Xepher

Title: Xepher
Author: x-Hitoshirezu-x
Rating: PG-NC-17
Chapters: 3/18
Parts: 1/3
Part Title: I Know You
Chapter Title: Punishment
Pages: 8

Description: Sora and Roxas are twins. When they were eight, their mother had a third child and could no longer afford to support all three of her children. Or, was that just what she told Sora. She gave Roxas up for adoption, and kept Sora and the new baby. When Sora turned fourteen he got into a serious accident and lost alot of his memory, including the part about having a twin. Meanwhile, Roxas was adopted at twelve. Now, because of his adoptive fathers job, Roxas has moved to the Destiny Islands and is in the same school as Sora.

Author's Note: PLEASE READ THIS. I got the idea for this story from a Dance Dance Revolution song called Xepher. I plan to have three parts, and each part will have six chapters, the first of which will always be X. This is chapter three of part one. This spans Sora's life from the age of twelve to fourteen. It deals with sex, violence, as well as abuse. If this is not something you care for, please don't read it.

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Punishment
~~~~~~~~~~

Sora was twelve. It had been four years since he last saw his brother. When he asked his mother about it, she either ignored him, or changed the subject. He was now in seventh grade and was doing horrible. Ever since Roxas had disappeared, Sora steadily became more and more miserable. Until, finally, one day he cracked and lost himself to the darkness that had slowly been consuming his heart.

At first he would lock himself in his room and refuse to eat. As his mother was busy with his new baby sister, Kairi, she had no time to check up on him, leaving the young brunette to play by himself, eat by himself, take care of himself. Kairi was, after all, only four. But, somehow, Sora felt that he was cheated because if Roxas was still around, Sora wouldn't have felt so alone without his mother paying attention to him.

When he went to school, he avoided the kids as best he could, becoming a target for their teasing. By the time he was ten he'd already learned quite a bit about suicide and how to commit it should he ever feel the need to. Not long after that, his wrists began to sport cuts on them, deep and long. He hid them from prying eyes and no one was the wiser. Now, at the age of twelve he was anti-social, abused at school, and self-violent.

Kaya never knew what was going on.

This day was like every other. Sora was getting beaten up behind the school, someplace that the teachers conviniently forgot to look every afternoon. He cried, something he'd never grown out of. He didn't defend himself, having always relied on Roxas to protect him. This only made his attackers more willing to hurt him, smiling the entire time. Eventually however, they always got bored and headed home, leaving a bleeding and beaten Sora on the ground to cry until he could walk (or rather, limp) home.

Since Kairi was four years old, she could be left alone while unconcious, and that was just how Sora found her. His mother had work at three-thirty, and that day, Sora hadn't made it home 'til almost four. Luckily, Kairi was known for her long naps. He smiled at her sleeping form before locking the front door, walking past her and up the stairs, heading for his room.

As soon as he crossed the thresholed, he dropped his school bags into the corner, thankful that it was Friday and that he would have a few days to recopperate after his beating. He flopped onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling, a heavy sigh slipping through his lips. The room had been so empty since Roxas had disappeared. Sometimes, if Sora tried hard enough, he could see the Roxas he remembered, sitting on the non-existant bed opposite his own, coloring in their favorite book, or playing with their new toys. Each time it happened Sora would break down and cry, or if it got too bad, Sora would even cut himself to try and forget it.

Blinking away the tears that had sprung to his eyes, Sora sat up and reached into the table beside his bed. After fumbling with the contents for a few moments, he finally pulled out a white towel and a small razor blade that he'd hidden long ago. A noise made him freeze, and he glanced at the door, a relieved smile crossing over his features as he realized that Kairi wasn't there. He lifted his left arm, placing it on the towel so that when his wrists bled, it would fall onto the towel and not the bed. With a deep breathe, he dragged the blade horizontally over his wrist, bairly flintching as his skin seperated and the abused flesh began to leak out a crimson fluid. For a few moments he just watched as the blood dripped from his newest wound, but than turned the blade verticle. He grit his teeth and pressed the blade deep into his skin, dragging it down to make a cross shaped mark upon his left wrist.

Looking at the bleeding mark, his eyes began to water. Not because he hurt physically (even though it did), but because mentally, each cut was mean to represent the twin that he'd lost. That he'd let be taken away from him. Each tear that would slip down his cheek represented a memory that Sora had of Roxas, and when the brunettes tears finally stopped falling, it mean that he no longer had any memories left to shed tears about. Though this process took nearly an hour, Sora felt that the time was too short. Roxas was worth more than an hour of tears.

The bleeding on his wrist started to slow, and Sora knew it was time to take care of it. Reaching back into the drawer, he pulled out a small plastic container filled with bandages. Carefully, he wiped the blood away from his wrist, smiling at how ironically it looked to be stigmata, before blowing softly on the wound as Roxas would have done. Then, with practiced skill, he wrapped the bandage around hi wrist, making sure that the sleeves of his shirt covered the prood of his sin. Once it was taken care of, he put the items away, locking the drawer once more, knowing that his mother would never go through his things.

Glancing at the clock, the boy stood moving towards the door. It was almost five and his sister would be hungry when she woke up. He slipped out of the room, refusing to look back. A mirror was across the room from his room, and he looked deeply into it. A slow smile spread over his features.

There, in the reflection of the mirror, was Roxas. He was coloring in their favorite book, smiling right back at Sora. (1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaya was slow to realize it, but by the time Sora was thirteen he'd been admitted into the Jesus Town Psychiatric Ward. (2) At first she was too shocked to fully understand why he'd been admitted without her permission, but upon seeing the scars that littered her sons wrists, she knew that she could no longer handle him herself.

Frightened, she began to cry as Sora was given his own special room, his clothes being taken away, instead forced to wear a plain white robe. Seeing Sora with a blank expression on his face as the nurses dressed him, she had her first thoughts of regret towards her decision to rid Sora of Roxas' exhistance. The state that Sora was in now scared her. She never thought that Sora would need Roxas so much that he would go crazy without him. She left the day he was admitted and didn't check up on him for two weeks.

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(Author's Note: From this point 'til the end of two weeks, everything is in the Doctor's perspective and will be in first-person.)


Two Week Chart
Patient: Sora Yamato
Doctor: Gene Hiwatari

Day 1:
As Sora watched his mother leave, I lifted my hand, gently placing it upon the boys fragile shoulder. For a doctor, I'm pretty young, bairly out of college even, so Sora is one of my first patients that I've ever had. He would have had someone more experianced, but whenever any of the other doctors came near him, he would scream and tear at his wrists. After leading Sora to the bed, I sat beside him, smiling and started my job of probing his mind.

"Let's start by introducing ourselves. What's your name?"

"Sora Yamato."

"Well, Sora, my name is Doctor Gene Hiwatari. You may call me Gene if you wish. How old are you?"

"I'm thirteen. What about you."

I smiled. Sora was a sharp thinker.

"I'm twenty-two. You know, Sora, you'll probably be here for awhile."

Sora shrugged as he flopped onto the bed. He blinked at me, and I blinked back, my smile still on my face as he too began to grin.

"As long as mom's not around, that's fine."

After that however, I couldn't get Sora to speak again. I've concluded that something may have happened with his mother, and that might be the reason for him to cut.


Day 2:
"So, Sora, how did you sleep last night?"

"I didn't."

Sora answered so truthfully, and I frowned. If Sora wouldn't sleep on his own, I was going to have to drug him. This thought didn't settle right with me. For some reason, I feel that Sora really doesn't belong here. Maybe it's just because he's not "crazy" like the rest of the ward.

"Sora, do you know why you're here?"

"Because I slit my wrists."

"Very good. You do know that it's my job to get into your head?"

"It's not like I have anything I want to hide. I'm more than happy to tell you everything that's been happening. I want someone to know. Maybe than I can escape."

"Escape?"

"From my twin..."

Kaya never mentioned to me anything about Sora having a twin.

"You have a twin?"

"Had."

After blinking at how blunt the responce was, I watched him, slightly un-nerved by the smile that he was giving me.

"What happened to him?"

"He disappeared the day my sister was born. I havn't seen him since. But, mother knows. I ask her about Roxas, but she never tells me anything. She never wants to talk about him. Mother doesn't like Roxas. She was always punishing him, telling me that he was a bad boy. But, Roxas wasn't bad. I don't know why mother hated him so much."

This new information worried me. Maybe it wasn't so much his mother that the problem was with, but rather the fact that his twin had been taken from him. I decided that I would need to talk to Kaya.

"I think that I'm going to have a talk with your mother about this. I'll see you again tomorrow."

"Sure."


Day 3:
Today I didn't go to see Sora. After yesturday's meeting with him, I promtly called his mother and demanded to know why she'd never told me about Sora's twin. To my shock, Sora said that there was no twin, that Sora had made Roxas up in his head. When I hung up with her, I was at a loss for who to believe. Should I believe Sora who so vehemiantly believes that he has a twin, or should I believe the mother?

This case might be more difficult than it seems on the surgace.

I sent one of the nurses to tell Sora that I wouldn't be coming today, and she returned in tears. When I asked her what had happened, she told me that Sora had bitten through his wrists and re-opened his wound. She said it was lucky that she'd found him whwen she did or it would have been too late.

Day 4:
"Sora, what you did yesturday was bad. I'm glad that the nurse found you when she did. It might have been too late otherwise."

"I'd hoped that you'd be the one to find me. I wanted you, and you alone to see the truth. Mother lied. Roxas is real. I'm not crazy like you all think! I'm just...I don't know..."

I sighed and walked back towards the door that I'd only just entered five minutes before. I pressed the button to page a nurse, shaking my head.

"I'm sorry, Sora. Until you start telling the truth, I have no choice but to drug you."

The look of hurt that crossed Sora's face made me instantly regret my decision, but there was nothing I could do. The nurse had already come. I walked out, hearing Sora struggling, trying to block his screams out.

Day 5:
"Sora...breathe in slowly..."

"G--Gene...!"

I slid my hand slowly along Sora's member, stroking the hard flesh gently. I could tell that this was his first time ever being touched like this, and somehow, that made me feel elated. If someone should ever read these, and I get fired, at least let them know that Sora wanted this too.

I kissed him.

He kissed me back.

I stroked him harder and faster.

Sora's scream of extasy as he came is still ringing in my ears even as I write this.


Day 6:
No Record.

Day 7:
Today Sora gave me head. When he did it, I could help but think that maybe, just maybe everything he's been telling me is true. Why would a mouth so good lie?

Day 8:
I didn't go and see Sora today. It might be too risky. After our little excusion yesturday, I've started to think. Maybe Sora really is the one telling the truth. Maybe Roxas really does exhist. I'm so confused, and for me to be confused while my patient obviously isn't is something that I'm not dealing with so well.

Day 9:
"Gene...do you love me?"

"...yes, I do, Sora."

"Than why won't you believe me?"

Day 10:
"Stop! No! Not now, please...Gene, it's too soon!"

We exchanged frantic kisses, though I was doing it mostly to try and keep Sora's voice down. He was so loud. The moment I was inside of him, he passed out. Feeling bad, I pulled out and got him dressed, than left the room to write this report.

Day 11:
Sora refuses to see me. I think that maybe I've upset him more than I mean to. He won't eve answer the door, and the one nurse that I sent to give him a message came back with a scratch on her cheek. She told me that Sora had been crying, repeating my name over and over. I felt bad.

Day 12:
"Have you talked to my mother?"

"She doesn't wish to speak to me."

"...do you believe me? Do you believe Roxas exhists?"

I back away from him, not wanting to be attacked again. From the hurt look on his face, he must've know that I was hurting too.

"No...I don't, Sora."

He didn't move, only sat there, and finally smiled.

"I love you, Gene."

For once, I'm the one crying.

Day 13:
Sora's mother contacted the ward today. Tomorrow, Sora is going to be discharged from our care. I tried to reason with Kaya, but she would have none of it.

Tomorrow, Sora will be gone. I'll never see him again.

Day 14:
"You're going home today, Sora."

"I know."

"Remember to take your medication."

"I will."

"Sora, I love you..."

He smiled at me. A sad smile.

"If you really loved me, you would believe me. You don't love me, Gene. Stop fooling yourself."

A nurse walked into the room than, smiling at Sora.

"Your mothers here to pick you up."

Sora nodded and got up to follow her, but I called out to him before he could leave the room.

"Sora, why did you let me do such things to you?"

For a moment he was silent, and when he replied, I realized how wrong I'd been.

"Because you look like Roxas. He had blonde hair and bright sapphire eyes just like you. Maybe I didn't love you either. It was just because you looked so much like Roxas."

I watched him walk out of the room, leaving me there. For a few moments I didn't move or speak. Than, I broke down. When the nurse came back and found me, I had already been crying for nearly half an hour. When she asked me what was wrong, I could only reply: "Sora was telling the truth."
~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor Gene Hiwatari quit his job the following week. When Kaya read the newspaper nearly a month later, she began to cry.

[Gene James Hiwatari died at the age of twenty-two. The cause was suicide. When going through his belongings to find out why he'd done such a thing, police found the psychiatric report of a young boy named Sora. Gene had been in love with Sora, and yet had failed to believe him. When he realized his mistake, he quit his job. The last thing that was ever recorded in his medical books were these words: Sora. You're the first person who's ever made me feel this way. I'm sorry that I couldn't believe you, and I regret that I didn't. Someday, I'll find you, and I'll protect you. Sora, I love you.]

When Sora asked if he could see the paper, she shock her head and threw it out, only to retrieve it later that night, clipping out the article on Gene.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy fourteenth birthday, Sora!"

Nothing had changed since Sora had been in the ward. The only difference was that Sora cut himself more and more, but hid his nasty work far better than he had in the begining.

The cake in front of him was chocolate, with fourteen bright blue and yellow candles. Sora's heart sank. He was once more reminded. Sapphire...blonde...

"Roxas...."

Kaya gasped, and before she could react, Sora had grabbed the knife for his cake and had slashed his wrists open once more, spilling blood onto the table and the cake. Kaya screamed, locking Kairi out of the kitched as Sora continued to mutilate himself further. She grabbed for the knife.

Sora snarled and twisted away, slashing at his mother, catching her with the tip of the blade. Her cheek began to ooze blood. He smiled, watching the crimson fluid leak from the wound. He rose his hand and slashed her again. And again. And again. Sora finally calmed, clinging tightly to the knife as he spoke.

"For every drop of blood you shed, Roxas shed a tear. For every lie you've told, Roxas dies a little more. But mom, you know who you really killed when you took Roxas away? By lying and saying that he wasn't real? That he didn't exhist!?"

Sora walked closer to his mother, pinning her to the counter as she cried, trembling in fear. Sora's smile only grew wider as he raised the knife, hovering it over the womans chest.

"You hurt me, mother. You always treated Roxas like he was the bad one. But, mom...you're the bad one. And now, it's time to make up for what you did to me and Roxas..."

Before Sora could move, he was knocked out. As the knife fell from his hand, his body crumpled and fell to the floor. Kairi's father dropped the book that he'd used to hit Sora with. Kaya stood where she was, routed to the spot. After a few moments, she finally looked up and then collapsed.

"This...it's too much."

"I can't do this anymore. If you don't do something about your son, I'm going to leave you...and I'm going to take Kairi with me. Sora's dangerous!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not even one month later, Kairi's father had won sole custody of his daughter, agreeing to let Kaya take her one week of every month, but only after Sora calmed.

Kaya decided that it was finally time to get Roxas back. Not because she cared for him. No, if anything she hated him more. He was ruining her life while he wasn't even there, and that made her mad. She needed him there so that her life would stop falling apart around her.

But, she'd waited too long. She had wasted no time in called the orphanage, but the message that she recieved made her blood run cold. She dropped the phone, her scream echoing through the house as she realized how much of a mistake she really had made.

"Roxas Yamato was adopted two years ago."

TBC.....


Notes:

1: This is used to signify that Sora is indeed mentally sick. He see's his brother because he WANTS to see him so bad.

2: I made the mistake of asking my friend for the name of the town. If he'd gotten his way, the doctor would've been named Jesus.