Secrets and Lies

(A/N: Sorry for the huge delay, this chapter really didn't want to be written but it's finally here. Many many thanks to all my reviewers, you guys are awesome and it's because of you that I finally buckled down and finished writing this chapter. There's only one more chapter after this and hopefully it won't take nearly as long as this one did. Anyway, hope you enjoy and sorry again for the delay.)


Secrets and Lies
Chapter Four
Of Darkness

The world seemed to come to a complete and total stop as soon as their eyes met across the room. The sound of Yuffie prattling on about something or other seemed to fade away, as did Cid’s grumbles about the ninja being too damn loud and it wasn’t hard for that alone to drown out the sound of Aerith’s gentle insistence that Yuffie calm down without everything fading into an odd background drone as the world narrowed down to the two men staring at each other.

“Were you limping just then Leon? Seriously, what did you do? It must be pretty bad for a tough guy like you to be limping.” And Yuffie’s hearty slap on the back jolted him out of the moment.

Leon blinked to clear his vision and gradually became aware of how the low hum of surrounding chatter had silenced, and everyone was staring at him. Never mind that Cloud had been ignoring everyone as much as Leon had himself, apparently it only mattered that Leon wasn’t saying anything.

“I had an accident.” Was all he said, and seemed happy to leave it at that. They needn’t know how he’d almost cut his hand open while he was making himself a sandwich after having been raped by the very man sat in their midst. Cloud was still dark, he could feel it, as though the blond was radiating darkness, and he wondered at why none of the others seemed to notice. He watched as, seemingly in slow motion, a smug smirk spread across the blond’s lips.

He was distracted from the sight Cloud presented by Yuffie again and that was when his secret began to unravel.

“Leon? What have you done to your wrists? They’ve been rubbed raw!” The ninja announced, drawing everyone’s attention to areas that were a sore and angry red. She grabbed one of his arms and held it up to see the affected area better, thus letting Aerith and Cid see the marks left by his own belt. “What did you do? How did you get marks like these on your wrists? They’re like rope burns almost.” She went on, and Aerith mumbled a small cure spell, watching as the area that had been aggravated by his struggles was healed until the redness had gone.

What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t admit to having had his belt securing his wrists while Cloud raped him and there was no way to explain such marks besides admitting to some overly rough sex and he wasn’t doing that or else he’d have to admit to a number of other things, including who he was with, how long they’d supposedly been together, and knowing Yuffie, who was on top, what toys they’d used and if she could tape the next encounter.

“It’s nothing, I did it while I was working.” He announced dismissively, and he knew as soon as he’d said it that he was only drawing yet more unwanted attention to it. That he wouldn’t tell them how it happened was suspicious enough, but the serious way it was said kept even Yuffie from making the assumption that it had happened during some kind of secret romantic (or not so romantic) liaison. Even Cid, who normally defended the brunet when his safety was called into question, seemed reluctant to speak up and just get the girls to leave him alone, and that could only mean that Cid was as concerned as everyone else.

Everyone bar Cloud, that was.

The blond swordsman was still sat in his chair, but the smug smirk had widened and he looked well pleased with the situation he’d brought upon the gunblader who had been careless enough to draw attention to himself even after he went into all that effort to heal himself after the attack and hide the bloodied clothes so as not to arouse the suspicion of the rest of the committee.

It was in that moment that Leon wondered if they’d ever be able to get the Cloud of old back. With the blond sat there, exuding darkness as he was, it was as though the dark-Cloud had taken the place of the Cloud they knew and loved, replaced him.

If that were the case, then what was to become of him? There would be only so many times that the Cloud of darkness could mingle with the committee before they too would start to notice that the blond wasn’t exactly acting like himself. So what would happen then? Would that be the line between them, the mark that separated them as enemies? Would they be forced to take a stand against the one they had called a friend for so long already, who they’d watch struggle with his darkness for such a long time? Had Cloud finally lost the fight against his darkness, succumbing to the shadow and becoming what he tried so hard to defeat?

A moment later and the answer was presented to him in the form of the swordsman coming to his aid.

“I saw it happen. There was some construction material that fell, trapping his wrists.” He explained as though such a thing had really happened. “They’re chafed all the way around because he was smart enough to try and twist them free.”

So there was some humanity in the blond yet. The smug smirk was gone from his lips and he no longer exuded that almost tangible aura of darkness.

What threw the gunblader completely was that Cloud had defended him at all. That he’d come up with a passable story that the others seemed to actually accept was secondary to the knowledge of the fact that the blond male shouldn’t have been able to see his wrists from where he was sat. Also, from what he’d been able to tell, Cloud had had no knowledge of what happened when the darkness seemed to take control. His confusion must have shown on his face because Cloud was looking at him with an expression of apology mixed with so much guilt it might have been painful for someone else to see.

Leon turned on his heel and left the house with a calm he didn’t feel.

-x-

Yuffie let out a noise that sounded much akin to a squawk of denial as the gunblader just walked out without another word. She wanted details no doubt, after all, Leon was rarely careless enough to allow himself to receive an injury at all, let alone while at work on restoration. Somehow he even managed to avoid those commonplace injuries such as smashed fingers and thumbs while using hammers, bruised butts and backs from falling off ladders and shredded shins obtained by knocking into carelessly strewn construction equipment.

Still, Cloud’s account was plausible and none argued against it, though with the brunet having walked out, most attention turned to the blond for an account of how the accident happened.

Talking to the others was the last thing he wanted to do when he [i]needed[/i] to catch up to Leon who was undoubtedly getting further and further away, literally and metaphorically, with each passing second.

He owed Leon one hell of an explanation and he knew that if he couldn’t catch up to the man right then, it was highly likely that he wouldn’t cross paths with the man again. He already knew that when Leon didn’t want to be found, he could make himself scarce better than anyone. And oddly enough, things still managed to get done.

He knew his time was short. He couldn’t delude himself into thinking that he had control for very long. The darkness inside him that usually manifested into Sephiroth seemed to have found a much better way to tether the blond to the darkness and that was to take him over, as though the darkness itself had some kind of sentience to it. Considering that it could gain corporeal form, from the simple shadows to the complexity of Xehanort’s heartless or Sephiroth, it clearly harboured some kind of consciousness or something, somehow. He wasn’t even going to pretend to understand the details and specifics of how darkness could gain form and instincts and the like.

All that mattered was that he had to tell Leon what was happening, apologise for what he’d done, before it was too late. He loved Leon, he knew that, but Leon wouldn’t be able to see that under the thick layer of darkness he knew to be there. He had to try though, he had to try to make the gunblader understand what had happened before the darkness engulfed him completely and he became as Sephiroth was. Darkness incarnate, a man twisted beyond recognition by the uncanny power of the shadow.

He wanted one more kiss from the man, one more that wasn’t tainted by the darkness. A simple kiss that would let the gunblader know that he had never intended for him to get hurt, that his intentions had been pure until the darkness claimed him.

That even a being of darkness could still love, should one so choose to.

It was a concept that both men would shy away from, scoff and dismiss it as a pointless, feminine notion that was a waste of their time under normal circumstances. Leon would insist that he had no time for such frivolous ideas and emotions to begin with. A city was built with devotion and the sweat of a man’s efforts, not with love and other such whimsical nonsense. Attraction was a different matter entirely and Cloud was almost certain that they were both attracted to each other.

Which was probably why his rape of the brunet must have been hurting him all the more. That was all the more reason to go after him, though what he’d say was anyone’s guess right then.

It was too soon to be tossing around the word ‘love’ and Leon most certainly wouldn’t believe him should he be told but it was all he had to cling to, to prolong that time he had as himself. That even when the darkness took him completely, because it was only a matter of time, he’d still be capable of loving the man even if they weren’t together, even if he couldn’t show it, even if Leon didn’t accept it, even if the gunblader didn’t want the love of the beast Cloud was to become.

So when he looked up at the girls who were looking at him with concern and asking him if he was alright, rather than reassure them, inform them that he was fine and that he’d simply gotten lost in his thoughts, he surged to his feet, making the young ninja stumble back in surprise and in moments the sound of the door slamming closed echoed through the house.

He got no further than that before he had to pause.

Where in the name of Kingdom Hearts, would the gunblader have hidden?

He wouldn’t have gone to his usual spots, since they were too obvious, unless that was what he’d wanted everyone to think and so gone there to hide in plain sight. No, that didn’t feel right. Leon would have gone to the last place that anyone would expect him to go, the only problem being that the blond male had no idea where that place might be. For all he knew, his logic was all wrong and the gunblader would have just gone for a walk around the block and he’d be back in the house within minutes while Cloud wasted time looking in the outer reaches of the growing city.

With a frustrated sigh, the blond swordsman picked a direction at random and struck off in search of the scarred male.

-x-

From atop the roof of the house Cloud had just emerged from, a pair of sharp grey eyes tracked the man’s movement.

He was crouched on the slanted roof, partially obscured by the chimney stack and had gained the perfect vantage point simply by climbing the ladder that was propped against the side of the house. It had been left over from when he had patched up a hole in the roof and had provided the perfect escape route. Cloud was too narrow minded. He’d never think to look up rather than ahead of him, which meant that unless the blond chanced a glance if he came back to the house, he was safe.

The only problem being that he wanted to confront the blond about what he knew and why he’d done what he had. He couldn’t have a confrontation with the man when said man was walking away and he was on a roof. At the same time, a confrontation was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. Every time that he and Cloud were alone together, he wound up with some implement or other shoved through one body part or other and after his most recent intimate encounter with the business end of his gunblade, he didn’t much want to ruin another set of clothes on top of endure the torture from a man he was inclined to think he was becoming enamoured with.

How he could be attracted to the man in the face of what had been done to him, he didn’t know. But then matters of the heart were always Sora’s forte. That didn’t solve the issue of whether or not to confront the blond swordsman though.

On one hand, it might resolve a good number of things but on the other, he might just be delivering himself to the bastard as though on a silver platter. Even though he knew he couldn’t hide forever, he could at least inconvenience the man before the inevitable clash occurred. Then again, if it was inevitable, he may as well seek Cloud out and be done with it one way or the other, no point in drawing it out. The sooner he allowed Cloud to have his way with him, the sooner he could get back to the house to recover, since surely the others would have vacated the house by then.

With an aggravated sigh, the gunblader dragged a gloved hand through his hair and began to make his way down the ladder.

It was at the Crystal Fissure that they finally crossed paths, Cloud on his way back from the Dark Depths and Leon on his way there to look for the blond.

As soon as their eyes met, there was undeniable tension in the air. Cloud didn’t know what to say, and Leon didn’t know what to expect. At least the younger male seemed to be in his right mind and not radiating darkness. For the time being, the man before him was the one it was safe to talk to.

Silence reigned as they stood opposite each other, eyes drinking in each other’s appearance as though it would determine the outcome of the exchange, both seeking answers to questions they weren’t quite sure how to ask.