.hack//G.U. - Jester Whore

It took some convincing. The security standards and procedures of administrator software were thoroughly documented in company papers, outlined with painstaking detail to ensure no hackers could break into the system and cause havoc. Yet with a little persuasion, Master Yata agreed to her plan.

"Maybe I'm not so different from my PC after all," Reiko mused.

She shook that notion from her head. She set her coffee mug on her desk and closed her bedroom blinds. It was time. Wednesday morning, the clock ticking seconds away toward her official work day. Settling into her computer chair, she entered her official user name and password, casting a casual glance back at the mess she made of her bed last night. The drying dampness in her panties and large stain on her bedsheets confirmed vague impressions from her restless sleep, dreams filled with the same smutty content she acted out in The World. A simple sign-in chime brought her attention back to the screen. Two new E-mails: one from Asta, another from Master Yata. She opened them in order.


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Sender: Asta
Subject: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!


What did you do to my PC you nympho freak?! Nobody's going to believe I'm a girl when they see I have a huge bulge in my pants. You better fix my PC or you'll be sorry.

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Reiko smirked. Even if she could, the system restricted her access to PC modification tools. She confirmed this much when she went to study Asta's profile and found all fields locked. Closing Asta's E-mail, Reiko moved on to Master Yata.


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Sender: Yata
Subject: AIDA Outbreak


We received reports across The World of a sudden surge in AIDA activity. The damage AIDA could cause today if left unchecked is incalculable. I already sent everyone else to take care of any AIDA lurking in fields and dungeons. I need you to head to Eternal City Mac Anu. This version of AIDA is very elusive and keeps itself hidden. Since AIDA are primarily interested in humans, the appearance and behavior of your PC should stand out among other PCs and draw it into your range. I'm counting on you Pi.

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"Great. Master Yata thinks I'm as good as a hundred-yen hooker." She rubbed her forehead. "No, Master Yata isn't like that. He's just playing to my PC's new strengths. Get it together Reiko."

Adjusting her face-mounted display over her eyes, she entered The World.

-------------------------

She stepped into the warm sunset. Water sparkled around the Dome. The nearby green portal spun its metal rings.

"It should be a simple task. Nobody else in The World looks like me. I should attract the attention of AIDA just with my b-"

Halfway across the bridge, Pi gaped. Clear into Mac Anu, the path crowded with players donning jingling jester hats of chosen colors. The Harvest Clerics stood around in groups, equipped with jester staves. She looked at the date using The World's in-game clock and sighed. In her PC's current state, how could she forget such a major holiday event?

"I should start by scanning the area. I wonder if I can still use my Steam Bike to get around."

She pressed the keys for her Steam Bike. Her screen blacked out for a moment, and when her surroundings came back into view...

"What the?!" She craned her neck, straining to view past her bust. When pressing her chest flat failed, she opened the binding clasp of her bra and spread her mamms. Peering down her valley of cleavage, she took a few seconds to fully grasp her new ride. A pink and white ball, half the size of her body, cushioned underfoot. "I'm supposed to get around on this thing?"

She smacked her forehead... and her body pitched back. Her glasses slipped down her nose and the handle of her jester wand emerged, its head firmly wedged in her cleft. It hummed like a motor between her thighs. With her hand inches from the handle, her ball rolled, the shaft jerked from her reach.

"Whooooa!" She cried.

"Hey!"
"Oof!"
"What's the big idea?"

The PCs of each griping player blurred as she bumped into them. Weaving left and right across the bridge, she grabbed onto the wand as it and her ball shifted into a higher gear. Speeding down the narrow lane, her whole body quivered, a thin trail of her arousal following in her wake. She should have known better, yet when the prompt to sound her 'horn' appeared, she obeyed. Her free hand clutched around one of her breasts, bra undone against her sides.

"Hey! Look out!" HONK! HONK! Each squeeze sounded her unique horn, warning of her approach to unsuspecting players. Their frantic rush from her path preceded a line of laughter that brought the creep of her furious red blush down her neck. She wrestled against the tight clench of her cunt to her jester wand. It slowly slipped. One more tug and the rod came loose. "Get out of the waaaaaaaaay!"

She hurtled face-first from the ball as it disappeared behind her. The all too common honk of her mamms punctuated her dismount. She grumbled. "I've had better days..."

She pushed her body up when the sudden weight of another player knocked her flat. Pinned, her muscles gave out under the turbo speed swats to her ass cheeks. Her upraised bubble rump shifted and jiggled to absorb each daunting blow. Searing pain pulsed into her real world cheeks, enough to make her bound from her chair. Online and off, her pussy gushed. Pi cursed Tarvos and spoke to her mystery spanker.

"Stop that. I didn't give you permission." Her nails dug into the stony floor.

"Hey, lighten up!"

"...Alkaid? OW." Pi winced.

Alkaid added, "It's April Fool's Day, all good fools are entitled to one free super duper Alkaid spankathon. With my expert training, we'll toughen up those glutes in time for the next tournament."

"I don't see how spanking me with those paddles you call daggers is meant to toughen up my...." Pi tensed through her entire caustic spiel, yet as her assailant sped her pace... "Ngghuuuuh."

"C'mon Pi, I thought you'd have a sense of humor about pranks on April Fool's Day when you're walking around Mac Anu dressed like a clown. Or maybe you were sent out here to get one, huh?"

"For your information young lady, I'm a jester, not a clown. Why don't you act like a good girl and-" She froze. Even the furious playful pelts to her ass dulled as she saw the black spots. AIDA. Her target hovered in the distance. With AIDA's approach, she shouted, "KEEP GOING!"

"Huh?! But weren't you just saying-"

"As a system administrator of The World, I order you to spank me with everything you've got."

Alkaid stuttered and blushed. "Y-you're creeping me out here. Are you trying to pull a prank back at me? That's not something to joke about."

"Do it!"

Alkaid's paddles pelted her ass. She grit her teeth. Her bells whipped to a frenzy.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhh!" They shouted together. As AIDA crept into range, Pi threw the Twin Blade off her back. The momentary worry of how she would deal with her mission passed as knowledge flowed into her mind. Propping herself up by her hands, she swung her inner thighs around her arms and spread her legs. Wincing to the occasional tap of her ass against the ground, her pussy glowed red with arousal. She aimed her groin.

"Oooooh DATA DRAIN!"

She shuddered as a beam shot from her cunt, piercing clear through AIDA. As it faded, Pi hopped to her feet.

"Damn I'm horny," Pi griped. She looked over the crowd assembled from her display. Shame at her remark burned on her cheeks hot as her throbbing rump. "Anyone seen any unusual activity out here?"

"Why is a clown out here?" someone asked.

Pi said, "I'm not a clown, I'm a-"

"...April FOOL'S Day. CC Corp is going all out this year, creating a clown to perform tricks in root towns."
"I think you mean TURN tricks. Have you seen her class name?"
"Clown Skank or something. Has to be a hacker, CC Corp would get sued for this kind of stunt."

"It's not 'Clown Skank', it's Jester Whore!" Wait... did she correct someone about her class? She caught one gloved hand idly rubbing her clit and pulled it back. Her attention shifted back to Alkaid. "Thanks for your help."

"My help? Have you looked at yourself lately? What happened to you? You used to be a badass, now you're walking around like a... a..."

"That's right, normal people can't see AIDA," Pi muttered to herself. She recalled Haseo's first encounter with Kaede and Zelkova, how the two Moon Tree leaders nearly became Lost Ones had she not shoved them aside. The taint of her AIDA infection still tingled in her womb, fresh from her memory of that day.

"Snap out of it!" Alkaid landed a perfect slap to Pi's cheek, paid back with a coat of cum oozing over her palm. Taken aback, she spread her digits and stared at the slimy film webbing between them. "Ewww, what is this stuff?"

"You don't want to know. Listen, I know how my actions must look to you, but I promise-"

Mid-sentence, a pair of high heel boots dropped against her crown. Pi grabbed for one offending foot. "Get off my-"

In as much time as it took her to say it, the mystery girl leapt off and spun midair to land in front of her. Pi's breasts swung under direction of the girl's dainty hands, paralyzed as her tits' fine features blurred out of focus with the girl's boob-smacking flurry. It took all her resolve to break from her daze and shrink back, wrapping her arms over her chest to calm her juggled jugs. Trailing the hint of greenish-blue she saw, Pi looked to the girl standing atop a nearby building.

"What was that all about?!" Pi demanded.

The girl stared. Her one eye cleaved past their PCs to the players behind them, her other hidden behind an eyepatch. Her two antenna strands of hair settled, weighed down by yellow spheres on each end. Her short silence broke seconds later.

"You're past your prime. Old women should know when to step down and let new blood take over."

"Hey, that's no way to talk to your elders!" Alkaid shouted.

"And you, Alkaid, must learn to keep your guard up." The girl raised a certain black top aloft, waving it in view of the former Demon Palace Emperor.

Alkaid took one look at her exposed chest, blanched, and dropped her blades to cover her small red nipples. "H-Hey! Give that back!"

"Who are you?" Pi asked.

The girl twirled her new prize top. "My name is Klarinette. Your next stop is the Alchemy District." With those words, she jumped clear over the rooftops.

Alkaid's tone trembled frantic as she spoke to Pi. "Don't just stand there! Invite me to your party."

A few clicks formed her group with the redhead.


To Be Continued...

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Author's Note: I realized shortly after finishing my prior chapter of Jester Whore that April Fool's Day was coming up. I normally wouldn't release a new chapter so soon and in a state like this, but I wanted SOMETHING up for April Fool's Day like how I had the 'Masochysterical' chapter of my Godhand fic for last year. Part of part two is already done but this felt like the most appropriate cut-off point. If I can pull it off, I'll try to get all of part two done by the end of the day; if I can't then it might be a while longer. I might also consider turning it into a three-parter and uploading part two sooner if enough people want that.