Sparkle and Shine

 

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AN:  Last chapter!  It doesn’t seem like we’ve been on this storyline for so long, but… wow.

 

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Kuromei: Daxter’s damn reality checks!  Knock it off, little redhead, and enjoy the sexings!  We’ll see if Jak can do his part to make Dax feel better.

 

Amaronith: First meeting of the Snuggle-the-Hell-out-of-Daxter Club will now commence.  Your services are very much appreciated, as always!

 

GoodMorningBeautiful2005:  Thanks so much!

 

Grimreaperchibi:  Yes, Jak remains forever hopeless in the inter/intra-personal communication department.  Don’t worry, though.  Dax may feel a little better by the end of this chapter.

 

Tainted_Emerald:  I guess I hadn’t really noticed any parallels between Talk to Me and this story, but you might have something there!  My subconscious at work…?  Anyway.  Things will indeed get hotter, and we’ll see if everything can be solved in one more chapter! 

 

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Characters: Belong to Naughty Dog, Inc.

 

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The first time the thought that he might be in over his head crossed Daxter’s mind, Jak was touching him in about five different places at once, and not with his hands. 

 

“Jak, that’s so weird,” he whimpered as he stared, fascinated and aroused. 

 

Two of the hero’s wing tendrils stayed wound around Daxter’s arms, keeping them stretched over his head.  Two caught him around the knees and kept his legs gently but firmly spread as he squirmed.  One petted his hair and face soothingly while another teased his mouth.  Yet another tendril’s tip had wrapped slyly around his erection and was stroking him easily.

 

It all boiled down to the kinkiest, most exotic bondage anyone had ever been subjected to, and the redhead didn’t know whether to be freaked out or more turned on than he ever had been before in his life.

 

“You don’t hafta hold me down, y’know!” he laughed breathlessly.  “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

 

Jak just smiled, his hands petting Daxter’s bare hips.  He didn’t seem at all concerned about the strangeness of it.  The various tendrils of his wings seemed to be a completely ingrained part of him in light eco-mode, and he had no trouble controlling each one separately.  He didn’t even seem to be using them on Daxter for any reason other than simple possessiveness.  He wanted to touch as much as possible; he had the means with which to touch a lot of his redhead all at once; and damn it, he was going to utilize it.

 

Knowing that the wings were sensitive to some degree, Daxter playfully stuck out his tongue and licked at the glowing tip closest to his mouth.  It twitched away as if in surprise, then came back friendlier than ever.  When it pressed to his lips in question, he let it slide in and gave an experimental suck that made Jak’s hands tighten on his hips.  One of those hands fell to the side and lifted the lid off the clay jar.

 

Dax gasped around his mouthful as fingers found his entrance, smearing the cold, pungent salve.  Precursors, this was it!  Jak was finally going to do it!  His friend had never even touched him there before, and now he was really going to—!

 

“Mmmph!”  Daxter squeaked in alarm as something that was definitely not fingers slipped inside him.  He tensed reflexively and spit out the wingtip in his mouth, but he was held tight from every angle.  “Hey, hey, hey!  Whoa!  What the heck are you doin’, Jak?!”

 

“Shh,” Jak soothed, leaning forward to kiss the redhead’s neck.  Each of the flexible tethers that secured Daxter led right back to the glowing figure over him like runway lights.  It was all a little surreal.

 

Daxter could feel how hot his face was as he tried to adjust to the feeling of having something inside him that he had no control over.  The wing tendril was much more bendy and giving than his own fingers, the few times he had tried them, and a heck of a lot longer.  Eavesdropping on conversations among the mostly-male population of Spargus didn’t really prepare for the reality of having something attached to his partner be inside him like that.

 

Jak’s lips on his neck got more insistent as the wingtip went deeper.  The redhead whimpered at the combined sensations.  He gasped outright as the twisting appendage brushed something inside that made him jerk in Jak’s hold.  So that was what that felt like… 

 

“Jak, buddy, I can feel yer eco—like, a lot!” 

 

The hero laughed quietly against his throat.  His hands ran all over Daxter’s chest and stomach while that damn wingtip stretched him out easier and deeper than any fingers could.

 

Ever since his first high-velocity encounter with dark eco Daxter had been overly sensitive to all forms of it.  He could feel it in his teeth when it was near, like electricity.  Even after Vin’s scientific genius had helped him regain his human form with concentrated light eco in a procedure that Jak hadn’t been told about until it was over, he had kept that affinity for eco.  And it was coming off Jak’s wings in little pulsing waves.  He mewled as that tingle touched him deep inside.

 

Jak made a concerned sound and palmed his face, looking worried. 

 

Oh, had his eyes rolled back?  Was it usually a bad thing to shudder and twitch and make noises like you were dying slowly?  “I’m okay, pal.  Really.  I’m so okay you wouldn’t believe it.” 

 

Was it even possible for someone so imbued with what the monks called a “blessed, holy power” to cause harm?  Daxter didn’t think so.  It was warm and cool, soothing and arousing at the same time.  He cried out as the tendril around his erection tightened—only to have the one stretching him slip out and away.

 

“Heeey,” he whined petulantly, struggling to somehow get it to come back.  Now that he was used to the strange sensation, it felt pretty damn good.  Good enough that he now understood why some of the biggest, baddest, manliest warriors in Spargus would hit their hands and knees for trusted companions without shame or hesitation.

 

He needn’t have worried about being left empty.  Something better came almost immediately.  Jak’s hips pressed between his legs, the slick head of his cock finding Daxter’s entrance as his lips found the redhead’s and his arms wrapped tight around a slim torso.  All the wing tendrils that weren’t around arms or legs retreated back behind Jak where they belonged, out of the way.  

 

Dax moaned into Jak’s mouth demandingly.  If the hero couldn’t figure out what that meant, the light eco was scrambling his brain more than Daxter had thought.

 

Kissing him back, just as hard, Jak shoved forward. 

 

“Oh, shit, Jak!”  He cried out in helpless joy, throwing his head back and jerking at the tendrils that held his arms over his head.  He had never felt anything so good. 

 

Jak shifted all at once, a smooth rock upwards.  His knees slid apart to brace as his wings effortlessly lifted.  Daxter’s back left the blankets and the fur before he had time to process what was happening.  In less than a moment he was literally suspended in the air, Jak behind him, Jak still buried inside him, gripping Daxter’s thighs to help maneuver him up and down.  Which he did.

 

“You kinky asshole!” Dax hissed, gritting his teeth as his prostate was hit every time Jak’s wings dropped him to meet the hero’s upward thrusts. 

 

Behind him, Jak nearly purred.

 

“Ah!  S-stop!  Let me down, Jak!”

 

To his credit, Jak went still at once.  Let him down?  Why?  Didn’t he enjoy it?

 

“I can’t see you, idiot,” Dax breathed, trying to hold onto a little control. 

 

The tendrils began to unwind almost as soon as the words left his mouth.  Dax grinned as his knees gently touched the fur again, and he let the retreating tips trail through his fingers in temporary farewell.  Then he turned and pounced willingly into Jak’s lap.  “Thanks, buddy.  Just… y’know.  First time, an’ all that.  Kinda wanted ta make it special.”

 

A glowing brow rose.  More special than wing-tentacle bondage?  But he was smiling as he wrapped his arms around the redhead again and held him close.

 

“Okay, back inside.”  Daxter reached down behind him with one hand to help the process along, groaning loudly as Jak’s head slipped back into him.  “Fuck, Jak, it feels so good!  Gimme all of it!”

 

Jak huffed heatedly in his ear and pulled Daxter further down onto his lap, seating himself deeper.  When Daxter’s arms went around his neck a wingtip wrapped around his wrists to keep them there, holding the two of them together even more firmly as Jak began to thrust.

 

Nirvana was the closest thing Daxter could think to compare this to.  Jak moved purposefully inside him.  His own shaft, pressed between their lower bellies, caught delicious friction.  Being held by strong arms and luminous wings that gave off the revitalizing zing of light eco just made him feel like he was wanted.  And of course he could see Jak’s face in this new position.  Sure glowing blues and whites covered the familiar deep blue eyes and green-gold hair, but everything else was still the same—his best friend.  The guy he loved like air and water and a warm place to curl up on a cold night.  The guy he’d let himself fall for, even though he’d always known that he would never be more to Jak than a wannabe-lover.  Dax shut his eyes against the sudden sting of tears.

 

Maybe this was his punishment for talking Jak into sex when he was eco-ed up and out of sorts, the redhead reflected as he nudged for a kiss and was promptly given one.  Now he had gotten a taste of how good it could really be.  And in the morning Jak would wake up and remember that Daxter wasn’t the one he really wanted.

 

“Keira’s gonna be… so lucky, pal.”  He whispered it against Jak’s shoulder as they rocked steadily, drawing out the pleasure of the moment.  “When she gets this all ta herself every night.  She better damn well appreciate it.  She better appreciate you.”  Because Daxter loved Jak more than anyone, but she won him in the end, won because she was a girl and she was hot and she was always meant to win this fight.

 

Jak’s hand was in his hair now, petting and clenching, combing through the red strands.  The other hand held steady on Daxter’s hip, helping him balance and occasionally sneaking back to give one pale cheek a squeeze.  He had leaned back further as Dax got bolder, giving the redhead room to ride him in earnest, and seemed to be enjoying it plenty despite any discomfort the squishing of his lowest wing tendrils might have caused. 

 

Daxter knew he should stop talking and just enjoy the moment, but being quiet any longer might just kill him, and Jak never had a very good memory the morning after an eco binge.  “Jak, if you ever wanna do this again—anytime, any damn time, I swear—I’m up for it.  We can still fool around, r-right?  Hell, I’d be yer little piece on the side, if you wanted, so you could come ta me when Keira gets how she gets—?”

 

He was babbling now, grasping pitifully, and he knew it.  Daxter made himself shut up, only whines and gasps escaping as he let Jak move his hips faster and deeper.  This wasn’t going to last much longer, and he was wasting time.  As if to confirm that, another wingtip came sneaking back around to worm between them and wrap around Daxter’s cock.  He panted against Jak’s ear, hazy-eyed with pleasure.  All he could do was cling to his bigger friend and grind down onto him as his climax snuck up, slowly but surely. 

 

“Nnn, Jak,” he whined as the hero kissed the hollow of his throat.  “I love you…”  Dax tensed as the soft admission left him, but a moment later he threw all caution to the wind.  Fuck it.  “Love you, Jak.  I love you, I love you—!”

 

“I love you too, Dax.”

 

The redhead’s eyes widened to roughly the diameter of a Dune Hopper’s back tire.  Then Jak’s tongue was in his mouth, the hands on his hips were forcing him down as Jak slammed up into him, and he was coming so hard he distinctly felt the droplets hit his upper chest.

 

When Jak came a few seconds later he seemed to let go of his light eco at the same time.  The wing tendril holding Daxter’s wrists and the one around his softening arousal uncoiled simultaneously as the light form started to dissolve.  Dax got a moment’s clear view of Jak’s face slack-jawed with his orgasm, blue eyes heavy-lidded as the white glow faded out of them.  Then the cave went dark.

 

Jak sighed audibly as they toppled back to the softness of the bedding.  His hand found a fluff of red hair in the dark and stroked through the damp strands.  A soft kiss got lucky and landed right on Daxter’s lips.  “You okay, Dax?”

 

Daxter was still for a long moment before he hauled off and swung as hard as he could in the general direction he imagined Jak’s hard head would be.  There was a thud and his knuckles suddenly felt like he had punched a brick wall.  Score!

 

“Oww!  What the hell was that for?”

“Asshole!” Dax snarled, slugging him in the head again.  “You absolute dick!  You knew what was goin’ on the whole time, didn’t you, and you STILL fucked me, and you let me keep TALKING, sayin’ all those stupid things—!”  He was so pissed he wanted to scream and cry and wring Jak’s neck.  At least it was dark enough to hide tears, if he did come unglued.

 

“Hey, stop it!”  Jak fumbled and got a hold of Daxter’s hands, preventing further attempts at causing brain damage.  “Yeah, I knew what was going on.  Being Light is a lot different than being Dark.  And I fu—uh, did that with you because we both wanted it.  What’s the matter?”

 

There were almost no words for that.  Almost.  “The matter is, you are a complete idiot,” Daxter hissed, trying to roll up in a ball.  He was humiliated, hurt, chilled, outed, his ass now felt weird, and he had cold, sticky junk all over his chest to add insult to injury.  “Leave me alone.”

 

Jak sighed, and a moment later a blanket draped over the redhead.  “Okay, maybe I am an idiot.  I should have let you know I was with it sooner, alright?  It’s just… I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you for three days, and it just wasn’t coming to me.  Then you wanted to… and you started talking while we… and then I REALLY didn’t know what to say, except the truth.”  He shifted under the blanket too, adding a little body heat.  “Forgive me?”

 

Daxter wasn’t listening.  “Wait a second.  You’ve been tryin’ to tell me something fer the whole time we’ve been out on this godsforsaken camping trip?  And you said you love me?  And you fucked me?”

 

“I’d really rather say I made love to—”

 

“What the hell, Jak?”  Daxter’s heart was pounding.  He wanted so badly to jump to a conclusion, but he didn’t want to fall on his face.  “What’re you tryin’ to say?”

 

“That I love you!”  Jak almost laughed.  “I thought I was being pretty obvious lately, but I guess not.”  His hand snuck back into Dax’s hair without fear of another smack.  “I’m glad I’ve got you with me no matter what, and that we take care of each other.  And now that all the crazy shit is done with we can finally just enjoy it, huh?”

 

Daxter took a deep breath.  “Then you don’t…  What about Keira?”

 

Daxter could almost see the funny look on his partner’s face, despite the lack of light.  “Keira?  You keep bringing her up, but what does she have to do with this?”

 

“You don’t want to get back together with her?” he whispered, trembling as Jak’s arm went over his waist and pulled him closer.

 

“Uh, Dax?  The last time I thought about Keira romantically was when we were still back home.”  Sandover, then.  “We were kids and a lot’s happened since then.  I’m not the guy she used to know.  She’s not the girl I used to know.  It would never work.  No offense, Dax, but you’re the master of romance, right?  I thought you would have been the first one to see that!”

 

The attempt at teasing just made Daxter feel faint.  Oh, gods.  Then…?   

 

“But you and me, we’re still so close.”  Feeling no resistance, Jak pulled the redhead completely against his body, all warmth and content.  “You’re always there for me.  You were the one who broke me out of prison, and you followed me into the wastelands when I was the one being exiled, not you.  Who else would ever do that?  You’re pretty amazing, Daxter.”

 

He was not going to cry.  He was not going to cry, and he was not going to laugh hysterically.  Instead he swallowed hard and burrowed into Jak’s arms.  “W-what brought this on, all’a sudden?”

 

“Getting my light eco powers,” Jak said softly, without hesitation.  “When I’m Light… it wipes away all the bad, Dax.  It’s like I can see perfectly.  I saw you.  You’re the best thing I’ve got.”

 

Aaand that was it.  His wimpy little heart was just going to bust with joy and relief and exasperation at himself for being an airhead about the whole thing.  Daxter snuggled unabashedly.  “Thanks, big guy.  Yer my best thing, too.  Sorry I hit you in the head.”

 

“Sorry I’ve been an uptight jerk for the past million months.”

 

The redhead chuckled tiredly.  “As long as yer mental see-saw is back in balance, all is forgiven.  Not that I blamed you in the first place, y’know.”

 

“I know.  One more reason I love you.”

 

Dax nearly purred.  He tucked his head under Jak’s chin, basking in the overall awesomeness of his night.  This was just alright with him.  “Know what?”

 

“What?”

 

“It thrills the absolute hell out’a me to know I’m the only person you wanna stick yer dick in.”

 

Jak coughed abruptly, and Daxter could feel the rush of heat down the green-blonde’s neck as he flushed.  “How about we get some sleep, huh?”

 

“Yeah, yeah.  Fine.”  He was smiling as he traced little circles on Jak’s arm.  “Only, in the morning, promise I’ll still be the one you picked?”

 

“I’ll wake you up with sex?” Jak offered.

 

“Deal!”

 

- // - // - // - // -

 

They watched the sun come up over the desert the next morning before heading back toward Spargus together.  They spent the ride laughing and joking, making rude remarks about Veger, and complaining cheerfully about the lack of a good radio station in the wastelands. 

 

Daxter was in high, high spirits.  “Y’know, Jak, after all that, the part’a me that hurts worst is my thigh muscles.  From all that up-and-down, I guess.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Jak chuckled.

 

“Yeah, that’s really it.  I guess we did okay for bein’ beginners, huh?”

 

“I’d say so.”

 

“Great!  That means we can do it again tonight in our own bed!”

 

Jak and his blush had no objections to that.  But the first thing they did when they reached the city later that evening, upon mutual agreement, was make their way to the healing hall to see Damas. 

 

“I wonder if he’ll be talking yet,” Jak mused as they walked the quiet halls.  “It’s been a few days.”

 

Dax grinned.  “He will if they’ve let him off the meds.  He was doped up gooood last time.  Can’t blame ‘em, I guess.  Even green eco can’t fix a mess like Damas was in overnight.”

 

“Yeah.”  Jak sighed and nodded.

 

Unthinkingly, Dax grabbed him by the hand and squeezed reassuringly.  “Come on, Jakkie-boy.  I bet he’s fine.  He’s probably wide awake an’ pissed that they won’t let him get up yet.  Think of it!  The King of Spargus, stuck in bed like a kid with the measles!  I don’t envy whoever’s in charge of takin’ care of that grumpy-pants.”

 

The lucky party on duty turned out to be Sig.  He was sitting on the edge of a chair at the side of Damas’s bed, wrists resting on his knees. 

 

Damas was indeed awake.  He seemed to be taking his confinement to the infirmary bed well enough, though.  He and Sig talked together in low tones.  Occasionally a smile would flit across one or the other’s face.  Sig leaned ever closer, ears and face at ease. 

 

Daxter peeked around the half open door first with Jak right behind him.  They glanced at each other bemusedly, wordlessly confirming what they saw, before Dax piped up cheerfully.  “Hey there!”

 

Sig stood up so fast his chair fell over backwards, catching on the window ledge with a bang.  “What—?!  Oh, cherries!  Back from your explore, I take it?”

 

Damas relaxed back against his pillow with an annoyed sigh.  His bandaged arm, formerly reaching for the gunstaff propped near the bed, fell back to the blanket.  “Hello, Jak.  Daxter.”

 

Jak cleared his throat.  “I hope we’re not interrupting anything?”

 

“No, not at all.”  Sig righted his chair, but didn’t sit back down.

 

“Of course not,” Damas grumbled.  He wore a wryly amused smile in the making, though.  “Well, don’t lurk in the threshold, get in here.  Let me take a look at the heroes who saved both my life and the world—or so Sig tells me.”

 

They situated themselves at the foot of the bed, leaning against the high headboard, so Damas wouldn’t have to sit up any further to see and converse with them.  He still had bandages wound tightly around his torso.

 

“Remind me to tell ya that story sometime, old man.”  Daxter grinned impudently.  “You were out fer all the good parts!”

 

“So I hear.”  Damas snorted.  “A fine help you two were, snatching me from the clutches of a glorious warrior’s death.  I could have died heroically in battle, and what do I have now?  Confinement and torture at the hands of my city’s own healers!  You have no idea the indignities I’ve been subjected to!”

 

“They say you can be up and about in two or three more days,” Sig began in a tone that said he had repeated the information umpteen times already. 

 

“You stay out of this, Sig.”

 

Daxter laughed.  “What’s this?  Is this the same guy who has mega problems showing positive emotion, jokin’ around?  Jak, I think we’re both delusional, and the world really did end!”

 

Jak smiled and relaxed.  That was good, Daxter thought. The hero hadn’t been able to feel exactly “casual” about hanging out at his injured father’s bedside, even if said man didn’t know about their familial bond yet.  Jak and Dax had concluded that it might be a good idea to let Damas get back on his feet before finding a way to bring up the conversation.  And when they did, Sig would be support on Jak’s side. 

 

Dax jumped a bit as Jak’s arm went around him.  His eyes widened, and he darted a look at Jak’s face.  Oh, boy.  Right here?  Right in front of Damas and Sig? 

 

Damas’s eyes narrowed.  “Straighten up, boy!” he barked.  “You look like a spooked lizard!”

 

“Huh?”  The redhead’s mouth fell open in amazement.

 

“There’s no shame in partnering with anyone who’s strong and resourceful enough to have you covered in battle—in any situation.  A good, strong partner is the best thing a warrior can have, even more so than a good weapon.  You and Jak have something special.  I saw it between you almost as soon as I saw you both conscious and interacting with each other.  You two are damn lucky to have that kind of bond, you know.  It takes some people their entire lives to find that.”

 

“Well aren’t you just the love guru all of a sudden?!” Daxter sputtered, bright red in the face.  Beside him Jak tried desperately not to laugh. 

 

Sig rolled his eyes to the ceiling.  “Oh boy…”

 

“Watch it, hothead,” Damas warned, sitting up on his elbows with a glower.  “I’m trying to give you serious advice.  I don’t do that for everyone, you know.”

 

“Oh, in that case, lemme just get out my pen an’ paper and take some notes.”

 

“You and I could very easily go head to head in the Arena, you insolent little—ah, damn it, why does that still hurt?!”

 

“Settle down, Damas, you’re going to pull out all your stitches!” Sig growled, trying to push the other man back to the pillows.

 

“I’m still in charge here, damn it all!” Damas roared, struggling to get up.  “I said you were the king if I died, and fortunately or unfortunately that hasn’t happened yet!”

 

“We better go.  We’ll see you tomorrow, Sig.  Damas.”  With a quick nod at the two so busy arguing that they didn’t even seem to notice him, Jak landed his hands on Daxter’s shoulders and steered him toward the door.  “Come on, troublemaker.  Let’s get out of here before the healers throw us out for instigating their most important patient to riot.”

 

“He totally started that, Jak.  You were there, you saw it!”

 

“Come ON, Daxter.”

 

They were a fair way down the hall before the redhead felt his first inkling of remorse.  Damas was Jak’s dad.  Jak and Dax were an actual item now.  He wanted Jak’s daddy to like him, not just tolerate him, when he realized that Daxter was for all intents and purposes his new son-in-law.  “Uh, hey, Jak?  Wait here.  I’ll be right back.”

 

“Alright.”  Jak nodded.  “Hurry, and try not to make anybody mad.”

 

Daxter jogged back down the hall.  A quick in, a quick apology for being a twerp when the old guy wasn’t well enough to deal with it, and back to Jak so they could get back home and rustle up some food before hot sex commenced.  However, he was entirely unprepared for what he saw when he stepped innocently into the room again.

 

“Whoa!” Daxter’s hand flew to cover his eyes.  Old dudes kissing was so not what he needed to see.  “Jeez, sorry!  I mean, I’m sorry I ticked ya off before, and I’m also sorry for walkin’ back in on—”

 

“Leave!” Damas demanded in a tone of immense frustration, his hand tightening on Sig’s shoulder as the other man sighed deeply.

 

“Gladly.”  Sweet Precursors, that was going to haunt his nightmares.

 

- - - - -

 

“What’s the matter with you?” Jak demanded as Daxter practically ran him down bolting back up the hallway.

 

“Okay, so, Jak?  Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but Sig an’ yer dad are totally back there makin’ out.  No lie, no joke, no shit.”

 

Jak’s ear twitched and his face developed a funny expression.  “Uh… really?  Wow.”

 

“Yeah, I know, right?  Old guys.  Love lives.  Does not compute!”  Daxter shook his head slowly.  “Yikes.  Well, anyway.  I guess the only thing ta do is repress the images that just got burned into my brain and get back home, huh?  I want a shower, and a sandwich.  Oh, and sex.  Lots of that.”

 

“Is that all?  Isn’t there anything else you want, Daxter?” Jak asked playfully as they strolled toward the door, elbows knocking.  “A foot massage?  A martini?  A royal ass-whipping for driving me and everybody within a mile-wide radius crazy?”

 

“Did you just threaten to spank me?” Daxter demanded, grinning hugely.  “I never knew you were so kinky, Jak!  Then again, after that whole wing tentacle thing last night?  I totally should’a guessed.”

 

“Shut up.”  Jak blushed, but he was smiling.

 

“You know you love me.”



“Yeah, Dax.  Yeah I do.”

 

- // - // - // - // -

 

The end.

 

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(2^nd)AN:  I really do think Damas would approve of them.  Jak has a capable (if insolent) partner that will kill or die for him and always be by his side.  What more could a warrior want for his son?  Anyway.  I really enjoyed writing this arc, and I hope everyone enjoyed it.

 

Outtakes!

 

- - - - -

 

Dax: So I was totally right about yer dad an’ Sig, huh Jak?

 

Jak:  Yeah, I guess so.

 

Dax:  Do you think they… y’know?



Jak:  I really don’t want to think about it, actually.

 

Dax:  I wonder who’s on top…

 

Jak:  DAXTER!!

 

- - - - -

 

Precursor Monk:  Lady Seem!  Someone has violated our most venerated meditation cave!

 

Seem:  Who would dare do such a thing?  Allow me to concentrate, and I will attempt to use the spiritual energy of the cave to identify the— 

 

Precursor Monk:  Lady Seem?  Are you alright?

 

Seem:  I do apologize to the Order, but I’m afraid that my spiritual sight is on the fritz.  It’s telling me that Jak abused his blessed gift of light eco to engage in exotic acts of physical affection with his partner.

 

Precursor Monk:  Well, seeing as how someone has written some very explicit new scenes into our wall mural romance novel, that seems to be correct.

 

Seem: … I’m taking a vow of silence now.

 

Light Jak:  //Here’s your holy power of light eco, baby!//  *pelvic thrust*

 

- - - - -

 

Dax:  Y’know, Jak, I’ve been feelin’ kinda funny lately.

 

Jak:  Yeah?

 

Dax:  Yeah.  And I gotta tell ya.  If you managed to somehow get me pregnant with yer mutant super-powered light eco sperm, I swear to the Precursors I’ll—!

 

Jak:  Daxter, that’s silly.

 

Dax:  Yeah, I guess yer right.  Sorry.  Just thinkin’ the worst, I guess.

 

Jak:  Besides, I think you’d make a great mother.  And then there’s my duty as the crown prince of Spargus to provide an heir to the throne.  You know, Dax, now that I think about it, maybe we should TRY to get you preg—

 

Dax:  I will kill you, Light Boy.  Kill you DEAD.

 

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