What He Means to Me

"Sora, about Roxas, I think he just-"

"Kairi. I don't care about him."

The two were in their senior Biology class, working at one of the tables, side-by-side, on their photosynthesis project; taking a song and rewriting the lyrics to the process. It was a boring project, and an embarrassing one they would have to sing in front of the class. Kairi, however, was too wrapped up in what was happening with Sora.

She had talked to Namine that morning about it.

"I think Sora knows what he has to do. For us nobodies, what I find to be most important..."

"Kairi! This is perfect!" Sora exclaimed as he showed her the song he had picked. Kairi smiled and nodded, but couldn't help but show her disappointment. If only Sora would listen more. There was that one part of his life he was throwing away.

What would happen to Sora if he did completely throw Roxas away?

Her heart suddenly skipped a beat. The outcome, if things continued this way, would not be good. Not only did she have this feeling, she knew it was the truth.

"Kairi, is something wrong?" Sora easily noticed the saddened look on her face. Did she not like the song he had picked or something? It wasn't a problem if she wanted a different one. Oh! Maybe it was... He whispered to her, "Is it that time of the month?"

"Wha-? Sora! N-no." She blushed and turned her head a bit. "It's not that. I'm just concerned for you..." She turned to face Sora again and met his blue eyes. Only...

The blue was too vast; something was wrong.

It played out in slow motion as Sora's blank eyes along with the rest of his upper body fell flat against the table. Kairi's own eyes widened and for a moment she was paralyzed with shock. A hand she tried to move stayed draped at her side.

"Kairi!"

Namine's voice inside her head? She regained her composure and rushed to grasp Sora's shoulders and shake him gently. "Sora..! Sora!"

Sora's eyes quickly closed and reopened. A moan fell from his mouth as he held his head up with an arm. "Wh-what..." He stared at his notebook and saw the writing swirl around as his head spun from the sudden episode. Kairi kept one hand steadily on his shoulder, "Oh my...! You just suddenly passed out! I was so afraid! Are you feeling sick?"

He tried to just shake it off, but couldn't. He felt limp and weak, like he had gone through some rigorous exercise and was completely exhausted. The heaviness weighed upon his entire being, traveling to his legs.

But in the next instant it was gone. Sora was perfectly fine and everything would be okay.

"Sora!!"

He quickly looked to his left and saw the worrisome eyes. Guilt passed through him like a rocket, but he brushed it aside. He knew himself better than anyone else. Kairi was being an unnecessary worry. "Kairi. It was nothing and I feel fine now. I have enough problems and I don't need you to create more like this." He turned his attention back to the notebook scribbles. "Just leave it alone. Please..?"

"I can't because..."

Sora heard the sniffle and looked to see something he hadn't noticed before.

Kairi was crying. "...because I'm scared."

At this one instance, Sora discovered the most important thing Kairi ever said to him.

Sora was unexpectedly scared too. All he could think of was "thank you."


That afternoon Sora walked home silently until a certain silver-haired guy ran up to him.

"Sora! What gives; not waiting for me...!" Riku slapped the other's back to get his attention and it instantly worked as they met gazes. Sora looked as though someone had died, however and this immediately changed Riku's attitude. "W-what's wrong...?"

Sora kept up his slow pace, studying the ground before him. Riku... Sora may have been close with Kairi, but he was even closer to Riku. He was the one person Sora knew he could completely trust and be open with, but he still found it difficult to talk clearly about the situation, "Just got dizzy during class... Ended up going to the nurse for a bit to lay down."

Riku sprang into action, grasping the other by the shoulder lightly, "If you're sick, let me help you home! I don't want you getting hurt...!"

He shook his head. "It's fine. I'm not sick. But..."

Sora stopped. The way the low sun filtered through Sora's hair was beautiful, Riku admired briefly. The thought faded as Sora shifted and stared straight at Riku. Those blue eyes Riku always fawned over shocked him with the fear and pain that enveloped them.

"I think there's something wrong."

Riku's heart skipped a beat. The rest of the walk home was spent entirely in an overwhelming silence. The two knew each other well enough to know a discussion awaited when they arrived at Sora's house. After they did, they grabbed some juice and sat on Sora's bedroom floor and were silent for just a few more moments.

Sora spoke, "I've... been wanting to avoid it, but it's about Roxas." Riku intently listened, determined to understand. "Lately, I haven't been like myself. He is half of me and without this half of me, what do I become?"

He grabbed his knees close, a small shiver leaving his body, "I don't know what to do and... I'm scared."

Riku had to admit to himself that he didn't quite know what to do either. Kairi was more suited for this discussion than him since she was in such a similar position. However, right now Sora was asking him for advice.

He hugged him close and gently smoothed Sora's hair rhythmically, "You'll always be just who you are, Sora, don't doubt that. And you'll always have your friends. Maybe right now your heart is just yearning for something it has lost; that part of you that is Roxas. You're scared maybe because you have such strong emotions for him and you're afraid of what you'll find if you get too close to him."

Riku felt the sudden tight grasp onto his arm and the ever-so-slight shaking from the body he held. He felt the tears against his neck and heard the sniffles. The only thing he could do was hold Sora and stroke his back, letting him know that it was good to cry and that he was there for him.

"I... don't know... don't know what to do..."


Notes: Okay... so this chapter ended up being all Sora-centric. The next chapter should focus more on Roxas. Sorry it took so long to get up; I don't like using excuses but I have been boggled down with homework! This week I have TWO midterms(already??) plus an essay, plus the final for a project, then all the smaller projects... it's rough. People say college third year is rough... it is. xD Hope you all are enjoying anyways. Thank you for all the reviews! :) Well, all one of you (Hikari). XD