In good times and in bad

I

I return to the camp to inform the other Wardens about the new sister. There's not many of us. Twelve, thirteen if you include Duncan. Now fourteen with Rori. Not enough to fight an archdemon and end a Blight, Duncan says. He thinks that's why the archdemon chose Ferelden to make its appearance. There are far more Wardens in Orlais but they won't be here in time for the battle. So it's only us. Nothing to get excited about but Cailan seems to think we are a group of superheroes with extraordinary powers. Well, we're no choirboys but I wouldn't think of myself as a hero. I just do what has to be done. And I am glad I can take part in defending Ferelden.

My brothers are gathered around a campfire. Gregor combs what is left of his beard. That he has any beard left at all is my credit. I splashed my beer into his face when the beard lit like a dry haystack. "Alistair!" he grunts when I step out of the darkness into the ring of light around the fire. The way he says my name it sounds more like Oleestyre. He has a funny accent and I don't understand half of what he says. But I guess it's the same for him because he usually looks confused when I say something. On a second thought, most people look kinda lost when I talk to them.

"How many made it through the ritual this time?" Liam asks. He's a bulky, bald man in his thirties with incredibly bad teeth. On the battlefield he's a berserk but he's afraid of the dentist.

"Only one."

"Who? The thieving bastard from Denerim? He was sneaking around here last night. Thought we didn't notice him," Sawyer snarls. He's the oldest of us, even older than Duncan. His left eye is missing but he never wears an eye patch. The darkspawn doesn't care if he looks pretty, that's what he says. He still is the best archer I have ever seen. And his hearing is very sensitive. That's why he always sleeps with earplugs when he has to share a tent with Gregor. I can't blame him. Gregor snores.

"No, the recruit from Highever. Her name is Rori." Obviously none of my fellow Wardens gets as excited about a girl joining us as I do. And I have to be rather obvious because they all grin at me wolfishly.

"Seems our duckling gets the chance to finally get laid," Liam chuckles and slams his hand so hard on my back that I almost stumble into the fire.

"If he doesn't run away again," Sawyer laughs.

Here's a piece of advice: In case you get drunk with some of your friends and they become doleful and start talking about their lovers, don't tell them you never had one. Make up something interesting. And if you can't think of a good story, just shrug and put on a smile somewhere in between borderline ga-ga and dreamily lecherous.

I've learnt that lesson the hard way. They have been teasing me for weeks now. Sawyer even bought me a whore and sent her to my tent. I tried to talk myself out of it but she was rather determined and I got rid of far too many pieces of clothing before I could escape by crawling out the backside of my tent. I hid inside of Duncan's armour and weapon's chest until he found me there the next morning. He never asked me what I was doing in there wearing no more than my underwear.

One day I will manage to think of something mean enough to pay Sawyer back. Until then I just sulk.

"Rori? Rori Cousland? Teyrn Bryce's little spitfire?" Sawyer croaks. "I already thought Duncan would go to get her when he left for Highever. He wasn't sure her father would let her go."

"He already knew her? I had no idea Rori has met Duncan before. She didn't say anything like that. She punched him straight in the face when she woke after the Joining."

That has Sawyer roaring with laughter. "She did, didn't she? Nothing else to expect." He wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes. "Duncan met her first when she was a little girl. Seven or eight years old, I think. He was in Highever with Maric at that time. Then six years ago Duncan and I went to Highever again to find new recruits. Rori was eleven or twelve then and we both first thought her to be a boy. Skinny little brat that she was."

"She's not that skinny anymore," Liam laughs and lifts his hands to his chest as if cupping female breasts. "Maker's ass, she has some nice tits! Saw her when she arrived with Duncan. And she's a ginger." He nudges me and smirks. "Good luck, duckling."

Sawyer chuckles. Oh, that's not going to be fun. They all will be teasing me for the rest of my life. "She beat the shit out of a boy three years older and a head taller than her. I remember, that stupid brat was bullying an elven child. Duncan wanted to teach him some manners but was beaten to it by the girl. Mind you, she didn't fight fair. That girl knows some nasty tricks. I almost felt sorry for the lad when she kicked his manhood. She was the most promising possible recruit Duncan saw when at Castle Cousland. Said he had already thought so when he first met her a few years earlier and she broke into his locked room, found his Grey Wardens documents and fled out of the window before he could catch her. She must have been seven or eight then. She was too young to recruit her. Duncan said, he'd come back for her some day. Seems that day has come."

I want to ask him more about her but a messenger summons me to meet with Duncan and Rori. Seems he has a special task for us.

"Awww, Alistair has to stay back with the girl," Liam teases and the others join into a chorus of laughter.

I just grin. I know them well enough to not feel insulted. "Lucky me, saves me from having to look at your ugly faces all the time." It's time for goodbye and good luck. It's time to prepare for the battle.

"Try to stay alive, duckling!"

They all hug me and I swear Gregor almost breaks one of my ribs. And he smacks a very wet slurping kiss on my cheeks. Eww. I'd rather get licked by Rori's mabari Barkley. He smells better.