Mega man Battle Network: Virus mutations

Chapter 21: Control (How to save a life)

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Alright, this chapter is gonna be a little long, but it has a really good ending, so bare with it. And again, thanks to all of you who reviewed, I never thought I'd get so many. Thanks so much.

How to save a life by The Fray

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*Don't expect too much variation from yesterday in the forecast, we're still facing that string of storm fronts, but they're patchy at best. Expect scattered showers through out today and tomorrow, it's gonna be a hit or miss type of situation, parts of the area will get a little, some will get a lot, others will get nothing at all. Expect temperatures in the mid 40's...*


Enzan was wrapped up in his work as strongly as ever, as Blues anticipated he would be. He'd noticed Enzan seemed a bit lost at first, overwhelmed even, he clearly didn't know where to start. The boy had said it was because he was out of the loop so long that he'd lost his feel for it, that changed quickly enough, he seemed to drift into his natural orbit and get into the swing of things.

Enzan was at his most comfortable when he was working, something Blues had noted a long time ago, he never complained, he seldom stopped. Maybe it was a control issue, Maybe Enzan defined himself by his level of efficiency and equivalently, usefulness, whatever it was he was good at it. He'd probably gotten only about 2 hours total of sleep throughout the last day, though no one would ever notice it over the caffeine and Enzan's general linear demeanor of subtitle amusement and callus indifference. Between all of the phone calls and meetings with his father... also over the phone, not to mention the major shortage of employees, which meant he was the one that had to do the most. He was the one that had to fill in where he could, help at lest a little bit everywhere to the best of his capacity, he was the one that had to make the decisions, or hear and sign off on every one. He was the one that was still scrambling to get vacant positions filled so they could reach at lest 50 percent capacity. Enzan was the one who had to coordinate repairs and damage control, Enzan was the one who had the pivotal position here, which meant he couldn't leave until everything was under control.

Though he wouldn't admit it, Enzan was scared, this place was on it's last leg and could fall at any moment. Everything had spiraled out of his control, his life had spiraled out of his control and was still slipping. He felt lost, scattered, disorganized, it made him anxious and relentless every moment, he couldn't put it properly in words, it was this extreme feeling that something inside of him was very, very wrong and could only be fixed if he got a handle on something. So he worked, struggling to feel that he some sense of control over something again, that *something* was right and in order, and maybe then he himself would feel right and in order.

Blues was fairly limited in what he could do, he'd been detailed to data recovery, which was important, but he found his most important role was manly to keep Enzan company. And to prevent him from losing his sanity in all of the work. He watched as Enzan ,who was seated in the center of the control room, which had faired well enough besides some noticeable structural damage to the wall the walls, at one of the terminals that were still working. Enzan was leaned back lazily, careful to retain the balance of the a cell phone in his lap (He'd been on hold off and on for 30 minutes now), and sure not to disturb the order of binders, folder and bare paper work spread out in messy piles circled on the ground around him. Enzan almost leisurely looked over a few old papers in aid with a new one, at least it seemed leisurely, at this point it was hard to tell either way.

- ! -
*Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk*
- ! -

“Shouldn't you be focusing on getting people who do these types of things instead of doing it yourself?” Blues asked.

Enzan didn't look up, his eyes continued to scan over small lines of text, squinting every so often when they began to run together. “I'm on hold.” He said gruffly. He'd admit that it was a bit overwhelming, so many things coming at him at once, finances, staffing, salvage and construction, and just about every problem that could possibly go wrong that his opinion would be needed on. Also the fact that his father constantly called, pressuring him to take farther reprieve, trying to convince him that this was too much for him to handle and he should just turn it over to him. Enzan was always good at dealing with pressure, and he never was one to give up, he sure as hell wasn't going to allow himself to fail, and he told his father just that. Though, he was grateful that in his father's indirect, inarticulate way, he was trying to look out for him, as rare as it well.

“You *are* aware that you just got out of the hospital aren't you?” Blues reminded him in a rather cynical manner. “You haven't eaten or slept at all in 18 hours, I'm sure even *you* have a limit.”

“Maybe I do, but this ain't it.” Enzan leaned over the table, slipped the pen from behind his ear and began transcribing something he'd found in the endless stacks of papers on to a new form. He had a snow storm of paper work to contend with, from contractors for every possible aspect of this island, to order forms for materials, to biohazardous contamination compliance, and of course he had to contend with the fire department doing their own surveying. “What'd you expect? No one said this was gonna be a short process.”

“Even the networking guys get to eat, and go home.” Blues retorted. “ And I'm sure someone will understand if you go to sleep after 18 hours of working.”

Enzan didn't particularly want to stop, he'd settled into a steady pace, once he started working he became so involved with it that it was hard to stop. After being bombarded the first 2 hours with things and scrambling to resolve them all, his body made it painfully clear to him that he no longer had the physical capacity to handle things in such ways. So he spent then the next 3 hours staking out a decent place to centralize his efforts and prioritize everything. Luckily, the control room happened to be it Since the structural damage to the walls made the place look worse then it actually was, and the facilities networks weren't on line so none of the computers worked, no one else found any particular need to be in here. It was quiet, and isolated, and Enzan wanted to keep it that way, by hour 6 he'd bared everyone else from the room, they were to only enter when they had a problem that absolutely required his intervention. “Tch, like I have time to rest, I'll sleep when I'm dead.” Enzan 's eyes skimmed over the pages of a report, then he quickly tossed it aside, he was only looking for the most resent things they had hard copies of, of what survived he needed the things that were constructed as near to the date of the accident at possible.

Blues didn't say it, but in a distant, calm, awful way, that was what he feared, or at lest something dreadfully irreparable would happen to Enzan if he continued on like this. “I'm sure you will.” The navi half mumbled. “Maybe your father is right, you-”

Enzan tilted his head from behind the paper and looked at Blues with a baleful glare. “Take that back.”

“Tch, good luck.” Blues looked away dismissively. “For all you know your just making yourself worse with all this moving around, I'm not even going to go into what happened in the hospital.”

Enzan felt a twinge of annoyment when Blues brought that up, the last thing he wanted to be reminded of was that, he felt a deep seated shame when he even thought of it, as if he had done something wrong in his weakness. Needless to say he was embarrassed when Blues said it, and that embarrassment quickly burned into annoyment. “...” Enzan didn't respond, Blues had him there and he knew it, the baleful glare only intensified. “The point is, I'm fine. I'm not tired.”

But Blues was long immune to it, as well as Enzan's tendency to ignore his own limitations, and paid it no mind. “Your too stubborn for your own good sometimes, you know that.” He said, he folded his arms in a resentful defeat, he knew there was only so much he could say until he was sure Enzan was past the point of his means of convention.

“So they tell me.” Enzan leaned over the side of his chair and began digging through the messy piles of things scattered about, still careful to balance the phone in his lap, he could still hear the hold music. “You know, your one to talk about being stubborn.” He couldn't possibly take a break, he still had to a million things to deal with, he still had to talk to the fire department and all six of the inspectors, that was definitely a priority. The contractors he hired wanted to repair and build over some of places most damaged by the flames, if the inspectors decided an area was too unsound, it would have to be demolished and that was the type of thing that needed to be decided. “ Zero-”

“You better not be saying what I think your about to say.” Blues interjected .

Enzan felt a small smirk twinging at the edge of his lips, if there was anything he enjoyed, it was watching Blues and Zero. “You know it's true.” He said teasingly, his eyes rolling away absentmindedly, as if he wasn't infuriating Blues.

“Says you.” Blues shook his head.

“Whatever you say Blues, and I'm the one in denial.” Enzan leaned back in his seat, his form lipping into a slouch, he slowly lifted one leg with a grunt, about half way up he had to use his hands to manually lift the weak limb on to the table. With a sharp exhale he relaxed again, holding up another paper.

“What was that?” Blues asked in a matter of factly tone.

“*That* was nothing.” Enzan told him.

“Sure it was.” Blues seemed to be throughly satisfied with himself.

- ! -
*He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through*
- ! -

“Your that worried about me huh?” Enzan smiled in a mildly arrogant way, just to tease Blues.

“Tch, Your just being stubborn and stupid.” Blues said with a stoic evasiveness, there was no way he'd admit to that, under any circumstances. “If your gonna be stubborn, at lest take a break, go get something to eat.”

“I'm not....” Enzan paused mid-sentence, with his mind momentarily off of working it was free to contemplate all of his body contents, mainly his stomach. A apprehensive expression came to his face, he would have never realized this if Blues hadn't mentioned it. “Maybe I am a little hungry.” He conceded. Enzan decidedly pulled his leg off of the table and clinched the back of his chair to push himself up on to his feet. With a silent glance he wordlessly signaled to Blues he would be back as soon as he was able, then he made his way to the door, grabbing a hold of anything stable enough to support his weight on the way out. It took him longer then he would have liked to admit to reached the door, but he easily pried it open.

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Blues sat silently, legs crossed, arms folded, debating with himself silently. He was still inside of his P.E.T, and couldn't decide if he wanted to remain there or not. Truthfully he was bored, Blues seemed to find himself in that restless state often as of late. He had the task of data recovery, and that was a task wanted to get back to, it wasn't nearly as tedious it sounded. But he wanted to wait for Enzan to return first, though he knew in Enzan's state that could take quite a while.

'?'

Blues peeked one eye open and immediately flinched when they met Zero's blues ones. The half navi was standing over him, leaning down far enough to bring them uncomfortably close. “Zero!?” His startled face immediately shifted into an furious one when he saw Zero begin to laugh.

“Oh, did I scare you?” Zero asked sarcastically,relishing in seeing the usually stoic, strong, infallible Blues so easily impelled into startlement.“That look on your face! It's priceless!”

“What the hell!” Immediately Blues sent a sharp kick to Zero's chest and shoved him backwards. “Stop doing that!” He growled in anger.

Zero fell on to his back, wrapping his arms around the pained spot in his stomach, still unable to stop laughing. “I couldn't resist.” He stifled his laugher to catch his breath, deciding it was better to stop before Blues got anymore angry. When the dull, yearning ache for air in his lungs eased and the pain in his stomach faded, Zero rolled off of his side and laid flat on his back. “So, whatcha been up too?”

Blues climbed to his feet, his arms folded across his chest and his gaze begrudgingly watching Zero from the corner of his vision. He watched those bright blue eyes with the child like content in it's gaze, the easy, coy smile, the way Zero was lose
and relaxed, much different then before. Unexplained relief crept over him when he saw Zero's demeanor had normalized, he was significantly better then the last time he was with him, and as annoying as it was, he could honestly say he liked this Zero better then the other. “You have no medium do you?” Blues grunted with annoyment.

“Huh?” Zero tilted his head and looked up at him questioningly. “What does that mean?”

“Forget it, I don't want you to hurt yourself idiot.”Blues waved his hand dismissively, with his anger dissipated he sat back down and resumed his former position.

Zero rolled his eyes. “You really are mean.” He feigned hurt, to which Blues ignored, and when Zero noticed that he quickly gave up on it. “But you did say you didn't want me to hurt myself, you really do give a damn huh?”

“Yeah right, it's just so much more satisfying if I do it myself.” Blues retorted sarcastically.

“I bet you probably just sat here all day.” Zero crawled over to Blues and looked over his shoulder, speaking in a taunting manner. “Doing that thing you always do, with that look on your face you always have.” Zero said, grinning a little when he saw the aggravation growing on Blues' face. “That's the one.”

“Do you go home and work on being annoying or are you really like this?” Blues coldly shoved a sharp elbow back into Zero's chest and pushed him away. “I find it hard to believe anyone could be this aggravating.”

“Come on, what'd you do all this time?” Zero asked. “What can you do in a place like this? Everything's broken.”

“I worked.”

“Should've guessed.” Zero shrugged, he pushed himself off the ground and paced around, resting his arms behind his head absentmindedly and his eyes upward. “What can you really do in a place like this though, is there anything left to do anything with?”

“Yeah, a good amount.”Blues said, “I have to salvage what I can, after that's done, delete the rest.”

Zero walked past Blues' side and stared outward, “Sounds interesting.” He mumbled sarcastically. He turned around with a pseudo smile and his eyes bright again with impatience and anxiousness. “Let's go do something, your not working right now anyway.”

“What do you mean do something? Do what?” Blues opened his eyes and looked up at him with a half curious glance.

“I dunno, get out of here, we can find something to do. What do you say?” Zero's eyes became pleading and hopeful, he didn't want to be alone,he didn't too well on his own, he hated it in fact, and he also hated being bored.

“No.” Blues said simply and callously.

“Aw come on, why in the hell do you wanna just sit here, you are the most boring person I have ever met.” Zero wined, he sat down again in front of Blues and looked at him scrutinizingly, “How do you just keep from going crazy.”

“Unlike you, I don't need constant stimulation. I actually like peace.” Blues leaned forward and looked back at him with the same look with a sarcastic taint to it. “Do you know what that is? It's still, it's quiet, it's when your not being constantly bothered.”

“Yeah, sure, I know what it is, to a point, then it's just boring.” Zero shot back. “How can you stand being with yourself?”

“Tch, I actually like myself, I'm not annoying.” Blues fired back just as hard.

Zero smiled softly and looked upwards innocently.“You think your not.” He mumbled.

- ! -
*Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right*
- ! -

“What?”

Zero became immensely satisfied when he heard the twinge in Blues' voice. “Nothing.”

“Nothing my ass.” Blues growled, his eyes narrowed dangerously.”What do you in those hours when normal people sleep?”

Zero restlessly fell backwards and stared upward lazily, he didn't respond immediately, and his expression remained unchanging.

Blues leaned forward and looked over him curiously, all at once he felt suspended, as if his mind had simply stopped and began bracing for impact. Vague thoughts ran through his mind quick and dry, just barely strung together by experience learned logic, it couldn't have been more then 3 seconds until he reached the end of the thread .Was something wrong, was he alright? Maybe he wasn't, did he hear him? Maybe he didn't. He does look curiously similar to those other times he just stared out in to space, was Zero fading out again? “Zero?” His voice was tinted with more questioning then he realized.

“Well...just about what your doing now.” Zero finally answered.

Blues' body eased away from the tension it was gaining and he released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. It was subtle almost, Blues barely realized his body reacted as if it had just been hurled off a cliff every time he got the barest hint that something was happening to Zero, he always stalled, he was always unsure of what was happening, or what to do. It was all so quick and inane it was completely separate from his consciousness, it was as biological as his breathing, it was as habitual as his concern for Enzan. But this was different, it was just foreign, confusing and annoying enough to stick out to him enough to be contemplated. “Really...”

“I've been doing nothing but sitting by myself for hours, is that peaceful enough for you?” Zero asked with a voice of self-complacency, a smugness that could only come from the feeling of a small victory. He sat up and leaned forward, bringing himself face to face with Blues, a deviant smirk on his face and a juvenile glint in his eyes. “Let's go some where, do something, you must be bored.”

Blues closed his eyes and looked away, but he couldn't help peeking at him, and inevitably, silently relenting. “Fine, if it'll shut you up.”

Zero smiled brightly, “Heh, heh, So where do you wanna go?”

Blues glared at him and growled. “You mean to tell me you've been bugging me all this time and you don't even know where you wanna go?!”

“Well, I was hoping you could pick out a place.”

“Idiot...”

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“No way.” Enzan pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning against opposite of the fourth vending machine he'd come across and began walking, deciding he'd had enough rest. Just as the first two he'd come across, the machine was empty. It was understandable, he'd decided, since the first vending machine was right in front of a string of this floor's server rooms, where the engineers had been working, and a good 35 percent of the staff were engineers. Hell, they made up 40 percent of the staff that was actually here. They were working hard, they got hungry, he understood that, sure, and since food now was a limited commodity on this god forsaken rock, it would be understandable that they would clear out those vending machines. And by all means, that was fine, Enzan had decided, so without grudge the boy painstakingly made his way towards the next machine. Though his memory of the building's landscape wasn't that good, since he often didn't focus on details as he should have, he nearly got lost, for a person of his condition that was not a good thing.

With a dull numbing starting to form in his left leg and limp increasing, Enzan made it to vending machine number 3, and he wasn't happy to find out it was broken due to fire, or smoke damage more accurately. There was no way in hell he would mess with it, and he had to remember to call disposal and.... call....call? '!!' “Damnit!” Enzan flinched and stopped abruptly at the sudden realization that he was so busy thinking that he'd forgotten about the open phone in his pocket. Enzan leaned against the wall again and pulled it out, hurriedly bringing it to his ear, “Hello?” Only to find the line blank, apparently they'd stopped putting him on hold long enough to answer, and he'd missed it. Son of a bitch. 'Why don't I just give up on this?' He wanted too, he really wanted to, but he needed staffing, preferably before the 7am shift, that's when most of the boats that came to his island departed..

- ! -
*Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came*
- ! -

Damnit, why did he have to think so much, where was the focus? With a grunt of annoyment he began redialing the number, waiting for an answer as he continued his search for food. He moved slowly, still holding one hand against the wall while he balanced the phone between his head and shoulder. He felt as if his limb was gone and had been replaced by something artificial, he was balancing on something stiff where his left leg should have been. It wasn't painful at the moment, so he could bare it. Though as much as he discarded it, it did unnerve him, to be suddenly losing function in legs. How bad would this get? Could he really end up... Enzan shook his head 'Stop thinking.' It was no use thinking about such things, he couldn't do anything about it...'I wonder how Lan's doing.'

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Blues' callus disregard fell away and he was helpless to nothing but stared in a reluctant awe, watching as both pairs of wings appeared on Zero's back, the snowy white wings overlapping the deep black ones stretched out to full span. Blues quickly shook his head and looked away with annoyment, embarrassed for having been so fixated on any of Zero's features no matter how uncommon it was. “Show off.” He mumbled.

Zero leaned forward and sneered at him tauntingly. “Whatever.” Then his eyes flickered the light of an idea as if he'd just realized something, he was often late on his comebacks, but in his defense he didn't nearly have the experience Blues had in arguments. He pointed “Your one to talk! Mr. I'm so cool.”

Blues smirked with a condescending amusement, there was something he always entertaining in watching Zero get so worked up. “Your such an idiot.” He said with a small laugh.

Zero grew even more angry when he saw Blues simply laughing at his anger, he folded his arms and turned away, his wings drifting over his shoulder and hugging over his chest defensively. “Asshole.”

“Wuss.” Blues scuffed, he looked towards the half-navi to get a glance of his face, only to find he wasn't there. '!!' Before he had a chance to question it, he felt two arms slipping underneath his arms in a locking hold and Zero's chest against his back, right before he saw Zero's chin rest on his shoulder.

“Whatever!” He grinned devilishly as he flapped both wings and shot upwards in a sharp burst, dragging Blues with him.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop!” Blues couldn't contain the startled yelp that forced it's way past his lips as he watched the ground plummet from underneath his feet and he felt the strong surge of downward wind and the nauseating pull on his stomach.

“Your not afraid are you?” Zero taunted, it was amusing, to see something this uncommon, this inconceivable made him feel a little giddy even. The completely unshakable Blues was most definitely shaken, Zero leaned forward even farther to catch a glimpse of the Navi's face and the startled expression was burned into his memory along with the few other faces of Blues he'd rarely seen beyond the callous stone expression.

“Stop damnit! Slow down!” Blues shouted, his voice a lot less startled and far more threatening , he sent a sharp elbow backwards into Zero's side and flinched when he felt the impact through Zero's body. He subconsciously reached up and grabbed on to Zero's arms, shifting a little,

Zero's wings stilled and stretched out full, bringing himself and Blues to a complete stop much faster then Blue's would have liked. “Ow, Geez, you didn't have to hit me.”

Blues slumped weakly and tried to settled his pounding heart, hoping to relax enough not to scream in frustration. He shifted his legs around as if he'd somehow find something stable enough to support his weight so he could walk away and regain some semblance of himself and the control over his fate he had on the ground. But of course there was none and he forced himself not to cling to Zero, at lest then he'd be on something solid and stable maybe he wouldn't feel like he was about to fall so much. “You son of a bitch, what the hell are you doing?” He snapped furiously, his voice dangerously low.

“I didn't think you'd get so scared.” Zero's small voice was quelled slightly from fear, but still remained and contemptuous victory.

“What'd you just call me!?”

“Hey, calm down, I *am* holding you you know.” Zero said in a matter-of-fatly tone, growing more satisfied by the second. His wings beat in a soft, steady pulse, keeping them suspended where they were.

“Yeah, about that.” Blues looked back at him with a glare as dangerous as his voice. “Put me down. And if you call me scared one more time I'm gonna strangle you.”

“Tch, if your not scared, then why are you holding on to me?” Zero asked, indicating his arms where Blues' grip still held on to him, though not as tight as it once had been.

'??”Blues looked to where Zero's arms were still hocked underneath his own arms, and found that his hands were still clinching Zero's forearms, he promptly removed them, looking away with disregard. “That was nothing.” Just a reflex, that was all, that was it.

“Well, what about now? Why are you still so jumpy?” He asked, half to prove Zero wrong, but also out of a growing curiosity. There was always something that made him feel hopelessly immature against Blues, as if Blues had infinitely more knowledge and experience in every aspect, and he was merely a young, admiring child that wanted to learn and be acknowledged by him. Dispite the fact that Blues's constant insistences on solitude and his isolated nature never failed to agitate him, Zero was constantly trying to understand him. It was a challenge, since Blues constantly pushed him away, literally, but he'd still persist, he was starting to think a little too much for his own good.

- ! -
*Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness*
- ! -

“I'm not jumpy.” Blues protested, “Just put me down.” But as usual, Zero didn't seem to be listening to him, the half-navi was fixed in his own world, his attention was focused more on trying to construe something out of every one of his actions then complying with his requests.

“Oh, I get it.” Zero stretched forward and leaned as far over Blues' shoulder as he could, he looked into Blues' eyes as innocently and simply as anyone, even more so considering what he was saying. “Your scared I'm gonna drop you. Don't worry about that, I'd never drop *you*!” He exclaimed brightly, a wide grin spreading across his lips, the argumentative tones in his voice were completely gone, replaced by friendly, casual one. As if what he was saying was absolutely nothing, if it wasn't at all an infringement on Blues' pride and his ego, as if it wasn't at all insulting to him.

Blues folded his arms and looked away angrily. But try as he might he found he couldn't be angry at Zero, when he saw that innocent look on Zero's face and knew he didn't mean to insult him, he wasn't arguing, shifting from combativeness into his normal, idyllic self like a swift mood swing. Though that certainly didn't calm him down any. “I'm not scared.” He growled again.

“Yes you are.” Zero shook his head, disputing Blues with a playful tone. “I'm not gonna drop you, really, I know what I'm doing.”

“Tch, like I'm gonna believe that.” Blues half mumbled.

“Ahh, so you really *are* scared!” Zero exclaimed with a child like excitement, having found an evident weakness in what seemed like the impeccable Blues. “I told you.”

“I'm not scared! I just don't the idea of an idiot like you carrying me.” Ok, maybe he was a little unnerved by the whole thing, he wasn't particularly afraid of heights, but he was afraid of Zero, of the possibility of him making a mistake more accurately. “Just put me down.”

“Really?” Zero was a little disappointed, at lest Megaman had had a little bit of fun, Blues on the other hand was hating this completely. “Cause' I'm not gonna drop you, really!” Zero wrapped his arms tightly around Blues' chest and held him with a firm security.

“Whatever, Just put me down.” Blues declined. He felt nothing now except sullen anger and a crushing sense of shame. He couldn't calm himself down, he couldn't force himself to relax, he couldn't even appear to be unphased. He hated the fact that Zero was the person that got him this shaken up, he didn't want to react this way, especially after he'd went through so much trouble to try and convince him that he wasn't afraid of him. He couldn't stand it, what was even worse was the fact that Zero was witnessing it all, whether the half-navi was taking notice to it or not.

Zero was too busy trying to convince him other wise to notice, or particularly care, “Oh come on, don't be like that, I got you.” Zero was starting to get the sense that it was less about Blues being afraid of falling, as it was Blues being afraid of what he'd do. The last thing Zero wanted was for it to be him, though, it seemed unavoidable. ”Really Blues, I'm not-”

“Stop saying that.” He grumbled, his annoyment increasing. “I'm not afraid.”

“Of heights maybe...You really think I'd drop you though?”

“How the hell would I know what you'd do?” Blues snorted. His uneasiness grew the longer he was suspended, he sifted his legs around and felt even more strongly how he was helplessly dangling, as if he was stretched over some void and about to fall in, only something was delaying it.

“I know what I'd do, and I'd never drop you.” Zero said, pleading to making him understand, trying to convince Blues that he should trust him. It felt strange, actually being the one trying to convince himself to Blues for the first time, he felt an introverted worth from this, that he could . “I'd fall myself before I'd let you fall, hell, I'd die before I let you fall.”

Blues looked up at him queerly, 'W-where is this coming from?' He was knocked off balanced by it at first, but he began to feel silly for being surprised by anything Zero did. He was so random, it was just his way, and Blues expected it from him. “Just put me down.” He mumbled, looking away reluctantly, listening inanely to the sound of Zero's beating wings sloshing through the air in a heart beat like pulse. He didn't yell, he felt too guilty to yell.

“Why, what's so bad? I know your not afraid of heights, so what's the problem.” Zero knew he was annoying Blues, he knew he was making him more furious by the second by continuing to hold him here against his explicitly expressed will. But he couldn't help himself, he always pushed these things, as if he was expecting Blues to say something but he didn't know what it was exactly, he only had the vague feeling that it was bad.

- ! -
*And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life *
- ! -

Zero seemed obsessed with it, Blues wasn't exactly happy with the fact that that he was still holding him, and focusing on somethings he didn't exactly want to think about, or want Zero thinking about. “I don't like it ok?! Stop talking and put me down!”

Zero's expression dampened to one similar to that of a chastised puppy and he pulled back from over Blues' shoulder.

Damnit! What the hell was that? What was that look? And this churning feeling of guilt that started in his stomach began, as if he had done something wrong when he normally wouldn't have been so inclined to feel this way about being harsh. He hated it because he was helpless, weak, he could fall at any moment and could do nothing about it, he was afraid because he had no control over anything. He was completely in Zero's hands, the faster and higher he went, the more dangerous it seemed to become, even if Zero was fairly competent at this this. He had no control and he was entirely in someone else's, that was a dangerous place to be. He didn't trust Zero that strongly, he didn't trust anyone strongly not to be afraid. He didn't have a grip on anything, so he felt that anything could happen and there was nothing he could do about it, wasn't he right to be uneasy about that? Wasn't he justified in being a little afraid? So he shouldn't have felt bad about this right, so why did he? 'Damn Zero!' This was why he hated him so much.

He was reluctant to admit it, even to himself, but he was starting to feel as if he'd committed some nameless wrong, and the growing, unpleasant feelings it drew raised his anger. If only it was so simple as to walk away, it was unfortunate that he was hanging here since there was no place to go.

“I get it...I can understand that. I mean if I were in your position, I guess I wouldn't want someone like me carrying them around like this either.” Zero conceded his defeat, finally accepting his answer, though sullen.

“No Zero it's not about that!” Blues quickly objected, with a venomous tone.

“I'm not talking about what your thinking!” Zero shouted back, almost offended that Blues didn't give him enough credit, though, who wouldn't make that mistake with someone like him. “It's not about me hating myself, or something like that...Anything could happen to me at this point, I could just drift out... then what you do,I wouldn't trust me either.” Actually, he never thought that, he started to feel even worse for bringing him up here with out himself as a lifeline.

“Zero...I-I” Blues was at a loss, he didn't know what to say. Damnit, Zero caused him a lot of problems, he never had to go through so much trouble with anyone else. He never had to go through the anxiety of explaining himself, his actions, his words, he never had to put aside his pride and make awkward steps to compromise himself for someone else's sake. He constantly found himself in a state of annoyment, anger, uncomfortable, awkwardness, and even embarrassment around the half-navi. Why did he put up with this? Why did he constantly put up with the person who caused an uprise of uneasy, unwanted, and vaguely similar feelings? It was almost like fear what he felt around Zero, why did he remain around someone who created such a weakness in him? “Zero! Damnit! I'm not scared your gonna black out or any of those other weird things you do!” He shouted, he was angry because he knew Zero was always in an inner torment of pain, and he felt as though he was powerless to help him. So frequently he held towards him an attitude of iron reserve, never allowing it completely enter his consciousness how fully Zero hated himself, how ashamed he was of his existence or the constant pain Zero felt of being comprised of two sides toxic to each other. He never allowed himself to be empathic to it, to even try to understand what it was like, and it was all conscious efforts to do so. It was an uneasy, awkward, painful thing to care for someone, and Blues sensed the moment he allowed himself to contemplate the full scope Zero's existence beyond what he'd already had, he'd start to feel empathetically horrible. So he ignored him, he pushed him away, he shut him out, he screamed, he fought, he became inanely annoyed. But he still couldn't stop himself from worrying, from wondering about him, from putting up with this torment all together. Why!? It wasn't logical to stay around someone who did this to him! Was it not better to have never allowed Zero to be near him at all then to have to feel embarrassed and uneasy and worry and go through this? Wouldn't it be better not to have know him at all then to feel this dreaded-

“You are, you'd have to be to-”

“I'm not! I just don't like it, so shut up and put me down.”

“No way, your such a lier Blues, not till you admit it.” Zero protested stubbornly.

If Blues could reach him, he would have Zero as hard as he could. “What the hell is wrong with you? What is it that you want to hear me say to you? Your not some kind of monster that's gonna go crazy or something like that, your just an idiot, a stupid, annoying idiot, and that's it!” Blues half yelled. “I'm not afraid your gonna drop me, So stop saying stuff like that!”

“You really think so?” Zero asked.

“Didn't I just say so? Stop being stupid!”

“Then...” Zero's voice trailed off, and he didn't speak for a moment, but eventually he forced the words out. “Then just trust me.” Zero's voice was almost pleading, he needed this in way.

Blues thought that hanging his head and looking mutely at the ground was a kind of confession of his agreement and a petition for this to be over, but Zero had either not noticed it or accepted it as such, after a lengthy silence he was impelled to speak again to ease the tense swelling in his chest. It was incredible to Blues that what he did or the words he spoke could evoke such passion from anyone, how could anyone care so much about what he said... “Why are you so sure I don't?”

“Your not even trying!”

Blues became even more angry, damn him, he wouldn't be contented until he said something at one extreme or the other, why didn't he just let him be? Why didn't he just allow him to remain indifferent as he wanted to, he didn't want to insult Zero strongly, nor did he want to put himself completely out in the open. Grudgingly, Blues said it, for Zero's sake. “I trust you! Goddammit! I trust you alright! What do I have to do to make you understand that!” He had grown to trust him, despite his attempts not to, it had happened anyway. It wasn't a thing he exactly wanted to admit, it made him feel vulnerable, to place his self and his pride in the hands of some one else was dangerous, to reveal a thing that felt like a weakness. It would have just been easier to remain behind an indifferent wall.

“You....You really....”Zero paused and shook his head. “Then if you really do trust me then what's the problem?”

“Don't you listen idiot, I... don't like ...*this*.” Another thing Blues was reluctant to admit, he looked away uneasily, if his trust in Zero wasn't a weakness, this most definitely was.

“...” Zero stared down Blues, silently contemplating, if Blues wasn't afraid of heights, or speed, or the factor he himself posed, then what was it? Why did he hate this so much? Why would Blues.... “Well then I haven an idea.” He announced.

“For goodness sake, just put me down already!”

“Hold on, just hear me out. All you have to do is get on my back.”

“What?” Blues what a little surprised at the suggestion, and quickly declined. “No.”

“Come on, I'm not asking you to do a lot.” Zero commented, “Just get between my wings and grab on to my shoulders.”

“Why are you-”

“You just said you trust me, so just climb on.” Zero said, his face solemn, but his eyes held a silent questioning, almost a pleading. “It'll be much better, I promise, just try it.”

“...” Blues was silent, wordlessly staring up at Zero, studying the look on his fas in bewilderment, he'd never seen that expression on his face before. And the way he spoke, it never failed to throw him off balance when Zero spoke so seriously, it was something that made him take notice, it held his attention in an almost captive fashion. Zero... why did he want this so badly? “...” Blues tore his eyes from Zero and stared off again, inwardly debating on a subconscious level with himself...Fine, for Zero's sake, he did seem to want it alot. “Fine.”

Zero grinned. “Ok!” He grunted and began raising Blues up higher, and sloppily the two of them began shifting positions, it was not the most delicate of actions, nor the most graceful, it certainly wasn't a comfortable transfer. Blues managed to turn himself around so that he was face to face with Zero, and then began climbing him as best he could. With his hand around Zero's neck, he planted his foot on Zero's stomach and tried to pull himself up. “Ow, ow, ow!” Zero winced and buckled forward a bit, beating his wings harder to keep from losing balance. “Take it easy!”

“I can't take it easy!” Blues grumbled, trying to get enough traction for a small boost but as soon as Zero moved he was a lose finger away from falling, and Zero was moving around a lot. “Hold still.” Blues' foot slipped for the third time and he was left dangling with Zero's neck as his only support, and again he planted his foot on Zero's stomach and tried to lift himself up, as quickly as possible before he ended up choking him.

“I can't hold still, it hurts.” Zero again felt his body bending and instinctively he began pounding his wings to attempt to straiten up again. But it was too late, he felt himself bend and Blues slip again and reflexively he wrapped his arms around Blues' waist to catch him.

“This was your idea.” Blues lifted his knee to Zero's chest , clinched on to his shoulders and pushed upward. With Zero pushing he finally managed to rest his knee on Zero's shoulder and from there it was a few awkward movements until he was hanging off of Zero's back between his wings. He let out a breath of relief.

Zero glanced back over his shoulder at Zero.“Your not gonna hang there like that are you?” Having Blues hang like that didn't seem to inhibit the motion of his wings enough to affect flight.

Blues glared at him, it was embarrassing hanging here like this, and if he saw Zero's face twinge with the slightest bit of amusement, he'd hurt him. “What do you suggest?” He asked snidely.

“Climb up a little.”

As much as he hated this position, Blues was reluctant to move, he wasn't sure exactly what he could do with out hurting him. After a small delay he nodded reluctantly, cautiously pulling himself up until he could place his foot in between the space between his wings. Slowly he stood up, one leg hanging off weakly, his hands still holding tightly on to Zero's shoulders. “Is...is this-”

- ! -
*Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best*
- ! -

“Do you know how much pull on my back it is when I take off?” Zero laughed, “Do you know ho much tension is on that spot? I can't even feel my back, let alone feel you.” Zero looked around, reaffirming his surrounds, before he turned his head over his shoulder and looked up at Blues. “So, just tell me which way to go.”

“Huh?, But your-”

“Really, just tell me which way and how fast.”

Blues looked at him with uncertainty for a moment, unsure what to make of this. But it did feel better, being up here on something stable, holding on to something instead of being held on to. In fact, it had the potential to be quite nice. “...Yeah...”

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

4' o clock, in the morning. Even now, this late at night, or early in the morning more accurately, it wasn't quiet. There was always the dull sounds of distant voice, or the sound of something metallic, people working, it had all become merely ambient noise.

Enzan fell back on to the wall with a sharp grunt, his hand holding futility on to the flat surface for support, but it was no good, he only managed to ease his fall, not prevent it. It took a few seconds, but he'd finally sunk to the ground against his will, and almost immediately his hands reached out and grasped his legs tightly. “...” There was a hard, hot tingling, like boiling water pint up in his muscles, and instinctively Enzan rubbed them furiously like a dog licking it's wounds after a fight. “Damn things.” He cursed them, he cursed himself for his weakness, there as nothing he could do. He didn't try to stand up again, he knew his legs would have just faltered underneath him, and the reality struck him that he was stuck here until his legs rested enough to continue.

Gaaarrroooouuuuu

Enzan sighed and let his head fall back against the wall as he heard his stomach growling. Blues, he had to be the one to blame for this, he was angry at Blues for reminding him of his hunger, but he was angry at Blues most of all because he had been right. Maybe he should have stayed and rested. “You just had to be right didn't you?” He mumbled. He was stuck here, in this white hall with white floors, and white walls, and florescent lights, surrounded in the ghostly company of the distant sounds of work persisting all around him. It was distant though, he never seemed to be close to it, he felt as if he was just a wondering ghost separate from the world, and no matter how he tried he couldn't return.

“Why here?” He moaned, the last thing he wanted was for someone to happen to come this way and see him like this, he didn't want to have someone help him, though at this point he wouldn't refuse it. Why didn't they bring him some food while they were were at it! Sure he'd figured food would be an endangered commodity, but he didn't think it'd be this scare. Enzan slipped his hand into his pocket, and after a moment of shifting, managed to pry lose his phone and lift it to his ear. Still on hold of course, but to it's tribute, it had only been a minute and a half since he last checked.

Maybe he could order something? Nah, Enzan shook his head and quickly dismissed the thought, it must have been the hunger that caused such an idea, that was stupid. Who would deliver all the way to an island? 'Maybe if I paid them enough.' He thought to himself... A moment past, and he found himself staring at the phone like a starving man at his first scrap of food in a week. He couldn't possibly...could he? Could he just abandon his second chance at reaching this ever elusive outsourced staffers? Whose idea was it to have such a vital part of human resources department work off site? Even if the did work on site, would they be here at 4 in the morning? Wait...'What was I thinking about...?' He was tired, and his generally forgetful mind seemed to get even worse. The point was, who know how long it would take to reach them again...Although, he hadn't reached anyone who could do anything more then transfer him yet this time and it'd been an hour...'What am I suppose to tell them? I'll be in the middle of hallway 2C?' Enzan shook his head, noway, this was stupid...

Gaaaarrrroooouuuu...

Enzan looked down at his stomach with a wilting expression forming on his face, the hot, tingling feeling in his legs was being swallowed by an even hotter sensation of itchy, prickling pressure pushing against his skin. He certainly wasn't going any where...'If Lan could see me now.' He thought to himself, he could see it so clearly, the worried look that so frequently tainted those brown eyes when ever Lan looked up at him. It was different from when Lan looked up at Megaman, there was still worry, but also a different quality between the two gazes, he wasn't sure what it was. 'Why am I thinking about this now?' Enzan shook his head with disregard and ended the call, he was starving, and there had to be some one willing to deliver. If there was, they would have his eternal gratitude and a large tip involved.

“Hello?”

'Huh?' Enzan looked down at the phone in his hand, 'Clumsy.' He really had to pay more attention, what number did he just dial? Damn head, why did he have to think so much? The boy quickly lifted the phone to his ear, “Uh...Hello?”

“Enzan?”

“Mr. Hikari?”Of all the numbers, Enzan couldn't believe he just dialed this one. Maybe it was just subconscious, he was too distracted to think about what he was doing and he'd inadvertently dialed this one.

Enzan heard Tadashi speak sleepily on the other end, his voice deep, low, rumbling and sluggish with semi-consciousness. “What is it?”

“No, sorry, I dialed the wrong number.” Enzan apologized. “I didn't mean to wake you.”

“If your looking for Lan-”

“No, that's not it.”

“Oh...well, since I'm up anyway, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing awake at 4 in the morning? I'd assume someone in your condition would be asleep.”

Enzan sighed, again picturing just what Blues would say if he could see him right now. “Yeah well, I haven't exactly had much time for it.” He replied half heartily. “Again I'm sorry about this, I was trying to call someplace else.”

“I'm a bit curious as to what.”

Enzan shifted his eyes away as if someone was watching him, an embarrassment from a tight knot in the depths of his stomach, he didn't respond at first. “...”

“Enzan, are you still there?” Tadashi asked curiously, then he quickly became worried, “Are you alright?”

Enzan quickly snapped out of it with an anxious start, the worry he heard in Tadashi's voice was like a a sharp nail being driven into his chest, it was the last thing he wanted to hear in anyone's voice when they spoke to him.“No, no, there's nothing wrong, it was just that I was a little hungry and I was uh...” he was in such a hurry to convince Tadashi everything was fine that he'd ended up telling him anyway, he quickly became embarrassed again, and his words stumbled off.

Tadashi laughed softly, not exactly a welcome sound, “At 4 in the morning?”

“Yeah, I know.” He half mumbled. Enzan was about to quickly taper off the conversation and hang up, but Tadashi spoke before he could.

“I know that feeling. I've had a lot of late nights myself, trust me, you'll never find anything.” Tadashi told him, his voice still high with amusement, and quickly awakening. “Hmm... You know what, I'll just bring you something, I know a great restaurant that's always open.”

“Huh? What? No way, Mr. Hikari, I really didn't mean to wake you up.” Enzan declined.

“Heh, it's no problem, I was getting up soon enough anyway, I've got a lot of work ahead of me.” Tadashi assured. “I'm just stop by the hospital and-”

“I'm not at the hospital Mr. Hikari.”

“Huh? Really? You left? Don't tell me you went back to-”

“Yeah, I'm here.” Enzan peered down both ends of the hallway, feeling as if he was the only person here.

“Lan's not with you is he?”

“He's still at the hospital.”

“Hn.” Tadashi sounded a bit relieved at that, “Why did you leave?”

“There's was no reason to stay.”

“...” Tadashi was silent for a moment, “Well, then, I'll come there.”

“What?” Enzan looked towards the phone in surprises, his voice filling with astonishment and at the same time a measure of bewilderment. “You can't come here.”

“Nonsense, it'll be no trouble at all. Besides, I can see how Zero's doing.”

'Zero?” Zero was here?...It shouldn't have surprised him, Zero did always seem to appear at the oddest times, like 5:30 in the morning. “...Y...Yeah, ok...” Then he had nothing left to do but accept, it wasn't like he was going anywhere.

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

“Well?” Blues folded his arms and looked at Zero expectantly. Zero only rubbed the back of his neck and looked away like a reluctant child. “Are you gonna help or not?”

Zero stood a good distance away, trying his best to be inconspicuous for once. He wasn't exactly content to be by himself in a corner what seemed to be a million miles away, but he felt other wise he'd be in Blues' way “I...” Zero had to consciously force himself to keep from shifting, he knew Blues would have just gotten annoyed at it, he didn't feel much like calling attention to himself. “I, Uh-”

Blues rolled his eyes, Zero's attempt to be evasive was annoying in and of itself. “What's with you?” He asked grudgingly, he seemed to be in a constant state of mild aggravation when Zero was around, no matter what. “You coming or not?”

“I...Uh...I'm just gonna stay over here...out of your way.” Zero smiled nervously and slouched back against the wall.

Blues simply left it alone and returned to his task of salvaging what data he could. Zero was able to get him into areas he couldn't reach on his own, with so much corrupted data there often was no path to speak of to reach certain areas completely surrounded by damaged files and virus remnants. This was one such place, it was like an island, nothing else could reach it. “...” It wasn't more then a few seconds before Blues looked over his shoulder again, he tried to ignore it but it nagged at him incontestably. Which was why he hated Zero so much, there was always something about him on his mind. “When as that ever stopped you?” He half mumbled.

“Huh?”

“I said what's wrong with you?” Blues lied, “You were just irritatingly happy, now your standing in a corner acting weird.” This work, it was like digging through the ground blindly for something, only you didn't know what you were looking for until you saw it. It was hard and consuming, and normally a menial, engulfing task like this would be enough to keep his mind off of everything. He had no such luck when Zero was around.

“I'm not acting weird.” Zero retorted.

“Your not acting normal.” Blues corrected. “So what's the problem?”

It astounded Zero that Blues was actually asking him this, dispute the fact it seemed to be about of annoyment then actual concern. He timidly folded his arms and looked toward the ground. “Nothing, I just don't wanna be in your way.”

It was strange to Blues that Zero would actually say something so oddly unannoying, to hear him talk in this manner, it made him suspicious. He didn't want to think that such a thing could be possible, but he knew Zero pretty well, and and he knew that tone of voice, that reluctant demeanor. It all seemed unnatural, fake. And that's why, with a deep sigh, Blues stopped what he was doing and turned towards Zero completely, his eyes studying him closely. “The hell you don't.” He snorted with a cold amusement.

That callus, nearly arrogant response from Blues instantaneously ignited an infuriation in Zero. “What's that suppose to mean?”

“If there's one thing you do badly, it's lie, your faking it.”

“What would you know?” Zero grunted, he nearly took a step forward but managed to say still. “I am not.”

“Really? Then help me.”

Zero looked at him with the same angry glare, his mouth opening as if he was about to speak, but no sound came, and it was clear he was trying to think of something to say. He abandoned it in the end, staring at the ground with remnants of the frustrated anger still visible on his now what seemed to be disappointed face. “I can't ok?” He spat bitterly.

'?' Blues abandoned his position all together and walked towards Zero, curiously. “Yes you can, it's not like it's complicated, just-”

“No, I can't.” Zero shook his head, he wasn't as timid as he had been times before, or particularly reluctant, he was just evasive, something not nearly as severe. And he seemed to be willing to open up more willingly, where it generally took a great deal of force and screaming from Blues to draw it out. “I...I don't think I should.”

- ! -
*Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence*
- ! -

“Why not?”

“Well, it's all...I mean...I...” Zero rubbed the back of his neck again and fixed his eyes past Blues at the mounds of corrupted data among other things surrounding them. “I did this..”

“Not this again.”

“No, I mean, all this corrupted and infected data, I don't know what's gonna happen to me if I start messing with it, I don't know what I might do.” Zero said.

Blues continued to study him, watching his form, observing his face carefully. He started to recognize more and more things about him, he remember others more distinctly, he could tell when Zero was looking for something to say to change the subject, or about to lie. He noticed how Zero's eyes always looked away before he began to stare at the ground whenever he was thinking foreboding thoughts like this. How his fingers always began to rub against uneven surfaces whether it be on a wall, floor, or an object, when ever he was anxious and didn't want to sit around anymore. Out of everything he'd observed about Zero over all the time he spent when him, that was something that stood out to him them most. Blues wondered why for a second, Zero at the very least could be described as an energetic person, (Or a manic one), such habits were to be expected and certainly wasn't something that should stand out... “And what is it you think you might do?”

“I said I don't know, for all I know I might turn into that... *thing* again.”

“Tch.” Blues rolled his eyes and moved towards Zero with quick steps that were almost menacing. “The hell with that.” Without warning he seized Zero's hand and walked away, pulling him sharply behind him.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” Zero's voice carried a sharp aggravation, but was more startled then anything, and it showed on his face.

“Your gonna help me.” Blues said simply, as if it was a clear cut matter, dragging him closer and closer to the masses of corrupted data.

“I-I can't.” Zero shook his head almost fearfully, his expression became tense with a strained fearfulness as he began to resist. But it did no good, Blues' tugging kept him too off balance to do anything to stop himself let along the navi.

“How do you know that? You acting too much like a wuss to try.” Blues scoffed. He'd heard a phrase many times in his life, Treat the disease not the symptoms, or something to that effect. Generally he'd heard it in a business related context, so he wouldn't have expected to think of it now, but it fit, because he wasn't going to try and get Zero's mind off of it, or try and convince him other wise. Why do that when he could just stop the thoughts at their source.

Zero began to grow uneasy the closer he got, he tugged back, trying to free himself. “What if I turn into that thing again, or go crazy or something?”

“You won't”

“But I-”

Blues stopped when their space ran out, and all that was let was one of the many sectors of corrupted data on this server. “I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, ok! I'm not gonna let you go crazy, or change into some monster, or let it hurt you, ok!” Blues growled, half shouting.

Zero started at him speechlessly, blinking questioningly, “You...You-”

- ! -
*Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along *
- ! -

“Stop stalling.” Blues planted his hands on Zero's back and pushed him forward. “Shut up and go already.”

Zero stumbled forward at the sharp shove and came to a near stop in front of the surge of now useless data that blocked the way like a multi-car pile up on the highway. '!!' He cringed as he began losing his balance and tipping slowly forward. “Whaa!” Finally he was unable to stop himself and he fell towards the data, immediately thrusting his hands out defensively to cushion his fall. '?' Zero opened his eyes cautiously, he found he hadn't sunk completely, his arms sunk in to about his elbow and then reached more dense surfaces. He watched the broken and unintelligible streams of unmoving data, frozen completely in an uneasy tension, waiting. '?' He drew his hands back and looked down at them curiously, 'They don't look any different...' And he certainly didn't feel any different.

“See, you get it now?” Blues asked, his voices throughly annoyed as if this was one of many things he didn't want to have to deal with, and it was.

Zero slowly lifted his head and looked at Blues with a truly confused look on his face. “Um...Yeah.”

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

The halls were so white, so clean, maybe it was simply his tired eyes playing tricks on him, but they seemed to glow with a subtitle white light. They were all similar, and they all blurred together like the small print of a book when he didn't have his glasses on. They were all the same more or less, holding small differences like trash cans, door arrangements, chairs, markings on the walls and other monotony, but eventually even those weren't enough to distinguish one glowing white corridor from the others. Eventually he'd come across one that had fire damage, varying in severity every time, those had become like place markers, if he some how got turned around, he'd be able to get a general idea of where he needed to go to get back on track.

Tadashi stopped, he paused to set the bag in his hand down on the ground against one of the white walls then shoved a hand into his pocket, digging around until he found a small cloth. With a yawn he lifted his glasses from his face and wiped the lenses absentmindedly, another anxious habit he had. “You seem to like white, all of this bright light gets blinding after a while.” He lifted his hand and smiled with a small greeting.

Enzan looked up at the man acknowledging, still sitting in the same spot, against the same wall as he had been when he'd mistakenly called Tadashi. He could smell the scent of familiar foods from the bag that rested on the ground beside Tadashi's leg, it it was still hot. He cringed when he felt his stomach begin to voice it's anticipation in a loud rumble. “It wasn't my idea, I didn't have a hand in building anything.” He responded with little thought.

Tadashi tucked the cloth back into his pocket and replaced the glasses on his face. “Here you go, I hope you like it.” He handed the bag off to Enzan who accepted it gratefully.

Enzan nodded a small thanks and began looking curiously in to the contents, as soon as he opened the back the aroma grew exponentially stronger and he could tell what was inside with out looking. His mouth began to salivate a little, and his mind vaguely recalled Lan again. Enzan smirked a little, 'This must be what Lan feels like when he eats...' It wasn't nearly as bad as Enzan thought it would be when Tadashi showed up, it wasn't bad at all, in fact he was pretty contented that the man had come all this way, even if it took an hour and a half.

“Seems like you've been here a while.” Tadashi commented, he rested his back against the wall beside Enzan and slipped his hands into his pockets, looking off into the glowing whiteness the hall seemed to fade into. Something he attributed to problems with his eye sight. “When was the last time you ate something?”

“I don't know, a day or so.” Enzan shrugged. He never was one for details, he never remembered things like times, dates, objects, when he was working his memory got even worse. He forgot to do a lot of things more often then not, this wasn't the first time he forgot to eat, or sleep. “I guess I just lost track of myself.”

“I feel better now that I know I'm not the only one.” Tadashi smiled and laughed softly, “I must take myself too seriously. Or it's probably just me getting older.” The more Tadashi became wrapped in his work, especially nearing the completion of a project, the more disjointed from the world around him he became. It started off simple, like where he'd parked the car, and tasks he was suppose to do, and eventually it became falling asleep in his office and living off of coffee. He was nearing that stage with his research on Zero, the only things that prevented it was his son being in the hospital and Zero's reminders. “That's a sure sign you'll be really successful.”

“Heh.” Enzan shook his head, drawing out of the bag a styrofoam container holding pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage, and other things that blending together. “I hope your right, or else I'm screwed.” He could only imagine where this state of mind that didn't remark details could lead. “How did you get here so fast?”

“Wasn't hard, having reached seniority at a job like mine has it's perks.” Tadashi said.

“Hn...” Enzan nodded. “How's Lan doing?”

“The same more or less, he hasn't gotten worse.” Tadashi blinked and looked away from the hall, his eyes were starting to hurt from staring into the white distant for to long. He glanced at Enzan with a fleeting gaze, watching the subtle, reserved concern on the boy's face. “I assume your not doing too much better.” Tadashi inferred that easily enough, since this was an odd place to sit down, and by the way he held his legs, which were the general source of his problems.

“...” Enzan didn't respond, he only ate silently. After a few mouthfuls he spoke again. “Did you...find out anything that could help Megaman?”

“Well...” Tadashi's finger played softly with the cloth in his pocket and he adjusted his glasses unnecessary. “Not directly...but with a little more work, possibly. I know I'm at lest on the right track.” Tadashi looked down at Enzan, fully this time. “I had no idea you were so concerned.”

“Yeah well...” Enzan quickly looked away, his face regaining structure it had lost and his voice growing on a new distinctness, feeling embarrassed for ever having brought it up. “Lan would be sad, and Zero would...Who knows what would happen to him.”

“Ah, for their sake.” Tadashi said resoundingly.

“Yeah...exactly.”

Tadashi found it amusing, and could only attribute such elusiveness to Enzan's age . “I see.”

“...What about Zero?” Enzan asked reluctantly.

“Now that, *that* is something I'm certain I can deal with.” Tadashi nodded, “Given enough time.”

Enzan nodded, quickly shoveling more food into his mouth. Given the news, and Tadashi's nearly excited demeanor when he spoke about it, he could barely quell the smile that was coming to his lips. He felt a dire need to say something to avert any thoughts from it, “That's good, Blues would hate to lose his new friend.”

“I bet he would.” Tadashi looked away with a small smirk, deciding just to go along with it.

There was a small silence that formed between them, Enzan sat eating in silence, though was too hungry to really notice. Tadashi was thinking of something, and it was plain to anyone who took the time to look. “Why did you leave, the hospital I mean.”

There was a delay as Enzan finished chewing his food and swallowed. “It was staring to wear on my nerves.” Enzan told him simply.

“Even still, you couldn't have tolerated it for your own sake?” He asked, his voice still holding a casual, passive tone, as if it wasn't a concern. He didn't want it to seem as if he was pushing Enzan.

“Tch, I'm fine. And besides, there was way too much work to be done.”

“What about Lan??” Tadashi asked. “I could barely get him to go as it is, then you leave...”

“...” Enzan was silent, his mouth hung open silently as his searched for a response, but there was none. Maybe... he should have stayed for Lan if nothing else. 'Lan...'

“You could just be hurting yourself by pushing yourself like this.” Tadashi told him. “You really should go back.”

“...There's no reason.” Enzan shook his head. “At lest not on my behalf. Anything that can happen to me here would have happen to me there just the same, so I might as well be here and get something done.” Enzan was a little glad that Tadashi had said that, this was something he could deal with, this was something he had a valid reason for, this reason was something he could put all of his anxiety into and contend with logically. The subject of Lan wasn't, he couldn't find a reason for leaving Lan, he couldn't even convince himself, but at the expense of his safety he could.

“I don't think that's true. Not under this strain, not under this stress--”

“Nothing here could be any worse then that damn place.” Enzan cut him off bitterly, his voice defensive and hostile. Just as soon as he realized himself he quickly looked off and stifled the strong emotions slipping into his words.

“You can't honestly believe that Enzan.” Tadashi argued, “Whatever's wrong with you, could only be made worse here. You haven't slept or eaten since you left the hospital, you've been doing nothing but working for hours strait, one day here is probably worse then 6 at the hospital.” He was concerned, which was obvious by now. “Enzan you have to go back-”

“No.” The boy grunted fiercely, shaking his head stubbornly. His eyes narrowed angrily, staring off into the white halls opposite of Tadashi, his body was visibly tense, clear to any observer. “No way, don't tell me that. I'm not going back.”

“...Enzan...” Tadashi didn't understand, why was he so adamant about this? Some one as rational as Enzan would be so erratic, he wasn't even listening to clear cut reason. He was acting like Zero, he wanted to believe one thing, he needed to believe one thing and Tadashi didn't know why. Was he simply restless, was he bored? “Enzan, this isn't-”

“I know I'm being stupid, ok?” Enzan cut him off, keeping his head turned away and his eyes narrowed sharply. His voice was ruff and hard, a deep sullen anger held up in it's tones, Enzan drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs, hugging them tightly to his chest so tensely he trembled slightly. “I know that!” He yelled, his voice jumped sharply, and for that moment Tadashi could hear the trembling in his words as well. “But you don't get it.”

- ! -
*And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you *
- ! -

“...” Tadashi was silent, knowing that if Enzan was going to tell him, he was going to tell him on his own or not at all. Any coaxing would only aggravate him farther, then there was no chance he'd say anything then.

“...I...don't know what's gonna happen to me...” Enzan looked up slightly, a light of realization in his eyes, then he shook his head. “I mean, I do know what's gonna happen to me, that's the problem.” He sounded frustrated, and he was, which was why he was so tense. “My legs are halfway gone and theres a good chance the rest of me is going to be shot to hell right after. No body can stop it! So there's no way in hell I'm gonna just sit around and rot, if I'm gonna be...If I'm gonna...” His life was spiraling out of control, out of his hands, and he was afraid, truly afraid. He needed to feel that he had a grip on something, anything. He needed to feel some since of control, so something could be rational, something could be safe.

Tadashi opened his mouth to speak, but he stalled and eventually remained silent. He could have said something, but someone like Enzan would have probably just found it patronizing.

Ok, he'd admit it, at lest for now. He was scared, Enzan decided, he wasn't just afraid of becoming permanently paralyzed, he was afraid of what life would be like afterwords. Not just that he would be piratically immobile, and that his life as he knew it would be completely different, it was the thought of being helpless, it was the thought of every one...of everyone... Enzan shook his head and dispelled the thoughts, he couldn't think about it, he pushed it aside and severed the rush of even stronger emotions off at their source. “I'm gonna do everything I can before then.”

“If...it does happen and you can't walk anymore, do you really think you wont be able to work anymore?” Tadashi asked, “Do you really think you won't be able to do anything anymore? Because only one thing will really change.”

“*Everything* will change.” Enzan retorted curtly, a bitterness seeped into his voice. “They told me it's not just eating away muscle anymore, it's starting to attack nerve endings. Everything's starting to fill up with puss, and it's gonna kept going till there's nothing left. Even if they do find away, by then it'll probably be too late. “

“...” Tadashi readjusted his glasses and returned his hands into his pockets. “I take it that your father doesn't know about what's happening to you.”

“Tch.” That was a definite no.

“...”

“It's...It's already going...everything is just getting away from me.” Control, all of his fears steamed from them. No, he wasn't really afraid of being paralyzed, he was afraid of losing control over his legs, he was afraid of losing control over what he could do and where he could go, he was afraid he couldn't control how people thought about him, he couldn't control how they treated him, he couldn't control anything. He'd been fighting for it all of his life, and just as he'd finally got his own shot at business, he finally got a chance to control definitely where his life went....An unstoppable virus spawned, his island blew up, Lan and himself got hurt, anything could happen to his navi's best friend at any moment, and he was on the verge of losing his ability to walk. Did Tadashi understand this? Could he possibly understand that his life was slipping through his fingers like water and no matter how hard he tried to grasp it, no matter how much he tightened his grip by leaving the hospital, but coming back here, by working his ass off, it still was slipping through.

“Enzan.” Tadashi sighed. How could he argue with him? Enzan was a kid that thought his life would be over in the next few weeks, though Tadashi himself could handle the possibility to being paralyzed from the waist down, but for someone as young as Enzan it was a life ending event. What could say to that? There was nothing he could possibly tell him that would ease those anxious feelings, and if he tried he'd only make things worse. Enzan liked to do things on his own, he liked to build up something with out any help from anyone. And now he figured at this rate he'd be nothing more then a weak, helpless mass. He wasn't even holding out for the very real hope that something could be done about this. There was nothing he really could do for Enzan. “At lest try and get some rest then.”

“...”

“And...” Tadashi paused, maybe he could say something. “I know...everything feels hectic right now, every thing's so crazy you probably don't know which way is up. I know you feel like your life's being shot to hell and every thing's so out of place that you can't do anything it. Believe me, I do. But it's not.” Tadashi pushed his glasses up with his fingers and looked away from the side of the hall he'd been watching too long. “These are the time when every thing's the clearest, if you calm down and pay attention, you can see everything better then you've ever seen them before.”

“...What do you mean? What happened to you.”

“Well, when I was around your age...” Tadashi's voice trailed off, and he stared off with sullen gaze, as if he was watching something strongly unpleasant play out before his eyes. After a few, silent seconds he lowered his head and his focus returned, his expression holding much less light then it had before the silence. “Nevermind, it's not important. Just remember to lift your head and look around.”

“But...how is that suppose to help me?” Enzan asked, rather curtly.

“Well...maybe if your able to see things with a clearer prospective, you can get a handle on things and you won't feel so helpless...not that your helpless or anything.

Enzan didn't look up when he heard Tadashi push off of the wall and began walking away with slow steps. “...Thanks. “

“No problem.”

! - ! - !
! - ! - !

“Why is this so hard...” Zero groaned softly, his body had developed a dull ache from an hour and a half of contentiously and dutifully digging through the corrupted data, side by side with Blues, searching for anything usable. Blues had shown him what to do, and what to look for exactly, and so far Zero had found a lot of examples of what they couldn't use, nothing they could.

“What did you expect?” Blues' voice fluctuated with strain as he slipped his hand into the wall of still data and began prying it apart. Generally data was distinct, sharp, like the floor, or a wall, or any number of structures, but when the data was corrupted it wasn't nearly as sharply, it bulged and protruded in places, it cracked and was much weaker. Weak enough for Blues to cut and pry and force it apart. “Corrupted or not, data's still data.”

It became more dense the deeper they dug. “Why do we have to throw all this stuff away? I mean, can't you do something with it?” Zero drew his sword back and plunged it into the corrupted blockage, then he planted his foot on to the wall and began trying to pull pieces of it apart.

“No, you can't.” He said simply and distractedly, like one speaking to a small child asking a string of questions, and they had stop paying attention completely. Blues was calm, his mind was lost in his task and felt as if he was moving solely on muscle memory, he was so calm that it was almost like being asleep

“Too bad.” Zero shook his head disappointedly, “And your sure we can't use any of it, cause all of it doesn't look that bad to me.” As hard as this was, Zero felt good, he had more work then he could handle to deal with so he wasn't bored. And he'd never seen Blues like this, he was so focused it was like watching him sleep walk, it wasn't bad, it was just different then his usual experience.

“What does that mean?” Blues asked more out of habit then out of a curiosity to know, he'd resolved hours ago to stop trying to understand Zero, for all of his idiotic simplicity, the inner workings of his mind was something too complicated to understand. And there was always something new.

“I mean, some of it I understand, so I thought that maybe you could do something with it.” Zero set his sword aside and slipped his fingers into the craves that had just been created. With all his strength he tried to pry it open farther apart. 'Damn this is hard!'

Blues paused and lifted his head, looking over at Zero curiously.“What do you mean? It's all the same thing.”

“Nah, there's some stuff that's different.” Zero shook his head, pointing out something among the dense wreckage that looked more like a cave in the anything. “A lot of it's the same and I can't really read it, but some stuff like that looks different.”

“...” Blues leaned over and looked at it closely, and on it's inspection he found Zero was right, it was different. “That's stuff left over from the virus.” Blues have mumbled, it was mixed in among the corrupted data, fragments from what once was infected, now corrupted itself, to broken and fragmented to have any affect at all. Interesting.

“Oh...that's it.”

Blues immediately looked back at Zero, his eyes holding a harsh scrutiny that made Zero nervous. “Your not gonna start acting weired and annoy me are you?”

Zero lifted his hands concealingly and shook his head quickly. “No...”

Blues gave him a once over look, and then went back to working. Continuing on their pace for about 30 minutes or so, until finally Zero drove his sword into the mass of corrupted data far enough for it to support itself and fell backwards on to the ground, heaving in deep breaths. “I gotta stop.” He exclaimed, resting one hand over his pounding heart.

“Your seriously tired?” Blues folded his arms and looked down at him with his usual indifference.

“Don't look at me like that, it's not my fault!” Zero hunched over a bit, clinching his armor tighter. He had tried to keep going, but as time progressed he started to feel worse and worse, and it became harder and harder to preform the strenuous work. The deeper he went, the worse it became, first it was simply a small headache, then light started to make it worse, and sound, until it became a hard pounding that sent shockwaves through his body.”I don't feel too good...Besides, I don't think I'm strong enough to go deeper.” Zero clinched his head and cringed, Zero didn't know what nausea felt like, but he had no doubt it was something like this.

“What's wrong?”Blues sat down beside him and immediately began sizing him up. He hated this! Every time, every single time there was anything that wasn't right with Zero he began feeling this worry, and his thoughts fixed on him as if he was a puzzle contentiously taunting him, intriguing something deep inside of him that he never knew he had to the point where it became almost panicked, near-obsessional for the duration of the worried feelings. Here he went down this familiar track, compulsively trying trying to fathom what could be wrong, and what could be done to stop it.

Zero looked back at him cautiously, his eyes carefully searching Blues', debating with himself. “I don't know, my eyes are kinda blurry and I'm seeing double, my head is killing me. I don't know what's wrong but I'm hot and itchy all over.” He said, carefully lowering his guard where he normally would have been inclined to lie and become evasive. Before he had been worried that Blues would start seeing him in a certain light, that he would become somehow afraid, and he felt a crushing shame. Now he felt a little safer, a little more trusting since Blues made it clear that he wouldn't react as he had expected, and demonstrated it a few times already. Though, he still felt a deep shame that made him reluctant, he felt like he could somehow trust Blues. “I'll be alright...I just need to catch my breath, that's all.”

- ! -
*Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life *
- ! -

Blues reached over and gave Zero's forehead a sharp jab with his finger, he could feel the beginnings of sweat forming on his skin, and saw the first drop stream down from his hair underneath his helmet. “If your that hot, why don't you take off some of that armor.”

“I'm not *wearing* anything under the armor.”

Blues sighed and shook his head,“Of course your not...”He muttered half sarcastically, as if he should have been expecting this. “Then at lest take off the helmet.”

“Nah, I'm alright.” Zero shook his head timidly.

Blues rolled his eyes, 'Someone as invasive as you doesn't get to be defensive.' When Zero had said that, Blues' motives shifted from something for Zero, to satisfying something that felt intimately close to concern. “Stop being so scared and take the damn thing off.” He grunted.

“It's fine.” Zero defensed.

Though Blues knew if it really was fine then Zero would have just taken the helmet off and avoided a needless argument...he really was starting to understand Zero, much to his dismay. “Nothing's ever fine with you.” Blues reached over swiftly and snatched the helmet from Zero's head before the half-navi had a chance to hinder him.

“!!” Zero immediately flinched and looked quickly over at Blues, his face completely startled and his body frozen with an inane sense of fright and dread for a longer time then he would have liked to admit. “...” He was speechless, his eyes shifting nervously up to his forehead in a futile attempt to see what lay up there, then back to Blues with an uneasy anxiousness.

Blues looked inside the helmet absentmindedly, and found nothing but a small bit of sweat lining the inside. He became a bit curious when he looked up and saw the look on Zero's face, and he needed only glance up a bit higher to where the golden strands of hair began and saw a large, gaping scar of healed over flesh where he'd been bleeding before. He lifted his finger and ran over the spot with a soft stroke, he could feel Zero shutter and saw his face cringe, not out of pain but from some unknown fear. 'Your always so scared...' “Why are you acting like that? It's not even that bad.” Blues snorted.

'Huh?' Zero wished he could see it more the ever, he had no idea what was up now. “I...Uh...” He nearly blushed, Blues had some how made him feel more embarrassed then afraid and ashamed. He had always felt that he wasn't right, that everything about him was wrong, and when something strange, something that wasn't right, some oddity appeared on the outside, that feeling became a hundred times worse. He always panicked, he always became afraid, he always felt this immense shame, so he always hid as much as he could, and avoided anything that would expose them. But...with Blues...

“Take a rest.” Blues climbed to his feet and began walking back absentmindedly toward the wall they were digging through, “We can start again when your ready.” He called back, looking over the wall curiously, examining it closely for the first time.

He never had to hide anything with Blues, even though he wanted to, even though he was always so afraid that Blues would start thinking of him strangely, that he would see him as he himself saw, and he never did. A part of him was staring to believe that Blues never would no matter what strange things happened to him, no matter how bad everything became, despite the fact a much larger part of him was sure that Blues would eventually start to hate him, just as a navi if nothing else. “...Yeah, ok...” Zero nodded gratefully, he crossed his legs and planted one hand on his knees for support. He held a hand against his chest though he couldn't feel it through his armor, taking in breathes that contentiously became deeper and more labored. After a moment he began to feel uncomfortable in his own body, and the itching grew more intense as the sweat began seeping through every pour of his skin. 'It's not getting better...'

Blues examined the wall, thinking that it looked more like a hardened crust containing a mix of data then everything. When he looked closely enough, he could still distinguish the parts that were infected, not as easily as Zero but... 'Wait...' Blues looked back over his shoulder at Zero, listening to his heavy breathes, watching his back expand and contract, his shoulders rise and fall with each gasp. He felt a pang at the thought, an uneasy feeling bubbling up in the pit of his stomach and swelling in his chest. 'Maybe that's happening because of the infected data?' He thought. He was starting to feel worse and worse about this, Zero had been so afraid that something was going to happen to him, and he promised him that nothing would... 'Damn, he's gonna blame me for this.' No, Zero wouldn't, but he still felt guilty, he still felt uneasy, he still felt worried...

Zero closed his eyes and tried to contemplate every part of his body, and if he concentrated hard enough, he found that he could felt a pressure on the side of his lungs, as if some force had struck it and it collapsed under the pressure. The growing pain from his head that seemed to have traversed over his entire being made it hard to distinguish anything else underneath it. It became especially strong in his back, the pressure made him feel as if something was trying to rip through his skin. '?' A tug came softly from his shoulder, “Huh?” Zero lifted his head questioningly, finding Blues was holding his shoulder, looking down at him expectantly. “What?”

Blues couldn't seem to look him in the eyes, feeling uncomfortable being completely conscious of how worried he was, and even more uncomfortable showing it, in any form. This was why he hated Zero!! “Any better?” He asked, an embarrassment burning in him, his pride screaming at him to relent this, that putting himself out like this was dangerous, that everything he said in did would be used against him eventually, it was better to be defensive. Speaking and acting like this felt so unnatural that the ever cautious and alert part of him ached to stop, but even that didn't hinder him.

“...” Zero still didn't respond immediately, he didn't feel right, and he'd known soon enough that this was probably was something related the many things wrong with him. Deeply and subtly he felt like he was being repulsed, like those times he'd became sleepy and was surrounded by nothing but static, he felt as if he was being pushed out of his body, only conscious enough to feel it, it made him visibly fearful. He wanted to hide, to leave so Blues wouldn't see him like this, he felt like he was transforming into a horrible monster. “... No.” So this was what it really felt like to be slowly dissolved, to be overtaken and phased out of existence, the wrong side of him was starting to win.

“...” Blues was tormented by the sight of Zero like this, he didn't even know what was wrong but he knew it must have been painful for for him. 'I've never seen anyone sweat like that...' “Lift up your arms.” He said commandingly.

“Wha? Why?”

“Your hot aren't you?” Blues asked gruffly, and Zero nodded, “Then lift of your arms.”

Zero silently complied, feeling Blues grab on to the armor around his chest and began pulling it upward, Zero shifted as necessary to ease the removal. The sweat combined with the tightness made it cling slightly, there was an audible release as the last bit of the armor was lifted from his skin, and immediately a burst of much cooler air surrounded his heated, damp, bare chest and back. It felt so good...a bit of relief was audible on Zero's face. But he still felt the pounding headache, and his vision remained obscure.

Blues set the chest plate carefully aside next to Zero's helmet. “Any better?” He asked, his voice was unusually quiet, unsure, he clearly didn't know what he was doing, or what he should do, or what he should say, and even if he did he was so embarrassed he might not have said it at all. He was trying to retain some of his pride here, by remaining as indifferent, calm and as uncaring as possible, though he got the feeling it wasn't doing that well.

“...A little.” Zero nodded. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, both hands clinching his forehead so tightly his fingers trembled and became pale.

'Zero...' Blues felt worse, when he said that he wouldn't let anything happen to Zero, he was just saying that so he could get over his fear...right? He himself had to have known he wasn't serious.. so why did he feel that way, why did he feel like he had done something wrong by this... It felt like...failure... Blues stood idle, his body wanting to do one thing and his mind was too busy thinking to pay attention, finally he relented to his body, he sat down beside Zero and rested his hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly to regain his attention. “What's wrong with you?”

Zero lifted his head and looked up at Blues, “I don't know...My head feels like it's splitting apart, and every thing's distorted, I'm still seeing two of everything..” Zero said...and then his expression became sullen and his eyes depressed, the thoughts in his mind played out in silence on his face. “I feel like something is trying to bust out of me or something.” He smiled weakly, managing to laugh softly. “With my luck it'll be some horrible monster...”

“Baka, nothing could be worse then you are already.” Blues snorted callously, all the while he was he was studying Zero with a meticulous scrutiny, searching for something recognizable that he could handle. “You could be so useful if you put the effort you put into thinking like that, into something helpful.”

Zero smirked. “Heh, maybe...”

The twinging pang in his stomach became worse, Blues knew that whenever Zero didn't get angry that he'd taken a shot at him, whenever he simply just relented and gave that smile. He knew where Zero's thoughts were, and he didn't want Zero's mind to go to that place, he'd spent a lot of time and effort to stop him from thinking like that. “Your not stupid enough to believe that somethings actually coming coming out of you are you?” A hostile, defensive, prideful concern.

“Well, not exactly like that.” Zero shook his head slowly, careful not to make the pulsing headache worse then it already was. He had to restrain himself from not scratching every reachable surface of his body, but the heat was starting to die down, the sweat cooling on his skin, and slowly but surly it took the itching with it. “But...something...No, I don't wanna think about it.” He abruptly decided, 'Blues would just get mad at me...' “I don't wanna think about it.” A fearful recoil back into safer topics.

“Then don't.” Blues said simply.

“It's not that easy.” Zero told him. “I can't just turn it off...”

“Then think of something else.”

“Like what?”

- ! -
*As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed *
- ! -

Alright, Blues decided silently, he could do that, how hard could it be to get someone to think about something else?...He was curious about something, though he wasn't sure if he should... “Why don't you tell me what your doing with Tadashi?” An absentminded inquiry

'That's not much better.' Zero sighed to himself, but he'd tell Blues anyway, simply because the navi wanted to know. It wasn't often that he got to talk to Blues like this, in fact he wasn't sure it had ever happened. So just for that reason he'd do it. “Not much too it really, he was studying Megaman, now he's studying me.” Following Blues' lead.

“What's he trying to do?”

“Fix both of us.”

“Well, did he find anything? Is he close at all?” Blues found himself taking a particular interest, and he felt foolish for how strongly it captivated him.

“I'm not sure what he found.” Zero's voice grew softer and softer until it was nothing but a whimper, his clinched his eyes shut again with a hiss of pain, the light felt as though it shined a burning path into the center of his head. “...” The pounding headache became a constant throb that scattered his senses. “Nh...” A short, sharp moan slipped out that was stifled just as quickly as it had come. “But I think he found...one thing...that he could use.” A physically weak, and mentally reluctant statement.

Blues inanely tried to maintain the initial feelings and impressions he had of Zero in any situation, rather then try to change them. To him Zero was a hyper, annoying idiot, and no matter how deeply he saw into him, that was all he'd be, because it was just easier, simpler that way. But it was getting harder and harder as time went on, what things he'd set his mind on, those indifferent, aggravated feelings were changing into something completely new to him, something strong. He didn't like it, he didn't like feeling this strongly either way about anyone, maybe he was scared, because the nervous and every aspect of his mind screaming danger felt just like fear. “What's that?” Distracted curiosity.

Zero took in a deep breath, his words were normalized this time.“He's not telling me about it, but I think he might have found something he can use against me.”

“What do you mean use against you?” A sharp birth of concern.

“In case I lose my self or something.” Zero said. “So you can stop me.” An throwing the subject into a much wider field.

“What the hell.” Blues growled, feeling an annoyed anger rising up inside of him. He was amazed at how easily he said it, as it was nothing, as if he was nothing.“Stop saying that, your not gonna do anything.” An aggravated, forceful attempt to dissuade.

“Blues...” Zero's voice trailed off , his hand drifted up with out thought and clinched his chest, pressing against his pounding heart, he could feel the rapid rise and fall from his harsh breathing. “Seriously, I wasn't so sure about it...” His words were broken up by his gasps for air, “But, the way I feel now...I know it's gonna happen....” A labored admission devoid of any feelings of self- value.

Zero fell on to his back, rolled immediately to his side and curled into a ball, holding his head like an injured child trying to nurse his wound.

Blues didn't want to voice his concern, he didn't want to ask if Zero was alright, since he clearly wasn't, he didn't want to ask what he could do because the was nothing really. He hated that he was idle while Zero was in such pain, the problem was with him, so there was no way Blues could hope to stop it. “Stupid Baka.” Blues leaned over Zero, had he not been so distracted, had he been thinking unclouded thoughts, he would have realized his actions, how close he was getting, and everything he did thereafter, and never would have done them. Blues grabbed Zero's shoulders and rolled him on to his back. “You've given up already, no, forget that, you'd actually have had to have been fighting once to give up.” He snorted. Softly he took each one of Zero's wrist and pried his hands away from his head. “Didn't I tell you I wouldn't let anything happen to you.” His pride part of him began to stand aside, if only for a moment, even if he didn't realize it.

Zero forced his eyes open, and his vision was greeted by the blurry image of Blues, half fading into the light around him. He squinted and strained his eyes, sharpening the world a bit. He smiled weakly, 'Blues...' He always looked up to Blues in some sense, like a child looking up to an older brother. He was drawn toward him, his completely callous demeanor, and contrastingly completely involved anger. Blues acted completely different towards him, different then anyone else, but yet, he always felt this sense of... well, he didn't know what it was, but it was warm and it made him feel as though he could always come back. He felt more then anything else that Blues was his friend, even as angry as they made each other most of time. His voice was softer and weaker then ever. “I guess it's official now.” A weak teasing, and the prelude to a final resolution.

Blues was anxious, more then ever, a considerable amount of time had passed and whatever this was had lasted far longer then any other strange thing that had happened to Zero before. Maybe there was a little more to this then he'd realized, maybe something was happening to Zero... An uneasy tension came into his form, almost as if he was anticipating something to happen and was ready to react. 'Damnit Zero.' It made him angry, and he hated Zero for causing him to feel like this. “What's official?” Questioning.

“We must be friends now.” Zero smirked. “Cause when I'm with you...I don't have to pretend like nothing's wrong, like I'm fine, like every thing's together, I can just be my self... “ The final resolution and consummation of friendship. Yeah...maybe he was starting to believe Blues when he said he wouldn't let anything happen to him, besides Tadashi, Blues was the only person that could make him believe something like this...He felt a an assurance in those words that made him thankful, but guilty at the same time, he couldn't place that burden on them. Something was going to happen to him, how much trouble would it be for them, how much would they have to put in this because they didn't just destroy him when they had the chance? How much pain, trouble and effort would he cause them? He couldn't...

“...” 'Zero...' Blues felt the familiar embarrassment return, and he lifted his head and looked away. For a moment he forgot his tension and could only think about what had just been said to him, awkwardly trying to figure out what he could do next. Why did he have to go and say something like that? He didn't know how to respond to that..It was all natural, habitual to him, it seemed normal to place blame upon others when something incomprehensible created an awkward, uncomfortable turmoil befell him. Zero, often suffering from depression, wasn't susceptible to the same error. Blues always repelled, and Zero always retreated. But Zero retreated less and less now, and Blues pushed less and less, and now this had happened, and Blues, bewildered, had no idea how to deal with it. It seemed he wouldn't have to though, just as quickly as Zero had brought his mind to the subject, the half-navi changed it. “Zero?”

Zero was silent, his eyes wide and searching though he wasn't searching his surroundings, he was searching his self. A glow, a pang in his chest, a shudder, a fullness of breath, a flutter of the heart, a shiver down his back, his entire body trembling. He searched for the cause, for some source, but he could find nothing save himself, it was as if his entire body was trying to push him out, trying to separate in some way. It was a soul wrenching pain, and he could barely keep from crying out in agony, “Damnit...” He mumbled softly, he rolled over out of Blues' grasp and curled into an even tighter ball. He shouted, his voice taunt and strained with the pain. “I can't... I can't take it!” A breaking point.

“Hey, hold on...” Blues slipped his arm around Zero's back and pulled him up into sitting position, but Zero was so disoriented that he couldn't keep his balance and immediately tumbled backwards. “!” Blues threw his arms around him and pulled him upright again, holding on to him securely. “Can you hold your self up?” He asked. A heart crushing worry.

The pain developed from where it centered in just his head until it had spread throughout his entire body, a hard pressure pushing against everything that seemed as if it would explode. “Goddamnt! Stop messing with me and just kill me already!” He screamed, and his body seemed to cry out in unison. Every fiber of his muscles, every thread of his being was weak, tired and longed to simply die, his body wanted to sleep and never wake up and never feel the pain of his existence again. He'd never slept before, and by no means should he have known what it felt like, but his body seemed to know on it's own and sought it out. He closed his eyes and was silent, just sleep and never wake up...

“Zero!” Blues shouted, Zero was quiet, his face became still even while his body trembled, and he could feel the heat that had once covered him starting to slip away. Ok, he was scared now, he'd admit, hell he'd scream it if it would help. “Hey! Get up! Your not gonna die!” He yelled, shaking him roughly. “Zero!” A desperate pleading cry.

It was too easy, he was halfway there, halfway away from the pain, halfway away from this depressing, tormented existence. He didn't know why this happened now, it was as if he was being given a one time and one time only way out, one last final agreement between both sides of him. It was almost ominous when Zero thought about it, the calm before the storm, “...It's better to just end it now.” He decided, unaware that he was speaking aloud. “Before it gets worse...” Lost of self-preservation instinct.

“What the hell are you talking about!” Blues growled angrily. Zero sounded so dazed and distant, like he was only talking in his sleep, which was what he was afraid of “Stop it!” Pleading.

Blues...he was so far away, his voice was a distant echo. Zero was sinking, drifting in a sea of darkness, falling deeper and deeper, farther and farther from Blues “This is it.” He thought, or spoke rather. “I've been waiting for this moment for all my life...” The moment when his existence would end. “Something...coming...really...bad...should just go...now...” His words became slurred and his body more limp “...” Ominous silence.

“Hey! Listen to me!” Blues screamed, “Damnit! Wake up! You don't have to die, stop being so stupid!”

Zero could feel his body jarring sharply and Blues voice, as softly as it was. “Blues...I'm sorry...I caused you...so much trouble...” He thought to himself, still mumbling in that weak voice.

“No, no, you didn't!” Blues was sure he should have remembered every bit of annoyment Zero had incited, every bit of frustration and anger, but for some reason, right now it slipped his mind. “Just get up! Your strong, I've seen you, you can fight this! Damnit just get up!” Strange things began to happen to him, he could feel his heart pounding, he could hear it in his ears, he started sweating nervously, and his mind raced anxiously. So this was what it was like, to be truly afraid.

“ I'm...too much...I'll...” Zero's breathing began to slow drastically.

“!!” Blues placed one hand on Zero's chest, he could feel the heartbeats growing harder, but the pace slowing, almost as if it was suffocating and struggling. “Zero stop it! Baka! Your the only person who could will themselves into dieing!” He growled in anger. He hated Zero right now, more then he ever had. He hated him for doing this, he hated him for not listening, he hated him for being weak and giving up, he hated him for forcing his way into his life and just dying when he was finally starting to get used to him!

“I'll..cause too much...I'll hurt you...like I...hurt...Megaman.” Darkness... eternal darkness, swallowing his body, his mind, and his sanity. He let it with his blessing, and hoped he'd make a good meal for it.

Blues shook his head, and felt silly knowing Zero couldn't see it. The heat was completely gone from Zero now, his skin was cold, and Blues awkwardly stripped off his helmet and removed his own chest plate, pulling Zero closer in an awkward embraces,placing his bare skin against Zero's. He had plenty of heat to spare now. “Not if you don't let your self! Not if you fight like I know you can! Damnit I fought you before, I know how strong you are. Your not gonna do anything unless you don't want too.” ... The opposite of love...it couldn't be hate, it had to be emotionlessness, indifference, not feeling anything at all. This hate for Zero was so strong, so passionate, so enthralling and all consuming. It filled him with an energy, it drew him towards Zero in a burning, physical way, although that physical way, that contact, generally was forceful. Maybe there really was a thin line between love and hate, because this was exactly how he'd heard love to be.

“I don't...wanna...hurt Blues....” This sea, it grew deeper and deeper, and the pressure grew heavier and heavier until he couldn't move his body. No air, he couldn't breath...he had no idea drowning took so long.

Blues pressed his palm harder against Zero's chest, feeling the struggling heart progress farther toward death with each moment. “You stupid bastard! What do you think your doing right now! Your gonna hurt everybody more dead then you ever could alive!” What had happened to his pride? His ever foolish pride that had kept him afloat, wasn't it suppose to protect him from these things, wasn't it suppose to make him indifferent to them so they wouldn't hurt so much? Where was his pride when he needed it, his pride was like a huge wall, and for everything said about walls the fact remained that you can't get hurt through walls.

Zero's breathing became so slow that after each breath Blues wasn't sure another would come after it. “ I...I... Mon...ster.”

His anger boiled over, the pang in his chest became like a dagger and he felt his throat choking. “You son of a bitch! Stop saying that!” He yelled, giving Zero another jolting shake, hard enough that he was sure it would have hurt his head. He felt his eyes begin to moisten and then burn, Zero became blurry, obscure, increasingly fading from his vision. “Your not a monster! Your the only person stupid enough to think that! Your the only one that can't see that your the...your the...” Sensitive words tapered off by choking tears.

Zero's voice became a breathless whisper, Blues had lean close to his mouth to hear it. “...horrible....Mon...ster. Shouldn't.......live.”

Blues shook his head with a furious yell, blinking back the tears. His clinched fist raised and pounded into Zero's face with a swift and ferocious blow. “Stop saying that! Stop saying that! Your not a monster! Ok! You aren't a monster!” He never realized how much he hated that, in fact he never realized a lot of things. He never realized that he hated when Zero said things like that about himself, maybe it was because he thought more highly of Zero then a glorified idiot. It surprised him, he'd spent so much time saying it that he actually believed it, or at least thought he did. “Wake up! Wake up!” A prideless plea.

“..............Hu..rts............No....mor..e...hu...rt~.” So this was what it felt like to die. It felt...good...he didn't feel depressed anymore, it didn't hurt anymore, the tearing conflicted in his mind and heart was quiet...finally. He wanted this, god he wanted this so badly...

“Zero!” Blues shouted calling out to him and hoping he could still hear him. His fist trembled at his side and he sent another sharp blow to the side of Zero's face, with no response “Damnit! Life is pain! Of course it hurts! You don't give up! You just get used it! Stop being so weak!” A sad, furious outcry.

Blues heard Zero take in a deep breath and his chest rose against his hand, higher then it had ever before, it was a hard gasp. Then all at once he expelled the air, it was as if a candle had been blown out, the half-navi faded completely. “...” Blues held on, his arms still wrapped tightly around Zero, holding him upright, his hand pressing against his bare chest so hard his fingers almost drew blood. Zero was still, and Blues trembled. “Zero!” Love sounds a lot like hate. Hate is strong, it's hot and hard, it's passionate, it's physical, it's hurt...So, what's it like to be in love?

Zero was cold now, unmoving, his body was pale and his heart twitched as if it was shriveling up in his chest.

Some say theres a thin line between love and hate, and if that much is true, love is over rated, because hate hurts. The forming moisture blurred Blues' vision until he couldn't see Zero at all anymore, and that's when it struck him, he was actually crying. Blues' fingers tightened around Zero's chest and felt the last, small beats of his heart begin to fade. “You bastard...” His voice was soft, low. “Your not a monster, but you never did listen to me, you were always too stubborn to listen to me! You know how annoying that is...that...was...” Blues dropped his head and he felt the first tear fall, and he felt embarrassed though no one else was here. His pride picked an interesting time to resurface. “I didn't hate you, I wasn't afraid of you, and I don't want you to die, ok? Maybe now you'll finally listen to me Eh Baka?” It hurt, oh god it hurt. His chest swelled and squeezed his heart, making it heard to breath, he was panting and gasping for air. He'd never felt anything like this, what pain could match this, pain that tore through his body, his mind, his soal. He felt like he'd been stabbed and would fall apart any second now, if only he could breathe... “You said you didn't wanna hurt anybody.” Blues could almost laugh at himself, a part of him began to stand aside, almost as if he was standing about himself watching with awe and humor at what he was now. “Well, I don't know how you did it, I don't know where you managed to hit me, but it hurts.”

He really had stood aside from himself, he must have he reasoned, because without a second thought he pulled Zero close to him and hugged him as tightly as he could. His body moved of it's own accord, hoping to feel Zero, feel the last bits of life and relish in it before it drifted away completely, only there was nothing but a cold and lifeless form. A few stray tears slipped out of his eyes and ran down Zero's back, his head was spinning, everything he did after Zero died felt like a dream, so he couldn't be held responsible for holding him like this, no, he couldn't be held responsible for crying, hell, it might have all just been a dream... “Idiot! You fucking Idiot! I hate you!” He shouted, his entire body convulsed violently as he broke down and sobbed with a harsh fury. “I hate you! I hate you ! I hate you...” Blues clinched him tighter, “I...hate ...you...”
Maybe there really was a thin line between love and hate.


- ! -
*He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came *
- ! -


*Wet*...? *Wet*... Warm.... too...it was warm... He was so close to the darkness, to sleep to rest... But it was cold there, it wasn't as warm. And faintly he could hear Blues' voice, to light it was nearly nothing , but it was so quiet here that there was nothing else to hear anyway. He wanted to sleep but...what was that warmth? He'd never felt anything like it...And what was that wetness, and...Blues...


“...” Blues' mouth fell open and he stared down at Zero almost frozen, unable to move, unable to think, for that moment he existed only to feel this faint sensation until he was sure. 'What...is that...?' He felt the heat being drawn away from his skin, then a cool burst flooded on to his chest, “Z-Zero...” It startled him at first, enough to make him flinch. He could feel Zero's chest rise sharply and pressed against his own, he could hear Zero taking in air sharply, he could hear him gasp harshly as he began to breath again. He could feel his heart jump start from some unknown stimuli, it began to pound so hard and suddenly that it couldn't have possibly have been getting any air at all. “He's...alive?” Blues almost did start to think he was dreaming, maybe he was hallucinating? He because uncertain of Zero's reality until he felt the deathly cold form begin to tremble again.

A smile forced it's way on to his face, he couldn't help himself, there was an immense relief that washed over him, the suffocating force was gone and suddenly he could breath again, leaving him gasping for air himself. “Zero!” He felt again how lifelessly frozen Zero was, so he held him there, it wasn't possible to do so any tighter then he already was.

! -! - !
! -! - !

It was 20 minutes before he felt Zero begin to feel warm again. The gasping breaths became calm and slow, the color returned to his skin, and he was still in Blue's arms. “...” Silently, Zero's sleepy blue eyes cracked open and closed again when it was struck with lights brighter then anything he'd ever seen. Almost immediately afterwords he comprehended the rest of his body and felt a dull ache of soreness, in the old headache's place a new pain now resided as his brain receded from his skull as if he'd just finished a night of hard drinking. His body was still cold, the dull chill clung to him. He felt like hell. 'Aw....' He squinted again when the lights weren't as harsh on him and looked around with new eyes.

He found himself sitting in Blues' lap, Blues' arms wrapped around his chest and stomach, he could feel the warmth of Blues' bare chest pressed against his back and realized this must have been the warmth that he'd felt, it was.. good. Even more notably Blues' head was resting against his shoulder as the navi slept uneasily. Zero tried to open his mouth and speak, but a sharp pain made itself suddenly known, this time he couldn't stop himself from wincing and letting out a soft moan of pain. “Un...”

Almost immediately after he made the sound, Blues' body stiffened fast enough to make Zero flinch and he sat up strait, his eyes shifting around almost if in confusion, then settled in down on Zero. “Zero?” He was speechless for a moment, sitting there with his an uneasy, tense expression on his face, uncertain of what he should do or say. He felt this disbelief that was like a haze, he wasn't sure if this was real, or just a dream giving him something he never wanted so badly in his life, maybe this was just a short reprieve from the pain. “Are you alright?” He instinctively asked.

“Everything...hurts...” He forced out weakly, with each movement he became more and more dull to the pain in his throat. “And...I'm...cold...really cold.”

He felt Zero shifted slightly in his grasp and he remembered that he was still holding on to him. He'd been doing it for so long that he'd forgotten. '!!' There was this strange need in his embrace when Zero was unconscious, but now he began to withdraw his arms slowly with embarrassment for having held him. “I was just-”

Zero shuttered when he felt the heat retreating from him, and without the stable arms and Blues' body to keep him from falling to the ground he quickly found out just how weak he was right now. His body began to faultier and he struggled to hold himself upright. “No...please.” he whimpered, not wanting Blues to leave him alone. He felt the crushing sense of emptiness return to him as if it had never left at all, and an atmospheric sadness returned to him. But with Blues close to him he at lest felt a little better, he felt safe, and there were no odd thoughts.

Blues was reluctant to remain, every second an awkward uneasiness burned in him being so close to a conscious and partially lucid Zero, holding him like this. But he was calm and he endured it, possibly from the relief he felt now that Zero was alive again. “Hn...” Still, in his mind he was scrambling to find something he could do to help him, remembering what he'd said about pain earlier. Maybe he could- '?' Blues looked down questioningly, watching as Zero dropped his head and began crying, completely silent except for the sniffles that crept through his tightly clinched lips every so often. “Zero?” Blues grew taunt, again, he didn't know how to deal with this, he didn't know what to say, what to do.

Zero held tightly onto Blues' arms, feeling unusually open and vulnerable. Doing his best to ignore the pain he turned around until he was facing the navi and buried his face into Blue's chest. The almost non-existent sobs grew louder, his breath grew heavy, and his body shook.

“Zero...Hey, Zero.” Again, Blues had no idea what he should be doing at the moment, he just wanted him to stop crying. “Don't cry.” He half pleaded, slipping his fingers underneath Zero's chin and lifting his head. He felt a pang as he looked into the sullen blue eyes, wet with tears. “Come on, stop crying..” He swallowed hard and continued trying to think of something to say to him, forcing himself not to push him away and retreat, god this was hard, but it was even harder to watch. Still fresh thoughts of Zero fading away in his arms flared up like an intense flame, and he wanted even more for Zero to stop crying, for him to be alright again. Though he wasn't sure if he'd ever be alright again, Blues would settle for Zero calming down at this point.

“I'm....I'm sorry...” Zero cried. “It hurt so much...I couldn't.. I couldn't take it...please don't be mad at me...” Please don't hate me... As much as he felt that Blues should inanely hate him at lest half as much as he hated himself, he didn't want him to hate him right now. Blues was the only thing keeping him from that painless darkness, and when he was with him at this moment, being held like this, feeling how warm he was, how strong he was in his arms, it made him not want to go back, it made him want to stay here like this. For the first time, he found something tangible something that really and truly made him want to be alive to experience, to be in the presence of.

“Of course I'm mad at you.” Blues blurted out, his self-control seemed to fail him. “Don't ever do that again or I'll kill you my self.”

The tears swelled up even more in his eyes, he started to feel as if he had missed Blues strongly for a long time, for an eternity. With a silent, trembling sob he threw his arms around Blue's neck, “I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry.” He pleaded, again starting to feel the feelings of deep self-loathing. “I just didn't want to-

Blues hadn't thought that Zero had heard when he'd said that. “Baka, stop saying that.” He said, closing his eyes and looking away with his characteristic level of of indifference showing on his face. But it was hard for it to have the same effect, it couldn't, not in this position. “I'm not mad at you anymore.”

“So you...don't hate me?”

“You really don't listen do you.” Blues snorted. “No.”

Zero squeezed him tighter, sniffling once softly. Then he lifted his head enough to see Blue's face, because of how tightly he was holding on to his neck they were close, their noses nearly brushed against each other.“...Thank you...” He felt really and truly now that he had a friend.

“Hn...” Blues grunted softly, looking into Zero's eyes, watching the depressed gaze with a captivation. He was waiting, hoping he'd see the look fade, but no matter how long he stared, waiting, it never did. And then suddenly the blue eyes closed he he felt Zero's lips against his own and he froze, sitting there with eyes wide, frozen.

He couldn't move, he couldn't think, he was only filled with this over whelming fear, and he suddenly became aware of how close they were, how he held Zero, how much of him he could feel. He stared at Zero, not sure how long he sat idle until a part of him began to stand aside and he timidly opened his mouth like a questioning child being coaxed into something he was afraid and unsure off, feeling Zero's tongue slip in, poking and prodding slowly and softy as if asking for permission.

He wanted this.. he wanted to hold Zero like this, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to keep him warm, he wanted to ease the tormented pain that followed him, he wanted to protect him from himself... Maybe it was because Zero had nearly died that he felt this, or maybe it had developed on it's own. But...this was Zero, he hated Zero, he was constantly annoyed by him, and no matter what he knew that would persist. He couldn't like him, he couldn't... It was right here, it was so close to him, and he wanted it, just as badly as he wanted Zero to live, just as badly as he wanted Zero to be ok...Blues closed his eyes and kissed him back, long and hard, studying the sensation of Zero's skin against his, his hand remembering the feel of Zero's dying heart, pushing him deeper. He wasn't sure, but he felt like he was crying again, and he couldn't help thinking that this was real, and he wanted it all the more because of it... He felt his eyes burn and an itching wetness creeping down his cheeks, 'Zero...'

Zero pulled back, taking in deep breaths. He smiled lightly, a hinting of his usual friendly smile with the last few tears slipping from his eyes. “I've never seen your eyes before... “

Blues became tense again, then quickly looked away with embarrassment. He couldn't describe how he felt when he saw Zero smile again.

Zero laughed weakly, remembering the image of Blues' eyes vaguely as he laid his head against the navi's shoulder silently. It felt worth it, all of the pain, the deep depression, the self-loathing, just for this. He relished in the moment as long as he could before he fell asleep again.

When he realized what Zero was doing Blues became a bit uneasy, but he didn't stop him. As awkward as he felt he didn't let go of Zero, he held him tightly, aware of every single motion, action, watching over him with loosely with a protectiveness. “Great, now I'll never get rid of him...”

- ! -
*Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life*
- ! -

! - ! - !
! - ! - !