Control

A/N Chapter five is up, I hope you all like. Thank you to noezel7 for your wonderful comment. It really made me smile and want to carry on posting this story here. Cheers dude, you're a peach.x.x.x.

Chapter Five
I Had A Dream....
Cloud was tense, Leon could tell. He had been like it for the past three days and Leon had no doubt that it was because Sephiroth was due to arrive tomorrow. He did not want to let himself think about what that would mean. He wasn’t a fantasist, but when it came to this, Leon preferred to imagine that Cloud would be his forever, without Sephiroth, without the class system, without...anything. In a perfect world, Leon wouldn’t have to share Cloud with anyone, in a perfect dream, Cloud would be his.

“Stop chewing your lip.” Leon berated affectionately as he sauntered over to the window sill that Cloud was perched on. “You’ll make it sore.” He added softly as he took Cloud’s face into his hand and gently rubbed the offending article. Cloud blushed slightly and smiled loving how without even saying a word, Leon knew what was distracting him and even more importantly he knew how to take his mind off it.

“I know it’s hard, but try not to think about it okay?” Leon said knowing that it was a less than helpful suggestion. Cloud’s small smile faded at this and he turned his head out of Leon’s hand to look out of the window again.

“I know.” He said bluntly. “I’m trying.”

Leon sighed. Deciding that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get into another argument over it, he walked away, picking up a file on the couch as he did and walked towards the door.

“I have some work to do, but I’ll be back tonight okay?” he said as his fingers rested on the door handle. There was silence from Cloud and it made Leon turn around to look at him. Cloud’s gaze was lowered to his lap and Leon could have sworn that Cloud was shaking slightly. “Okay Cloud?” he asked a bit more forcefully.

“Okay, but... “Cloud replied trailing off as the words he really wanted to say died on his lips.

“But what?” Leon asked, his temper feeling a little bit frayed by Cloud’s constant cryptic answers.

“Nothing, I’ll see you later.” Cloud replied as he turned his attention back to the window and the city below.

Only spearing a few seconds thought over what Cloud had been going to say, Leon stepped out of his apartment and began walking to his office. ‘Just forget it.’ He thought to himself. ‘Just go to work, come home and then fuck his brains out. That’s what you should have been doing all this time.’ Leon’s self preservation voice said to him. On some level Leon did wonder how it ever got to this. A very much needed fuck was all he had planned it to be in the beginning. When he had first laid eyes on Cloud he knew that he was going to have him. He couldn’t believe how easy Sephiroth had made it for him, but still here he was. ‘Just fuck him and then send him back to that bastard. If Cloud wants to be moody and distance himself then he can.’ His inner voice was telling him. He couldn’t get it to shut up. ‘Just do what you know best. What does he mean to you anyway?’ the question made Leon almost stop in his tracks. He had never asked that question in the six weeks that Cloud had been with him. What did Cloud mean to him?

As Leon sat himself behind his desk he couldn’t quiet the voice that was telling him to run away and deny Cloud his last evening. He couldn’t deny the fact that Cloud had pissed him off. He knew what the young man was doing. Hoping that the further away he seemed the easier it would be to leave and it was testing Leon to his limits. Not only did he have the prospect of sending Cloud back to a man who beat him and god knows what other terrible things, but he couldn’t comfort Cloud either. The man was impossible. Leon had a good mind the fuck it all off. The temptation to stay in his office until tomorrow was getting harder and harder to resist. Leon didn’t want to go back and have his last night with Cloud. He didn’t want there to be a last night at all.

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After a few hours of work that he was only half concentrating on anyway, Leon gave up. He couldn’t leave their last night like this; he had to get back and make Cloud talk. He had a lot to tell him. ‘I couldn’t even go five hours.’ He thought sardonically with a smile. It took him less time to get back to his apartment than it had leaving it, and as he opened the door the smell of cooking wafted over him. Of all the things he expected to come home to, the sight that greeted him was not one of them. His barely used dining table was set for two, candles burning softly in the middle of it; two glasses of wine sat delicately next to two plates, and from somewhere in the kitchen sounds of movement could be heard as Cloud busied himself. Music he had forgotten that he owned was playing on a hi-fi system that he never switched on and as he looked closer at the table settings he saw cutlery and napkins that he had stored away knowing he would never have a call to use them.

Just as he was about to call out to signal that he was home, he turned and saw Cloud stood in the kitchen doorway and all sound died on his lips. Cloud had discarded his usual uniform and found some of Leon’s old clothes. The leather trousers he wore were a perfect fit, hugging his hips seductively while the crisp white t-shirt, though a little big, hung from his broad shoulders, the hem resting just right on the top of the trousers, the studded belt peeking out from under the cotton fabric. Leon noted that he looked a little awkward stood there in the raging quiet, but he was struck dumb with the overwhelming sight of his lover looking so beautiful, so...human. At last Cloud no longer looked like the slave that Leon hated him to be, he looked like any normal person and for a moment Leon let himself believe that theirs was a normal life, and this was a normal evening.

“Wow.” Was all Leon said as he looked Cloud up and down again. He didn’t care that he was staring and he didn’t care that he was making Cloud blush under his intense scrutiny. He just wanted to make sure that he never forgot this image. “Wow, you look...” Leon was literally lost for words. “You look...amazing.” He finally finished as his gaze came to rest incredulously on Cloud’s beautiful, abashed face.

“I borrowed some clothes, I hope you don’t mind.” Cloud replied tugging a little self-consciously at the bottom of his shirt. Leon just shook his head, his mouth still hanging open a fraction as he gawped at the sight in front of him.

“No, I...What’s all this for?” he asked looking around again at his transformed apartment, noticing for the first time the other candles dotted about the place, the main light turned down low

“You said...you didn’t know when your birthday was. I...I know it’s not August but I figured we might not have another chance.” Cloud said as he stepped further into the room.

Leon felt a pain cinch in his chest and he realised for the first time in his life that he had never celebrated his birthday. He also realised that he had never thought that odd and he had a moment where he felt incredibly sad about that. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he looked back at Cloud’s expectant face and he couldn’t even begin to name all of the emotions that he was feeling. He couldn’t believe that Cloud had done this for him. He couldn’t believe he had never done this for himself. How could he have never celebrated his own birthday?

“I...I...I don’t know what to say.” He whispered as a tear found its way free and tracked down his cheek. Leon barely registered it. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”
Cloud was stood in front of Leon now and he saw the tears on Leon’s face. He reached up and brushed them away feeling his initial excitement at his surprise slowly ebb away. He hadn’t wanted to make Leon cry.

“I didn’t mean to make you sad.” He said with a wry smile.

“I’m not sad.” Leon replied as he returned the affectionate gesture, his fingers cupping Cloud’s jaw. “I’m just...Happy. I...Thank you.” He said; his grin growing wider as he realised that joy was one of the emotions he had such difficulty in pin pointing.

“You’re welcome.” Cloud replied as he mirrored Leon’s goofy grin. He leaned in then and kissed Leon with a directness and certainty that he couldn’t have felt just a month ago. Cloud reluctantly pulled away enough to look Leon in the eye, watching all of his emotions swirl in them, loving that he had caused them.

“Dinner’s ready.” Cloud said softly as he pulled away and walked into the kitchen leaving Leon to reel for a moment or two. Sitting himself down, still dumbstruck over the turn of events Leon looked at the beautifully laid table. He knew that everything on it was his, but he had such a feeling of unfamiliarity that it felt like he was sat at someone else’s table, in another time and place and it was a wonderful feeling.

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After diner, they both sat at the table, Leon’s feet resting comfortable on top of Cloud’s, his left hand curled around the stem of his wine glass, the fingers of his right hand entwined with Cloud’s.

“You have no idea what it meant to me. To come home and find...all this.” Leon said with a slight pause as he looked about himself again. His fingers gripped a little tighter as he held Cloud’s hand and just that one small intimate gesture, as tiny and superfluous as it seemed made them both feel normal.

“Isn’t this what normal people do?” Cloud said, airing both of their feelings. He looked down at his empty plate, regretting his reference to their completely abnormal lives. He wanted to forget about that, just for tonight at least.

“I wish...” Cloud began, he didn’t know whether now was such a good time to talk about such things, but he couldn’t help himself. Maybe it was the wine, maybe not.

“I wish, we could do this every night.” He admitted feeling his face grow hot. “I wish that, tomorrow I’ll wake up with you and you’ll go to work, and then when you come home you’ll find me here again... waiting for you.” Cloud was in no mood to be coy. Uncharacteristically he found himself wanting to say a lot more. He had an awful lot of wishes and he wanted to tell them all. “I wish no one else in the world mattered.” He continued feeling brave enough to look up into Leon’s face. “I want to stay here with you.” He confessed, feeling his face burning with embarrassment and not caring one single bit.

Leon could feel his heart breaking at his lover’s earnest words. He knew Cloud’s feelings, he had similar feelings of his own and they hurt just as much and he longed to have the power to change it all and make it right. Leon thought for a moment more about his resolution from the other night, about how certain he was that he needed to leave and take Cloud with him no matter where it would lead them. He had no idea whether he had the strength to leave, he had thought about it several times before and always managed to find reasons why he shouldn’t, but now the biggest reason why he should was staring him in the face. He couldn’t be weak anymore.

“Cloud, I...” Leon began, feeling anxiety wash over him for some unknown reason. “I want to talk to you about something.” He said as he gripped Cloud’s hand a little better wanting him to know the seriousness of this conversation. “I have a friend, I know him and I trust him and if you wanted... He could get you out.” Leon said bluntly, deciding it would be best if he got straight to the point before he lost his nerve.

The look of confusion that came across Cloud’s face did not escape Leon’s attention but he hadn’t finished. “I could arrange it so that... so that you could escape safely, he could take you some where safe and hide you. Not even I would know where you were. Sephiroth would never find you I promise.”

Cloud was stunned to silence for a few moments. Of all the things that he had been expecting Leon to say, this was not one of them. It seemed like this was a night for surprises all round.
“But...but what about Tifa? If HE knew that I was gone he would waste no time in finding her.” Cloud said. He couldn’t even believe that he was entertaining the possibility. “She would be in danger from the moment I disappeared.”

Leon had considered this angle and was hoping that his solution would be enough to convince Cloud of his plan. “I know and I’m not suggesting that you leave her behind. I could arrange for her to meet you, before you even escape. She would be waiting for you. No one will find either of you; you’ll be safe I promise.” Leon knew he had the ability and the authority to arrange such a thing, buying Tifa and giving her freedom would not be a problem. He looked at Cloud now, he was deep in thought and not for the first time Leon wished that he could read Cloud’s mind. After a long silence Cloud looked up from his plate and looked straight into Leon’s eyes. He shook his head.

“No.” He said wanting desperately to take Leon up on his offer. “No, what about you?” he said as he withdrew his hand from Leon’s grasp. “You... you could get caught, you would be found out. I know Sephiroth; he wouldn’t stop until he found out how.” Cloud was adamant. He couldn’t let Leon put himself in danger like that, not for him.

“Don’t worry about Sephiroth, he’s my problem. I just...I just want you to be safe. I can’t stand the thought of you going back to him.” Leon was not afraid of saying what was in his heart now. If that’s what it took to convince Cloud to go, he needed to tell him.

But Cloud was in no mind to comply. Standing up he turned and walked over to the window looking out over the city that was lit with a thousand street lights. ‘This is so crazy.’ He thought to himself. His freedom was out there, he could have it and Leon was offering it to him on a plate, if only he could bring himself to leave Leon behind. He despised having to make that decision. Why should he have to? Leon was a prisoner just like himself. He may not have said as much but Cloud knew from how little he had said that he never chose this life, and now because of Sephiroth neither of them could leave it.

Cloud felt himself being brought to the edge of frustrated angry tears. He couldn’t leave. As crazy as it sounded he would rather stay in his hell, and have the chance of seeing Leon (even if it was every now and again) than run away and never see him again.

“I won’t go.” He said his voice wavering with the weight that his decision brought. He knew what he was condemning himself to, but he couldn’t let that change his mind.

“How can that be your decision?” Leon shouted as he stood up almost knocking the chair over as he did so. He couldn’t understand, he was offering Cloud freedom and he wouldn’t take it. “Don’t you know what will happen if you stay?”

“I don’t care.” Cloud replied knowing that he was lying.

“Sephiroth will kill you!” Leon shouted again as he stepped nearer to Cloud. “Maybe not straight away but over time, he’ll get tired of you. Eventually you’ll mean nothing to him, not even a convenient fuck and he’ll kill you. Do you understand?” Leon was directly in front of Cloud now and he didn’t care that his words had caused Cloud to shed the tears that were resting in his eyes.

“If you go, you’ll have a chance of living. If you stay you’ll die and you know it.” Leon said more gently as he wiped the tears away.

“I...I...I don’t want to go. Not without you.” Cloud all but whispered as he subconsciously leaned into the tender touch.

Leon sighed, he tried to think of every possible way that he could escape too, but every way seemed to bring more danger to Cloud. He could be easily followed, his I.D could be tracked, and people would recognise him. Any of those scenarios could happen and then it would be game over for everyone involved. But he knew that Cloud would not go unless he did.

Leon drew Cloud into a hug, planting a kiss against his forehead as he did. He felt Cloud grip him tightly, his arms snaking around him to bring their bodies against each other. Leon breathed in deeply loving the unique smell of Cloud washing over him.

“I won’t leave you here alone.” Cloud whispered to him huskily. “You deserve to be free too.”
Cloud’s acknowledgement of his own similar plight made the last resistant shards in his heart break, and Leon couldn’t argue anymore. No matter how much more dangerous Leon’s escape made it, he had to go too.

“Okay.” He said running his fingers through Cloud’s soft hair as he whispered into it, his gaze looking far out over the city as his mind tried desperately to ignore the feeling of dread that had settled in his heart. He felt Cloud bury his face away deeper into the crook of his neck and he kissed his head, fighting against the feeling that he had just signed both of their death warrants.

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Cloud knew the enormity of the conversation they had shared, but at that moment as his body sung with desire and passion he couldn’t bring himself to care. Leon was deep inside him and all he could feel was hot burning need. Leon’s hands played deftly over his sensitive skin, knowing just where to touch him to make him whimper with desire.

Leon’s gentle rocking motion was causing Cloud’s mind to drift away his only thoughts were of the man that was softly making love to him. On some level he was aware that the older man had leaned in and was viciously sucking on his neck, his hands clutching him leaving bruising marks on his hips and thighs and he loved it, knowing that he was completely Leon’s. All of him, body, soul and mind were with Leon and as he came he called out his lover’s name in a cry that caused Leon to come all on its own.

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It was late but neither Cloud nor Leon wanted to sleep. Neither of them wanted to waste a second that they had left and both of them were acutely aware that with the dawn brought Sephiroth’s return.

“When the time comes, I’ll let you know okay?” Leon whispered into Cloud’s hair as the younger man rested his head on Leon’s chest. “All you have to do is go with Zack and he’ll bring you to me.” Leon had explained that they would wait until Sephiroth was away on duty before his friend and fellow Soldier led Cloud out and away from the Soldier compound. “Tifa and I will be waiting for you. We’ll be out of the city by nightfall.” Cloud nodded wordlessly not trusting his voice with the enormity of what they would soon be doing.

“I’ll start arrangements for Tifa’s freedom in the morning. We’ll be free by the end of the week okay?” The hand that rested on Leon’s stomach balled into a fist and Cloud reached out to grasp it. He brought it to his lips and softly kissed it wanting to sooth his older lover as much as he felt he was able to.

“Okay, don’t worry.” He replied as he squeezed the hand. “Everything’s going to be alright.” He said wishing that he could believe what he was saying. “But, if...if Zack and I... If we get caught...” he tried to say but Leon stopped him, not wanting to hear the possibilities of ‘what if’.

“Don’t.”

“If we get caught...” Cloud continued, not letting Leon stop him. “Then promise me...Promise me you’ll still go. Get Tifa away, don’t let Sephiroth get to her too?”

Leon was silent. He didn’t know whether he could make such a promise. If Cloud was caught trying to escape, he couldn’t promise that he would do anything to try and save him.

“Leon!...Promise me!” it was a demand, not a request and even now with everything that had happened and everything that was going to happen, Leon couldn’t deny Cloud anything.

“Alright, I promise.” He whispered. Cloud returned his head to Leon’s chest, loving the soft rhythmic beat of his heart. It almost sent him to sleep, almost.

Both men lay awake until dawn, neither of them wanting it to come.

A/N Blah...it took me a while to be bothered to finish this. Dam thing just wouldn’t be written. Having said that I love the interaction between Leon and Cloud when Leon comes home from work. I had visions of putting Cloud in a comedy apron, maybe one with inflatable breasts, but alas I didn’t want to spoil the mood. So with that thought resigned to my spank bank I wrote him in some sexy leather instead.

I hope you all liked, we’re coming close to the finish now so stay tuned for chapter six.
Much love.x.x.x.