The Sentimental Feelings

Author: Ciissi
Fandom: Star Ocean III: Till the End of Time
Pairing: Albel Nox x Fayt Leingod
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean III. It belongs to Square Enix, may they do lots of more good games. Song 'All I Ask of You' is taken from the musical 'The Phantom of the Opera' composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber and the musical is based on book 'Le Fantôme de l'opéra' (1910) by Gaston Leroux so it is quite obvious that I do not own them although I have read the book several times, seen the musical once when I was in London and I have the songs of the musical as CD.
Warnings: Eventually NC-17. Contains yaoi meaning at least two boys having sex together but not in first few chapters. Possible child abuse but not in sexual manner.
Author's Note 1: It took about five days to write this and I think it is showing... There is damn much Albel OOCness but no matter how many times I changed it... it was *still* there... Lots of Maria's point of view there too because she is traveling with Fayt and Albel. This chapter is just some walking, talking and fighting. Nothing much happens - again - but mama!Fayt is back!

Answers for Reviews: Thank you for your reviews. I like to read them and they make me believe that there are others who like this story no matter how I feel that it is going onward only slowly.
To SuijiDL: Like you said the 'net is small and I too did not know you are in same LJ-community. I am glad that you liked my messings with Item Creation (I am hooked!) although it is not necessarily for the story progression. I view Albel as intelligent person. No matter how much he likes bloodshed and killing he *is* successful captain in the Glyphian army so he can not be stupid. You do not become famous by being cruel and stupid but you have to be highly intelligent. Even if Albel's body is a child's, his mind has not changed at all. And as Albel being child... ... ... Well... It is going to take time before I am returning him to an adult. Albel has yet to bath with Fayt...
To Seraph: Rushing is all right. It does not bother me in any aspect but people not knowing I am unable to write quicker. Do not be too harsh. Why do you think I made Fayt put blanket over Albel? Yes, there are holes in Roger's clothes but (hopefully) not too big ones.
To one-eyed jester: You seem to see Albel and Fayt almost same way than I do. Because Albel seems very cold and uncaring and controlled outsides, what he does when he is half asleep can tell you a lot what he is thinking inside his mind. ;3
To Minako: Everyone can decide on their own which one of them is life and death. After all those two are very metamorphic things (life leads to death and death into rebirth and life). I think Albel (in game) is very used to have Fayt around but he does not want it to show... Mirage has already picked up the signs (remember in Chapter Four?), Nel really does not want to think about it (I have not really decided what to do with her opinion...) and this chapter might tell some things about Maria. I want more kissing, lot more of it... Unfortunately there is going to be some only if it suits the flow of the story so no promises here...
To Lee Nightingale: Something like that has happened to me too. Thank you for your support. I hope you enjoy this till the end.
To Death's Avatar: Strange sentence structure, too long sentences... Can not help it... I never thought that this might look like poetry... Hmmm... I have few favorite scenes that I have worked hard to make them as I wish them to be. To someone other notice them and like them is really something to me.

*****

Part One - Chapter Six: The Security (No, Albel, you can't fight!)
To tell the whole truth Fayt was extremely grateful to get out of Peterny. The morning of their leaving had not been *quite* as bad as the morning before, but it had not been the greatest one either. Fayt slowly began to understand why some parents seemed so tired all the time. Three years old Albel was *definitely* a child with too much energy for his own good. Not that Fayt could blame the other. After all Albel had still the intelligence and experience of 24 years old sword master but unfortunately most of the people could not quite comprehend the fact which ultimately lead to conflicts.

So Fayt was extremely grateful to get out of Peterny and away from its inhabitants. He was happy beyond happy to escape the catastrophe-in-waiting that further staying in Peterny in truth was. Not that Fayt was really anticipating the end of this journey which was Aquios, the capital of Aquaria. But for now he was content. It would take at least two days to arrive to Aquios and during that time the ten of them would be the only persons around and they all knew well - *too* well if Cliff's opinion was asked - Elicoorian swordsman's fiery and proud nature not to underestimate or irritate him in purpose or accidentally.

Fayt glanced at Albel from the corner of his eye. The young child was walking besides blue-haired young man with a stern and unyielding look on his face staring right in front of him. That look told that he had no intention to give in and slow down their progress to Aquios despite his body being more fragile. His steps were following the pace of light stride that effortlessly ate away the kilometers without consuming too much energy and telling that he was seasoned on traveling. Albel was dressed in very simple black clothing wearing trousers, sleeveless shirt, black boots and long overcoat. The Crimson Scourge with its sheath was tied to his back and his claw was on his hand but it was - of course - covered by the sleeve of the overcoat. Fayt had combed his hair again in the morning before they had left two hair-tails swung around him. Around Albel's throat was the collar Fayt had bought for him and although it had raised some wondering questions neither Albel nor Fayt had explained anything. In his new clothing Albel looked so much like a Fayt's darker and younger counterpart that it was very easy to confuse them as father and son. It had made the ladies of the party squeal from excitement and males just stare.

Fayt tore his eyes of Albel before other male would decide to look around himself and would catch Fayt taking worried glances of him. That would irritate the swordsman and make him start a fight of words. Fayt passingly glanced towards Maria, the third member of their scouting group.

When they had left the town behind them Fayt had been forced into the scouting group because he was one of the most familiar with the area surrounding the royal capital among Nel. Although Peppita, Roger and Sophia were not bad fighters themselves, they still were prone to accidents and they were quite easily distracted while fighting. Especially Sophia if something happened to Fayt and Peppita and Roger... Well... Adray, Mirage, Cliff and Nel were barely enough to keep them from running around causing chaos and getting into trouble. Besides Nel was having some sort of consulting moment with Sophia to calm her down and Fayt *had* promised to himself to keep an eye on Albel in every moment so the frontal party - which work was to take care of possible monsters they might encounter - consisted from Fayt accompanied by Albel and Maria, because, for some reason, after Fayt she was the least irritating person to Albel. Fayt had his suspicion that it was because her looks were very like Fayt's although her nature was calmer and more collected than Fayt's. Fayt would have liked to stay in the back group because of Albel's state but because things were like they were...

Albel felt every touch of Fayt's eyes like heat stroke washing over his skin, his whole being. The wave of heat always started and ended at same place. He knew that youngster was worried and to tell the truth he was not the only one. Albel was somewhat worried too but he would have never *ever* admitted it for anyone else but himself. He had finally gathered enough information about this new body he was in. It certainly was nothing like the one of the adult's. It was weaker, slower in response, had less endurance, grew tired quicker and did not react into certain stimuli like adult's body. But above all... There was something else, more worrying going on than those things.

Albel Nox was far from being stupid. He had proved it to everybody by learning to read Fayt's native language while they have been on board Diplo and Aquaelie. On top of that he had never lived sheltered life so he had quite lot of life experience for just 24 years old person. He knew very well *what* sexual attraction was but he did not know what this, that he felt, was. It was in a way like sexual attraction - Albel was not a fool enough not to admit himself that Fayt Leingod was *very* good looking young man that attracted attention from both females and males - but not entirely. There was lot of unfamiliar warmth and affection mixed with pure lust overthrowing it and being more important than satisfying the sexual appetite. Albel wondered whether or not it was because the state he was in. He had discovered last night that his body was not able to get sexually excited but it did not explain the fact of these strange feelings had started to surface before he had turned into a child. Those feelings only involved Fayt and Fayt only. No matter what the blue-haired boy did... whether he talked with Albel, fought alongside him, trained with him, dined with him, walked beside him, preached to him, scolded him, slept in the same room or just was there not speaking, not swinging sword, not moving... those strange warm feelings made their existence known somewhere deep inside Albel's frozen, cold, uncaring soul.

Because... Albel Nox had begun to care... for Fayt Leingod, for his very first friend for almost ten years.

A fatal weakness.

Albel shook his head to get rid of the unwanted thoughts. What if Fayt was his 'friend'? After killing the Creator that threatened their lives and existence the blue-haired one would leave Elicoor once again. There was no friendship or any other kind of relationship that would make Fayt stay with him. Not that Albel needed him! But still... the thought of separation was... a little bit... depressing... even for Albel the Wicked...

Albel kicked angrily the soil of the ground when he found himself being distracted by too much thinking. Without his conscious notice Fayt and Maria had stopped. But because he still *was* well trained warrior he had stopped too and wandered closer as the two others of the party had sat down and started to talk about something. Albel looked at those two and knew that they were not sitting because they might be tired but because they - or Fayt - wanted to make conversation easier for small Albel.

Albel slumped to the ground, crossed his legs and arms and glared accusingly at Fayt. "What is it, fools?" he spat in irritation. "We've hardly traveled for an hour so you can't be tired. I can see still the gates of Peterny." He hated himself for being so easily distracted by thoughts of this blue-haired Earthling. So what if that worm had once won him? So what if that fool had once taken him out of the cold and boring dungeon? So what if that worm had saved his life more than once? These messed up thoughts were entirely that fool's and that potion's fault! Albel huffed making sure that both of those two understood clearly *how* irritated he was.

Maria paid no heed to Albel's foul mood and continued to check her gun. She had learned early to let Fayt deal with Albel and just ignore the Elicoorian swordsman almost completely outside the battle field. Maria knew well - oh, yes she *did* - that she was far more fortunate in her relationship with Albel than others - excluding Fayt and for some reason Mirage. Albel Nox did not bother her too often. He picked on her only time to time and when Fayt was preoccupied by something very important to have verbal fight - that included more than insults - with him. Maria did not entirely understand the relationship between Fayt and Albel and it irked her. Sometimes it looked like Fayt, who in her eyes seemed to keep Albel as his personal pet, was more aggressive one and one creating the rhythm between them. Other times it looked like Albel, who seemed according to her inspection keep Fayt as his personal possession, was more dominating and deciding the direction of their relationship.

Maria glanced towards the boys. She marked how child-formed Albel sat closer to Fayt than it was necessary while Fayt was leaning so close to the bloody eyed Elicoorian that he almost invaded his personal space. Maria was aware that Albel thought Fayt as his 'prey' but she was not so sure in what kind of aspect Albel meant 'prey'...

Maria had theories of all of her companions. She had long time ago labeled and pigeonholed her companions. Mirage was mother; caring and reasonable. Cliff was big brother; strong and dependable, defender of his siblings and family. Roger was little brother; carefree and boisterous, always fighting with his eldest brother. Nel was big sister; feminine without being weak and noble-minded. Peppita was little sister; playful and cheerful, never being too long depressed. Sophia was like a girl next door; little clumsy but always doing her best, talkative and kind, but not too pretty to make anyone jealous and in love with one of Maria's 'brothers'. Adray was grandfather; silent, yet loud and wise and perceiving when his opinion was asked.

So far so good but that was where Maria's theories started to stagger. She did not know the reason and where the error was but it was irritation and annoying her endlessly.

Fayt was like twin brother - no elder, no younger - and like father; selfish and self-sacrificing, mean and kind, clueless and wise, careless and careful... and something more. Fayt was somewhat mystery to Maria no matter how much time she used to study him. He was someone who kept their traveling party together and led it even without realizing that ultimately it was *he* who decided their every move.

And then there was Albel Nox, Albel the Wicked, the Wicked One... First Maria had thought that he was nothing more than a local bully who seemed to get his kicks from tormenting weaker and had set his eyes on her siblings. Then situation changed and he became antisocial step-brother who did not have any friends and had become distant to the rest of the family. And again something changed. It became apparent to Maria that Albel Nox was *definitely* not part of her 'family'. He became more like her twin's antsy, antisocial friend, rival from school and who was in the same school club. A person that their 'big brother' did not approve of and yet here he still was bound by oath. Maria was pleased by that and then Albel - that fucking idiotic *prick* why could he *not* stop changing?! - become protective over Fayt and Maria was at loss again. 'Rivaling friend' was not the correct definition for Albel anymore.

Maria could not understand Fayt Leingod or Albel Nox. Every time she had happily labeled them they both did something that changed everything. Now as she looked at those two interact in the situation that none of them could have ever imagined she was aware that this situation was determining and greatly affecting the direction the relationship between Fayt and Albel would take after the situation would be over.

Maria could not help but rub her hands with anticipation as she continued to clean her gun.

Unaware of Maria's musings Fayt was having conversation with Albel. On the other hand it would have been more correct to say that Fayt talked *to* Albel because you need two to participate to have a conversation. The child Albel was showing his most nerve-eating and last admirable side of antisociality: Silent treatment. Albel knew he was acting like brat, but he could not stand any longer Fayt's continuous fussing over him.

Albel was in the child's body. Acknowledged.

Albel's body could not take stress as well as he had used to. Acknowledged.

It was endless. The fussing. The facts. The concern. The questions. Albel could feel his veins bobbing and he knew that if Fayt would not soon shut up Albel would shut him up. The silent treatment was not working and he came to conclusion that he had used it too often on Fayt. Or Fayt had thick skin or limitless patience when dealing with him. Albel suspected all of three. He was tired of hearing that this new body of his was nothing like his real one. He knew it, knew it, goddammit he knew that *much* better than anyone else! But this body should not be any hindrance and soon he would find a way to compensate for the changes in the battle. He told that to Fayt, ending the silent treatment.

Fayt was quite mild-mannered person in accompany of unfamiliar people. Only few ever saw his need to protect his friends and family and children. Albel was his friend and child - at least for now - and he stubbornly refused to listen to the reason. Yes, Fayt was sure Albel would find a way to compensate with the changes and no, Fayt did not believe that suicidal Elicoorian would live long enough to find the way. Fayt told this to Albel. With very cynical and sarcastic tune of voice. Albel was no child and his understanding was not one of child's. So what was preventing Albel to listen the reason?! Fayt knew that he was unfair and too cruel. He could see and feel that Albel was irritated and annoyed but most just frustrated. Unfortunately Fayt was too aware that Albel was not the only one with those problems and it made him slash the other swordsman without thought for what kind of damage it might cause between them.

From that point onwards the conversation between Albel and Fayt took the turn for worse. By the time Maria noticed the change, it was already too late to prevent the argument between boys. So she put her gun back to its holster and while keeping close watch for surrounding area, she watched over and listened to two males fighting. She could hear the tension of this unexpected situation behind the words clashing and feel the tension slowly dissipating.

Maria hid her tender, accepting smile under her palm.

Sudden roar split the air alerting them to notice that the presence of monsters had come closer. Maria, Fayt and Albel all snapped out of either their word fight or their thoughts and stood up. Maria took her gun, Albel and Fayt drew their swords and back against back they looked around.

Being good or bad thing it was Albel who was the first one to notice the monsters trying to surround, trap and take them by surprise. Let us say it was very good indeed for Albel because it gave him a head start, but very bad for Fayt whom almost got heart attack when Maria shouted to him and pointed at little Albel that was rushing towards the enemies.

Fayt's scream of pure horror and irritation - like someone just had caught him by surprise and done something unwanted - was heard over long distance and it alerted their backup party that something was not right. The rest of the party knew that it was because of Albel without doubt and they hastened their pace.

*****

There were simply some things that Fayt wished he would a) never experience and b) never see. And child Albel running towards monsters ten times bigger than *Fayt* while swinging his katana around was *definitely* falling under the both of those categories and now for his horror he had to see it.

Fayt froze just for a moment no longer that one hundredth of a second but to his terrified brains it seemed to last forever and more. He could hear the ragged breath and shocked mumbling of Maria beside him. Then his body exploded into action. Fayt bolted forward and ordered Maria to distract monsters and draw their attention away from Albel. He could see with his mind's eye Albel's child's body being crushed under the heavy paws and hooves of the monsters he was planning to face.

It was short but agitating distance that Fayt had to run so he could reach Albel. He could hear the roars of the monsters, bangs from the shots of Maria, sounds of bullets hitting into flesh and shouts of Albel's clear, excited child's voice. The beat of his own heart drumming in his head. The heavy breathing. Several shots more. Two different kinds of steps running towards the monsters. The pounding of blood inside his veins. And then Fayt could hear the noise from Albel's brand new claw and he could see the blood-eyed boy within his grasp.

Fayt extended his arms and pulled Albel off the ground embracing him gently but firmly. He changed their direction drastically to make sure that they would not by any chance get close the monsters. "Maria!" Fayt yelled over his shoulder. "Make Cliff and Mirage and others help you out!"

Neither Fayt nor Albel saw Maria's raised hand that marked she had heard the order and would obey it. They also could not see the encouraging smile that graced her lips for a while because Fayt could only think of getting away from the threat and Albel was busy with putting his katana back to its sheath so he would not loose it.

*****

Albel knew that humans - theoretically - did not go into heat. It was something that happened to animals. But this feeling that Albel was now feeling could *not* be called anything else than 'being in heat' or 'frenzy' and he remembered that humans were mammals among other animals. So he was in heat, in frenzy. No problem. Except that it was his mind that was in heat, not his body. He felt like he was going to explode. He could not remember when he had been *this* irritated, agitated.

//Stupid fool! Running away from our enemies. They were nothing more than lowly maggots; we could have taken care of them easily!//

Albel turned to look at Fayt whom stood some feet away from him leaning his hand to his knees and breathing heavily. The sweat glimmered on blue-haired boy's skin as he crashed to the ground. He raised his head and his emerald-eyes shone brightly and sweat-wet locks of hair stuck on his face. Fayt licked his lips moisturizing them and opened his mouth probably to ask Albel to reflect on his actions.

But for unfortunate Albel whose mind was full of thoughts of violent overdrive that he could not vent anywhere, Fayt only looked like recovering from some very heated sexual actions. Seeing Fayt lick his lips like begging some more was last straw for Albel and his steely self-control snapped. He jumped on Fayt without thinking and glued their lips together.

The kiss was all heat, sex, violence and tongue and it took long before Albel and Fayt separated from each other. They lay on the ground Fayt's back on the hard dirt-surface and Albel stretched over Fayt's upper torso Fayt's arms around him. They stared each other for a long time their breaths mingling.

Albel stood up slowly and turned his back to Fayt whom stayed on the ground. He drew his katana and slashed as hard as he could the nearby tree with all of his might. "This is so sick!" he finally declared. "That fucking potion... Not only it turned me into a child but it has also messed my head!" Albel yanked his katana off the tree trunk and proceeded to further mutilate the tree. "I'll kill them all!" he chanted every time the blade of the Crimson Scourge hit the tree trunk blisters flying around.

Fayt pushed himself up but stayed on the ground. He crossed his legs and looked at enraged Albel whom was still violating the innocent tree. He had no longer strength to preach to Albel. "You must be very frustrated, Albel", Fayt suddenly said. His words made Albel stop his raging and turning to gaze Fayt. "I know that you like to fight because it makes you stronger, but right now I'm preventing you from developing your skills." Fayt rose up and patted his clothes to get rid of the dust and grass. After cleaning up his appearance he turned to look at Albel with stern eyes and expression. "It's alright to discharge your frustration to me", Fayt offered a small smile to the other, "but not like that." His voice and expression were firm.

Albel shrugged his shoulders to Fayt's words and implications behind the words and poked the tree with the head of the Crimson Scourge. Suddenly all the rage, irritation, frustration and everything else he was feeling had gone like washed away and he was only tired, tired, sleepy, sleepy... He sheathed his little katana and fighting the exhaustion he wondered how he would manage to walk back to where the rest of their group was. Albel knew that distance was only about kilometer or so but for this body it was long, long walk. For some reason he could not stop the feeling of defeat but gladly he was able to suppress the sigh. He did not want Fayt's pity or help.

//Stupid worm! Running this far!//

Fayt examined the changes in Albel's form and demeanor. He saw fatigue taking over and it was the pride of the swordsman that kept him standing. Fayt studied his surroundings before he choose a spot which he could easily defend, walked over and sat down. He was delighted to find out that it was comfortable even for him. He did not worry about Albel's comfort because... "Albel", Fayt called from his sitting place and as other turned, he continued: "come here. Lets rest here moment before returning." Fayt opened his arms beckoning for Albel to sit into his embrace.

Albel's mind did not want to response but he had no willpower to resist his dead tired body. In a flash he was in front of the blue-haired Earthling and climbing to the embrace. He shuffled around for a second before he was pleased with his position. As his heavy lids fluttered close he felt warm, securing arms wound around him and bring Fayt's cloak over both of them. Just a moment before sleep claimed him Albel opened his eyes and stared deep into Fayt's green eyes. "If you tell anybody about this, I swear I'll kill you the moment I'll get my real body back!" he mumbled threateningly.

Albel looked with sleepy confusion as Fayt smiled sweetly, trustingly, acceptingly and bent to kiss his forehead. For some reason Fayt seemed to Albel's eyes very happy about something. "What ever you say, Albel Nox", he heard the other whisper and he closed his eyes.

It could have been an illusion created by his half-sleep, but Albel thought that he heard Fayt singing something with his native language. He was not certain if it was something like dream or imagination of his messed up mind and body. But as he finally was lulled into deep sleep by song, Albel had to admit that this was third time he had ever felt this safe and cared of when sleeping.

When Fayt was sure that Albel had fell asleep, he raised his hand and petted Albel's black-and-gold locks that tickled gently his skin. He closed his eyes and listened to the child's breathing while singing quietly.

I'm here,
nothing can harm you -
my words will
warm and calm you.
~The Phantom of the Opera: All I Ask of You~

TBC...

*****

Author's Note 2: I hope you like this one. I am still looking for something positive to say about this chapter... It did not come out right *at all*! *angst, angst* Once again this story is going in some other direction than I am planning...

Oh, well... It is better that I do something to it... before anything catastrophic happens.

And for those who had been wondering: This fiction will consist from several parts. So it might end up being quite long, but I have made a promise to finish this one no matter what.

I am appreciating your reviews. So if you like my story and you have time, please write some critique or tell me what you like or do not like in this story.

// 5 pages in Word
// 4 114 words