Rainy Day

Roxas awoke to the smell of something burning. His first thought was that the apartment was on fire, but he quickly realized it was just Axel attempting to cook. His next thoughts were of the events that had taken place the night before. The memories slowly came rushing back, and he thought for a moment he had dreamt it all. That is until he tried to stand up only to be greeted by a sharp pain in his posterior. No, definitely not a dream. Roxas carefully got out of bed and went to the bathroom before heading out to the kitchen to see just how charred the food was, "'Morning Axel."

Axel slightly surprised, whirled around, away from the stove, to see Roxas standing in the doorway wearing a loose white t-shirt and some heart print pajama bottoms, "Roxas! Good morning! I made breakfast!"

Roxas stared, trying not to cringe, at the tall lanky red head wearing absolutely nothing but a pink apron, "Uh...yeah. I can smell. So...how much of it is edible?" he asked patronizingly.

Axel scowled at the shorter blonde, "Very funny. It's all edible! But if you don't want it, then I'll just eat it by myself. Hmph." He turned up his nose and closed his eyes.

"No, no. I'll eat it. After all, it's the first breakfast you've made me as my boyfriend, so it's kind of special, right?" Roxas almost whispered out of shyness.

Axel blushed slightly, "Heh. Yeah...that's right. I made this just for you. I made scrambled eggs, 'cause I know runny yoke grosses you out, and I made bacon, 'cause you don't like sausage..." Axel looked almost like a small child searching for approval.

Roxas smiled up at Axel, "Wow. You know what I like?"

Axel grinned, "Of course I do! I mean, I've always taken note of what you like, but I acted like I didn't, 'cause I thought you might find it weird. But I figured since we're, ya know, together now, that you might be impressed by that sort of thing."

Roxas smiled wider, "I am. Thank you Axel. So, is it ready then?"

"Oh! Yeah! Here, you sit down and I'll bring it to you!" Axel pulled out a chair for Roxas and grabbed some plates from the cupboard. He spooned some eggs onto each plate and placed a few slices of bacon on top. Then he carried the two plates over to the table, "Here ya go," he said smiling from ear to ear, "Oh!" he scurried over to the silverware drawer and came back with two forks, "Dig in!"

Roxas looked warily at the food before him, wondering if it really was edible. Now that he thought about it, he'd never actually tried Axel's cooking before. Well, if he'd learned anything from the day before, it was that there's a first time for everything. He stabbed at the eggs with his fork, then raised them to his mouth. He looked over at Axel who was watching him eagerly as he chewed his breakfast, "Wow. These are actually good. I mean, not just normal good, like really good. They have some sort of extra taste to them."

Axel looked like he was about to jump up and down, "Haha! So you can taste it! I added some tabasco sauce for a little kick. I'm so glad you like it!" He grinned at the boy across the table from him, then turned his attention to his own plate, "So, did you sleep well last night?" he asked between bites.

Roxas glanced up for a split second, then back at his plate, "Mm-hmm. I slept great. Though this morning, I'm a bit sore."

Axel choked a bit on his eggs, "Ahem...uh yeah. Sorry about that...you'll get used to it though, right?"

Roxas took another bite of his eggs then looked up Axel, "What about you?"

Axel swallowed then answered, "Uh, I mean, sure it's new for me, but I think I'll adjust faster than you," he took another bite.

Roxas narrowed his eyes, "No, I mean, you're gonna have to get used to the soreness too, right?"

Axel snickered, "Uh, Roxas, I know it was tight, but it wasn't that tight. I'm sorry to say, but I'm not sore," he kept eating.

Roxas now getting a bit frustrated said, "Axel. That's not what I mean. I mean, you are gonna be on bottom some times, correct?"

Axel chuckled and looked up at Roxas. Seeing that Roxas was rather perturbed, he realized he wasn't kidding, "Look, Roxas...uh, I um, I'm sure it'd be, ya know, kinky and all, but I'm not gonna be playin' musical positions. I think we should just stick with you on bottom, me on top, and call it good. Ya know?"

Roxas slammed his fork down, "No Axel, I don't know. I'm sorry, but I thought this was gonna be a fair relationship. While I don't mind takin' it up the ass every other time, I would like to be on the giving end once in a while," he stared Axel down with complete seriousness.

Axel sat back in his chair, "Well I'm sorry Roxas, but I don't feel that way. I may like you, despite you being a guy, but I'm not about to let you go stickin' me in the ass like I'm some woman."

Roxas was now fuming, "Excuse me? So I'm the woman? Is that it Axel? Well then, why the Hell don't you just go get a real woman than, huh? 'Cause I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a dick, and yes, I would like to use it from time to time, but if that's gonna be an inconvenience for you, then I'll just take it somewhere else," Roxas jumped from his chair causing it to fall over backwards as he stormed out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, where he slammed the door behind him.

Axel sat at the table rather pissed at what had just taken place, "Fine Roxas, storm off like a little drama queen! Only helps to prove that you are a woman!" he crossed his arms and stared angrily at the plate in front of him, "Oh, and you're welcome for breakfast!" he growled.


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Several hours later, Roxas still hadn't come out of his bedroom. Axel had cleared the table and spent the last few hours attempting to watch television, but really just replaying the earlier scene over in his head. Why did Roxas have to get so upset about such a stupid thing? Why'd he have to want to be on top anyway? He was clearly better suited to play the female of the relationship, so why'd he have to protest it so much? Because if Axel and him were to switch positions every time, that would mean they were two men. Two men, each with a penis, having sex, with each other. Not a man and a woman. And if Axel was having sex with a man, not a woman, then that would mean he was gay. And it would really mean he was gay if he let Roxas be the penetrator. That's why Axel had stood his ground. He didn't want Roxas to be a man because that would make Axel gay. If he could just get Roxas to stay in the submissive role of the relationship, he could somewhat save his heterosexuality. He could still be a man. If he gave in and let Roxas dominate, that would make him less manly, wouldn't it? Of course, Axel knew this wasn't the case, but couldn't help feeling that it was. His brain and his feelings were conflicting, and he always came to a stand still when that happened. So what could he do now? He needed to talk to Roxas. Roxas would understand where he was coming from. Roxas would know how to sort this out. He got up from the couch and walked over to Roxas's bedroom door. He knocked once, "Roxas? Can I come in?"

For a few moments, Axel received no reply, then barely, he made out a, "Do what you want."

Axel slowly opened the door and peeked inside. He saw a small lump curled up on the bed that appeared to be Roxas with his back to the door.
He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. He didn't say anything at first, but finally broke the silence, "Hey Roxas. I'm sorry."

"So you'll let me be on top sometimes?" Roxas asked bluntly.

Axel grimaced, "I didn't say that."
"Well then, I have nothing to say to you," Roxas pulled the sheet up over his head.

Axel ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly, "Roxas, look. Let me at least talk."

"Talk. Doesn't mean I'll listen," he said stubbornly.

Axel let out a sigh, "Ok, look. I've been thinking. The reason I don't want you to be on top is 'cause it'd mean I'm gay."

"Uh, duh. We're both guys. That's kind of implied," he replied sarcastically.

Axel controlled his anger, "No. That's not what I mean. Look. If you were a girl, things would be easier, but you're a guy, so the only way for me to keep my dignity is if I play the man in the relationship."

Roxas whipped the sheets down from his face and glared at Axel, "No, you mean that you don't want people to harass you for being gay, so the next best thing is to make me the bitch, so you can still look manly. God forbid people think you actually love me," Roxas snipped.

"Roxas, this has nothing to do with whether or not I love you. I just feel you're more suited to be the woman of the relationship, that's all. Why do you have to be so huffy about this?"

"Hmm, maybe because I'm a man, not a woman. Did you ever think that perhaps I'd like to keep my manhood intact as well? No, you didn't think that, did you? You just assumed I'd happily play the woman, and you could go on feeling straight. Well, sorry Axel, but I'm not a woman, nor do I wish to be a woman. I am a man, and I'm happy being a man. I am also fine with you being a man. I don't feel either of us has to fulfill some female role, but if this is too much for you to handle, then we can end it right now."

Axel sat staring at the floor, not sure what to say. He knew he was being an ass. He knew he should just apologize to Roxas and never call him a woman again, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Partially because of his stubborn pride, and partially because he really was afraid of referring to himself as gay. It was so taboo. He knew he shouldn't care what the world thought of him, but he did. He loved Roxas, and he wanted to only care what Roxas thought of him, but it was just so difficult, "Roxas...I...I don't know what to say. I know I shouldn't care if you want to be on top, and actually, I don't care. I really don't, but yet I do. I'm afraid to admit to myself that I'm in love with a man. I'm able to handle it as long as I maintain some semblance of a hetero relationship, but as soon as I let that go, I don't know what to do. I've never been gay before. Well, ok, I guess if I like you, I've always somewhat been gay, but this is my first time realizing it, and I don't know what I'm suppose to do. It's easier to pretend I'm straight. I know how those relationships are suppose to work. That's what society's about, but no one tells you how a gay relationship is suppose to go," Axel stopped there, not sure what else to add.

Roxas was looking at Axel with a much softer face now, finally starting to realize where Axel was coming from, "You're afraid, huh? So am I. I mean, I guess any new relationship is scary, but this is something you don't see on tv. Nobody shows you how two men are suppose to act towards each other. Is one suppose to be feminine and the other masculine? Or are they both suppose to masculine? Or maybe they're suppose to do each other's nails and go shoe shopping," Roxas grinned and Axel chuckled, "I think I get where you're coming from, and I guess all I can say is, who cares what society says. So they haven't given us a model to follow. Good! That means we can define our relationship by ourselves. We can make it fit us, and no one else. We can let it unfold naturally, instead of trying to cram it into society's mold of 'right.'"

Axel looked up at Roxas, "You know, for a blonde, you're pretty smart."

Roxas snickered, "Wow. You really do believe all of society's memes, huh?"

Axel grinned, "Nah, that one's from experience. I swear, every blonde I've dated was an airhead."

"No, that's just because every girl you've ever dated, no matter her hair color, was an airhead," Roxas teased.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," Axel scoffed.

"And hey, that's just another reason it's a good thing I am a man and not a woman. If I was a woman, and you liked me, I'd have to be a bimbo."

"Ok, ok. I get it. You're jealous of all the women I've had," Axel said relaxing back onto the bed.

"Jealous?! Please. Like I could be jealous of those walking mannequins."

"Hey, they might not have had much going on upstairs, but they were some pretty good lays," Axel quipped.

"Is that so?" Roxas crawled over top Axel and straddled him. Axel opened his eyes and looked up at Roxas, "Well, my dear Axel, there's one thing they couldn't do, that I can. And, if you'd like, I can show you just what that is. And afterwards, I think you'll agree that it's not so bad being on bottom after all," Roxas looked at Axel coyly and Axel couldn't help but smirk.