Parallax

A/n: Happy October! Again, I wanted to thank everyone for reading and appreciate the support that people have given to my work, whether it be hits, anonymous reviews, or signed reviews. It makes me smile.


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Shepard was vodka.

At least, that was the first thing she told herself when she woke up.

The Commander willed her eyes to open. Sparks danced across her vision as the room spun uncontrollably. Nausea quickly set in; Shepard stumbled out of the bed as fast as possible to run to the bathroom and retch into the toilet.

What happened last night?

She leaned her head on the toilet seat, the cool surface soothing the heat on her sweaty forehead. Slowly, pieces of what happened the previous night came back to her. She talked with Qui’in and had a lot of champagne. She went back to the hotel room and she and Kaidan…

Oh God.

Did they have sex?

Shepard closed her eyes as a hangover headache of massive proportions set in. Through the pain, she tried to remember all of what happened. They kissed. She sat in his lap. But, all of her clothes were still intact. The Commander winced as her headache intensified.

She leaned back against the wall, something small poking her in the back. Shepard closed her eyes and reached behind her to feel what caused her discomfort. It was a hook from her bra. The article of clothing remained on her body with a lone hook; vaguely, Shepard remembered her Lieutenant’s hands fumbling at the clasp in the dark. Shepard rehooked the bra.

Kaidan medicated his migraine with copious amounts of vodka. He must have been completely trashed with how much he drank; Shepard remembered how he collapsed on top of her body without making further attempt to proceed with undressing her. There was no way that her wasted Lieutenant was in control of his actions the previous night. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even remember what happened when he woke up. So where did that put her?

Shepard closed her eyes and bowed her head in shame. She had almost taken advantage of her drunk Lieutenant. For her to do such a thing to him reminded her of her past too much.

Shepard wasn’t that woman anymore.

The ashamed Commander slunk back to the bed, her weight pressing onto the mattress. It was enough to rouse the bed’s other occupant. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned.

“Your turn,” Shepard mumbled and laid back down on the bed.

Kaidan blinked a few times then bolted for the bathroom. In the meantime, Shepard rolled over to face the nightstand. She eyed the former bucket of ice and absently wondered if it wouldn’t be too disgusting to drink the water in it. Getting up to get water was out of the question. Curious, the Commander reached over to open the door on the nightstand. A lazy smile stretched across her face; the nightstand was a fridge. There were bottles of water in it.

She grabbed two bottles and placed them on the tabletop as she felt the bed shift with the added weight of her Lieutenant. Shepard brought out her omnitool and began to type a message to notify the crew for their time of departure.

“You think we can leave in six hours?” she asked.

His response was an affirmative grunt.

“Okay,” Shepard murmured, “I’ll set an alarm for five hours from now for us.” She sent off the message. The crew would have ample time to prepare for departure. Her omnitool fell to the floor as she grabbed a bottle of water and curled herself into a fetal position. Chills wracked through her body, causing her to shiver.

Kaidan rolled over on his side and scooted his body to a position where he could curl it around Shepard’s smaller frame. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her torso and pressed himself flush against her. The Lieutenant began to rub her arms when her shivers turned into shaking. He buried his face in her hair and thought about last night.

Did she remember what happened?

No, if she had remembered, she would have said something or made some kind of indication that they almost had sex. God only knew how much she had to drink before she reached the room. Kaidan snuggled closer to her, ashamed at what he almost did. Shepard didn’t deserve him drunkenly slobbering all over her.

“I don’t think that I drank water before I went to sleep,” Shepard interrupted the Lieutenant’s thoughts, the sound of her teeth chattering together accenting her speech.


Kaidan knew she didn’t have any water before she slept; he had her pinned down with his body when they fell asleep. Her legs had been wrapped tightly around his hips. The thought set his thoughts on fire. He continued to rub Shepard’s arms in an attempt to warm her.

“So, why did you save the council?” Kaidan asked, hoping to distract himself from the idea that they were spooning. He knew that Shepard resented the council and believed that they were holding humanity back.

“Because I wanted them to owe me a favor,” she replied, “because I wanted them to feel bad about how they’ve treated us. I wanted to be able to throw it in their faces if they ever again questioned me. You couldn’t do that with a new council. No, this time I am the one in control.”

The Lieutenant froze. Shepard’s reasoning was horrifying, yet sound.

“So, you want to tell the council what to do,” he murmured, “Wouldn’t that make you a dictator of sorts?”

“Not really,” Shepard snuggled closer to her Lieutenant, “I just want to get my shit done without them impeding my progress.”

Kaidan stifled a groan as she unwittingly pressed her rear into his crotch.

“Yeah, they were getting rather frustrating,” he ground out through clenched teeth.

“Mhm,” she nodded slightly then closed her eyes.

Kaidan drew he covers up about them and closed his eyes. They had five hours to sleep this hangover off.


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A series of melodic beeps roused the Commander from her sleep. She reached down and turned off the alarm on her omnitool. It was time to get moving, though Shepard was loathed to do so; Kaidan was so warm and snuggly.

“I don’t want to get up,” she mumbled and buried the side of her face into the pillow.

Her Lieutenant grunted in response. Sometime during the course of their sleep, his hand had drifted down to hold her hip. His sleepy mind ran in hazy circles as his subconscious whispered thoughts to him. Their bodies were so close. He could have her. All he needed to do was slip both of their pants down then...

Kaidan’s eyes shot open as he quickly bolted upright. He mentally berated himself for his less than honorable thoughts.

Shepard sighed at the sudden blast of cold air at her back. Begrudgingly, she sat up, having found the incentive to get ready for departure.

“I get the shower first,” she said as she sat up and gathered her things. Shepard retreated to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Her clothes clung to her body as she tried to remove them; the drunken night’s sweat permeated the normally breathable material.

The sooner Shepard got clean, the better she would feel.

She turned the water on and stuck her foot under the spray to test the temperature. After a short moment, it was to her preference. The Commander stepped in, closed the curtain, and began to wash herself. Her scalp felt disgustingly greasy.

A knock sounded at the door.

“Yeah?” the Commander shouted above the sound of the shower.

“Can I go pee?” Kaidan asked through the door.

“Sure,” Shepard replied and barely suppressed a giggle. The battle hardened marine had just sounded like a little kid. It was too cute.

She heard the door close and her mind traveled to the gutter. Shepard put her soap down and crept over to the curtain’s edge. The devil inside her wanted to sneak a peek at her Lieutenant’s hardware. A peek couldn’t hurt, could it?

Kaidan was glad Shepard let him in; his bladder was about to explode. He heard the sounds of her showering. She was very much naked behind that curtain and he was very much curious. Maybe he could take a peek at her. The Lieutenant leaned over from his stance at the toilet and put his hand on the curtain. Was he really going to do this? Ever so carefully he drew the curtain back, hoping that Shepard wouldn’t notice.

Their shocked gazes met, their faces mere inches apart.

“What are you doing?” Shepard questioned.

“What are you doing?” Kaidan countered.

“Peeking…” Shepard blushed and trailed off, “but what are you doing?”

“Peeking…” he answered, completely embarrassed.

“Oh,” Shepard replied and shut the curtain. She continued to shower.

“Permission to act like this isn’t a big deal?” Kaidan asked as he flushed the toilet.

“Granted,” the Commander said. After that, she heard him leave the bathroom. So, they were trying to peek at each other. Shepard laughed outright at the hilariousness of it all. Her laugh cut off when she realized that getting caught trying to peek at her Lieutenant’s shotgun made her forget to peek. Shepard sighed; perhaps this was for the best. She didn’t need to see more of his body than she had seen last night.

But, there was a difference between need and want; Shepard felt the latter.


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Forty minutes later found the duo ready to depart for the Normandy. Shepard glanced over at the table and noticed two wrapped boxes on it. How long had those been there?

She grabbed one of the boxes and opened it; pralines were inside. The Commander chuckled and put it in her bag to save for another day. She eyed the other box, knowing what must be in it.

Casually, Kaidan grabbed the wrapped box of condoms and put it in his bag.

“You know, those are going to be huge,” she quirked her brow.

“I’m aware of that,” he said as he finished tying his bag shut, “Why are you telling me this? I thought you peeked.”

“I was too startled to remember to peek,” Shepard replied.

“Actually, I was too,” Kaidan chuckled and looked away, his face turning red.

If Shepard hadn’t known her Lieutenant better, she would have called bullshit on his large claim. Instead, she linked arms with him and made her way down to the hotel lobby to check out. Perhaps another time she would get a chance to fulfill her desire to peek.

The lobby doors opened automatically and Shepard caught sight of the girl that had checked them in the previous day. They exchanged a smile as the Commander checked out. She made sure to give the girl a generous tip.

“I don’t care if you’re allowed to accept these or not,” Shepard looked the girl straight in the eye, “you deserve it for putting up with my shenanigans.”

The young woman’s eyes got huge as she looked at the large tip the Spectre offered her. Slowly she shook her head.

“Let me guess, you have a ‘refuse three times then accept the tip’ policy, don’t you?” the Commander asked, her expression going soft.

The girl nodded hesitantly.

“Okay,” Shepard nodded, “just take it then. We don’t have to play the polite refusal game. Have a spa day or something. Take your friends shopping. I don’t know.” She smiled at the teen.

“Thank you so much, ma’am,” the girl replied quietly.

“Take care,” Shepard nodded then turned to leave, her Lieutenant in tow.

The young girl at the hotel watched the couple leave. Commander Shepard was nothing like the vids portrayed. She was edgy yet relaxed. She was very kind as well. The teen watched the Commander smile up at the man on her arm and sighed. Truly, it was a fairytale of its own right; Shepard had a tall, dark and handsome man to stay by her side through her perilous journeys and to make passionate love to her while the nebulas illuminated the room. There was danger, excitement, romance and lust in everything they did. Undoubtedly, they were soul mates. The hotel girl sighed and got back to work. She really needed to stop reading romantic fiction.

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“What the fuck do you mean by ‘Murray isn’t up yet’?!” Shepard spat at the unfortunate marine in front of her.

“Ma’am, he was passed out when I left, ma’am!” he saluted as quickly as he could. This woman was terrifying.

“Look,” she sighed, “it’s not your fault. I can’t fucking kill the messenger. Dismissed.”

The scared man saluted and ran off to a dark corner of the ship. Murray was so dead when he got back. He almost felt sorry for the guy.

Shepard leaned against the inner doorframe of the airlock, her arms crossed as she waited for Corporal Murray to enter the ship.

He was over an hour late.

Kaidan stood next to Shepard, adopting the same agitated posture as the Commander.

Five minutes later found Shepard still glaring at the airlock. Her stance didn’t change as she heard the decon scan begin. The door opened to reveal Murray, his appearance disheveled and dirty. His face was covered in small, red blotches and his hair clung to his sweaty brow in greasy clumps.

Shepard’s eyes landed on him, her body posture unchanged.

“You caught me at a really fucking bad time,” she said, her tone flat, “I’m pmsing, have a hangover, and I’m sexually frustrated.”

Murray stopped and saluted as best he could under the circumstances. He glanced over at Lieutenant Alenko. The man wore a scowl almost as fearsome as the one Commander Shepard wore.

“I want to know something. Did you not get my message?” Shepard hissed. “No, wait, I can answer that question. You fucking did. You look like you’ve got a hangover Murray. Care to tell me about it?”

“Ma’am, I…” he coughed, his voice unwilling to work properly after hours of being ill.

“I’ve heard all I need to hear,” the Commander interrupted, “There’s absolutely no excuse. I was fucking shitfaced last night but I got my ass back to work. The message was sent about six hours ago!”

“Seven, actually,” Kaidan interjected.

“Seven!” Shepard’s ire increased at this revelation. “Seven goddamn fucking hours! Seven!”

“Seven,” the Lieutenant repeated, his gaze narrowing on Murray.

The Corporal’s face looked ashen as if he was going to be ill.

“So help me, sweet Jesus, if you throw up on my deck, you’ll be licking it clean,” she spat, “For God’s sake, you had five or so hours to sleep it off! I don’t want to know how much you had to have had to not only ignore my message, but to not make yourself halfway presentable to leave on time. Honestly, I’m really fucking astounded.”

“Care to add anything else?” Shepard turned to look at her Lieutenant, seeking his input.

“I’m not mad as much as I’m disappointed,” he uncrossed his arms and frowned, “this is a highly-sought posting. I’m bewildered as to why anyone would want to screw things up this early on. That message was sent seven hours ago.”

Shepard nodded.

“How old are you, Murray?” she asked.

“Ma’am, eighteen, ma’am,” he replied, his expression that of fear.

“I used to pull stupid shit like this before I joined the Alliance,” Shepard sighed, “I don’t know what to do with you. Part of me wants to keep you around to light a fire under your ass, and another part of me wants to turn your life into all sorts of hell.”

“Whatever the case turns out to be, I’m not going to burden Administrator Qui’in with your presence, so you’ll be leaving with us,” her expression grew stern again, “in the meantime, if you so much as blink wrongly, I will come after you and beat the ever living fuck out of you. Now get your pitiful ass out of my sight before I decide to fuck it up with my boot.”

“Aye aye, ma’am!” Murray saluted and left as quickly as possible.

Shepard turned to her Lieutenant and shook her head. In the normal, non-military world, Murray might be able to get away with a warning on something like this. But this was one of the most coveted posts in the entire galaxy. And who the hell got so hung over that they were late to their posting? Shepard now had to decide if she would cut Murray off at the knees or give him a second chance. She looked over at Kaidan; he would be able to help her with the decision. He would be fair and impartial. It was one of the qualities Shepard admired in Kaidan. She touched his arm gently and his expression softened.

“Come on,” she flashed him a weary smile, “join me in the Shep-lair. I’d like to discuss with you how I should handle this.”

Kaidan chuckled. Ever since Shepard became Commanding Officer of the Normandy, she called the captain’s quarters the ‘Shep-lair’. Somehow, Shepard managed to pepper humor into almost everything she said and did. It made frustrations much more bearable.

Sometimes, she was just too damn cute.

“Joker,” the Commander interrupted Kaidan’s thoughts, “set course for the Citadel. Let’s get the fuck out of the Whore’s Head Nebula.”

The Lieutenant cringed; at other times, Shepard could be extremely crude.

“Don’t you mean Horse Head?” Kaidan asked as the Commander dragged him down to her quarters.

“Whore’s Head,” Shepard replied and gave him a saucy look.

Damn did she want those pralines. A peek at her Lieutenant would be nice as well.