Promises

As always; reviews are much appreciated, but not necessary. I'm not the kind of author who won't continue writing because I'm not getting reviews; although I wouldn't mind some insight on how you guys think this is going so far. Also, this story is based upon the Jak II storyline but probably won’t follow it exactly (I think that would be rather boring…) and the characters will be a little OoC to fit the story. And flames are also welcome, as long as you justify why. For example, if you think the story sucks that’s fine, but please tell me why. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and though I may not always agree, I'm willing to listen….

Just a note on how I've represented words spoken and thought for this chapter:


"blahblahblah" words spoken aloud


"blahblahblah" inner thoughts


"blahblahblah" Dark Jak's thoughts (though Jak doesn't know what he is just yet)

Hope you enjoy this next chapter!


Chapter 3: Emotions Through A Purple Haze (this chapter is from Jak’s point of view)

Pain.

That single word can never be enough to describe the ultimate suffering of a thousand knives…

...No, not a thousand. I can't even begin to fathom a number large enough…

Knives that penetrate my tender flesh and rip through my circulatory system as they destroy everything in their path. A torturous stream of pain that twists and morphs my body and mind into something…different. Evil.

I've come to know, and fear, that pain very well. Again, I scoff at the sound of the word. It seems too soft and secure; a word fit for my home when a stray lurker scraped its nails across my arm or that time when Dax and I got too close to that wampbees' nest…the sting didn't dissipate for a week…

"Dax…Daxter…" through the familiar purple haze burning at the edges of my memories I relive the past, trying to shut out the torture they inflict upon me every few days in a vicious cycle that never changes….Always hoisted roughly to my feet, then pushed and prodded by the electrified staffs as they lead me, too weak at the moment to struggle, to the table…that horrible, cold device….

My back arches as another wave of eco rushes through my veins and I struggle against the unyielding shackles; they are the only thing keeping me from flying off the table and ripping apart the ones responsible for my suffering.

My nails gouge into the cold steel underneath my shuddering body, leaving behind a trail of rough, jagged scratch marks that are filled with blood and metal shavings. Some catch under my nails and embed within the skin underneath. I do not feel them as the pain is too great, but they will be there; waiting for me to find later as I huddle within my cell. I'll dig them out with my teeth and spit them across the cold, hard floor as I wonder once again how such a thing is possible for a mere mortal to accomplish.

My throat burns from the tortured screams that rip from deep within. At first I tried to hold it in; I'd never spoken before and I didn't want the ones who tortured me to have the satisfaction of hearing me scream….

….But it HURT….

Hurt so very much that there needed to be some outlet for the pain….and the outlet became my voice.

My voice; something I had no need of in Sandover, where I grew up young and carefree….free from any sort of danger until Gol and Maya came and even then their reign of evil, or whatever you want to call it, never drew more than the occasional grunt or exclamation of "ouch!" from my lips.

And that voice was different…it fit my life as it was….innocent and carefree…so unlike the voice I hear now….the voice screaming in utter agony…

….and the voice I hear when I mutter to myself in my cell at night because there is no one else to talk to….

It's deeper, harsher, and colder. Fitting for this place and yet so unfitting for a young, lighthearted country boy; so unlike the innocent youth I was…

Once…long ago. No more am I that boy….and I curse it….

I curse the hollow man I've become and the reasons for my weakness and failure to fight anymore…shame burns my cheeks….but I can't think of that right now…of him and his own twisted sense of punishment…

"Dax..." it's amazing how a simple, three letter word can be so comforting…even as my back arches again and I feel the tattered remains of my sanity fray and fall apart in one fatal spasm…

Not fatal…not yet…damn….

"Kill me, please. Please, no more pain! I can't take anymore!"

Quickly the agonized voice of my inner self is hushed by my heart, whispering the truth in an almost unrecognizable murmur,

"You can't die yet…Not until you've seen him again. Just hang on and look into his eyes one more time before you die."

With a final whirr, the searing pain finally begins to subside, along with what little strength remains within me. I collapse against the cold steel of that hated table; my body one throbbing, numb mass. But this new pain is nothing…nothing to that horrible burning I'm forced to endure again and again...

….and nothing to what you may be suffering right now...my deepest darkest fear that gives me nightmares more horrifying than what the physical torture has done to me…for that pain does subside….even if only for a few precious days at a time…

I shudder as the horrible, sinking feeling that you are alone in that disgusting city returns…so tiny, so fragile for all your boasting….I need you…to hold you in my arms again and never let go…I need to protect you from the bad things out there…

"Heh, you can't even protect yourself…"

"That's…not me…that voice…who are you?"

"Let me out and I'll protect you, Jak…and the one you love…I'll make sure they never hurt either of you again…"

"I…No! Go Away!"

"Alright, Jak. But there will be a time when you'll realize you need me…and then you will be mine…”

"NO! HELP ME! DAXTER!"

The voice is gone, but I'm still shaking. Shaking because I know that voice is not mine; not even a manifestation created from the twisted, scrambled remains of my mind.

It's something else….more real and frightening than any imaginary being I could create.

If my body could respond, I would curl into a ball and cry….

"Help me, Dax…you promised…"

You promised…promised you'd come. Please hurry, Daxter. I'm lost without you…weak without you…

…if it wasn't for you….I don't think I'd have made it this far…


*******

"Get in there!"

Cold metal is jabbed into the small of my back and I stumble forward, falling to my knees as the guard steps back. The door slides closed behind me and engulfs the small square cell in darkness. I'm grateful that he doesn't electrify his staff anymore…probably because I've given up fighting him. I guess I've given up on a lot since I came here…

…but these people…do things….terrible things…and there is only so much one can endure, especially when there is nowhere to run….and believe me, I've tried….but I'm too tired to think about that right now…

I fall forward onto the cold ground and let my weary lids close. Here, there is only darkness; even the purple haze I always see on the edges of my vision cannot survive in the total blackness.

There is no light here because it is another test…another form of torture. They want me to be afraid; alone in a place where I can't see anything…can't hear anything except for the ragged sounds of my breathing and the steady stream of air blowing in from a vent somewhere within the darkness. I still haven't figured out where it is as I cannot reach that high.

I spent the first few days running my hands frantically along the walls in the vain hope I’d find something within the blackness. Something other than the smooth, polished surface my trembling hands touched.

But my search was fruitless; aside from the vent, there is nothing here. This room is six walls of cold, hard steel; a six by six foot cube devoid of all comforts. I have no bed, no chair, nothing upon which to rest my weary, aching body….Nothing but cold steel and darkness…

I used to be afraid of the dark, but that was a long time ago...or so it seems…

I've learned to embrace it, for it is here within the endless blackness that I can remember the good times and bring up familiar faces to comfort me.

My muscles throb with an intensity that makes me want to scream, but I ignore the pain as my old friends….the only family I've ever known….return to me. From within the darkness before my eyes, a small speck of light emerges. It expands and stretches, forming into two figures I remember well. Crying out in joy, I reach out to them as they come closer, stopping just out of reach of my extended fingers.

He sits cross-legged before me, bobbing slightly in midair and staring at me with a steadfast, knowing gaze. I can even see the little bird flying around his head…the one that always loved to dive-bomb Daxter while we cleaned the hut…and the slight glow of green eco that engulfs his body in a shimmering halo. Samos, the Green Sage. A master of Green Eco and the closest thing to a father I've ever known. Only here, in this world, his normally stern expression is gone; replaced by the sympathetic smile he used to give me…when things with Gol and Maya got increasingly difficult….

I shift my gaze to the figure at his side and smile. Keira. She was my first crush and for a time, I really did feel that we were meant to be. She was always so bright and cheerful and I could listen to her for hours; talking about the current machine she was working on or some sort of technological problem she needed to solve. I was awed by her expertise…not to mention how her eyes sparkled with the passion she felt…emerald green, with flecks of gold that caught the light and shimmered warmly. Beautiful. She was…is beautiful….but I did eventually realize that she wasn't the one for me…that we could never be…

I see that love in her eyes now. The way she used to look at me, even after she knew that my heart belonged to another. There is a hint of sadness and pain deep within her eyes, but she never did let it show. She understood, for she felt the same way about me as I did about Daxter…

"Daxter," I whisper your name and as if that word is a signal, Keira and Samos fade into the darkness and a new figure emerges. My heart flutters and I feel my eyes burn with unshed tears as sparkling sapphire eyes return my gaze. Not even daring to breathe, I shakily rise up from the ground and stand to face you…nearly eye to eye as we once were. I see you as I remember you before….

…before you fell into that cursed Dark Eco and morphed into the small, furry creature that fit so snugly upon my shoulder. I touch the empty spot in remembrance with one hand, the other still outstretched. My best friend. My lover. The one I cannot bear to live without…

I take a moment to take all of you in; every detail once again, like I've done so many times. The shock of orange hair fading into gold, held back by your most prized possession; the classic leather and metal goggles that Samos gave you for your tenth birthday. We each got one…but mine are long gone…I push that thought aside, trying to ignore the sickening feeling growing in my stomach as my eyes travel down past the unmistakable pair of buckteeth that protrude from your full lips. I pause for a moment upon your outfit. A jumble of red and white that hangs loosely on your slight frame; it never did quite fit, even with all the buckles you added to it.

I bore your image into my mind before gazing once again into your eyes, waiting for the final memory to emerge from the world I've created. Yes, I am still sane enough to know this is not real…though not a day goes by that I wish it was real and that you have really come back to me; to take me away and tell me that everything is alright.

But when your image begins to shimmer I keep my focus on your eyes, pushing aside the sinking feeling within my heart because it means that this is a dream. Everything within my line of vision blurs except for your eyes. The sapphire blue shimmers, glowing with an inner light as the rest of you changes. Orange….orange at the edge of my vision moves inward to surround your eyes until I see you as you are…

Once a man; now a tiny, fragile creature. But it doesn't matter. I smile through the pain still ebbing at the edges of my consciousness. You are mine, I am yours. I promised you that, and I will never break that promise. Because I can see what is within you…your eyes say it all and that is what is so comforting. So safe…

"I love you..."

But fear still grips my heart because of what you have become. Because you are so tiny…so fragile….and all alone in that damned city. And this is why I must survive. Because I need to find you and keep you safe…And I also need you to protect me…from the bad things I feel inside…

I reach out, stepping forward to grasp you…to hold you again in my arms. But just before my fingertips brush your soft, silky fur, your image fades away and I am once again alone. The dream world is gone, and darkness consumes me…I fall to my knees in despair and cry out, pounding the floor with my fist. You are gone…and I am alone…

"I'll protect you, Jak…and the one you love…"

...no. Not alone….trapped within myself. And within myself, I sense pure evil…

"Let me out…Just let me out…"

The harsh sound of metal grating upon metal silences the voice; but it is panic, not relief which floods through me. A mind-numbing panic that grips my heart in a deadly vice and constricts my lungs until I'm gasping for breath. I squeeze my eyes shut against the blinding light, hoping that the shadow falling upon me is another dream…

"Please…let it be a nightmare. One that I can wake up from…"

A dream. Let it be a dream…if he doesn't say it, it's not real…if he doesn't speak, then I am safe….

"Good evening, Boy."

…Shit.

~To be continued!~