Challenges

Saber found himself on the edge of a desolate land, with winds buffeting hard against him, whipping hair and grit across his face. A figure in a golden mask stood before him, tall and formidable, speaking in a voice like thunder. “"Lord Nerevar Indoril, Hai Resdaynia! Long forgotten, forged anew! Three belied you, three betrayed you! One you betrayed was three times true! Lord Voryn Dagoth, Dagoth Ur, steadfast liegeman, faithful friend, bids you come and climb Red Mountain! Beneath Red Mountain, once again, break your bonds, shed cursed skin, and purge the n'wah from Morrowind!"
The wind blew stronger, forcing Saber to wince against the dirt and dirt that stung his face, and a rush of trepidation filled him. Dagoth Ur…!

Bolting upright, Saber blinked, looking around the tiny room he was in, and found himself disoriented to where he was. Nerves were raw, his body ready for flight or fight, and he was panting as if he’d been running for too long. A hand touched his shoulder, causing him to flinch and suck in a gasp of air.
“What is it?” Eiryn asked, sitting up beside him to rest her chin on his shoulder.
Unsettled by the dark feelings from the dream, Saber wiped sweat off his face. “Nothing, Just a bad dream.” He muttered, hoping to convince himself more than her.
“Did you want to talk about it?” The woman next to him murmured.
“No,” He replied a bit too harshly than he wanted. Softening the hard edge of his tone, he patted her hand on his arm. “Its just a dream.”
“Its still early yet, I think” Eiryn told him, “We could sleep in some more if you like.”
“We should get going.” Saber said, unable to shake the uneasy sense of trepidation off. He shifted to get out of bed to dress.
”I have to talk to Marayn about leaving, and to speak to Caius.” She said, obviously not looking forward to meeting with the spymaster. Saber however was. Something about the restrictions the spymaster placed on this wondrous woman raked the freedom-loving Dunmer’s sense of morals. More importantly, he abhorred the man who would dare try to keep her back from her full potential. There was no doubt in his mind, that Caius was more of the cause of Eiryn’s doubts than anything else. Having his own ghosts of his past to haunt him, Saber wanted to help Eiryn free herself of hers. Only, why did the spymaster have sort of control of her? Why did she let him manage those doubts?
They hurried to dress, and Saber was more than happy for his new scout to set the pace of their morning. Eiryn nearly transformed before him, taking command of what supplies they’d need, and what route they needed to take. It entailed a rather long ride on one of those wretched Stilt Striders. He finally had to admit his aversion to riding the ‘bugs’. She didn’t seem phased. Perhaps others had the same feeling of the main form of transportation. Eiryn was more than happy to oblige him and arrange for the mage’s guild to send them as far into the Ashlands as possible. This meant into Ald Ruhn guildhall, then they’d have to either take a strider or walk to Maar Gan.
Saber didn’t look pleased. “I will ride if I have to.” He told her, clearly not wishing to be anywhere near what he continued to refer as ‘the big bugs’.
Now came the part to confront Caius, and even with this Eiryn managed to take authority. Facing the Dark Elf she gave him a stern and direct stare. “I will handle this, understand?” She must have sensed how tremulous the situation was he had with the spymaster. She considered it might not be a better idea to simply meet him at the mage’s guild, but he insisted he wanted to offer his support and face the spymaster’s direct order he was refusing to follow. “The last thing I need is the two of you fighting.”
Nodding, Saber splayed hands to show he bore no weapons and would do as she said. Not to say he wouldn’t defend her if it came to it-
Knocking on the door of Caius’ house, the door opened to have them face a spymaster who focused his attention first on Eiryn where a smile began to spread, then suddenly disappeared at seeing the Dark Elf standing behind her.
“What are you doing here?” He glowered at the elf. “I told you your orders.” By his dark expression, Saber recognized he also wanted to know why he was with her.
Saber said nothing, letting Eiryn take charge of the situation because this was exactly what she needed. At first he wasn’t sure if she would. Her hesitation possibly stemmed from intimidation, but this was all the more reason she needed to confront the man.
“We need to talk.” She finally said.
Caius’ gaze narrowed dangerously to the Dark Elf. “Do we?” He snapped, stepping back to allow them to enter. Once inside, the door shut with a bit too much force, shaking the frame of the small house. “And what is it we need to talk about?”
Saber didn’t miss the tension the older man had, the muscles on edge in his shoulders and arms. The spymaster might simply assume that the Dunmer wished to provoke him, but that was no longer the case. He wanted Eiryn to face up to him, to come into her own. Men like Caius would never respect others unless they stuck up for themselves, but the dark stubborn set to his chin proved his inability to listen to reason. This was not going well-
“I’m told you’ve forbidden Saber to go near me.” Eiryn said, refusing to take a seat this time and instead, folding arms defensively and glared at Caius.
The older man was unimpressed, and sneered at the focus of their conversation. “And to not hire you as a scout.” Caius admitted, pointedly throwing dark glares at Saber again “Only because he has his own orders to concern himself with. And you should well remember, that I am the spymaster here, and I make the decisions.”
“Not when it concerns scouting jobs, you don’t.” She retorted, anger rising. “You order me to do certain duties, but when it comes to being a scout, that is my decision to make. You and I had an agreement, Caius. I have yet to see you fill your end of the bargain.”
Saber frowned, curious to what agreement that might be. From the livid anger from Caius, and the growing tension, the Dark Elf knew they were now discussing things not meant for him. Remaining silent, and very still, he remained near the door in case things got out of hand, certain to take Eiryn with him if he needed to.
“Our arrangement goes only so far-“ Caius’ tone grew hesitant, careful to not reveal too much. “Saber is not what he appears, Eiryn. No matter what he’s told you.”
“She knows.” Saber dared to speak, but he wanted the truth to out in the open now. If Eiryn was a Blade, what did it matter if she knew about the quest of the Neveravine? “She knows what the Emperor is planning.”
“Does she?” Snapped Caius, turning his wrath upon the true focus of his anger now. “Does she also know about your past? Your being in prison? Your training?”
The Dark Elf stiffened. Something about the man’s tone indicated more than the obvious, that he was not talking anything remotely having to do with Saber’s past few years. “She knows I’m a thief, if that if that is your meaning-“
“No, it’s not my meaning.” The man snapped. His lips twitched into a smug and knowing smile. “Did you share with her of your past? Your life in the Imperial City? Does she know of the years before becoming a thief?”
Saber frowned, a dawning realization spread through him that perhaps Caius knew more than he gave him credit for. “What do you mean?”
“Does she know about Nekros?”
Without thinking, Saber found his hand on the hilt of one of the daggers on the harness across his chest, but stopped himself before he drew the blade out. Unfortunately, both Eiryn and Caius had seen the motion, and the odd mix of expression indicated he’d made an error in judgment. He was no longer in the Imperial city, but in a foreign land. What’s more, his movement was only done by instinct, showing a side of himself he hadn’t wanted anyone to see.
Caius moved fast for an old man, rushed up to shove Saber hard against a wall nearly knocking his breath from him. “Do it.” He snarled, his faces inches from the Dunmer who stared in horror at the anger and knowledge that the spymaster knew more about him than anyone else alive. “What is it, Feryl? Lost the nerve? Isn’t that what assassins do when someone discover as to who they are? To kill them?”
“Saber?” Eiryn’s voice broke the tension. “What is he talking about?”
Now the focus of her attention, Saber remained pinned to the wall, releasing his grip on the dagger’s hilt. “That was a long time ago, Caius. And I was never an assassin-”
Caius feigned surprise. “No? You were never trained by Nekros?”
Eiryn stepped closer, her face taut with confusion. “Who is Nekros?”
“His master.” The spymaster answered, relaxing his hold on the elf only slightly. “Shall I tell her the story, or should you?”
“You seem to think you know the story well enough.” Glared Saber. He wanted to know what Caius knew. He hadn’t expected anyone ever finding out, certainly not while he was here in Morrowind. The Dunmer realized he had underestimated Caius and his resources.
“Nekros was one of the most vicious, most cruel assassins in all of Cyrodil.” Caius stepped away, enjoying the dark fury on Saber’s face that he knew so much about him. “How old were you then, when he took you as an apprentice? Five, maybe six?”
“Close enough.” Saber answered, the eyes darkened as he let the man continue.
“So that makes it six years of training to kill, raised on death and pain like mother’s milk, wouldn’t you say?” Caius didn’t turn his back, wondering why Saber hadn’t attacked them both yet. He was oddly silent, staring back, motionless. “And then Nekros is found floating in the river, his throat slit from ear to ear. How old were then?”
Without blinking, Saber replied. “Twelve…or so.”
“Twelve years old…” Caius nodded slowly. “Old enough to take up another guild if you needed to. Who would guess you already trained by that age, eh?”
Eiryn looked horrified. “And you killed Nekros?” And was only a child?
Saber remained silent, knowing all to clearly how it appeared. Even if he were to tell her his side, he doubted she’d understand. Caius however, continued with his damning words. “Nothing was proven. In fact, a few individuals claimed to have done it, but I have my own suspicions. I had very reliable sources at the time.”
“Saber?” Eiryn asked, her voice catching in her throat.
Saber’s only movement was his red eyes shifting from Caius to Eiryn. “I was only twelve.” He said softly. “How was I to kill a master assassin?”
“You were trained for it.” Caius pointed out. “Using the very methods Nekros might use. I’m guessing you poisoned him first?”
Refusing to even go there, Saber narrowed eyes. “I could hardly carry the body to dump it in the river now could I?” Saber countered. “Nekros was a big man.”
“So you’re saying you didn’t kill him?” Caius asked, but he already knew the answer to that.
“You don’t know everything.” Saber told him, his tone thick. “Only what your so called sources told you.”
“Enlighten me.” Caius sneered, stepped back towards Eiryn. “Enlighten us both.”
So this was his wild card? Saber thought darkly, furious at the spymaster and nursing thoughts of punching his self-righteous look off the old man’s face. This must be why he’d remained so indifferent, why the man had treated him with distain all this time, because of stories he’d heard of a time that was so long ago, in another land, in another lifetime the Dark Elf had hoped to leave behind…
“I don’t see how it matters.” Saber finally said, turning his attention to Eiryn. “I have a long journey ahead of me, and you have training to complete at the mage’s guild.” Without another word, Saber grabbed his pack in one fluid motion and simply left the small room, slamming the door behind him.
Eiryn was still in shock, unable to comprehend what just happened. The Dunmer was clear in his not wanting her go with him now, and it infuriated her to no end. Glaring at her father, she turned her wrath on him. “You knew this all this time?”
“And you knew of his duty as well?” He retorted, just as angry. “I underestimated that you could keep things from me.”
Almost shaking in anger, she took in a deep breath to calm herself. “You wanted to protect me from him?” she said in a calmer voice. “Because you knew of his past?”
“And his future, Eiryn.” Her father settled down, taking a seat on the edge of his tiny cot. “Think about it, what he’s to accomplish. If he fails he dies… if he succeeds…?”
If he succeeds, becomes the Incarnate…what then? Would he rule Morrowind? But why would they want him to take on this course unless they thought perhaps he was the promised one? Either outcome there was no future for them. “That doesn’t change the fact that you had no right-“
”It is my right!” Her father snapped, suddenly angry again. “I’m your father! I’m the master in the guild you are a member of! I do what I have to do to protect the members…and my daughter from what I deem as too dangerous. Why do you think you’re being trained with the mages? To help you later, to protect you!”
Moving for the door, she stopped only when her hand touched the latch. “Where are you going?” Her father demanded.
“To the Urshilaku camp.” She glared back at him. “Forbid all you want, but I know if he is to succeed, he’ll need help. And you’re wrong about him.”
“You’ve only known him for a few days, Eiryn.” Caius reminded her.
“I know him more than you think I do.” She said, knowing he’d catch her meaning. “And even if you’re right, that doesn’t change the fact, he’ll still need help.”
“If you leave,” Caius dared her, “I will throw you out of the Blades.”
Stiffening at his threat, she lifted her chin. “I will save you the trouble. I quit.” And shut the door behind her.

****************************
Saber felt as though a murky cloud had darkened his world. Even though the day was remarkably sunny and bright, he saw nothing of it as he strode back towards the mages guild to leave for Ald Ruhn. Damn Caius, and damn the Emperor! Oblivion take them all and their plots and schemes!
How did the old man find out so much? Sources, he mentioned. Most likely his wretched spies! They were everywhere in the Empire, like rats. You see one, you know several hundred were hidden in the walls. How much did they think they knew of Nekros? Yes, he was cruel…but at least his victims got respite from his ruthless actions when they died. His apprentice did not have such dispensation.
Every day, and every night there was something new he had to tolerate, a new humiliation, or a new preamble to pain. Nekros enjoyed torture, enjoyed what pain did to people. A young boy who had nowhere to go, and was too terrified to dare leave, learned to endure what he could, until he could endure no longer.
Raw anger and fears he’d kept hidden for so long threatened to engulf him, but with the control he mastered for the past decades of his life, he managed to fight his demons back under control. He’d wanted to leave his past in Cyrodil, had very nearly accomplished driving memories so far within he could almost forget. Then something would cause him to remember, and everything flooded back to engulf him.
Nekros enjoyed inflicted pain and torment, and was Caius so damned different? He was thoroughly enjoying himself revealing so much to Eiryn, knowing she’d never want to see him again! Saber growled in his throat, almost shoving a civilian out of his way as he turned the corner near the market bazaar. The look Eiryn had on her face was evident of her thoughts. Horrified…or just horror, revolted that he could murder someone at a young age.
Self-loathing swept over him, but so often Saber learned to simply ride the wave until he forced such doubts away. He was a thief now, and damned good thief! Not only had he never joined any of the assassin guilds, he had only killed the one man in cold blood, and that one deserved it. A twinge of guilt rose up, battling with his justifying the killing. And that’s what it was. Not murder, no matter what Caius might think! It was a justified execution.
Here in Morrowind, the Morag Tong was the prominent assassin guild, and was even legal. Writs of execution were handed out to assassins as a authorized means for the Houses to war against each other. And that is how Saber considered Nekros’ death, nothing more than a writ of execution.
He deserved it…
Memories flooded his thoughts, of Nekros lying on the floor writhing and choking from the poison slipped into his drink. It was so obviously simple, too simple, that the master assassin would never even suspect. Feryl had poisoned the wine, had even drank from the same cup. By then, he’d already developed a resistance to poison, without Nekros even knowing. When the assassin found breathing growing difficult, and his limbs began to twitch spasmodically, he looked at horror at the elfling backing away to a corner of the room.
Feryl remained huddled in the corner; still nursing bruises and fresh wounds from his master, realizing too late he’d not given the monster enough of the poison for a quick death. Nekros was a big man, a large Imperial with thick fists and heavy boots. The very boots Feryl had been kicked with, the very fists that had struck the boy too often.
Nekros knew who poisoned him, but realized it too late. Then, all he could do was squirm and gasp on the floor as the poison slowly worked through his system.
“Kill you… ungrateful wretch-“ Nekros choked, with spittle and blood flowing from his mouth. It seemed hours the man suffered, and all the time the boy stared in horrible fascination, praying and wanting the man to finally expire.
When the body twitched towards him, the boy panicked. Moving from his dark corner that wouldn’t keep him safe; Feryl snatched a knife off the kitchen table. It was Nekros’ blade, one he usually kept well hidden in a boot or gauntlet, and had even used it on Feryl to terrorize him. Desperate, the boy pounced on the dying man, and grabbed a fistful of hair. This was something Nekros had so often done with him, sprawling the boy on the floor to set a cold bite of steel against his throat, pulling the head back to expose the vulnerable throat.
Except instead of poison, Feryl had been beaten senseless, left to suffer the indignities the man had done to him too often. Now taking control, the elf child gritted teeth. Letting his own disgust and hate steady his nerve, the boy slipped the dagger’s edge across his throat.
“Pity is more than you deserve...” He whispered, and knew he had to end this man’s misery. But was it out of pity? Was killing him outright truly to end Nekros’ suffering or was it raw fear that the man might not die before he tried to kill him later?
When the body finally stopped moving, and blood pooled around his face on the floor, Feryl scrambled back until his back hit the door behind him. I did it….he’s dead…Panic, fear, anger, and an odd sensation of finality gave him the strength to drag the body to the river and leave him for the fish to consume.
Standing on the docks, the boy felt the sea spray whip hair across his face, felt the blood that covered him cause his tattered shirt to cling to his too-thin frame, and for the first time in his life he knew he was free-

**********************
“Saber?” A voice called from behind, pulling him from his reverie and dark thoughts. Not even turning, Saber knew who pursued him. He didn’t answer, continuing to head towards the guildhall. Sickened by the memories quickly fading, he didn’t want Eiryn to see him like this, so exposed emotionally-
“Saber wait up!”
Not stopping, he heard her running, and finally a tug of his sleeve to bring a halt to his rapid gait. He spun, glaring back at her, angry and panicked that his life had been revealed to her. “Get away from me!” He heard himself snarl, and immediately regretted it. Her face was struck with a look of hurt, maybe even fear, and she drew back in shock. He lowered his voice, “Go home, Eiryn.” He told her, and turned to continue his way to the marketplace.
“So I’m fired?” her voice cut through the murmur of the crowds around him, slicing into his thoughts. Incredulous, he stopped, slowly turned to look back at her. She still wants to come with me?
“What?”
“Am I fired?” The young Breton had hands on hips, her hazel eyes unblinking as they bore into his. He didn’t respond, not knowing what to tell her. He’d assumed she’d not want to have anything to do with him after learning the truth. Anger flashed, and she strode up to give him a shove. “All bad and bold when I had to face Caius, but you ran like a timid Guar. And what? I don’t deserve an explanation after all that? You just drop me when things get a little rough for you?”
Stunned at her reaction, he found the woman gave another angry shove.
“Stupid N’wah!” She shouted, letting her anger fuel her words. “Had your fun, so its time for you to go? Is that it?”
A small fist swung up to his face, and immediately he caught it, twisted it back behind her and held her against him. “It’s not like that, and you know it!” He growled back. People began to stare at them, and he tugged her into an alley beside the guildhall for privacy. She struggled, trying to kick but was soon pressed up against the adobe wall, and held tight as she continued to vent her wrath.
“Let go of me!” She snarled, trying to kick him again.
“If I do, you’ll hit me.” He reasoned, surprised by this flare of temper he hadn’t seen yet. It was nice to know she had one, just as long as the fury was directed to anyone else but him. “Now settle down, dammit-“
A foot slammed down onto his, and he hissed from the explosion of pain in the arch of his foot. Hopping back, he avoided a kick. “Stubborn-“ He started to say, but her wrist was free, and shot up to punch him in the mouth.
Releasing the woman, he backed up and hoped she didn’t pursue. To his relief she only stayed against the wall, seething hate at him. “I am going to the Urshilaku camp if you like it or not.”
“Why?” He demanded, touching his mouth and finding she’d split his lip. “You heard Caius-“
“To the farthest reaches of Oblivion with Caius!” She shouted making him tense for another assault. Thankfully she only stood to shake in her anger. “He doesn’t have any say over me, and neither do you.”
“And you still want to go with me, despite the dangers…or what I’ve done?” He was stunned.
She moved forward, and he took an involuntary step back until he realized he was backing off a woman smaller than he was. This time, the shove was not as hard, but had enough force to push him up against the opposite wall in the narrow ally. Eiryn’s face was pained, the eyes too moist and blinking against emotions she was trying very hard to control.
“Did you kill Nekros?” She stared deeply into his eyes, searching his face as if trying to find the truth from his reaction to her query. “And I want the truth.”
He hesitated, suddenly feeling very hardened and distant. “And if I did?”
It was his answer, a backhanded admission to the crime, causing her to draw back a bit.
“How? You were only just a child?”
“I was never a child!” Saber spat, his voice broken and hoarse. “Nekros made sure of that. Caius was correct in his reports of Nekros’ cruelty, but you have no idea-“ Something caught in his throat, threatened to strangle him to silence. Guilt mixed with anger, and Saber had no idea to where this fury was even directed to; to Nekros? To Caius? To himself? Coughing hard, he swallowed, straightened. “I won’t make excuses. You can’t possibly know…”
Her hand went up, touched his lips. “No more.” She whispered, tears finally spilling over her eyes. Her words paused, her throat working as she swallowed against something. Finally she spoke. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Saber saw the sympathy mixed in sorrow, and was nearly overwhelmed. Only a few others ever knew of what happened to Nekros, the truth of it, and hadn’t judged him for it. “I did what I had to do-“ He said, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper, “to survive…”
“I believe you.” Eiryn told him. Her fingers drew back and moved gently down his cheek. It was a gesture that made his chest clench painfully. He felt so sure she’d loathe him when she’d discovered the truth…well not all of it, but what she did know made most people recoil in horror. It was frightening, this compassion, this understanding that he was so certain that no one would extend to him. She would never know everything, he’d never speak the words…ever, but somehow he sensed with her, Eiryn didn’t care. What’s more, she didn’t see him as fiend for it.
“Am I still fired?” She murmured, drawing back slightly. “Because I’m out of a job, you know.”
Saber found himself blinking too much. “What?”
Her expression turned sheepish, and with a casual swipe of her fingers to move hair out of her eyes, she grinned. “I told Caius I quit.”
“You didn’t…”
“I did.”
“How’d he take that news?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, I told him and left.”
Saber felt his face tighten, not sure to smile or frown. She did it. She found her strength in finally telling the old man off. “So I suppose you could use the work?”
Her grin widened. “Only if it pays well.”
Saber sighed, shaking off the darkness of their previous conversation. “Well…” He said, “I suppose I’m stuck with you then.”
“Seems like it.” She said, taking the lead to head towards the guildhall. It was an awkward method to letting him know they were to move beyond this truth of his past. “Are you coming or not?”
Swallowing hard, he shook off the dark cloud of memories and forced an odd smile. “Lead on.” He said, wondering what he ever did to deserve this woman in his life?