At the Edge of Heaven

Note: The shuttle interview sequence in game did not match the emotional states of the characters as being presented here. I tweaked that sequence to fit these characters, but tried to maintain the spirit of the game.

* * *

“What the hell are you doing?” Jacob’s eyes were wide as he ran over and stood over the dead Wilson.

“My job.” Miranda responded, her voice terse with the anger roiling within her. “Wilson betrayed us all.” She ignored the rest of Jacob’s fleeting panic and calmly turned her gaze towards the pistol pointed at her head. Her breath quickened and her mouth went dry for the briefest moments as she gazed directly into Shepard’s eyes. She silently cursed the foolish reaction and quickly quelled the rising emotions. It wasn’t like her. She didn’t react this way… ever.

“You should have taken him alive. See what he knew.” Shepard’s voice was calm and sure, his pistol still levelled at her head. Again her emotions bubbled up briefly and again Miranda silently cursed herself. It was getting ridiculous. She was not a silly girl with a crush! She just wasn’t!

“Too risky.” Despite the calm words, Miranda struggled to quash the irritating foolishness swirling within. Luckily for her, her face never betrayed her inner frustration. “I’ve put too much time and effort bringing you back to life to let you get killed now.”

“You really think Wilson’s capable of that?” Jacob turned from Wilson and looked at Miranda. She simply looked back for a second before dropping her gaze to the dead traitor at their feet.

“Not anymore.” She replied calmly.

“Even if you’re sure,” Shepard still kept his pistol aimed at her, his voice clearly ringing with disapproval “did he deserve that welcome?”

“He sabotaged the security systems, killed my staff, and would have killed us.” She managed to keep her irritation towards Shepard’s questioning and his tone at bay. It didn't help that she had to squash the twittering lightness in her heart when she looked into sure and steady gaze.

“You sure about that Miranda? We’ve known Wilson for years.” Jacob chimed in. “What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m never wrong.” Her anger flared to life and she struggled to keep it from erupting. She had saved his life, all their lives. And they were both questioning her. Her voice remained calm, though her eyes flashed as she looked at Jacob. “I thought you’d have learned that by now, Jacob.” The tense standoff continued, Shepard’s pistol holding steady as Miranda glared at Jacob. After several long moments, Shepard finally sighed.

“If you say so.” Shepard straightened up and holstered his pistol. Miranda calmly returned her gaze to him. He calmly gazed back. “What’s our next step?”

“We get on the shuttle and go.” Her irritation and anger faded a bit under his gaze. “My boss wants to speak to you.”

“You mean the Illusive Man?” Shepard’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I know who you work for.”

“Ah, Jacob.” Miranda shook her head and looked back to Jacob. “I should’ve known your conscience would get the better of you.”

“Lying to the commander isn’t the way to get him to join our cause.” Jacob replied.

“Well, since we’re getting everything out in the open,” Miranda looked back to Shepard “is there anything else you want to ask before we go, Commander?”

Shepard stared at her. For long moments he said nothing. He simply stared right into her eyes. She could see the questions bursting to come out, the distrust, the intense hatred. He hated her. Her chest tightened at the revelation. He hated her. He didn’t even know her. She silently cursed herself again. What did she care? He didn’t know her and she didn’t know him. He was simply her project, her successful project. As Miranda quelled her rising emotions once more, Shepard only stared. Then something in his eyes flashed and the questions were gone.

“I’ve had enough of this station to last a lifetime.” He shook his head, his voice weighted and tired.

“Or two in your case. Come on.” Miranda turned towards the shuttle, puzzled by the weariness in his voice.

* * *

He stared at her as she turned and walked towards the shuttle. He had so many questions, but he just couldn’t ask them. He was alive. It wasn’t hell, it wasn’t a dream. He was alive. And they had brought him back. He seethed at that revelation. The bastards that had killed nearly his entire troop at Akuze, murdered Admiral Kahoku, and almost unleashed a plague of Rachni on the galaxy… Cerberus had brought him back. He hated that truth.

He followed Miranda to the shuttle, pausing briefly to gaze into her eyes one last time, and then pulled himself into the darkened pod. He wanted to ask her so many questions, but she was Cerberus. He didn’t want to hear her answers. He wouldn’t like most of them and the rest he couldn’t trust. With a tired sigh, Shepard slid into the seat, leaned back, and turned his gaze towards the window. He was alive and it gnawed at him. He was supposed to be dead.

His memory haunted him. Everything he lost returned and he lost himself in the haze. He barely noticed as the two Cerberus agents climbed aboard, sat opposite of him, and the shuttle lurched into flight. He had so many questions, but none of them really mattered. He was still alive, his troop was wasn’t. He was still alive, Kahoku was still dead. He was still alive and she wasn’t. Cerberus had only brought him back. It hurt.

He hoped and he prayed. It couldn’t be real. It had to be some sick dream, it had to be. So he sat and stared out the window... at nothing. Ash’s face was the only thing he saw as the metal interior of the station gave away to the infinite blackness of space. He hated being alive.

* * *

She stared at Shepard as he mutely gazed out the window. He hadn’t spoken since they boarded the shuttle. He had simply sat down and looked out at the blackness of space. His face was devoid of expression, of emotion. She began to wonder if the project had been a success. She decided to finally press the issue.

“Before you meet with the Illusive Man, we need to ask a few questions to evaluate your condition.” She broke the silence. Shepard remained still, gazing out the window.

“Come on, Miranda. More tests?” Jacob sighed with incredulity. “Shepard took down those mechs without any trouble. That has to be good enough.”

“It’s been two years since the attack. The Illusive Man needs to know that Shepard’s personality and memories are intact.” She kept a hold at the rising irritation at being questioned again. She looked at Jacob, her mouth drawn in a tight, stern line before speaking. “Ask the questions.”

“Did you say two years?” Shepard’s surprised voice shook Miranda from her irritated glare. She looked back over to find Shepard sitting forward and staring at her and Jacob. “I’ve been gone that long?”

“Two years and twelve days.” Jacob quickly responded. “And you were on an operating table for most of it.”

Shepard shook his head at the newest revelation and sat back and ran his hand over his face. Miranda watched for a few moments, letting Shepard absorb the shocking news. Once he seemed to calm down, Miranda leaned forward.

“The sooner we start, the sooner we can be done.” She calmly stated. Shepard merely returned her gaze for a second before nodding. She noticed the spark returning to his eyes. “Start with personal history.”

With the flick of his flingers, Jacob activated his omni-tool and pulled up Shepard’s information. Quickly glancing through it he began.

“It says here that you served on Akuze.” Jacob hissed under his breath as he read the reports. He didn’t notice Miranda’s prodding elbow. “That must have been rough.”

Miranda groaned.

“Rough.” Shepard grunted and shook his head. Through clenched teeth he hoarsely answered. “Watching as your friends dissolve in steaming chunks while others scream as they are pulled under… yeah, that’s just rough.” He sneered then ground his teeth together and inhaled deeply. “Let’s not forget to mention that it was you people that fed my crew to that Thrasher Maw. And you ask if it was rough?!” Shepard glared at the two agents, the muscles in his jaw rippling as he continued to grind his teeth.

Jacob only blinked in response, surprised at the vehemence of Shepard’s answer. Miranda’s mind quickly scrambled to recover the situation, flitting through her memories of Shepard’s file. Leave it to Jacob to pick something explosive to ask. At least she wasn’t worried about Shepard as much given the reaction he had exhibited, but it was still a stupid question to ask at the time. Still, despite the reassuring reaction, she had to make sure. So she tried one last question.

“During your attempts to stop Saren, you took part in a mission on Virmire deal …” Miranda began to ask about the Krogan threat and the revelations on the indoctrination and Sovereign, but she never got a chance to finish.

“We are not going to talk about Virmire.” Shepard punched the seat and Miranda jumped slightly. His eyes were burning fiercely and he was breathing heavily. He glared at her. “Do you understand?” the threat rang clearly in the shuttle and Miranda only nodded once.

Shepard grunted one last time before violently throwing himself back. He crossed his arms over his chest, gave one last burning glance at her, and turned his gaze back to the stars. Miranda stared at Shepard, surprised at his reaction. She gave one quick glance to Jacob, but he only shrugged in response. So she quickly raised her arm, turned on her omni-tool, pulled up the file on that mission, and reread it. He had infiltrated the base, discovered the second beacon, set the bomb, and... he had left behind one of his crew to man the bomb. Ashley Williams had died that day. She remembered the fading whisper and she winced at her own stupidity as the pieces fell together. She had berated Jacob for his poor choice in a question, but she had stumbled onto a far worse memory. He had loved her and she was dead. She looked back to Shepard and sighed as tears glinted in his eyes. Her heart lurched. With irritation, at both her girlish reactions and her own stupidity, she silently cursed herself yet again.