Skywalkers

5: Stay

"Holy Ifrit with a flamethrower!"

The knife slipped from Leon's hand and spun across the counter to the floor. A good thing, too, or he might have sliced off one of his fingers. He turned on his heel and shouted into the living room at Cloud, "What's the matter?"

"That dog can talk!"

It took Leon a minute to understand, but once he had, he could barely stand from laughing. "It's just a commercial, Cloud," he managed to yell.

"But it's singing! The puppy is singing about not having fleas!"

Leon had to grip the edge of the counter to keep from falling over. A minute or so later, Cloud appeared in the doorway, glaring at him darkly.

"You're laughing at me."

After several unsuccessful attempts at speaking, Leon settled for nodding to say that, yes, he was indeed laughing at Cloud.

The revelation of Cloud's secret had changed everything. Not their relationship, that had pretty much stayed the same. But now the blond no longer had to hide the fact that he basically knew nothing about half the gadgets in Leon's house. The TV and computer he understood, but the actual programming on the set, especially the commercials, boggled his mind. The kitchen gadgets fascinated him, too. In particular, the can opener had hypnotized him. Leon had walked outside in his usual manner to fetch the morning paper, and by the time he had returned, Cloud had opened two cans of cream of chicken soup, three cans of stewed tomatoes, one can of kernel corn, and a can of tuna.

"So the puppy can't really sing?" the blond asked sadly after Leon had explained.

"No, Cloud."

"It's all just camera tricks?"

"Yes, Cloud."

He crossed his arms over his chest and positively pouted. "Well, that's disappointing."

Leon couldn't help himself; he started laughing again. It was just too adorable. Up until then, Leon had only seen the harsh side of Cloud. The side with a gaze so piercing and sharp that it could slice through steel. But to see those exact same eyes widening and softening with wonder at the small spinny wheel that could cut through metal or the little lab that sang about the wonders of its medication … . Leon could think of no other word; Cloud was damnably cute.

"Are you quite finished?" Cloud asked once Leon had yet again regained control of himself.

"Yes. This time I think I am."

"Good. I need you to come back and explain these penalty things to me again." He reached out, grabbed one of the nachos that Leon had been making, and popped it into his mouth.

"Don't eat that yet!" Leon cried, shooing his hand away as it tried to grab another. "I haven't cooked them!"

"They still taste good."

Sighing, he bent down to pick up the knife that had escaped from him and threw it into the sink with a clatter. As he searched for another that was about the same size, he asked, "What don't you understand?"

"Why is it called one thing if the team with the ball twitches, but it's called something else if the team without the ball twitches?"

"Because it's an entirely different rule," he answered with a small smile. He had introduced Cloud to football. The other man had been quite interested in the sport, but the exact details of the rules eluded him. He didn't understand why they didn't just crash into each other until one team couldn't move anymore. That sport, Leon had told him, was called rugby.

As he began cutting onions again, Leon explained, "The offensive line isn't allowed to move at all, so if they twitch, it's called a false start. The defensive line is allowed some movement, but they aren't allowed into the no-man's-land in between the lines where the ball sits. If a defensive linesman jumps into that space and doesn't get back before the ball is snapped, that's called offsides."

"Oh."

Leon smiled to himself. He had come to understand Cloud so much better in such a short time. For instance, he knew that, similar to his brother, Cloud used the word "oh" as more than a simple interjection. When Cloud said "oh" with that tone of voice, it meant "I understand, and I have no further questions at the moment." And when he had a question or a statement that he wasn't sure he should voice, he would chew his lip a little and gaze off into space.

And he could be very, very sneaky if he wanted something he wasn't supposed to have.

In one fluid movement, Leon put down the knife, picked up a wooden spoon that sat in a nearby canister, and thwacked the hand that had been moving slowly, oh so slowly, towards the cookie sheet that held the nachos. Cloud yelped loudly and snatched it back.

"I said no."

"It's not my fault your cooking is so good!" the blond protested, nursing his hand which had begun to turn a little red. "It's really your fault if you think about it."

"If you can't contain yourself, get the hell out of my kitchen."

A mischievous glint entered the blond's eyes; too late Leon realized he had set himself up. Cloud's hands shot out and snatched up a pair of oven mitts. Within seconds, they were talking to each other.

"Oh, my darling Georgiana, I simply cannot contain myself any longer! I must have you!

"No, Frederick, no! I am but a lowly milkmaid. Think of your status, your family! You cannot throw it all away for a poor creature such as I!

"I can, and I shall! I would give anything for one taste of your milky skin, one little nibble of your honeyed lips, one dip into your forbidden depths!

"Oh, Frederick!

"Georgiana!"

The two oven mitts proceeded to smooch each other mercilessly in what was supposed to be a fit of passion.

Leon's sides were killing him; tears streamed down his face. Never in his life had he imagined he would be treated to a dramatic reenactment of one of his novels courtesy of a pair of red paisley-patterned puppets and one fiendish, bratty blond. Unable to take any more, he pulled a saucer plate out of the cabinets, placed four uncooked nachos on it, and thrust it at him.

"Take it! Now get out of here before I die."

Cloud bowed slightly and accepted the plate. Grinning broadly, he put down one mitt and said to the other, "Come on, Frederick. Let's go watch football." He wandered out of the kitchen with a definite spring in his step, leaving Leon to wipe the tears out of his eyes and massage the pain out of his sides.

Finally free of distractions, Leon managed to finish cooking relatively quickly and joined the other in the living room. Cloud had curled up on the couch with "Frederick" in his lap. As Leon settled down on the other end, placing a plate of properly-done nachos down on the coffee table in front of them, the blond jumped suddenly, pointed to the TV, and cried, "False start!" He turned a beaming smile briefly to Leon and announced, "I saw it that time!"

"Good for you," Leon returned, unable to stop his own smile.

Cloud immediately went back to watching the game, clutching the oven mitt during the exciting plays, but Leon found himself unable to take his eyes away from his companion. He didn't particularly care about either of the teams, so the game didn't interest him that much. Instead, he found himself watching the changes in the other's expression - the way his eyes lit up when a receiver made a spectacular catch, how he would cringe in sympathy when the quarterback got sacked or someone got hit particularly hard, the confusion in his face when the officials called a penalty he didn't quite understand yet. It was fascinating, like watching a child experience something amazing and fun for the first time.

Halftime came before Leon knew it, and he realized to his shock that he didn't even know what the score was. Nor had he bothered to eat a single nacho; Cloud had devoured them all. Sighing slightly, Leon rose and took the empty plate to the kitchen.

He returned to find that the blond had muted the chatting sportscasters on the TV and had pulled out his PHS. The intent look of concentration on his face was so different from the childlike happiness that had been there only moments before. As Leon approached, Cloud did not try to hide the screen from him as he had done all the previous times. Intrigued and excited that he would finally be allowed to share this part of the blond's world, Leon sat down beside him, close enough to look over his shoulder.

The image on the screen looked like some sort of super-complicated connect-the-dots puzzle. Dots and lines covered almost every inch of space. It looked like an incomprehensible mess to Leon. When he looked a bit closer, he noticed that most of the dots were connected by at least one line, but a few of them sat unconnected. This observation meant nothing to him, however.

"Explain this thing to me, would you?"

Cloud's eyes flicked over to him briefly and then back again to the screen. "Yeah, sure. I'm currently checking the path to see what the activity is like. Hold on." He used the buttons on the machine to scroll the image around until he found what he wanted. Another push magnified the image, and Leon saw that each dot was labeled and that much smaller dots were flickering along the lines. "These big dots are the individual folds. This is where I was living up until a week ago. H926SE1. And this …" The image scrolled madly again for a moment. When it stopped, no flickering dots surrounded the main one. "This is where I was born. M285SS4. Notice how no one is walking around it. That's because there's nothing there anymore, just space."

"How many Skywalkers are there?"

"Somewhere around a hundred. Definitely not more. I've heard that there used to be thousands, but very few people choose to become one anymore. The process is just too painful." He grimaced as if in memory, but the emotion fled as quickly as it had appeared.

Leon let his eyes run over the profile that had completely closed down. "What is the process?" he asked quietly.

Cloud turned at that and met his eyes. They looked at each other for a moment; then, Cloud turned away again and said, "You have enough nightmares already."

"Cloud …"

"Skywalking isn't really that hard once you learn how," he continued, ignoring Leon. "The appeal wears off pretty quickly, though. I mean, what's the point of jumping around from dimension to dimension? People should just stay where they are and build lives for themselves. That's what I think."

Leon exhaled gently at the rebuff but decided to let it go for now. "Can you jump in time or just in space?" he asked.

A little smirk flittered over the other's face. "A time walk is theoretically possible, but no one who's tried it has ever come back. No one tries it anymore."

"I see."

Cloud's fingers flew over the buttons, and another dot appeared in the center of the screen. "And here we have this fold. E714SS9. It's pretty far away from where most of the others like to wa-" His voice stopped abruptly, and his eyes widened. Concerned, Leon immediately looked down at the screen and saw it: two flickering dots approaching the large one from one of the lines.

"Oh gods …" Cloud whispered. His face had paled dramatically, and his hands began to tremble. "Don't stop … Keep on going … Please …" His voice was strained and so very vulnerable. Leon felt his own fear exploding within him. He leaned a bit closer, pushing his elbow onto the back of the couch and resting his hand on Cloud's shoulder. They both watched the small dots move at a steady, heart-paralyzing pace.

"Don't … don't stop …" Cloud continued to pray to whoever would listen. "Please … dear gods, please …"

The dots moved directly on top of the large one … and kept on going.

The PHS tumbled from Cloud's grip and hit the floor with a dull thud. He buried his face in his hands; his arms and shoulders began to tremble as he gasped for breath. Leon realized that he still had his hand on the other's shoulder and that he had gripped it tightly in his own fear. He loosened his grip and made to take the hand away, but one of Cloud's hands reached up before he could and held it there. His other hand stayed over his face as he released his panic in chopped, shaky breaths and small throaty sounds halfway between a sob and a moan.

Leon waited. Cloud's insistence that he stay right where he was surprised him, but he was very happy to comply. In truth, he felt so damn protective of the blond right then that he would have been glad to wrap him up entirely in his arms, but he knew the other would never submit to such coddling. It would have been insulting to him. So instead, Leon would settle for this and try to pour as much comfort as he could into the simple contact.

Eventually, Cloud managed to get himself under control and the shaking stopped. Both of his hands fell to his lap at the same time, and his head leaned back onto the top of the couch where he let it rest, eyes closed. Even though his hand had been released, Leon did not move it. Cloud, he felt, still needed his comfort, and he'd give it until he was told to back off.

After a few minutes of silence, Cloud took a breath a bit larger than the rest and murmured, "Leon?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

"I know. It's okay to be scared."

To his surprise, a single tear appeared at the corner of Cloud's eye. It hung there for a moment, then broke free and began to slide down his face.

"I have a confession to make," he whispered. Slowly, his eyes opened, and Leon's heart twisted at the sight of the misery that lay within them.

He squeezed his fingers on Cloud's shoulder gently. "I'll listen."

"I'm not really stuck."

"Not stuck?"

"No." More tears spilled over the edges and followed the path of the first one. "All I have to do is take the treatment again, and the wing will grow back. It's all there in my PHS. I just have to take it. But, oh gods …" He lifted a hand and pressed it, clenched into a fist, against his forehead. "It hurts, Leon. It hurts so much, and it's not just physical pain. It leaves scars on your soul. And I never wanted it in the first place. I … I just want … I want to tear the other one out, too, and live a normal life! I don't want to do this anymore! But if I stay here … if I stay and they find me …"

All of a sudden, he lurched forward violently, escaping Leon's touch in the process, and pressed the heels of both hands against his eyes. "I'm such a coward," he cried. "I'm such a fucking coward!"

"Why?" Leon demanded, no longer able to remain silent. "Because you don't want to put yourself through pain to continue on in a life you hate? Because you want something better instead? How is that being a coward?"

"Because I'm putting you in danger, too."

The words, spoken so softly and sadly, stopped Leon's heart. Cloud had dropped his hands, and now he sat there, staring dully at the floor. Leon gazed at him, stunned.

"Danger?" he breathed.

"Yeah. Some of the people who are looking for me, they're not exactly nice. Or all that sane."

"And you think they might hurt me because I'm sheltering you."

"It's a real possibility." He turned his head to Leon and met his eyes. The sheer emptiness in his gaze made Leon's chest ache. "And that's why I should just do it. Get a new wing and keep on moving. So that, if they do track me here, you'll be safe at least."

"And what about you? Are you going to jump from place to place for the rest of your life? Are you going to live in a perpetual state of fear, never having peace?" When Cloud shrugged, Leon shook his head and stated forcefully, "I won't stand for that. You deserve better."

"Maybe, but we don't always get what we deserve. The universe doesn't always work that way."

"I don't give a shit. Look, Cloud …" He reached out and placed a hand on the other's knee. "This may sound strange, but in the past week, you've gone from being a complete stranger to being quite possibly the best friend I've had in my life. And because of that, there is no way this side of Hell that I'm going to let you sacrifice your happiness just to protect me. You don't want to take the treatment again? Then don't take it. Stay here and build a life for yourself."

Cloud's hands were shaking again, and one of them laid itself carefully over Leon's even as his head turned away once more. "I feel the same way, you know," he said softly. "That we've been friends our whole lives. That's why if something ever happened to you, and it was because of me …" His free hand came up to cover his eyes again.

"How many folds are there?"

The abruptness of the question made Cloud jump slightly. He dropped his hand and turned to look at Leon's serious face. "Millions," he replied after a moment.

"Is there more than one way into this fold, or does my house sit on some kind of cosmic Hellmouth?"

"There's more than one way. You can pretty much enter wherever you want."

"So if you succeeded in not leaving a fingerprint, just what is the chance that someone will come here looking for you?"

The blond's eyes unfocused for a bit as his mind considered this. "It's very slim," he admitted. "But Leon -"

"Do you want to leave?"

"No," the other replied immediately. "I don't. I don't want to run anymore. I want …" He broke off and faced the floor yet again. "I want to stay here. With you."

"Then stay."

Cloud closed his eyes and nodded. He had held Leon's hand this entire time, and now he lifted it from his knee and brought it to his face. The other hand joined the first, and together they bent Leon's fingers down and pulled them close so that the backs were lightly touching Cloud's forehead. For a long time, he simply sat there with closed eyes, breathing in and out slowly and carefully.

For his part, Leon was extremely glad that Cloud needed a moment to think. His stomach was flipping and fluttering again, and he was trying with all his might to make it stop. And if that weren't enough, his hands and arms were positively itching to gather the blond up and hold him. He even wanted to rain kisses down on the top of the other's head like he used to do whenever Rinoa needed comfort. But Cloud wasn't Rinoa, the biggest difference being that Cloud was a man. A man with enough personal strength and self-respect that having Leon treat him like his wife would infuriate him. And really, where are all these touchy-feely urges coming from? Am I really that starved for human contact?

Cloud's fingers released Leon's hand, and he sat up a bit straighter. "All right," the whispered answer came. "I'll stay."

"And not because you're a coward," Leon prompted, returning his hand to the blond's knee. Why he didn't take it back completely, he didn't really know.

"And not because I'm a coward," Cloud echoed with a small smile. "Because I want to." His eyes lifted, and the smile widened slightly. "Offsides."

"What?" Leon glanced at the TV. He had forgotten that it was still on. Sure enough, the score in the corner sported the small yellow "FLAG" graphic, and as the play ended, the officials converged to discuss the penalty. For some reason, the sudden act of returning to real life and its small details brought a host of chuckles bubbling up from his chest.

"You're laughing at me again," Cloud remarked, although he didn't seem the slightest bit upset at it.

"No, not at you, Cloud," Leon replied, leaning back against the back of the couch and finally retrieving his hand from the other's knee. "Not at you."

Cloud smiled and leaned back as well, and they watched the rest of the game in comfortable silence, their shoulders and upper arms just barely touching. Leon honestly couldn't remember the last time he had felt so at peace, and he realized, as the game clock wound down to zero, that it was just possible that his nightmare had finally ended.