Moths

Moths

 

Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain belongs to Edios and Crystal Dynamics not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Vorador . . . then he’d be mine.

Warning: this fic contains YAOI (GuyXGuy), blood play and a lemon, if this offends or upsets you do not read this, it’s that simple.

Rating: M

Pairing: Kain/Raziel

Setting: post Blood omen 2 pre Soul Reaver one. In the time of the clans.

Authoress note: In which Raziel confronts the vampiric change for the first time.

 

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Chapter Two

{Raziel}

 

Six months later.

 

It was warm again. The rains have come and when they came they brought heat with them. A muggy, suffocating heat, that made breathing uncomfortable and movement an effort. The air, muggy from the outside evening, came into the room from the open window, a damp condensation settled on some of the cooler surfaces. I woke slowly and brushed a few damp strands of hair from my eyes. I disliked this weather as did every vampire in Nosgoth, but there was little to be done but endure. So I had decided to endure the season in relative comfort, accidentally getting myself into the sanctuary just at the start of the rainy season then declaring it too dangerous to return to my clan grounds. I did not worry for my few children; they are independent creatures that dislike being told exactly what to do all of the time. It is often best to give them guidelines rather than orders. They caused me little trouble and would no doubt be fine while I hid myself away in the sanctuary. This is a common tactic of mine, one my father is more than able to userp with the simple act of teleporting me back to my clan. But when every rainy season comes Kain mysteriously forgets how to teleport. Funny that.

 

I blink a few times to clear the sleep from my eyes and find my vision coming into focus on the back of Kain’s head. I yawn and glance at the window, there is still light coming in so I can return to sleep should I choose. Normally I am an early riser and enjoy being so. But today I am tired, my body feels heavy and hungry. I contemplate getting up in search of food but sleep sounds better and easier. So I bury myself back under thin sheets and press my nose into the back of Kain’s head, and get buried in his hair. It tickles my nose, making me squirm. Kain groans at me and an arm hurtels back colliding with my stomach in a sleepy fit of pique. I take the hint and stop squirming, Kain mumbles something, God knows what, and settles. But his movement makes his damned hair move across my face. I sneeze and suddenly find myself staring into sleepy golden eyes.

 

“You couldn’t just stay asleep could you?” Kain mumbles rolling onto his back and throwing an arm over his eyes. He is always such fun in the mornings, slow and relaxed. My body still feels heavy and lethargic but I don’t care as another part of my body has decided it is very much awake. I smirk at my father and stretch rather deliberately pressing myself along his side. Kain does nothing. I stretch again this time making a contented stretching groan. Kain still does nothing so I poke him.  “Leave me be hellion.” I most certainly am not a hellion. Deciding some retaliation is in order I sit up and collapse back down across his chest. Many would be surprised to know that he can be a rather comfortable pillow and normally has no objection to me using him as such. But today I lie down with more force than usual. Kain groans, possibly admitting defeat. I am pleased when clawed hands grip my hips and lift me so I am sprawled atop him like a blanket. The hands stay on my hips holding me in place.

 

“I am not a hellion.” I grin at him, sleep well and truely forgotten now. Kain grumbled something and closed his eyes, for all the world appearing to go back to sleep. Lazy bum. I huff and his facade of sleep is somewhat ruined  when he smirks at my huff. I lean up and kiss him. I mean it to be quick, honest. It is ment more in play than anything serious but as often happens with my father I find myself becoming much more engrossed than I mean to.  The kiss becomes hard when Kain’s hand settles on the back of my head, holding me in place. I relax knowing better than to fight for dominance; and after a moment my submission had its desired effect. A low rumble in Kain’s chest and the pleased sound escaped into the kiss. I smirked as much as I am able, Kain may be able to twist me into an overly sensitive mass of hormones but I am not with out my own tricks. I purr lightly into the kiss and pressed back a little harder. Abruptly I am dumped onto my back, Kain above me. I cannot help but let my smirk widen as I wrap legs around his waist.

 

“Still want to go back to sleep?” I ask making my voice as casual as possible given my current position. Unsurprisingly I get no answer, but then retrospectively I am glad, Kain’s mouth was better off doing other things anyway. I lie back and luxuriate in feeling him above me. I am quiet content to do very little. Teeth brushed lightly against my collar bone, snapping closed millimetres away from my flesh. I lift a surpringly heavy arm and dig my claws into his hair. My small, sharp claws scraping over his scalp, gently pushing him lower. I watch as all the hairs on his arms stand to attention and he lets out a soft growl, it is a token sound to show he dislikes being pushed and I stop leaving his head level with my chest. Sharp, evil teeth bit down abruptly around a nipple and I arch against him almost instantly.

 

“Plea . . .” I manage before the bite becomes harder, turning my words into meaningless sounds. I have never felt shame when I whimper or beg of Kain. He seems to revel in it and I am always amazed that it is I who can make him look as such with simple sounds. Kain moved lower to kiss at my arousal, making me gasp and shiver.

 

“Turn around.” Kain’s words were thick with both lust and the low gravel that always comes into his voice with sleep. I smirk, undeniably pleased with myself and roll over.

 

Preparation is smooth but fast, as it usually is; pleasant but over quickly, both if us wanting to move faster. The slight burn of the oil always makes my arms shake and usually crumble under me putting me on my elbows and knees. Each touch turning me into a quivering collection of limbs and soft sounds. I bite my lip trying to get some semblance of control, no doubt my quick unravelling would go straight to Kain’s head, smug bastard. So I fight to remain silent when he pushes inside, and press my head into my arms, biting down into my own skin. The sudden scent of blood makes Kain pause and lean down his head resting against my shoulder while he waits. I can feel him quivering and revel in it for a moment before my own need becomes too demanding. My body is aching, both with arousal and oddly enough exhaustion. I feel like I haven’t slept in days, my muscules burning with fatigue.

 

“Move.” I manage after a moment, blood dripping down my chin onto the pillows. Kain refuses, a hand wrapping around my cheek turning my head so he can see me. I glare at him. “Move, damn you.”

 

“Damn me?” Kain sounds amused as he starts to move. Superior as always. “But Raziel I am already damned, as are, you.” The last word was punctuated by a slightly harder thrust making me groan as he finds his rhythm. I is not long before I give up trying to remain still and quiet and arch back against Kain’s chest. My back aching.

 

One of the hands that had been holding my hips moves to cup my chin again, turning my head a little so blood could be lapped from my mouth. It is awkward and he doesn’t do it for long. Pulling back he resettles his grip on my hips and thrusts harder. He bends down pressing his front to my back and lifts me off my elbows. I put my arms out and grab the headboard. The new angle hits my prostate perfectly and I cannot stop the noise I make. Kain’s mouth is at my throat and a hand is moving towards my cock. I don’t know what to ask for first, the bite or the touch. Kain takes my choice away from me when his hand wraps around me and moves in time with his hips. My legs start to go and I’m suddenly struggeling to hold myself up. I open my mouth to say something, anything i have no idea what, but my thoughts are demolished when teeth break my skin and everything is suddenly more. My legs do give out but it doesn’t matter Kain is strong enough to hold us both, one hand on my cock the other wrapped around my chest. My vision is blurring and I don’t care, it’s wonderful. It’s too much though and I cannot warn him, I come hard and suddenly. He’s not expecting it and his rhythem faulters when I clench around him. The sound he makes is wonderful and his teeth come down harder. My vision fogs more so and whites out completely.

 

I come too crushed beneath him. I cannot remember the last time I lost consciousness during sex, it takes a lot for me to lose control that badly, last time Kain had tormented me for what felt like an age, bringing me close only to deny me, then pushing me over with such force that my body had to shut down. I can feel him breathing against my back and stop worrying, it doesn’t matter why it was so intense. The fact that it was intense was a good thing. My body aches pleasantly and it isn’t until I try to move that I relaise something is wrong. I can move but it’s such an effort. I can barely keep my eyes open and everything hurts. I ache more than I can ever remember aching before and I ache everywhere.

 

“Raziel?” Kain calls my name but he sounds far away. I know something is wrong but the feeling of panic that flares in me is too much effort to keep up.

 

“Kain.” I yawn and nuzzle against his arm. My voice sounds unusual, slurred and quiet. “I feel really tired.”

 

“It takes more than a quick fuck to tire you out.” Kain’s words are soft, like he is worried. He rolls off of me and I can breathe easier.

 

“I’m hungry.” I yawn again, my stomach growls. Gentle hands lift me, I blink a few times to clear my vision and smile when I find myself face to face with the crock of Kain’s throat. I take a deep breath through my nose, he smells wonderful, like earth and blood and now sex. I bite down harder than I meant to, the blood comes quickly and I almost choke, but I manage to regain control of the bite and slow it down. When I pull back Kain’s moved us so I’m sprawled across him. It’s amazingly comfortable and I would rather avoid moving.

 

“You’ll be fine,” Kain’s voice is knowing, “but you should sleep now.”  I feel content, safe. Something may well be wrong with me but Kain knws what it is and he will fix it. I have nothing to worry about, so I sleep.

 

I wake slowly, my body fighting to stay asleep. I feel as if I had only just laid down to rest. My body is burning, but goosebumps have settled over my arms and I shiver as I wake. I try to roll over but my back feels like my spine is a solid iron bar, unbending. I let out a low groan and open my eyes slowly. The room comes into focus very slowly, it is dark outside and the window is open, the air is cooler than I had expected but the muggy scent of the rainy season still remains strong. There is a dim light coming from the desk and I blink several times willing it to come into focus. Kain is sat at the desk watching me over the rim of a thick tome that he lowers and rests in his lap. There is a half full pitcher next to him and his hands are smudged with ink.

 

“How long did I sleep?” I ask, my voice rough and dry.

 

“Just two days.” Kain puts the tome down, the scent of dust is strong when the book is moved. My eyes go wide at his words, two days, two whole days without waking. I should be energetic now but all I want is to return to sleep, although food would not go amiss. “How do you feel?” Kain asks standing and moving closer until he is kneeling by the bed.

 

“Tired and sore.” I admit. “My limbs are heavy.”

 

“You will change soon.” Kain’s voice is calm, “do not be frightened, you will be fine, when you wake the pain will be gone.”

 

“Change?” I ask struggling to pull in enough breath for the word. “You mean like you did?” a note of panic creeps into my voice and I hate it. I sound like a coward. But I cannot help my next question. “But what if I don’t wake up?” I struggled to sit up but a strong hand on my shoulder kept me down.

 

“Calm down.” Kain’s expression and voice are soft, he is quiet for a moment before speaking, “we are as moths Raziel, but where they only change once we change many, many times.”

 

“But what if I don’t …” I swallowed hard, a sudden pain gripping my insides in a fist of fire.

 

“You have nothing to fear I will watch you.” Kain runs a hand over my hair. The guesture is familiar and comforting. “Come here,” Kain moves, lifting me in one arm as if I weigh nothing at all, he holds me to his side, he is so much cooler than I am. “You must be strong for this.” With his free hand Kain cuts into his throat, painting my lips with his blood before pulling me to the wound.

 

My stomach growls fiercly and I latch onto him, every swallow lessens the pain. The wound closed quickly and I pull back but Kain puts pressure on my head and holds me to him. “More.” His voice is firm. I bite down and continue to feed. I have fed from him many times over the years but always in short bursts, never as long as I do now. Twice more the bites I made closed over and twice more Kain bids me bite again. I can feel his heart slow in his chest and when he eventually pulls me back he is paler than I have ever seen him. He puts me down and stands. He smils at me and I feel safe again.

 

“You will sleep now and when you wake you will be stronger.” Kain’s lips are the same colour as the rest of him, all dark tint gone. “We will hunt together, then we will return here.” He stops speaking but his eyes smoulder and I smile back at the dark promise, remembering what had transpiered when we had returned after he had woken from torpor.

 

But despite the seeming confidence Kain has in my waking I can’t fight my fear completely. I feet as if all mybeing  strength is pulled from me, I can hardly move myself even now after two days of sleep and the deepest feed from Kain that I have had had since I was a true fledgling. My eyes are still closing. I do not want to die. I want to live, I want to hunt, to run in the forest chasing down hapless mortals, I want to touch. Struggling I lift my arm trying to touch Kain but I lose my strength when my hand is only a few inches up from the sheet. My hand falls but Kain catches it and smirks, smug bastard.

 

“If I die,” I say quietly “I will haunt you.” my words are meant to be light but fear is strong in my voice and the attempt at humour dies when I grip Kain’s hand as hard as I can manage, my eyes close. I desperately try to speak but the words die as I lose my grip on consciousnesses and my grip fades leaving shallow cuts on kain’s hand.

 

“Foolish child.” I hear Kain say. “You are already dead.”  Than all is dark.

 

It takes me a while to realise I am dreaming. I hate it when I know I am dreaming. I have heard others speak of knowing when they dream and being able to control it, they can fly if they choose to, or swim down into the darkest ocean and not be burnt by the water. But I find I have no such control over my dreams. Instead I feel like a prisoner in my own mind. Able to see and hear what is happening in the dream but not influence it in any way. Rahab has listened to me speak on this topic before and had in his infinite boredom and slight pity for his disgruntled older sibling, has done some research on the subject. He found a great many books relating to the idea of visions and was determind this is what I suffer from. It was the only alternative that Rahab could come up with, the idea that perhaps I did not dream but instead had visions of the future or past or even the present. The idea that what I was seeing was a visin of the future and not my minds ravings unsetteled me more than the idea of lucid dreaming.

 

This dream is cold. Unusually cold, and instantly I hate it. It is dark and for some unknown reason I have the feeling I am in water. It is odd as I am not burning but somehow I can tell I am immersed in water. I am able to see something, but I cannot make sense of it. It is immense and it moves, i know then that it is something alive and concious. It is an animal.  A great foul creature of many limbs but I cannot see it’s body, only a collection of it’s limbs. I do not know why but at the sight of it a great cold dread fills me. This thing, this creature makes me sick to my stomach.

 

I watch the creature for a moment waiting for it to speak. Can it even speak? I almost leap from my skin when the soul reaver comes down hard and fast on a limb next to my right. I let out a sound that I will never admit to and take a few rapid steps back. Blinking at the sight before me I am confused. The man before me is clearly a vampire, but like none I have seen. I stare for a moment before my stomach drops. It is Kain, his hair is longer and bound back, his skin has changed from pearl white to a tarnished greenish gold, his hands are talons and he is bloody huge. I swallow trying to make sense of what I am seeing. It is my father before me and he is furious. Furious at the monster. The Soul Reaver comes down time and time again, slicking through blubbery flesh sending blood and hunks of the creature into the air. I do not think i have ever seen him in such a rage before. It is horrifying and yet i cannot look away.

The monster is not idel in this fight however and this strange Kain takes many blows. But the battle does not last long. The ground shakes and the building around us crumbles and starts to collapse. Kain stops attacking and speaks. But I cannot hear him. He snarls at the monster and vanishes upwards and I feel myself pulled upwards along with my father for which I am grateful, I do not want to remain with that monster as it is buried alive. For it still lives, it moves and writhes as the building crumbles. What kind of monster could withstand such an attack from my father and his blade. It must be unbelieveably tenatious to still draw breath.  

 

Looking away from the monster I see paintings on the walls, strange ones and I am even more confused, where the hell are we? Kain turned to leave and I follow. We walk for a time down a long corridor and over stones covered with snow and into another building, this place is strange, like one of the clan holdings but not one I recognised. It is a citadel, perhaps. We enter a new building, Kain sliding through the bars in a mist form and I simply walking through them, this is my dream after all. We walk up stairs and into a large, bare circular room.

 

“This place is really boring.” I grumble. Kain walks to a giant hole in the wall and I cannot help but wonder if he made that hole. He is rather good at smashing things. I follow him and stop as i catch sight of something very wrong. “What are the . . .wait.” The broken pillars are not far away, but there was no sanctuary, the land is green and there are tiny birds in the sky, not the usual scavenger ravens I was so used to. The pillars are smoking. We ...we are in Nosgoth’s past? I look at my alien father and cannot make sense of it. The pillars are newly destroyed in the distance, Kain is not Kain, but some ancient beast who fights unbelieveable monsters in unknown citidels. I have no understanding of any of this.

 

“I hope you understand this, because I have no clue.” I say to my father, watching as he stops by the hole in the wall.

 

Kain sits and briefly I look around wondering why Kain would have to fight such a monster alone, surely I would not have let my father do something so foolish by himself. Where am I or rather where is the me who should be here with him?  A sharp clang snaps me out of my wonderings as the reaver falls to the floor. Kain’s reaction surprises me, I have seen Kain drop the damn thing many times, never before had Kain looked so appalled with himself, you would have thought he had dropped a babe. 

 

“Come Raziel.” Kain says softly lifting the blade, I look around again for myself, I must be here if he speaks to me. But there is no one else here but myself and my strange father. “We’ll have to do something, I suppose.” And with those words my father erupts in a cloud of bats and flees the ruined building, leaving me behind.

 

Darkness swallows me and I am glad that was just too confusing.

 

“Raziel?” there is movement beside me; someone is pulling at my hair “Raziel?”

 

“Leave him be.” The slightly amused voice of my father mutters

 

“But he moved!” the first voice muttered “oi!” I feel myself get hit and I recognise Turel’s voice. Typical, just typical, I was nice and warm, and comfortable, the scent of Kain is strong and I dimly remember falling asleep at the sanctuary; so I guess I am in Kain’s bed and here is Turel. Here to ruin it all. I don’t think I will ever get over the idea that my younger sibling was born simply to ruin my life.

 

“I brought you here to tech you, not to let you poke your brother.” Kain chids but he doesn’t sound interested.

 

“I am not poking him father,” Turel says “I am investigating.” I can almost hear Kain glare at Turel; I know the exact expression Kain would have, one of mild disinterest and impatience. I hear Kain sigh and something heavy is put down. The bed moves and I assume that Turel had stood up.

 

“Do you understand? Kain asks quietly

 

“I think so father.” Turel answers not sounding cocky anymore, “but it does seem unsettling that we would do such a thing.” I heard movement and the soft sound of claws in hair.

 

“Do not worry child,” Kain’s voice is soft “I will come to you when it is your time to change,” the ‘I will look after you,’ went unspoken. There is a quiet muttering and the sound of movement, then I heard the door close and I risked opening my eyes. They are heavy and my vision is poor.

 

“Fa . . .” I try to speak but my voice is ruined from the long sleep.

 

“You’re not truly dead then.” Kain smirks at me and comes to the bed. “See you should listen to me more, I told you that you would survive.”

 

Briefly I see a flash of my dream, in the strange Nosgoth, of past greenery but evolved vampires and my absence and wonder if I really will survive.