Darkness

AN: Again, I do not own any star wars stuff. Nor do I make any money on this.


“You wanted to see me, Kreia?” Adriana dryly asked the old Jedi.


“All that needs to be done is to confront the three remaining Jedi Master’s on Dantooine, correct?”


“We’re on our way there now.”


“Good. And from there? After you find your answers, where do you plan to go?”


Kreia barely even lifted her head as she sat on the floor talking with the Exile whom she was training.


“I don’t know. I guess that depends on the Force. Everywhere else we have been guided by it, and I don’t think this will be any different.”


“Hmph… Do not rely so heavily on such a fragile thing, Exile. The Force can be a fickle master, at best. You have lived years without its call; do not be so quick to abandon your instincts.”


“My instincts, the Force… They seem the same to me.”


“You think so, do you? Foolish child.” Kreia spat, he head shaking slightly in argument.


Before Adriana could reply, Visas approached them from down the corridor.


“Master, may I speak with you?” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke, her demeanour shy and hesitant.


“Go with the blind one. I need to rest before we land.” Kreia said dismissively.


Adriana looked from one to the other, the shook her head and sighed. Her eyes then returned to the Miraluka.


“Let’s go to my room.” Adriana replied to her, motioning with her arm to the door leading to the corridor. Visas bowed slightly then followed Adriana to her quarters.


When inside, Adriana closed the door and walked over to a pair of chairs tucked away in a corner. When Visas remained standing by the door, Adriana smiled at her.


“You know, you can sit, Visas.” Visas bowed again, then hurried over to the unoccupied chair, and sat down.


“Thank you, Master. I wished to speak to you about a… delicate matter.” Visas shyly began.


“What is it?”


“Among my people, there are… or really were… no limitations to personal relationships between two beings. Because of our close connection to the Force, we saw any relationship that was not hurtful to someone as a wondrous thing. A friend of mine when I was a child had grown up with two female parents. Only one was biological, but that never mattered. They were happy. However, I know that this is not always the case with humans within the Republic.”


“Well, there are same-sex couples in the Galaxy, Visas. In some of the more… mentally liberated worlds, marriage between same-sex partners is even legal. I’m not sure about other species, but some of the Republic soldiers serving under me during the wars had a same-sex partner. Why do you ask?”


Visas lowered her head and folded her hands in her lap, going silent. If her face had been uncovered, Adriana would have seen the red tinge that came to her cheeks.


“Visas?” Adriana asked after several minutes when she didn’t reply.


“I did not mean to, but I overheard you and the Zabrak male the other night.” Visas shyly whispered in response.


Adriana’s face went bright red when she heard this, her hand coming up instinctively to her face to hide her embarrassment.


“Uhh… Y-you h-h-heard us…?”


“Please do not be angry with me, Master. I was near the alien when he heard you calling him. I’m afraid that my curiosity proved too much for me.”


Adriana didn’t know what to say to her, shock and embarrassment filling her mind and making any rational thought impossible. All she could think about was if any else heard her and Bao-Dur.


At that moment, Visas shot off her chair and down to the ground, kneeling with her head beside Adriana’s legs.


“Please forgive me, Master! I couldn’t help myself. It is just, I have dreamed of sharing something like that with you ever since the moment when you first bested me in combat. I… I am weak Master!” She pleaded, her head still bowed against Adriana’s leg.


Adriana didn’t know what else to do, so she gently grabbed Visas by the shoulders and raised her up to feet, standing with her. Still, Visas kept her head bowed, unwilling it seemed to ‘look’ at her.


“Visas, what do you mean? You… you dreamed of me?”


“Yes, Master. I know that you have made your choice in bedding the Zabrak male. However, I could no longer keep this to myself. I needed to tell you. Perhaps so I could hear your rejection in person, instead of only imagining it. Do not be worried, however, Master. I will not let this interfere with my duties to you or the others on this ship.”


“Visas…”


Adriana didn’t know what to say. What could she say? What would Bao-Dur say? Was it normal to be attracted to two different people at the same time? Adriana went silent as she went over her options in her mind as quickly as she could.


Everything she had heard about love was that it was between two people – no matter the genders of the people involved. Sure, other species had multiple partners, but could she? However, she didn’t know how either of them would react.


There was no denying that she was attracted to Visas. If she really thought about it, Adriana had to admit to being attracted to almost everyone on the ship. But that was just because of the close quarters that they travelled in, wasn’t it?


Except for the droids – and Kreia, of course – Adriana had at one point fantasized about everyone on the ship, including even the armour clad Mandalor. What does that say about her? Was love regulated to only a single person? Or could someone possibly have feelings for more than one person at the same time?

Do not be so quick to abandon your instincts.

That’s what Kreia had told her only a few moments ago. ‘Fuck it!’ Adriana thought as she lowered her face to Visas and placed a tentative kiss on her lips.


The response from Visas was almost immediate. Her hands that were hanging down at her sides raised and slipped around Adriana’s neck, pulling her closer. Lightly, Adriana’s tongue brushed against Visas lips, asking for entry.


Visas moaned when her lips parted and Adriana’s tongue darted inside her mouth, exploring and tasting every corner.


Adriana cupped Visas face with her hands as she kissed deeper, enjoying the feel of the smaller body pressed against her.


“Master… What… What are you doing? What of the Zabrak?” Visas asked quietly, breaking off the strong kiss.


“Following my instincts. I care for Bao-Dur, I do. And for some reason I have feelings for you, too. But if you have a problem with me being with both him and you, you can tell me and I’ll stop.”


Adriana held her breath, waiting for the smaller woman to disagree. Unable to see her eyes, Adriana didn’t know how Visas would react to what she said, but she didn’t remove her hands from cradling Visas face. Maybe it was too much to ask for?


“It does not matter to me, Master. My only wish is to serve you. However, it is not I that you should be concerned with. Men are often not as forgiving as women are.”


Adriana paused and looked down at her, unsure herself how Bao-Dur would react to her having feelings for more than one person. Was this what love was? Was this love, or just lust from her many years of denying herself?


Visas pulled her hands from around Adriana’s neck and clasped her hands. Bringing each palm to her lips in turn, she placed a soft kiss on them before continuing.


“The life of a Jedi is not always kind, Master. However, my life will forever be yours even if you wish to be only with the Zabrak male. I do not believe that love can be dictated by will, though. Even for Jedi such as us. The Dark Side of the Force does not hold exclusive property over love, Master. That is one thing that I have learned since meeting you. Instead, perhaps love is so much a part of the Force that we cannot help but feel love for more than one life, as each life is apart of the Force.”


“Visas, I - …”


“Do not answer, Master. You now know how my heart feels. Only you can tell what your heart feels and wants.” Visas replied in a soft tone before pulling away from Adriana’s grasp and taking a few steps towards the door. Before she left she turned around to face Adriana once more. “The Zabrak needs to know your heart, as well, Master. And whatever path your heart leads you to, I will forever stand by you. As a friend and ally… or otherwise.”


Adriana watched with teary eyes and Visas bowed again before leaving her alone in the room. She knew she was right, of course. But how was she supposed to tell Bao-Dur? And what of the others on the ship? Visas wasn’t the only one besides Bao-Dur that she had thought of since this journey had begun.


Adriana laughed softly in defeated tone as she fell back down to the chair. Growing up in the academy didn’t exactly prepare her for situations like these. In fact, they always instructed to avoid situations like these.


Visas, Bao-Dur, Atton, Mira, Brianna, Mandalor.


Somehow, Adriana didn’t think that having feelings for so many different people at the same time was normal. But they all aroused certain feelings within her.


Perhaps love is so much a part of the Force that we cannot help but feel love for more than one life, as each life is apart of the Force.

‘Was this love?’ Adriana thought was a sigh.


Adriana rested her elbows on her knees and hung her head down, half laughing and half crying at the thoughts that filled her mind.


However, she didn’t have time to think about it as a knock on her door suddenly sounded within the room.


AN: I just wanted to make one thing clear... The Exile is not a slut or anything...at least right now... ;-) But this is touching on a point that I have discussed with my husband a lot. Who says love ONLY has to be with one person? For a person who grew up without being allowed to learn about love, she wouldn't have any clue about any borders that 'love' would be restricted to. And who says you have to restrict love in the first place?? Anyway, just wanted to say that. Chapter 5... Here we come!