A Digital Trip

Things felt surreal while I walked down the sidewalk embedded in a group of strangers. With so many things pulsating across my mind, it took the vibrations of the phone I'd taken to be the proverbial pinch. Snapping back to reality, I held the cell at waist height, looked at the display, and did a double take when my phone number lit up across the bottom of the screen. I slid the "answer" bar, "Hello?"

"You have something of mine." He was nonchalant.

"I know..." I was unsure if his tone meant everything was ok, but seeing as how he just killed someone, I was unsure if anything was ok, "I needed a phone, I couldn't find mine."

"I did. Would you like it?" I could hear in his voice that he was walking, something in the way he breathed.

I turned around quickly and scanned the crowd for, him--it was just a sea of strange faces. I stopped with my herd on the sidewalk and waited for the pedestrian light to turn, "Hello," he'd been quiet.

"Can't see me?"

I looked again and scanned the crowd, I even checked across the street to my right--but there was no-one quite as tall as I was sure he'd been, and no one was looking at me. "Where are you?" I didn't want to ask because didn't want to know, but I was pretty sure there'd be repercussions for taking the car-jacker's phone and I was thinking one if those repercussions would involve what happened to those guys from the alley.

I turned around in one last effort to spot him when I noticed a tall man donning a black hat--eyes locked on me and a phone, my phone likely, pressed to his ear and walking my way. I felt every hair on the back of neck stand up and my chest tightened as he slid between people, "Are you mad at me?"

"You didn't exactly follow anything I said, but I wouldn't say mad,"he paused his dry sarcasm and I looked ahead to notice the pedestrian light had turned and everyone was crossing, "stay put."

Being rid of the phone would be a relief, it didn't seem like I'd have a moment to myself to call for help and I had a nagging suspicion that there was more to him wanting his phone beyond personal property. I took a step into the street and looked back to watch his pace quicken. I had witnessed him kill one, possibly two guys, steel my car, and brake every traffic law I could name--was he going to let me live? I doubted it. I had begun to think that the only bargaining chip I had was this phone, and it was proving to be a double edged sword.

The sound of metal brakes screaming under friction caught my attention and I looked up at the suspended tracks overhead. It was the commuter rail. I couldn't remember what they'd called it, but I remembered hearing they were extensive--as in far away from here, extensive. I looked across the street to a rusty metal staircase that stretched up to the platform and then I looked back, he was three people away. I saw his eyes as he drew the realization of what I was about to do.

"Don't," was all he got out on the line before I took the phone from my ear and booked it across the street.

My heavy footsteps clanked against the metal stairs and I was sure I'd shoved quite a few people but felt unapologetic about it considering my circumstances and they'd serve as obstacles for him if he pursued me. When I made it to the first landing I looked down the stairs, against my better judgement, to see him trying to make his way up--staring me down. I raced up the second set of stairs to hear the first telephonic "ding" of the doors and nearly tripped into the train over the threshold. I regained my composure as the doors slid closed behind me as another "ding" chimed. I sighed and turned to face the door only to be startled by the car-jacker's face on the other side of the door glaring through the glass. He hit the door haphazardly with his fist, likely because I was protected by the simple fact that there were people everywhere. He put the phone to his ear, still not breaking eye contact, as the train started to crawl forward. Keeping my eyes on him I hesitantly listened through the now static line.

"Ok," it was calm and his face had been calm as the train strained to gain speed, "that wasn't quite what I meant by "stay there"."

"Uhhh..."was all I got out before I ran out of intelligible things to say.

"I'll be seeing you soon." I could hear his frustration.

"I really hope not." I could hear the uneasiness in my own voice over the hum of the train and I'd wondered if he could too.

The phone made an odd noise and in taking it away from my ear, I'd realized he'd hung up. Dread started to flare up. I was unsure how he planned on finding me, but I knew that before that happened I needed to find help.

I stayed on the train for almost an hour and a half and had gotten off a few stops short of completing the loop at Keele. I had time to assess what I had; the clothes on my back, my wallet safely tucked into the back pocket of my jeans, and a phone that only dragged on issues for the day, and realized the rest of my life was back in the trunk of my rental. I didn't dare go back to it in fear he'd drawn the same conclusion, so I pressed on and put my mind to finding my family.

It was almost six, the wake and funeral were over and they'd be heading to family dinner, if they weren't there already. Calling my mom was my first thought--she kept her phone on her at all times, but when I went to dial her number on the foreign phone, I'd realized my dependency on technology was quite crippling: I didn't know it off the top of my head. That had been my phone's job. I opted for plan b; find a cab and get to my family as fast as possible. I had no way of knowing where'd they be, but I knew the last place they were; the funeral home in Parker Square.

A cab, though not cost effective, was efficient as far as time went. But the parking lot of the funeral home was empty and when I'd tried the front doors, they were locked. I parked my butt on the front steps and hoped one of my family members would show up once they'd realized I was missing.
A bit of time had gone by and I opted to stare at the phone and wonder why this was worth chasing me down over. It didn't seem it, not to me. It wasn't important enough to keep my focus off my brother's funeral I'd missed. A rush of emotion threatened to pour over the rim of my eyes and I sought to distract myself, but I couldn't pull away from knowing I'd never have a goodbye. "May as well go home." This is what I'd come for and it was over. I wasn't going to lose any sleep not seeing any of my family, though I was sure seeing two people murdered, the car chase, and the car-jacking stalker were going to keep me up at night.

Speaking of night, it was almost 8pm in October--it was dark. I half wanted to put on my jacket before I realized it was in my trunk...in an alley way. I sighed and began to walk down the street.

No destination and curiosity possessed me to thumb through his menu. It was comforting that the blue light lit up my face and when I stopped to look around, I'd realized I looked like everyone else. Perhaps I could tell myself that everything was fine and normal. A lot of what the phone had to offer were odd apps I'd never heard of, some of them were things that seemed illegal. A "Digital Trips" folder caught my eye, so I strolled down the list until I found one labeled "supersecretlolz". It felt out of place for someone who seemed to take life so seriously. I couldn't imagine the car-jacker as a lolz kinda guy. "Pretty sure these things are illegal." I tapped the icon.

My vision blurred and the blue glow of the phone engulfed my face until everything was under blue light. It felt calming if not for the thudding in my ears being progressively deafening. I turned my head to realize there was a drag in what I perceived to be real-time...I had the wherewithal to know this wasn't real-time, but nothing moved in real-time here. A light appeared over the silhouette of someone walking by and I had crossed the road to get closer. A force pushed me hard into the ground and I fell. A car started to materialize near my face in the blue landscape, but as I'd gotten up, the monochrome palette swallowed back in and a white line caught my attention. I got up on the sidewalk and everything felt stable and real for a moment before I was bombarded with what felt like speed walking. The scenery rushed by me and I put my hands in front of my face to shield myself from the force. There were words above faces all on the way to something and it stretched into a single strand...and then it all instantly stopped.

The phone vibrated in my hand and I had to do a double take when I recognized my cell number on the display. Pain immediately followed the realization and I put my hand to my head to be shocked that blood clung to my fingers when I looked. I pulled my hood up as far over my face it'd go--it was the closest to denial I could get. I couldn't make sense of it, nor could I make sense of why I was on the ground near a pawn shop. The phone vibrated again.

"Hello?"

"How's your night going?" The voice was disturbingly familiar and not my mother's. I frowned.

"I don't know how to answer that." I didn't. I found his calm demeanor to be unsettling. Where was he going with this?

"Why'd you run?" This felt like a different approach and I was hesitant to go down this road.

"You stole my car with me in it."

"Ok. You stole my phone and I tried not to steal you."

"Yeah, but you still stole my car... And you killed a guy" I couldn't believe I was trying to give reason a shot, but why not?

"Three."

"What?" I couldn't figure out what "three" had to do with anything.

"We can call this thing over. We can trade phones and go our seperate ways." He sounded convincing and I wanted it to be true, but...

"You killed people." It was likely clear I'd been emotional.

"Yes, but they were all very bad people." He began to seem more human, I'd almost forgot he'd been dangerous and it made me wonder if this was his game.

"I don't know." I took a step back and bumped into something. I whipped around only to find the car-jacker with his mask down to show he'd been sporting a grin. "How are you here?"

He had put a hand on my shoulder and was quick to grab the phone out from my grasp. Once he inspected it, he looked down at me, hand still on my shoulder, holding me in place, "It's that easy." His grin faded away once he met my eyes. He reached a hand out to my face and I jerked my head out of his reach. "What happened to you?"

I doubted highly that the phone obsessed murdering car-jacker cared about what happened to me, and I didn't exactly have an answer to offer. I ignored the question and put my hand out, waiting.

He studied my face for few more seconds and then handed me my phone and shrugged, now avoiding eye contact.

"We're done? You won't come after me?" He turned away when I asked and I saw the glow of his phone cast light against him.

"Good night, Kate."

"Ok," I wasn't sure how he got my name, but I wouldn't had been surprise if it was somewhere in my rental on my stuff. "Goodnight, Aiden." As soon as I said the name, I froze and put a hand over my mouth. Was that even his name? What exactly possessed me to say that?

I turned my head around to see he'd paused, turned around, and started my way. "What did you say?"

"Oh, God. I'm an idiot." I whimpered and looked around for someone to witness my homicide.

"No, that's not what you said." He'd quickly gotten closer, a whole lot closer. The front of his jacket brushed up against my knuckles and he towered over me. I took my hand off of my mouth and stepped back. He put his hands up to show he meant no harm, but I remembered the events earlier in the day and I didn't trust it.

"Where did you get that name?" His voice must had been light before, because now it was heavy. Now he was serious and wasn't putting on the friendly act.

"The news?"

"Nope," his eyes were fixed on me, no lie was getting through.

"I don't know. I heard one of those guys say it, I think." Was that true? Even I wasn't sure, but it was the only reasonable explanation.

"Hmm," he pulled my head back and grabbed my chin a lot softer than I thought he would, "you should get that looked at."

I assumed he meant my head, I'd almost forgotten about it. "It's fine." I'd tried to passively take my head back and pull my hood more forward, but he touched the side if my face and then ran his thumb over his forefinger when he pulled his hand back. I took a clumsy step out if his reach and watched him--unsure where he was going with this.

"You do what you want," his attention had begun to divide between me and the phone. He had put a hand in his pocket and made his way down the sidewalk and crossed over when he'd gotten further down.

____________________

I had called my mom, at last, and managed to arrange a ride so I could get myself out of the middle of nowhere. When she had come, it was passed ten and I was out of steam and almost out if battery. Her first maternal instinct was to chastise me for missing my brother's funeral. It was a short-lived jab, but it was enough to provoke the tears that had been trying to fall all night. I toyed with the idea of telling her what had happened and she followed up her conversation with how long I planned on staying.

"I'm going home tomorrow." I sat in the back of her S.U.V. and stared out the window at all the bright lights and the dark pits in-between.

She sucked her teeth, "are you bleeding?" I met her eyes in the rearview mirror.

"I fell." I wasn't sure how to answer her typical hostility.

"In my car?" 'Oh, here we go' was all I could think. "You know, your father didn't even want to come with me because of you. You never think of anyone else."

I was unsure if it was her odd way of expressing she'd missed me or if was the hit I'd taken to the head earlier, but the dull ache began to throb and take the forefront of my concentration, "Mom?"

"You know, this behavior has to stop. You're not a child anymore. You can't be so spiteful--" she ignored me.

"Mom!" My patience was non-existent. While her concern was me bleeding the upholstery, I was trying to come to terms with my day.

"What? To much?"

"I need to go to the hospital." I put my hand to my head and and tilted it back.

"Why call me at all? You could have dialed 911?" She continued her unique form of expression and changed course.

I had made it in one piece but found I preferred planes over driving with my mother. She'd become overbearing over the years and incapable of editing herself...on a plane the pressure in my ears had rendered me deaf--it was a blissful thought.

"Do you want me to come in?" She asked through the passenger-side window.

"No."

"I'm coming in. If you need to be at the hospital, it must be-"

"No, it's fine." Fine was my universal word for the exact opposite, but this wasn't common knowledge. "I'll call you later."

"I'm going to be sleeping, call me when you get home," she rolled up the window and rolled it down again, "I love you."

"I know," I did my best impression of a smile and waled into the emergency room.

Is learned that the emergency room was a complicated version of first come, first served. It was that, but they had a scale of emergencies that warranted breaking this rule. Head wounds were up there apparently because I was admitted and getting a catscan within the same hour I'd showed up.

"It's a concussion." The E.R. doctor confirmed, though he'd told me before I went in he'd been sure it was one.

"Ok, so do I take medicine? I have a flight tomorrow and I'm tired."

"Who's at home with you?" He asked, starting to look something up on a laptop. Laptop's were indeed the thing now, no more paper charts and messy handwriting, everything was electronic--it was that way in Boston, too.

"Excuse me?" The question felt out of the blue.

"You have a concussion, someone has to monitor your sleep tonight. And you can't fly, not for a few days."

"Is this for real?" This was all seeking like the very opposite of what I'd wanted.

"I take it there's no-one at home?" He left the laptop alone and attempted eye contact.

"Home's in Boston, and no, no-one to watch me."

"I can admit you for overnight monitoring, and you can pick this up in the morning with day-shift." He grabbed his computer and headed for the door.

"Wait, is this necessary or is this one of those liability precautions? I'm not too thrilled with spending the night." I touched the fabric of the hospital gown and furrowed my eyebrows.

"I have a waiting room full of emergency patients who've been here all night-" he walked out and a nurse came in to set me up. She was chatty, but exhausted. She'd been there since 7am, and was supposed to have been home hours ago. I kept my negativity to myself and sat awake in the uncomfortable bed, watching the clock. Of all things to be restricted from...Why did leaving have to be one of them?

I was forbidden to fall asleep and every five minutes, or so it seemed, someone completely new popped in. My eyes geeky heavy and my body wanted to sleep though the pain. The doctor prescribed me Tylenol, but it couldn't touch it. I had felt my phone's vibrations at the edge of the mattress. I groggily stared at the unfamiliar number on my phone, "Hello?"

"Hey." It was him, the car-jacker. Adrenaline started to course through me and was instantly on edge.

"Oh my god. You?" I sat up quickly and felt my body demand I lay back down.

"Relax. Don't get loud," he breathed in deep and I tried to do the same, but couldn't, "look at your monitor." The only monitor I could think he referred to was the one being away as my heart picked up. I looked over to it and it wasn't the same black screen filled with meandering lines, it was about 5 people walking into the E.R. through the double sliding doors.

"What is this?" I watched the feed change from one camera to another until all of them passed the front desk.

"It's trouble."

"Why is trouble here? I gave you back your phone." I whispered and crawled on the cold tiled floor between the bed and the wall.

"Do you recall when I told you to get out of the car and you decided against that?"

"Yeah..." I didn't like where this was going.

"And then do you remember when I told you not to get out of the car and you decided against that?"

"Oh god," I grabbed my head and tried to keep the room from spinning, "what am I supposed to do?" I peeked back at the screen, it was showing the corridor down the hall. The picture changed and it was the two elevators I'd taken earlier to get to this room on the fifth floor. The doors opene opened to reveal an empty elevator.

"I'm going to help get you out-"

"You're here?" I fumbled around the room for my clothes and managed to drop them on the floor.

"No, not yet. I'll guide you passed these guys," he paused his sentence and had appeared on the monitor. I pulled my jeans up and started at the monitor as he leaned in so I could see his face, "just actually follow my directions and you'll be fine."

I had the feeling it would be easier said than done. "I can't do this right now."

"Ok, then how about you stay put. Maybe they're selling girl-scout cookies." He pulled away from his monitor and turned to do something out of my field of view.

"Wait," worried he was going to leave me in this predicament, "what do I do?" I worked my shirt on under the gown and pulled the gown off and tossed it on the bed.

The monitor turned off and I could hear a faint voice from my phone. I put it up to my ear, "We'll talk like this," he paused and I had been able to hear the distinctive sound of a car door close on his side, "wait by the door and get ready to go left down the hall."

I stood up against the wall and watched the hall through the crack in the door, waiting for the word to go.