Woman without a Country

Ludmilla led them through the mining facility to the Harbinger, to use it as a shortcut to reach the sealed bay where Kreia's ship was docked. She could feel Atton's eyes on her, feel his doubt of her, his distaste for Kreia. She didn't quite understand his hatred of Jedi, and wondered how much she had missed in the Jedi Civil War. How many had fallen to the Dark Side? How much damage had Revan and Malak caused?
She still couldn't quite reconcile the image of Revan's handsome and loyal lover with the idea of a Sith Lord. Malak? Brave and noble Malak? It was easier to imagine Revan falling, and she realized that if Revan had truly fallen to the Dark Side, then Malak would have followed her. He would have followed her anywhere. But to fight her? Malak, fighting Revan? That was the part she couldn't deal with.
The door opened, and without thinking, she brought her blade up to block an invisible attack. The stealth field flickered, and revealed a Sith Assassin.
For a while, Atton hadn't been quite sure if Ludmilla had really been telling the truth. Her prowess in battle was remarkable. Even without her Jedi powers, she had easily handled the droids. But now, fighting the Sith-trained assassins, he realized that she was, indeed, all that the stories said of her. She changed, when combat started. Even through their stealth fields, the assassins never surprised her. She seemed to know where they were before they did. She moved so fast that her vibroblade sang as she fought, her motions swift and strong and graceful. She hit hard, too, striking critical points more often than not. Atton grinned when he saw her follow up a block with a swift kick to the groin of an assassin.
"You didn't learn that from the Jedi," he grinned.
Ludmilla flashed him a bright smile, and smoothly ducked so that he could fire his blaster over her. "You're a good shot," she observed.
"Thanks," said Atton, "and that's despite the distracting view from back here."
"Perhaps we should save the mutual adoration for later?" said Kreia acidly. "If there is a later."
Atton was tired of the old woman's needling voice already. He just wanted to get out of here, and settle down with a few bottles of whiskey in a bar somewhere until he forgot all about the slightly slanted green eyes and graceful curves of the Jedi Exile.
"Don't worry, we'll make it," said Ludmilla calmly, and her confidence communicated itself to her companions. Having faith in her was as easy as breathing.
They ran down another hallway, and Ludmilla stopped. "This was my room," she said suddenly, and unlocked the door. She walked in, and looked around. Her bag wasn't here. She checked the footlocker, and found a few minor personal things. She swore angrily.
"What is it?" asked Kreia.
"My cigarettes are gone!"
Both Kreia and Atton stared at her in disbelief.
"You smoke?" asked Atton.
"No, because some chakaar stole my bag!" She snarled in frustration and stood up.
"It is a bad habit, and a crutch," said Kreia disapprovingly. "You're better off without them."
"Well, I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?" she snapped. The disappointment was terrible. The antique silver case and matching lighter, the collection that she had painstakingly built up over the years, all gone. The urge, impossible to satisfy, was stronger than ever, and she was glad that there were legitimate targets for her frustration. "Let's go."
They fought their way to the engine deck, slowly unfolding the story of what had happened onboard. Just as they approached the first door to the engine room, both Kreia and Ludmilla stopped. Something was on the ship with them, the same thing that was behind the Sith Assassins and the massacre of everyone on the Harbinger.
"You feel it, don't you? You sense his presence." Kreia frowned, and the door slid open. At the end of the hall, there was a man. At least, it looked like a man, in that it had the shape of one, had arms and legs, and a head.
Ludmilla realized that this was the thing that the logs in the med lab had mentioned. He looked – how was he moving? Was he even alive? One eye-socket was nothing more than a white shell. The surface of his skin crawled with corruption, cracked and ravaged. His face was set in a permanent grimace of pain. Darkness and agony seemed to seep from him, and he stood there, watching them, without saying a word. She stared at him, but he didn't seem to see her. He was focused on Kreia.
Kreia stepped forward. "Go, this battle is mine." Her wrinkled face curved in a sudden smile, sensing Ludmilla's reaction. "I am not entirely defenseless, child. His power blinds him, and he cannot kill where he cannot see. Go, I shall be along shortly. Go!"
The command was imperative, demanding, and Atton found himself moving away in the direction that Kreia had indicated before he realized that Ludmilla wasn't following. She was still staring at the Sith Lord.
"What are you doing?" Atton demanded. "She's buying us time to get out of here, let's go!"
"I'm trying to see the color of his eyes." Ludmilla's voice sounded strange, as if she had just woken up from a long sleep.
"Eyes? He only has one! Come on!" He pulled her out of the Sith Lord's sight. The Sith Lord didn't seem to have noticed them at all, and was staring at Kreia with an angry frown. "Typical stupid old Jedi," snarled Atton as Kreia sealed the door, locking herself in with the Sith Lord.
"What?"
"Wake up!" he shook Ludmilla a little, trying to break her free of whatever spell the Sith Lord had put on her.
"Stop that!" she pulled away from him. "What… oh. Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me." She put her hand up to her head. "Who… what was that?"
"I'm going to go out on a limb," said Atton grimly, "and guess, from the scars and the glowing red wounds, and the aura of death, that it's a Sith Lord."
"And Kreia – "
"Yeah, Kreia. Now let's go." Atton didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to like the old Jedi, or feel grateful to her for saving them. He didn't want to like any Jedi. "How are we going to get off this hellhole and get to your ship?"
Ludmilla looked around quickly. "Here." She pointed at the line on the map that connected the Harbinger back to the mining facility. "We can go through here."
"What, there? Through the fuel lines? Are you nuts?"
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Well, a few minutes ago I would have suggested surrendering, but now, no. No, I don't. Let's go."
They ran down through the engine room, and entered through the fuel valve. As they climbed down into the pipes, suddenly Ludmilla froze, her face white with agonizing pain. She clutched her hand to her body, and sank to her knees, gasping, almost falling down the last rung of the ladder.
"What? What is it? What's wrong?" Atton knelt beside her, cradling her in his arms.
"Kreia," she gasped, "she's been hurt. Wounded. I can feel it… everything she feels… the pain…." Ludmilla moaned, and buried her face in Atton's chest, instinctively seeking comfort.
"Is she dead?"
Ludmilla shook her head. "No, the Sith left her… he's coming after us. After me."
Atton tightened his arms around her. "Can you walk?"
She nodded. The sensation was already fading. Somehow, by sharing Kreia's pain, she had helped the older woman survive. "We… we should hurry."
Atton helped her to her feet. For someone who was trying not to get involved with a Jedi, he knew he was doing a terrible job. But who would have thought someone so dangerous would be so vulnerable? Or so beautiful? He watched her wipe away tears, the marks of her shared suffering, and realized that he'd never seen a Jedi cry before.
"I'm ready," she whispered. "Let's go."
They continued through the fuel lines, hurrying.
"Do you hear that?" Atton asked.
There was another questioning beep.
"That's him! The droid who helped us earlier!" Ludmilla ran around the corner, and stopped just short of hugging the little droid. "Are you okay? You've been shot!" She fussed over the little droid, who responded with a quick series of clicks and beeps.
"Seriously, it's a droid. It's not alive," Atton grumbled.
The droid, an unusually small T3 unit, beeped at him.
"Oh, I understand you just fine," snapped Atton. "I just don't care. I don't believe in peris, either."
The T3 unit burbled at him, and then led them down to the storage area so they could access the hangar.
Ludmilla just laughed, oddly happy to have found an unexpected friend at just the right time.
"What's a chakaar?" he asked suddenly, but didn't stop walking down the tunnel. "It's Mandalorian, right?"
Ludmilla smiled, but kept her eyes on the tunnel ahead. "It means 'grave robber.' It's a terrible insult, to a Mandalorian, anyway."
"Good to know. Are you a Mandalorian? Or rather, were you?"
She sighed. "I am not a Mandalorian."
"Is that the hangar?" said Atton, quickly changing the subject. "Finally. Hey, the door is still sealed."
T3 beeped. "T3 will slice the computer and get the door open." The little utility droid got them inside, and they ran up to the Ebon Hawk at last. The ship had been repaired, but still looked battered. However, the diagnostics reported that it was spaceworthy and that was enough. The gangplank slowly descended, and Atton started to run up, eager to enter the ship.
Suddenly, Ludmilla grabbed him, threw him back. Atton recovered neatly, and didn't fall, twisted in time to see her crossing blades with two men in Sith armor. T3 squeaked, and began shooting electrical blasts to stun the troopers.
"And now there are Sith Assault Troopers on the ship. You know, this day has gone downhill ever since you put clothes on."
Unable to stop herself, Ludmilla burst out laughing, but her blade never stopped moving. Atton and T3 stood behind her, shooting at the troopers inside the ship.
"How many of them are there?" Atton snarled, and the droid beeped in response.
"Well, there are only twenty now," laughed Ludmilla as she cut down another trooper.
"Nineteen," said Atton as he shot one down, and T3 clicked and zapped another one. "Hey, this isn't a competition," said Atton. "Sixteen. We're all in this together."
"Clear out the bridge," Ludmilla commanded. "I'll take the cargo bay. T3, check the garage."
"You know, I almost feel sorry for these guys," mused Atton. "Almost." T3 electrocuted another trooper, and together they eliminated the remaining intruders. Atton headed for the bridge, and T3 went to check the rest of the ship while Ludmilla went to the medical bay to patch up a cut on her arm. T3 checked the garage, the cargo bay, and had just headed for the main crew quarters, then burst into loud squeals and came whizzing back to her.
"What?" Ludmilla ran to the cabin, where Kreia was slowly lowering herself to sit on a bunk. "Kreia! How did you get here?"
"There's no time, tell that fool to get out of here. Quickly." Her voice was rough with pain, but she waved Ludmilla away. "Quickly!"
Ludmilla ran to the bridge. "Atton! Get us out of here!"
"Right," Atton fired up the engines, and the Ebon Hawk stirred to life. Ludmilla watched in fascination as his hands flew over the panels, and the ship began to rise. "We are out of here!" he exclaimed, and the Ebon Hawk shot out into space. "Okay, let's see what Telos IV is like this time of year."
"Telos? Why Telos?" Ludmilla's heart sank in her chest. "Telos is an Outer Rim world. I'm not supposed to go there."
"Well, we don't have a choice. That's that only destination that we got from the Harbinger's navcomputer."
Ludmilla blinked. "The Harbinger."
"Yeah, the ship we just left, remember?"
"Yes, I remember. The engine was dead, but the weapon systems were working just fine. We need to go faster."
Atton turned and stared at her. "We're flying through what is effectively an explosive minefield. Shooting at us would be suicide."
"More fast flying, less doubting the Sith Lord's desire to kill us."
Atton turned back and started touching more buttons. "Go tell that droid to do whatever he can with the hyperdrive and the engines. We need all the speed we can get."
Ludmilla ran back to the engine room, where T3 was already frantically working with the engines. "Thanks, T3! I should have known you'd already be on it. I'll let you work," she smiled, and ran back to the bridge. T3 whistled happily as she left, and continued working.
Atton brought up the scanner. "It's only half working, but at least we can check."
"There." Ludmilla pointed to the Harbinger, which had just disconnected from the mining facility. "He's out of his mind. Is he just going to let it drift?"
The cruiser, disconnected from the dock, turned slowly so that its guns were facing the Ebon Hawk.
"He's using the Force to move the ship," said Ludmilla in disbelief.
"And he really is going to fire on us. Starting evasive maneuvers!" The Harbinger fired, hitting a nearby asteroid instead of the Ebon Hawk due to Atton's masterful skill. The asteroid exploded, taking four more asteroids with it, causing a chain of shockwaves that rattled the ship. "Great, either he hits us and we die, or he keeps missing us, and we die."
"Just keep our distance! Is there any way we can jump to hyperspace?"
"Not until we clear the asteroid field," said Atton grimly. "This isn't looking good." Atton continued dodging, trying to get the Ebon Hawk out of range of the Harbinger's guns.
Ludmilla watched the Harbinger's fire pattern. "He can't see us. He's trying to aim with the Force."
"Aim with the Force? So, what, he's sensing us? How does that work?"
"Badly," Ludmilla grinned. "The greater the distance, the less accurate it gets."
"He's stopped firing! Now's our chance." Atton concentrated on escaping the asteroid field while there was a pause in the firing. The Harbinger rose slightly, trying to get closer, and then fired again. Fast as thought, Atton moved the Ebon Hawk and the blast hit a large asteroid behind them. "Oh, that's not good." He pushed the Ebon Hawk as fast as it would go. The ship shuddered slightly around them, and T3 squeaked in protest. Behind them, the chain of explosions continued until the inevitable happened: an asteroid too close to Peragus itself exploded, and the entire planet detonated with unimaginable force. The Ebon Hawk hit hyperspace just in time, riding the first shockwave. "Wow. We just killed a planet. Is it okay if I forget to mention that to my next employment prospect?"
Kreia staggered into the bridge. "I still cannot decide what is faster, your skill at piloting or your idiot tongue. The Sith Lord was seeking you, Jedi." Kreia sat down in the co-pilot's seat. Ludmilla leaned against the wall, in shocked silence.
Atton turned around to face her again. "Why? Why are they after her?"
"Because she is the last of the Jedi. Once they have destroyed her, they have won."
"I am not a Jedi," she said shakily. "They're wrong. And it can't be! I can't be the last! What about the Council? How can everyone in the Order be dead?"
"They think you are a Jedi," said Kreia grimly, "and so they hunt you. Not all the Jedi are dead, child. It is true, many died in the Mandalorian Wars. Teachers left their students to go fight, students abandoned their training. Then the Force turned on itself, and Jedi turned against Jedi."
"Or as the rest of us like to call it, the most destructive break-up in history."
"Be silent, fool," Kreia hissed.
"His name is Atton," said Ludmilla wearily. "Tell me about the war."
Atton looked at her gratefully, but kept his tongue.
Kreia pointedly turned away from him, facing Ludmilla directly. "Some turned their backs on the Order after the Mandalorian wars, but more fell to the Dark Side under Revan's command, and she began a new Sith empire."
"I knew about the Sith empire, that reached out even to the Outer Rim. But I never realized that Revan..."
"Revan ruled the Sith for years, until Malak finally rose to challenge her. It is the way of the Sith. He failed at first, then struck again, wounding her to death. She was saved by the Jedi Council, and returned to the Light, defeating Malak once and for all. The Sith empire crumbled into a collection of petty warlords, but the damage was already done. It was the death blow to the Order, and less than a hundred Jedi remained. One by one, they have been turned or hunted down. Now, all that is left is... you."
"But if the Sith are gone, then who... what was that? That you fought?"
Kreia sighed. "Revan and Malak went to the Unknown Regions, and returned ... changed. They brought back new Sith teachings, and in their meddlings, they have awakened Dark powers that seek to destroy the Jedi completely. This threat is greater, more damaging, than anything you have yet faced," she said warningly. "It may not even be possible to win this battle."
Ludmilla looked at her, but Kreia's face was hidden by her deep hood. "All battles can be won."
"You sound like a Mandalorian," muttered Atton under his breath, and both women ignored him.
"Can they, child? Can you win alone? You will need weapons, allies... a teacher. All of which you must be willing to risk and lose. You fought in the Mandalorian wars. You lost everything. Will you survive if you must sacrifice it all a second time?"
"I'm lost," said Atton quietly. "What is she talking about?"
Ludmilla didn't answer.
"Think carefully," warned Kreia. "If you start down this path, there will be no retreat."
"They've already forced me on this path," said Ludmilla bitterly. "After seeing what they're willing to do, how can I turn away? If I try to hide, they'll just kill me, and then everyone else. And if no one stands against them, everyone will die anyway."
"So you will sacrifice yourself for an Order that rejected you? That you no longer believe in?"
Ludmilla stared at the floor of the bridge. "I make my sacrifices for my own reasons. Don't try to guess my motives."
"Still lost," muttered Atton.
"Enough. My wound pains me," said Kreia, rising from the chair. "If you have more questions, I will be in my quarters. We can speak more there, without the risk of being interrupted by the flapping tongues of fools." Kreia walked slowly to the medical bay, to tend to her wounds, and T3 zipped back to the engine room, almost as if it had been listening to their conversation.
Ludmilla turned away, refusing to meet Atton's eyes, and walked off the bridge.
"Okay, I'll just pilot us around. No need to fill me in. I think I'll just fly into a star," Atton grumbled to himself, then jumped as a mild shock ran through him. "Ow!" He looked down and saw the T3 unit zipping away again. "You little rust bucket!" He jumped out of the pilot's chair and chased the droid, so intent on his pursuit that he nearly ran right into Ludmilla, who was standing in front of the door to the storage compartment. "Ooops," he stopped himself just in time, and she smiled at him in surprise.
"What are you doing?"
"I was…chasing… never mind. What are you doing?"
"I was going to put these extra weapons in storage, but this door is locked."
Atton looked at the pile of weapons. "Where did those come from?" he asked in confusion.
"The Sith troopers. I stripped their equipment and spaced the bodies." She gestured at the locked hatch. "Can you do anything about the door?"
"Sure," Atton pulled out his tools, and easily defeated the security. The door slid open, to reveal a damaged protocol droid and a collection of odds and ends. "How did that get here?"
Ludmilla shook her head. "This ship is just full of surprises." She checked the droid, and the head fell off. "I think he's gonna need a little work." She sat down, and checked the internals of the head. "Pieces are missing, and this is a custom job." She stared curiously at the head again, then reached up and checked the hands. "Interesting."
"What is it?" Atton leaned against the door, and watched her. "Find something?"
Ludmilla shook her head. "Not exactly, it's just… very customized. I've never seen anything like this model before, and the way it's put together reminds me of someone, that's all. She was always very … particular… about her materials."
"It looks like that droid that tried to kill us earlier."
"Only on the outside," Ludmilla explained. "This one is much more complex. Someone tried to copy it, but they couldn't replicate it exactly. They cut corners, whoever made this didn't." She stood up and showed Atton the interior of the droid's head. "See?"
"What the – is that gold?"
Ludmilla nodded, and began to reattach the head to the body.
Atton shook his head. "Right, then, I'll let you get on with that and see what's in the galley. I'm not holding out much hope, but hey, like you said, this ship is full of surprises. Maybe we'll get lucky I'll find some grazers in cold storage. Or some gornt! I could make bette-pone."
Ludmilla looked at him. "Can you cook?"
"Can I cook, she asks!" he scoffed. "I can make shoe leather palatable. Just don't ask me to cook for a Hutt, I can't bring myself to do it." Atton laughed and headed for the galley.
Ludmilla tried not to stare at Atton and went back to fixing the droid as much as she could, then put the salvaged parts and weapons into the storage compartment.
Kreia followed the smell of tempering chocolate to the galley. "What are you doing?" she asked Atton.
Atton looked over his shoulder to make sure Ludmilla was out of earshot. "I'm cooking, what does it look like?"
"The chocolate. That's not food, that's a bribe."
Atton grinned. "Fine, you caught me." He held up a battered leather bag that had been repaired numerous times. "It was in the storage compartment where we found that droid, but she didn't notice. I guess that first assassin droid left it there."
"And you stole the cigarettes."
"Those things are poison," he complained. "I hate them."
"Not more than I do," said Kreia grimly. "What did you do with them?"
"Well, I hid them, and I was going to give her the bag back with the chocolates instead. I think it's a fair trade, don't you?"
"Where are they?" Kreia demanded.
Atton sighed, and pulled out a storage box from the cold storage.
Kreia took the box, and checked it. "Is this all of them?" she asked again. Atton nodded, and she tossed the box into the ejector and jettisoned them into space. "You'll thank me for that," she said calmly as Atton stared at her. "Kissing someone after they've had a cigarette is a horrible experience." Kreia helped herself to some chocolate from the pile of finished ones that Atton had laid out to set on the table, and walked back upstairs before he recovered from his shock.
Ludmilla carried another set of blankets and pillows to the cargo hold, and finished setting up a sleeping space for herself in the alcove there. She heard someone enter the hold, and turned.
"Hello," said Atton. "You know, there are plenty of bunks. Why are you setting up camp here?"
Ludmilla smiled wryly. "It's a long story. I'll be much more comfortable in here, don't worry about it."
"Anyway, food's ready anytime you want to have a meal. Just go in and help yourself. Oh, and uh… I found something. Don't be angry," he pleaded as he handed over the bag.
Ludmilla gasped in delight. "My bag!" She clutched the precious worn leather bag to her chest. "Thank you so much! Where did you find it?"
"It was on the floor in the storage compartment. You were distracted by the droid."
"Why did you think I would be angry?"
Atton ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Well, I, uh…"
While he fumbled for the words, she opened the bag, curious to know why it was so heavy. "Why does my bag smell like candy?" She opened the first box, and pulled out a foil wrapped chocolate. "Where did these come from? And what did you do with my cigarettes?" she asked suspiciously.
"I got carried away," he said lamely. "And… look, they're gone. Just eat some candy instead, and when you run out, I'll make more. Just… no cigarettes, okay?"
She stared at him.
"Just try one."
"You could have asked me first."
"I was going to, but… it was an accident, okay?" Atton didn't think it was worth the effort of blaming the old woman for the loss of thousands of credits worth of contraband cigarettes. "I'm really sorry. You've gone without them this long," he said hopefully.
Ludmilla looked back at her bag. Everything else was there, the case, the lighter, the battered old datapads. Only the boxes were different, but he had apparently replaced each carton with a box of candy. Curiously, she opened another box, and found caramels instead of chocolates. "They're all different!" she exclaimed. "You made all of these?"
Atton nodded. "You really should try them."
Ludmilla sat down on the floor. "My mother made this bag," she said suddenly. "It was the only thing they let me keep when the Jedi took me away. I had to pretend it wasn't special so they wouldn't take it away." She reached into the bag and pulled out the silver cigarette case. "And Revan gave this to me. On Telos. We were out drinking before a battle. I don't even remember which one. Just that she gave me the case, and Malak gave me the lighter. I can't even imagine how long it took them to find these. They must have hunted in every antique stall in the whole sector. They were my friends, and we were saving the galaxy." She looked up at Atton, and saw that he was listening. "We weren't evil. We knew the Mandalorians couldn't be stopped with words. We knew that we were going against the will of the Council. But we had to!
"If they had given us anything, one word, anything that would have shown that they had a plan of their own, we would have stopped. But they never did. Not once. All they did was blame us for our defiance, even though we had saved the Republic.
"And now, even that is gone." Her head fell, and she slumped against the wall.
A hundred things fluttered through Atton's mind in response to her words, and he grabbed a thought at random. "Do you know you light up the room when you smile?" He saw her hold back a laugh, and a small tear escaped her eyes. "It's like a beacon. If the power ever fails on the ship, I'll just tell a joke so everyone can find their way to you." Atton turned and left her alone in the cargo hold, a tiny, pleased smile shining brightly on her lips.