Tattered Soul

Tattered Soul

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters associated with Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts II. I'm merely borrowing them.

Chapter 4

The next several weeks passed in quick succession. The days were mixed; some days Zexion was just fine and other days he was so depressed he couldn't even get out of bed. Axel and Demyx remained faithfully by his side and helped him through his rough days. It made him even more depressed; he felt like he didn't deserve such good friends. Especially Demyx. The blond was incredibly kind to him even though Zexion was sure that he was hurt by Zexion's sleeping with Marluxia. He wanted to tell him that it was a mistake and nothing more, but he couldn't bring himself to for some reason. He started convincing himself that it was for the best—a sweet kind boy like Demyx didn't need to be corrupted by Zexion. He didn't deserve it. He deserved a lot better than what Zexion could give him.

As the weeks turned into months, Zexion found himself feeling more and more run down. He was tired all the time, not to mention nauseous. He thought he simply had the flu. When the symptoms persisted, he forced himself to go to the doctor. He didn't hate going to the doctor, he just found it annoying. He sat in the waiting room patiently, trying to keep himself calm. It wouldn't do to panic. He needed to remain level-headed. He took several deep breaths to calm himself down. The only thing he really hated about the doctor was all the needles. He couldn't stand needles. None of the other Organization members knew of his fear and he planned to keep it that way. They already saw him as weak. At the moment, he was the youngest member of the Organization and also the weakest. The truth was that he didn't like to fight. He just wasn't a fighter, not like the other Organization members. The Superior was giving him less missions these days because of this.
The Superior...

He was the only one who truly knew where Zexion was. Zexion had purposefully not told anyone else that he was going to the doctor; he didn't want them to think he was even weaker than they already supposed. The Superior was the only one who knew what was going on. Zexion had told him everything. He couldn't lie to the Superior. Xemnas had promised that he wouldn't tell anyone else where he was as long as it wasn't life-threatening and as long as Zexion directly reported back to him when he returned from the doctor. Zexion agreed.

Finally, his name was called and he rose. All members saw the same doctor, someone outside the Organization, someone they trusted. Someone who wouldn't spill the deepest darkest secrets of the Organization. Zexion followed the nurse down the hallways until they stopped outside one of the examination rooms. She showed him in and he sat in a chair in the corner. The nurse took his blood pressure, temperature, and pulse and made notes on a clipboard.

“The doctor will be in to see you shortly,” she said. She left.

Not ten minutes later, the doctor came in, an older bald man with a cheerful smile.

“Hello Zexion. What can I do for you today?” he greeted Zexion.

“Well, I...I seem to be ill. At first I thought it was the flu because I was tired all the time and nauseous. But the symptoms haven't gone away.”
“How long have you been feeling like this?” the doctor questioned, taking notes.

“A couple months,” Zexion answered.

“Have you thrown up at all?”

“Yes.”

“How often?”

“Almost daily.”

The doctor hummed softly.

“You don't think...doctor do you think I'm...” Zexion lowered his voice to a whisper. “...pregnant?”

The doctor looked at him seriously. “I don't know. It's possible isn't it?”

“I never thought Vexen's little 'project' ever succeeded, but I guess it's possible.”
“Did you recently have sexual intercourse with another man?” the doctor asked. “I need you to be truthful.”
“Yes.” Zexion nodded.

“How long ago was this?”

“A couple months ago.”

“I'm guessing you didn't use protection?”
Zexion shook his head. “It never even occurred to either of us. We weren't exactly in the right state of mind at the time.”

“I see. Well, if you'd like, I can do a test to see if you are...pregnant. Would you be okay with that?”

Zexion silently nodded. He was silent the entire time the doctor did the tests. He didn't even ask what the doctor was doing. He didn't care. Finally, the doctor sat down across from Zexion. Zexion knew the news from the doctor's face.

“Zexion,” the doctor said softly. Zexion took in several deep breaths. “You...”
“No!” Zexion gasped. “Don't say it. Please.”
“Zexion...”

“I can't be. I can't be.” Zexion collapsed on the ground.

“Zexion!” The doctor's tone was sharp.

He knelt down next to the dark-haired teen and made sure he was okay. He was fine besides the fact that he was crying. Zexion hated crying. It always made his chest hurt. However, there were no stopping the tears. The doctor gently rubbed his back, hoping to help him stop crying. There was a short knock on the door.

“Come in,” the doctor said.

The door open and a nurse came in.

“Is everything all right in here, doctor?” she asked.

“Yes,” the doctor answered smoothly.

The nurse saw Zexion huddled on the floor but didn't ask questions. She left. The doctor helped Zexion to his feet and got him to sit down in the chair again.

“Are you okay?” he asked, handing Zexion a tissue. When Zexion didn't answer, the docotr chuckled to himself. “What a stupid question. Of course you're not okay. You just found out that you're pregnant and you're a guy. You're not supposed to be able to become pregnant but yet here you are. So uh...do you know what you want to do? I mean, are you planning on keeping the...child?”

Zexion nodded miserably. He knew that the Superior would want to know that Vexen's project had succeeded and he was sure that Vexen would be pleased that one of his experiments had finally worked. They would force him to keep the baby. He was sure of that. Even though he really didn't want it. It was horrible, he knew, because this was his child for crying out loud, but it would be a constant reminder of what he'd done.

“You know that it's going to be incredibly risky for you to bring this child into the world, don't you? This is a very high-risk pregnancy and frankly, I'm not entirely convinced that this pregnancy will last. Your body may reject the fetus and abort it on its own. Or, you may successfully carry this baby to the end of the term and die in childbirth. Your body was not built to have children, Zexion, and I'm not just talking about the fact that you're a male. Please, don't be stubborn. Think the decision thoroughly. That's all I ask.”

Zexion nodded. “I will doctor.” How easily the lie came. It was disgusting. He was disgusting. He stood up and shook the doctor's hand, keeping his face neutral. The doctor handed him some brochures on pregnancy.

“I know these are designed for a woman, but I think you can still learn from them,” he said.

Zexion took them and thanked the doctor. He left the office, making sure he was completely concealed by his Organization cloak as he made his way back to headquarters.

To be continued...

A/N: I'm sorry the chapters are so short. I'm going to work on making them longer.