Forgotten Tears

Over and over
I felt so small
But one day I'll be stronger
And you better watch out

Within Temptation - "Overcome"

Forgotten Tears

Part IV – "The monster you created"

The place he knew so well, for all those years had seemed the same. But the time had come. The time of changes. Now everything was different. Everything.


He hadn’t paid a visit for a long time, but he didn’t expect so many things would surprise him. First his brother. He saw him near the house, cutting the wood. He’d never seen him doing it before. The servants had always taken care of it. But Durer did it so skillfully, which he probably had some experience. Gerard stood in the distance, watching him. Durer wasn’t a kid anymore. He was already nearly as tall as Gerard. He had no shirt so he could see every inch of his nicely shaped muscle. His body also has more tanned probably because of work. The droplets of sweat glistened on his skin.

“Hey, bro!” Gerard finally greeted him. They exchanged a quick hug. “Wow. You cut all these wood by yourself? Servants didn’t help you?”

“All the servants left. We couldn’t pay him anymore.” Said Durer, totally expressionless.

“Oh . . . here, I bought you your favorite croissants.” Gerard gave his brother a package. To his surprise Durer munched everything immediately. He behaved like a person who didn’t have a proper meal for many days, but Gerard didn’t comment. He only blinked. “Where’s father?”

“I don’t know. He’s rarely at home now-days. I think he’s looking for a way to find some money.”

“Lets get inside, shall we?”


The house didn’t change a lot from the outside, but inside it looked totally different. There were no servants, no valuable things. It seemed so empty. Probably all valuable stuff had been sold.

“So how are your studies?” Asked Durer putting a shirt on.

“I dropped my studies.”

This time Durer was surprised.

“Why?” He asked with a sad voice.

“I had no money to continue. But don’t worry. I have a decent job.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m a guard in a prison. Maybe it’s not a job of my dreams, but it helped me survive. Recently they’ve been looking for people to do this job so I took the chance.”

“Wait! Does it mean that I also could get a job like that?” Durer got very excited.

“Well, technically yes, but . . . ”

“Please, take me with you! We could work together and I would be free at last!”

“Don’t take me wrong, but I think it’s not a good job for you. Sometimes we’re ordered to torture someone. And I don’t think you could actually hurt anyone.”
Hearing this Durer started to laugh uncontrollably. Gerard looked confused.

“You really think so?” Now Durer became serious. “Maybe I shouldn’t have destroyed this letter.”

“What letter?”

Durer told his brother everything. He described in every detail what he did, why he did that, and what he felt that time. Gerard listened, shocked, but Durer seemed perfectly calm.

“I regretted it for a long time, but now . . . I don’t care. I’ve seen so much, and experienced so much, that I don’t give a damn.”

Gerard didn’t look angry, but rather sad. He’d already started blaming his father for everything. He was the source of all evil.


He agreed. He would do everything to make his brother happy. If he really wanted to work with him, he couldn’t refuse. Durer was already eighteen now, so old enough to start his own life. Even his father couldn’t do anything with that. The city welcomed them. However, it didn’t look like a city he used to know.

“Why are there so many people?” Asked Durer, pointing at the crowd, which they were passing by in a carriage.

“Probably there’s an execution.” Replied Gerard, totally unmoved. “It’s been happening often recently. You’ll get used to it.”

They reached their destination. The flat, they entered, looked small, but clean.

“You can stay with me until you get your own flat.” Said the older male.

“Thank you.”

“Do you have any money?”

“Yes, I collected some, hoping I would leave home.”

“That’s good. I have a proposition. Lets have some fun tonight. You probably need to relax and forget about all the problems.”

“Sounds good to me.”

So when the evening came the party started. They went to a few bars, had something to drink and to eat, and chatted like in the old days, when they still had lived together. But it was only the beginning. When they felt more energetic, they had some fun with the prostitutes. Gerard normally didn’t do that, but this time it was supposed to be a special night. However, Durer didn’t seem very pleased with the whores.

“Did you enjoy it?” Asked Gerard.

“Not much. Those girls were total sluts.”

“Well, it’s kinda obvious.”

“They would do everything if you paid them. It’s not fun. The real fun is to break someone’s innocent.” Durer licked his lips, and Gerard looked at him perplexed. “Just joking.” The younger male burst in laughter, looking cheerful. But his brother wasn’t entirely sure if it was really a joke. Still, he decided to ignore it.

They went to another bar and had some wine. Because Gerard noticed a few of his friends, he apologized to his brother, and left him for a while, so he could talk with his pals. He wanted his brother to accompany him, but Durer said he will wait. So Gerard chatted to his friends and became confused when he saw Durer talking with a boy who was handing wine to clients. The boy couldn’t be older then fifteen. Durer was saying something, but Gerard couldn’t hear what. The boy nodded and he went with Durer upstairs. Gerard felt really puzzled now. However, he could only wait. After some time he saw a boy, running downstairs, with tears in his eyes. No one paid attention to him, and he disappeared in the crowd. Then Gerard saw Durer going downstairs, smoking a cigarette, and looking smug. Gerard had bad feelings about it.

“What the hell did you do to that boy?” He approached his brother.

“Had fun.” Durer said in a manner if it was something obvious and totally normal.

Gerard stared at him with disbelief, he didn’t actually know what to say. So he said nothing. He didn’t come back to this topic during that night ever again.


Durer didn’t expect that his father would be so kind to him. He didn’t get angry because his son left home. He even invited him to dinner. Durer was surprised when he saw so many sophisticated meals on the table. He hadn’t seen so much food for a very long time. He wondered how his father had got money for all of this.

“Lets have some wine.” Bollanet filled the glasses.

Durer took a sip. The meals looked delicious, but somehow he didn’t feel hungry at all. He came here only because he wanted to know why the father invited him, and finish it as soon as possible. When Bollanet was eating, he just watched him.

“Why don’t you have some? You got thinner.” Said Bollanet.

“I’m not hungry.”

“So . . . when do you start your work?”

“Soon. I have a training first.”

“Then, you have still time to reconsider it. I have a proposition for you.” Bollanet emptied his glass.

“What proposition?” Durer sounded emotionless.

“Lets say I found the way to become very, very rich.” Bollanet smirked. “And I can let you help me with the business. You would benefit.”

“What kind of business?”

“Something connected with trade. I’ll tell you more when you take my offer.”

Then, Durer abruptly stood up, and kicked the table in rage, so everything fell to the floor. He looked really angry, but Bollanet stayed perfectly calm.

“I’m not your toy!” Durer shouted and left without saying goodbye.

“You’ll return.” Bollanet muttered to himself. “You’ll return.”


He stood in front of the mirror. It was his first day of work, but he didn’t feel anxious. Rather excited, but he didn’t show it. He put on his uniform and did the buttons. He looked more mature than ever before, and for the first time he had an impression that he can control his own life. And not only his, but lives of others as well. He had already known he would like this job. With a feeling of confidence he put on his gloves, and then the cap. Now he was ready to start a new life.

15 years later . . .

Everything went totally wrong. Sitting in his cell Bollanet thought only about the various ways, he would like to kill Vallewida. The bastard was the cause of all his problems. He should have killed him long time ago, before the truth was revealed.

He hadn’t seen Durer for a few days now. He didn’t know what happened to him. But he got the answer sooner than he thought.

“What a pitiful sight.” Durer entered the cell, wearing the uniform, as usual, and it seemed that nothing had changed in his life at all.

“I don’t understand. Weren’t you charged like me?” Bollanet asked surprised.

“I was, but Gerard helped me to prove I wasn’t involved in that stuff of yours and get out of here.” Said Durer, obviously satisfied.

“That’s wonderful!” Bollanet got excited. “There’s still a chance to win the elections. First you have to help me get out of here!” He stood up, but then, totally unexpectedly, Durer sent him to the floor, using his baton. He hit him a few times and smirked.

“I don’t think so.” The evil smile didn’t leave his face.

“Why did you do that?” Bollanet tried to get up. “I thought you were on my side? How can you treat like that your own relative?”

“Because I had a great teacher.” Durer came closer, and whispered to his shivering father’s ear. “I’ll make sure that every day of your life here will be miserable. I’ll make your life a nightmare, as you made mine.”

Bollanet gulped, and Durer started to laugh like a maniac. The laughter echoed trough the corridor and could be heard in the other cells. And then the laughter was followed by screams.

the end