue orbs held more power in them than any ocean swell; more beautiful than any vast and endless sea. He grew eager as Cloud leaned forward a little; not quite closing the gap but not refusing the other to. Encouraged Squall pressed his lips against Cloud’s allowing one of his hands drift away from the soft pale chin and run along the side of his neck to the back. He allowed his fingers to brush up through Cloud’s hair as he pushed Cloud’s lips into his with a little bit more of a demand. Cloud melted into the kiss running his hand up Squall’s bare side; he could feel the reaction his touch caused against his fingers. Small goose bumps raised on Squall’s skin as his fingers trailed softly up his side and around to his chest. Cloud’s fingers traced the male’s strong pectorals and flinched as his finger tips bumped into the silver pendent. Cloud groaned with a bit of aggravation in his mind at the reaction to touching such a simple object; why was he being so paranoid?

He slowly broke the kiss and he swore he almost saw Squall pout; it was a rare facial and honestly it made him chuckle at the cute expression. Squall’s fingers trailed over his own lips as the corner of his lips barely formed into a blissful smile. Cloud turned himself around gathering Squall’s arms and wrapping himself tightly in the limbs. Squall contently surrounded his angel with his embrace as the boy pressed his bare back against his naked chest. It reminded Squall of how he pulled Cloud to his chest in the shower; Squall quickly squashed the image. It was not the time or place to be thinking of such things; they were very much in the eyes of the public and the last thing he needed to do was race for the cool ocean waters hoping nobody would see what would soon be poking from his trunks.

Cloud sighed softly leaning back into Squall as he stared out into the ocean. Zack and Cloud used to sit the exact same way as they watched the sun set; cheesy Cloud mused; but it was one of those rare perfect moments you wouldn’t trade for the world. He remembered Zack would hold him not to differently from how Squall was holding him now; the body felt odd against his not bad just not exactly right. Would he ever obtain that feeling again? Even as Squall leaned forward and rested his chin on Cloud’s shoulder burying his nose behind Cloud’s ear where his hairline began Cloud couldn’t help but think of how different it held felt when Zack was the one nuzzling his hair. The metal of Squall’s necklace felt cold against his skin; a reminder of his uneasy paranoia. He wanted to grab the damned thing and chuck it in the ocean; anything to keep from shifting to his doubtful thoughts once again. Maybe… I should… keep an eye out; just in case… Cloud almost nodded at his own thoughts; surely after he proved he was being ridiculous to himself and Squall was just a different ‘type’ of person he was used to all his paranoid thoughts about the other would diminish. He was just being paranoid and he would prove it to himself how ridiculous he was being.

After their day at the beach Cloud dropped Squall off at his own apartment; he needed time to think and sort things out. He told Squall that he would call the following day and that he would be busy tomorrow with deliveries; Tifa no doubt was probably backed up. Cloud had been neglecting his work lately and the only reason he was getting away with it was because of the pity Tifa felt for Cloud. Soon after arriving to his own apartment Cloud dug through the trash cans searching for the discarded pictures. Pulling out a pile of milk and blood soaked photos he found the one photo in question. Cloud frowned as he stared at the photo trying to focus on the necklace in the picture. He grunted in aggravation; the picture was blurry and the necklace was near impossible to completely make out. It held a similar shape to Squall’s but there was just no way to be completely positive that it was the same one.

Cloud cursed lowly under his breath before disregarding the photo back into the trash can. He ran a hand through his hair; Am I over reacting… He pulled his hand from his hair and brought his hand quickly in front of his eyes before his face twisted. “ I need a shower…,” Cloud muttered as he realized that he just brushed his hair back with a filthy garbage coated hand. Cloud wondered what he would found out tomorrow.. Sure he told Squall he’d be working; told him Tifa would probably be whining about his absence from work. Honestly she just might have been but he had no intention of going into work; he needed to confirm that his suspicious were just his ridiculous delusions. Even if it meant he would be ‘stalking’ Squall; although he hardly considered it stalking for he was only trying to either confirm or dismiss his suspicions; that’s different right?

Cloud shook his head; Ok so maybe he was just a little screwed up in the head at the moment and it was technically stalking… technically! But it was all for good reason; he just prayed whatever he discovered wouldn’t confirm the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.