The Renegade Adored

Kaidan landed the shuttle in a clearing, because the forest where someone had decided to reintroduce black wolves to the Southeastern seaboard was too thick to fly through. "I guess we should just follow the screaming," he said, trying to be calm.
"That's an Asari. It's the Senator's wife," said Garrus
"Not who we're looking for, but it's the only trail we have." Kaidan started towards the noise, then stopped as a chorus of chilling howls rippled through the forest. "Okay, that was a lot more unsettling than I thought it would be."
"Want me to go first?" grinned Garrus.
"What idiot decided this forest needed wolves anyway?" They walked side by side, in comfortable silence, covering each other.
Garrus started as he saw a dark shadow flit through the underbrush. "They're surrounding us," he said in surprise. "But they're not attacking."
"That doesn't actually make me feel better." They found a path, and followed it, trying to get closer to the screaming, which hadn't dropped in volume or quantity. "I think she's gone insane."
"Justice."
"What?"
"She stood by and watched while her husband threw Hayden to the wolves. Isn't that the phrase?"
Kaidan sighed. "Now I remember why Hayden likes you so much. You have the same warped sense of right and wrong."
Garrus looked at him. "You don't agree?"
"I didn't say that. But that doesn't make it right."
"One of us isn't using that word properly."
Kaidan smiled. "Good point."
They entered another clearing. The Senator's wife was in a tree, screaming her head off. About thirty black and dark brown wolves were gathered at the base of the tree, watching her patiently.
The wolves growled, then fled when they caught Garrus' alien scent.
The Asari shrieked again, and again, then broke into wild sobs of fear. "A Turian! Thank the Goddess! Get me out of here! Get those things away!" She screamed again, then started crying helplessly.
"Linda Fairholm?" said Garrus politely.
She nodded between her terrified sobs.
"I'll get her down," said Kaidan. "You keep watch." He climbed the tree, and helped her down. She clung to Kaidan, still sobbing uncontrollably. Kaidan mentally flipped a coin, and called the Alliance outpost instead of the Senator's office. "Connect me to whoever was trying to find the missing Senator."
Garrus watched Kaidan's face.
"We'll meet you there." Kaidan met Garrus' eyes, then looked away. "She's been arrested."
"What? They can't arrest a – "
Kaidan shook his head, cutting Garrus off. "Let's just go."
They walked the Senator's wife back to the shuttle, half-carrying the terrified woman. She fainted as soon as the shuttle took off. Kaidan headed to the Alliance outpost. "I guess I should put in a preliminary report on the shuttle's performance. I'm still not done testing yet," Kaidan grinned. "What should we do with her?"
Garrus looked at the Asari with distaste. "Can we just trade her and leave?"
"They're still trying to find the Senator."
Garrus turned and looked back at the wide expanse of thick forest. "In there?"
"Yeah."
Kaidan landed the shuttle, and Garrus lifted the Senator's wife out of the shuttle. Medics came up with a stretcher, and took her away.
Garrus resisted the urge to wipe off his hands. "I've spent too much time with Humans," he snarled to himself. Kaidan looked at him curiously, but he shook his head and didn't explain. "Let's get this over with."
Kaidan shrugged, and they entered the building.
"Commander Alenko!" The official, a nervous-looking young woman ran up to him. "Thank you so much for finding Mrs. Fairholm. This situation is getting out of hand," she quickly walked down the hall, leading them to the holding cells. "The local authorities are trying to get permission to interrogate the one prisoner we have, and there is a lot of strangeness here." She looked curiously at Garrus. "And now a C-Sec officer. This is crazy."
Kaidan paused outside the holding cell, drinking in the sight of her. She looked absurdly small, and incredibly dangerous in her gang clothes. Her hair was tucked behind her ears, and she was smiling at the angry officer in the room the way children smile at adults they have no respect for. Her hands were cuffed behind her back, and she had her feet on the only other chair in the room. He couldn't hear what the officer was saying to her, but he could tell that she was getting under his skin. The officer knocked her feet off the chair, and leaned into her personal space, threatening.
Kaidan didn't think twice before charging into the room and pulling the officer away. "Back off," he ordered.
Hayden started in surprise, and the mask of insolent indifference cracked for a second. "What? What are you doing here?"
Kaidan swallowed nervously, and wondered where Garrus was, and why he hadn't followed him into the room.
"So you're the Alliance officer they were all talking about." Hayden leaned back into her chair. "Did you find everything you were looking for?"
Kaidan still hadn't met her eyes. He didn't know what to say.
"I don't know who you are," said the detective. "I'm Detective KV Singh, and I am investigating the kidnapping of Senator Fairholm."
Kaidan sighed. "Commander Kaidan Alenko," he showed his credentials to the angry detective. "Mind if I talk to her alone?"
"Yes, I mind," snapped Singh. "I have a right to know what's going on."
"You can mind all you want. Either you walk out now, or I'll throw you out," Kaidan snarled. He didn't care what this man thought. The only thing he cared about right now was Hayden.
"Your superiors will hear from me," shouted Singh, but he left the room. Kaidan locked the door behind him.
"What the hell was that?" Hayden looked at Kaidan as if she had never seen him before.
"I've spent all day inside your head. I feel violent and I want to set something on fire."
"Oh." Hayden tried not to smile. "Sooo…."
"May I sit down?" he asked gently.
"Sure. You might want to dust off the chair. My shoes are dirty."
Kaidan brushed away the mud that her boots had left on the chair, and sat down. She was distractingly beautiful. He knew he should be thinking of something else, but all he wanted was to kiss her and tell her everything would be all right.
"Well?" she demanded.
"I'm … I'm thinking."
"You used to think a lot faster."
It suddenly struck him that he wasn't listening to her. He looked down at her shoes, lifted her feet to his lap so that he could examine the soles. They were encrusted with thick, black mud.
She watched him, her face inscrutable, as he checked the soles of his shoes. He pulled out a small grey rock, a remnant of the graveled paths.
Kaidan looked at her, but didn't say anything. He looked at her shoes again. "Where did you even find work boots in your size?"
"They're boys' shoes," she answered.
Kaidan ran a hand over the outside of the worn, dark leather, trying to pretend he wasn't caressing her. He pulled back the tongue, checking for a name or initials. He found what he was looking for, but didn't immediately take his hand away. "They look comfortable." He fixed the laces on her boots. "You must like wearing them."
"What are you doing here?" she asked again.
Kaidan continued looking at her boots. Her brother must have given them to her when she joined the gang. Or, knowing Hayden, she had helped herself and worn them ever since. "I'm here to help out a friend." He looked up at her face, still unreadable, then back down at the feet in his lap. "He called me for help because he was worried and didn't know what to do."
She frowned in confusion. The door opened, and Garrus walked in. Unlike Kaidan, his eyes were on Hayden. She pulled her feet away from Kaidan and sat up in her chair.
Garrus looked at Kaidan, then back at her. He leaned against the wall with a sigh. "I didn't know what else to do, Hayden."
"Wasn't that door locked?" she asked.
Garrus grinned. "The security here is terrible." He walked over and started unlocking her cuffs. "You're not going to hit me again, are you?"
Hayden blushed. "Sorry." She rubbed her wrists, smiled gratefully. "Thanks." She stared at her toes, tapped them together, not looking at either of the men in the room. "So... what are you doing here?"
Kaidan gritted his teeth. He didn't know what she wanted to hear, and he didn't want to talk to her like this. He stood up and opened the door. "Let's go."
She looked up at him. "Where?" Her face was unreadable again.
"I don't care. Anywhere but here. Let's go."
"All of us?" she asked curiously.
"Of course." He looked her over, trying to figure out what she was really trying to do. "I'm not doing this, not here. We're leaving. Let's go."
"But what are you doing?" she asked again.
"I'm trying to talk to you!" he exploded. "I want to help you, Hayden."
She still hadn't stood up, and Garrus was still standing behind her, waiting. She looked at Kaidan again. "But... don't you have a job to do?" she said softly.
"What?" Hayden had never been good at reading his inner decisions, he remembered. He already knew the answer, but he hadn't said it in a way she understood. "I don't care, it's not my problem. You are." He looked at her shoes again. "Besides, we'd never get there in time."
She looked at him in surprise, and Garrus looked at him in confusion.
"Can we leave, please? This place is giving me a headache." Kaidan walked out of the room.
Hayden looked at Garrus, unsure, and he motioned for her to follow Kaidan. She shrugged and walked out, Kaidan taking point and Garrus covering the rear.
"Where are your weapons?" Garrus asked.
"They take them away when you're arrested," Hayden explained.
"What happened to the motorcycle?" Kaidan asked.
"Accident," she said innocently. "It fell down a hole."
Kaidan didn't say anything to that. He got the Alliance official to return Hayden's belongings, completely ignoring the detective and all questions about the missing Senator.
Garrus watched her put her weapons away. "Where's that ID card you use to get everywhere?"
Hayden looked at him. "Don't you have anything better to do than stare at me all day?" She walked out of the outpost.
Kaidan signed Hayden's release form, and he and Garrus quickly followed her. "This way," he took her arm and led her to the shuttle.
"I'm not going to run off!" she protested.
Kaidan and Garrus looked at each other.
"Well, I'm not now," she amended with a quick grin. "Nice shuttle. Where are we going?"
Garrus helped her climb in, then got in the co-pilot's seat while Kaidan started the shuttle. "We should probably get off the planet as soon as possible. What was the phrase? Overstayed our welcome? That guy looks like he's planning to arrest us all."
"Wait!" The Senator's wife, trailed by the detective and some Alliance soldiers, ran out of the outpost. "You aren't getting away with this, you wretched little monster!" she screamed in rage. "Stop her!"
Hayden leaned forward so that she could see. "Who is that?"
Kaidan looked at her, trying to figure out what Hayden was thinking.
"Get her! Where is he? Make her talk! Where is my husband?"
"Who?" Hayden looked at Garrus and Kaidan, her face a perfect mask of innocent confusion. "She seems really angry. What is she talking about?"
"She's Senator Fairholm's wife," Kaidan explained, watching for her reaction.
"Oh," said Hayden slowly. "Yeah, I'd heard he was married to an Asari, but I've never met her." Hayden looked innocently out at her, noted the tears of rage and grief streaming down her pretty face. "Like I told the cop, I haven't been near the Senator."
Garrus laughed before he could stop himself. "Near," he repeated.
Hayden continued her sweet and innocent act. "Well, certainly not within five hundred yards."
"What?" The Asari stared at Hayden. "What did you just say?"
Hayden smiled sweetly, and leaned back in her seat. Kaidan shook his head, and closed the shuttle doors.
"Wait!" The woman screamed again, but Kaidan ignored her and took off. She continued screaming, uselessly, helplessly, until she collapsed to the ground. By then, Hayden was already far out of her reach.
"Where are we going?" Hayden repeated, smiling brightly.
Kaidan tried not to smile. "Garrus is right. We should get off-world before they try to arrest us all. We'll go pick up your things and go to Shanghai."
"You're not headed back to the hideout," she observed.
"Just taking in the view," Kaidan assured her. "I've never seen woods like these before. I thought Garrus might like to take one last look before we leave."
Garrus looked over the forest, trying to find it before Kaidan did.
"Do you even know what you're looking for?" she asked calmly.
"Not exactly," Kaidan confessed. "But knowing you, it's big enough to be seen from up here."
"And it would be at least five hundred yards across," Garrus added.
Hayden laughed, and leaned back in the seat. "You two really did spend all day in my head."
"There," Garrus pointed at a large hole in the forest. An unnaturally perfect circle. "That wasn't there before." The edges of the hole were muddy and dark. "Looks like the ground just sank away."
Kaidan hovered in place, but didn't move the shuttle any closer. Dark shadows flitted around the edge of the hole, hidden in the underbrush. Wolves, Kaidan guessed to himself. "Abandoned mine shaft?"
Hayden smiled.
"Doesn't look like anyone tried to climb out," said Garrus. "Cowards."
Hayden shrugged. "Maybe they like it down there. You could go check."
"No," said Kaidan. "The shafts are extremely unsafe. They collapse a lot."
Garrus looked at Hayden curiously. "Why would you want us to look?"
She shrugged again. "I thought you were supposed to be finding some missing guy, or something."
"Stop making me repeat myself, Hayden. I told you, I don't care. Let him rot down there."
Hayden looked out the window without speaking.
"Hayden, I didn't come here for him. I came here for you and Garrus. I'll show you my paperwork if you want."
She looked at him, suddenly interested. "Are you on vacation?"
"Sort of a roving commission." Kaidan landed the shuttle. He helped Hayden out, and didn't let go of her hand.
"I told you, I'm not going to run off. You don't have to hold on to me."
He looked at her. "I'm not going to run off either. Not this time."
Hayden smiled, suddenly nervous, and looked away. But she didn't try to pull away.
Garrus checked the back seat before getting out.
"Find anything?" asked Kaidan.
"Sort of," Garrus held out a small tracking device. "Think she'll go check the hole? Or come after us?"
Hayden looked at it in irritation. "She wasn't listening, was she?"
Garrus smiled at her. "I was jamming the audio transmission, except for the part where we said we found it."
"You know," Kaidan took the bug from him, dropped it and crushed it, "you're very mean sometimes. You just make up your mind not to like people, and then you hate them forever."
"You don't like her either!" Garrus protested.
"Well, no," Kaidan admitted. "But I'll forgive and forget her when she's dead. You two will just keep on hating her. It's not healthy."
Hayden walked up to the door. "Oh, dammit." She pulled off the little yellow notice. "I missed the UPS guy."
"Another delivery?" said Garrus curiously.
"We either have to wait a day or go pick it up." She handed the notice to Kaidan. "It's my wallet."
Kaidan looked at it. "Why did you mail yourself your wallet?"
Hayden hummed a little song to herself as she walked into the hideout, and didn't answer.
Garrus followed her, and Kaidan followed him. "That's why she got arrested," said Garrus suddenly. "No ID, she couldn't prove who she was. They wouldn't have tried to arrest a Spectre."
"Good point. If they hadn't arrested her, they might have found the hole too early." Kaidan watched her pull out cans of energy drinks from the bags. She handed one to Kaidan and one to Garrus, making sure she hadn't mixed them up, then opened her own. "Thank you."
Hayden sat down on the couch, and pulled up ColonyTown on her omni-tool. "Can I check something on your account, Garrus?"
"In a minute." Hayden looked at him in surprise, and Garrus grinned. "Kaidan's right, I am mean. I want to know where she went."
Kaidan sat down with a sigh. "Fine, where did she go?"
Garrus checked the reports from his own tracking device. "She went to go try and save her husband."
"Well, that's the end of her, isn't it?" Kaidan finished his drink. "Oh, I needed that. I didn't realize how hungry I was. You don't have any food in there, do you?"
Hayden blinked at him in surprise. "You're not mad." She turned off the game.
"No, I'm hungry."
She handed him an energy bar.
"Thanks." He ate and let her watch him. Garrus paced nervously for a bit, then sat down on the floor between them. "What?" said Kaidan finally.
"Nothing," said Hayden quickly. "I don't understand you. I never did."
"I'm sorry," he said simply. "I know it's hard for you. I try not to be confusing, but," he shrugged. "It doesn't always work."
Hayden turned the can around in her hands, thinking.
"Just say it, already," said Kaidan wearily.
Hayden flushed. "I'm trying not to make you mad."
"I'll say it, then," Garrus offered. "Kaidan, what are you doing here?"
Kaidan threw his wrapper at Garrus. "You know what I'm doing here! You called me in a panic, and told me you were worried about Hayden." He looked at her, but she was focused on reading the nutrition label on her drink. "You said you were scared, that she was trying to kill herself, and you didn't know what to do."
Hayden looked at Garrus, and Garrus looked back at her.
"Well, that's what it looked like. If I hadn't been with you, you would have been killed. And you kept trying to get rid of me."
Hayden went back to reading her can.
"I asked for a leave of absence," Kaidan continued. "My new boss asked me where I was going, and gave me a roving commission instead, in case I needed to pull rank. Which turned out to be the case, so I guess that worked out." He pulled out his credentials and handed them to Hayden. "I had no idea what I was getting into. I came here for you, because Garrus asked me to."
Hayden set the cards down on the couch without reading them. "That's why you came here. What are you doing now?" She looked from Kaidan to Garrus, then back to Kaidan again. "What happens now?"
Garrus looked at her again, drinking in the alien softness of her face, the familiar curves. "I know why you did it. I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same. Sitting here, I think you went a little overboard, but I didn't grow up where you did. I didn't see the same things. I understand, as far as I can. If that helps."
"It does," she said softly. She looked at him, quickly, then back at her can.
"I hate what happened to you," said Kaidan. He reached out, and took the can from her. "Look at me. Don't shut me out."
"I'm not," she protested. "Am I?"
"You're going to, because I'm going to say something that upsets you." He held her hand, and tried to meet her eyes. She looked down, at his hand, and Kaidan decided not to push her any farther.
"Oh."
"I don't hate you. I don't blame you for being angry. I'm not mad at you for lashing out at the people who hurt you. I'm just ... disappointed. I'm angry with the people who had a chance to help you, but let you grow up twisted, and hating yourself."
"Don't," she said warningly.
"He made a mistake, Hayden. I know you loved Trace," Hayden tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her. "You needed a family. Not a job, not schooling. You needed him." He pulled her hand a little closer to him. "Just like you need me. Us. I shouldn't have abandoned you either. I'm sorry." She sobbed, and a tear fell onto his hand. "I'm so sorry, Hayden."
"Why?" she whispered. "Why are you in love with me? I'm a horrible person, I'm a murderer," she sobbed, speaking so quietly he could barely hear her. "Why don't you just leave and find someone normal?"
"Because I love you. But that's not enough, is it?" he mused. "I'm not sure what you want to hear."
"Is that why Trace sent you away?" asked Garrus.
Hayden didn't answer, just let out another heartbroken sob.
"He did," said Garrus, trying not to be angry. "But you loved him anyway."
"And he got killed before you could explain yourself, or understand him." Kaidan smiled. "I understand a little better now." He reached out, and brushed the tears away from her face. "Hayden, honey, I'm not your brother. I know what you've done." He tilted her head up so she could see his eyes. "And I don't care. I love you anyway. Possibly, I love you because of it. I'm not sure what that says about me," he laughed. "But it's true."