Chapter 3: The Harrowing Begins
The strong arms carrying her were covered with heavy armor. It was so familiar.
'C-Cullen?' she sleepily wondered. She would have been blushing if she was not still in a sleep trance.
The templar carried her to the stairs before attempting to fully arouse her from her slumber.
"Apprentice Amell, you are to come with us. It is time to prove yourself as a mage."
Lita's eyes popped open with fear. It was happening. Her Harrowing was finally here. The templar placed the mage upon her feet and nudged her towards the stairs. There was no turning back. She walked up the stairs with her silent captors close behind her. She walked quietly through the senior quarters, where one of the templars lead her to the next staircase. The other two templars stayed very close behind her, probably to ensure that she would not try to escape. She assumed other mages had tried in the past, but she found the idea preposterous. It was everyone in the tower against you at this point. It would be incredibly foolish to fight your way out.
However, if you were disillusioned enough to believe the templars were taking you to your death, escaping would be the only option. They passed through the templar quarters, all three templars telling her to keep her head down and not to speak, so as not to disturb the sleeping men in the dorms. Naturally she did as she was ordered to, though she peeked about, trying to see how the templars lived. It was the same setup as the senior mage quarters. Looking at her companions, she could not tell them apart as each was wearing the full templar uniform. She didn't recognize their voices, but she had hoped that Cullen would not be present for this. She did not know what sort of ritual this would be, but she could only imagine the most unpleasant things happening.
'What if I'm stripped naked and told to perform some sick task? Like a rite of passage no one is willing to break for the sake of tradition? What if they tell me I am to be tortured? Would the First Enchanter really allow that? Holy... Andraste... I'm terrified.' They encountered more stairs, spiraling higher than she had ever dared to imagine. The two templars behind her remained at the bottom as the one leading her continued walking. She followed closely, scared out of her mind. As they reached the top, she lifted her head with great anxiety to see an enormous room with two templars, as well as Greagoir and Irving. It was a small gathering. Her heart fell into her stomach when she saw Cullen. He was not wearing his helm, as usual. He was staring at his feet, probably trying to avoid eye contact. As she approached, the templar she had been traveling with strayed behind her, not far from where she stopped to address her audience. Everyone stared at her expectantly. Even Cullen lifted his head to focus his eyes on her. Greagoir stepped forward very formally. His gray hair was of moderate length, as was his beard. He looked worn and tired out beyond belief, but he spoke to her as though he was unaffected by his current state.
"'Magic exists to serve man and never to rule over him.' Thus spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruled by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruins. Your magic is a gift, but it is also a curse, for demons of the dream realm—the Fade—are drawn to you, and seek to use you as a gateway into this world. "
"This is why the Harrowing exists. The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a demon, armed with only your will," Irving stated, as if trying to prepare her for what was to come. His eyes had dark purple circles beneath them. He needed sleep more that Greagoir, it seemed. His long hair and even longer bushy beard was incredibly unkempt.
'I hope that doesn't mean I will be some naked ...bodiless thing floating around there...' her mind was racing to match the speed of her heart. But she had faced demons before, never killing them, but outsmarting them by far. Perhaps she was not as doomed as she had first thought
'But... it doesn't seem all that bad. I think I can do this... I hope.' "And I am to defeat this demon? Is there... any other option?"
"Is losing all your magic an option? No, I have faith that you will succeed," Irving stated encouragingly as he placed his hand on her shoulder."
"Know this, apprentice: if you fail, we templars will preform our duty. You will die," Greagoir said plainly, without any hint of remorse for his comment.
Lita couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips. She looked at him with trepidation, eyebrows reaching for the heavens, her eyes full of fear. She felt her body tremble beneath Irving's hand, as did he. His eyes were focused on her, though she did not meet them until he spoke. They were compassionate, understanding. It eased her fears just a little bit. The two templars she did not know stood off in the distance, clearly only a backup precaution. Greagoir listened intently to Irving's conversation with Lita, as did Cullen. She found his eyes for a moment, seeing the worry in them. Immediately she tore herself from them; she was scared enough without thinking of being slain in front of him.
"This is the very essence of magic, and your gateway into the Fade," Irving said, guiding her to a small pedestal with a great amount of lyrium glowing beautifully inside its bowl-like precipice. "We keep this ritual secret out of necessity, child. Every mage must go through it. Keep your wits about you."
She shut her eyes tight, hoping this was a horrible dream. Her wits weren't going to slay demons for her. She opened her eyes to see him watching her pain, reaching out as much as he could. She really was his star pupil; he wanted her to succeed more than anyone else.
"The spirits may rule that world, but your own will is real," the First Enchanter advised.
"The apprentice must go through this
alone, First Enchanter. You
are ready." Greagoir was probably worried that Irving would give her all the answers to her test. She supposed he had a point. She was supposed to learn for herself just what to do. Walking by Cullen, she glanced at him. He was so full of overflowing concern and she saw it. He mouthed the words "Good luck," though he dare not breathe the words aloud, lest he make everyone suspicious of his feelings for her. She felt strange about this ordeal. She was happy for his support, but she was terrified to disappoint him, to disappoint them all. She warily walked towards the lyrium; it was glowing a bright baby blue and cast a highlight on her features as she approached. She reached out towards it with her hand. It glowed on her fingertips and swallowed her hand. It quickly overtook her body and she couldn't hold back the scream of fear any longer. A bright light engulfed the entire room as she clenched her eyes together. It resembled the light she had seen at the altar when she was here earlier. Her body tingled strangely; it was probably just her nerves. When she opened her eyes, she saw it again: the Fade. This time is was not masked by her desire. She saw the clusters of dead-looking earth before her, lined with strange fences and ominous statues. She inspected herself to make sure nothing had changed, not tricks. She was still in her nightgown, but it was better than being nude, or bodiless. She appreciated that her silent pleas to the Maker were seemingly heard.
There was nowhere to go except forward, so she did. There was a strange path,leading her to where she needed to go. The Fade was funny like that, drawing a straight line for her. It was probably just eager to consume her.
'In its eyes the quickest path for you means the quickest path to its freedom. But what else can I do? I need to do this. Move legs, move.' Her wavering legs took steps slowly and carefully. She watched vigilantly for any signs of the demon.
"Someone else thrown to the wolves. As fresh and unprepared as ever. It's not right that they do this, the templars. Not to you, to me, anyone," a masculine voice rang out in the silence. She jumped at the sound, though she thought she was prepared for anything. She came upon the sound of the voice.
"You... you're a … talking rat."
Before her very eyes the rat transformed into a human mage. He was robed like an apprentice. Under different circumstances, she thought maybe he would have been cute, but he terrified her and his tone was harsh. His face seemed full of experience, yet youthful and vibrant. She had a strange feeling about him, but she didn't know why. He was probably just a spirit, wandering the Fade like Irving had warned.
"You think you're really here? In that body? You look like that because you
think you do! Well I guess it's not your fault... You're in the same boat I was," he sighed in annoyance. "Welcome to the Fade. You can call me... well, Mouse."
"Hello, Mouse. This isn't my first time in the Fade... Well, not in this instance exactly... but somewhere in here... Wait, you took the Harrowing?" She was surprised.
"It's fuzzy, that time before. They wake you up in the middle of the night and drag you to the Harrowing chamber... and then the templars kill you if you take too long, you see. They figure you've failed. That's what happened to me. You're going to end up the same before long, with no body to reclaim. There's no way out."
"That's... not going to happen to me. I know the people out there. They would never..."
Mouse scoffed. "What makes you so special? People have said that before you, you know. Your only way out is to resist the demon contained here, if you can."
"I doubt it's as simple as killing the demon. There's got to be more to it..." She was thinking aloud, but she had no idea if she could trust Mouse. It was best to test the waters.
"You would be foolish to attack everything you see. What you must face is powerful, cunning. It requires thought. There are others here, other spirits who may be willing to help. I'll... follow you if that's all right. My chance was long ago, but you... you may have a way out."
With that he transformed back into a mouse and scurried behind her. She did not like the way he said his last line, but he knew more of the Fade than she did. Even if he was looking for something, he seemed willing enough to show her where she would go. She traveled quicker now, remembering what Mouse said about the templars killing him because he took to long. Even if that were a lie, she would not doubt Greagoir would do just that if she took longer than he would like. Cullen would not be able to object to his superior and Irving would not be able to stop him. She continued on the path, her mind racing. She almost missed the silver glow of a spirit to her left.
"Another mortal thrown to the flames and left to burn, I see..." His voice was boisterous. She squeaked at the sound of it. He was dressed as a templar, fully concealed, though his eyes glowed from beneath his helm. She watched him carefully.
"Your mages have devised a cowardly test. Better you were pitted against each other to prove your mettle with skill, than to be sent unarmed against a demon," he continued disapprovingly. She noted the racks upon racks of glowing weapons behind him.
"You know why I'm here then. Can you help me? Those weapons... it would seem that you crafted them yourself. Would they hurt the demon?" she asked hastily. The sooner it was over, the better. She would not mind having a staff to help her smooth the process as well.
"Without a doubt. In this realm, everything that exists is the expression of a thought. Do you truly desire one of my weapons? I will give you one...
if you agree to duel me. Valor shall test you mettle as it should be tested." The spirit sounded eager to battle.
"Your own will is real..." she whispered quietly to herself.
"What was your answer? I didn't quite catch it," the spirit of Valor queried.
"It seems that you would prefer to kill me yourself!" She was surprised she had the courage to stand up to this spirit. He looked like he could cleave her in two, just like any strong templar in the tower.
"What are you
doing? He'll kill you!" Mouse whined in protest, though he did not come to her aide. He hid behind her, cowering. "Don't be a fool!"
"How dare you accuse me! I am no demon, preying upon the helpless mortals to steal their essence! I am a being of honor and valor! I am a warrior!" She had enraged the spirit.
"Well... uh... Then... prove it!" She was breathing heavy, but she would not back down. She knew her strong determination would be they key to her success. Irving had told her that. "Help me fight the demon!"
"You are insolent... but your will is unquestionably strong. You prove to me you have the strength to resist this demon. Courageous mage, take this weapon. I am confident that you will succeed."
"Thank you, spirit. I shall be victorious, thanks to you," Lita spoke softly but confidently as she bowed. She then turned and resumed at a quick pace down the path lain before her.
"Are you crazy? If you provoke every spirit like that, you will surely wind up stuck here forever, just like me," Mouse squeaked in defiance of Lita's choice.
Lita shook her head. "No. I'm keeping myself tied to reality through my will. I don't know how well that translates to you, Mouse, but it's keeping my head clear. I'm thinking in a new way than I'm used to thinking... You see, I'm really just a shy, nervous mage. I'm easily startled and I'm usually the first to back down at the sign of violence. I would rather avoid confrontation. I've always been like that. But being here, in this place... I can't back down, lest I be walked all over. I have to be stronger than I was before I came in. I'm... realizing that now."
Before Mouse could retort, they were upon another being. Mouse grumbled that it was a demon, but not the one she was to face in order to escape. It looked like a giant bear with sharp jagged fangs. His skin looked as though it was turned inside out. The demon lazily looked at her with curiosity as it yawned.
"Are you... here to help me?" she called out curiously to it, frightened beyond belief. "I need help defeating a demon."
"Help you?" he chuckled lightly and slowly. "Nothing can help you. Surely you should be hurrying along and defeating this demon, rather than talking to Sloth, mortal. You have a very nice staff... and a...
friend. Why would you need my help when you have such nice things?" He yawned.
"He looks powerful," Mouse whispered. "Perhaps he can teach you to be like him."
"Like me?" Sloth scoffed. "Humans are not so willing to part with their forms. But
you, little one, would make a much better student. You let go of the human form years ago."
"I... don't think so. I'd make a terrible bear. How would I hide?" Mouse tried to reason.
"Hiding won't solve anything. We need to face our fears, become strong, remember?" Lita responded.
"
We?I have face more in this place than you have imagined... Ah, I'm sorry. You are right. Hiding does not help. The Fade... changes you like you have said. I have been here too long." Mouse said in defeat.
"Hmm... I suppose you are a mildly amusing distraction. Would you leave me be, should I do this? I only desire more rest."
"You have my word, Sloth. Teach Mouse to be a bear and we will leave you be." She did not like talking with demons, but she did not wish to fight them either.
"Very well. Listen carefully..." Sloth stared at the small vermin and Mouse stared back. Lita felt uncomfortable as the two stared each other down. She thought she heard strange whispering, but it was gone as quickly as it came. It sounded absolutely horrendous to her ears, whatever little she heard of it. Mouse suddenly transformed into a normal-looking bear, while she was pondering if she was hallucinating.
"Like this?" he asked aloud. "Am I really a bear? Wow... It feels...
heavy." "Mmm... Close enough. Go then, and defeat your demon... or
whatever you intend to do. I grow weary of you, mortal."
The heavy creature known as Sloth laid down and closed its eyes, resuming its slumber as if it had never been disturbed. Lita did not want to be near it any longer, so she hurried along the remnants of the path. There was a clearing ahead. Mouse spoke to her, saying that is where the demon was going to appear. She took in a deep breath as she thought of her only way of surviving, of becoming a senior mage. This was her only way to get out.
