Of Love and Culture

Chapter 3:
The Clan

Perhaps I have died. Perhaps I have finally lost all shreds of humanity left within me and my mind has finally snapped, letting me hallucinate the joys that I wish so deeply to have had in life.

The Park was warm and quiet. The Alpha was very enraged at having been sedated twice, though he lacked the power to fight me. Granted, I too lacked the power to stop him should he rise once more. Sai’s scent was in the air, this I remember, and it made my stomach turn in anticipation. I did not wish to see his eyes. I could not bear to see pain or fear in his eyes for the fact that I would have probably broken down and sobbed right before him.

Everything was…unstable around me. My reality was already warped from the serum. Some small part of me felt eyes watching me and on instinct I looked up.

Sai.

The first time I had truly gotten to see his face since his return. Something hit me though. Something powerful made my weakened body enslaved. The look in his eyes was not that of pain or fear as I had so dreaded, but pity. He looked as if he might cry from some overwhelming sadness.

What made you so sad, my love?

I could not move. I was frozen in shock, because for the very first time I looked at Sai…he looked back at me. Not in fear as he had the day before, but he genuinely saw me. Something I had never experienced before. I felt the same overwhelming sense of joy and rapture that I had the day I first saw him.

Suddenly I felt the softest press of a gentle hand on my cheek and I realized that it was him. He was responding to me. My body was in such distress that the Alpha within him that was so ingrained into his subconscious, the mate to the Alpha I fought with every day, was overriding Sai and responding to my weakness.

Two hands upon my cheeks, I could hear his heart pounding in his chest. Or perhaps it was my own.

My knees touched the grass and his voice was like silk against my battered soul. I do not recall what I said, but the groggy Alpha within me paused his futile struggling…and lay dormant. For the first time in centuries, the Alpha was completely silent of his own will. Having such a break from my own inner demon was so much of a weight lifted from my soul that I collapsed into sleep so wholeheartedly in Sai’s lap.

I realize now that I am either in complete insanity, or I am supposed to be dreaming. But dreams are supposed to be of one’s ambitions, one’s joys in life. Long ago I had let go of all hope I had in my soul to let my Alpha chew at it, and after yesterday… There could be no happier moment in my life than where I lay right now.

I am aware, I believe, of the world around me. Words are not discernable and reality is uncertain. But there are two things in this partial dream I experience that I would give anything I possibly could to have again. The soft, distant sound of Sai’s fluttering heartbeat and the gentle press of long, deft fingers sliding through my hair. This feeling is not pleasant, not erotic, but…complete.

If I am to die in this moment, I will truly die happy.

But no amount of happiness is meant to last. I know this.

---

“What…is the Clan?” That was the first question out of little Sai’s mouth. The poor little Kal’Dorei nervously ran his fingers through the surprisingly soft hair of the Druid claiming his lap, waiting for his question to be answered.

Altrun sighed softly. “The Clan, specifically, is a group of Druids who follow a very set path dictated by its original leader Rane Nightstorm. He followed very closely in the ways of nature, setting a path close to those of the wolves. Originally it was set up as a Pack structure, but as he gained more followers before the time of the Emerald Dream he called it the Clan. Legend has it that Elune herself blessed all those who followed the Clan for they were the truest to what the Druid were supposed to be. A balance of nature and humanity.”

“And you…are of the Clan?”

Altrun nodded solemnly.

“As is…Bane?”

Altrun nodded again. “Since its creation, the Clan has followed a very strict set of parameters by which it is allowed to act. It is what keeps Elune’s favor, and it is this that gives her pride to bless each of us with power, wisdom, and a happy future.” The druid stared straight ahead, watching the path leading into the Park.

Sai wrapped his mind around this as best as he could, trying desperately to accept this much. “And what are these…strict Parameters?”

“There are many of them, though few of them inhibit a normal life. The utmost respect for anyone who is of the Clan, complete loyalty to any ailing Clansman requesting help, meditation with Mother every day to keep the bond strong and our paths clear. Those are just a few, of course.”

“Why does Bane believe me to be his mate, and why does he always look like he’s in so much pain?” For some reason Sai could not understand his fingers wrapped protectively around the back of Bane’s neck. The man shifted in response, nuzzling more fully into Sai’s thigh.

Altrun had turned his eyes to watch this subtle interaction between the two and a smile touched his lips.

“Within every member born into the Clan, they possess their Humanity and a Beast. For every member of the Clan, their beast determines their rank, the power and ferocity is a show of their abilities. I was born with one as well. Mine is a Beta, as many are. Within Bane, however, is a very ferocious Alpha.”

Sai blinked and looked from Altrun to Bane, confused.

“A mate is incredibly important in our culture. They are cherished, often seen as a second half of the soul within us and we have no social status or respect until we have ours. The mate, too, possesses a beast, though often much more subtle and weaker than our own, and it is this that binds us together. We are normally blind to our mate, seeing them as anyone else unless we happened upon them romantically by chance. However, it is our Beast that sees past the other and into the beast that often lays dormant within them. Once this happens they are bound for life.”

Sai blushed and looked away. “I have no Beast within me.”

“Bane’s Alpha certainly seems to think so. He has been trying so hard to awaken it within you.”

“But see! He hasn’t awoken it because it’s not there. I believe…that he became fixated on me, not the beast. I can’t be his mate. It has to be someone else.”

“Sai, why do you fear the idea of Bane being your mate so deeply?”

The boy fell silent. It was a question that Tabitha had similarly asked last night. It had been a question he had asked himself many times that morning. “He is a man.” the boy stated firmly, “Dominant males want submissive women, someone to bare their children.”

Altrun chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Actually, many Alphas, especially the stronger ones, are given male mates. Or at least, mostly males. Men are seen as stronger, less submissive and more able to act on their own. They are more desirable in means of respect and often more sexually fulfilling, as many Alphas desire a challenge more than a female willing to submit to them.”

“M-Mostly male?” Sai’s voice broke in his nervousness.

“You’re…hermaphroditic. Within males mated by Clansmen there are decidedly male parts…along with necessary female parts, giving them the ability to carry young. A uterus, to be precise.”

Sai flushed a deep shade of red. “I HAVE NO SUCH THING!” He reached down and one arm covered his belly, “I do not bleed as a woman does in the month.”

“That is because these organs do not mature until the Beast within you becomes active. Once that happens your body will prepare itself for carrying a child, just as a woman’s body does when she matures.” Altrun reached down and wrapped his fingers around Sai’s chin, “Please look at me Sai. Bane’s beast reacted to you and has not been silent since. For seven years now Bane has believed you dead. The Clan has all but rejected him and he has had not a single day of peace from the Alpha that rages within him. Oftentimes when a Clansman does not take his mate, when the Beast feels cheated, it drives its host into complete insanity and I have watched my Brother slipping more and more lately.”

Altrun’s eyes shined with unshed tears, pain at having to watch his brother be tormented by his inner demon for so long. Watching his resilient brother slowly crumble under the weight of his own nature.

“I ask you…I beg you…give him a chance. You do not have to love him, or even become his mate but please do not just turn your back on him and walk away.”

Sai was speechless. His mouth hung open as his mind searched for something, anything at all, to say. He could not just refuse his old mentor, he could not turn his back when he saw his friend’s eyes hollowed with pain, knowing that the eyes of the sleeping man in his lap were filled with so much more.

Why did he fear Bane so deeply? Those eyes. That sadness… It made sense now, somewhat. The hunger and the need was the beast within the man. He could not deny that Bane must have some sort of inner demon. The pain was from Bane’s struggle and losing to the so-called Alpha.

But he knew that he could have no such effect over someone’s heart and their very soul. There had to be a mistake.

“I will not turn my back on him…if only to show him that I am not his mate. I’m sure that once he sees me up close he’ll come to realize that he made a mistake.”

Altrun did not appear all that convinced, but in the end he sighed. For now it was the best he could do for his brother, and he only hoped that Sai’s Alpha would rise up and show the boy the truth. “Let him wake on his own then. Allow him a small time of peace, at least.”

Sai looked up at Altrun and gave a weak smile, then nodded. His hand gently wrapped a little tighter around Bane’s neck in comfort and he leaned back heavily against the Moon Well. He thought for a while and realized that he had enough on his mind, and had no more questions that needed to be asked. Altrun gave the boy a hug and stood to leave, Bane now drooling on poor Sai’s leg.

As time slowly drifted by, Sai could not help but notice some of Bane’s features. Perhaps the man could easily be considered handsome in some ways. He was definitely earthy, powerfully built and dangerous. Sai’s mind drifted to the day before. Lying pinned beneath that powerful body sent all new chills up his spine. Looking past those ferocious eyes he realized how incredibly gentle the man had to have been to prevent serious injury to the boy. His mind flittered to the feel of the man’s tongue against the flesh of his neck, the lips that touched his flesh and knowing that those sharp teeth had not pierced him.

He blushed when he realized where his mind was going and looked down only to find Bane laying on his back, staring up at him.

His eyes were more focused now than they had been earlier, and some of the ferocity had also returned. His blush deepened as he wondered how long the druid had been watching him, wondered if he could tell what was on Sai’s mind.

Slowly and very carefully Bane rolled over without breaking eye contact and sat up and back. “Please don’t run.” the man said.

Sai seemed speechless, mouth agape as he searched for something to say.

“I want…to apologize for yesterday…” Bane was working so hard to maintain control. Now that Sai knew the differences of the looks in his eyes, he watched the Beast fighting and felt his heart sinking. He could never know what went on in Bane’s mind and soul. “My actions were…less than appropriate. I did not mean to harm you, or frighten you.”

Sai wanted so badly to see Bane stop suffering. He wanted to show the man that his real mate was out there waiting for him, waiting and wanting. For now, though, as he watched the struggle in the druid’s eyes it was all he could do to reach out and touch his finger’s to the man’s cheek, his lips froze instantly as the words in his throat died at this, and the smaller druid leaned in to press the softest kiss to the corner of Bane’s lips.

“I am sorry I hurt you.” Said whispered, “But you must understand. I am a man, unable to bare your children, unable to pleasure you in bed. I possess no beast within me, only a deep sympathy for your pain. I do not wish to see anyone suffer like this.”

Bane gave a light growl that wavered more into a whimper, “You respond to me.” he stated, “When you are least aware, your beast does shine through. He responds to me, reaches out to my own. You are the only creature in this world able to sooth the monster in my soul, where I can merely contain it.”

Sai shook his head, “No, no Bane you see only what you wish to see! You do not even know me, nor I you and yet you’ve given yourself so wholly to this idea! Were I your mate and this bond is as strong as Altrun claims, would I not know as well?”

The man fought with a slew of emotions, anger, disbelief, disappointment, pain, defeat. Each one vanished almost as quickly as it appeared, “I have been at your side longer than you would probably like to know, Sai. Your favorite color is silver, your favorite flower is a Purple Lotus, you hate the rain because you can’t help but cry in it, you love to chase your tail when you think nobody is looking, you cry at the end of happy plays, your birthday is the forth day of Spring and finally…you hate being alone, and you’ve always felt alone because you’ve never found anyone who would want to spend the rest of their life with you.” Bane’s speech ended on a shaking breath as he realized he’d probably spilled too much of what he should have kept hidden.

Sai was speechless once more. Bane could not seem to tell if he was frightened, flattered or just shocked by this. He actually did not know what to think, sputtering for words.

Silence fell tense between the two as neither could think of what to do or say.

“Zai?” The moment was shattered by a familiar voice thickly laden with the notable Draenei accent.

Sai looked up and his face brightened when he saw Ardoor standing a short ways off. The once bald Eradar now sported long brown hair behind his flared frill, and was a whole lot larger than how the little druid remembered this old friend, made no less intimidating by the immense plated armor that adorned his body.

“Ardoor!” Sai sprung up and ran to leap joyously into the waiting Draenei’s arms.

Ardoor smiled softly, careful not to seem overly excited. Only then did he seem to notice Bane glaring the man down though showed no sense of unease at stealing the younger’s attention, “I’m zorry, am I interrupting zomezing?”

“Yes,” began Bane.

“No…” Sai chirped at the same moment, then paused to look back.

Bane held Sai’s eyes and could not stop the light growl in his throat, causing the younger’s ears to lower some. “We are not done with this conversation.” the man said sternly, glaring at Ardoor as he passed.

Sai could see the beast in Bane’s eyes was prominent, though he could still see some of the pain deep down. He opened his mouth to protest, but he did not look forward to the end of their conversation and so, unable to think of anything else to do, wrapped his arms around Ardoor’s neck and hugged him.

“I missed you.” he whispered to the Draenei.

---

(( AN: I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I do hope that it answered a few questions. I know that ShadowKnight mentioned a dislike against the MPreg due to biological issues in an earlier chapter. I am aware that MPreg isn’t for everyone, and that biologically it should not be possible but I would not use it if I didn’t have some science behind it. It’s not a fix-all, but this is a fantasy world where purple elves turn into animals so, haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I promise that the next one is going to be a good deal longer. As usual, please excuse spelling/grammar errors. One of these days I'm gonna go back and get all of those sorted out, haha. ))