The Sentimental Feelings
folder
+S through Z › Star Ocean 3
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
8,971
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+S through Z › Star Ocean 3
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
8,971
Reviews:
75
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Star Ocean 3, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Defiance
Author: Ciissi
Fandom: Star Ocean III: Till the End of Time
Pairing: Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean III. It belongs to Square Enix, may they do lots of more good games.
Warnings: Eventually NC-17. Contains yaoi meaning at least two boys having sex together but not in first few chapters. Possible child abuse but not in sexual manner. This chapter might contain spoilers about acquiring Albel as party member in Peterny and other PAs.
Author's Note 1: This time I am hopefully *not* counting the writing days... Sooooo uncool... *dies* Damn... This is going to be one hell of a looooooooong chapter... Still OOC Albel... I think. Too many flashbacks... I think. Hopefully this works...
Answers for Reviews: Ooooh... You are so supporting me to go on. I am speechless. Thank you very much. Hopefully this chapter gains your favor too.
To SuijiDL: I think that is just the way Albel and Fayt are. Things are painfully different to both of them and they are not quite ready to think what kind of changes are on the move. I used Maria because I like her and she is very analytic person. Even in the game I see relationship between Albel and Fayt chancing and I had to somehow bring fort that the changes are clearer for outsiders.
To Rho: You are giving me more credit than I deserve, but it delights me to know that you like it, that you think this is worth of your time. After all this fiction is my beloved child. And about Phantom of the Opera $B!D (B I was enchanted when I listened to the CD once again and found that song from it. I simply like the musical but the book... It goes beyond like.
To Lee Nightingale: Now Albel does not grow out form his habits. XD Thank gods for small miracles.
To Erim_Kawamori: You have to learn to be patient with me. It takes about one month to write and edit one chapter so that I am pleased with it. Sorry if it is too long but I have to go to university time to time. AlbelFayt is truly my OTP!!
To Indiemp: I am getting so much praise that I am afraid that some day I can not meet your standards. Until I fail, please continue reading...
To DarkRoseDamael: There are people that disagree with you, I am sure of it. I write this for myself. I read your fiction because I like, because there are differences in our point of views.
*****
Part One - Chapter Seven: The Defiance (No way in HELL I'll listen to HIM!)
When Albel woke up from his afternoon nap, the first thing he realized was that his bedding had become somewhat harder and colder. It still was not too uncomfortable to sleep on but it was clear that he was no longer sleeping within Fayt's warm embrace. After a few more moments of wakefulness Albel came to the conclusion that he was warped into Fayt's cloak and positioned on the grassy soil where Fayt had sat earlier.
And Fayt was no longer sitting with Albel.
Not that Albel really cared... //It's just//, he decided silently still keeping his eyes closed, //that the body of a child prefers sleeping and laying with other human being. Because it's an instinct, necessity for survival. It's this body that yearns warmth and safety, not the real me.// Somehow his reasoning sounded - even - in his own ears like an excuse, which he did not like at all.
Albel pushed the troubling thoughts aside and concentrated on listening to observe his surroundings. He could hear the wind rustling leaves on trees, birds singing, some sound from insects, bugs, water running somewhere near by and Fayt's silent voice. It was apparent that he was training - again - with his healing skills. Albel remembered Fayt telling him the day before the beginning of this mess that he was not pleased with his abilities with Symbology related on healing and such. Albel was not sure *what* had caused the triggering of Fayt's displeasedness to his skills. Albel himself could barely use the simplest spells and none of them were anything like Fayt's attacking spells. Although he knew that Sophia, Adray and Nel were much stronger than Fayt with their healing spells he still every time went to Fayt. He did not want to that giggling, useless wench who clung on Fayt and cried all the time from one reason or other or Aquarian bitch or that disturbingly smiling old man who seemed to like to touch Fayt and Cliff - he might have tried Albel too if he would have dared - to touch him or to see his wounds caused by little mistakes in the battle field. Albel never praised Fayt's abilities nor scorned them.
Emerald-eyed youngster was not bad especially while fighting. What was his motivation to get better?
*****
Fayt Leingod was such a goody-two-shoes that Albel could not stand him. Too high and mighty with his pitiful companions, so that Albel could feel his stomach twist and nausea hitting on him like division of airdragons making him want to convulse and vomit. And yet that naive bastard had gone and won over him, Albel the Wicked.
Albel looked at his clawed fingers squeezing into a fist, opening and then doing it again and again. He could not understand how that blue-haired, emerald-eyed boy had been able to defeat him. When had he become so weak that he could not even win against one pretty-faced boy? Albel knew that the shame was his and not anyone else's. It was *Albel* who had underestimated the boy and his companions and recklessly entered the battle. When had he become so prideful that he could no longer see the possibility of someone stronger than himself appearing?
Albel asked from himself had his honored father's death not been a good lesson enough to teach him that he was useless and weak. Had he not learned then that he was *not strong at all*? That he was just a meaningless, foolish son of the Great Glou Nox?
Albel looked up and met the bloody crimson eyes of himself in the mirror. Had he really thought that things had changed? Albel smashed his face in the mirror with his good hand and stared with sick fascination as his face shattered along the glass and those sharp, sharp pieces of disgust, guilt and sin pierced and cut and slashed his unprotected skin everywhere they could reach.
There was an agitated knock on the door and Albel realized that he most have kept quite a noise that had woke up his neighbor. He left the mirror, moving to the side of his bed. He gazed at the blood oozing and trickling from the dozens of little wounds on his body and as the dizziness almost overwhelmed him, he realized that he had not yet recovered from his long imprisonment.
This time the knock on his door was more determined than before. While Albel chose to ignore the other person, the one behind the door saw it suiting not to care about Albel's decision, opened the door and stepped in.
Albel was furious. How someone *dared* to invade his personal space like this?! He turned around and opened his mouth to slash out with all he had. His answer was horrified suck of breath and crash born out of bottles and jars of healing items breaking to the floor.
The ruby-eyes of Albel Nox met the wide emerald one's of frozen Fayt Leingod as he stared the half-naked and blood decorated form of his former enemy and new ally. The question in his eyes was clear yet it was never really voiced out.
What happened to you, Albel Nox?
*****
//What indeed had happened to me?// Albel wondered cynically and opened his eyes to look at Fayt whom had now sat down and was reading something. He had pair of glasses on his nose and his brows were frowned in a way that told Albel that the blue-haired one was struggling with some kind of troubling question or matter.
Albel was curious to know if the book Fayt was reading was somehow related on something called 'homework'. While traveling with Fayt he had learned about existence of 'schools', 'universities' and 'educational system'. They intrigued Albel because they had something like them in Airyglyph but nothing as big as it was in Pangalactic Federation.
Fayt was a university student, a feat that not everybody was able to reach. He was majoring in Symbology and his minor subjects were engineering and mathematics. He was good at them although he had confessed to Albel that he was a little lazy on Symbology because his parents had taught him much more than they could in university. By his very nature Fayt was polite and after the first shock he was quick adapt to the new situations. He was quick witted, he had courage and ability to give correct, most suitable reaction for the situation he was facing.
Yet Fayt was little bit too trusting and naïve for Albel's taste.
Albel had had a private tutor that had taught him to read and write. Albel had also studied history, mathematics and Runology. His father had guided him in war tactics, sword fighting and smithery and he had become familiar with healing herbs and items along the way. The ways and traditions of the Royal Court Albel had learned first from his father and Lord Woltar and later on King Azrei took Glou Nox's place beside of Lord Woltar.
Yet Albel was little bit too cold and sarcastic in Fayt's opinion.
*****
Two hours later Albel came to the conclusion that the blue-haired youngster was a pest - worse than a pest - but for once he did not word out his thoughts. Because it would have resulted in more hustle and bustle, fussing around him. Or then Fayt would be true to his word and call out that blond ape to sit on Albel so he could heal the rest of his wounds. In two hours Albel had found out that no matter how much he bad-mouthed the other man his words were either completely ignored or returned to him with same vigor.
So Albel settled it all by sitting on his bed and watching with certain disinterest as the boy in front of him used healing spell after another to heal every small wound Albel had gained from the shattered mirror pieces. But he really did not understand the reason why use a tiny, separate spell on every single hurt instead of one big that would close then all at once. The curiosity was so bad that it was slowly killing him. He reasoned that perhaps asking would help him understand this naïve child. "Why are you doing that?" Albel asked slowly. He could not remember the last time he had allowed someone to stay this long this close to his body.
The blue-haired young man looked up after a while from his job and stared at Albel without a word. Then he bended his head to the side and blew one bright blue lock of hair off from in front of his eyes. "Why I'm doing what?" he asked with a frown in his voice. "You aren't talking about healing so what's bothering you in my doings?" He returned his eyes to Albel's bare skin frowning to a glass shard.
Gentleness and worry in other's touch was driving Albel on the wall. No one was supposed to care for him. No one was supposed to touch him like he was an ordinary human being. But Albel easily controlled his voice and body. "I meant: Why are you healing my every wound separately?" he clarified his earlier question which he hardly ever did to anybody. "It'd be lot quicker if you just healed it all once", he pointed out with irritation.
The green-eyed youngster did not avert his eyes from his work as he answered: "If I do that, it's possible that some tiny glass shards will be left in which might cause the once healed wounds to fester." His voice was steady and kind of uncaring. "You're coming with us and we've no time to wait for you to recover from the fever that festering will cause."
It was a simple, logical answer told with an earnest tone of voice.
And like Hell Albel believed. There was something else behind the reasoning. The answer was too well prepared to be worded out without further thought.
Albel could feel corner of his eye twitching from annoyance, irritation and many other things too. "If that was the reason", he began and his voice could have frozen the entire erupting volcano, "you could've only treated my right hand." The fingers in Albel's right hand twitched. "I broke the mirror with my knuckles so shards should be only there. Yet you treat every wound like they're your doing."
The other one did not say anything. In silence he finished his work and stood up. He walked over the water basin, washed his hands and prepared to leave from the room. From the door Albel heard something he never expected spoken in almost nonexistent whisper: "If I'd do that... it might leave scars on your skin." The door was closed and the foolish emerald-eyed boy was gone.
Albel stared at the closed door for a long, long time. //What the Hell is that supposed to mean?!// He *really* did not get Fayt Leingod but he was ready to take some time to learn things about that fool. Then crushing him would be easier.
*****
Albel closed his eyes not desiring to look at the blue-haired Earthling any longer. He rather listened to what was going on around him. But for his complete annoyance and disbelief, his ears seemed only to pick up the noises Fayt caused.
Albel raised his clawed hand and ran its fingers over his right arm. Even though the metal prevented him from sensing, feeling the skin under the fingertips he knew that the skin of the arm was smooth and scarless. Because that time Fayt had healed him like that.
Make no mistake. Albel had scars. They just were very faint, almost nonexistent or then they were covered by the bandages and claw on his left arm. Albel had scars both on his body and in his soul but he had not gained any from that first night after getting back his freedom from the dungeon of the royal castle. Because that night Fayt had healed him with almost parental care. The scars of flesh, the scars of mind.
Albel had learned that Fayt was stubborn like Albel himself but he had still to learn why on that night Fayt had healed him like his body was something more than a tool for Albel's ambitions. Like Albel was somehow precious...
*****
The morning when they were supposed to leave Airyglyph behind the king called for Albel to have a private audience with him.
Annoyed Albel was far from being happy because he had wished that he did not have to see the king before he had completed his mission with these irritating people. He knew that the king would only make fun of him and repeat every single warning he had already had from the old man. But he went - reluctantly, but went in any case.
Albel greeted the High Lord of the kingdom without any courtesy and flopped into chair glaring at his king with his hot, bloody eyes.
King greeted Albel happily, told him to be nice and to play along.
Albel almost keeled over from disbelief and almost broke the king's desk while he laughed at him and bounded the surface of the desk with his steeled fist. Albel could not remember how long it had been since Azrei had told him a practical joke this good.
Albel never behaved nicely. He told that to the king.
Albel never danced along with someone else's but his own flute. He told that to the king too.
Azrei answered by telling Albel that he was only repeating what *Woltar* had asked him say to Albel.
Albel's laugh stopped like cut off with a knife. He was not amused any longer and he sneered.
Azrei reminded Albel that those people *had* killed Lord Vox and defeated Albel in a fair fight. They should not be taken lightly. They were powerful and if stories from the war field were true Fayt Leingod was holding a power to be feared within himself. Fayt Leingod, the king reminded Albel, was a frighteningly strong young man.
Albel showed his disinterest on the matter at hand by playing with the golden tips of his long hair-tails. He was tired of hearing Fayt Leingod this, Fayt Leingod that. So what if he was the embodiment of destruction? He was still human, no god and because of that vulnerable, Albel's prey.
*****
Albel opened his eyes, raised himself to sit and massaged his temples as he felt the first warning signs of a massive headache. He should not think about these matters it appeared. No matter how much he would mull over them they would not change.
There were times when Albel dreamt of second changes, when 'what ifs' were everything he could think of, when he imagined alterations one different word would cause. After his fathers death he had only asked that he could get his father back. But he had known that there was no turning back and it was utterly wrong.
No... It was not 'utterly wrong'... It was how things were... The result of actions of one's own free will...
Albel stood up allowing Fayt's cloak slid off his shoulders and glanced to Fayt whom was still sitting on the ground without showing any mark of stirring. He seemed to be engulfed by the book he was reading and Albel wondered again what that book was about. Within a few moments he came to the conclusion that it really did not matter what that book was about. The problem appeared to be - once again - the fact that the blue-haired Earthling was *not* paying attention to what was going on around him.
This whole scenario reminded Albel about something. Something he and Fayt had experienced once before. He had to wonder *how* foolish the other man could be. This place was not by any means nowhere near safe and yet other was just sitting on the ground and reading like the worst distraction he might suffer was shouting children or irritated Albel or other person from their group.
Albel took one step forward and then another and another until he was steadily walking over the grassy expansion to Fayt. With mild irritation he unemotionally noted that the blue-haired one was ever so engulfed by the book on his hand. Albel noted a small frown on other's face as the page was turned and glasses pushed back to more comfortable position on other's nose. Albel heard owner of the emerald-eyes muttering something hardly audible and saw the frown grow more intense.
The foolish Earthling was once again thinking something too complicated for his own good.
It was something so typical for the younger male that Albel should not have thought of it any longer than fleetingly. Yet here he was something like... concerned... for the blue-haired one. No concern... That was his way, Albel the Wicked's way... Uncaring, unfeeling, unflattering, cruel, evil... in a body of a child... helpless, cared for, looked after, weak, vulnerable...
Albel hated this crap he was going through. This was indeed the most annoying and irritating joke that fate had ever played on him after his father's death. Making him dependant on someone else, left him on the mercy of a boy whose trail of thought he could not simply fathom, understand. Hateful destiny, fate, fate, fate, Fayt, Fayt...
//Fayt... Lein... god...//
It was like everything was circling around the Embodiment of Destruction, rising up all kinds of forgotten emotions, feelings discarded. What was so different in Earthling that Albel could not raise his hand against him? Why were things now so different? Why, why Fayt, Fayt, fate, fate, faith, faith...
//Believer... Truthspeaker... Enigma...// Albel could feel his thoughts whirling around and around his sole companion at present. He could not sense any danger, yet he felt that there was plenty of it, inner rather than outer. For Fayt. For Albel. Unanswered questions that had never really been worded out. Received replays to thoughts that they had expressed in motion.
*****
Albel's mind had not entirely grasped the reason for their trip to Peterny. He *had* inquired the reason several times from the blue-haired leader of their group but he was yet to get a good, solid reason which would explain this unneeded trip to the trading town. Because no matter how much *Albel* studied, mulled over the matter he could not find any other reason than Fayt Leingod suddenly had acquired an unsatisfied need to spend more time dodging his responsibilities.
And no matter how Albel disliked their Earthling leader there was something inside him that did not want to believe that the other young man would be mentally weak.
But when they finally arrived to Peterny Albel was more than *sure* that their trip to the trading town was not because of Fayt's laziness or mental weakness or something like that but because of some other, still unidentified reason. He had realized that he was not only one confused by their sudden trip to Peterny. In the evenings he had heard several others - the Aquarian wench, the blond ape, tattooed old man - pestering their leader about this unneeded side trip. No matter how many times Albel heard them questioning Fayt, they never received any kind of answer.
//Is it so//, Albel wondered as they walked into the trading town of Peterny, //that Leingod doesn't know even himself?!// The thought was ridiculous but he could not get rid of it.
When the night came and they retired into their respective rooms in the inn they had chosen earlier, Albel lied on his bed feeling the twitches of anger and irritation which he had not been able to vent, over the day running over his muscles and skin. He was feeling restless and it was entirely Fayt Leingod's fault! Dragging him around the town all day long making him buy new armor and clothes and katana and gods know what more!
Albel rose from his bedding and got dressed. The blue-haired young man was irking him beyond his comprehension and he wanted to put stop to these strange feelings the other made him feel. He could not stand seeing the other in danger, it made him furious beyond anger to see the boy knocked out and laying on the ground unmoving and bleeding, he wanted to see more of those emerald-green eyes blazing in anger and other feelings when they were fighting with their words... Albel halted with his dressing and lightly ran his fingers over his lower stomach while imagining those delicate, pale fingers brushing over his stomach as they had done on that very first night in Airyglyph. Now again he felt the warmth he had not allowed then to touch his mind, encircling him and burning in his loins.
Briskly Albel shook his head and put rest of his clothes on. He took his weapons, exited his room and walked over to a door of one of the rooms rowing the corridor. He did not hesitate when he stepped in and found his way beside the bed and the person sleeping in it. Slowly he drew his sword and with mild interest in his face he raised the blade and swiftly stabbed beside the head on the pillow.
"Arggghhh!!!" Fayt screamed out and jumped up on the bed. "Who the...?" His wide, shocked eyes scanned the room and finally stopped on a dark figure beside the bed. "It's you!? Albel?!" His eyes slid off the vague figure and locked themselves on the blade that was still impaling his pillow. "What do you think you're trying to pull?! That's dangerous!" he complained loudly and pointed at the blade.
Albel could not help but to smirk. "Heh, it's not like I was trying to hit you", he slowly worded out and pulled off his katana. "I was just testing my aim." He raised the blade gleaming in the moonlight to his lips and without hurry he licked it just to make his point out.
No blood. A disappointment.
Albel showed the blade back to its sheath.
Fayt could not believe his ears. "Just testing your aim?!" He rolled his eyes in disbelief. This was soooooo *not* happening... Fayt threw his feet off the bed and rose to his legs. He did not say anything but his eyes... they were speaking, screaming in volumes, demanding answers, explanations.
But Albel was not going to give Fayt any. At least not here, where anyone from their party might walk in any moment. He turned his back to the half-dressed Earthling youngster and proceeded towards the door of the room. "Shut up and come over here, fool", he ordered, opened the door and slipped out like shadow, closing the door behind himself without sound. As he walked to the exit of the inn he made sure that no sound betrayed his presence to a night servant of the inn.
*****
Albel looked up to the sky and checked the position of the sun. It was not yet so late that day would have changed into evening or twilight, but there was no knowledge how far away or where the rest of their idiotic party was. Albel hell did not know and he was ready to bet everything he had that neither knew Fayt.
Besides...
The person in question was obliviously *still* sitting on the ground and reading his book.
Albel felt his brow twitch. They could not stay here much longer any more. The evenings in the Irisa Field were not anywhere near as cold as the ones in Traum Mountains but Albel acknowledged the fact that he and Fayt had no food rations or any camping equipment. As long as Fayt was overprotective and would not allow Albel fight he did not want Proclaimers or Enforcers to surprise them in the dark. Those monsters were hard enough to fight with full battle party and Fayt facing them alone was not an option.
So Albel had to do something to Fayt to get his ass off the ground and to use his brains to find their way back to others rather than reading something useless book.
Albel walked closer and absent-mindedly he chewed the inside of his cheek while thinking what to do to gain the blue-haired Earthling's attention. He knew that there were several ways but none of them seemed appealing enough for him. Kicking, yelling, nudging, hitting... None of them interested Albel. He stopped in front of the other one and began to argue with himself as a devious thought entered into his mind. It was gentle and crueler than cruel. It was a telltale truth and lie like no other. It was like an emotion that radiated nothing else than everything-eating emotionlessness. It was like and hate, lust and disinterest.
All those sentimental emotions, expressions that Fayt gave out and Albel absorbed like a never full black hole.
Albel took the one last step forward, crouched and set his hand on the page Fayt was reading, gaining the other's attention. Fayt raised his face, alertness written allover, and quickly - so that he could not do any second-guessing - Albel pressed his lips on the side of Fayt's mouth. The touch was not there even for a heart beat and Albel was already straightened and looking down at Fayt, indifference plastered on his face.
Lips pressed firmly on hateful, straight line, his entire body signaling every kind of negative aspects of human emotion where oddly mental tiredness was the strongest one, Albel raised his hand and pointed the sun and its position. He did not want to talk. There was nothing to talk about. After all... Albel was not a person easily slipping into position that others had created for him. However, nowadays he was traveling with the others by his own choice.
Fayt looked to the sky few long moments. He was aware that it had become time to go back. But he really did not want to leave this place. This place he realized had become the place closest thing to paradise he would ever experience. This was a place where Fayt was able to be alone with Albel and no one could say that what he dreamed here would be wrong. But no matter how he had tried to stall it... this was not the time or the place. This was not heaven, paradise.
Fayt got up and brushed the blades of grass on his trousers off. In silence he put his book away, checked his weapons and fetched his cloak. He assured to himself that this would not be the last piece of his personal heaven, peace he would see. He assured that there would more of these times together with Albel. When Fayt offered his hand to Albel he acknowledged the sound of lies behind his assuring words.
Albel stared angrily at Fayt but took the offered hand and bothered his brains to find *where* he had experienced something like this. When and where had the emerald-eyed youth been together with him, just the two of them? When and where had the blue-haired young man been vulnerable in front of him without no-one stopping Albel from stabbing him?
Albel and Fayt walked on in comfortable silence. There were no words to conceal the hidden thoughts, to distract the wandering minds, to coax the exposing conversation.
And it was good. Because sometimes, just sometimes, one word could tell the million truths instead of lies.
*****
The concept of this so called 4D Universe was completely unimaginable and unbearable. As he walked the streets of Arkives he felt strangely distracted, unbalanced and nervous. His already low tolerance was starting to run very, very, very thin and he wanted to have some action, movement to break this stillness, peacefulness where nothing, simply nothing happened.
But deep down Albel knew this peace was a fake one or had the fight in front of Flad's house been his imagination?
Albel was restless and by accident he noticed Fayt walking across the strange, glassy town square - or what ever it was called here... He did not say a word just following the graceful stride of the younger one as he moved from person to person talking, questioning, inquiring. Albel realized that the other was gathering information about this place and probably also about this Gemity where they were supposed to travel next.
Albel turned his back to the blue-haired Earthling and continued his pacing around. His steps were not nervous or anything but he was painfully aware that his attire and weapons were not normal around here and they would attract attention sooner or later. Then he heard a familiar, soothing voice calling his name and greeting him.
Albel turned to face Fayt whom stood quite close to him. He opened his mouth before his brain could catch up with his irritation. "What is this place!?" he demanded to know and hissed full on disgust towards people around the town. "Everyone is walking around like zombies. I care not for this world. I'd just as soon put all these losers out of their misery..." Albel gritted his teeth trying to restrain his temper.
There was a flash of some emotion on Fayt's face but it was gone before Albel could label it. With a light laugh he washed the emotion and Albel's dark words away. "What are you saying!? Just relax", he ordered lightly then returned back to steadfast. "We stick out enough as it is", he pointed out matter-of-factly. "We can't afford any more problems!"
Albel waved his hand dismissingly. "Yeah, yeah, I know", he muttered. He was not stupid! "We're not allowed to cause attention to ourselves until we get our main target, right?" He knew very well the meaning of 'stealth'. "Don't worry, I haven't killed anyone yet..." Albel allowed his word fade away and showed his cruelest smirk to younger one. A little threat was always good.
Fayt smiled faintly. He seemed to be weary. "Fine, as long as you understand", he sighed and brushed with gentle fingers over Albel's right upper arm. He raised his face and locked his emerald-eyes into Albel's crimson ones. "You may not realize this, but I'm holding back, too, you know", Fayt confessed. "These people killed my father... All those people in the Milky Way..." He shook his head violently and his hands fisted. "Just thinking abut it is enough to drive me crazy! Argh!!!" He seemed to be in lot of pain.
Albel was little taken aback for Fayt's almost desperate, violent words and he nearly did not know how to react accordingly. "Yeah, I know. Sorry." The apology left his lips silently and the surprised expression on the Earthling's face proved that he was far from sure what he had just slipped from his mouth. Albel almost could not believe it himself either. So he changed the topic. "Heh, enough of this conversation. I hate talking about this kind of thing." The finality in his voice prevented the further questions, wonderings, affirmations.
Albel left Fayt standing alone where they had talked, but before he disappeared behind the nearest corner, he saw a beautiful, sad, yearning smile on Fayt's lips.
*****
Disturbing.
Yes, that was the right word for it.
Disturbing.
Every thing that Fayt did for Albel's sake, to Albel, with Albel was disturbing.
Every emotion that rose from Fayt, mirrored on Fayt's face because of Albel was disturbing for Albel.
For long time now Albel had wondered where lied Fayt's limits of tolerance for Albel's actions, deeds, words, personality. Why did the other see so much trouble to make him feel good, accepted, normal although it was painfully clear that things were not like that at all between them. Like now when the two of them were walking on Irisa Fields hand in hand like normal friends or like normal brothers. But what lied behind and beyond this so fake-like image... It was something so far from normal that it was hard to comprehend.
As Albel and Fayt walked, Albel reflected on things around him, inside him. It was not wrong to pursue strength. It was not wrong to seek wisdom. It was not wrong to strive for honor. Those things were not wrong... unless... Unless one went overboard. Unless one sold his or her soul for those things. Albel felt the hand holding his hand and strode forward with light, strong steps. He knew that he was reminiscing, dwelling in the past and he did nothing to it, letting himself float with the flow, not rejecting, not accepting, because Fayt's hand was his anchor, his stronghold in reality.
Inside the flood of his mind Albel just was. He looked into his past wishing nothing... seeking something...? Walking beside the emerald-eyed Earthling, passing the trees and spending moments and kilometers meant nothing and everything to Albel. And he wondered... Had he become strong? Had he become weak? Was he still the useless son of the great Glou Nox?
And so the drifting went on without hindrance of fighting back.
Because Albel really was not searching answers, trusting that Fayt's touch would keep him sane.
One thought changed into another, thoughts following each other without pattern or restrictions. Two conversations repeating over and over inside Albel's head. Both in Peterny and once again. Two conversations both so different yet so alike teaching Albel to be careful when dealing with this blue-haired young man walking with him even now. The ability to understand, see deeper than worded out and willingness to talk seriously when Fayt's opinion was truly wanted.
For long time now Albel had wondered where lied Fayt's limits of tolerance for Albel's actions, deeds, words, personality. Why did the other see so much trouble to make him feel good, accepted, normal although it was painfully clear that things were not like that at all between them. Like now when the two of them were walking on Irisa Fields hand in hand like normal friends or like normal brothers. But what lied behind and beyond this so fake-like image... It was something so far from normal that it was hard to comprehend.
Albel breathed deeply filling his lungs with fresh air and returned back from the imaginary world of chaotic thoughts chasing one then another around and around. His eyes and now clear mind fixed themselves back to reality that existed everywhere in this planet. There were times when voices of nature meant nothing but a noise that agitated him. But Fayt's breath never did that to him. It confirmed to Albel that his prey was not getting away, slipping into his death without his approval.
Somewhere along the way a violent military captain and an ordinary university student had learned to understand each other and though their opinions hardly ever agreed or met, they had found a way to deal with disagreements.
*****
How many times Fayt had thought of it before this, before confessing his thoughts to Albel?
Albel did not know, did not in truth care or did not want to know. It was enough to know that the blue-haired youngster had given a thought for Albel's motives. But even the information of this scale did not change that he was Albel the Wicked. He knew only one way of responding. So he turned his face away from the other male in the dark night and let out a bitter sound: "Heh..."
Fayt only sighed and shook his head. "And I have a feeling you won't just hurt people for no reason anymore", he confessed letting Albel's cold response slid.
Again and again the Leingod boy surprised Albel. He turned his burning, bloody eyes to the Earthling and stepped closer. He was so close to the other one that he could feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Albel could not help a sneer and stubbornness and feeling of wanting to be rejected surfaced. "But I could attack you right now, just like before", he pointed out, looming above the shorter male and smelling the unfamiliar fragrance rising from the blue hair.
Fayt lifted his face upwards to lock their eyes together and smiled reassuringly. "It's all right", he breathed silently and leaned closer to Albel. "I trust you", he confessed and slight pink tinted his cheeks when his fingers idly played on his sword, scabbard, side of his vest.
Albel could not stand what he thought he saw in those innocent eyes and withdrew. He bitterly reminded him that this person in front of him was still a *child* and his 19 years of life had been secured and protected. There was no way Fayt Leingod understood what his eyes were transmitting. Albel collected his bearings and took direction to returning back to the inn. "What a happy little world you live in", he bitterly, sarcastically, enviously stated. "Dream on, fool. Dream on", he whispered to Fayt, to himself and disappeared into the darkness that formed the night air surrounding, cloaking everything in the town.
*****
Albel looked from afar at the camp which the rest of the party had put up while waiting him and Fayt to return from their separated way. From here it seemed so peaceful and beautiful and Albel felt distant feeling of belonging, like he was supposed to be here from the beginning. Silently he wondered. //What is this place I belong to...?// It was hard for him to imagine staying with all of them, because they were not meant to live together always, till the end of their time in this world.
Albel felt a gentle tuck on his hand and turned to look around himself only to find Fayt raising him onto his arms and carrying towards the camp.
It was a fleeting thought that never really surfaced in Albel's mind. It was a thought of when he had stopped kicking back and accepted that he really could no longer rebel, fight against Fayt. When had he let go off it all and acknowledged that there was no longer need to defiance, that this was what he was and Fayt had learned to live with it?
TBC...
*****
Author's Note 2: I know that there are several dozens (and more) fictions about Albel and Fayt's Peterny Inn PA, but it is quite important (no matter the answer) when one is thinking of their relationship. I am still kind of irritated to myself that I decided to use it in this fiction... Oh well... Hopefully it does not destroy the impact of the earlier chapters...
The dialogs of Petarny Inn PA and Arkives PA are both taken and copied directly from the game and I have not created them. I have only written the actions and emotions Albel and Fayt go through during those Pas the way I view them and these actions are not from the actual game. As you know Peterny Inn PA with answer "Not really." gives Albel +5 affection points towards Fayt while Arkives PA with answer "As long as you understood" gives Albel +3 AP towards Fayt and Fayt +1 AP towards Albel.
// 9 pages in Word
// 6 376 words
Fandom: Star Ocean III: Till the End of Time
Pairing: Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean III. It belongs to Square Enix, may they do lots of more good games.
Warnings: Eventually NC-17. Contains yaoi meaning at least two boys having sex together but not in first few chapters. Possible child abuse but not in sexual manner. This chapter might contain spoilers about acquiring Albel as party member in Peterny and other PAs.
Author's Note 1: This time I am hopefully *not* counting the writing days... Sooooo uncool... *dies* Damn... This is going to be one hell of a looooooooong chapter... Still OOC Albel... I think. Too many flashbacks... I think. Hopefully this works...
Answers for Reviews: Ooooh... You are so supporting me to go on. I am speechless. Thank you very much. Hopefully this chapter gains your favor too.
To SuijiDL: I think that is just the way Albel and Fayt are. Things are painfully different to both of them and they are not quite ready to think what kind of changes are on the move. I used Maria because I like her and she is very analytic person. Even in the game I see relationship between Albel and Fayt chancing and I had to somehow bring fort that the changes are clearer for outsiders.
To Rho: You are giving me more credit than I deserve, but it delights me to know that you like it, that you think this is worth of your time. After all this fiction is my beloved child. And about Phantom of the Opera $B!D (B I was enchanted when I listened to the CD once again and found that song from it. I simply like the musical but the book... It goes beyond like.
To Lee Nightingale: Now Albel does not grow out form his habits. XD Thank gods for small miracles.
To Erim_Kawamori: You have to learn to be patient with me. It takes about one month to write and edit one chapter so that I am pleased with it. Sorry if it is too long but I have to go to university time to time. AlbelFayt is truly my OTP!!
To Indiemp: I am getting so much praise that I am afraid that some day I can not meet your standards. Until I fail, please continue reading...
To DarkRoseDamael: There are people that disagree with you, I am sure of it. I write this for myself. I read your fiction because I like, because there are differences in our point of views.
*****
Part One - Chapter Seven: The Defiance (No way in HELL I'll listen to HIM!)
When Albel woke up from his afternoon nap, the first thing he realized was that his bedding had become somewhat harder and colder. It still was not too uncomfortable to sleep on but it was clear that he was no longer sleeping within Fayt's warm embrace. After a few more moments of wakefulness Albel came to the conclusion that he was warped into Fayt's cloak and positioned on the grassy soil where Fayt had sat earlier.
And Fayt was no longer sitting with Albel.
Not that Albel really cared... //It's just//, he decided silently still keeping his eyes closed, //that the body of a child prefers sleeping and laying with other human being. Because it's an instinct, necessity for survival. It's this body that yearns warmth and safety, not the real me.// Somehow his reasoning sounded - even - in his own ears like an excuse, which he did not like at all.
Albel pushed the troubling thoughts aside and concentrated on listening to observe his surroundings. He could hear the wind rustling leaves on trees, birds singing, some sound from insects, bugs, water running somewhere near by and Fayt's silent voice. It was apparent that he was training - again - with his healing skills. Albel remembered Fayt telling him the day before the beginning of this mess that he was not pleased with his abilities with Symbology related on healing and such. Albel was not sure *what* had caused the triggering of Fayt's displeasedness to his skills. Albel himself could barely use the simplest spells and none of them were anything like Fayt's attacking spells. Although he knew that Sophia, Adray and Nel were much stronger than Fayt with their healing spells he still every time went to Fayt. He did not want to that giggling, useless wench who clung on Fayt and cried all the time from one reason or other or Aquarian bitch or that disturbingly smiling old man who seemed to like to touch Fayt and Cliff - he might have tried Albel too if he would have dared - to touch him or to see his wounds caused by little mistakes in the battle field. Albel never praised Fayt's abilities nor scorned them.
Emerald-eyed youngster was not bad especially while fighting. What was his motivation to get better?
*****
Fayt Leingod was such a goody-two-shoes that Albel could not stand him. Too high and mighty with his pitiful companions, so that Albel could feel his stomach twist and nausea hitting on him like division of airdragons making him want to convulse and vomit. And yet that naive bastard had gone and won over him, Albel the Wicked.
Albel looked at his clawed fingers squeezing into a fist, opening and then doing it again and again. He could not understand how that blue-haired, emerald-eyed boy had been able to defeat him. When had he become so weak that he could not even win against one pretty-faced boy? Albel knew that the shame was his and not anyone else's. It was *Albel* who had underestimated the boy and his companions and recklessly entered the battle. When had he become so prideful that he could no longer see the possibility of someone stronger than himself appearing?
Albel asked from himself had his honored father's death not been a good lesson enough to teach him that he was useless and weak. Had he not learned then that he was *not strong at all*? That he was just a meaningless, foolish son of the Great Glou Nox?
Albel looked up and met the bloody crimson eyes of himself in the mirror. Had he really thought that things had changed? Albel smashed his face in the mirror with his good hand and stared with sick fascination as his face shattered along the glass and those sharp, sharp pieces of disgust, guilt and sin pierced and cut and slashed his unprotected skin everywhere they could reach.
There was an agitated knock on the door and Albel realized that he most have kept quite a noise that had woke up his neighbor. He left the mirror, moving to the side of his bed. He gazed at the blood oozing and trickling from the dozens of little wounds on his body and as the dizziness almost overwhelmed him, he realized that he had not yet recovered from his long imprisonment.
This time the knock on his door was more determined than before. While Albel chose to ignore the other person, the one behind the door saw it suiting not to care about Albel's decision, opened the door and stepped in.
Albel was furious. How someone *dared* to invade his personal space like this?! He turned around and opened his mouth to slash out with all he had. His answer was horrified suck of breath and crash born out of bottles and jars of healing items breaking to the floor.
The ruby-eyes of Albel Nox met the wide emerald one's of frozen Fayt Leingod as he stared the half-naked and blood decorated form of his former enemy and new ally. The question in his eyes was clear yet it was never really voiced out.
What happened to you, Albel Nox?
*****
//What indeed had happened to me?// Albel wondered cynically and opened his eyes to look at Fayt whom had now sat down and was reading something. He had pair of glasses on his nose and his brows were frowned in a way that told Albel that the blue-haired one was struggling with some kind of troubling question or matter.
Albel was curious to know if the book Fayt was reading was somehow related on something called 'homework'. While traveling with Fayt he had learned about existence of 'schools', 'universities' and 'educational system'. They intrigued Albel because they had something like them in Airyglyph but nothing as big as it was in Pangalactic Federation.
Fayt was a university student, a feat that not everybody was able to reach. He was majoring in Symbology and his minor subjects were engineering and mathematics. He was good at them although he had confessed to Albel that he was a little lazy on Symbology because his parents had taught him much more than they could in university. By his very nature Fayt was polite and after the first shock he was quick adapt to the new situations. He was quick witted, he had courage and ability to give correct, most suitable reaction for the situation he was facing.
Yet Fayt was little bit too trusting and naïve for Albel's taste.
Albel had had a private tutor that had taught him to read and write. Albel had also studied history, mathematics and Runology. His father had guided him in war tactics, sword fighting and smithery and he had become familiar with healing herbs and items along the way. The ways and traditions of the Royal Court Albel had learned first from his father and Lord Woltar and later on King Azrei took Glou Nox's place beside of Lord Woltar.
Yet Albel was little bit too cold and sarcastic in Fayt's opinion.
*****
Two hours later Albel came to the conclusion that the blue-haired youngster was a pest - worse than a pest - but for once he did not word out his thoughts. Because it would have resulted in more hustle and bustle, fussing around him. Or then Fayt would be true to his word and call out that blond ape to sit on Albel so he could heal the rest of his wounds. In two hours Albel had found out that no matter how much he bad-mouthed the other man his words were either completely ignored or returned to him with same vigor.
So Albel settled it all by sitting on his bed and watching with certain disinterest as the boy in front of him used healing spell after another to heal every small wound Albel had gained from the shattered mirror pieces. But he really did not understand the reason why use a tiny, separate spell on every single hurt instead of one big that would close then all at once. The curiosity was so bad that it was slowly killing him. He reasoned that perhaps asking would help him understand this naïve child. "Why are you doing that?" Albel asked slowly. He could not remember the last time he had allowed someone to stay this long this close to his body.
The blue-haired young man looked up after a while from his job and stared at Albel without a word. Then he bended his head to the side and blew one bright blue lock of hair off from in front of his eyes. "Why I'm doing what?" he asked with a frown in his voice. "You aren't talking about healing so what's bothering you in my doings?" He returned his eyes to Albel's bare skin frowning to a glass shard.
Gentleness and worry in other's touch was driving Albel on the wall. No one was supposed to care for him. No one was supposed to touch him like he was an ordinary human being. But Albel easily controlled his voice and body. "I meant: Why are you healing my every wound separately?" he clarified his earlier question which he hardly ever did to anybody. "It'd be lot quicker if you just healed it all once", he pointed out with irritation.
The green-eyed youngster did not avert his eyes from his work as he answered: "If I do that, it's possible that some tiny glass shards will be left in which might cause the once healed wounds to fester." His voice was steady and kind of uncaring. "You're coming with us and we've no time to wait for you to recover from the fever that festering will cause."
It was a simple, logical answer told with an earnest tone of voice.
And like Hell Albel believed. There was something else behind the reasoning. The answer was too well prepared to be worded out without further thought.
Albel could feel corner of his eye twitching from annoyance, irritation and many other things too. "If that was the reason", he began and his voice could have frozen the entire erupting volcano, "you could've only treated my right hand." The fingers in Albel's right hand twitched. "I broke the mirror with my knuckles so shards should be only there. Yet you treat every wound like they're your doing."
The other one did not say anything. In silence he finished his work and stood up. He walked over the water basin, washed his hands and prepared to leave from the room. From the door Albel heard something he never expected spoken in almost nonexistent whisper: "If I'd do that... it might leave scars on your skin." The door was closed and the foolish emerald-eyed boy was gone.
Albel stared at the closed door for a long, long time. //What the Hell is that supposed to mean?!// He *really* did not get Fayt Leingod but he was ready to take some time to learn things about that fool. Then crushing him would be easier.
*****
Albel closed his eyes not desiring to look at the blue-haired Earthling any longer. He rather listened to what was going on around him. But for his complete annoyance and disbelief, his ears seemed only to pick up the noises Fayt caused.
Albel raised his clawed hand and ran its fingers over his right arm. Even though the metal prevented him from sensing, feeling the skin under the fingertips he knew that the skin of the arm was smooth and scarless. Because that time Fayt had healed him like that.
Make no mistake. Albel had scars. They just were very faint, almost nonexistent or then they were covered by the bandages and claw on his left arm. Albel had scars both on his body and in his soul but he had not gained any from that first night after getting back his freedom from the dungeon of the royal castle. Because that night Fayt had healed him with almost parental care. The scars of flesh, the scars of mind.
Albel had learned that Fayt was stubborn like Albel himself but he had still to learn why on that night Fayt had healed him like his body was something more than a tool for Albel's ambitions. Like Albel was somehow precious...
*****
The morning when they were supposed to leave Airyglyph behind the king called for Albel to have a private audience with him.
Annoyed Albel was far from being happy because he had wished that he did not have to see the king before he had completed his mission with these irritating people. He knew that the king would only make fun of him and repeat every single warning he had already had from the old man. But he went - reluctantly, but went in any case.
Albel greeted the High Lord of the kingdom without any courtesy and flopped into chair glaring at his king with his hot, bloody eyes.
King greeted Albel happily, told him to be nice and to play along.
Albel almost keeled over from disbelief and almost broke the king's desk while he laughed at him and bounded the surface of the desk with his steeled fist. Albel could not remember how long it had been since Azrei had told him a practical joke this good.
Albel never behaved nicely. He told that to the king.
Albel never danced along with someone else's but his own flute. He told that to the king too.
Azrei answered by telling Albel that he was only repeating what *Woltar* had asked him say to Albel.
Albel's laugh stopped like cut off with a knife. He was not amused any longer and he sneered.
Azrei reminded Albel that those people *had* killed Lord Vox and defeated Albel in a fair fight. They should not be taken lightly. They were powerful and if stories from the war field were true Fayt Leingod was holding a power to be feared within himself. Fayt Leingod, the king reminded Albel, was a frighteningly strong young man.
Albel showed his disinterest on the matter at hand by playing with the golden tips of his long hair-tails. He was tired of hearing Fayt Leingod this, Fayt Leingod that. So what if he was the embodiment of destruction? He was still human, no god and because of that vulnerable, Albel's prey.
*****
Albel opened his eyes, raised himself to sit and massaged his temples as he felt the first warning signs of a massive headache. He should not think about these matters it appeared. No matter how much he would mull over them they would not change.
There were times when Albel dreamt of second changes, when 'what ifs' were everything he could think of, when he imagined alterations one different word would cause. After his fathers death he had only asked that he could get his father back. But he had known that there was no turning back and it was utterly wrong.
No... It was not 'utterly wrong'... It was how things were... The result of actions of one's own free will...
Albel stood up allowing Fayt's cloak slid off his shoulders and glanced to Fayt whom was still sitting on the ground without showing any mark of stirring. He seemed to be engulfed by the book he was reading and Albel wondered again what that book was about. Within a few moments he came to the conclusion that it really did not matter what that book was about. The problem appeared to be - once again - the fact that the blue-haired Earthling was *not* paying attention to what was going on around him.
This whole scenario reminded Albel about something. Something he and Fayt had experienced once before. He had to wonder *how* foolish the other man could be. This place was not by any means nowhere near safe and yet other was just sitting on the ground and reading like the worst distraction he might suffer was shouting children or irritated Albel or other person from their group.
Albel took one step forward and then another and another until he was steadily walking over the grassy expansion to Fayt. With mild irritation he unemotionally noted that the blue-haired one was ever so engulfed by the book on his hand. Albel noted a small frown on other's face as the page was turned and glasses pushed back to more comfortable position on other's nose. Albel heard owner of the emerald-eyes muttering something hardly audible and saw the frown grow more intense.
The foolish Earthling was once again thinking something too complicated for his own good.
It was something so typical for the younger male that Albel should not have thought of it any longer than fleetingly. Yet here he was something like... concerned... for the blue-haired one. No concern... That was his way, Albel the Wicked's way... Uncaring, unfeeling, unflattering, cruel, evil... in a body of a child... helpless, cared for, looked after, weak, vulnerable...
Albel hated this crap he was going through. This was indeed the most annoying and irritating joke that fate had ever played on him after his father's death. Making him dependant on someone else, left him on the mercy of a boy whose trail of thought he could not simply fathom, understand. Hateful destiny, fate, fate, fate, Fayt, Fayt...
//Fayt... Lein... god...//
It was like everything was circling around the Embodiment of Destruction, rising up all kinds of forgotten emotions, feelings discarded. What was so different in Earthling that Albel could not raise his hand against him? Why were things now so different? Why, why Fayt, Fayt, fate, fate, faith, faith...
//Believer... Truthspeaker... Enigma...// Albel could feel his thoughts whirling around and around his sole companion at present. He could not sense any danger, yet he felt that there was plenty of it, inner rather than outer. For Fayt. For Albel. Unanswered questions that had never really been worded out. Received replays to thoughts that they had expressed in motion.
*****
Albel's mind had not entirely grasped the reason for their trip to Peterny. He *had* inquired the reason several times from the blue-haired leader of their group but he was yet to get a good, solid reason which would explain this unneeded trip to the trading town. Because no matter how much *Albel* studied, mulled over the matter he could not find any other reason than Fayt Leingod suddenly had acquired an unsatisfied need to spend more time dodging his responsibilities.
And no matter how Albel disliked their Earthling leader there was something inside him that did not want to believe that the other young man would be mentally weak.
But when they finally arrived to Peterny Albel was more than *sure* that their trip to the trading town was not because of Fayt's laziness or mental weakness or something like that but because of some other, still unidentified reason. He had realized that he was not only one confused by their sudden trip to Peterny. In the evenings he had heard several others - the Aquarian wench, the blond ape, tattooed old man - pestering their leader about this unneeded side trip. No matter how many times Albel heard them questioning Fayt, they never received any kind of answer.
//Is it so//, Albel wondered as they walked into the trading town of Peterny, //that Leingod doesn't know even himself?!// The thought was ridiculous but he could not get rid of it.
When the night came and they retired into their respective rooms in the inn they had chosen earlier, Albel lied on his bed feeling the twitches of anger and irritation which he had not been able to vent, over the day running over his muscles and skin. He was feeling restless and it was entirely Fayt Leingod's fault! Dragging him around the town all day long making him buy new armor and clothes and katana and gods know what more!
Albel rose from his bedding and got dressed. The blue-haired young man was irking him beyond his comprehension and he wanted to put stop to these strange feelings the other made him feel. He could not stand seeing the other in danger, it made him furious beyond anger to see the boy knocked out and laying on the ground unmoving and bleeding, he wanted to see more of those emerald-green eyes blazing in anger and other feelings when they were fighting with their words... Albel halted with his dressing and lightly ran his fingers over his lower stomach while imagining those delicate, pale fingers brushing over his stomach as they had done on that very first night in Airyglyph. Now again he felt the warmth he had not allowed then to touch his mind, encircling him and burning in his loins.
Briskly Albel shook his head and put rest of his clothes on. He took his weapons, exited his room and walked over to a door of one of the rooms rowing the corridor. He did not hesitate when he stepped in and found his way beside the bed and the person sleeping in it. Slowly he drew his sword and with mild interest in his face he raised the blade and swiftly stabbed beside the head on the pillow.
"Arggghhh!!!" Fayt screamed out and jumped up on the bed. "Who the...?" His wide, shocked eyes scanned the room and finally stopped on a dark figure beside the bed. "It's you!? Albel?!" His eyes slid off the vague figure and locked themselves on the blade that was still impaling his pillow. "What do you think you're trying to pull?! That's dangerous!" he complained loudly and pointed at the blade.
Albel could not help but to smirk. "Heh, it's not like I was trying to hit you", he slowly worded out and pulled off his katana. "I was just testing my aim." He raised the blade gleaming in the moonlight to his lips and without hurry he licked it just to make his point out.
No blood. A disappointment.
Albel showed the blade back to its sheath.
Fayt could not believe his ears. "Just testing your aim?!" He rolled his eyes in disbelief. This was soooooo *not* happening... Fayt threw his feet off the bed and rose to his legs. He did not say anything but his eyes... they were speaking, screaming in volumes, demanding answers, explanations.
But Albel was not going to give Fayt any. At least not here, where anyone from their party might walk in any moment. He turned his back to the half-dressed Earthling youngster and proceeded towards the door of the room. "Shut up and come over here, fool", he ordered, opened the door and slipped out like shadow, closing the door behind himself without sound. As he walked to the exit of the inn he made sure that no sound betrayed his presence to a night servant of the inn.
*****
Albel looked up to the sky and checked the position of the sun. It was not yet so late that day would have changed into evening or twilight, but there was no knowledge how far away or where the rest of their idiotic party was. Albel hell did not know and he was ready to bet everything he had that neither knew Fayt.
Besides...
The person in question was obliviously *still* sitting on the ground and reading his book.
Albel felt his brow twitch. They could not stay here much longer any more. The evenings in the Irisa Field were not anywhere near as cold as the ones in Traum Mountains but Albel acknowledged the fact that he and Fayt had no food rations or any camping equipment. As long as Fayt was overprotective and would not allow Albel fight he did not want Proclaimers or Enforcers to surprise them in the dark. Those monsters were hard enough to fight with full battle party and Fayt facing them alone was not an option.
So Albel had to do something to Fayt to get his ass off the ground and to use his brains to find their way back to others rather than reading something useless book.
Albel walked closer and absent-mindedly he chewed the inside of his cheek while thinking what to do to gain the blue-haired Earthling's attention. He knew that there were several ways but none of them seemed appealing enough for him. Kicking, yelling, nudging, hitting... None of them interested Albel. He stopped in front of the other one and began to argue with himself as a devious thought entered into his mind. It was gentle and crueler than cruel. It was a telltale truth and lie like no other. It was like an emotion that radiated nothing else than everything-eating emotionlessness. It was like and hate, lust and disinterest.
All those sentimental emotions, expressions that Fayt gave out and Albel absorbed like a never full black hole.
Albel took the one last step forward, crouched and set his hand on the page Fayt was reading, gaining the other's attention. Fayt raised his face, alertness written allover, and quickly - so that he could not do any second-guessing - Albel pressed his lips on the side of Fayt's mouth. The touch was not there even for a heart beat and Albel was already straightened and looking down at Fayt, indifference plastered on his face.
Lips pressed firmly on hateful, straight line, his entire body signaling every kind of negative aspects of human emotion where oddly mental tiredness was the strongest one, Albel raised his hand and pointed the sun and its position. He did not want to talk. There was nothing to talk about. After all... Albel was not a person easily slipping into position that others had created for him. However, nowadays he was traveling with the others by his own choice.
Fayt looked to the sky few long moments. He was aware that it had become time to go back. But he really did not want to leave this place. This place he realized had become the place closest thing to paradise he would ever experience. This was a place where Fayt was able to be alone with Albel and no one could say that what he dreamed here would be wrong. But no matter how he had tried to stall it... this was not the time or the place. This was not heaven, paradise.
Fayt got up and brushed the blades of grass on his trousers off. In silence he put his book away, checked his weapons and fetched his cloak. He assured to himself that this would not be the last piece of his personal heaven, peace he would see. He assured that there would more of these times together with Albel. When Fayt offered his hand to Albel he acknowledged the sound of lies behind his assuring words.
Albel stared angrily at Fayt but took the offered hand and bothered his brains to find *where* he had experienced something like this. When and where had the emerald-eyed youth been together with him, just the two of them? When and where had the blue-haired young man been vulnerable in front of him without no-one stopping Albel from stabbing him?
Albel and Fayt walked on in comfortable silence. There were no words to conceal the hidden thoughts, to distract the wandering minds, to coax the exposing conversation.
And it was good. Because sometimes, just sometimes, one word could tell the million truths instead of lies.
*****
The concept of this so called 4D Universe was completely unimaginable and unbearable. As he walked the streets of Arkives he felt strangely distracted, unbalanced and nervous. His already low tolerance was starting to run very, very, very thin and he wanted to have some action, movement to break this stillness, peacefulness where nothing, simply nothing happened.
But deep down Albel knew this peace was a fake one or had the fight in front of Flad's house been his imagination?
Albel was restless and by accident he noticed Fayt walking across the strange, glassy town square - or what ever it was called here... He did not say a word just following the graceful stride of the younger one as he moved from person to person talking, questioning, inquiring. Albel realized that the other was gathering information about this place and probably also about this Gemity where they were supposed to travel next.
Albel turned his back to the blue-haired Earthling and continued his pacing around. His steps were not nervous or anything but he was painfully aware that his attire and weapons were not normal around here and they would attract attention sooner or later. Then he heard a familiar, soothing voice calling his name and greeting him.
Albel turned to face Fayt whom stood quite close to him. He opened his mouth before his brain could catch up with his irritation. "What is this place!?" he demanded to know and hissed full on disgust towards people around the town. "Everyone is walking around like zombies. I care not for this world. I'd just as soon put all these losers out of their misery..." Albel gritted his teeth trying to restrain his temper.
There was a flash of some emotion on Fayt's face but it was gone before Albel could label it. With a light laugh he washed the emotion and Albel's dark words away. "What are you saying!? Just relax", he ordered lightly then returned back to steadfast. "We stick out enough as it is", he pointed out matter-of-factly. "We can't afford any more problems!"
Albel waved his hand dismissingly. "Yeah, yeah, I know", he muttered. He was not stupid! "We're not allowed to cause attention to ourselves until we get our main target, right?" He knew very well the meaning of 'stealth'. "Don't worry, I haven't killed anyone yet..." Albel allowed his word fade away and showed his cruelest smirk to younger one. A little threat was always good.
Fayt smiled faintly. He seemed to be weary. "Fine, as long as you understand", he sighed and brushed with gentle fingers over Albel's right upper arm. He raised his face and locked his emerald-eyes into Albel's crimson ones. "You may not realize this, but I'm holding back, too, you know", Fayt confessed. "These people killed my father... All those people in the Milky Way..." He shook his head violently and his hands fisted. "Just thinking abut it is enough to drive me crazy! Argh!!!" He seemed to be in lot of pain.
Albel was little taken aback for Fayt's almost desperate, violent words and he nearly did not know how to react accordingly. "Yeah, I know. Sorry." The apology left his lips silently and the surprised expression on the Earthling's face proved that he was far from sure what he had just slipped from his mouth. Albel almost could not believe it himself either. So he changed the topic. "Heh, enough of this conversation. I hate talking about this kind of thing." The finality in his voice prevented the further questions, wonderings, affirmations.
Albel left Fayt standing alone where they had talked, but before he disappeared behind the nearest corner, he saw a beautiful, sad, yearning smile on Fayt's lips.
*****
Disturbing.
Yes, that was the right word for it.
Disturbing.
Every thing that Fayt did for Albel's sake, to Albel, with Albel was disturbing.
Every emotion that rose from Fayt, mirrored on Fayt's face because of Albel was disturbing for Albel.
For long time now Albel had wondered where lied Fayt's limits of tolerance for Albel's actions, deeds, words, personality. Why did the other see so much trouble to make him feel good, accepted, normal although it was painfully clear that things were not like that at all between them. Like now when the two of them were walking on Irisa Fields hand in hand like normal friends or like normal brothers. But what lied behind and beyond this so fake-like image... It was something so far from normal that it was hard to comprehend.
As Albel and Fayt walked, Albel reflected on things around him, inside him. It was not wrong to pursue strength. It was not wrong to seek wisdom. It was not wrong to strive for honor. Those things were not wrong... unless... Unless one went overboard. Unless one sold his or her soul for those things. Albel felt the hand holding his hand and strode forward with light, strong steps. He knew that he was reminiscing, dwelling in the past and he did nothing to it, letting himself float with the flow, not rejecting, not accepting, because Fayt's hand was his anchor, his stronghold in reality.
Inside the flood of his mind Albel just was. He looked into his past wishing nothing... seeking something...? Walking beside the emerald-eyed Earthling, passing the trees and spending moments and kilometers meant nothing and everything to Albel. And he wondered... Had he become strong? Had he become weak? Was he still the useless son of the great Glou Nox?
And so the drifting went on without hindrance of fighting back.
Because Albel really was not searching answers, trusting that Fayt's touch would keep him sane.
One thought changed into another, thoughts following each other without pattern or restrictions. Two conversations repeating over and over inside Albel's head. Both in Peterny and once again. Two conversations both so different yet so alike teaching Albel to be careful when dealing with this blue-haired young man walking with him even now. The ability to understand, see deeper than worded out and willingness to talk seriously when Fayt's opinion was truly wanted.
For long time now Albel had wondered where lied Fayt's limits of tolerance for Albel's actions, deeds, words, personality. Why did the other see so much trouble to make him feel good, accepted, normal although it was painfully clear that things were not like that at all between them. Like now when the two of them were walking on Irisa Fields hand in hand like normal friends or like normal brothers. But what lied behind and beyond this so fake-like image... It was something so far from normal that it was hard to comprehend.
Albel breathed deeply filling his lungs with fresh air and returned back from the imaginary world of chaotic thoughts chasing one then another around and around. His eyes and now clear mind fixed themselves back to reality that existed everywhere in this planet. There were times when voices of nature meant nothing but a noise that agitated him. But Fayt's breath never did that to him. It confirmed to Albel that his prey was not getting away, slipping into his death without his approval.
Somewhere along the way a violent military captain and an ordinary university student had learned to understand each other and though their opinions hardly ever agreed or met, they had found a way to deal with disagreements.
*****
How many times Fayt had thought of it before this, before confessing his thoughts to Albel?
Albel did not know, did not in truth care or did not want to know. It was enough to know that the blue-haired youngster had given a thought for Albel's motives. But even the information of this scale did not change that he was Albel the Wicked. He knew only one way of responding. So he turned his face away from the other male in the dark night and let out a bitter sound: "Heh..."
Fayt only sighed and shook his head. "And I have a feeling you won't just hurt people for no reason anymore", he confessed letting Albel's cold response slid.
Again and again the Leingod boy surprised Albel. He turned his burning, bloody eyes to the Earthling and stepped closer. He was so close to the other one that he could feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Albel could not help a sneer and stubbornness and feeling of wanting to be rejected surfaced. "But I could attack you right now, just like before", he pointed out, looming above the shorter male and smelling the unfamiliar fragrance rising from the blue hair.
Fayt lifted his face upwards to lock their eyes together and smiled reassuringly. "It's all right", he breathed silently and leaned closer to Albel. "I trust you", he confessed and slight pink tinted his cheeks when his fingers idly played on his sword, scabbard, side of his vest.
Albel could not stand what he thought he saw in those innocent eyes and withdrew. He bitterly reminded him that this person in front of him was still a *child* and his 19 years of life had been secured and protected. There was no way Fayt Leingod understood what his eyes were transmitting. Albel collected his bearings and took direction to returning back to the inn. "What a happy little world you live in", he bitterly, sarcastically, enviously stated. "Dream on, fool. Dream on", he whispered to Fayt, to himself and disappeared into the darkness that formed the night air surrounding, cloaking everything in the town.
*****
Albel looked from afar at the camp which the rest of the party had put up while waiting him and Fayt to return from their separated way. From here it seemed so peaceful and beautiful and Albel felt distant feeling of belonging, like he was supposed to be here from the beginning. Silently he wondered. //What is this place I belong to...?// It was hard for him to imagine staying with all of them, because they were not meant to live together always, till the end of their time in this world.
Albel felt a gentle tuck on his hand and turned to look around himself only to find Fayt raising him onto his arms and carrying towards the camp.
It was a fleeting thought that never really surfaced in Albel's mind. It was a thought of when he had stopped kicking back and accepted that he really could no longer rebel, fight against Fayt. When had he let go off it all and acknowledged that there was no longer need to defiance, that this was what he was and Fayt had learned to live with it?
TBC...
*****
Author's Note 2: I know that there are several dozens (and more) fictions about Albel and Fayt's Peterny Inn PA, but it is quite important (no matter the answer) when one is thinking of their relationship. I am still kind of irritated to myself that I decided to use it in this fiction... Oh well... Hopefully it does not destroy the impact of the earlier chapters...
The dialogs of Petarny Inn PA and Arkives PA are both taken and copied directly from the game and I have not created them. I have only written the actions and emotions Albel and Fayt go through during those Pas the way I view them and these actions are not from the actual game. As you know Peterny Inn PA with answer "Not really." gives Albel +5 affection points towards Fayt while Arkives PA with answer "As long as you understood" gives Albel +3 AP towards Fayt and Fayt +1 AP towards Albel.
// 9 pages in Word
// 6 376 words