Quarian Directives

 

"Thanks a lot for wasting my fucking time, bitch," growled ShrpDrsdMn21 (Miranda hadn't bothered to get his real name) as he zipped up his terrible suit. Miranda watched him silently from the bed, the guy giving her one last seething look before heading out the door of the penthouse suite.



Sighing, Miranda laid back and stared at herself in the mirror affixed to the ceiling. What the fuck had happened?



When the door chime had sounded ten minutes earlier, announcing the arrival of the quick fling Miranda had arranged on iPartner, the mood had been just right. As soon as he was inside and the door shut, she had slinked her away around the corner in her sexiest lingerie, fixing the eager man with a hungry, unmistakable look.



But after that was when everything started going wrong. As the man had quickly started to remove his gaudy outfit, Miranda had felt a tingle starting inside her. But not down between her legs as she would have expected, but in her stomach. As the man removed his shirt and revealed his slightly-developed chest, Miranda felt herself start to sweat, not from arousal but from the nausea that was starting to build inside her.



"You ready for it, baby?" the man grinned cockily. "Ready to see the beast?"



"Oh... urp... oh, I'm ready," Miranda tried to sound as sexy as possible, all while her lunch threatened to eject itself all over the guy's pride and joy. "At least it couldn't make his clothes look any worse," she thought, and had to hold back the urge to laugh. Guys tended to take that the wrong way in the bedroom.



But in the end, the mood was pretty much ruined before it had started. As the guy yanked down his pants to reveal his intimidating five-inch member, Miranda clutched at her stomach and moaned.



"Don't worry, baby," the man assured her. "I'll be gentle with ya."



"I can't do this," she had said, sitting down on the bed and wishing she could use her biotics to keep her stomach from rolling around inside her. "I... think I might have eaten something that disagreed with me."



"You fucking kidding me?" the guy snapped. "I had to take off early from the Game Shop to come here!"



And when it was clear to ShrpDrsdMn21 that there would be no sex for him tonight, he had quickly gotten dressed and left in a huff. Almost as soon as he had left the room, Miranda felt the nausea pass.



To be replaced with the arousal that had driven her to make this idiotic date in the first place.



Slipping a hand underneath the waistband of her sheer black panties, Miranda idly played with herself, knowing it wasn't going to do the trick. What the hell was wrong with her? Her body was sending her unmistakable signals right now, and stronger than she had ever experienced before in her life. And although the poor guy had had terrible fashion sense, he certainly had been attractive enough for a cheap fuck, at the very least.



So why did the very thought of him even touching her make her want to heave?



Closing her eyes and rubbing herself faster, Miranda tried to think about Jacob. That amazing body, that way he would whisper her name into her ear just as he entered her. But the thoughts of Jacob were getting overwhelmed by images of Samara's naked crotch in her face. Of Garrus, and what strange and beautiful alien biology was hidden under that armor. She made another attempt to envision Jacob's naked torso, but his dark, smooth skin was turning green and scaly in her mind, and soon it was Thane who was walking toward her, touching her, reaching down between her...



"Fine!" Miranda finally exclaimed to herself. "But you know it's going to go poorly," she added as she grabbed her omnitool and accessed the extranet. Navigating quickly, she opened up a new post window, her fingers flying as she typed.



"EMERGENCY! Horny and alone, need a man, any man, NOW!"



With a subject line like that, and her picture attached to her profile, the time to the first response could be measured in nano-seconds.



* * *

Two minutes after choosing her partner, the door chimed again. "Come in," she called, throwing on a white robe over her sheer underwear. She wasn't quite ready to commit to this crazy idea just yet.



The door opened, and a nervous salarian stepped inside. "Uh, hi," he said, always a smooth introduction. "You're... uh... LawBringerSR2?"



"Miranda, please," she gave him a comforting smile as she walked over to him. "You're EarthFanRTNMLPA?"



The salarian nodded, taking a quick glance down at Miranda's robed body before quickly returning his gaze to her face. "It's Rannadar Telios Nim... uh..." he chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry, you can just call me Aren."



"Why don't you come over here, Aren?" Miranda said, tracing her fingers slowly down his arm before taking him by the three-fingered hand and leading him toward the bed.



"Su... sure," Aren stammered, quickly following Miranda to sit on the edge of the mattress. He bounced his legs nervously as Miranda sat down next to him, avoiding her eyes.



Miranda smiled at him, trying her best to put him at ease. "I have to admit, I was surprised to see you answer my iPartner post." Reaching down, she laid a gentle hand on the alien's thigh. "Most salarians aren't that... eager."



Aren gave her a sheepish smile and started nervously babbling. "Well, that's just the way I've always been, I guess. Even when I was in school, I was always so different from the other guys. They were into advanced calculus, theoretical physics... all the cool stuff. Me, I was into... well..."



"Sex?" Miranda said, giving Aren's thigh a light squeeze.



"I guess," Aren said, staring down at Miranda's groping hand like it was a spider about to jump into his face. "I mean, salarian girls never really... I didn't really think they were..."



Miranda raised her hand from Aren's lap to lightly stroke his cheek. "I understand. So, 'EarthFan,' what turned you on to human women? Why not, say, an asari?"



Aren rubbed the back of his neck. "I dunno. Asari are... I mean, by the time they've reached puberty, they've lived longer than most salarians do their whole life! How are you supposed to relate to that, you know? And humans are... you're just so much more..."



"Shh," Miranda said, as she got to her feet and moved to stand in front of him. "No need to put it into words, Aren," she said, whipping her robe open and throwing it to the floor, revealing her nearly naked form to the nervous alien. "Show me how much you want this human body."



Eyes wide, Aren hesitated at first, but finally stood up and moved close to the barely-dressed human offering her body to him. Hands shaking, he reached up towards her chest, staring down at her breasts like he was afraid they would explode if he touched them the wrong way.



"Here," Miranda said. Aren gasped as she grabbed his wrists and boldly placed his hands on her breasts.



The feeling was... indescribable. A few days ago, the thought of having an alien's hands all over her body like this would have made her feel... well, like she felt with the asshole with poor fashion sense just thirty minutes ago. But the unfamiliar sensation of three-fingered hands awkwardly groping her breasts was making her breath come hard and fast.



She pulled his hands away just long enough to unhook the front of her bra, and then directed him to continue rubbing and stroking her now-bare tits. After several minutes of this, Miranda felt like she was about to burst. Grabbing one of Aren's wrists again, Miranda directed his hand downward, to press against her soaked panties.



"I..." Aren stammered, while his fingers rubbed tentatively at Miranda's slit. "I've never done this before," he finally admitted.



Miranda smiled, "That's okay. I've never done it with a salarian before. We've both get to learn a few things tonight." Pushing up right next to him, Miranda slowly slid her body down his, until she was on her knees in front of the virgin salarian.

"Ohhhhh," the salarian moaned as Miranda loosened his belt and slid his pants to the floor. Interesting, she thought to herself. Despite their different breeding methods, salarian cock wasn't all that dissimilar from the human variety. For a brief second, the image of a human penis in her mind brought back the nausea she'd felt earlier, but she focused on the throbbing alien organ in front of her and the sensation passed.



Aren let out a gasp as Miranda darted her tongue out to lap at the head of his stiffening prick. Staring up into his eyes, she swirled her tongue around and around the tip of the alien cock, before running her lips wetly up and down the length of it.



After several minutes of slow oral attention, Miranda pulled away and grinned up at the salarian. "So, are human girls everything you imagined?" she asked.



The weak moan that Aren let out was answer enough for Miranda. Standing up, she reached to the waistband of her dripping panties and cast them off. Moving onto the bed, she crawled on her hands and knees, presenting her ass to Aren.



"Take me," Miranda huskily moaned, "Take me like a filthy fucking animal."



Wait, what? Where had that come from? Miranda didn't have time to wonder why she'd said something like that, though, because the previous terrified Aren was now rapidly getting into position, aiming his cock at her moist slit.



Aren entered her, and Miranda let out a loud moan. "Oh, God, yes," she exclaimed, as Aren began thrusting inside her. "Slap my ass," she blurted out, the words coming out without her even consciously being aware of it.



"What?"



"Slap. My. Ass," Miranda said through gritted teeth. Confused, but too into what was happening to object, Aren delivered a light slap to one of Miranda's asscheeks. "Harder," she demanded, and when the next blow was just as weak, she snapped at him. "Is that all you've got, you fucking pussy? Slap my ass as hard as you can!"



Eyes narrowing, Aren reared back and delivered a hard blow to Miranda's ass, so forceful that it buckled Miranda's knees. "Yes, again!" Miranda cried out, and squealed in delight as another firm slap left a red mark on her backside. As Aren thrust and slapped, Miranda felt like she was going out of her mind with pleasure.



"Fuck me," Miranda babbled, thrusting back against the salarian's cock and wincing in exquisite pain as another rough blow rained down on her now beet-red ass. "Fuck me harder, you alien bastard. Fuck your filthy fucking human whore. Put your cum in me and throw me away like fucking garbage."



She didn't even care what she was saying anymore, letting the stream of filthy, self-degrading language spill out of her mouth without thinking. When she felt Aren's load start to spurt inside of her, her own orgasm hit like an asari dreadnought. By the time the waves of pleasure and bodily spasms had subsided, Aren was already out of bed and nearly dressed.



"Uh..." Aren was stammering again, staring at Miranda strangely. "I gotta go. This was... uh... thanks?" The shaken salarian had barely fastened the last piece of his clothing before he was fleeing out the door.



Letting out a satisfied sigh, Miranda rolled onto her back, looking up to see a sweating, satisfied woman with salarian cum dripping out of her pussy reflected on the ceiling.



Reaching down between her legs, Miranda scooped up as much of Aren's load as she could on her fingers, before bringing her hand up to her mouth and starting to lick it off. The taste was bitter, but still so delicious.



"Well, Miri," she thought to herself as she sucked the last drops of cum off her fingers. "Mark it in the history books. Your first fuck with an alien."



"And definitely not the last," said another voice in her head. One that she wasn't entirely sure was hers.



* * *

"What the..." Shepard stared from the airlock door as Miranda made her way up the gangway of the Normandy.



Very, VERY slowly made her way up the gangway, stepping gingerly but still wincing at the throbbing pain in her backside. "Don't ask," she said to Shepard. "How did things go with you?"



Ever since what happened on the Migrant Fleet, Shepard's smiles were a rare occasion. So it gave Miranda a good feeling to see a happy expression come to her commander's face. "Great. I shouldn't have even worried."



"I'm happy for you, Shepard," Miranda said. "You and..."



Their conversation was interrupted by a loud clatter from behind them. They both turned to see Jack cursing as she struggled with something on the ground.



When Jack turned around, Miranda heard Shepard let out a muffled guffaw. The hard-nosed psychopath was wearing a frilly pink blouse over her usually nearly-naked torso. And in her arms were about twenty cans of Tupari, the pile of soft drinks barely balanced in the convict's tattooed arms.



"Jack, why do..." Shepard started to say.



"Don't fucking ask," Jack snarled, as she went through the airlock onto the Normandy.



Shepard raised an eyebrow at Miranda. "Looks like the rest of the crew had a much more interesting day than I did."



Thinking back to her rough encounter with the nervous salarian, Miranda couldn't help but smile a little. "I guess so. Suppose we..."



"Quick, coast is clear!" called out a voice from behind them. Both of them turned to see Jacob and Kasumi dashing up the gangway. Both of them in their underwear, and soaking wet.



Giggling, Kasumi breezed past Miranda and Shepard onto the Normandy. Jacob made to follow her, but stopped in front of the two commanding officers. "Don't..."



"Wasn't even gonna ask," Shepard quickly interjected. A trail of water dripping behind him, Jacob briskly entered the Normandy.



"I think we'd better get going," Shepard said, adding with a smirk, "before Garrus walks up in a bowtie and stripper pants."



Miranda nodded, "Definitely," she said, although she ended up hanging onto that image for a good long time afterward.