Mega man Battle Network: Virus mutations

Chapter 20: Trust me

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Start paying attention to the weather ~ SDI

Trust me by The fray
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*...The rain's gonna let up today, these bright areas of green are showing lighter precipitation that is going to come down from the north east before sunrise. But that's not the end of it, there's another low pressure front coming off the ocean and that means cold air and another big temperature drop by tomorrow. Also, another big, slow moving storm front his coming off the ocean, that means heavy rain, and strong winds, a high wind advisory has been issued through out the entire area. We might end up with a severe thunderstorm watch from this squall, that has yet to be seen, but one thing is for sure is that the weather will be like this through out the rest of the week. Today's temperature will be in the high 40's and low....*


Enzan reached his hand out and grabbed a hold of a pole, leaning his shoulder against the slick surface for support. “Great, just what I need.” He mumbled bitterly, feeling the chill of the heavy rain soaking his skin and swallowing his senses in the cold wetness. He stood on the edge of helipad resting at the east end of the almost infamous island, he could still hear the distorted roar of the helicopter that carried him here in a phantom, residual echo. His heart pounded against his chest, racing so strongly that he felt an odd yet strong discomfort, he took in deep, gasping breaths in an attempt to quench it.

“I told you you shouldn't have left the hospital.” Blues spoke in an I-told-you-so-manner of voice. The P.E.T rested on Enzan's waist, safely out of the water's reach. It was 7 in the morning, but the black clouds shrouding the sky over head made it seem more like midnight. Soft currents of morning wind became a ragging torrent, whipping the rain into Enzan's face and a burst of skin chilling cold air with it. The boy lift his arm to his forehead to shield his face.

Enzan rolled his eyes, concern was so annoying, especially hostile concern, but the worst thing had to be that he might even be right. He knew that the fear of a serious diagnosis, of the claustrophobic, panicked, anxious feelings that had over whelmed him before had taken hold of him when he decided to leave. But he knew it in a way that kept it from coming to the forefront his mind in the form of a sharp, distinct, conscious idea. His confused emotions had made him feel instinctively that it would be better to grudgingly leave than to face another anxiety attack, or to rot away in a bed one day and wake up to find that he could no longer walk at all. He was running really, he was nervous and afraid for the first time in his life, and having little experience with these things he didn't know how to deal with it in any other way but to retreat. But he kept that knowledge of his fear thrust firmly down in him. his courage to live depended upon how successfully his fears was hidden from his consciousness. “I'm fine. Trust me.”

- ! -
*Looking for something I've never seen
Alone and I'm in between*
- ! -

“The hell you are.” Blues snorted, disgruntledly offering his concern under his anger. “This could quite possibly be the stupidest thing you've ever done.”

Enzan smirked in amusement, finding a bit of humor in the navi's resentful form of worry, and his bluntness. He felt his heart slow and his breathing return to normal, with one last sharp inhale of the wet air he wiped away the stream of water sliding down his face from his soaked hair “Aw quit your griping, I'm fine.” Enzan pushed off of the poll and walked over to the steel door barring entrance to the facility, immediately the sound of rain dulled into a hard and repeated but muffled pounding and he was met with the noise of construction, as he should have. “Don't worry Blues, I gave Zero directions.” He replied, gaining a reserved satisfaction when he heard the prideful anger rise in Blue's voice.

Blues swallowed his explosive anger and recanted callously. “Shut up.”

Enzan pressed his hand against the white wall and leaned against it, it didn't provide much support but it helped him regain his balance. “Un...” He winced when he felt the familiar pain slowly starting to return, but it was minimal and he became accustomed to it. He knew he could at lest be able to make it down to the control room before he lacked the strength to go any farther. “Hey Blues.”

“What?”

“With all the systems down it might be hard, but see if you can get in contact with the Lab, tell them to send a sample of the containment fluid to the hospital.”

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“You worry too much.” Tadashi said, “Just relax..”

The rays of sun that rose with every morning were absent today, blocked with thick gray clouds, rolling thunder and flashing streaks of lighting. Tadashi could hear it clearly, the sound of rain traversed through the entire house, it drifted in to the room from all sides, like soft music. More often then not he found his eyes drifting toward the kitchen window and out into the storm with an odd fascination for it.

Zero looked away with a resentful timidness, feeling as though he was being thrust out into the open with no clothes on. “Easy for you to say.”

-!-
*The place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never been*
-!-

“Come on, everything went fine, you were great.”

Tadashi sat at the kitchen table, the clean, white dress shirt he'd warn the day before sat open over his body and revealing his chest, much more wrinkled then it had been when he first dawned it. His lower body was furnished with a pair of white boxers and nothing more. The sight made Zero relax a little, his feeling of open, defenseless nakedness of having Tadashi know certain things about him made him reluctant, but once again he was in the presence of a side of Tadashi that was just as open as he was. A side of Tadashi that was groggy with sleepy expression on his face, a side that was uncharacteristically disorganized and with a fleeting memory, a side of him that was too short to reach the top shelf, a side of him that liked the feel of sunlight and wind in the morning. A side of him that had let him know one of his closest and worst memories, a side of him that was sitting here half naked. A side of him that couldn't remember where he'd put the coffee, a side of him that had a friendly smile. “...” Zero let out a deep sigh and looked up at Tadashi, studying his smiling face, his bright, sharp eyes. Maybe...he was right.

Tadashi leaned back in his chair, his mouth open wide as he stretched his arms high above his head and yawned deeply, pushing small tears to the edges his eyes. “What's with the serious look?” He asked, his voice still a bit groggy and low from fatigue, he felt as though everything weighed more then it did the day before and his mind was surrounded by a fog that obscured thoughts.

“Nothing.” Zero shook his head, “Just thinking..”

- ! -
*I found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's a few things you should know*
- ! -

“I never thought I'd say this, but you think to much.” Tadashi smiled in his own private amusement, at himself more the Zero. “If there's anything I've learned it's that some times you have to throw caution to the wind if you want to get anywhere. So don't worry so much.”

“I guess...maybe.” Zero shrugged, though a part of him still didn't believe it, and he doubted it ever would. Maybe with other people, other elements, but not with someone like him. This was simply to dangerous, honestly there was no point in this, he should just be deleted so the virus could be eradicated forever, especially since there was no way to stop it. “I hope you at lest found something out that you can use against me.”

“Zero-”

Zero promptly cut him off with a stubbornness. “Come on, your a smart guy, it's only logical.” Zero reasoned, his voice completely strait, even holding a level headed tone as he tried to convince Tadashi of this. He didn't flinch, he didn't hesitate in the slightest when he spoke about it. Over the course of yesterday and last night he'd settled into the thought of his death, and what once was a turmoiled roar from two parties inside of his head was now a calm decision. The rage and sorrow, the fear even that had surrounded his need to die was gone, and he wished that if it happened, it happened while this state of mind lasted. “In case something happens then you can stop me.”

Tadashi was astounded by how easily he spoke about this, shocked by how calmly Zero wanted it, he shook his head. “Zero stop doing that, your not that mindless virus, your not something to just be deleted. So stop talking like you are.”

- ! -
*We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow*
- ! -

“I am that virus, in fact...I'm beginning to think that virus is me.” Zero said thoughtfully, he felt detached from himself, an entity slowly being preyed away from something it had latched on to. No...wasn't exactly a calmness, it was true that there was an odd peace he felt about himself, but was more as if the parts of his personality that caused the anger and sorrow and fear associated with his death hadn't completely been satisfied by reason. It appeared more like bits of those part of himself were now absent, more and more every day he was beginning to realize an emptiness in himself, as if he was a shell being cleared out and torn away from his inwards. But he didn't completely know it yet, it was still underlaying and subconscious, it had not yet come to him in a clear-cut, distinct, intelligible idea, only vague feelings. “Now's probably the only time to do this.” Of course, this kind of courage to say such things was only forth coming in Zero because of the trust, the confidence Tadashi made him feel.

Tadashi let out a deep sigh, his expression slipped into one of sorrowful disappointment. Zero could see the need to convince him, to save him in his eyes. “No Zero, No way. You have to stop thinking like this. If you don't, there's no way we can succeed in this.” He said. “I don't understand it, why are you so ready to die? Your an amazing person, if anyone deserves to live it's you, I don't get why you can't see that yourself.”

Zero shifted his eyes away, his demeanor quickly slipping back into the introverted shame when it came to the subject of his existence, the cruel joke it was. The same peacefulness and levelheadedness that he'd had speaking of his death didn't apply to him in the subject of his life. “...Just look at me.” He half mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

- ! -
*We're only taking turns
Holding this world*
- ! -

Zero couldn't stand the way Tadashi was looking at him, that questioning expression made him feel as if he'd see deep enough into him and turn a way in disgust. As he should have, Zero thought, but the fact that it was taking so long made him frustrated and impatient, why didn't he just do it and get it over with! The way that expression ceased to falter almost gave a dim hope, to the side of him that wanted it, that Tadashi wouldn't, but everything else inside of him hated himself for clinging to something in the face of such doubt. The suspense made nervous knots in his stomach. It was a common experience for Zero, these thoughts, these feelings. “Really look at me.” He spoke timidly with embarrassment.

“Zero?” Tadashi still didn't quite understand.

“Tadashi.” Zero folded his arms and looked away with an annoyed huff, a flush making it's way to his cheeks, and he stood idle in a state of burning ignominy. He hated explaining things like this, he hated illustrating his own faults, he hated outlining the horrors of himself and his existence. “I all most killed Megaman!” He scuffed bitterly, he felt as if someone was forcing him to cut off his own arm by saying all of his outside. Maybe it was a sign, that the part of him that cared about what Tadashi thought of him, that didn't want to accidentally infect everything, that was sad and afraid, that enjoyed messing with Blues, that felt ashamed of everything it was, the side of him that was everything he was. The Navi side of him, at lest he thought that was what it was, was still strong inside of him “That's the only reason I'm here! And look what it did to him, even now...” Guilt was a horrible thing. “I'm the reason Enzan and Lan got hurt, I'm the reason Enzan's building is half in the ocean! I'm the reason who knows what else happened!”

“Is that what this is about?” Tadashi asked. “Zero, you have to stop beating yourself up over this. That wasn't you, no matter what you say or think about it, it never will have been you.”

“How can you say that!” He shouted with aggravation. “I'm just that thing with a face! And at this rate I'm gonna be that thing again!”

“You won't.” Tadashi recanted, he spoke softly, he remained calm, the levelheaded, friendly, articulate expression Zero admired, as sleepy as it may have been, still remained. “I won't let you.” He was especially firm.

- ! -
*It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand*
- ! -

“But you can do something right?” Zero asked, “You've found away didn't you?”

Was Zero even listening to him? All he was concerned about was this one thing. “No Zero, I didn't, And I'm not looking.” Tadashi protested almost stubbornly, he had to make Zero see some how, he had to some how give him a will to live.

“No way Tadashi! You promised me that you would, that's the only reason I agreed to do this thing!” Zero shouted, an anger roaring up inside of him. Why couldn't he see this! Why couldn't he understand what he was, why he was asking for all of this! Why did he refuse to pay attention this fact! Why did me make them focus on this so brutally.

“It may seem like I'm being foolish but I won't, I'm not going to be so quick to give up on you.” Tadashi folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, his eyes firm and fixed on to Zero's. “I'm doing this to save you, not find away to kill you. I can't possibly do something like that Zero, because that would be going against everything I started this for.”

Immediately a silence followed, a long one, filled with the ambient noises of rain and thunder rumbling over head with a velvet fluidity to it's ominous sounds.

“Ta...Tadashi...” Zero just stared at him in awe, for a moment he was speechless, his mind searching desperately for a response to something like that. What could he say, it was Tadashi, he was his friend, and he thanked him profoundly for that. But.... “...Your my friend right?” He asked quietly, speaking almost as if he feared Tadashi would say no.

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Then why can't you understand that I need to do this for you guys?” Zero pleaded, his eyes were shaky, it was clear he was forcing himself to keep his gaze with Tadashi. The shame he felt was unbearable, a catalysts triggering feelings that changed like the wind with each word, each glance Tadashi gave him. “I'm just going to cause problems for you guys, for the world. Seriously, I'm not just saying this. I could just infect everything.”

- ! -
*If I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you*
- ! -

“Zero, I believe in you, I know your strong enough not to let that happen.” Tadashi told him. “And that's something we're going to fix.”

“I don't get it...” Zero looked away fully this time, his head hung low, “I'm a virus, you guys destroy viruses. How can you stand to be around me?”

“I don't like you or not because of *what* you are, I like you because of who you are.” Tadashi started, “And your a great person, I've never met anyone like you. I don't really care what you are. If the virus part of you is causing the problem, then lets find away to deal with that, not just kill you off at the first sign of trouble.”

Tadashi was most definitely a more reasonable man then Zero sometime thought of him, even in the morning. “...” Zero again could find no response, and after a moment of trying futilely, he looked away in silent acceptance, hoping Tadashi would approve and leave him alone about it.

Tadashi relaxed again, another deep yawn forced it's way out of his mouth and he slumped in his chair with fatigue. “Your lucky you don't sleep.” He said, mid yawn. “It's just a pain.”

“Maybe.” Zero shrugged.

Tadashi rested his folded arms on the table and sat his head on top of them, looking at Zero lazily. He could see he was pensive, still feeling the feelings that had drove his words as well as the shame. “ So Blues is gone is he?”

“Yeah.” Zero nodded, and his demeanor only got worse when the subject was brought up.

“Why don't you go and see him?”

“Huh?” Zero was caught off guard by the question. “Really? But don't you wanna-”

- ! -
*Take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody*
- ! -

“It can wait at lest a little while.” Tadashi smiled. “Besides,.what's work if you can't take a break every once and awhile.”

Zero felt a small smile coming to his lips as well. “What are you gonna do without me?”

“Heh, I'm sure I'll manage.”


! - ! - !
! - ! - !

“It's raining again...” Lan let out a deep sigh, his breath patched the window with a wet fog. He sat on his knees, his arms folded on the windowsill and his head resting on top of his arms, still sitting only in his shorts. He could feel the cold chill from the glass radiating on to his his face and chest, his body heat being drawn out. The rain pelted the glass and ran down the top in a blurry sheet, small waves like ripples coming through visibly, reminding him of so many car washes he'd gone through. The dim light that shined through cast a blue aura over the room, the cascading, distorted shadow of the sheeting water projected a blurry image. “Pretty hard to...”

What was... that? “Un?” Megaman sat upright, bringing himself the edge of the bed, leaning forward with his hands clasped together and elbows resting on his knees. His shirt was discarded near by, his hair damp with sweat and hanging down flatly without volume. He was hot, and not surprisingly his cooling system wasn't functioning properly, so his body automatically resorted to the more manual resolution of sweat. It was still early, by Lan's standards anyway, only 8 or so, and still as dark as ever. “What are you doing up so early?” Megaman winced, there was a tightness as taunt as a stretched wire in his stiff body that felt as if everything was attempting to lock into place despite his will. He tried to be still, allow it to run it's course and disburse on it's own, but he'd already made the mistake of fighting it in order to sit up. “oooo...” He moaned softly to himself and clinched his forehead, he felt weak for a moment, dizzy, as if the entire room was tilting and twisting like a bottle in the middle of a stormy sea. Which also made him nauseous.

Lan looked back over his shoulder and immediately noticed the cringed expression on Megaman's face, a pang of worry shot through him like a single, pounding heart beat. “Megaman?” Lan climbed off of his knees and with bare feet he ran over to the bed with quiet steps over the cold tile floors. He sat beside him, wrapping his arms around Megaman's shoulders. “Are you ok?”

- ! -
*But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak*
- ! -

“Yeah...” Megaman nodded slowly, his eyes clinched tightly and his fingers looking as though they'd dig into his scull any moment now. “I'm ok.” Nothing he wasn't used too. “I just...” He felt disoriented, his balance was gone, the world was suddenly weightless, there was no center of gravity, as if he was an object drifting through space. The world was twisting and spinning, distorted and blurred, the only thing that he could see clearly was the ground hurling at his face, and the moment he realized it he felt it, fast and hard.

“Megaman!” Lan slid off the bed and dropped to his knees in front of Megaman who was laying face down on the ground, completely still. He quickly grabbed on to his shoulders and rolled him awkwardly onto his back, Megaman was heavier then he'd thought. “Megaman, what happened?”

Megaman blinked, staring upward questioningly at the ceiling, completely unaware of what happened until he found himself on the ground. The projection of blue light from the window became sharper and sharper, the weakness began to seep away, and paralyzing lock up of his body loosened. But he still felt dizzy and nauseous. “I'm alright, just got up too fast. That's all.” Megaman said in that same friendly, disregarding voice, as if he thought nothing of what had just happened to him.

Lan wasn't sure if he was right in feeling angry about it, he'd hated it when Enzan did it, and he did no less when Megaman did, though, for all he knew Megaman might not have thought of it with the same seriousness as every one else. “Megaman...” Lan looked down at Megaman with a disappointed expression, but again he said nothing about it, unsure of what to think of it all. “Your not alright, stop saying that.”

“Lan?” Megaman looked up at the boy with confusion, for a moment he didn't know what had brought this on, why Lan was so disgruntled? He quickly figured it out.

Megaman smiled softly, slowly lifting his hand toward the dizzy image of Lan and hoping that he reached his mark, much to his satisfaction he felt his fingers fall against Lan's cheek. “Really, it's alright, don't worry about it so much. I'm bound to have a few glitches.” The watery reflection of blue draped over Lan's body like a veil, shading his pale skin in the curtain of shade and aqua, everything was much darker from down here, blackness covered the floor like a fog and dwelled in the corners. “Besides, there's nothing either one of us can do about it.”

It amazed him how calm Megaman could be about himself, he'd never met someone with so much patience, so much calmness. For all Lan knew Megaman was dying inside, but Megaman didn't seem to be concerned in the least, it was improvable to him. “How come you don't care? I mean, you almost were deleted once, and at this rate who knows what will happen to you. It's like you don't at all...”

Megaman stared up at him blankly. “What do you mean Lan? Of course I *care*.”.Megaman replied, though his answer was completely instinctual, and with out thought. But why would he have to think about such a thing, of course people were concerned about themselves, about their lives, all people were. So by rule of thumbs he was also, it required no thought at all, in fact he hadn't thought about it at all since he acquired this body. But why should he need too? He didn't need to remind himself of his concern for his wellbeing, what would that have accomplished. It was merely logic, something that had been embedded in his consciousness like so many other things, that was the reason.

- ! -
*I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still*
- ! -

“Really?” Lan stared down at him remorsefully. “Tell me honestly, and I really want you to think about it...*do* you care?”

Megaman looked up into the sullen brown eyes, the blankness in his own eyes became unsure. “I...” Of course he....Of course he did, Megaman reasoned, it was logic, that was the reason he wasn't worried, or had one discerning though of his wellbeing....He paused, and began to think of everything, every glitch he'd had, every worsening flaw, and even now when he thought about it and attempted to wrench the feeling from himself, but he couldn't feel a concerned... “I...think I do....I mean, I thought I did... But...I don't feel like I do.” Megaman became perplexed, still digging through his consciousness with a faint hope that it was buried somewhere under his thoughts, that it wasn't completely absent. “No...I...ever since I got in this body I never worried about it...it feels kinda numb...”

'Megaman...' Lan didn't know exactly what to say, he'd been looking for something, but now that he'd found it he wasn't sure of what to do with it. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, trying relieve some of the tension.”...” Lan slowly eased himself down on to the ground and laid beside Megaman, stretching out fully. It was cold and hard but he didn't care, he felt morbidly drawn to Megaman, like a person who wanted to spend time with a loved one when death was near. Lan stared upward and quickly became captivated by the cascading water projecting in a blue light from the window. He couldn't help thinking about Zero though, but he wasn't completely sure why he'd felt a nagging urge. “It's raining again.” He changed the subject.

Megaman didn't respond immediately, his eyes still fixed the ceiling without seeing, wrapped in thought. “What are you doing up so early?” He finally asked, after a duration long enough to make Lan wonder if he would ever say anything.

- ! -
*We're only taking turns
Holding this world*
- ! -

Lan sighed, cuffing his hands on top of his stomach, the pounding of rain against the side of the hospital echoed so loudly that it sounded like it was coming from all over. It was soothing, numbing in a way, it loosened his consciousness and washed away the tension like caked on mud being rinsed from a stone. “I started feeling really funny a few hours ago, like last time. I couldn't get back to sleep.”

Megaman glanced over at him, his eyes silently confirming what he'd already know Lan's words to have meant. “More blood? Why didn't you wake me up?”

Lan subconsciously felt his throat tighten up at the feeling of thick liquid being forced up his esophagus suffocatingly “I didn't need to.” Lan said. More accurately, he didn't want to, not because he was some how embarrassed, or ashamed. He was worried about Megaman, he seemed to be deteriorating, and Lan wasn't sure if there was anything could do about it but he knew rest wouldn't hurt. It may have even helped, it did well enough for humans. And, as he'd just witnessed, Megaman never had good experiences waking up, not once, every time some flaw presented itself at random. He didn't want to wake Megaman up. “I'm alright.” He had to remember to finish cleaning the blood out of the sink, he was so disoriented this morning that he could barely walk a strait line let alone preform an action that required detailed motor skills.

“Did you tell any one?” Megaman wasn't certain of what he felt about himself himself, but he was sure of his concern for Lan. “Are you alright?”

“Nah, I didn't feel like it. Don't worry, I'm just waiting until they make rounds, I'm sure nothing's gonna change in 2 hours.” Lan waved his hand discardingly. “My head still hurts a little, but it'll be fine.” His head felt like it was being pounded repeatedly with a hammer in time with his pulse, the sound of his blood rushing past his ears felt like a deafening waterfall. Much to his surprise the constant tapping of heavy rain and low thunder didn't make it worse.

“...” Megaman nodded and looked back up at the ceiling. A slow, knotting feeling formed in his stomach, his mind completely focused on Lan now. Everything seemed fine, vaguely normal more or less despite everything, but Megaman still felt a obscure dread when he thought about Lan. “I'm sure you will be...” The room finally stopped spinning before his eyes and the nauseous feelings faded, he could see the watery projection of blue light clearly on the walls and the shrouded darkness hanging low in the corners and over the floor.

Lan shuttered when he felt a chill sweep across the ground and over his bare skin, almost immediately he rolled over on to his stomach and pushed himself up on to his feet. He paused to readjust the waist band of his shorts be for he walked over to the window and sat down on his knees again. His breath washed against the glass and a fogged spot appeared, quickly disappearing like melting ice. “You know my Dad came by today.”

“Today?” Megaman slipped his arms behind him and propped himself up on to his elbows, glancing back. “Why didn't you wake me up for that?”

“I dunno.” Meaning he didn't have the words or the knowledge to use them to explain the reasons behind his actions. If he tried to use any response other then a vague discarding one then he'd have to explain the anxious feelings of worry he'd had for Megaman but never had been able to explain, the ones that he'd given up and changed the subject on so many times he'd lost count. He was incapable of responding in any other way then a discarding, dismissive response

“What'd he say?”

“Usual parent stuff, he's worried and everything. ” Lan rolled his eyes. “He also said he was going to work with Zero for a while, he might be able to figure out what's wrong with both of you. He's been working a lot, he must be really close.”

“Hn...” Megaman nodded, slowly sitting fully upright, he was reluctant to rise, finding it cooler in the shadows then standing full body height. But eventually got up, his bare feet trudging through the cooler air to the window where Lan sat. He slipped his hands into his pockets and stared at the hazy sheet of water washing across, captivated by the blurry lights of the city shining through.

- ! -
*It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand*
- ! -

“Your gonna be alright, right Megaman?” Lan didn't look back, his eyes remained fixed strait a head, his voice hopeful, almost pleading. He offered up every worry he never spoke, every uncertainty about Megaman, every painful thought that he was sure he'd have if something did happen to Megaman, his way of saying everything he wanted to say but never could without speaking at all.

“As long as you are Lan.” Megaman said, absently accepting it.

A comfortable silence spread between them, Lan sat and watched like a captivated and contented child. Megaman merely stood absently and watched him with the same awe he'd always had since he'd come into the tangible world. He couldn't stop himself from slowly reaching out and burring his fingers in to Lan's hair, there was still this disbelief and awe inside of him that made him want to touch things that were now tangible to him like a curious 3 year old, Lan in particular.

“For the first time I think I actually wish I was out there.” Lan rested his elbows on the window still and held his head in his hands. This place didn't feel nearly as warm or copasetic as his room, it didn't have the pleasant familiarity as his home did, it felt lifeless, impersonal. Most of the time at lest, right now, even though the room was dark, even though the rain was all that could be heard, even though it was a large building, it felt like it was only them, even with everything. Lan felt the same tender, satisfying atmosphere he felt at home. Though, there was just something about the rain... He stood up restlessly again, a building energy retaining itself inside of him. “You look like you went out there yourself.” His eyes clearly held their focus on his hair.

Megaman rubbed the back of his neck and grinned, the unruly spikiness had been damped into hair that drooped uncharacteristically. “Just a little hot I guess.”

A quick and fleeting realization struck Lan as he watched Megaman's motions. 'He and Zero do the same thing.' A habit he'd seen Zero display a thousand times. 'Now I know where he gets it from.' Lan reached up to the taller form and wrapped his arms around Megaman's neck, pulling him down into a soft kiss. When he felt his chest pressing against Megaman's more imposing one, with the barest traces of sweat beginning to develop on his warm skin, and Megaman's hands press against his back with a delicate touch, almost as if he feared he'd do harm. The retentive energy that had been building exulted itself in a very pubescent way when a hardness developed between his legs. But he ignored it, clinching on to Megaman tightly as if he'd fall away if he let go, deepening the kiss as if it might be the last time he ever would be able to.

Megaman was drawn in by the quick change in demeanor, like a switch coming on a revelation of something that had always been there revealed itself to him. He was sure of it now, Lan had been too busy thinking, worrying in almost compulsive ruminations to get back to sleep. He could just imagine Lan pacing around the room shiftlessly in the dark, filled with unrelenting nervousness, watching him sleep. He kissed him back just as intensely, his embrace growing firmer with a comforting strength. Megaman finally pulled back, softly tilting his head to the side and kissing gently along Lan's neck. “It's ok.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper in Lan's ear.

Lan stood idle, letting his hands fall to his side and his eyes stare over Megaman's shoulder to the projection on the wall while his body lost itself in Megaman's administrations. “It's not...” he recanted just as softly. “It's...It's like your-”

“You don't have to worry about me.” Megaman cooed, at the same time trying to convince himself that he didn't have to worry about Lan. His words wouldn't have sounded real had he not reciprocated the same on to himself so that Lan could see it. Megaman kissed gently along Lan's jaw, trying to comfort him, trying to ease him out of his ominous fear. “We've been through worse, this will work out.”

“Your not gonna leave me are you?” Lan sounded more like a child then he'd have liked, but he didn't care, he was too afraid to care. A separation anxiety came over him already, even as Megaman stood before him more solid and real then he could have ever hoped. Lan lifted his hands and wrapped his arms around Megaman, squeezing him as tightly as he could. He didn't want to lose him, not in any sense....and he knew at that moment, that Megaman was who he wanted, needed.

- ! -
*And then again maybe you don't*
- ! -

“No, I'll be fine, I'll always be right here..” Megaman slowly trailed up Lan's chin and recaptured his lips in another kiss, their tongues struggling fiercely with a hunger, a deep need, joint for an eternity until Lan pulled away breathlessly, panting heavily. “Don't worry ...” Megaman whispered, slowly running his tongue under Lan's chin and across his neck to his collar bone in a warm, wet trail.

“Mega...” Lan said softly, breathing hard and heavy, letting his body lean against Megaman's shoulder weakly. He was slowly eased back by Megaman's strong arms until his back was against the wall beside the window. The pounding of rain almost swallowed his senses, leaving only the soothing beat, and the feeling of Megaman pressed against him, kissing and licking with delicate gentleness that silently pleaded for Lan to believe everything would be alright.

“Just...” Megaman slowly dropped to his knees, his hands roaming over Lan's stomach and feeling the heat swelling with a radiating warmth. “...Trust me.” He whispered, his voice blending seamlessly into the hiss of the rain. He pressed his mouth against Lan's chest and prodded tentatively at the soft nipple with his tongue.

“Un....” The sensation was a muffled, it almost tickled, beginning dull but gaining sensitivity. Lan grabbed on to Megaman's shoulders, feeling the dampness of sweat and warmth across his back under his finger tips. “I don't want something to happen to you...” Lan admitted, his voice nearly fading into the wail of the wind and rain. His eyes cracked open and became half-lidded, sullen brown eyes stared at the wavering blue light and the reflection of sliding water.

“Lan...” Megaman's motions became softer, more delicate pleading for understanding more then his words ever could alone. He wrapped his arms around Lan's waist, tilting his head upward until his imploring, careful eyes met Lan's pensive ones. Their noses were just barely touching each other. “Do you believe in me?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Lan nodded. He found himself inexplicably drawn to those eyes, fixed on them, unable to look away even long enough to blink. He felt a wetness seeping in to his eyes and for a moment nearly mistook it for rain.

“Then believe me when I tell you that I'm alright, I'm right here, and I'm not going any where.” Megaman lifted his hand to slowly wipe away the tears forming in Lan's eyes with a soft, careful smile, “Don't worry...” He cooed, before closing his eyes and was drawn in to another tentative kiss. Then he moved down to Lan's neck, trailing down his chest with warm and wet kisses, he dropped to his knees, before running down Lan's stomach with his tongue. Megaman slipped his fingers into the waist band of Lan's shorts and tugged them down to the boy's ankles, unavailing his hard cock, twitching slightly with energy. “Trust me...” Megaman leaned forward and took the length into his mouth, surrounding the hardness with a humid breath and a warm wetness..

The moment Megaman's wet tongue pressed against the bottom of Lan's cock, when he felt that first humid breath against the sensitive flesh. Lan shuttered and let out a yelp, clinching Megaman's shoulders tighter, his fingers clinched into the toned fleshed. “Ahh...” The boy let his head fall back against the wall, soft whimpers escaped from his tightly clinched lips and hard breaths blew harshly when the warm pressure enveloped around his member when Megaman began sucking. A jolt made it's way through his form building the tense energy up even farther, he could feel the pre-cum begin oozing steadily out of him. “That feels...”

Megaman drew back, removing everything save the head from his mouth, and began swirling his tongue around the tender area.

“Mega...Megaman!” Lan tensed, his fingers clinching Megaman tightly. With all self control deteriorated, Lan thrust upward into Megaman's mouth which instinctively tightened around him. He quickly shifted his hands around Megaman's head and drove himself wildly into the slick warmth, his body spasmed and his cock twitched. With a loud outcry he came, spurting his thick seed into Megaman's awaiting mouth. He quickly emptied himself and the taunt energy that had built inside of him slipped away with it. He slumped weakly where he stood, one hand resting over his pounding heart and the other hanging loosely to his side, his eyes drifting closed without having realized it. He felt as though a hard tension had been eased in a glorious relief, and his entire being had no solidity and was being washed away, diluted in to the rain. Consciousness returned sharp and hard when his open mouth, swallowing deep gasps of air, met with Megaman's for a third time, only to be lost again in the kiss, in the motions of his tongue and the invading others.

- ! -
*And then again maybe you won't*
- ! -

He opened his eyes again and smiled weakly when the met with Megaman's who was now standing, his larger form hanging above him. He could feel the heat drifting from his body, he could see the subtle traces of sweat trickling down, but contrastingly his body appeared cold in the wavering shades of blue shining through the rain drenched window. Thunder, with a smooth fluidity in it's deep tones, rolled above their heads, and lighting flashed in the distance, illuminating the entire room in a snap shot.

Megaman slipped his fingers through the soft brown strands of Lan's hair and grasped his head in a delicate grip. “I love you.” He whispered.

Lan's smile grew a bit fonder. “I love you too...” He stood idle and expectant when he felt Megaman's hands slowly slipping down his back until they gripped his waist and paused in the same careful, delicate manner as always. Lan looked up at him wordlessly, his cheeks became flushed with embarrassment as he gave a silent permission to proceed. Megaman couldn't help but grin at the suddenly timid expression that had come over the boy as he pushed his pants down just barely enough to reveal his own cock. He slipped his hands behind Lan's legs with delicate caresses and lifted him up, pinning him against the wall with his chest.

Megaman pressed his own larger member against Lan's in what felt to the boy as a teasing maneuver, was larger , scooping the remains of Lan's cum from the tip of the softened cock and rubbing it over the head of his own. “Ready?” He asked softly, readjusting his hips until his cock was pressing against Lan's entrance. He burred his head into Lan's neck, softly kissing and and licking...

“Yeah...” Lan tilted his head back even farther and closed his eyes, feeling a profound sense of relaxation. His ears were trained on to the crashing of the rain and his body upon Megaman nibbling in to the sensitive flesh between his shoulder and neck. It dulled his consciousness into a half state of awareness, he almost didn't expect it when he felt the hardness of Megaman's cock pushing through the tight ring muscles of his entrance and stretching the inner walls. He bit down on his bottom lip and bit back a grunt from the initial discomfort like no other, it always felt strangely at first.

- !-
*When you're older you might understand*
- ! -

Megaman let his entire cock sink into Lan's body, his fingers clinching Lan's legs tighter with an anxious energy rising in his waist that was hard to contain. He pulled back slowly and then pushed in again, his movements gained a rhythm, it's own pulse. “Lan...” He moaned, letting his weight fall more on to the boy and his thrust become harder and faster, deeper.

Lan wrapped his arms around Megaman's shoulders and his legs around his waist, his heart was beating so loudly in his ears he wouldn't have doubted Megaman could have heard it at that moment. His body fell into a natural sync with the other's, and the once discomfort became a completion. The strength of Megaman's arms supporting him the warmth of his body pressed against him, just lightly hinted with sweat, the feel of his mouth against his neck and his breath against his skin, with Megaman inside of him he felt a fullness that could never come from anything else.

“L-Lan!” Megaman bit down softly on Lan's shoulders, his fingers clinching Lan's legs in an almost painful grip. He moaned loudly, his outcry muffled in Lan's neck, as he came. It was intense on his at times overly sensitive body, he clinched his eyes tightly and grunted loudly. His cock twitched and his body spasmed, releasing a thick volume of cum into Lan's body in a burst of liquid heat. Slowly Megaman sunk , falling on to knees just as the last of his seed filled Lan and his softening member pulled away.

A comfortable silence spread between them, filled with the sound of rain and heavy, panting breaths. Lan leaned forward and laid his head on Megaman's shoulder, his arms still holding tightly to his neck.

“Megaman?” Lan finally spoke again, his voice timid and shy, almost as if he didn't want to be noticed. It was so much easier just to allow himself to fall asleep afterwords, as his body continued to draw him towards, but he couldn't. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, yet Lan still persisted.

Megaman felt his breath slowly return to normal and the heat inside of him begin to subside and he began to notice the cool air surrounding him like a blanket. He held on to Lan, enjoying the radiating warmth from the smaller body in his arms. The awe of the hyper-tangible world he was now immersed in was most present in him now, he last thing he wanted to do was to let go.“Huh?”

“You...meant what you said right?” He asked, as if unable to believe what he'd heard, that it was simply just something that had been said in the moment and no longer applied. It was awkward enough to think about it, but it had meant more to him then he'd realized. He feared the doubt he felt was true, so much so that he had to force himself to ask such a question. Even as he knew how childish it sounded, and even as he hated himself for that at the moment, and as timid and reluctant as he was. He had to ask it.

“Of course I did Lan.” Megaman responded.

Lan simply nodded and closed his eyes, allow his senses to become reenveloped in the falling rain, allowing his consciousness to be dulled and diluted and scattered about. His awareness was slowly swallowed, eclipsed in the darkness behind his eyelids slowly growing over his vision and he quickly fell asleep in Megaman's arms. 'Megaman.' In the twilight of his consciousness, he realized it, the nagging feeling, how much of a connection there really was between Megaman and Zero. 'You guys...'

- ! -
*When you're older you might understand*
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