To Break a Hero

Some days, Kaidan couldn’t even really remember Shepard anymore.

He had built Shepard up in his mind as the ideal woman, his hero, his savior, embellishing his memories of her with a faith that she would come and find him. 

Because the alternative - that he was destined to become a tool of Cerberus, the way he’d seen Shepard on Horizon - was almost too terrifying to contemplate.

He tried to keep the memories fresh. Tried to conjure up every bit of detail of the time they’d had together, before and after Ilos. He wasn’t sure how much of that was real and how much was fake, anymore.

It didn’t matter. It wasn’t working the way it was supposed to. Kaidan was losing ground to Shadow-Kaidan every day that passed, and Shepard was still under arrest on Earth. He’d found a handful of news stories relating to his disappearance back when it had first happened, but they all included something along the lines of “no leads”.

Worse, Kaidan looked forward to Eva’s visits - and not just for the contact with another human being. He wanted her, sometimes so badly that just the thought of her had him reaching towards his hardening cock. Sometimes after sex he just stared at her face, feeling a rush of giddiness as he thought about this woman choosing to be with him. At those times, he felt as though he could just stare at her for hours.

At other times, he remembered Shepard, and missed her painfully. With her it had been laughter and companionship. Eva dominated him - there really was no other word for it. All his capacity for rational thought went out the window as soon as she stepped into his cell. He was putty in her hands, responsive to her every word and gesture. Everything about her was wonderful, magnificent, deserving of worship…

Kaidan jerked out of his reverie to find that his hand had already moved down to start stroking his cock. He groaned, partially from the lust swimming through him, and partially over the knowledge that she had made him like this. He tried to summon up Shepard’s face, her voice, but Eva kept drifting into his mind instead. You’re mine, Kaidan, she whispered to him, a sensation as acute as though she was standing right behind him. Body and soul, you are mine to do with as I please. Submit to me. Once you do, I’ll show you even more than you could have ever dreamed of … the things I can do for you, Kaidan.

He didn’t know if that was indoctrination, or his own fractured mind putting words in her mouth. Neither option was an appealing one.

“Kaidan.”

His head whipped around at the sound of Eva’s voice - when had she come in? She smiled at him, which finished the job his earlier reverie had started, his erection visible through his pants.

“Such a welcome,” she murmured, approaching him and running a hand down the side of his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, enjoying the intimacy. 

No. No. This isn’t right. Don’t give in to her.

Alliance-Kaidan was stubborn and didn’t know when he was beaten. Kaidan did his best to ignore him, the vestige of the person he used to be. He smiled at Eva adoringly.

Shepard…

Shepard abandoned us. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here. I suppose I should thank you for that … I’d never have been here if it wasn’t for the fact that you loved her.

When did we become a we? Alliance-Kaidan asked.

The minute you were carried through the door, I was born. I’ve been growing ever since, controlling more of your mind. My mind, really. Your time is done.

No! Alliance-Kaidan raged. Fuck. No. Get out of my head, you asshole. Stop this. Stop giving into her.

No, you get out of my head, Kaidan thought. While the battle was raging inside his head, Eva had continued stroking his body, moving her hands up and down while he just stood there. He’d have been concerned, except that the last time this had happened she’d commented on how much she liked the glassy-eyed look. 

She was standing behind him. She’d gotten his pants off and was cupping his balls with one hand, her thumb tracing a circle around the base of his cock. Her lips were by his ear, and he realized she’d been talking to him for a while. He forced himself to focus enough to listen. “Just submit, Kaidan,” she said. “You’re already mine. Once you acknowledge that, there are so many other things I can do… so many other ways I can give you pleasure.”

No. Never.

Kaidan ignored the other him. “Yes,” he whispered.

Eva’s hand stilled, then gripped his balls tighter. “Say it again. Properly, this time.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he said, making his voice as loud and firm as he could, so she would know that he had surrendered to her. With those two words, Alliance-Kaidan was beaten forever.

Eva’s hand moved away from his cock, and he whimpered at the loss of contact - but forgot his sorrow a minute later, when she came to stand in front of him, naked, and pulled him in for a fierce kiss. “Such a good boy,” she said when she broke off the kiss, making him shiver in delight. “I think you deserve a reward for that. Lie down on the bed.”

He obeyed her, his eyes wide as he tracked her progress towards the bed. Her hips swayed as she stalked towards him. She ran a hand up his thigh, and then down the other one, her nails digging into his skin. “Say it again,” she commanded him.

“Mistress,” he gasped out. “Please.”

“Please, what?” she asked him, teasingly.

“Please fuck me,” he said in between gasps. “I … I need you.”

“Oh, Kaidan,” she said. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

She straddled him, her movements fluid, and took him inside her. Kaidan closed his eyes, his hands clutching at the sheets, as she rode him. He wanted to reach up and caress her breasts, but he was trapped by the overwhelming pleasure he was receiving from her. She’d fucked him in this position before, but this was different. There had been two Kaidans before, and now it seemed as though there were two Evas, the one that was riding him, and the one that was talking to him in the back of his mind. Such a good boy. Every breath brings you closer to climax, heightens your pleasure even more …

He wasn’t fully paying attention to either of them, too caught up in what his body was experiencing. He was sure that he couldn’t last much longer; was surprised that he hadn’t already …

“Come for me, Kaidan.”

He did, arching his back and crying out as he spent himself inside her. His breath came in ragged gasps as his hands finally found her body, grasping her outer thighs tightly. 

"Good boy," she said when his body had stilled. "Now, fuck me again. Show me the depth of your devotion to me."

"Anything for you," he said after catching his breath. He reached up, and flipped them over so that she was on her back. He wanted her, oh God, did he, and she had given him permission to take her. He looked at her face and saw a satisfied smile there.

Kaidan Alenko set about pleasing his Mistress.

CONFIDENTIAL - For Cerberus Operatives with Level 9 Clearance or higher

FROM: Dr. Eva Coré

TO: The Illusive Man

I am pleased to report that Kaidan Alenko has been broken completely. He is ready for the next stage of programming and training. 

FROM: The Illusive Man

TO: Dr. Eva Coré

I’m glad to hear it. Make sure you keep an eye on him - it’s not that I doubt you, but I don’t want to risk losing him because we take his indoctrination for granted. I have many things planned for Alenko.