The Soul and its Maker

Chapter 4

Jade’s POV

I suspected that Luke followed up on my advice about consulting Guy before the possibility of pursuing an intimate relationship with me, at least from his point of view. As was seen in the example of the Cheagles back at Ortion Cavern, replicas’ abilities including mental cognition tend to inferior to their originals. I noticed at the abandoned Fomicry Research we discovered there, discovering replica data about the people from the destroyed island of Hod, Asch worked the computer with a mental dexterity beyond anything Luke is capable of, confirming once again the inferiorities replicas face compared to their originals. They are similar personality wise, but for all I know, Luke’s “inferiority” to Asch may be his greatest strength, because he’s willing to see his faults and grow. I never imagined in my earlier days as a fomicry researcher, I’d witness the turmoil of a replica searching for his identity, because perfect isofons didn’t exist then, living long enough to recognize their sense of self as cognizant beings.

I only hoped Luke wouldn’t hate me for his existence, having been born as a weapon. I’ll do everything I can to atone for my past in the creation of fomicry and its research into hyper-resonance leading to the destruction of Hod. Watching the people of Akzeriuth perish through Luke’s hyper-resonance was seeing the death of Hod again and the sins of my past repeated. Although Luke thinks his birth was a bad thing, I want him to know he has a purpose in living. Perhaps through helping him find it, I can find my purpose too.

It all started with loosing Professor Nebilim I dearly loved. A mentor like a mother, she became my light and salvation. If I could use the Seventh Fonon like her, she might love me with all her heart like my real mother. That’s why I experimented with the Seventh Fonon when her house caught on fire, a burning timber landed on her opening a wound, with the loss of blood causing her death. Dist and I took her to the edge of town, I used my fonic artes revive her only to result in the creation of a monster, which escaped on a rampage taking many lives. I saw my old violent self in the malevolent Nebilim replica when our eyes locked a moment before her disappearance, when I used to go out killing monsters for amusement with my artes.

Ever since I discovered I could use fonic artes with ease skilled adults couldn’t master, I enjoyed testing them out on the beasts outside Keterburg. I found it twisted form of research although it was unethical killing other creatures. Professor Nibilim helped me to stop that realizing life was precious, even if I didn’t understand it, so when she died I felt the value of life with all my heart for a moment. To tell Dist that no replica would ever replace her was just too painful. After the destruction of Hod I ceased fomicry research telling Dist how I really felt. He just couldn’t let her go, with his grief eventually driving him to the brink of insanity into a form of mental instability from which he never recovered. When Nebilim died it was simply too painful to reach out and love again. Driven into numbness I turned to researching forbidden texts, applying Fonic Sight to the fon slots in my eyes to strengthen my artes, wearing fontech glasses from that point to regulate them.

“Look what I did, Nephry, amazing, isn’t it?” I remarked to my sister.

“Nii-chan, what have you done? Your eyes are red, they scare me,” she cried.

“Please, let me explain,” I begged her.

She thought I was abnormal already. I tried to regain her trust by creating a copy her favorite doll through fomicry when it broke, but she still thought of me as strange. I supposed we grew apart. When the Curtiss military family heard of my accomplishments and adopted me, I bade goodbye to the charred rubble of Professor Nebilim’s house, the places I played as a child, all that represented the old me before becoming who I am now.

My heart’s long been dead since Nebilim died so I can’t understand the difference between life and death, even if it was once in my nature to begin with. That’s why I told Luke to value that difference in himself when I said, You’re not a coward, just in pain.

I wonder if it’s something that can ever be regained. That understanding Luke embodies I hope to someday gain for myself. That’s probably why Luke came into my life, to awaken it at the same time he sought to be recognized as a human being and not just a replica. Ever since he found out he’s a replica he asked me, “Why was I born? Why do I exist? What is my purpose?” Those are the questions he asked me as the father of fomicry, I struggled at a loss to answer.

You can imagine the difficulty I faced when we finally spoke at Keterburg. It was after we escaped from Daath having rescued Ion and Natalia from Oracle Headquarters. Mohs had King Ingolbert so we had no choice but to seek Emperor Peony’s help in averting this war, and there was still the possibility of St. Binah collapsing as Van is trying to destroy the Outer land an its inhabitants. Just when things couldn’t get worse, while we were heading to Grand Chokma to meet Peony, a defense mine by Rotelro Bridge damaged the Tartarus’s engines, forcing us to dock at the nearest port outside Keterberg.

If it was any other port beside Keterberg Bay I wouldn’t of minded. Luke seeing my hometown and even my sister sparked curiosity, making the boy pry even deeper into my past and affairs. When the Malkuth soldier there interrogated us, I told him we would report to the governor of Keterberg, my sister instead. I didn’t think at the time our trip to Keterberg would drive Luke and I closer.

“So you were born here, Jade? This is the first time I’ve seen snow, how cool is that?” exclaimed Luke, running off into port as soon as we landed. “Let’s go see the governor and get the Tartarus repaired!”

When everyone else accompanied Luke ahead, Guy remained by the dock, turning to me solemnly in the falling snow. “Colonel, there’s something we need to discuss,” he began, glancing at Luke along Tear, Natalia and Anise heading out.

“Yes, if it’s about Luke, I understand,” I answered, loosing myself in the icy waters of the bay lapping up against the dock, rocking it to and fro, undulating outward to sea through this bitter snowy night.

“You know how naïve he still is when it comes to things of the world,” Guy observed, following the cold frothy waters dance in and out unbroken. “It was partly Natalia’s fault, but mostly mine he turned out the way we did. We never scolded him, made realize his faults. When I came out of the cave at Aramis Spring, I saw you scold him, and I want to…thank you.”

“…It wasn’t my intention,” I sighed, glancing down at Guy, taking in his shocked and hurt reaction at my tone in the feelings sown over his face. “If you were eavesdropping when we were outside the cave, then I must assume you witnessed the intimate interactions between Luke and I. Is that so?”

“I didn’t mean to, Colonel, I’m sorry,” Guy apologized, head sinking in shame. “But I thought it’d be a good experience for Luke…” He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat when our eyes met, his voice growing soft and strained. “I remember when all of us met, he reacted to you more than anyone we were with, got mad when you joked about him and Tear being lovers, cause you were the one then he really liked, even if he was too ignorant to know then.”

“Hmm, I didn’t notice then,” I chuckled, a sly smile creeping over my lips, casting a playful glance at Guy just to irritate him more. “I thought perhaps such an intimate relationship developed between the two of you over this course of time. That is why you did…shall I say, spend some ‘special time’ with Luke by the Fourth Monument Hill outside Daath?”

“You sneaky bastard! Don’t tell me you were—” Guy froze with shock, his expression priceless, I wish I had a camera.

“What are you talking about, Guy?” I teased, innocently shrugging. “As an officer I am a gentleman, and you know gentleman would never do such things. And you take me seriously? Of course, I didn’t do that. I told Luke it would be best to ask you about those…things he didn’t understand. If you speak of my relationship to Luke with anyone, even Mieu, I fear I’ll loose any respect I’ve gained.”

“I think they would accept…but I understand,” he acknowledged solemnly, nodding.

The bond of love shared between Luke and Guy reminded me exactly of the one that joined Professor Nebilim and I, seeing the past come painfully alive reflected in the mirror of their love. Perhaps even though I’ve been severed from my true feelings all those years, somewhere deep inside one of the many mental dams I constructed around my emotions broke, showing through in the depths of my blood red eyes my sister called frightening.

“Are you thinking?” Guy inquired, noting the silence.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Shall we go?” I proposed, cocking my head with a smile, the soft one I always use to mask my true intentions.

We rejoined the others trekking silently, through a dark snowy night with only the stars to guide us until we reached Keterburg by foot, a three-hour hike in such inclement weather typical most of the year round. When we stopped by the governor’s residence in Keterburg, my sister flew at me from behind her desk crying, “Jade, big brother, you’re alive, I thought you died! How I missed you?”

“Yes, Nephry, it’s been a while, not since your wedding,” I greeted her coolly in her office.

Her brown eyes darted out from behind her cat’s eye glasses at Luke locked on him. He’s the replica I heard about, the one that can help my brother, she thought and that’s when trouble began.

After reserving a room for us at the inn while the Tartarus’s repairs were underway, she pulled Luke aside whispering, “Come by later when you’re alone, okay?”

“What is it, Nephry?” I asked when Luke left, any of my warmth melting away.

“N…nothing, really, it’s nothing, okay? Go join Luke and the others at the inn,” she insisted, turning away toward her desk nervously.

“As your older brother, you know I’ve always been aware when you’re lying and when you’re not…” I stood behind her sensing her tremble under my gaze.

At last she faced me her features expressing pain. “Big brother, you haven’t been the same since Professor Nebilim died and you turned your eyes that scary color. Instead of killing monsters for fun like you did before you met her, you tortured Kimlascan soldiers captured during the Hod War against Malkuth for information. Going so far as to experiment on the dead bodies of the slain earned you the name of Necromancer. Please, Nii-chan, stop this and become the Jade I used to know, played with in the snow, who was normal before he invented fomicry.” She raised her hands clasping them as if in prayer, but really imploring.

“Dear little sister, that was over 26 years ago before I was 9. We are adults now. Why do you still think of me as abnormal even after all those years?” I asked, pacing in front of her. “That replica Luke is another’s creation, not mine, so I see no reason for you to discuss my past with him.”

“But Jade,” she protested, grabbing me. “Don’t you still want to revive Professor Nebilim?”

“I ceased to think on that long ago. Don’t worry, dear, goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.” I hugged her goodbye straying to the lobby of the governor’s residence just outside, where the receptionist’s desk and waiting room was. Just conveniently Luke happened to be there, having eavesdropped over our entire conversation. I thought he’d left with the others at the inn, thinking he could return once I came back meeting my sister alone.

“You know better than to listen in on people’s conversations, acting like a naughty boy. Now, go to the inn and rest,” I chided, stopping in front of him, crossing my arms.

“Stop telling me what to do,” he retorted glaring up, with a fist raised at my face.

Given my usual apathy, I could care less, but I was concerned about his mental state as a fighter in our cause stopping Van. Normally, I’d let a sadistic smile cross my features to taunt him. However, since Akzeriuth every night we stopped at an inn, I saw him tossing and turning in sleep, whimpering from his nightmares, “Akzeriuth, I…I killed them all,” then he’d burst out into tears so deep in pain we couldn’t wake him. I had enough sense not to push him, already on the verge of a breakdown. So I decided to be direct.

“From everything I have observed, Luke, I’d say the cause of your pain is what you perceive to be the loss of Van’s ‘love,’ if indeed he held any,” I said, regarding him coolly. Blunt but direct, perhaps cruel, I couldn’t help being honest in a heartrending situation as this.

His emerald eyes swam with emotion like whirlpools in their depths. His crimson bangs shivered over his smooth skin and delicate mouth fell open. Any words wanting to come out were choked back in his throat. In broken sorrowful tones, he cried at last, “I suppose your right.” He shook his head. “No, Jade you’re lying, Master Van wouldn’t truly be like that, even if he betrayed me. He was the one person who took me seriously before Akzeriuth, listened to me—” His eyes pleaded for answers.

“As his weapon for the sake of hyper-resonance to take many lives in his attempt to create a replica world?” I asked cynically in response eying him hard. “That means every human being alive in this world would die in the miasma when the Outer lands collapsed, all for the sake of Van’s vision. Do you believe such a man is truly sane or cares?”

He was starting to calm down, act more adult since we met at Aramis Spring, but his state of great pain overwhelmed any logic. “No, but just shut up, Jade,” he shouted, brimming with tears. “It hurts, what he said that I’m useless, a foolish replica.” He clutched his hand over his heart weeping. “What’s the point in living if one has no use, their a copy. You don’t understand what it means to live like that, having an existence with no purpose. Maybe that’s why I think about throwing away my life so easily if it means others can be saved.”

“Again, you talk about dying, because you don’t know what it means to live. The fact you are a replica doesn’t change, Luke, you have 7 years worth of memories that define you and more to come on our journey,” I assured, cupping his cheeks in my palms.

“Jade…” he cried, choked in feeling. “…I…I…” trailing off, lost in my hold on his cheeks. “I’m…I’m so confused. You’re right. The truth is I’m…scared, cause I don’t know who I am, what I’m supposed to do.”

An existential fear possessed him of not knowing the reason behind his own existence. I am responsible for his birth. That’s why I feel so deeply, even if I deny it. My apathy melts away at his struggle and pain, something I’ve never experienced with others. I said nothing burying his head in the warmth of my chest, locked in by my arms rocking him. I did what I could do planting a kiss on his forehead beneath his matted bangs soaked from his sweat and tears. The salty taste from his mingling fluids on my lips tasted sad.

I knew not what else to do, so I coaxed him, “Come to the mansion with me where His Majesty Peony used to live. I often spent time there in my youth, finding comfort.”

He nodded wordlessly, following my path.

A luxurious home nestled next to the governor’s house; it’d be abandoned for years tended to only by a maid for upkeep who visited weekly. I figured the intimacy might help him feel better, at the same time it’d relieve my dormant desires, pent up for 15 years since my last relationship with Peony. I can live years without feeling. However, the primitive urge for lovemaking, if it may politely be called that, is harder to control, one I find beckons every now and then.

“Is this His Majesty’s residence?” Luke murmured, half dazed, exhausted from his prior outburst scanning the mansion’s lavish interior: including its cream colored wall, ornate wall hangings of Peony’s ancestors, black lacquer dressers, polished oak tables, rugs adorning the floor, and a splendid fireplace in its main living room flanked by brass tongs to tend to a fire when in use.

“Indeed.” I used my fonic artes to start a small fire, its flicking flame casting fantastic shadows that played in the corners and crags of the homely room. I swept Luke up in my arms laying him on a velvet-cushioned couch in front, the one Peony and I spent hours on as youths, sharing stories of fomicry research, new artes we discovered, and my latest chapters in books on artes read by researchers worldwide.

“What’re doing, Jade?” Luke gasped, swallowed in by its cushions.

“Must you ask so many questions?” I sighed, raising a hand to my forehead in exasperation. “You’ve grown to be a friend, but your ignorance is really getting on my nerves…”

“Yeah, well you’re acting obnoxious too,” he grumbled, glaring up from the couch. “It was embarrassing asking Guy asking Guy to show me this…stuff.” A blush colored his face at that word.

A soft smile played over my lips as I bent down over his form.

“Wh…what’s so funny?” he snapped, tensing under my lips brushing his. “I know Guy, I trust him. I hardly know you, even though we’ve traveled this long. Is it true, you really killed monsters for fun when you were young like Nephry said? And those Kimlascan soldiers, when you interrogated them, what did you…”

I silenced him with a kiss stealing his lips, pinning his arms above his head, holding his supple body below mine with my weight. He breathed heavily, heaving under my frame, wrapping his arms around me in a needful embrace.

“Jade, when I said I loved you before, I meant it, really did. But now I’m a little…scared cause of those things I heard Nephry say.” He swallowed hard, hiding his face in my neck.

“Yes, Luke,” I replied, stroking his hair. “But in times of war, you must understand men commit violent acts they wouldn’t dream of in civilian life. I dislike discussing my past, because I’ve done things in the name of duty quite violent. But I want you to know though, Luke, you have no need to fear me. Is that clear?” I rolled onto my side, hugging him against the back of the couch.

He whimpered shyly, lifting his head up so we met eye to eye a hair’s breath apart. “I know, but its still strange, you acting nice…” he insisted, trembling.

“I suppose, but you hold a special…place,” I confessed, holding his hand over my heart.

“Does that mean you feel about me the same way I feel about you?” he whispered, grasping my hand over my heart. Great affection flowed in his voice, glowed in his eyes brightening his face. “Do you…love me?” he held his breath in fear.

I raised his hand from my heart up around my shoulder, wrapping my own arm around his waist. “Love…that’s a strong word,” I remarked mildly. “I do not think I can feel it given my nature, so it doesn’t hold your meaning if it meant anything to me, but I can say I’ve grown to like you…”

Luke’s eyelids fluttered half shut; firelight reflected dancing in their depths and his mouth stretched to a smile. “Well, that’s good enough for me,” he chuckled, having matured at this point in his development to accept others’ viewpoints that differed from his own. “Natalia used to read those stupid romance books back at the manor before this adventure began, where the guy and girl say that silly stuff, ‘I love you,’ before doing anything sexual so its all good, then one fights with the other when they find out the other didn’t mean it, dumb huh? I don’t know if I’m any smarter than the guys and girls in her books…”

“No one is perfect because we are human,” I assured him, winding my arm tighter around his waist so our bodies were pressed flush on our sides.

“Guy said that too. Man, I’m stupid, to think I can take weight of the world on my shoulders and handle it all like after Akzeriuth.” Luke’s smile turned sad as he clasped my hand over his cheek between our bodies. “Which reminds me, I wanted to give you this.” He sat up resting his legs over my body, reaching into his jacket. A soft white glow emanated from his hand off of the petals of a magical selenia that blossomed only in Yulia City, down in the depths of the Quilphoth.

Its silken petals glistened with dew that sparkled like diamonds, caressed between Luke’s fingers. My fonic sight detected in some dew droplets remnants of another fonic signature, water to be exact salty in composition, Luke’s tears no doubt once shed on the flower when he plucked it.

“Those selenias grow only in the Quilphoth. I see you cried at the same you picked it, by the remains of the fonons your tears left on its petals,” I observed, sitting up and swinging my legs out from under his body back towards the floor. “Tell me, Luke, what prompted you to cry?”

His eyes went wide, mouth fell open in surprise and he dropped the selenia on his lap.

I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose, to draw his attention to my eyes. “I did that with my fonic sight. By applying fonic artes to my eyes, I use their fon slots to gather three times the ordinary rate of fonons in my body to enhance my artes in combat. The glasses I wear are fontech, so my artes don’t go out of control hurting people and things. Unfortunately, my eyes turning red were a side effect of the arte I applied, allowing me to see fonons such as the tears you left behind. That’s how I know you cried, even if ordinary sight can’t see it.”

His face expressed shock at my abilities, as his hands strayed back towards the selenia on his lap clutching it in his fist. “That I existed only to hurt others, bring them pain like I had at Akzeriuth…” his choked words struggled out.

“You should know a replica has as much right to exist as its original,” I explained, lifting my hand to his cheek. “A perfect one like yourself may share the same isofonic signature with its original, even genetically identical like twins, but you are born experiencing your own memories that create who you are. Do you understand?”

A lumping forming in Luke’s throat, he nodded, holding my hand by his face.

“As a researcher, I respect Van’s innovations in fomicry using the Seventh fonon to create mentally stable replicas,” I said calmly, my voice laced underneath with a rare display of anger. “However, as a scientist with ethics, I disapprove of how he’s abused the replicas he’s made. That’s why I’m journeying with you to stop Van’s wrongs, taking back fomicry myself.”

“Thank you, Jade, that means a lot,” Luke spoke, collecting himself at last, assured by the tone in my voice. He hugged me hard back against the couch. “I know you don’t like teaching, but you’ve become my greatest teacher,” he admitted, sniffling.

I couldn’t help but smile softly, kissing the back of his hand.

“It’s been such a long day with the Tartarus breaking down, come here to repair its engines at port,” Luke yawning, returning my smile as I kissed him.

“Then go to sleep. Peony’s study is right there.” I released him, casting my visage towards the Emperor’s study behind us leading to another wing of the building.

He bade me goodnight with a longing in his eyes. I suppose comforting him has caused him to fall in love deeply with me beyond all question. Still, with my lack of emotion in general, I don’t know how I’ll handle this or how it’ll turn out. Only the sands of time can tell.

TBC

Some lime next, I hope^_^ Luke gets certain dreams, hehe. Pretty long chapter, thank you for your patience.