Philanthropy

Chapter seven's up, because I've spent this afternoon making homework AND writing this fic.
Otacon: Which has successfully exceeded the 30 pages border.
And I've written the last chapter with Gorillaz on. So it'd better be good...
Otacon: Oh, did you know this chapter is making me blush?
Already?
Otacon: It's that good.

***


Seven

We met up with Mei Ling. I’d never seen her before. At first I thought she was Japanese so I said ‘Konnichi wa’ cheerfully. I guess being an otaku is stronger than any other feeling. But she giggled and told me her nationality.
It was only then that I realized how hurt Snake was. He was having trouble walking and he was bleeding from his back again. I wanted to help him, but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t do anything at the moment. We got on board of a helicopter and Mei Ling flew us out of Moscow. I guess I slept through the flight until the first stop. Maybe I had post traumatic stress, almost like a real soldier.

Dave was asleep. I watched him where he was, in the small seat, and afraid to wake him up I touched his ear so softly I hoped he wouldn’t notice. And he didn’t.

I jumped out of the helicopter with Mei Ling to watch the thing from the outside. She got us some fuel and I helped her carry the stuff. The sun was down. It was probably past midnight.
‘So you’re helping Dave, too? What do you do?’
‘Watching from a distance and making codec calls.’
She smiled. ‘He told me you’re the best sidekick he’s ever had. I’ve been eager to meet you in person.’
‘Really?’
‘He told me you were very reliable.’
‘Well, I had no better place to go, really. But when I got to know him better, I guess I just didn’t want to leave anymore. I want to help you. You’re the good guys.’
‘No better place to go? You don’t have a girlfriend or something?’
‘No. What about you and Snake, then?’
‘Me? I’m too busy for that. And all men are idiots compared to Dave, anyway. And Dave… he has girlfriends in every town. He needs them. He needs to have contacts. You know that. But it’s not like… he gives a damn about them.’
I sighed.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘No, nothing. I was just wondering.’
‘Do you like him?’ She poked me.
‘What? Who? Dave?’
‘Who else, weirdo?’
‘Well…I don’t know.’
She giggled. ‘You’re blushing.’
‘I’m blushing all the time.’
‘Well, if you’ll ever get brave enough to tell the truth, I’ll tell you that he likes you a lot. He never actually said it, but I can guess.’
I made a weird face. This was turning in some sort of soap romance. And the weirdest thing about it was that I was in it. Dave was weird, too. The manliest of all men liking a nerdy guy. We were both weird. And apparently, we liked each other. That was sort of what I was thinking when I boarded the helicopter again, in the middle of the night. I spent the next few hours asleep on Dave’s shoulder, unintentionally. I didn’t want to, because it could hurt him or wake him up. But when I woke he was still sleeping peacefully.

We arrived in New York again. But in a different apartment this time. Mei Ling said she would take care of our stuff and the paperwork, and together we put Dave in bed. I noticed he was waking up from the kitchen, with the ‘Urgh’ sounds and all. I hoped he wasn’t hurt too badly. I made him a cup of coffee. I knew how he liked his coffee now: way too hot and way too strong for any human being except for him.
When I entered the room, he was sitting on the bed.
‘How long have I been sleeping?’
‘Whole night and half a day.’
‘Urgh.’
‘I made you coffee.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Are you in a lot of pain?’
‘Kind of.’
‘Can I do something?’
He smiled. ‘I hardly dare asking you. Will you massage my shoulders? After you’ve taken a look at my wounds, of course.’
‘I don’t really know how to do that.’
‘That’s not important.’
‘Oh…Okay then.’
He took off his shirt and I sat down behind him on the bed. Bruises were spread all over his body. I let my fingers slip over them softly, inspecting them. He drank his coffee, which was probably 60 degrees Celsius or something, and sighed when I started to do something that should feel like a massage. And after a few minutes I started to sense how his muscles relaxed when I was touching him somewhere.

‘You’re good.’
‘Thanks.’
‘I’m glad to be with you again.’
‘Oh?’
‘I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but you’re fun to be around.’
‘Nobody’s ever told me that.’
‘Well, consider yourself informed.’

He’s not fun to be around. Being around him is like ultimate confusion. One moment you fear for his life, the other you’re disappointed because he proved you wrong in strong words. And some moments you just can’t leave his side because you’ve come to love him so much.

I found myself with my arms around his waist and my head on his shoulder, glomping him like a fanboy. ‘Do you want more coffee?’
‘Mmm. I would like some more.’
‘I think…I think I’m in love with you.’
‘I love you too, Hal.’

‘Seriously?’
‘Of course I do. But we can’t be.’
‘Oh? Why not?’ Panic in my voice.
‘”In order to keep all concentration focused on your tasks, you can never be involved in a romantic relationship of any kind with one of your teammates.” It’s what everyone has told me all my life. I kept to it. And everything ended up okay.’
I didn’t believe him completely. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had turned around and held me close to him, and was stroking my cheek tenderly.
‘My sweet anime nerd.’
‘It’s called otaku!’
He pressed his lips to mine and kept them there a few seconds. The best seconds of my life, it seemed. I closed my eyes in a reflex, trying to keep the feeling of his lips in my memory forever.
‘Oh,’ he whispered. ‘I really shouldn’t have done that.’
I was afraid he would stop there, so I kissed him the same way he had kissed me. He held me closer. And that’s how I got my first tongue kiss. It felt so weird, so good. I could feel it for hours after it had happened. But I guess he was quite good at it, too. By the time he stopped kissing me, my heartbeat had doubled its speed. He was gasping. Strange to see him so helpless- because of me. I wanted to comfort him, so I brought him more coffee. He drank it in a few enormous gulps and was awake all of a sudden. But I had been up half the night, so I was slowly drowsing away. He offered me his bed.
‘Sleep tight, nerdie.’
‘Thank you, soldier.’
‘I love you. So much.’
‘I love you too.’
I smiled. I couldn’t believe I was actually saying him these words. I closed my eyes and drifted away in my dreams. The sensation of being hugged and kissed was still everywhere. I felt so comfortable I fell asleep within a minute. I didn’t want to give my doubts and confusion a single thought. I just wanted to dream.

***