Barflies

“Good afternoon Alley, what’ll it be?” Wade asked.

“A tall one in a CLEAN glass!”

“Oh fuck you Alley, there’s not a mug in all of Lordaeron clean enough for your anal retentive self.”

“Hey, I demand perfection from myself and my beer mugs.” Allerdyce said as he strolled across the floor to the bar. As he passed by the table populated by Bill and Rob, he couldn’t help but snag the paper from the orc’s hand.

“Bill? You can read and write?! Amazing!” Allerdyce said as he looked at the paper.

“Har dee har har, now give that back before I cut your balls off… provided I can find em of course.” Bill said with a chuckle, Rob giggled as well.

“They’re tucked down the left leg of my pants, covered in your mother’s lipstick too! You can’t miss em. Oh! Rob, you’ll love this, it’s a poem!”

“Give the paper back Alley…”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, my dearest Rob, I love you!”

Rob sat staring at Bill with a stunned look on his face.

“That’s not what it says you bonehead!” Bill grumbled at Rob. The troll went back to his beer with almost a frown of disappointment on his face.

“Fine! Take your paper back cry baby!” Alley said handing the paper back to Bill. The orc snatched it from his hand and resumed writing.

The door burst open and Roderick walked in, hanging his cloak on the hook he headed towards the bar. By the time he scaled the bar stool, Wade had his beer waiting for him.

“Alley.”

“Putz... I mean Roddy.”

“What’s on the agenda for tonight? I’m bored!”

“I figured we’d play a nice game of ‘throw Roddy to the crocolisks’, but apparently the Night elves for the Ethical Treatment of Animals say it’s bad for the crocolisks’ digestion.”

“Well that’s good… I don’t want to end up croc poo, that’s for sure!”

“You’re dumb! That’s it! I’ve run out of euphanisms! Just know that you’re dumb, I look in the dictionary for the word, BAM, your picture!” Allerdyce shouted.

“So what are we doing?” Roderick said, unphased by the outburst

“Bill’s having a poker night, some friends of his, and a bunch of us from the Grave. Should be fun.”

“Don’t forget to bring some food and beer you worthless mage!” Bill shouted from his table.

“I’ll bring you a frosty keg of ‘Fuck you’ lager. You’ll love it, 80% more ‘Fuck you’ than the other brands!”

“Whatever, just don’t be a freeloader.”

Allerdyce turned to Roderick. “Well, let’s go pick up some supplies, shindig starts in about 2 hours.” Roderick nodded, his attention focused on a dimly lit corner of the bar, a figure sat at the table alone.

“Yeah, I’ll catch up with you in a sec Alley, just gonna say ‘hi’ to an old friend.”

“Spiffy, I’ll be down the street.”

Roderick walked to the corner. The figure wore a dark hooded cloak, concealing their features.

“Heya Mel! What’re you doing here?” Roderick asked.

The figure threw back the hood, revealing the soft face of a night elf. She smiled at the gnome.

“Oh hello Roderick, I’m just here celebrating a birthday.” At the table was a simple bottle of junglevine wine and two glasses.

“Oh?! Where’s the guest of honor?” he asked with a smile.

“He’s… no longer with us. He…he would have been s-seventy eight this year” she said, choking up, her eyes misting with tears. Roderick hugged her close, kissing her forehead. Looking into her eyes he whispered “Tell him I said ‘happy birthday’.” She swallowed hard and wiped the tears from her eyes nodding. “He would have liked that, he always loved hearing about gnomes, found your people so fascinating.” She reached out and ruffled his hair, Roderick grinned from ear to ear. “Now go! Your friend is waiting, no need to listen to me sob all night!”

“Ok, you have a good night Melinda; I’ll see you this week at the guild hall.”

“Goodbye Roderick, may Elune watch over you.” She said. Raising her drink up, she stared up at the ceiling. “Happy birthday Horu, I love you and miss you my precious pet.”

Bill owned a rather large house in Orgrimmar, despite his demeanor, he was a great warrior and was respected far and wide throughout the horde. His home was filled with many trophies and spoils of war. He greeted Allerdyce and Roderick at the door.

“Haw! Glad to see you two made it! Especially with Allerdyce as your guide!”

“Oh come on Bill, I know Orgrimmar like your mother knows the back of my hand!” he sneered. Bill playfully punched him in the arm.

“Cold storage is the second door on your right, toss the keg in there and pull up a chair, the whole gang is here, Rob, Crane, Annallee, and Nash.”

“Not Annallee… why did you invite her?! It was supposed to be a guy’s night out thing!” Allerdyce bemoaned.

“Oh give it a rest Alley, she’s a real sweetie, for an elf that is.”

“Come on! She gives Roddy a run for his money for the title of ‘obnoxious jackass’”

“HEY!” Roddy yelled.

“Roddy, be quiet, the grownups are talking, now go find a booster seat so you can sit at the table like the rest of us.”

Roderick frowned before kicking Allerdyce in the shin and stalking off to the game room.

Seated at the table were a few familiar faces and a couple he didn’t know.

“Heya Rob!” he chimed, the troll simply waved as he sipped his beer.

“Crane! How are you?!” he asked, the night elf stared intently at the playing card in his hand.

“You should hear the filth coming out of this little man’s mouth Roderick. Sinful…” he said, holding up the Jack of Clubs. Roderick sheepishly smiled and nodded.

“Hi! I’m Roderick, who’re you?” he asked, the tauren mumbled and blushed a bit. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. What did you say?” The tauren coughed and spoke up.

“My name is Nash, pleased to meet you.”

“No need to be shy Nash, I won’t bite you… above the kneecap that is.” He giggled, sticking out his tongue. The tauren laughed a bit, seeming to loosen up.

“Quit being so shy Nash! I told you a hundred times!” Came from the female night elf next to him, she smiled as she gently smacked the tauren in the back of the head before pulling a strand of hair out of his face. He was flushed so much his snow white fur looked pink. She hugged him around the neck and squeezed hard, kissing him noisily on the side of his face.

“Mwah! Ya big lug!” she said before turning to Roderick. “I’m Annallee! Don’t mind Nash, he’s just bashful around strangers, he’s really quite fun once he loosens up.” She said, before reaching over and pinching Nash’s nipple and twisting, the poor tauren bellowed in pain and struggled to remove her hand. Roderick just giggled, Crane looked on with jealousy.

“Nobody ever pinches my nipples anymore…” he muttered

“Ok boys… and girl, if that’s what you REALLY are…” he said, smiling at Annallee, who stuck her tongue out at him. “Alley is here to take all your money!”

The cards were dealt and cold beer was passed around the room. Everyone had on their game faces, save for Nash and Roderick, who made a myriad of confused and pleased looks.

“Ok boys, let’s see em!” Bill declared. “A pair of 3’s for me, which means I’m fucked.”

“Three sixes here” Annallee said.

”Two kings, but there can be only one…“ Crane showed.

“I don’t think I have anything…” Nash said staring at his hand; Annallee leaned over and looked at his cards. “Nope, you got nothing Nash, just your dick in your hand.” She said, making the tauren blush profusely.

Rob just shook his head no.

“Alley, do 4 of these A’s make for anything?” Roderick asked. Allerdyce just frowned.

“No Roderick, if you get 4 A’s it means you’re retarded, so congratulations, you’re retarded.

“Congrats squirt.” Bill said, pushing the pile of chips towards Roderick.

Several hands later found them all laughing and telling jokes.

“…so here I am staring at Whitemane’s bare naked ass as she’s bent over going through her dresser, she’s giving me the evil eyes, which were double creepy because they were PINK! And I say ‘Azeroth sausage delivery! Who ordered the footlong?’!” Bill said, Allerdyce wiping tears from his eyes as he laughed

“So did she take you up on the offer?”

“Hell no! She beat my ass like I owed her money. Nothing like getting thrashed by a buck naked priestess in front of four of your best buds.”

Rob pointed at Bill and laughed.

“Oh! Oh! Nash do your trick!” Bill said.

“Yes! Do it!” Annalee begged him, Nash shook his head furiously. “Pweeeaaaaaaaase” she begged, pouting. Nash sighed and picked up his mug of beer, quaffing it down as fast as he could. He thumped a couple times on his chest, then quick as a blink, shifted into a dire bear and let loose a furious roar/belch, his ursine lips quivering. Allerdyce and Roderick just sat dumbfounded by what they saw. The room erupted into laughter again.

Finally around two thirty in the morning, Bill called it a night, the guests scooping up their belongings and heading for the door. A future meeting was plotted in advance and everyone piled out their merry way. Nash carried Annallee to his place piggy back as she was too tipsy to make the trip to her home in Darkshore. She hummed in his ear the whole way as she stared up at the starry sky over Orgrimmar.

“Whee! Finally home!” She said as Nash opened the door, setting her back down on her feet.

“Bedroom is the door on the left, bathroom the door on the right.” He said as he moved towards the couch.

“You’re not coming?” she asked, leaning on the doorway.

“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He said softly.

“Awww, drunk horny nightelf just WAITIN to get you in bed and you’re gonna sleep on the sofa?” she asked. Nash’s face went crimson as he blushed.

“I just think you’d regret it in the morning, that’s all. You’re not sober.” He said

“You’ll regret it in the morning if I wake up alone and dressed!” she faux threatened, her fist raised at him. He shook his head again. “Fine! Be that way!” she declared, moving across the room towards him, he backed up but was quickly running out of room. She closed in and pounced, shifting mid pounce into a panther, the mass of cat causing Nash to lose his balance as it struck him in the chest. In a flash she shifted again into a bear, scooping him up in her powerful arms and dragging him towards the bedroom.

He bounced as she deposited him on the mattress, his eyes wide as she stalked towards him, her feral bear eyes gazing at him like a raw piece of meat. She lie down on top of him, her warm soft fur covering him like a blanket, Nash ran his hands up and down her sides as she stared into his eyes. Slowly she lowered her head and extended her long tongue to slowly lap his throat from chest to chin, making him shiver. He shuddered and panted as she lapped across his snout, her tongue swiped across his lips, causing him to moan. She then pressed her snout to his, her tongue pushing past his lips to run along, then between his teeth. Her impossibly long tongue explored the inside of his mouth as they noisily kissed, sharing each other’s breath.

She rose off his chest and looked down between her forelegs at the bulge in Nash’s trousers which had been poking her in the belly before. A deep rumble came from her as she shifted on the mattress, her head moving down to catch the waistband of his britches in her teeth, her eyes locked with his as a bit of a grin appeared on her lips. Tugging down, she freed his cock to the night air as it flopped up on his belly. Another tug and the fabric of the short pants tore completely. Nash could only giggle as the wide eyed bear looked up at him, his ruined shorts hanging from her mouth.

“You could have just let me help you.” He chuckled, pulling the tattered fabric from her to toss it across the room. He patted and stroked her head as she leaned down to taste his member. He inhaled sharply as she lapped at his penis. “Ahhh, yessss.” He hissed as she took the stiff cock into her muzzle, her tongue wrapped and swirled over his cock, making his rump squirm in delight, she held him down with her arms as her head rocked up and down on him. The rumble of a growl began to come from her throat again and she let his member fall from her mouth for a second before shifting her place on the mattress. Nash barely had time to think before her fuzzy rump came crashing down on his chest as she sat on him. She resumed nursing on his groin as he kneaded her bear buttocks.

“Change back Annallee, I can’t reach it like this.”

Swiftly she shifted back to her night elf form. “Awww, but I can’t get all of you in my mouth like this.” She pouted.

“I know, but as a dire bear I can’t do THIS!” he said before parting the cheeks of her backside and licking along the slit of her damp pussy.

“OOoooooh!” she cooed. “Such a naughty bull!” she teased. Her head lowering back down, taking the head of his cock back into her mouth. Nash pulled apart the lips of her dripping sex to stick his tongue deep into her tunnel, scooping up the flow of juices it found there to taste and savor her flavor. Annallee grunted around his cock, the breath from her nostrils loud and strong. He thrust his tongue inside her several more times before removing it to swirl around her engorged clitoris, pulling it inside his mouth to suckle on it. Now the poor night elf squealed as the tauren nursed on her sensitive bud. She let him fall from her mouth again, panting.

“That’s it! I can’t take anymore! Fuck me now!” She begged, rolling off him onto all fours, rolling her rump back at him, lewdly displaying her ripe sex for him.

Quickly Nash shifted into a sleek lion, shaking his head, his mane fluffing. He stalked up behind her, head held low, as if about to pounce on a gazelle. Annallee looked back over her shoulder at him, eyes wide. They quickly slammed shut as she felt his rough tongue lash over her slit. He teased her for a few seconds more, making her squirm as she tried to avoid the rough tongue that assaulted her. Finally he mounted her, the fur on his belly tickling her back deliciously. She felt the tip of his feline cock poke at her backside a few times as he tried to find her pussy. Reaching back between her legs, she seized his member and guided it home, letting out a long moan as he pushed into her, hilting himself. A gentle slapping sound could be heard as he began thrusting into her. Annallee lowered her chest to the mattress, pushing back as far as she could to get as much of Nash into her as possible, the spines on his cock making her insides quiver. She reached back to rub her mound as she felt her orgasm nearing, trying to bring it closer. She gripped the blankets in her free hand with white knuckles as she bit into the covers to stifle the moans of sheer pleasure issuing forth from her. Finally she went rigid, the blankets falling from her mouth as she cried out, slumping forward. Nash dismounted her, his rampant cock bobbing underneath his belly. Annallee rolled over onto her back, spreading her legs wide as she motioned for him to continue.

“Put that right back in there!” she ordered.

“Yes ma’am” he said with a smile, shifting back to his normal tauren form. Plunging his cock back into the steamy confines of her pussy.

“Fuck me hard! I’m so close to another!” she begged, her breasts jiggling as Nash obliged her, hilting himself every time as he humped her with fervor. Nash grabbed her lithe rump in his hands and lifted her waist off the bed, humping her with abandon.

“Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” she panted. “By Elune I’m cumming agaiieeeeeeee!” she squealed, her cunt clamping down on him like a vise.

“Ah fuck, gonna cum too!” he barked. Her legs wrapping around him, holding him in place as he began to unload in her, pumping her full of his hot, sticky cream. They both lay panting on the bed, Nash still inside her as his cock twitched in the final throes of its orgasm. His head lie on her chest as he cradled her.

“There...” she panted. “That wasn’t so bad now was it?”

“Nope, I guess not.” Nash giggled as he nuzzled her breasts.

“I’ll get that shyness out of you yet, even if I have to fuck it out!” she smiled, gently smacking his head.

Melinda sat in the rogues’ chamber of the guild hall, talking with her friends when Roderick found her. He walked up to her with a small package in his hands.

“Heya Mel!” he said.

“Oh, hello Roderick. What have you got there?” she asked.

“It’s for you!” he said with a smile. “For your friend’s birthday! I know it’s a little late, but I didn’t know until you told me! Otherwise I would have gotten one, but like I said, I didn’t know, so I’m sorry, but I hope you like it...” he began speaking at an ever increasing pace. Melinda just calmly reached out and patted him on the head.

“It’s ok Roderick, thank you. You didn’t have to get anything.” She took the package from him and Roderick bowed before leaving to find Allerdyce. Opening it she looked inside, down in the bottom of a box sat a simple Tauren dream catcher.

“How did he know?!” she gasped. A smile crept upon her face as she removed a card from inside the box. Opening the card she read it.

“Happy birthday to your lost friend. I hope this will remind you of him and bring more smiles! I hate to see such a pretty girl so sad!

-X O X O
Roderick “