Organization 101

AN: Thanks for the reviews, kupos. Inspires me to update faster. ;D I fully enjoyed writing this chapter.

Chapter Summary: Axel goes to jail. Demyx and Roxas bond. Confessions of sorts. Coco Puffs. NO PORN. I'll make for it, promise. ;D


--------------------------------------------------------------------
Axel’s POV


“It’s fucking freezing! At this rate, I’ll be the fucking iceberg that sunk the Titanic!” I shivered, cursing our leader for his stupid patrol duties.

The blonde haired boy beside me rolled his eyes, muttering, “Pathetic.”

“I swear if I wasn’t so fucking cold, I would—“

I gasped when he pushed me roughly against the ground, pinning my arms above my head as he straddled me, leaning in closely, “Do you ever shut up? Why else did you think I wanted to patrol with you?”

“I’m a fun, loving, maniac?” I responded.

“No, because I want you to fuck me into oblivion,” he stated firmly, his blue eyes sparkling. “I’m tired of playing games, Axel, you gonna fuck me or what?”

I huffed when he grinded his lower half against mine. Please let this real…

“Right now? In the middle of the alley? Are you that much of a whore, Roxs?” I teased, allowing my hands to reach under his cloak, delighted to feel his lithe frame shiver under my ministrations.

He looked at me with the hottest, intense look I have ever seen on him. And it turned me on greatly. I reached up and gripped his spiky blonde hair tightly, sealing our lips together in a explosive kiss, filled with bits and nipping and hard pressing kisses that I hoped would show up the next day to show everybody that I ravished the youngest member and he was off limits to everybody else.

“Fuck…” the boy above me moaned when I focused on a particular spot on his neck that drove him crazy.

“Gladly,” I chuckled, switching positions, easily maneuvering him to where I wanted him, my hands greedily unzipping his cloak to reveal his jeans and tee shirt.

“Riku…” he moaned when I finally managed to get my hand inside his pants.

WHAT THE FUCK???????????

I landed on the hard floor with a loud thud, waking the slumbering teen beside me in the process.

"Wha--?" Roxas sat up, his hair tousled, a bleary-eyed look on him. "Why are you on the floor?"

I was too flabbergasted to respond.

I tensely crawled back into the twin size bed, forcing Roxas closer to the wall. Who the fuck was Riku? And why was Roxas moaning his name and not mine? In my own fucking wet dream?

"Axel?"

"Mmm?"

"You're squishing me."

"I'm horny."

"Use your hand."

"I rather have yours."

Silence.

Snore. The kid slept like a fucking log, I swear.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Axel!" hollered the sitar player from outside as I contemplated over my notes of the assassination of Xemnas.

I rolled my eyes, opening the window of this pathetic gummi ship that is literally being held together by glue and tape and stuck my head out, trying to find the crazy sitar player.

"What? I'm busy! Making plans of Mass Destruction! And pretty soon, if you don't leave me the fuck alone--You will be my first experiment!" I snapped, suddenly wishing for my pathetic Nobody life to end here. On this ship, stuck in the worst hell of all hells.

BARK.

What the hell?????

Soon the mutt bounced up, his tongue practically devouring me. EEEK.

"I DO NOT LIKE DOGS!" I exclaimed, slamming the window shut, finding my cloak, zipping it and going outside where Roxas was currently playing fetch with the dog.

"He kept on following Roxie," Demyx tried to explain, the note of excitement hard to miss in his voice. "It's Pluto!"

Who the fuck would name their dog that?

"Mmm," I pondered, scratching my hair in nervousness, pulling the dog roughly by the collar, earning a growl from the dog.

Mickey Mouse. Figures. Only he would give an animal such a fucked up name.

"Mmm, well who wants dog for dinner?"

Multiple gasps.

"I can't believe you just said that," said Roxas, glaring.

"Well, get rid of it," I dismissed, wondering why I had to be the only sane one. "Mickey will probably want this rodent and will kick our asses for holding his dog hostage."

"Dude, Mickey wouldn't kick our asses because Pluto on his own free will went to Roxie--"

"Good luck trying to explain that to a 3 inch tall mouse with a keyblade!" I bellowed, wishing I hadn't left my chakrams on the ship.

Silence.

"Well, I'm keeping him," Roxas said firmly, bending down to fondly pet the dog. "I think I knew him once...in my past life. I mean...I don't remember anything..."

Pluto affectionally licked the kid's face, and the blonde giggled in response, batting him away. "Down boy."

I froze. I had never heard Roxas giggle, laugh, or even smile. But suddenly, in the presence of his mutt, he had transformed to a normal fifteen year old with a mutt.

I must be going soft.

"Fine," I said stiffly, marching back to my room to make notes how to pin the disappearance of Pluto on Xemnas. Maybe Mickey will kick his ass for us.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later...

Knock. Knock.

"WHAT?" I shrieked, paranoid that Mickey had found us and his mutt and was on his way to personally kick my ass. Or worse, Maleficent grew tired of waiting for our plans and decided to blast us into tiny bits.

"Erm, just checking to see if you're alive," questioned the youngest Organization member, stepping inside, raising a brow at all the magazine cut outs. "Planning your new wardrobe?"

"Har. Har. Close the damn door if you want to stay," I growled, attempting to clear my desk of the evidence of what I was doing. Nothing dirty, mind you.

He did so, cautiously coming forward. I sighed. "I'm sorry for being snappy. But our ship is broken, Maleficent doesn't like to wait, and now I'm worried Mickey might be on our tails, too."

Roxas snorted, a piece of paper catching his eye. Good thing I noticed this gleam in his eye and snatched the paper from his sight.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, reaching for the paper, but I had moved it out of his grasp, and he growled, climbing into my lap, reaching for the paper above both our heads.

I leaned back further, and in the process, landed on the floor with a loud thud, only with Roxas on top of me, squishing me to death.

Note: Get some damn carpet!

"Fuck, I think I have a concussion," I moaned, practically seeing stars.

Roxas, noticing my state of mind, decided to go for it, but luckily I managed to fling the paper into the air, out of both our grasps.

"Jerk off," he hissed, gutting me.

"Fuck!" I bellowed, spasms of pain flowing through me.

He started to climb off of me, but I gripped him tightly around the collar of his tee shirt and pulled him back down to eye level. "Listen here you little punk--"

I failed to notice the angle of his knee, and with a hard force, he rammed his knee up my groin.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I croaked, wheezed and whimpered like a baby, tears flowing down my cheeks in pain. Roxas smiled in victory, picking up the fallen paper, pinning me a dumfounded look.

The door opened with a bang, and we both flinched.

It was Demyx, dressed up as a--

rabbit?

"WHAT?" I bellowed, my voice cracking. It sounded like I was going through puberty again. Argh.

Demyx looked at me, lying on the floor, clutching my crotch, tears pouring down my face, to Roxas, who was still dumbfounded, staring at the paper. This had to be quite a picture for anyone to see.

"What is it? A letter of resignation? Xemnas is Axel's father? Xemnas is your father? What the fuck is going on!? And why doesn't anyone tell me anything?" cried out Demyx, a hurt, confused look on his face.

"Because, you dolt! You're dressed up as a rabbit, singing Disney songs! Who would take you seriously?! And this isn't STAR WARS!" I shrieked, sitting up despite the pain. "You seriously need to grow up! No wonder you can't get laid! Michael Jackson wouldn't touch you!"

"Just because I can keep in touch with my inner child doesn't mean you should take it out on me!" Demyx said harshly.

"Demmie, its ok," soothed Roxas, walking up to the Nobody/rabbit and petting him gently on the back. "Axel is just the Grinch that stole Christmas...you know?"

My eyes practically fell out of my sockets when Demyx cried out, wrapping his arms around Roxas, burying his face in his spiky hair, sobbing. "Why doesn't he...like me?"

"It's alright," Roxas continued, "I like you."

WHAT!?

"You---do?" asked Demyx, a hopeful gleam in his eye. "I thought you liked Axel..."

I had died. This was a dream...my body was probably dripping blood into a gutter as we speak...I'm not dying in a middle of a room where a kid is consoling a six foot tall dink dressed as a rabbit...

"Come on," urged Roxas, pulling Demyx out of the room by his hand. Their hands CLASPED together. "I'll make you some coco with marshmallows."

In defeat, I picked up the forgotten paper. My...journal.

Dear...Diary/Journal,

I really really like Roxas.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time I emerged from my room, Demyx and Roxas were curled up on the couch, eating junk food and watching Finding Nemo.

"Ahem," I said, announcing my presence.

No response.

"I'm straight," I declared.

"Prove it," snickered Demyx. "Take the only copy we have of Playboy and jack off loudly so Roxs and I can hear you from down here."

Roxas giggled. "Axel sounds like he's dying when he comes."

WTF?

"At least I don't moan like a girl!" I sneered, searching the cabinets for Coco Puffs. "Where the fuck are my Coco Puffs!?"

Pluto gave a dry bark.

"Erm. Yeah. Pluto ate them," Roxas said, turning around, a smile tugging his lips. "So erm...find any new parts?"

I continued to search the kitchen. Who cared about getting new ship parts when I couldn't find my damn Coco Puffs?!

"We're going shopping," I said in defeat, wishing this wasn’t the case. I HATE shopping.

"Kids R Us!" said Demyx, jumping up.

"No," I stated firmly.

"Totally going to adult megaplex," Roxas grinned wickedly. "Heard everything is half-off on Wednesdays..."

"You're not of age," I said firmly.

"So what? They don't check, I totally got in last time..."

"NO. WE ARE BUYING COCO PUFFS. AND THAT IS FINAL."

"Fuck that, I'm staying home then," Demyx said, plopping back down onto the couch.

"No. We are ALL going. TOGETHER. NOW," I yelled. "So get off your lazy asses, take a whiz, or whatever you got to do to be ready in five seconds!"

"I want to go to Kids R Us!" complained Demyx.

"I hate the grocery store," grumbled Roxas.

"NO. YOU'RE GOING. And if I have to put up with any bullshit from either of you, there will be some future problems concerning the bathroom and your ability to take a whiz."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi! My name is Yuna and right now we have---"

"No thanks," I said curtly, not accepting the flyer from the brunette girl at the entrance of the store.

"Don't have to be such a jerk about it," she said, glaring.

"I'll take one," piped up Roxas, smiling apologetically. "My friend here doesn't been going to his Anger Management classes lately."

The brunette's bi-colored eyes brightened with realization. "Oh, I see. May I recommend a doctor? Doctor Cid is wonderful with Anger Management patients..."

"I don't have an anger problem," I cut in abruptly, shooting daggers at a certain blonde kid who couldn't control his hair.

Roxas sighed wearily. "He is still in the 'denial' stage."

"Oh, I can see that," Yuna nodded, smiling fondly at the teen. "I can give you the number of the doctor if you want..."

"Sure," Roxas smiled and Yuna blushed. By fucking god, he was flirting with the Wal-Mart greeter right in FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE.

"You're really such a sweet friend, helping your friend with his problem," she continued on, smiling. Pretty soon she would be all over the damn kid...

"I DO NOT HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM!" I yelled, causing every head in the store to turn and stare at me.

"MOMMY, HE'S SCARING ME!" sobbed a young boy in the corner.

"How dare you scare my little boy! You ought to be ashamed!" the mother bellowed, taking her purse and swinging it at me.

"Hey! What the fuck do you have in that damn purse? BRICKS?" I gasped, attempting to dodge the blows.

"Ahem, Yuna, may I also have an emergency number to this Doctor Cid?" asked Roxas sweetly. "And of course I'll tell him you recommended him."

"Heh. No need. He's my Uncle, but I don't like many people to know that," Yuna whispered as the security guards came to collect Axel.

"Ah. I won't tell a soul," Roxas promised.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"VIII? Why are you calling me? Don't you know how to teleport?" came the abrupt, rude voice of my Superior on the other line.

"Erm," I began, clutching the phone like it was my life-saver. "I...I'm in jail."

"..."

"Can't you just teleport?"

"No. They have wards for that, duh. Do you think the police are stupid?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, I did too. Once."

"Are IX and XIII with you?" he asked now, impatience in his voice showing through.

"No."

"Where is XIII?" he asked firmly, and I could practically feel his anger over the phone.

"I don't know! I'm in jail! Are you gonna come get me or not?! Who cares about XIII! He is nothing but a little prick...!"

BEEP. BEEP. BEEEEEP.

"Your call has been discounted. Please try again. Goodbye."

"Hey pretty boy! How about you come over here and put that mouth to some use!" bellowed one of my inmates.

Oh fuck. I'm going to be gangbanged by a bunch of bald-headed Twinkie eating grandfathers...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Roxas' POV

"ROXIE! Axel BURNED DOWN THE JAILHOUSE!" Demyx shrieked, rushing into the kitchen.

I abruptly dropped my spoon of Coco Puffs. "What?"

"Down to the crisp. It had a nice clip of him emerging from the fire and everything--he totally jacked that from the V for Vendetta movie!"

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

"XIII!" bellowed an all too familiar voice from outside the broken gummi ship.

Demyx's eyes grew wide. "It's Xemnas!"

Well, duh. Who else called us by our numbers? Santa?


--------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thanks to World War Z for the quote, "...And if I have to put up with any bullshit from either of you, there will be some future problems concerning the bathroom and your ability to take a whiz." Brilliant. ::blows kisses::: And next chapter WILL have Xemnas, obviously. Get ready! xD Show some love and review! 'Till next time!