Monster Hunter: Whore

You meant what you said. Kulu-Ya-Ku are easy. You strap an enormous greatsword to your back, capable of felling such a weak monster in just a few blows. Ready to prove your worth, you leave the camp-

“Wait!” Liz shouts. You stop and turn, looking back at her expectantly.

“Take this with you. Kulu-Ya-Ku are known to arm themselves with sturdy boulders when threatened. This Flash Pod will make it drop the rock immediately, leaving it vulnerable.”

“Uh… thanks. I don’t know how worried I am about a chicken carrying a rock, but thanks.”

Liz sends you off with the advice that Kulu-Ya-Ku love eating eggs. Knowing this, it doesn’t take long to find your prey. Sure enough, it’s right in another monster’s nest. You swing your sword back and charge it…

Charge it…

You keep charging…

There! You bring the full weight of your swing down! Directly against the dry desert ground. The damned thing moved at the last second… It quickly punishes you by slashing with both talons, knocking you flat on your back. Damn it. You get to your feet as quickly as you can and roll away. You were a split second away from the monster leaping directly on top of you. Instead, you stagger away, your balance shaken from the impact.

Okay, you walked away from that a little worse off, but you’re on your feet now. With your sword drawn, you attentively wait for an opening. The bird advances on you, and you quickly dodge- This sword is heavy…! You can’t dodge at all with it drawn! The monster’s beak collides with you before you can dodge, knocking you down again.

As quickly as you can, you stand up and sheath your sword on your back. You’re far less maneuverable with it than you expected. The trick will be to lure the chicken into attacking so that you have enough of an opening to retaliate. Which turns out to be easy. Once you have enough distance, you see it bend its legs, the telltale sign that it’s about to leap on you. Dodging preemptively gives you plenty of time to draw your sword and begin charging. There, it’s positioned perfectly to be hit by your attack. Here it goes! …Wait. What’s it doing?

Just as you’re about to deliver a massive overhead swing, the Kulu-Ya-Ku pulls a boulder out of the ground. Your sword hits it dead-on, then flies out of your hands to land behind you. Damn it! Your sword should have been able to slice right through such a tiny rock. What the hell happened?

Not one to fight unarmed, you turn around to retrieve your sword. Unfortunately, this turns out to be fatal. The Kulu-Ya-Ku charges after you and savagely smashes the boulder into the back of your head, bringing an end to the fight. You should have used the Flash Pod…