In Each Other

Author's Notes: Just a few quick words before we go on to the chapter. This was originally intended to be the one where Karsh and Norris admitted their love for each other and became a couple. However, I decided to change it because it just seemed too sudden and OOC of them to do that, and if there's one thing I hate, it's OOCness in fics. So I opted to drag out the story just a bit more, which is why it's taken me so long to get this next chapter up. Major rewrites and all that. Still, now that the story has a new direction, the updates will come more frequently. Lastly, thank you to everyone who has encouraged me thus far. If it weren't for you guys, I doubt I'd even still be working on this fic. Enjoy!

*****

Norris opened an eye carefully, peering around to make sure no one was in the room. Satisfied that he was alone, ht upt up carefully and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The floor was pleasantly warm under his bare feet, and he smiled a little, wiggling his toes. Silently, so as not to attract attention, he rose from the bed and tiptoed carefully to its foot, where his clothes lay draped over the baseboard. Glancing over his shoulder once more, he tugged on his pants.

It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate what everyone was trying to do for him, because he did. It was just…Norris had never been good at bed rest. As a child, he would insist that he was fine and that he had better get to school even though he was running so high a fever that he could barely sit up, let alone stand. Probably because he had always been considered “delicate” by his elders and had resented the hell out of it all his life. He knew the brief unconscious spell was just that, a spell. He wasn’t ready for excitement quite yet (obviously, if he passed out while getting a simple kiss) but as for the rest… well, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t function. Perhaps he was slightly shaky, but that was to be expected. All he needed was a good meal and some sun and he’d be just fine…

“So,” a voice said from behind him. “you’ve decided to go truant.” Norris whirled around, black undershirt clutched guiltily in his hand. A delicately built woman stood holding the curtains shut with one hand, a smile on her beautiful features. Norris recognized her, although he had only seen her once or twice before. She was the Lady Riddel, mistress of El Nido and daughter of General Viper. Not knowing what else to do, Norris offered a gallant bow.

Riddel laughed and took a few paces into the room, straightening the mess Doc had left on the table. Her voice was low and melodic, and Norris felt sure he recognized it from somewhere. He narrowed his eyes at her curiously and she, ever the lady, pretended not to notice. When she turned her back to him and her long hair swung out behind her, Norris caught the scent of water lilies, and he understood.

“You took care of me,” he murmured. She turned back to face him, large red-brown eyes soft. “When I was ill, you were there.” Riddel nodded, and the pale green snake that sprang from the ribbon in her hair glinted over her like a guardian.

“Yes, I was here,” she replied. “As was Radius and the good doctor.” She folded her small pale hands in front of her and regarded him curiously. “Doc said that you were exhausted.” Although it was not phrased as a question, it obviously demanded an answer, and Norris duckes hes head and blushed like a schoolboy.

“I…was faking,” he said. The carefully constructed story he had come up with, just on the off chance that he got caught, crumbled to dust in his mind. To distract himself, he pulled his black undershirt over his head and tucked it into his blue uniform trousers. He wasn’t sure why Riddel inspired such deference in him, but he felt that lying to her would be as bad as striking her.

“Why?” Simple question, complicated answer. Norris took a deep breath and looked up, a pained light in his eyes. Riddel stood as she had before, hands folded in front of her. She looked every inch the lady and Norris very nearly blushed again.

“It's…hard to explain, Lady,” he responded reluctantly. “But mainly because I hate staying in bed. I could easily be out. Doing something…” Even to his ears, it was a weak excuse, and Riddel smiled softly and sat down on the stool. Although she did not indicate the bed, Norris knew that she fully intended for him to sit as well, so he perched carefully on the edge of the mattress and waited.

“I know you aren’t telling me the truth,” Riddel began. Norris winced at her gentle tone, but said nothing. How to tell her that he could still feel Karsh’s lips burning on his? How to explain that he couldn’t be in this room anymore, that the memory of the Dragoon’s arms around him was too much? She wouldn’t understand, and so Norris kept hilenilence. “But I also know that the truth is something you do not wish known.” Her eyes were sharp and Norris almost broke down and confessed, checking himself only at the last moment.

“I simply cannot stay in this room another second,” he said. His voice had regained some of its commanding quality, but Riddel only raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow.

“You cannot? And what if I were to tell you that you must?” Her sweet voice seemed wrapped in steel, and Norris fled ved visibly. “What would you say then, Commander?” There was the faintest edge of mocking in her voice when she spoke his rank, and Norris drew himself up, shoulders stiff.

“With all due respect, my lady, I hardly think you could stop me from leaving,” he snapped, rising from the bed.

“No, but I could.” Norris froze, rooted to the spot by the baritone growl. His eyes went wide as a pair of saucers and he gazed in desperate horror at the man who stood in front of the curtains.

Karsh sauntered into the room, one thumb hooked through his belt, and took up a position behind Riddel. His face was set in grim determination, but his eyes told a different story. There was a hesitant curiosity in them that Norris found as distracting as it was fascinating. Maybe Karsh didn’t want to kill him afall.all. Wouldn’t that be something…

“Yes,” he responded, his voice automatically reverting to its usual emotionless tone. “I don’t doubt that you could. But really, Karsh, why go to all the trouble of saving my life if you’re only going to break my legs so I can’t enjoy it?” Riddel raised an eyebrow at that and Karsh’s lip twitched, as if fighting a smile. Still, he didn’t move from his position at Riddel’s back and his eyes didn’t stray from Norris’s face.

“How about you just get back in bed and quit arguing with the lady,” Karsh suggested, nodding his head toward the bed Norris had so recently vacated. Norris could smell him; the sharp, rich scent of the forest clung to him and filled the tiny room like a cloud. It was dizzying, intoxicating. He moved to the bed cautiously, all of his concentration bent on not noticing Karsh, on not reacting to his presence. It was hard; Karsh was the kind of man that could fill a room when he wanted to, fill it with *himself*, with whatever it was that made him Karsh. Most people, Norris had noticed, sat up and paid attention whenever Karsh did that. He found himself, however, driven to distraction by the sheer animal magnetism that the Deva projected.

Seemingly satisfied with his cooperation, Riddel rose, smoothing her shimmering skirt. She said something in a low voice to Karsh and then swept out of the room, leaving the Dragoon behind. Norris shuddered and stretched out on the bed, face turned to the wall. The last thing he needed right now was to be left alone with Karsh and, of course, that was the exact thing that happened. He supposed it wasn’t such a big surprise. He’d found that the more vehemently he wished for something *not* to happen the more likely it was *to* happen.

“Look, Porre…” Karsh’s growling voice was quiet, yet it thundered in Norris’s ears like an avalanche. “We really need to talk.” The young soldier shut his eyes and contemplated briefly the wisdom of refusing to let Karsh continue. It would be quite easy, really, to force the Dragoon out of the room. He could claim fatigue, headache, nausea, any number of symptoms…

“Yes,” he said instead. “We do.” The stool scraped on the floor and creaked a little as Karsh sad down, and Norris gave a minute sigh. He turned to face Karsh, forcing himself to meet the other man’s eyes. Karsh took a deep breath and twisted his hands in his lap, but his gaze didn’t falter and Norris was both surprised by and envious of that.

“What happened…” Karsh closed his eyes for a moment, as if reviewing what he was going to say. “What happened can’t happen again. I’m…sorry about the way I acted. It was wrong of me to lead you to believe…” He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with what he had been about to say. “Anyway, I was hoping we could just forget about it.”

“No.” Norris didn’t flinch away from Karsh’s startled eyes, nor did he so much as blink when the Deva’s face turned stormy with anger. He stared back, gaze cold, as if daring the other man to challenge him. He knew precisely what Karsh was asking; he’d heard it before, and even requested it once or twice himself. Karsh didn’t want him to pretend it never happened. Karsh wanted him to forget it, completely and utterly. He wanted that kiss buried deep and never resurrected and Norris, for several reasons, the chiefest of which was pride, was unable to do that.

“What do you mean, no!?” Karsh snapped. He cringed a little, glancing over his shoulder, and lowered his voice, leaning close to the bed. His eyes darkened to a deep reddish shade; their garnet hue would have betrayed his anger even if his tone had not. “I know you’re in love and all, but-“

“In *love*?” Norris interrupted, sitting upright in the bed. Karsh looked slightly taken aback, then confused, but he nodded in confirmation. Norris gave a short laugh and shook his head. “What on earth makes you think I’m in love?”

“Orlha said you were…” Karsh was looking distinctly uncomfortable, and as Norris chuckled, he rubbed the back of his neck. It was such an “awe, shucks” gesture that Norris had to grin at him.

“Well, that should teach you not to listen to crazy barkeepers,” he murmured, patting Karsh on the knee. Karsh attempted a faint smile, but his eyebrows were still drawn down in puzzlement. “I’m not in love, I promise you.”

“But…” Karsh shook his head almost before the word was out of his mouth. “Nah, never mind.” Curious, Norris gripped the Deva’s thick wrist.

“But what?”

“Its just…” Karsh faltered, then took a deep breath and spoke in such a rush that Norris had trouble understanding him. “Its just that before you kissed me you had this look on your face and I thought to myself ‘That’s the way people who are in love look at each other’ and trust me, I know because Dario and Riddel used to give each other that kinda moony look and so did my parents when they thought I wasn’t looking but anyway it kinda freaked me out, if you know what I mean…”

Norris gaped for a moment, unable to reply to this wholly unexpected accusation of romantic interest in the Dragoon. It wasn’t that he didn’t *like* Karsh, because he did. He’d always thought the other man was handsome and charming, if a little brash, and Karsh certainly had enough charisma to make up for his failings. He respected the Deva’s battle skills and the way he dealt with people. He felt slightly melty, it was true, whenever Karsh showed his soft underbelly. Like when he would let Marcy sleep curled on his chest like a kitten, or when he would creep up behind Sprigg and present her with a handful of the wildflowers she had grown so fond of. Or like all the times he had gone to see his parents from the world where he did not exist, trying to make up for the yea years they had been without their son. Like when he would tickle Draggy’s underbelly or scratch behind Poshul’s ears or sit down and brush Orlha’s hair for her…

“There,” Karsh breathed softly, and Norris looked at him in mild surprise. He had nearly forgotten the other man was there. “There, you’re doing it again…” Blushing, Norris turned his head away. Had he? Had he really been gazing at Karsh with that gleam in his eyes? He had seen it so many times on so many faces, that little sparkle in the corner of the eyes, that extra curve of the lips…Never on himself, though, and never directed at him. Had love finally found him in the guise of the enemy?

"I'm not doing any such thing," he replied. It was hard to find his voice, hard to force the words out, but he managed. Jaw clenched and eyes cold, he turned to face Karsh again. The look ofuddfuddled pain on the Deva's face nearly changed his mind, but Norris forced himself to hold onto his resolve. He wanted nothing more than to lean forward, to kiss Karsh again and banish the hurt in the other man's eyes, but the truth was neither of them could afford it. Once all this was over, Norris would have to return to Porre to face a court martial, and Karsh would assume his duties as one of the Devas once again. There was simply no room for romance.

"But... Norris..." He almost broke, then, hearing his name on Karsh's lips. It was the first time the Dra had had actually called him by his given name, the first time he had addressed Norris as something other than a rival soldier. Damn Karsh for choosing now to have a touching moment.

"But nothing," Norris snapped, giving Karsh his best icy stare. "It happened and we won't pretend it didn't. Bt dot doesn't mean anything, all right?" Slowly, under his gaze, Karsh's amber eyes hardened and for the first time, Norris thanked all that he held dear that the Dragoon was a prideful man. It would have been difficult to drive him off otherwise. Even now, Norris was not entirely sure his ploy had worked, for Karsh did not stir from his side, only kept staring at him as though those hawk-eyes could pick apart the young soldier's brain and see what lay inside.

Norris turned away, one hand meeting Karsh's shoulder and shoving him harshly away. It was like pushing against a brick wall; the Deva did not yeild even a little, and Norris recoiled from the physical contact, hating and even fearing the warmth that rushed through him. Of all the people he had met in his life, why should it be this man, this impossible, stubborn, arrogant man that stirred him? "Go away, Karsh," he muttered, curling again beneath his blankets.

"Look me in the eye and say it," the Deva replied, his voice low and steady. "Look me in the eye and say it and I'll go." It was a fair request and Norris hated him for it, knowing very well that he couldn't do any such thing, knowing that if he turned to face Karsh again his resolve would melt away. ~Perhaps~, he considered, ~that might not be such a terrible thing. Would it be so horrible to be loved, even if only for a short while?~ And he answered himself fiercely, yes. Yes, it would be horrible. Not because it would end, though. Not because the entire romance was doomed from the start, but because Norris knew that if he allowed himself even a moment of vulnerability with Karsh, he would never be able to recover the steely determination that had driven him all his life. Always, he would be peering over his shoulder and tossing in his sleep, haunted by those beautiful, perilous eyes.

So he was silent, back turned to Karsh. His breathing evenut tut though he did not sleep, and eventually Karsh left without another word. Norris listened to the Dragoon's heavy footfalls as they retreated and, when the sound no longer reached his ears, he closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.