Secrets and Lies

((I'm totally back and with the final installment of Secrets and Lies. As usual, sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the fic. And for all you fans out there, I'll be writing a bonus smut chapter to finish up. This will also likely be the last multichapter fic I post because I take so damn long to update them so I'll probably stick to one-shots in future, unless I am convinced otherwise. Anyway, behold, chapter five.))

Secrets and Lies
Chapter Five
Chasing Shadows

It seemed like an eternity that they stood there, a heavy silence enveloping them both, seeming to hush even the whistle of the wind through the breach in the rock that formed the crystal fissure. It was far from the comfortable silences they might once have enjoyed.

This one was weighted and stifling; both men waiting for the other to break that oppressive silence, but neither seemed willing to do so.

Leon was refusing to speak simply because he didn’t think that it needed to be said that he was waiting for an explanation regarding the blond’s recent behaviour. Cloud had raped him, tortured him and not once had Leon even considered calling the committee down on the swordsman. In his mind, he shouldn’t have to say a damn thing; it should be the blond male doing all the talking, explaining what happened, apologising, trying to make amends, anything that might keep him in good favour with the gunblader despite all that had transpired between them.

Cloud on the other hand, wanted to wait for Leon to break the silence, to ask him why he’d done what he had, because he wasn’t sure if he could do it without first being prompted. A part of him didn’t want to speak of the sins he’d committed against the man stood opposite him but the silence couldn’t be allowed to drag on forever, after all, his time in control was short. How he knew that, he wasn’t sure, but he knew that if he didn’t say what needed to be said, right then, the opportunity to do so would pass and he might not get another chance.

It was with that knowledge that Cloud finally sighed, looked away at something behind the gunblader and his dry lips parted to speak.

“I’m... I’m sorry.” He began, knowing that sorry, regardless of how hard it was to say, would never be enough for him to atone for what he’d done. That thought allowed the darkness an ever stronger hold on him as dark despair loosened the tense muscles of his shoulders and he seemed to slump in defeat. Mere words would not undo what he’d done to the man he had managed to become attracted to, despite all odds.

Leon didn’t move at all, just stood there with his arms folded, his expression carefully guarded, though his posture was tense in a way that suggested that he was leery of how genuine the man’s words were going to be.

“I’m not asking that you forgive me Leon, only that you understand why I’ve done what I have.” He forced himself to meet those cold grey eyes without flinching. “I don’t want to use the darkness as an excuse but that is the reason behind my behaviour recently. It’s like... rather than take on the form of Sephiroth as it did before in order to see me suffer and fail when I faced him, it’s like the darkness has remained inside my body to torment me by making me hurt the people I care about. I can’t stop it Leon, I can’t beat it if I can’t face it and I know it won’t take corporeal form just because I want it to.”

There was still no reaction from Leon, no surprise, no disbelief, nothing but that same silence and Cloud was beginning to feel as though that silence was accusing him, that it spoke more for Leon’s scepticism than the man’s words ever could. The gunblader needn’t even speak in order to intimidate someone, get the results he wanted but not once had Cloud ever thought that he’d be on the receiving end of that cool, almost blank stare. It was unnerving, almost making his skin crawl and he would have preferred some kind of clash of blades, some kind of physical manifestation of Leon’s disbelief and disapproval rather than that infernal silence that the man was offering in place of words or blows.

“I don’t have much time left like this... You should probably go while I’m still in control. I’ve no idea what I’ll do to you once the darkness reclaims my body. I don’t think I’ll be able to stand before you as myself again after this. The guilt I feel at what I’ve done only feeds the darkness inside me.” He added in a voice that had dwindled to barely above a whisper by then.

Still Leon said nothing and Cloud was beginning to wonder if perhaps the gunblader was struggling to hold back some kind of swelling emotion, anger or the like, and it was preventing him from speaking. It was the only explanation he could think of that made any sense to him. Regardless of the reasoning behind his refusal to speak, he had to leave before Cloud was no longer in control of himself. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if he raped the man a second time simply because he was conveniently there.

The seconds ticked by and the gunblader was as motionless as he had been since Cloud had started the explanation. The blond swordsman had absolutely no idea what was going through the sharp mind the brunet was in possession of but whatever it was, it had made the slender chocolate brows furrow in thought. That alone made no sense to Cloud who had expected some kind of spiteful exchange of words, some accusations thrown in there too and perhaps for them both to come to blows as Leon vented his anger on the blond who had become their enemy. Perhaps the man would even reveal how betrayed he felt that a former comrade had succumbed to the darkness despite all the efforts of his friends to keep him on the side of light.

There was nothing, only the gentle rise and fall of the gunblader’s chest as he engrossed himself in his thoughts. If Cloud didn’t know any better regarding the gunblader’s almost uncanny awareness of anything and everything around him, he might have thought that Leon had locked himself away inside his head and that Cloud could leave and come back later and the gunblader would be right where he left him, unaware of the passage of time and Cloud’s absence.

When the blond was about to put as much distance between them as he could for his companion’s safety, the man opposite him finally stirred, those grey eyes sharpening and seeming to bore right through the blond male who froze, his eyes on those of stormy grey which seemed to darken the longer he remained captivated by them.

Before he could open his mouth to ask about the conclusion the man had come to, Cloud felt himself go cold and he knew that whatever happened next would be far from positive.

Seeming to sense the change before it happened, having become a little more aware of the transition between Cloud and dark-Cloud, Leon’s jaw tensed a moment, his eyes hardened and before the blond could touch him his smooth voice cut through the silence that had blanketed them once more.

“Take me with you.”

Even the blond, relinquishing his body to the darkness, seemed to be stunned by the order and the cruel smirk that was beginning to turn his pale lips almost immediately became a frown.

“To the darkness?” Cloud snorted in a mixture of amusement and derision. “You wouldn’t last an hour in the darkness as you are and I see no reason to waste my energy on helping you when you’re so easy to torment here.” He dismissed but he was obviously thrown off by the demand and even as he spoke, he seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of doing as he was told. It seemed unthinkable that Leon, the pillar of light and strength for the growing city, would give it all up and enter into darkness, and for what? It didn’t make any sense; surely the brunet had so much more to live for if he remained in the light? And not only that, but it was so much more satisfying to torment the gunblader when he didn’t expect it, when the light blinded him to the capabilities of the darkness.

The bottom line was that Cloud didn’t want the brunet gunblader to join him in the darkness, no matter what reason the man had for asking, or rather demanding that he be taken in by it.

Leon was looking at him expectantly and since his mind had been made up, the blond swordsman didn’t hesitate to crush the other male’s hopes. “No. I see no reason to bring you into the folds of the darkness when I can reach you easily while you remain here.” He announced with a mocking lilt to his voice. “Why should I give you what you want, Leonhart? What’s so important to you that you’d abandon your duties, your responsibilities to your friends, your city, and immerse yourself in the darkness?”

“You.”

“You can’t be serious.” Cloud retorted, mirth dancing in his darkened eyes. “The leader of the Restoration Committee and beacon of hope to the people, giving up everything he holds dear for one person. One pitiful shell, so tainted by the darkness that it consumed him. It’s almost laughable. Who would have thought?” He taunted, shifting his stance to one that was slightly more aggressive as he approached the brunet who held his ground for the time being, those grey/blue eyes hard as he refused to be baited into a reaction. “Can you imagine everyone’s reactions? The betrayal they’d feel when the one man they thought was untouchable by the darkness, gives into it, and willingly no less. Can you see the looks on their faces as they realise what you’ve done? How you’ve left them to fend for themselves and all because of how much of a selfish asshole you are? All because you wanted [i]me[/i].” The blond went on, clearly enjoying himself, especially as he could see the gunblader becoming conflicted over what course of action to take and all the while, Cloud was getting closer to the brunet until they were standing close enough to feel each other’s breath on their faces.

“So how about we forget about the ridiculous request and focus on something more... satisfying?” Cloud continued, smirking at the brunet who backed up a step and the blond didn’t miss the involuntary twitch of the man’s fingers. Clearly the committee leader was struggling to rein in the impulse to grab his weapon and it amused the swordsman to see it even if he was a little disappointed that Leon wasn’t going to go through with the motion. Seemed as though he’d started to learn his lesson regarding what happened when he pointed a weapon at the blond.

It was a shame really. An invigorating fight was just what the doctor ordered before he really started toying with the gunblader. Let the man think he stood a chance before he was shown exactly what the darkness was capable of while in the possession of a perfect young body and a huge sword.

If Leon wasn’t going to instigate a fight, then Cloud would.

Shoving the brunet away from him hard enough to make the man stumble, in seconds both men had their weapons drawn, though Leon looked more than a little reluctant to participate in anything with the bastard blond. Too bad that he didn’t have a choice.

Metal rang against metal as their blades met between them and Cloud’s smirk widened until they pushed apart. Determined to best Cloud at least that one time, Leon fought valiantly, proving that despite how he’d been beaten before, he wasn’t just going to give in. Muscles strained, sweat formed and blows were exchanged as they both fought to gain the upper hand but inevitably, it was Leon who succumbed in the end. The fight was surprisingly long and became more brutal as it progressed until Cloud began to demonstrate his ability to use the darkness to his advantage, teleporting around the brunet and attempting to strike the man’s vulnerable spots, but even then it was difficult to get within the gunblader’s defences. Time seemed to pass so much more slowly while they fought but eventually Leon collapsed in an exhausted, battered heap. Once he’d managed to get within the brunet’s guard, Cloud had begun to toy with the man, hurting him but ensuring that he could continue to fight.

The only thing Leon could be grateful for was that no weapons were put through his shoulder, which Cloud seemed to enjoy.

Battered and bloody, Leon sank to his knees, left hand gripping a nasty tear in his right bicep that was bleeding sluggishly while numerous other cuts and gashes bled over his clothes. He looked up at the blond who was stood over him, blinking blood out of his eye from a cut that sliced across his eyebrow and waiting for the swordsman to start boasting about his victory. It came after the male struck him across the cheek, splitting it and after the brunet spat a wad of blood to the floor and returned his gaze to the blond once more.

“You can’t beat me. Why do you fight when you know you’ll lose to me over and over again? You’re powerless against me.” The blond sneered, kicking the beaten brunet with the toe of his boot. “You’re too weak to endure the darkness. A poor excuse for a defender of the city. Can’t protect his friends, can’t protect his world, can’t even protect himself.” Cloud mocked. “Can’t do very much there, can you Leon? It’s pathetic.” The blond went on, speaking far more and in a much more scornful tone than Cloud ever would have done.

Leon could only watch as the blond swordsman summoned up a dark portal and turned away from him, presumably too disgusted by the failure that was the brunet to want to face him any longer. “You get off easy this time.” Cloud growled, framed by the swirling purples, blacks and blues of the portal. “But trust me, [i]Leon[/i], I’ll be back for you soon.” He assured the brunet who continued to do nothing more than watch him, swaying slightly as his eyes lost focus for a minute.

The gunblader had no doubt about the blond’s words and knew that if he allowed the man to escape there was only going to be pain in his foreseeable future. Encounters with Cloud would only result in injury if he let the blond walk away as every upcoming meeting with him would be on his opponent’s terms. It would mean that he wouldn’t be able to prepare as the blond had an annoying tendency to appear at random and gained perverse satisfaction in catching the gunblader while he wasn’t on guard and that in turn meant that it was unlikely that he’d get the chance to defeat the swordsman.

If he was going to act, he had to do it soon, while he wasn’t suffering with a sharp implement impaling one limb or another.

Steeling his resolve, Leon hunched over himself slightly to gather his strength and waited for the telltale sound of Cloud’s boots thudding on the rock surface that would indicate that the man was walking away. After a derisive snort from the darkness-shrouded blond, that sound finally came and the gunblader took it as his cue.

Rising to his feet in one smooth, fluid motion despite his injuries, the brunet male watched as Cloud retreated towards and through the portal, disappearing within its swirling hues.

He wasn’t going to wait for Cloud to pick and choose when to torment him.
He wasn’t going to put his friends in danger by allowing Cloud to walk freely among them.
He wasn’t going to fail again.

Brows furrowed, eyes hard and determination set, Leon ignored the pain and stepped through the portal.