Trust

A/N: Thanks again to my beta, Rane, for all your help! This couldn’t come together without you (at least not as well).

Trust
Chapter 3: Secrets in Sand

Outside the Sybak inn, Lloyd turned to Zelos. Moonlight gleamed on the older man’s ruby locks, giving him a silvered halo. Lloyd’s heart had been racing ever since Zelos whispered “Let’s sneak out tonight. I want to talk to you,” when they were in bed together. It seemed like it had taken forever for Regal to fall asleep.

The way Zelos kept whispering in his ear hadn’t helped. Just the memory of the redhead’s breath brushing across his skin made him shiver with delight.

This is bad. I shouldn’t be feeling like this… He’s my friend.

Lloyd took a deep breath, and shakily let it out.

“So, you going to tell me what this is all about?” he asked quietly.

“Hmm?” replied Zelos. “Actually, bud, d’you mind if we take a walk on the beach?” He paused and looked down, shadows hiding his face. “I just really need to talk to you in private.”

Lloyd had thought his heart couldn’t beat any faster. He’d been wrong. “Uh, yeah, sure. No problem.”

Does he notice my voice shaking? Why am I so nervous around Zelos lately?

The pair walked to the beach in silence. Lloyd’s eyes were constantly drawn to the Chosen. The wind tugged at Zelos’ braid, freeing strands to whip around his face.

When they got to the beach, Zelos walked straight to the water’s edge and stood silently. His handsome face was pensive.

Should I say something? Or should I wait for him to talk?

Lloyd walked over to Zelos and sat on the soft sand. Zelos glanced at him, smiled, and sat beside the swordsman.

“So, Lloyd.” Zelos’ voice was soft, barely audible over the deep rumble of the sea. “You’re pretty innocent about the world, right?”

“What do you mean? I’m not stupid…”

“No, I know that,” Zelos said, cutting him off. “I mean… Well, there are a lot of things you don’t know about, right? And types of people. You can’t always take people for what they appear…” He trailed off, squirming uncomfortably, and pulled on his braid. The tie came out, and the wind teased his hair out, so it flowed around him. “I mean, they’ll act one way, the way everyone thinks they should or whatever, but they’re really a totally different person.”

What’s he getting at? Is it like how I pay attention to Colette, but really think about Zelos all the time? Wait. Lloyd froze as a sudden thought came to him.

Does Zelos just going around flirting with every girl he sees because people expect him to? Does he think about me? His breath caught in his throat. If the older man were saying that… The teen couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

“Lloyd? Do you get what I’m saying?” He’d never heard Zelos sound this uncertain and nervous before.

“Is it like you?” He saw Zelos’ back stiffen. “I mean, how you act carefree and stuff, but you’re really a lot more serious than all that?”

Why can’t I just say what I mean? Lloyd pounded a fist into the sand at his side, then answered his own question. I’m scared of what he’ll say if I tell him. I can’t just say I lo– With a shake of his head, he cut off his own thought.

Zelos chuckled. He sounded almost relieved. “Something like that. It’s just… I don’t know. There’s someone in our party who’s not telling you everything he should…” the redhead shook his head sharply, and stood up. “Look, I don’t even know why I’m making such a big deal out of this. Let’s head back and get some sleep.” He held out his hand to the younger man.

Lloyd reached up, taking his hand, and allowed Zelos to pull him to his feet. His mind was whirling, his heart in turmoil with what felt like a thousand conflicting emotions. Without noticing, he kept Zelos’ hand in his.

“I don’t tell you everything I should,” Lloyd whispered.

I should tell him that I feel closer to him than anyone… I trust him; he’ll still be my friend, even if he doesn’t feel the same way. Even if I am misreading him.

He dared a glance at Zelos.

The older man was staring at him. Suddenly, Lloyd was very aware that he still held his friend’s hand. He tugged gently, but Zelos tightened his grip and pulled the younger man closer. Lloyd couldn’t look away from the Chosen’s brilliant blue eyes. He could feel Zelos wrap an arm around his waist, holding him firmly.

Zelos’ hair enveloped them as he dipped his head lower. His lips were a scant inch away from Lloyd’s when he whispered, “You’re trembling.”

It was like the citrus-scented curtain of hair was hiding them away from everything else, as if they were the only real things and nothing else existed. Lloyd slipped his free arm around the other man’s shoulders, clinging to Zelos as his knees went weak.

“Lloyd,” Zelos whispered, “What don’t you tell me?”

The swordsman blushed and looked down, breaking the hypnotic effect of the Chosen’s eyes. Zelos released Lloyd’s hand, then tilted the teen’s face towards his own.

I’m not ready for this, Lloyd thought frantically. It’s too much, too soon… but it feels right.

With a soft sigh, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to melt against Zelos. I’ll worry tomorrow…

Lloyd heard the redhead groan, then felt the light brush of lips against his. The gentleness of the kiss was a stark contrast to the Chosen’s embrace; he clutched Lloyd tightly, almost desperately, against himself.

The brunet murmured his surrender, burying his hands in Zelos’ hair to pull him closer. Teasingly, the older man pulled away to trace his jaw line with feather-soft kisses. Lloyd tipped his head back, a low moan escaping his lips. The redhead’s arms loosened and Lloyd felt himself falling to the sand, pulling his friend with him. Zelos controlled their fall, cushioning him so he came to rest softly on the sand.

Zelos pulled back slightly, gazing into Lloyd’s eyes. “Hey,” he whispered. “You still haven’t told me—”

“I trust you, Zelos.”

I think I love you…

Lloyd met his gaze with all the sincerity he had.

Reaching out, Lloyd stroked the other man’s cheek. He pushed himself up on his elbow and kissed Zelos with artless passion. Zelos deepened the kiss, nipping softly at his lips, and sliding a hand up under Lloyd’s shirt to caress his chest.

Lloyd clung to the Chosen and collapsed back on the beach. Zelos fell heavily on top of him, proof of his desire pressing hard against the younger man. When he felt the redhead’s tongue run tenderly along the edge of his mouth, Lloyd parted his lips in a silent invitation that was eagerly accepted. Tentatively he ran a hand down Zelos’ back, and was rewarded with an encouraging mumble against his mouth.

I wish I could stay like this forever. Even as the thought crossed his mind, Lloyd knew he couldn’t.

With an effort, Lloyd broke away from the kiss, panting. Zelos pulled back, concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Can’t… breathe…” Lloyd panted.

With an agonized laugh, Zelos dropped his head to the swordsman’s shoulder. Lloyd heard him muttering, and caught the words “… shouldn’t be doing this…” He panicked.

“Shouldn’t? Why? Did I… did I do something wrong?” he asked anxiously.

“What?” The Chosen lifted his head, looking confused. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong… Oh. I said ‘We shouldn’t be doing this here.’ Sorry.” He lightly kissed the tip of his friend’s nose. “We should really go back and get some sleep…”

Lloyd nodded wordlessly and let Zelos help him up again. As they walked back to Sybak, Zelos kept him close with an arm around his shoulders.

I wish he’d give me space.

It was impossible to think with the redhead so close. The citrus scent of his hair pulled Lloyd back into new memories, and the other man’s hand kept stoking his arm, clouding his mind.

I need to figure this out!

~~~

Back at the inn, Lloyd hurried back to bed while Zelos went to brush and braid his hair again. In the dark, he didn’t notice the sand that Regal had already tracked into their room. He tried to calm himself, but every nerve tingled with excitement. All too soon Zelos crept quietly into the room and slipped into bed.

Lloyd pressed himself against the wall. We’ll just go to sleep, and be back to normal in the morning. We’ll still be friends.

“Lloyd?” Zelos’ voice sounded strangely nervous.

“Yeah.” Lloyd stayed glued to the wall.

Okay, new plan. I won’t look at him so I won’t get nervous. Then we’ll sleep, and everything will be normal.

“You’re acting weird.”

“How am I acting weird?”

Zelos didn’t answer right away. Finally, he said, “It just feels awkward.”

Lloyd sighed. “I’m sorry. I just… well, this is really new to me.” How can I make him understand? “I just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Zelos’ relief was almost palpable. “You’re not supposed to do anything, bud. Just think about what you want to do.”

“Honestly? Right now, I want to sleep. And not be weird. If that makes sense.”

“About that…”

“Hmm?”

“I have an idea.” Zelos moved closer, and put an arm out to draw Lloyd close.

“Are you crazy? How is this relaxing?” Lloyd hissed.

“Well it would help if you’d cooperate here,” Zelos whispered back.

“Fine. I’ll try.”

Lloyd let the Chosen pull him to his chest. He could hear Zelos’ heart beating a comforting rhythm, and feel him stroking his hair gently.

He struggled to stay awake and enjoy the moment a little longer, but exhaustion won out. As he slipped into sleep, he heard Zelos whisper, “We’ll try this again sometime.”