Regrets

Author’s Note: So this chapter took a little longer than I anticipated to write, but after getting the fourth chapter of Flashback up last night, I think I’m good to go for writing for a while. Sorry for the wait and I’d also like to apologize for not getting my facts straight about rottweilers, I assumed they were aggressive by nature, so I made an ass out of myself with that one, and I thank Chaos_Kitten for setting me straight. I apologize for offending you, and anyone else who might have been offended by that.

I’d also like to thank k612, and pokezejello for their lovely reviews, and again, thanks for your review Chaos_Kitten and I hope this chapter isn’t offending in any way, but let me know if it is.

Anyways, on with the fifth chapter.

Warnings:Yaoi, Mpreg, mild swearing if any, angst, and a completely weird and twisted chapter XD

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“Did you hear about Sora?” Cloud asked Squall as the brunet grabbed his wrists and pinned his arms above Cloud’s head and kissed him roughly.

“Mm-hm,” Squall was obviously not all that interested in the current topic as he moved his hands down Cloud’s sides, stopping them at the hem of the blond’s shirt before slipping a his hands under.

Cloud squirmed and struggled against Squall, trying to free his arms. He gasped at the feeling of Leon’s rough hands running over his stomach. “Will you stop and listen to me for just a minute?”

Squall sighed, his other hand idly playing with the zipper on Cloud’s jeans.

“Continue.”

Cloud gave Squall a rough shove and moved away from the wall to avoid any more attempts of being pinned and felt up by him. He cleared his throat, running both hands through his blond, spiky hair. “Thank you.” He fell silent for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “I’ve been told rottweilers don’t just attack someone out of nowhere, let alone children.”

“Maybe it had rabies…” He was trying so hard to sound interested; he really was, but Cloud’s jean clad ass just screamed ‘grope me’.

“But Sora didn’t mention anything about that…”

Squall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, Cloud. I don’t know where this is going, and really I don’t care—“

“You don’t care that Sora and Roxy were almost killed by a dog?” Squall didn’t even have to turn around to know his live-in boyfriend of about sixteen years was frowning.

“Cloud,” he sighed, “They just needed some stitches. The attack wasn’t life threatening.”

“Oh? And I suppose you would be just as calm about it if it were your precious Yuki?”

Damnit. Cloud got him.

Squall closed his eyes. “You need to be rational about these things.”

“It can still happen, Squall, our son is in danger every second of the day and—“

“Be realistic Cloud. Yes, Yuki is susceptible to getting hurt every ‘second’ of the day, but he’s a smart boy. He’s not a baby anymore.”

Cloud crossed his arms, frowning, lower lip sticking out in a pout that just made the blond man appear more adorable, canceling out any of his masculine attributes, if any. Squall had the overwhelming urge to tear off his clothes and fuck Cloud right there in the kitchen.

“Can I ask you something?” Squall just waited, arms folded, watching Cloud. It was his way of saying yes. “What would you do if Yuki ever got bit?”

Squall’s expression changed slightly, and unfortunately, for him, Cloud noticed.

“That’s what I thought.”

The haughty tone made Squall want to strangle the blond, but he just turned his back and walked out. He sighed, hearing Cloud’s footsteps behind him. When was he going to give this up?

“Squall--!”

“I’m going to work.” The brunet’s voice left no room for arguing as he grabbed snatched his jacket off the hook and walked out the front door, closing it with a slight slam, leaving Cloud standing alone in the middle of the hallway. He hung his head and slowly walked back into the kitchen.

“I’m smothering him again…”

~~~

All was silent in the Akumi household. Riku was at work helping prepare for another long night at the movies, Rika was in school, and Sora was sitting on the living room couch, bored and not finding anything interesting to watch on TV. After flipping through another couple of channels Sora just sighed and turned the TV off. He grabbed his crutches and got to his feet, hobbling into the kitchen to find something to snack on. The soft hum of the refrigerator was even louder than Sora remembered and he made a noise between a whine and groan, glaring in its general direction.

“It’s too quiet…”

Sora looked around the kitchen almost swearing he heard his voice echo. With a shake of his head, he turned back to the fridge and pulled it open, poking his head inside to search for something good. A second later, his sapphire gaze fell on a container of yogurt and he reached for it, deciding it would occupy his mind for the time being. As he slowly made his way over to silverware drawer to get a spoon, he realized something; the yogurt was new, it hadn’t been opened before now, which meant it was fresh or at least he hoped so. Sora grinned at that thought and put the yogurt down on the counter, his crutches propped against it while used one hand to search for a spoon, and his other to peel the plastic covering back.

“Mmm…it’s peach, my favorite.”

Again, Sora thought heard his voice echo and shivered a bit. The small apartment building they lived in was usually warm and comforting, but right now, it was a little frightening, being all alone in its emptiness. He shook off the creepy feeling he was getting and turned back to his yogurt, dipping a spoon into the pale orange, fruit concoction and hummed a little as he stuck it in his mouth. For a moment, he was distracted by the cold, creamy taste of peaches as he let the yogurt settle on his tongue, savoring it.

Then something happened that shattered his peaceful little world as the phone rang making Sora drop the container of yogurt and nearly jump out of his skin. He clutched the side of the counter tightly to keep from falling over in shock, heart beating quickly. The phone rang again, not as startling, but still piercing the silence like a knife. His eyes rested on the spilled yogurt and he sighed, making a mental note to clean it up in a few minutes as he hobbled over to the phone and picked it up, his voice a little shaky as he spoke into it.

“H-hello?”

“Sora? Are you ok?” Cloud’s voice answered on the other end and Sora started to relax, looking over his shoulder to see how far away the chair was so he could sit down. It was only a few feet away. He could make it.

“Yeah I’m fine. The phone’s ringing just startled me.” He moved backward slowly, keeping an eye on the chair.

“You alone then?”

“Yeah.” Just a few more inches…

Cloud was silent on the other end, contemplating on telling Sora about his and Squall’s argument. He heard Sora sigh happily on the other end, followed by a few scraping noises.

“’K, I’m all comfy now.” Sora grinned, and Cloud chuckled. “Now, what can I do for you?”

Cloud hesitated.

“Cloud?”

“…We had another fight.”

“Aw, Cloud…” Sora got these phone calls every so often, but it still hurt to hear the blond sound so down. “What happened?”

“I brought Yuki into it…”

“Yuki…?”

“…He wasn’t being very sympathetic about what happened to you and Roxy…and I turned the situation on Yuki…” Cloud finished with a sigh.

Sora cringed. “Cloud…”

“I know. I screwed up. Big time.”

Sora shook his head then remembered Cloud couldn’t see him. “No Cloud, you didn’t screw up, but you need to remember Squall doesn’t like to show his feelings. I’m sure he was worried deep down…”

“Yeah, deep, deep, deep down.”

“Cloud…”

He gave heavy sigh. “You’re right…”

“I know. I always am.” The grin was evident in Sora’s voice and Cloud chuckled,

“Thank you for everything Sora.”

Sora stretched, his good leg was cramping, and the bad one was starting to ache a little. “No problem, Cloud. Just remember to back off little things like that, alright?”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Good. So, talk to you later? I kinda dropped my yogurt on the floor and I need to clean it up.”

“Alright then. Take care Sora, call me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Sora heard the soft click on the other end as Cloud hung up and he listened to the dial tone for second before reluctantly hanging up the phone and settling back in the chair with a sigh.

It was too quiet again.

He looked at the clock then the mess on the floor before he got up and moved slowly over to the phone again, picking it up, and dialing a number.

It rang once, twice, three times before someone finally answered.

“Empire Theaters, can I help you?” Sora smiled hearing his husband’s voice. He didn’t say anything, just listened to the other man’s light breathing as he waited for an answer.

“Hello?”

Just a few more seconds and then he’d answer, but Riku got impatient and hung up. Sora whined and stared at the phone as the dial tone sounded, but he pressed redial and listened to the different toned beeps as he called the theater again.

“Empire Theaters, can I help you?”

“I’m sorry Riku; I just wanted to hear your voice.” Sora twirled the cord around his finger. “I miss you…”

Riku sighed, but smiled. “I miss you too Sora, but I’m working right now.”

“Oh. Doing what?”

“…Just working?”

“Yeah, but working on what? Are you cleaning, managing the desk, playing manager—“ Riku cut him off, sounding a little less than patient.

“Sora, I’m on phone duty.”

Sora flinched at the tone of the man’s voice. “Oh…I’m sorry, I’ll let you go then. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Sounds good.”

“Love you.”

“Mm, love you too. Bye.”

And just like that Sora was alone again in the small, empty apartment. It was times like this he wished his little brother was alive. He smiled a little as he tried to imagine what life would have been like if Roxas hadn’t died thirteen years ago…

Riiiing…

“Hello?”

“Rox?”

“Sora?”

Giggle.

“What’s up?”

“I’m bored and lonely…and I made a mess. Can you come over?”

Snort.

“I’m not your maid, Sora. I have a life, unlike you.”

“Excuse me? I have a life too, but I’ve been confined to this damn apartment because of my leg.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. How’s it doing anyways?”

“It …hurts a little.”

“Sucks.”

“Rox?”

“Hm?”

“Roxy doing ok? I mean, is she still scared of Apollo?”

“Yeah. I hate seeing her like this. I mean…she’s…she’s not the same.”

“I know…”

Silence followed by a sigh.

“Rox?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you…”

“Please hang up and try your call again.”

“…Wha?”

“This is a recording. If you need assistance, call an operator…”

With a sudden jolt Sora was brought back to reality to discover he was still holding the receiver and the voice on the other end wasn’t his brother’s, but the recorded one of a woman’s.

He inhaled a shaky breath and hung up the phone.

Now he really was all alone.
~~~

As soon as the bell rang, Rika jumped to her feet and shoved her things in her bag before dashing out of her math class. She could hardly wait to get home so she could prepare a date she had that night with the most popular guy in the whole school. She hardly paid attention to anyone in the hallway as she ran down it wanting to get outside and run home as fast as she could, but all plans came to a halt as she physically came to a halt by slamming into a short, blonde haired girl and fell back on her ass with a groan. The other girl let out a cry as she too fell backwards, the crutches she was using clattered to the floor. Rika blinked and shook her head of her short daze and spotted her cousin across from her, eyes clouded in pain.

“Aw shit… Rox, you ok?” Rika crawled over to the blonde and gathered her crutches. She hoped Roxy didn’t tear her stitches.

“I-I…I think so…” Was the pained reply.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok.”

“Want a piggy back?”

Roxy smiled up at her cousin, who was making a real effort to be nice to her. “Ok.”

Rika knelt down and helped Roxy on her back, careful not disturb her leg any further. “You on?”

“Yep.”

“’K, hang on.” Rika picked up Roxy’s crutches and her bag then started down the hallway once more. She walked in silence for a while until they got closer to her house, she wasn’t about to leave Roxy alone in her’s without having her leg looked at first. The cool October wind blew past leaving her chilled to the bone.

“Halloween is in three weeks.” Roxy smiled, ducking her face down into her cousin’s shoulder to block out the cold.

“I know. But I’m too old to go trick-or-treating.”

“No you’re not. I’m going.”

Rika bit her tongue, tempted to say that Roxy was a baby so of course, she’d be going, but she didn’t. “I’m going to a party.”

“With who?”

She hesitated, not sure if she could tell Roxy or not, “No one.”

“I think you’re lying.”

“Well I’m not.”

“Ri…please.”

“Roxy shut up about it or drop you and let you figure out how to get home without doing any more damage to your precious leg.” As soon as she said it, Rika wished she could take it back, but the damaged was already done.

“Put me down…”

Rika cringed, hearing the hurt in her cousin’s voice, but did as she was told. Roxy didn’t even look at her as she took her crutches and kept on going, past Rika’s house, heading for her own.

“Damn I blew it…” Rika muttered as she kicked a stone and walked the rest of the way home, feeling bad, but if Roxy just learned to not take offense to things so quickly and stop acting like such a baby sometimes, then Rika wouldn’t always feel compelled to say all the mean things she always said.

~~~
Roxy got home just fine and checked her leg to make sure the stitches weren’t torn and fortunately, they weren’t. She was still a little sore though, but dismissed the feeling knowing it would go away eventually. She set about making supper for herself as usual then settled down on the couch to eat and do a little of her homework. She finished not long after six and looked at the clock, wondering where her mother was. He never worked this long. Just as she was beginning to worry, she heard Apollo bark loudly outside and footsteps making their way up the steps.

“Go lay down you big ball of drool.” Axel gave Apollo another pat on the head then shut the door, and instantly the dog began to whine. “Roxy?” He called, taking off his shoes and walking through the kitchen. “You home yet?”

“Yeah, mom, I’m in here,”

Axel smiled and walked into the living room, sitting down next to her on the couch. He kissed the top of her head. “Hi baby. How was school?”

“Alright.”

“Got around ok?”

“Yep.” Roxy smiled. “How come you’re home so late?”

“Oh ya know, paperwork. Three hours of it.” He grinned and she giggled a little. “Worst day of my life.”

…no, the worst day of my life was losing Roxas, yet at the same time, it was the best day of my life because Roxy was born.

Axel found himself chuckling at the irony that day held. Roxas dying, and Roxy brought in to the world, by him, a guy.

“Mom?”

Axel blinked and smiled at her. “What’s up?”

“What are you thinking about?”

For a minute, Axel contemplated telling her that her birthday was also the day her father died, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t sure how she’d handle it—no; he wasn’t sure how he’d handle it.

“I’m just thinking how lucky I am to have you, Roxy. You’re my little girl.” Axel pulled her into his arms and cuddled her. She cuddled right back. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, mommy.”

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you anymore, ok?”

Roxy smiled and cuddled closer. “Ok.”

Axel held her for little while longer, thinking over everything that happened in the last thirteen years, and wondering what life would have been like if Roxas were still alive. During the rest of the evening, he and Roxy played Monopoly then got ready for bed, both needing to wake up early in the morning for work and school. Axel yawned and said goodnight to his daughter as he made his way to his room, the one he would have shared with Roxas. Just as he was climbing into bed and get comfortable he heard Roxy walk in.

“Mom?”

“I know, I know. Come here, kiddo.” Roxy grinned and scrambled under the covers next to her father and cuddled. Axel chuckled softly and kissed her head, saying goodnight once more before turning off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.

This is crazy… she’s thirteen and still sleeps with you. You have to wean her of this, Axel; it’s not healthy for her.

Ever since she was a baby, Roxy slept in his room, either in a crib or the bed, but never in the room Axel asked his brother to paint especially for her. They tried a few times, when she was four, but only because Axel had to go away for a week and asked Riku and Sora to look after her. The days were fine, but at night Roxy always insisted sleeping with her uncles. When Axel came back the following week, Riku tried to convince his brother to get her to sleep in her own room, insisting that she was going to way too dependent on him and that she may never move out when it came time for her to go off to college or university. Things were a little sour afterward, because Axel would keep giving into his daughter’s crying and pleading to sleep with him. Riku and Sora continued to lecture him for it, but in the end, he told them to back off. Roxy was his daughter, not theirs.

What would Roxas do?

Would he allow their daughter to sleep with him and Axel every night for the rest of their lives?

No. He knew that would never happen. Roxas was a little less lenient than Axel when it came to kids, especially the ones he babysat when they were fourteen. Kids who disobeyed Roxas would compare him to Granny Law from the movie Talladega Nights. [1]

With a sigh, Axel knew what he had to do was the right thing, but not necessarily the easy thing. He gently shook Roxy, and she stirred, mumbling something.

“Rox?”

“Mmm…”

“Roxy honey, I think maybe we should try to sleep in our own beds again.”

“Mm…what?” Roxy blinked her eyes open and sat up, “What do you mean?”

“We can’t do this forever.” Axel said quietly. “You’re growing up…and I’m a grown man, it’s just…it’s not right.”

Roxy frowned and shook her head. “No one else has to know.”

“You’re uncles know, darling,” he reminded her gently.

“So? I don’t care what they say. I can’t sleep alone.” She crossed her arms, glaring at Axel defiantly, lower lip jutted out in a pout. The spitting image of Roxas.

Axel looked away, hearing the conversation he and Riku had, in his head.

“If you don’t stop this, Axel, it’s going to get more difficult later on. She’s used to it now, and when she’s older, it will become a regular part of life. What will you do then? It’s not right for a seventeen year old to sleep with fat—er—mother…”

Axel crossed his arms and gave Riku a flat look. “I get the point. But it’s a comfort to her, Riku. She needs it.”

“Well work with her, Axel, help her not need it. She’s ten right now, it’s going to be hard, but you can do it.”

“How?”

“Take it slowly; reward her when she does sleep in her own bed.”

“I don’t know Riku…it seems kind of mean.”

Riku sighed, patience waning, “Roxas wouldn’t stand for this.”

Axel’s head snapped up and his eyes narrowed. “Leave Roxas out of it, he’s gone there’s nothing he can do.”

“Listen to yourself. Not only are you pushing away the people who are trying to help you, you’re even shunning your dead husband too.”

“SHUT UP!”

“Ax-el! Le-t go!”

“Riku, what’s going on in…oh my god! Let go of him Axel!”

Axel shook his head, not wanting to remember any more of that. The plain and simple truth was if Sora hadn’t come in when he did, Axel would have strangled his own brother to death. But from the more logical part of the conversation, he was beginning to realize Riku was right, it was going to get much harder for Roxy to grow out of this bad habit.

“Roxy, you need to start sleeping in your own bed.”

There was no answer.

“Roxy?”

Axel then realized he could feel the warmth from her little body behind him. “One more night,” he sighed, reached out an arm, turned off the lamp, and pulled the blankets over his daughter first, then himself.

“One more night and that’s it.”
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I think this chapter was a little better than my last one. It’s longer and I like the different writing styles I’m experimenting with. Anyways, if you like it or didn’t like it let me know and then from there I’ll decide whether it’s worth putting up a sixth chapter. There will probably be more SquallxCloud in that one.

So keep the reviews coming, and thanks for reading. ^^