Longing Snake

“So which one's your favourite?” one of the Raven Sword soldiers asked the others.



“Man, I dunno,” said another, “I liked Raging Raven, but I don't know now...”



“Crying Wolf for me,” said a third, “I'd be waxing that chassis all day! No cheap shit, either, orange scented streak-free professional car care stuff.”



“What? Dude! I'm talking about the women!” the first said, a mixture of surprise, shock and disgust in his voice.



“Yeah, dude, what the hell, you want to fuck a robot?” a fourth chimed in.



“Well, if it's Wolf...” the third considered, earning a cacophony of disapproving groans.



“That Screaming Mantis is a bit of alright though,” the fourth said, “She'd have to lose the puppets, though. I've seen what she does to lovers with them.”



“What about you, then?” the second turned back to the first. “Bitch like you'd probably want Longing Snake and her fuckin' man-arms!”



"Smartass," the first disregarded, staring into the sky, "I'd rather Laughing Octopus. Now SHE'S got a body to be proud of. And those eyes, have you ever seen her eyes?" He didn't hear a response, which he took as a no. "Damn, you could lose yourself in 'em. And that's not even starting on her fine ass..." he said. Still no response. He looked back down. "Guys?"



His three buddies were all staring gobsmacked at something behind him. A quiet, girly chuckle behind him said everything he needed to know. He turned around and saw Laughing Octopus in the flesh, carrying an unconscious Solid Snake coiled in one of her steel arms. Another darted to the PMC's face, stopping short. Octopus leaned forward.



"You're funny," she said huskily, caressing the petrified soldier's cheek, "I like you. I'd show you how much, but first I need to find my friend, with the man arms. Where is she?"



"S-She went through this way," one of the other PMC's said, thumbing behind him.



"Thank you," she said, a viciousness in her voice freezing them as she passed the checkpoint. The PMCs look at their stunned friend.



"Dude, you're in," one of them broke the silence. A few nervous chuckles escaped them, quickly escalating into laughter.



“Yes, that's it, laugh!” she cried back, adding a cruel snarl to every word, “Laugh all you want! Laugh while you can!” The PMCs didn't so much as whisper again before Octopus carried her load into the darkness of a nearby alley.



“ Alright, we're out of sight,” Snake lost his patience, “Put me down already.”



Octopus giggled, and placed Snake back on his feet. The alley was well concealed from the street, and the last lot of PMCs were two blocks away. Snake dusted himself off and glared at Octopus.



“What?” she said innocently, “We don't have time to waste, do we?”



Snake grumbled, knowing she was right. Every second they weren't in front of Big Mama was another second she could be ambushed by Longing Snake. “Just let me make my own way for now,” Snake said, not eager for another tentacle ride.



A sharp ringing in Snake's ear told him his Codec was ringing. He fingered his ear and answered.



“Yo Snake. Lookin' good today.”



“Drebin...” Snake growled.



“Relax, man, I'm just kidding. But seriously, that's some impressive stuff there, rescuing poor Scylla like that.”



“Scylla?”



“She's from a village in Scandinavia - little seaside hamlet known to all the locals as the Devil's Village. Place wasn't known for devils, though. It was known for octopus. See, this was one of the few places in Europe where they ate octopus customarily. Anyway, there's this cult of crazies who for some reason hate the village, with a passion. Then, when she was just a teenager, things get bad.



“These nut-cases get their hands on some weapons and attack the village. Overnight, her sleepy little fishing town becomes a war zone. The round up all the villagers and execute them one by one. Except for that girl. They had something else planned for her, something a whole lot worse than dying. They called her the Devil's Child, forced her to do the kind of thing you'd expect from one of Lucifer's own. After they made her torture her family and friends, they made her kill 'em. The whole time they were forcing her to laugh, howl like some sort of demon. Like she was enjoying it.



“What was she gonna do, say no? They'd kill her, too. So she let fear take control, and did exactly as they told her. She butchered the bodies of the ones she loved, and laughed while she did it. And as she bathed in their blood, it gradually turned from deep red to jet black. To her, it looked like the ink of an octopus. The experience scarred her deep. Ever since then, she hasn't stopped laughing. Only,” Drebin finished, “that ain't really laughter.”



“Laughing Octopus,” Snake concluded, looking over at her. It was hard to believe that someone as cheerful as she turned out to be had such a troubled past. Then again, he also knew people a lot worse off.



“That's right,” Drebin said. “Maybe these are the first genuine laughs she's had in years. All thanks to you, Snake.”



Snake grunted. There was far more at stake, he wasn't doing this for the lives of a handful of women...



“Hey, chin up,” Drebin encouraged, “I'm sure if you ask nicely enough, she'll let your techie have a look under that hood of hers. I'd imagine something like FaceCamo would be invaluable to you.”



“FaceCamo?”



“That skullcap hiding Scylla's pretty little face. It uses the same technology as your suit. Of course, she'd still have a use for that one, but I'm sure your man could whip up one for you. Either way, enough chit-chat,” Drebin signed off, “That city hides more than just ravens. Watch your back.”



The Codec went dead as Snake turned back to the beauty. “So where's this church you were talking about?”



“Not far now,” Octopus replied, a gentle smile showing through the balaclava as she led the way.



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Shortish update, written ages ago. Debating whether I should bother continuing, kinda over MGS4 for the moment.