Can't Let You Go

                Almost two months had passed with Anders and Douglas seeing each other several times a week for lunch and dinner and spending most of their weekends together.  After the first rejection, Anders no longer made any of what he thought were unwanted advances, but they both enjoyed the company and continued seeing each other much to Douglas' relief, having loved being with the generous doctor even if it did mean some cancelations and interruptions.  Luckily, the office maintained nearly normal hours, which meant that even though the rule did not apply to workdays for staying "normal", Anders did usually take his weekends to recuperate.

                They were standing on the balcony of the club on a Friday night, Isabela close to the rail and Varric sitting in a chair with Bianca in his lap while Fenris stood in the shadows, his olive eyes watchful.

                Bianca told Isabela, "Our dresses for the benefit are back from fitting.  I have a meeting with the designers on Monday.  Do you want to come with me?"

                "Absolutely."

                Varric interjected, "Baby, I'm glad you get your clothes for free; I can only imagine what it would actually cost me."  He looked over Douglas, "I guess I could ask Hawke."

                Douglas laughed, "You don't want to know."

                Varric chuckled back, "Probably not."

                Bianca asked, "Who are you taking this year, Douglas?  Maybe she can go with us."

                Douglas cleared his throat, knowing Bianca was a smart woman, but she really did have her moments.  He tried to answer barely loud enough to be heard over the music playing but there was a pause between songs and it sounded like he shouted, "I thought about going stag this year."

                 The balcony erupted in laughter at his statement and Douglas just smiled widely, expertly masking his embarrassment, a couple of people saying, "Ya, right." 

                Luckily, Isabela distracted everyone when she squealed loudly in delight and tore across the balcony toward the stairs.  Douglas looked over, and the crowed had parted as a man in big, black boots, form fitting, black jeans, black leather suit vest over a maroon dress shirt with sleeves rolled up and unbuttoned to the vest, his silvery-white hair still looking like he had just rolled out of bed.  Douglas' and the man's eyes locked for a moment before the man was pounced upon by Isabela, wrapping her arms and legs around him and latching on to his face with her lips. 

                Douglas signaled the DJ, pointing at the couple and turned his attention back to Anders.  "So, I was going to ask you if wanted to go to a benefit gala with me.  It's at the end of the month and I know it's a bit last minute so I planned on going alone if you couldn't make it."

                "You don't have to go alone."

                Douglas swallowed; he didn't want to go with anyone else.  He started to ramble, "I was hoping if you went we could chat with some of the attendees about your clinic and you would be doing me a large favor, a tux is so much cheaper than dressing a woman…"

                Anders reached up to touch his cheek with a smirk, "You don't have to go alone."  Douglas smiled back and Anders raised an eyebrow with the twisted grin still firmly in place.  "Did you think I was giving you permission to go with someone else?"

                "I was sincerely hoping not," grabbing the hand on his cheek and bringing to his lips for a quick kiss and another smile.  Douglas turned to Bianca, "It appears I will not being going stag after all."

                "Brilliant," she turned to Anders, "Do you want to go with us Monday?"

                "Sorry, I have to work."

                Bianca pouted back.

                Douglas told Anders cheerily, almost too excitedly, "Don't worry; I'll take care of everything."

                After the first few beats of the next song started playing, Douglas quickly moved to Anders' side and pulled him a few feet away from the railing as everyone else besides Varric and Bianca moved toward it.  Varric signaled the waitress now free from other patrons and ordered a round of drinks for the four of them as the other people ogled the spectacle on the floor.

                "What's going on?"  Anders asked.

                "Pfaugh," Douglas grimaced, "I don't want to think about it.  Look if you must."

                Anders looked at Varric and Bianca who were smiling knowingly.  Amber eyes grew wide as the words of the song started: You let me violate you...  You let me desecrate you...  You let me penetrate you...  You let me complicate you...  "Okay, I have to look now."

                Douglas waved toward the railing in dismissal, trying not to cringe, and Anders went to take a look.  Varric and Bianca laughed at Hawke, knowing very well themselves what was going on below.  Douglas watched Anders' wide eyes grow even wider, and Hawke moved closer, keeping his back to the floor.  Anders looked at him in amused shock.  "I didn't know you could even do something like that in a vertical position."

                "Apparently they can."

                "Who is that with Isabela?"

                "My cousin," Douglas said in a growl barely audible. 

                "You never mentioned you had a cousin before."

                "I know."  The waitress brought the drinks and Douglas took both his and Anders' who was still watching the couple on the floor in amazement.  Douglas swallowed his drink in one large gulp as soon as it was handed over, giving back the glass and ordering a double.  He had once had the misfortune of being entranced by the "dance" downstairs; it had been like a train wreck he was unable to tear his eyes away from and now the scene was unfortunately seared into his mind.  Everyone else enjoyed it, of course, but to Douglas it was his family, his best friend, his ex, his first, his club and a very long song.

                Douglas tapped Anders on the shoulder and handed him his drink then headed back to where Varric and Bianca were now slobbering all over each other.  Douglas rolled his eyes.  He caught Fenris snickering from the shadows and gave the bodyguard a dirty look, not that that stopped the other man only encouraging more chuckles.

                The song mercifully ended several minutes later and the railing cleared for the most part, but the two downstairs would keep up their dancing for a while.  That song was theirs and the floor always cleared partially when it played, but now the floor would become an entanglement of bodies with Isabela and her man in the middle of it. 

                Anders rejoined him and from the expression still on Douglas's face asked, "If you don't like it, why let them do it?"

                Douglas huffed a small laugh before stating matter-of-factly, "It's good for business."  People tended to stay longer and drink a lot more on nights Isabela was on the floor.

                The four chatted for near an hour, but Anders was itching to dance himself, his hips moving to the songs playing in the background.  Bianca got up, sharing Anders' mood, and they danced together while Douglas and Varric talked.  Douglas said, "We're going to need you to come with us Tuesday afternoon.  They wanted to meet over lunch at noon."

                "Alright, I'll meet you at the estate in the morning.  That way Bianca can hang out with Isabela."

                "They'll have a lot to talk about.  You know… benefits and costumes," Douglas smirked.

                "No kidding."  The two laughed, knowing that wouldn't be the only thing they talked about.  The women weren't always left at home.

                Douglas looked at Anders with a frown.  Bianca and Isabela fit in with these men, but he didn't.  Varric followed the direction of the gaze and asked, "Have you had any more problems with Howe?"

                Douglas turned back to Varric, "No."

                "That's good.  I don't know if you are going to be able to hide this from him much longer."

                Douglas raised an eyebrow.  "You doubt my powers of persuasion?"

                "Of course not, but I think he knows us well enough to know something is up that we're not telling him."

                "Let me worry about them."

                "Alright, but Bianca and I are here if you need us."

                Douglas nodded and turned back to watching Anders dance.  "I think it's time to reclaim our partners."

                "Right behind you, Hawke."

                The men finished their drinks and moved to the railing toward their dates, Douglas placing his hands on Anders' hips and nuzzling his neck.  They leaned into each other, their bodies moving together to the beat for a few songs when teeth started grazing the blonde stubbled jaw and bared neck.  Tongue and teeth teased the ear lobe with a whispered plea of, "Kiss me," into Anders' ear.

                Lips desperately sought each other as the blonde turned around and arms clasped their bodies together, kissing hungrily.  Suddenly, there was a lot of cheering spreading throughout the club that stopped the display of affection.  Douglas looked around to find everyone was looking at them and Anders cheeks turned red from the attention.

                Varric announced, "Congratulations, Blondie!  Another first!  Hawke has owned this club for seven years and that was the first time he had kissed anyone besides politely on the cheek!"

                "Oh, God," Douglas looked at Anders apologetically and released him, "I'm so sorry."

                Anders cheeks were still burning, but he chuckled, reaching up and running his fingers through short, black hair.  Shaking his head, he replied, "I'm not," and pulled Douglas into another kiss.

                Douglas' heart leapt and he brought Anders back against him and they tried to ignore the second round of cheering, but it quickly got the best of them and they started laughing with foreheads pressed together. 

                Varric ordered another round of alcohol in celebration, the four happily chatting with their drinks when the people on the balcony parted and grew quiet.  A maroon shirt now devoid of buttons to properly cover the tan, muscular chest beneath with leather vest also hanging loose, and silvery-white hair looking more disheveled than it had before made their way towards Douglas determinedly.  Isabela followed a couple of feet behind, looking completely wrecked herself.

                Varric mumbled a "Shit," as he and Bianca took a few steps back.

                Douglas squared off against the man with Anders at his side trying to figure out what was going on.  The man stopped in front of them, and even though he and Douglas were the same height, the presence of the one in maroon felt like he was ten feet tall and bulletproof.  He looked Anders up and down before spitting out, "Who the hell is this?"

                Douglas placed an arm around the blonde's shoulders, pulling him close.  "So much for polite introductions."

                "Answer the question."

                Douglas looked him over.  "You know, with the way you two go through buttons, you really should just have Velcro added to your clothing."  The thick four inch scar along the man's cheekbone twitched in warning and Douglas smirked before adding, "This is Anders.  Anders, this is Fellon Hawke."

                Anders extended a hand.  "Nice to meet you."

                Fellon looked at the offered hand in disdain but Douglas laughed, saying, "I'd bet it's been a long time since you last heard that."

                Fellon looked back to Douglas.  "Office.  Now," and turned without waiting for a response.

                Douglas glared at his back.  "A please would have been nice!" then he laughed at his own joke, "Please...  Nice...  Right..."  He looked at Anders and gave him a peck on the lips.  "I'll be right back."  Douglas looked at Isabela as he passed her and she shrugged in confusion herself.  Douglas made his way to his office, shutting the door behind him.

                Fellon snarled, "I am beginning to wonder if you really are just a pretty face."

                Douglas raised an eyebrow, "Thanks?"  He crossed his arms over his chest, "Although, I was beginning to wonder if you are just a testosterone fueled slut."

                "That's the point."

                Douglas' eyebrow arched higher, "What is?"

                "I'm out there working while you are up here tying yourself down to one blond bimbo."

                Douglas growled back, "Watch what you say about Anders."

                "I'll say whatever the fuck I want."

                 "Did you honestly expect me to stay single forever?"

                "No, but it has to appear that way.  Or at least as long as you still have that pretty face and before I have to hire someone else."

                "Was that a threat?"

                "You know I don't make threats, but I was referring to the fact you won't be young forever."

                "Oh, you never know, I might run into a vampire or something."

                Fellon smirked, "I couldn't buy a break like that on discount."

                Douglas forgot himself and laughed, "Me either."

                Fellon went serious again, "I don't care what you do behind closed doors, but I do care about your public image.  Fix it," and with that Fellon left.

                Douglas let out an exasperated sigh with a roll of his eyes before following suit.  Fellon and Isabela left shortly after the "conversation" and Douglas returned to Anders, obviously now concerned he was causing some kind of problem, but was assured it was just business with the club.  They had a few more drinks, Douglas trying to calm his frustrations, but Anders finally told him he was getting tired after having worked that day. 

                They went to Douglas' office to collect his things before they headed out to the car.  Douglas closed the door behind them out of habit and as he walked past Anders he caught a whiff of the other man's cologne.  Eyes rolled back in lust and he turned, crushing the blonde to him and devouring the sweet lips.  A hand twisted in blond hair, tilting the head back as teeth skimmed across the throat, before gently tugging the head to the side and using teeth more liberally on the side of the neck.

                Anders' moans egged Douglas on, his free hand pressing the other man into his own hips and kneading the firm backside.  Douglas walked Anders backward toward the desk, leaning him into it and recapturing his lips, teasing them lightly with his teeth while wrestling tongues battled for dominance.  Douglas tugged at Anders' green pullover, raising it high enough to reach underneath and feel the warm, muscled back.

                Damn Nathaniel and Damn Fellon, he thought and moved his hands to Anders' belt, kissing the sweet lips more hungrily.  He pulled on the leather strap, freeing the excess from the jeans loops and as he started to unbuckle it a hand reached down and stopped him, Anders pulling away.

                "Douglas, wait," Anders was breathing heavily, "are you sure this is a good idea?  There has been quite a bit of drinking tonight."

                Douglas was breathing just as heavily, searching Anders' eyes.  He was slightly buzzed but he wasn't drunk, but maybe Anders was; besides bent over a desk isn't exactly what he had in mind for their first time together.  He stood up and took a step back.  "You're right, I'm sorry."  He quickly walked toward the door, saying over his shoulder, "I'll have the car take you home."

                 "Douglas, that's not..." but he didn't wait to hear the rest, too embarrassed to face Anders and unable to trust himself to see the other man home.

 

*   *   *

                Douglas had been summoned to The Blooming Rose on Sunday afternoon, and after Serendipity greeted him, he walked to the back room where he knew Fellon would be.  He knocked on the door, not wanting to walk in on something, which with Fellon was highly possible.  He was granted access, but rolled his eyes with what his eyes were greeted with.

                Fellon was sitting on the couch in a pair of faded, ripped jeans with his belt undone and his red button down shirt fully open.  Two women on either side of him were nibbling his ears with his arms across their shoulders and Isabela was straddling his lap, attached to his neck.

                Of course, they didn't stop when he entered, and Douglas cringed, "I'm sure you called me here for a reason; I'm not much into this spectator sport."

                Fellon answered, "What part of taking him to the benefit is fixing it?"

                "I asked him before you said that; I am not breaking a date."

                "You will and you’re taking a woman."

                Douglas raised an eyebrow.  "I'm not and I am going with a man."

                Fellon’s eye twitched faintly, before one brow arched.  "Are you having trouble finding a date?  Any of the ladies here at the Rose would be thrilled to be hanging off your arm.”  He trailed fingertips up and down one girl’s arm, eliciting a giggle.  “Right, ladies?”

                "Anything for you, honey badger," came the reply, almost in perfect unison, making Fellon smirk faintly.

                Douglas looked ill, "No, thank you, I already have a date."

                "You’re not taking another man,” Fellon maintained.  “Not with a conservative crowd like that."

                "You think I don't know that?  Do you doubt me now?"

                Fellon studied him for a moment, "I never have before, but you’re going to slit your own throat.”            "I have taken a different woman for the past six years, by taking a man this time it proves more availability and that I am open to such possibilities."

                Isabela added, "He's right," agreeing with Douglas.

                Fellon frowned at them both, muttering to Bela, "Just whose side are you on?"  When Isabela just gave a smile, he sighed, and pinned Douglas with a cool stare, “And what’s the plan for introducing him to the less-than-liberals?”

                "He's just a friend that's a doctor of a free clinic, proving what generous, giving people we are to help such a man.  It is a benefit after all."

                "Uh huh," Fellon still didn't sound convinced.

                Isabela said, "I know there are quite a few men that have been eyeing him, even some married ones.  Just let him take Anders."  She lowered her lips to Fellon's nipple ring, giving it a wash with her tongue before tugging it with her teeth and Fellon gave a low growl while Douglas tried not to vomit at her method of persuasion.

                Fellon looked at Douglas with pursed lips.  "Fine, just don't fuck it up."

                "Have I ever?"  Fellon didn't answer, clearly done with the conversation, turning his attention to the three women.  "Right, I am going to go now before I throw up."  Douglas left while shaking his head.

 

 

*   *   *

 

                "How did the fitting go?"

                "Good.  Just the jewelry, hair, and make-up to go.  What about Anders?"

                "Not hard to pick out a tux for a black tie.  I took him to the tailor Monday night."

                "You found a tailor open at night?"

                "You are joking.  For me, they'd be open all night."  Douglas laughed.

                She rolled her eyes.  "True..."  Her phone rang, cutting off any further retort.  "Hello?"  She looked at Douglas, "Actually, I am with him right now.  ...  Hang on a second."  She placed her phone down on the desk, pushing the speaker button.  "Go ahead."

                "Hawke?"  There was a tiny voice on the other side.

                "Hi, Merrill.  How are you, doll?"  The woman on the phone giggled and Douglas gave Isabela a wink.

                "I'm good.  How are you?"

                "Better now that I'm talking to you.  What's up?"

                "I can't talk long, but I was calling to let you know we went over every scrap of evidence in Lilley's murder case again, and we didn't find anything linking it to you this time."  Merrill was a forensic scientist, the city's DNA specialist.

                Douglas let out a major sigh of relief as did Isabela and he said, "That is very good news."

                "You should have seen their faces, Hawke.  They were so angry," Merrill giggled.

                "I can imagine.  Thanks, Merrill."

                "Anytime, Hawke."

                Isabela picked up the phone again, "Thanks for letting us know.  ...  Alright, tomorrow for lunch.  ...  Goodbye, kitten."

                Douglas leaned back in the chair, his hands over his eyes in an attempt to hide the mounting tears of relief.

                Isabela came around the desk and kissed his cheek.  "Very good news, babe."  There was a nod in response.  "Celebratory drink?"

                "Yes."  They knew unless the police had cold, hard proof he had committed the crime, they wouldn't come after him.  Douglas had way too many friends and a very good legal team.  They didn't even bother to write him speeding tickets anymore.  Douglas let out another sigh of relief, maybe he wouldn't need to just dream about conjugal visits.

---

Song mentioned: Nine Inch Nails - Closer