Parallax

A/N: This chapter took a while to get out. I’m pleased with the results, and I hope you all are as well. It's one of the longest I've written, I think.
I believe that the Normandy has more to it than the game shows. Where are the showers? And the number of sleeper pods and mess hall seats compared (8 for both) to the number of crew is a little off (30, aliens included). I don’t know… I just think it has to be bigger to facilitate actual living. And! And! I know people write about a food dispenser, but where the hell is that? O.O I have the game out now, and I do not see anything that looks even remotely close to being able to do such a thing. That being said, my Normandy has showers in it as well as other necessities. Deal plz :D

Warning! This chapter contains sappy friendship fluff! And Kaidan has sex with himself!

A partially emptied bottle of vodka plunked down on the floor of the Normandy, its contents sloshing around merrily before settling. The hand holding said bottle lazily slid off of its neck, a greasy trail left in its wake. Both parties decided to scandalously drink in the ship they presided over in order to avoid gossiping reporters and questioning civilians. The crew came back tomorrow evening, and they figured this would be the best possible empty place to hide in the meantime.

Shepard looked up at her Lieutenant, showing him the same lazy smile that she had acquired since her intoxication previously that night. He was equally inebriated. The reserved Lieutenant smiled down at his Commander, his honey-brown eyes hazy from alcohol. He was never good at starting conversations; Shepard broke the silence.

“I vote to just play along with this ridiculous rumor and make an ass of everyone that assumes we’re together,” she slurred, her lopsided grin making his heart skip an inexplicable beat.

“Whatever you do, I will follow,” Kaidan replied. He was never good at insisting that he was right unless there was an explicit reason to insist so. Shepard was charismatic and he was reserved; surely she would deal with these sudden rumors with the utmost charm. And if that didn’t work, the Commander could just intimidate them into accepting the truth. They weren’t together and God help the pathetic soul that assumed such. She’d punched people in the face for much less. Both thought the same way:

They were just very close friends, weren’t they?

Kaidan didn’t want to think about the implications of what he was doing. Already, his brain added up that he had a supposed “affair” with his CO, brought contraband on board the vessel that he was in partial authority of, and currently, was lazing about with said CO on said vessel, not sure if he was able to stand and walk without stumbling. He laughed to himself. Never had he thought he’d be in this situation. Shepard made even the most outrageous things out to be mere diversions for her eccentric tastes.

“What was that thing?” Shepard’s voice sliced through the Lieutenant’s thoughts. “Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you live I will live,” she paused, trying to remember what came next. What he said earlier made her think of something she heard recited at a friend’s wedding.

“Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried,” he interjected, skipping a line. Their eyes met as he continued. “I mean it Shepard; I will follow you to the ends of the universe.”

Her eyes softened at his declaration. In uncertain times like these, it was good to have a friend like Kaidan as a steady constant. She leaned in to put her head on his shoulder. Somehow, she knew with him by her side, everything would be alright.

“Best friends?” she asked, looking up at him with shining eyes. Alcohol turned her into a sentimental fool at times.

He chuckled. “Yes, best friends, Shepard.” He moved his head to rest on top of hers.

Shepard sighed and leaned further in to the Lieutenant, allowing his strong body to catch the brunt of her weight. When he encircled her in his arms a thought came to her mind: If they were best friends, then why did she have the sudden urge to kiss his cheek? She shook her head out of these thoughts and tried to lighten the mood.

“You know,” Shepard chuckled, “I think the Normandy might get jealous. She and I do have a thing going on…”

“Well, wherever she dies, we will surely die,” Kaidan replied, his rich laughter following his declaration.

“Then we ought to toast to her health,” Shepard raised the bottle in salute to the prototype ship before taking a generous swallow. She passed the bottle to her Lieutenant who did likewise. He exhaled with a laugh; she shot him a confused look.

“Shepard, about last night…” he began, “did we toast the Mako???”

Shepard laughed outright, barely remembering the slurred toast to the wondrous vehicle. They often did ridiculous stunts in it to pass the time traveling across terrain that was monotonous and riddled with rocks good for launching the vehicle high in the air. They also liked to use the thrusters to hop over enemy rockets. It was quite a convenient little maneuver. Without a doubt, it was time to toast the Mako once again.

The bottle was raised and emptied.

_________________________________________________________

Slowly, Shepard gained consciousness and awareness of her surroundings. The Spectre decided that she was very wise to drink as much water as her stomach could hold before she went to bed. Her head didn’t hurt and neither did her stomach. It was a good morning. Shepard’s clothing was intact, minus her boots. There was also a warm body next to her and something inexplicably hard pressed up against her backside. Her eyes shot open when she realized who and what was behind her. Shepard blinked a few times to collect herself. It wouldn’t do any good for her to be caught embarrassed again by the man pressing himself against her. She scooted forward, rolled over to face her Lieutenant and socked him in the arm.

“Good morning, Woody,” her monotonous voice floated across the bed as Kaidan yelped in surprise at being hit. He opened his eyes and sat up, his tousled hair resembling the fluffy, formless down of a dark newborn chick.

“What was that for?” he asked while rubbing his pulverized arm.

“What do you think, Woody?” she countered, narrowing her eyes at him in mock anger. His subsequent blush showed that he figured out why he had been awoken so violently. The Lieutenant found himself unable to look his Commander in the eye. Shepard burst out laughing at the sight of the battle hardened marine acting like a school boy. They’d been in awkward situations before, but this one took the cake.

“I-I think I’m just going to go now,” he said as he slowly scooted off the edge of the bed, putting as much effort as possible into hiding his morning erection. Kaidan sulked from the Captain’s quarters, duly mortified as Shepard continued to laugh at the situation.

The whole thing was hilarious once one got over the initial shock. Here they awoke, snuggled up in her bed like lovers when the world thought they were. And they weren’t. But they were always permissive with each other; it was only natural that their friendship progress to cuddling. They had been through so much together. Besides, they had been drinking the previous night, and Shepard knew that she, for one, was very likely to get touchy when she drank. That, and Shepard was and always would be one of the guys. Last night was dude time. Really.

No, waking up in each other’s arms meant nothing.

Thus satisfied with her internal deduction, Shepard readied herself for the return of her crew. There was much to do, and less time to do it in.

______________________________________


Kaidan found himself slowly calming down after the embarrassing incident as he walked to the shower. All things considered, it would have been hilarious if the person with the erection in question wasn’t him. Then again, he knew he couldn’t help it, and he was pretty sure Shepard knew that too.

“Dammit!” he cursed when he realized that Shepard was feigning anger to tease him again. He wondered what the hell it was about her that made him completely stupid. Kaidan was extremely smart and witty, but Shepard completely destroyed all of his common sense. He sighed and shrugged it off. Most likely it was “man around beautiful woman” syndrome. Shepard was, after all, very attractive, and he wasn’t the first one to admit it. Kaidan walked in on many conversations about the Normandy’s gorgeous CO. Yes, Shepard’s combination of brains and beauty must have been what continually made the Lieutenant stupid around her.

Kaidan undressed and stepped into the shower, his mind only partially satisfied with the answer it provided. He cowered as the shower automatically turned on, its frigid water not yet warmed. The purpose of an automatic shower with a personnel sensor was to save water, but it sure was horrible for the first minute before it warmed up. Shepard was damn lucky that she could wait for her shower to warm up. There were so many Captain’s privileges.

He began to clinically wash himself, trying desperately to ignore the fact that despite the sudden, horrendous blast of cold water did little to abate his masculine issues. His thoughts wandered to when the crew would return to the Normandy for further daring exploits in saving the universe. Those whom he was able to acquaint himself with would be returning this evening. It was one of those cases where a coworker became a comrade, and comrades made for the closest of friends. Though, apparently, there would also be a few new faces as well. Getting them settled in was sure to be interesting. It was always funny to see people’s reactions to Shepard’s appearance. She was truly a beauty beyond compare.

Kaidan readied soap on his hand and looked down at his still erect manhood. He had put this off in hopes that the damned thing would go down. Such was not the case.

“What do you want now?” he questioned the rigid organ.

It twitched in response. The Lieutenant knew what he wanted, but was loathed to relinquish such control. His hand encircled his manhood, gently running down the length. He gasped at the first contact.

It had been a while since he last did this. There wasn’t usually enough privacy to facilitate such things, and Kaidan was never one to hook up with random women on leave. Why not indulge this time?

His hand began to languidly pump the hypersensitive organ, the soap working itself into a bubbly lather. This was bliss. Increasing his pace, the Lieutenant’s other hand went down to massage his balls. In the warm steam of the shower, his hot breath left his mouth in short pants to fall with the cascading water. He began to rapidly pump his hand over his need; he bit his lip to keep from groaning out loud. It became too intense. Kaidan removed his hand quickly.

His demanding cock was rigidly defiant after the hand left. Within seconds though, the wanton organ throbbed with the loss of contact. Kaidan backed into the shower wall, his hand resting on his stomach. Slowly, the hand ran a soapy trail down his abs to once again meet up with his swollen cock. He began to firmly stroke and gave up on suppressing his moans. The sounds of falling water were soon accompanied with the slick sound of his hand rapidly pumping his enflamed organ and strained panting.

He let out a sharp gasp as his whole body tensed in anticipation. Finally, the Lieutenant fell over the blissful edge into oblivion, his being thrumming in time with his spurting manhood. Unbidden, Shepard’s name came to his mind and fell from his lips in a strained gasp. The throbbing slowed until all that remained was his pounding heart and satiated grin. Reality set in quickly.

He huffed when he realized that he had been thinking of Shepard in a very inappropriate manner. What was wrong with him lately? Yesterday’s news must have gotten into his head. Kaidan finished washing and exited the shower. He had only a few hours to prepare for the arrival of the crew.

_______________________________________________


Hours later, the crew began to trickle in, though nobody dared to be late. Kaidan situated himself in the cockpit and kept Joker company while they waited for Shepard to arrive. In the time that the Lieutenant had been showering, Shepard disappeared and hadn’t been back since. It made the man slightly nervous.

Finally, the sound of the Normandy’s door opening reached the crew’s ears. Shepard entered the ship, a small unopened bottle of potent alcohol in her hand. She held it against her leg to where the crew wouldn’t see it from the side as she walked. Only he and Joker would be privy to Shepard’s indiscretion. Kaidan shook his head. This was typical Shepard behavior, always breaking the rules.

Shepard made her way to the intercom button; the crew that saw her entrance waited in anticipation of what this legendary woman would have to say.

“Listen up, Normandy,” her voice pervaded the ship. “This is your Captain speaking. I’m not very good at speeches. In fact, I’m not very commanderly at all.” Her voice trailed off as she mentally debated if commanderly was a word or not. She shook the thought from her head and continued. “There are many on board that have been here before. Welcome back. For those of you who don’t know how we operate here, you’ll learn soon enough. The Norman…” Shepard paused briefly to swallow, “is a wonderful ship and a great atmosphere to work in. Don’t fuck it up.”

“Um, Commander,” Joker piped up, his voice audible through the ship’s speakers, “the last I heard, the ship wasn’t called the Norman.”

Shepard blinked innocently before realizing her mistake. “Sorry, I swallowed when I was saying Normandy.”

“Was it good?” Kaidan’s voice floated across the intercom. Shepard apparently hadn’t removed her hand from the button. He was immediately horrified at what he said for the whole crew to hear.

“Not as good as you,” Shepard quipped, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. The crew sat in stunned silence. Apparently the rumors on the news were true. The Commander and the Lieutenant had a forbidden affair with each other.

The tense silence was interrupted by the sound of the Normandy’s door opening once again. Admiral Hackett’s voice floated through the air, along with the voice of Councilman Anderson. Shepard looked down at the bottle of alcohol in her hand and frantically scrambled to find a place to hide it. No places revealed themselves. The Commander panicked as the sound of footsteps drew closer.

Kaidan stood up and Shepard hastily shoved the small bottle of contraband down the front of his pants.

“Ah!” his face flamed in indignation. “Shepard, no!”

It was too late. Hackett and Anderson appeared right after the Lieutenant’s outburst. He wiltingly saluted them, hoping to God that neither would look down. Everything seemed to be going well.

“We just came to see you off,” Hackett’s raspy voice brought Kaidan out of his horrified stupor. “We wish you well and I wanted to let you know that…” Hackett’s eyes widened. “Jesus Christ, Lieutenant.” He was eyeing the impossibly large bulge in Alenko’s pants. Shepard turned red, fearing that she’d be caught.

“It’s like a small ferret, sir,” she interjected, only caring that she wasn’t caught with contraband on her ship.

Hackett mumbled something about inhuman biotics and excused himself, hauling a paled Anderson along with him. Shepard turned to Joker and directed him to get the Normandy out of port and not to speak of what he just saw to anyone. She turned to Kaidan, realizing that all eyes were on them and that she had to safely get her booze to her quarters. Her hand snaked its way into the crook of his elbow and she led him down the center of the ship to the stairway on the far end. Whispers of forbidden sexual exploits followed in their wake, the female crew members’ faces turning red as they tried to not stare at the well-endowed Lieutenant’s package; the male crew members looked on in awed reverence.

They finally reached Shepard’s quarters. Kaidan found himself somehow alive after the worst walk of shame in his life.

“I’m sorry about that,” Shepard flashed him a stunning smile. “I’ll share some with you for putting up with my carelessness.” She reached into his pants for the bottle, staring him directly in the eyes. His mouth went dry at her boldness.

He finally found his voice as she safely tucked the bottle away. “Woman, you’re going to turn me into a drunk.”

“Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing,” she quipped, her hips swaying as she walked up to him. Shepard’s dangerous eyes challenged him to contradict her.


“No, I guess not,” he smirked. This woman would surely be the death of him.