Barflies

“I tell ya Roddy, I went to the wrong damn magic school…” Allerdyce lamented, staring across the bar. “Just look at that lucky bastard!” he motioned to the table where a young man sat. His face was bright, adorned with a smile as his eyes followed the sultry form of his succubus returning from the bar with two frosty mugs in hands. She returned his smile as she placed them on the table, kissing her master’s forehead and tussling his hair before taking her place at his side. She leaned into his chest as they drank, head tilted up so as to gaze into each other’s eyes. Allerdyce watched with envy as she twirled her master’s chin hair and giggled as they spoke.

“He gets a smoking hot sex demon and what do I get? I can turn someone into a fucking sheep… well… I guess that’s sexy if you’re a gnome into bestiality…”

“HEY!” Roderick shouted.

“Seriously Roddy, do you know what I would do if I had one of those things!? She wouldn’t be able to walk the next day!”

“I dunno Alley… She’s a sex demoness, wouldn’t she just steal your soul?”

Allerdyce scowled, “Must you ruin my fantasies with your cold logic?”

“Actually Alley, I heard Hayden and his succubus are a couple.” Roderick said, finishing his beer.

“Get the hell out of here! Hayden’s boning his succubus?!” Roderick nodded. “Kudos to that guy! He’s got guts! No common sense whatsoever, but he’s got guts.”

“Obviously they’re in love you twit.” Cosette mocked as she removed the empty mugs from the two. “It’s obvious to anyone with eyes.”

“It’s also obvious to anyone with eyes that you’re ugly.” He smirked. Cosette began bawling as she ran to Huckmet’s arms.

“Awww, pay no attention to him Cosy, Huck loves you!” he soothed. His eyes full of hate as he glared at Allerdyce, who merely blew him a kiss. Seconds later Allerdyce kneeled on his stool as he batted at an enraged Petey with his shoe, the worg barking furiously.

“Alley! We have to go! It’s almost time for the guild meeting!” Roderick exclaimed. Motioning towards Hayden, who rose from his chair.

“Time to go?” Hayden asked. Roderick nodded. “Ok, let me pay for the tab and use the bathroom, I’ll be right with you guys. Great place by the way! We’ll have to come here more often.” Hayden paid for the drinks and left a couple silver on the table for Cosette.

He had no sooner finished his business in the bathroom when a pair of hands circled around his member before he could place it back in his britches. Hot breath upon his neck and the sweet scent of cinnamon told him who it was.

“What’re you doing?” he gasped. “This is the men’s room!”

“Shhhh!” she soothed. “I doubt anyone would care master, just relax and let Mirona have some fun.” She said, gently biting his neck. Hayden braced himself against the wall as her hands worked him over. Her right hand stroked his growing erection as her left slipped under his shirt to run over his taunt abdomen. He could feel her grind herself on his backside, the heat of her womanhood burning through both their clothing to provide a gentle warmth. Ever so slowly she licked him from nape of the neck to earlobe, darting her tongue into his ear to tease him even more. His breath came in pants as she pumped him furiously, a bead of sweat running down his brow as his eyes began to close.

“Quickly master, we must finish this dalliance before the others begin to suspect something.” She urged. He grunted as she hefted his heavy testes in her hand, the other pumping him at an ever increasing pace, as if milking him. She aimed the tip of his cock at the commode and with a heavy grunt, he began to unload himself. Streamers of semen clouded the water as his orgasm rushed on, and after a few more drops were wrung from his body by the lithe demoness, he was spent. They shared a deep kiss as she gently tucked his waning member inside his pants, and with a playful swat on the rump, the two left the restroom. Wade’s knowing eyes followed them as they left, a smile curling on the corner of his lips.

The guild hall was as noisy as it was crowded; everyone who was anyone in the guild was there to represent their classes. It was rumored that selections were being made for class representatives. Allerdyce and Roderick could be found seated in their usual corner of the hall, completely ignoring anything the guild leaders were saying. Allerdyce was arguing with Roderick over which female guild member had the best “assets”, a conversation which had drawn the ire of a few female attendees within earshot.

”Would you two shut up?!” A rather buxom blonde whispered, her pierced brow furrowed in a frown framed with flowing locks. “Some of us are trying to pay attention to the meeting!”

“Relax Trina!” Allerdyce whispered. “I was going to vote for you as the guild’s ‘best pair of tits’!” he added with a wink.

The priestess’s face turned crimson and she trembled in rage. She reached back to slap Allerdyce with the fury of the gods, but the crafty mage blinked and she instead blasted poor Roderick, sending the little gnome tumbling across the hall. Her hand recoiled and covered her mouth as she ran over to the mass of overturned chairs and limbs that was Roderick.

“Oh Roddy I’m so sorry! It was an accident!” she gasped as she began casting a spell to heal his bumps and bruises.

“Owwwww…” he groaned. “Remind me not to get on your bad side!” he smiled, rubbing his cheek. “I’d hate to see how hard you hit when you mean to!” he chuckled. Trina blushed and helped the little gnome to his feet.

A few hours later Allerdyce could be found grumbling to Roderick. “They didn’t pick me! Can you believe that? I mean how could they pick that spineless jacktard Bryce over quite possibly the GREATEST mage to ever wield mana?!”

“I dunno Roddy, Bryce is a good mage! And you die an awful lot when we raid…” Roderick spoke, scratching his chin.

“Shut up you pint sized putz!”

“Don’t be bitter Ally! Besides! You don’t want all that responsibility do you?”

“Responsibility, no. The ability to boss people around and be a general dickhead, abusing my position of power? YES!”

“At least you’re honest about being a dickhead I suppose…” Roddy shrugged.

“This calls for alcohol, lots of it. And you know what that means?” Alley asked.

“I’d love to go with you Alley, but it’s mom’s birthday! I have to be there for dinner tonight!” Roddy bemoaned.

“Bah!” Allerdyce cried out. “Can SOMETHING go my way today?!” Roderick cringed at his outburst.

“Sorry Alley! I’d really like to go, but it’s my MOTHER!”

“S’ok my miniature moronic friend, I’m not mad at you… Tell your mom I said ‘happy birthday’, and tell your sister ‘Alley says hey’…” he grinned, Roderick just glared.

Allerdyce hung his cloak on the rack near the door and turned to find Bill standing in front of him with a look of fear on his face.

“Alley! I need your help!” he whispered.

“What’s the matter Bill? Accidentally get your dick caught in your zipper again?”

“No! This is serious! Normally I wouldn’t ask you anything but to hold still so I could kill you, but I’m out of options!”

“Ok...” Alley sighed. “Tell me what it is before you start crying.”

“See, Rob and I were supposed to go on a double date with a guildie and her girlfriend. I’ve been trying to get this girl alone for MONTHS, but she won’t go anywhere without her friend. Problem is her friend is an over protective den mother! Anyone makes a move on her friend and she shuts em down in seconds flat! So I got her to agree to come out if she could bring her friend. Rob was supposed to be my wingman, but the bastid didn’t show!”

“So, you’re basically asking me to take care of the cock blocker so you can make a move?”

“In a nutshell, yup.” Bill nodded. Allerdyce rubbed his balding head and groaned audibly, Bill clasped his hands together and pleaded with him.

“Ok, tell me about this girl you’re after, I want to know what the odds are you’re wasting my time.”

“She’s a troll, light blue skin, pink hair, wears it in a pony tail, she has a cute face. She’s also got a nice ass and a decent rack. Smokin’ hot if you catch my drift. I heard it through the grapevine that she’s got the hots for me in the worst way. She’s just afraid of coming across as a slut, so she’s playin’ the prude.”

“Sounds too good to be true to me, but I’m just a pessimistic asshole, or so I’m told. I guess it could be worse, I babysit her ugly troll friend, you get the hot one, and you owe me one down the road.” Allerdyce mused, scratching his chin.

“Not quite…” Bill grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“What do you mean ‘not quite’?!” Allerdyce frowned, eyes glaring a hole through Bill’s head.

“Well, her friend ain’t a troll…”

“Orc?”

“No.”

“Tauren?”

“No…”

“Bloodelf?!”

“You wish…”

“You son of a bitch….”

“I’m sorry Alley!”

“Not only am I playing wingman, you’re making me babysit her maggot infested, FORSAKEN friend?!”

“PLEAAAAAASE!” Bill begged, on his knees, hands held out in desperation to Allerdyce, eyes tearing up.

“fiiiiiiiiine” Allerdyce surrendered. “I hate to see a grown orc cry, especially when I didn’t make him start. But you owe me! I mean you owe me ‘Alley you saved my life!’ big!” he spoke, finger pointed at Bill’s face.

“Sure! I’ll let you polymorph me and take the flag next time you’re in WSG! I swear!”

“Not good enough…”

“I’ll let you frostbolt kite me for a whole day in Alterac Valley?”

“Better, but still missing something…”

“I’ll give you those nude pictures of Sylvanas I have from my last kegger?”

“That’s what I like to hear!”

Kaycee and Asphixia took their respective places across the table from Allerdyce and Bill. Kaycee and Bill immediately locked eyes, the troll blushing as she smiled as the orc took her hand gently in his and placed a kiss on it. Asphixia glared at him with her amber eyes.

“Hi, I’m Allerdyce, and you are?”

“Asphixia, are you to be my distraction so your friend here can try to get in Kaycee’s pants?”

“Afraid so, he corralled me at the door. I guess your original ‘date’ got cold feet.”

“Typical. Most men are scared of me.”

“I’m not.”

“Look, I’m sure you’re a great guy and all, but I’m not going to let some guy sleaze his way into getting my best friend into bed. She’s the only friend I have and I’m tired of seeing her cry because some meatbag used her and left her out to dry.”

“Wow! Brutal and to the point! I like that in a girl.”

“Just stop, you’re not going to charm me into letting my guard down. So stop.”

“No, I’m serious. I’m not a ‘nice guy’. If you think I’m just paying you lip service, dream on. To be truthful, I don’t give a rip if he gets her or not. And furthermore, he’s not a smooth, charming guy by any means. So, if your friend has a brain cell left functioning in her head, she’ll see him for what he really is pretty fast if he is indeed just after a piece of ass.”

Asphixia covered a grin and stifled her giggle. Taking a sip from her drink, she ran her fingers through her dirty blonde hair, tucking a stray bang behind her ear.

“I suppose you’re right… what was it again? Algerdyce?”

“Allerdyce, scholar, romantic, and mage extraordinaire.” He mock bowed.

“Oh?! You’re a mage too?!” she asked, eyes seeming to glow brighter with interest.

“Yeah, you’re a student of the arcane?” he asked.

“It seems we have something in common after all.” She said, taking another sip.

“Careful! You may grow to like me. And I’d hate to see someone so promising go down that dark path.”

The two talked for a while longer over several drinks. Both were smiling and laughing, oblivious to the troll and orc next to them. Kaycee’s dignity seemingly no longer a concern to Asphixia.

“It’s funny you mention that series of grimoires! I have the whole set in my bedroom!” She said.

“Oh wow! I thought they were destroyed! I’d give anything to see them!” he said, a look of shock on his face.

“Well, why not come over tonight? I don’t have anything planned for tonight.” She stated. “You’ll just have to pardon the mess; I haven’t had a chance to clean yet.”

“You serious? I’d love to!” he said. “Where do you live?”

“Undercity, I have a nice two bedroom place in the Mages Quarter.”

Allerdyce winced. “I’ve never been to Undercity, not sure where that is.”

“Ok, come home with me. You can stay in the guest room if you like. Would that be good for you?”

“Sure! Sounds great!” Allerdyce said, the two rising to get their things. Asphixia turned to her friend, a look of fear and uncertainty coming over her face as she saw Kaycee and Bill kissing each other.

“Allerdyce, I’m not sure if I should… I mean look at her…” she said, a hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

“She’s a grown woman; she’ll do what’s right. You can’t live her life for her.” Allerdyce said.

“I suppose you’re right. I guess I should worry more about my life for once.”

Allerdyce put on his cloak and took one last look at Bill and Kaycee at the table, his chin rising up a bit as the orc locked eyes with him. The orc nodded back, giving a smile and thumbs up as he saw Allerdyce leaving with Asphixia.

The journey to Undercity was short; Asphixia cast a spell of teleportation to the heart of the Mage’s Quarter. Both took time to tour the city as it was Allerdyce’s first visit. Asphixia knew all the best spots like the back of her hand. Allerdyce was surprised to find that she shared many similar interests with him from cuisine to entertainment. After one last boutique, they made their way to Asphixia’s apartment.

“Brace yourself!” she warned with a giggle. “It may be smelly; sadly I’ve become accustomed to foul odors, so I can’t really tell.” With a creak, the heavy oak door opened. Allerdyce sniffed the air, but shrugged at her as he found no offensive smells.

Asphixia’s place was hardly “messy”. In fact, quite the opposite. Though many piles of books could be found around her den, they were all organized alphabetically and were free of dust. Allerdyce could tell she had a great fondness for her collection of books and it showed, each volume was in perfect condition. He marveled as he roamed about the place, making note of certain books he found that struck his fancy. Asphixia stood in the doorway, hands clasped behind her, a large smile on her face as she watched someone share her passion before her very eyes.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked. “Water? Juice? I think I have some pinot noir in the cellar!”

“Oh, that sounds great. If you don’t mind?”

“No. No problem at all. Have a seat, I’ll bring you some.” She said, almost skipping into the kitchen. Allerdyce sunk into the cushions of the large sofa, his hands running along the material of the antique. A short time later Asphixia returned with two goblets in hand, a bucket of ice and bottle in the other. The cork was popped and the spirits were poured.

“Tell me about yourself Asphixia. I mean before you became a Forsaken.”

“I don’t remember much. It comes mostly in fragments, like parts of a dream.” She explained.

“Do you remember your name? I doubt your mother thought Asphixia was a nice name for a girl.”

“I remember the name Khelley. I don’t know if it’s mine, but I remember that name. They called me Asphixia when I broke free from the Scourge. I liked how it sounded, so I kept it.”

“Have you thought about going back to Khelley? It’s a nice name too.”

Asphixia flushed a little, her gaze averting from his. Setting the goblet down, she patted his thigh. “Let’s go find those grimoires! I almost forgot!” She said, changing the subject. The two made their way into her bedroom. She motioned for Allerdyce to take a seat on her bed as she made her way to the large book case across from it. Allerdyce reclined on the large mattress as he watched her survey the book laden shelves. Perched on the top step of her stool, she found the grimoires on the top shelf. She turned to move down the stool with books in tow, when her feet fumbled beneath her and she lost balance. A look of terror was on her face as she fell towards an equally stunned Allerdyce. Books flew through the air as the two collided on the bed. The two cleared the cobwebs in their heads and shared a giggle as they began to separate, it was then that both noticed Allerdyce’s left hand upon her bare right breast, which had fallen out of her dress in the commotion.

“It’s warm!” Allerdyce gasped as he kneaded the flesh in his hand, oblivious to the being whom it was attached to, until she coughed to get his attention.

“Of course it’s warm, what did you expect?” she asked with a giggle as his face flushed crimson.

“I just thought that you undead were cold like cadavers.” He stammered, attempting to explain as he began to remove his hand from her breast.

“Silly human.” She smiled, gripping his wrist and placing his hand back on her tit as she kissed him full on the mouth. His eyes going wide in shock as her tongue invaded his mouth. “We’re not corpses! We are the Forsaken, and we are unique!” She panted in his ear as he groped her naked flesh; she slid out of her dress and threw it to the floor as she moved to straddle him. Her look of lust slowly faded to one of concern as she tried to read the look Allerdyce had on his face as he gazed at her naked form.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, a sense of fear and apprehension in her voice. Allerdyce shook his head, snapping from the abyss of his thoughts.

“N-no! Nothing’s wrong. It’s just you’re so…” he seemed lost for the word.

“Ugly?” she asked, almost settled that was his answer. Her face turning from his as she began to move off of him.

“No.” He spoke, turning her head back to face him. “I was thinking ‘exotic’.” She smiled as he caressed her cheek.

“I’m sorry, it’s just hard to feel sexy when I look like I do, considering I used to be human like you. I’m just used to humans thinking of me as a monster to be killed.”

“Come on Khelley, what’s the first thing they teach you in Mage School? People are stupid.” He smiled. She returned it as she lowered her head down to kiss him again, her fingers interlocking with his pinning his arms above his head. Ravenously she licked, kissed, and sucked her way around his neck and chest. Like a woman possessed she tore his robe from him, exposing his torso to the night air, the lump of his erection straining against the fabric of his briefs. “Eaaaaasy woman!” he cautioned.

“Sorry sweetie, but it’s been a loooooong time since I’ve done this. I can’t promise I’ll be gentle.”

“Oh gods!” he gasped as her tongue trailed down over his navel, her hands pulling down on the waistband of his britches. As soon as the tip of his penis was exposed it was devoured by her hungry mouth. Allerdyce grabbed handfuls of linen as his cock was slowly swallowed into a delicious warmth. A grunt escaping him as her chin came to rest on his balls. Her throat muscles tightened around his length and milked it as she stared into his eyes. With a long drawn out slurp, she let it fall from her mouth, a smile coming over her.

“It’s nice getting a blowjob from someone who doesn’t have to breathe, isn’t it?” she asked, gripping his member and stuffing it back into her mouth. His moans were all the answer she needed as she suckled on his cock. “Would you mind returning the favor?” She asked hesitantly, unsure if he’d be willing to do so. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’ll understand.” She smiled as he motioned for her to go ahead. Swinging a leg over his chest, she backed her nether lips to his face, presenting Allerdyce with his first glimpse of Forsaken snatch. Her genitalia still bore a resemblance to her human roots, the nubbin of her engorged clit peeking from behind its hood, full pouty lips of her pussy were gleaming with moisture. However, the flesh had taken a light green hue, giving it an exotic look. A trickle of fluid was present at the maw of her vagina, a bead of her honey; it had a slight yellow tint. Tentatively Allerdyce tasted it, bracing for a foul flavor or at the worst, a poisonous concoction. He was stunned to find she tasted much like butterscotch. She cooed as he sampled her, head turned to gaze at his reaction. A sigh of relief as she saw his approval, followed by a deep moan as he pulled apart the lips of her sex to attack the source of her nectar. She began to buck back at him in an attempt to ride his tongue, the first male in so long to touch her there so intimately. With each trust back, a fresh gush of fluid sprung from her well onto his waiting tongue, her arms buckled, failing to support her weight as she lay her upper body down on his abdomen, trying to match the pleasure he was giving her lick for lick. It was she who gave out first. A drawn out cry signaling her crescendo as a thick streamer of cream squirted from her canal. The rope of her discharge coming to rest up his face and down the top of his head. Two more joined it as she convulsed, her bliss sounding almost painful as she cried out. Allerdyce lay there stunned as she covered him with her creamy girl cum, having never before seen such a thing happen.

“Oh….oh” she panted as she came down from heights unknown. “So good… so very very goooood.” She cooed, as she turned to face him. Her hand covering her mouth as she giggled at him. “I’m so sorry! Let me help you with that! I didn’t know my pussy could do that!” She apologized as she fetched a damp cloth from the bowl and pitcher on the end stand. Lovingly she cleaned her cream from the poor man’s stunned face. “Are you ok?” she asked, head cocked as she looked at him.

“Y-yeah!” He said, breaking out of the funk. “I’ve just never seen a woman cum like that before. I’m usually the one covering people in spunk; it’s a bit bizarre being on the receiving end of it.”

“Mmmmm, you have no idea how good that felt.” She spoke, a predatory look in her amber eyes as she trailed a finger down his lips. “I’ll just have to show you.” Leaning forward, she gripped his still firm member in her hand. Slowly she leaned back, a gasp escaping him as the head of his cock speared into her depths. “So warm”, he spoke, the lips of her sex parting to let his girth slide in to the hilt. Again she intertwined her fingers with his as she began to rise and fall on his cock. He watched transfixed as this “monster” rode him like a long lost lover. Her large, pendulous breasts swaying as she rocked and grinded on him, releasing his hands, she placed hers on his shoulder, her tempo increasing. Allerdyce reached his back to grab her supple buttocks, squeezing the meaty flesh in his hands as her derriere bounced on his lap, pulling the cheeks apart to tease the taut bud of her sphincter with his finger. She groaned as he pushed a digit in to the first knuckle, the ring of muscle clamping down on the invader to push it out. She “tsk”ed him and tapped his nose, faux chastising him for being naughty. She motioned for a change of position as fatigue began to set in, a sheen of sweat covering both. Allerdyce rolled her onto her back and lifted her buttocks up as he began to thrust into her from above, their eyes locked as they rutted. Noisily they kissed, tongues dancing as he held one of her breasts in his hand. Their breaths were ragged and they struggled to maintain control, both fighting the urge to cum for as long as possible, attempting to hold on so as to pleasure the other for a second or two longer.

“I’m g-gonna cum” he gasped.

“Yes! Cum human! Fill me with your hot seed!” she commanded as her own orgasm came crashing down again. Allerdyce grunting as he gripped her behind and hilted himself, his boiling hot cum spewing deep into her, mixing with the sweltering heat of her sex, creating an inferno both could feel in their loins. Allerdyce was frozen in place as his body offered up wave after wave of his semen for her ravenous sex, his mouth clamped on her nipple as she drained him dry. Finally he collapsed on top of her, head coming to rest on the pillow of her breasts, panting and gasping for air, his cock still twitching inside her.

“Most….definitely…..not….a…..corpse….” he struggled. She laughed, stroking his head as the two drifted off to sleep.

“Alley!” Bill cheered as the mage entered the bar. “I was about to send out a search party for you!” he chuckled. “Figured maybe Kaycee’s friend ate you for dinner!”

“Bill!” Allerdyce returned. “Your mom says ‘hi’! And no, Kaycee’s friend didn’t try to eat me. By the way, did you get anywhere with Kaycee?”

“Nah” Bill lamented. “She slapped me and said I got ‘fresh’ with her. Told me she wasn’t interested in a one night stand.”

“That’s too bad.” Allerdyce said. “Well, at least one of us got lucky and you still have Rob, I heard he bought you a bouquet to apologize for standing you up. You should take him back; I think you make a cute couple.”

“You bastid!” Bill chuckled.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink, and it’s Roddy’s turn to buy.”

“Yeah, sure, thanks again for doing that for me. I owe you one…. Wait did you say one of us got lucky?” Bill pondered as Allerdyce took his spot at the bar, startling Roderick with a slap to the back of the head, causing the gnome to spill beer on himself.