Control

A/N Yay another chapter. That’s two in two days…go me!
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used in this story, I’m just playing with them. I make no monies from this either…mores the pitty!!!!!!!!

Chapter Three
Soldier, Soldier.

“I found her.” Leon called as he walked in through the door. He seemed excited and pleased with himself, a smile plastered across his face as he waved a piece of paper under Cloud’s nose. Cloud just looked back at him, his face blank with not understanding.

“It took me the best part of a week and it wasn’t easy but I found her Cloud!” Leon exclaimed again his face positively beaming as he shook the piece of paper again for emphasis.

“What, you found who?” Cloud asked standing up from the couch taking the paper. He scanned the name and address written on the otherwise blank parchment and he swore his heart nearly stopped beating for a moment or two. He read it twice and then three times before he turned a wide eyed stare at Leon, who was grinning back at him.

“How… I don’t…How did you get this?” he asked looking back at the name again just to be sure he wasn’t dreaming. He felt his legs and hands start to shake at the possibilities of what this meant.

“Does it matter?” Leon asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I don’t believe it, she’s alive?” Cloud asked as his legs finally gave way and he sat back down on the couch with a plop.

“Alive as anyone can be, she’s living with an old couple on the other side of the city.” Leon replied as he took a seat next to the young blond.

“Tifa? I…I don’t know what to say, I…” Cloud trailed off as he re read Tifa’s name and address scribbled across the page in Leon’s fine script for the tenth time. He turned to the man sat next to him and looked at him with wild unbelieving eyes. Cloud saw the excitement in Leon’s face and the genuine pleasure at having given him something that he had longed for made Cloud’s heart twist in an agonizing happiness. His face dropped into an earnest expression before he looked back at the paper. “Thank you.”

Turning back to Leon he leaning in and planted a solid kiss onto his lips, bringing his hand up to cup the back of Leon’s head to make sure that it was deep enough to convey what he meant. It was the most initiative that Cloud had ever shown with Leon and the Commander was taken aback by it for a second. The kiss was strong and full of meaning but it was short. After a couple of seconds Cloud pulled away, his eyes catching Leon’s and the way they held a surprised but exultant look in them. They both shared a coy smile before Cloud turned back to the paper, his cheeks burning a soft pink.

Leon cleared his throat, fidgeting with his trouser leg as he struggled to gain control over a sudden burst of glee that erupted in his chest. Running a hand through his hair he stood up and walked into the kitchen, hoping to regain some composure. “Would you like a drink?” he called giving himself a reason to be in there. Cloud didn’t answer at first and when Leon popped his head round the door he found Cloud staring intently at the piece of paper, but not really seeing it.

“Cloud?” he asked as he took a step back into the room. “Cloud, are you alright?”

Cloud sighed heavily and frowned as he turned questioning eyes upon Leon.

“You said she was living with an old couple?” he asked his voice loaded with apprehension.

“Yeah, on the other side of town.” Leon Said.

“Is she a slave then, like me?” Cloud asked looking away as he said the word.

“Yeah but, these guys are really nice, so I’m told. Not like…” Leon trailed off as he wondered back to the couch and perched right on the edge, knowing what he had almost said even though it was still too late. He had already said enough.

“Not like me huh?” Cloud finished for him. He put the piece of paper to one side and gave it one last cautionary glance before staring intently at the carpet. “What am I supposed to say to her?” he asked his voice low and hushed. “I…I can’t…” he seemed to be struggling to find the right words to describe his sudden jet lag of happiness from just moments before. “I can’t bring her into this, it would be best if I didn’t contact her. I can’t risk her life anymore than I am doing.” He finally said after a pregnant pause.

“What do you mean?” Leon asked shuffling closer, concern written all over his face at Cloud’s sudden mood swing. “What do you mean ‘risk her life any more than you already are doing’?” the confusion more than apparent as Leon picked up the discarded address and checked it over just to make sure that there really hadn’t been anything else on there to make Cloud change his mind so rapidly. “Cloud?” he pushed after several seconds of silence.

“It doesn’t matter; I just shouldn’t contact her okay?” Cloud snapped back, wanting that to be the final word on it. He stood and made to walk over to the bedroom, hoping to get some space from the suddenly icy tension in the room.

“Don’t walk away, I asked you a question!” Leon snapped back as he too stood up and made to follow him.

“And I said it didn’t matter.” Cloud answered knowing that this would end in only one of two ways. He hoped that it would be his way. He walked through into the bedroom and shut the door behind him, hoping that it would stay shut but knowing it wouldn’t. As predicted Leon stormed through it, sending the door slamming into the wall.

“Don’t fucking walk out on me. Answer the God dammed question.” He barked throwing the piece of paper at Cloud’s feet.

“Is that an order, Master?” He stressed the last word hoping to hit a sore spot with the Commander, anything to divert attention away from the point. The look of rage that came over Leon’s face at the insult made Cloud feel sick. He wished in that second that he could take it back and say something placating instead, but he stood his ground refusing to back down and apologies.

Leon came at him then, his steps hard and sure footed. His face was pale with rage and his eyes held a glint of well controlled malice. Cloud backed up but wasn’t quite fast enough as Leon reached him and gripped him round the neck, forcing him into the wall behind him. Leon shoved him with such force that Cloud smacked his head against the dry wall, stars exploding behind his closed eyelids. The hand around his throat tightened and his eyes shot open to see Leon almost snarling at him.

“Don’t ever call me that. Don’t ever compare me to HIM!” He hissed. “Do you understand?” he was practically shaking Cloud; his grip was vice like as his fingers nearly crushed the younger man’s windpipe. Cloud reached up and tried to pry Leon’s fingers away from him but he was strangling him so hard. Cloud knew he had to do something before he passed out. He couldn’t believe that this was Leon in front of him, he was on the verge of closing his eyes and denying the whole thing, but another tight squeeze to his throat convinced him otherwise. He let out a chocked cry as he still tried to grapple with Leon. Aiming as carefully as he could Cloud took a swing with his knee and hit Leon hard in the crotch. Leon instantly let go, doubling over in pain as he stumbled back and fell hard onto his ass. His face was strained with the sudden unexpected pain as he cupped himself, trying hard to take a breath into his winded lungs.

Cloud crumpled to the floor, his breath coming in choked gasps as he hacked in huge lungful after lungful of air. He rubbed at his bruised neck ripping hard at the collar of his tunic, feeling like it was still choking him. He coughed violently as tears of shock and pain began to sting his eyes. The sudden overwhelming panic of realizing he had almost been choked to death made his heart flutter and the threatening tears actually begin to fall. A flood of fear, panic and betrayal came over him then as he realized the full extent of what had just happened and he could hardly bring himself to think. ‘Leon had gotten angry with him and tried to hurt him.’ His heart was stinging with treachery and confusion as he struggled to clear his vision and look about himself. ‘How could Leon do that?’

After a few moments more cloud’s breath came easier to him and he mustered the strength to pull himself over to the bathroom and hastily shut the door behind him. Locking it he turned and lent against it, bracing himself up on shaking legs that threatened to give way at any second. He wasn’t sure how long he spent in there but the next thing he heard was the front door slamming and the apartment was silent again. Relief flooded through him as he realized that Leon had left and he sank to the floor, folding into himself as he let the massive feelings of sudden loneliness and emptiness envelop him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A knock at the bathroom door was the next thing that Cloud heard and it took him a few seconds to realize that he had fallen asleep. Still sat in the same position, he knew that he had been there for some time as he whole body ached. Shaking his fuzzy head his thoughts were thick as if trying to think through cotton wool, his vision blurred and his head pounded. Another knock sounded, this time tentative and unsure.

“Cloud?” a hesitant voice sounded through the wood. A few seconds passed before Leon called out to him again. “Cloud, are you in there?”

Cloud shakily got to his feet, feeling his muscles stretch and ache in protest. He lent his forehead against the door almost as if the wood wasn’t just shoring up his body but his whole being, bolstering him for what was to come.

“Cloud, please…Answer me.” Leon pleaded.

Cloud tried to make his voice work but his throat was sore and tight. It was almost as if an invisible hand was still wrapped tightly around it, refusing to let him speak. He tried harder, pushing through the pain to call out in a scratchy gravelly voice. “I’m here.” He was still lent heavily against the door, his eyes closed in concentration, as his world around him wavered and hazed. None of it seemed real, his troubled sleep still clinging to him even as he tried to shake himself into wakefulness.

“Cloud, I….I’m so sorry I…” Leon’s voice was muffled through the door and to Cloud’s sleep fuddled brain he could hardly concentrate on it.

“Please Cloud, can you just come out? So I can talk to you properly.” Leon pleaded hoping that whatever it was that he had done, whatever damage he had caused, he could rectify it before it was too late. There was more silence as Leon feared that Cloud would never talk to him again. He feared that the younger man would never look him in the eye or even worse would never trust him again. Leon didn’t know what he would do with himself if he knew he had caused that. A few more agonizing seconds passed before he heard the lock snap back and the handle being turned. He stepped away from the door, not knowing what he would be greeted with when it opened.

Leon swore quietly to himself as Cloud emerged from behind the door, leaning on the handle and door frame for support as he tentatively stepped out. His head was lowered; his face half obscured from sight by his long blond bangs but even from this angle Leon could tell that he looked like shit. The collar of his tunic was ripped and underneath it, peeking out from the rough grey fabric were finger shaped bruises and bright red marks that contrasted sharply with Cloud’s pale skin.

“Oh God, I…..I’m so sorry Cloud.” He all but whispered. His heart was so heavy with his guilt that it felt like he couldn’t breathe. He took a step towards the young man and to Cloud’s credit he didn’t move, he just clung on the door handle, his knuckles turning white with the strain of being upright. Leon was within touching distance and as he reached out to take Cloud’s pale face into his hand he saw Cloud flinch away from him just ever so slightly before relenting and allowing the gentle contact. He tilted the blonds’ face to look at him, but Cloud’s eyes were averted, looking everywhere but at Leon.

“Cloud, please look at me, I’m so sorry.” He repeated again.

“I know you are.” Cloud rasped out, his voice husky and broken. “’ts okay.” He placated as he removed his face from Leon’s grip. He walked unsteadily around the Commander aiming for the bed, feeling too bone weary to continue standing up any longer. “Can we just sleep now?...I’m tired.” He said simply as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Not until I’ve explained.” Leon replied firmly, crouching down in front of Cloud trying to regain some sort of eye contact.

“Please Leon, I just want to sleep.” Cloud pleaded.

“No listen to me, I… I don’t know what came over me. I just… I just couldn’t control it.” Leon began, hoping that at least some of this was getting through to Cloud. He looked about ready to fall asleep where he sat. Leon placed his hands on Cloud’s legs, covering his trembling fingers hoping that the contact would force some concentration.

“I just got so angry; I thought you thought I was like him… I just wanted…I don’t know. I just saw red.” There was only silence from Cloud as he lifted his eyes to look at the Commander, his gaze accusatory and harsh as something clicked behind his dull blue eyes.

“Please don’t think I’m like that, I don’t know why I did it.” Leon tried to reason but he knew there was no reasonable excuse for what he had done. Or at least he thought there was none.

“No…you’re just a Soldier, that’s all.” Cloud said, his voice low and lifeless but yet still full of emotion and disappointment.

Leon shook his head at the stinging comment. He refused to believe that that was all there was too it. He refused.

“No, I’m not like that…I promised.” He reminded Cloud.

Cloud sighed and wondered if he was going to get any sleep at all. “Well then I was right wasn’t I? I guess you can’t make that kind of promise.” His voice was coming to the end of its use and he swallowed thickly against the pain.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’d rather it be you than him.” Cloud pulled away from the Commander and lay down on the bed; too tired to even get under the covers he closed his eyes and waited for sleep. The last thing he heard was Leon closing the door behind him, leaving Cloud alone in the thick welcoming darkness.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

He awoke again some hours later to the feeling of someone running fingers through his hair. A body was pressed up against his back and as he sent his fuzzy gaze about the room he saw it was still swallowed up in the shadows of night. He let out a soft noise almost like a grunt and he shifted a little, liking the feeling of the gentle fingers massaging his scalp.

“Cloud?” he barely heard Leon whisper.

“Hum?” he hummed in reply, feeling like this night would never end and he would be forever stuck in a loop of tiredness and a groggy dull ache.

“If you think Tifa is in trouble then you need to tell me.” He whispered as he continued to sooth the young man, placing a small kiss to the back of his head. Cloud winced as Leon caught the spot where he had hit his head against the wall but he didn’t say anything. “I can help her. I can help you.” Leon said pulling himself closer to the body in front of him.

“No you can’t, but its okay.” Cloud replied sleepily.

“Yes I can. Just tell me what I need to do.” Leon pleaded placing more butterfly kisses on Cloud’s neck hoping to softy take away the damage he had done.

“Nothing…Just…when the time comes, just stay away.” Cloud said, the dull ache moving to his heart as he realized what he was saying. There was a heavy silence then as Leon hoped that Cloud wasn’t suggesting what he thought he was.

“What?” he asked not wanting the answer.

“When he comes back, just stay away. That’s all you have to do.” Cloud finally said as he gripped tightly to the hand that had encircled him. He pulled it to his chest and hoped that he would never have to let go.

Leon’s heart was thundering in his chest and he was sure that Cloud could feel it.

“I won’t do that… I can’t.” he said his soft voice full of anguish.

“I know…”

No more was said as Cloud fell back into a dreamless sleep, Leon soon following him.

A/N OMG I’m such a bitch! Where the hell did that come from I wonder? Neh who cares….woop!
Hope this update was juicy and lovely for you all. I’m off on my Hols on Thursday but I am taking my laptop with me so hopefully I will get another chapter up in the next two weeks. However if I’m having far too much fun to post then don’t yell!
Enjoy!