It's All Fun And Games

“P-please…let me go…”

“Don’t you fucking touch me!”

 “Go away!”

 “I want you out.”

 “GET OUT!”

Axel shifted and rolled over, facing the back of the couch. He couldn’t sleep no matter how much he tried. He kept hearing Roxas’s voice in his head, Roxas pleading for him to stop as he hurt him in one of the worst ways possible. Roxas yelling at him followed by tears that Axel wasn’t able to kiss away this time. Every night for the past two weeks Axel’s memories replayed the events of that night over and over and reminded him of what an asshole he was. After Roxas yelled at him to get out, Axel went to seek refuge in the form of his brother, asking if he could stay with him until everything got sorted out. But Axel had a feeling it wouldn’t get sorted out. They’ve had their disagreements in the past, but never this bad. Roxas had never yelled at him like that before.



“I’m such a dick…” He sighed, rolling to his other side and sitting up. If sleep was going to continue to elude him like this, he was just going to have to humor it and try and get his mind off everything by doing something else at… Axel glanced at the red numbers on the digital alarm clock his brother so lovingly placed on the coffee table for him when he first started sleeping there. It was five in the morning, and judging by the obnoxious snoring he could hear coming from his brother’s room, he knew Lea was still asleep.



Just like he should be…



Axel rubbed a hand over his face, desperately longing for sleep, but it was hopeless. He swung his legs over the side of the couch and got to his feet, stretching a little to get the kinks out of his sore body. Lea’s couch was murder on the back, and he swore there were a bed of spikes beneath the cushions. But the couch was crappy anyways, just like the apartment. It was small and cluttered and the wallpaper was peeling badly. Not to mention there was mold growing along the walls and the ceiling, and the bathroom was in serious need of an upgrade.

He made his way to the kitchen and switched on the light, shielding his eyes with his arm until they got used to the brightness after being subjected to darkness for about four hours. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the sink. Normally he’d refrain from drinking such nasty water that was most likely swimming with bacteria, but he didn’t even give it a second thought this time as he downed it in one go.



“Do I even want to know why you’re up at five in the morning?”



Axel sighed and placed his empty glass down on the counter before turning to face his brother who was standing in the entrance of the kitchen, squinting against the light. He looked as tired as Axel felt.



“Couldn’t sleep.”Axel walked over to a black card table, pulling out a folding chair and sitting down. It was actually surprising the kitchen could even fit a table in the first place.

Lea stared at him for a few seconds, debating whether to go back to sleep or to stay and try to comfort him. In the end he unfolded a second chair and joined him at the table. They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Lea couldn’t stand it anymore and finally spoke.

“You need to talk to him.”



“I’ve tried.” Axel groaned and rubbed his temples, thinking about the many messages he left on their answering machine—if he could even call it theirs anymore. “He’s either not home or not answering, and considering what an ass I am and how fucking terrified he is of me now, I’m betting it’s the latter.”

“Are you sure he’s not just angry?” Lea asked, knowing it wasn’t just anger, but since it was five in the morning and he was really tired, but felt obligated to be a good brother, he decided to just ask random questions and allow Axel to vent his feelings.

Axel looked at him like he had two heads. He was basically just repeating what Axel said in the form of a question. “Well of course he’s angry. Why else would he tell me to get out and throw a picture at me?”



“Good point.” Lea struggled to hold back a yawn, but the second he opened his mouth to say something else, it slipped out and his words were a jumbled mess.

Axel raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

He swiped a hand over his eyes, yawning once more, before responding.  “You should still try to talk to him anyways. He’s had a couple of weeks to cool down.”

“You’re really not making any sense.” Axel rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “I know what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it man, I really do. But go back to bed, seriously. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”



Lea stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds then nodded. He pushed his chair away from the table and got to his feet. “You get some sleep too, Axel. You look like shit.”



“Yeah, I feel like shit too.” Axel replied.



Lea gave another yawn and shuffled off to get some sleep. He stopped at the edge of the kitchen and looked over his shoulder. “By the way, you should probably shave later. I know Roxas isn’t here to admire your looks, but caveman is definitely not in this year.”



“It’s not that bad…” Axel muttered, rubbing at the stubble growing on his chin. Lea just shook his head, wishing him a good night before disappearing back into his room where he would no doubt stay until noon.

The door shut with a soft click and Axel was alone once more. He stared at the surface of the card table, taking in the picks and scuffs without even registering them. He tried so many times to talk to Roxas, but something Lea said made him want to try again. Filled with a new found energy, he pushed his chair back, hardly flinching as the legs squeaked against the dulled linoleum floor tiles. He got to his feet and walked into the living room, glancing about the dark room, using the light from the kitchen to see. His eyes fell on the cordless phone resting on the cluttered coffee table. He picked it up and pressed the on button, taking a deep breath before dialing Roxas’ number.

                                                                                                                                                        ***

Roxas groaned and rolled over onto his side as his brain tried to process what exactly it was that woke him up, and after a few more seconds of deliberating, he came to the conclusion that the phone, which was currently ringing was to blame. He slowly rolled over and looked at his clock, staring tiredly at the green glowing numbers that read 5:31. He continued to lay there, too tired to get up and answer it. He had a brief argument with his conscience, which was trying to convince him to get up because it might be important for someone to be calling this early in the morning. He told the little voice to take a hike or he’d defenestrate it, which was an odd threat considering something that didn’t have a being could even be thrown out the window. But he was tired and wanted it to shut up. Either way he won the argument and allowed himself to drift off to sleep again, not hearing the answering machine pick up and recording a frantic sounding Axel.

The next time he awoke, it was due to the strange feeling of being watched. He bolted up in bed and looked around nervously, wrapping his arms around his body as a sudden chill ran down his spine. There was no one else in the room. He sat up for a while longer, listening to a steady rain that was falling outside, pattering against the roof and running in rivulets down the widow. Several minutes passed, but he still couldn’t shake that horrible feeling someone was in his house. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out trying to convince himself that maybe it was just the remnants of another nightmare clinging to his hazy mind, but at the sound of a squeak from the stairs, he scrambled out of bed and shakily opened the nightstand drawer as quietly as he possibly could. He reached in and his hand closed around the handle of a knife—a knife he put there thanks to the first nightmare he had after kicking Axel out.

He licked his suddenly dry lips and slowly eased himself forward, clutching the handle of the knife tightly as he reached for the doorknob, nearly leaping back when he heard a voice calling out on the stairs. He stood frozen, swallowing hard. He could have sworn that voice said his name. His palms were getting sweaty and his legs were starting shake. Then he heard it again, his name being called out as clearly as a summer breeze whistling through the trees. He nearly choked on the saliva that gathered in his mouth as he heard footsteps shuffling against the carpet out in the hallway. Only out of desperation to protect himself, he urged his feet to move and slipped into the corner behind the door, hoping it would give him the advantage of a surprise attack if the intruder came in the room.

Sure enough, the door practically flew open, and if it wasn’t for the closet that was there to stop the door from going any further, Roxas might have been squished. He pressed himself as close to the wall as he could, hoping beyond hope that whoever it was wouldn’t think to look for him behind the door. He heard the footsteps getting closer and for a second he forgot how to breathe. Images from his previous nightmares came back to him. Flashes of the horrible things an unknown man did to him made him forget himself and he let out a small moan, nausea washing over him as he remembered a strong hard body pinning him to the bed. Cold hands explored every inch of him, slipping beneath his shirt. Another flash and he was forced to suck on a long, hard penis; tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to pull away, but a hand pressed to the top of his head kept him from doing that. There was yet another flash and he was on his back, his legs spread wide and draped over broad shoulders as his hips were gripped roughly and he was pounded into over and over again.



The door squeaked, snapping him out of the hell he was enduring in his mind. His eyes refocused and he looked up to see a familiar face smirking down at him. He relaxed a bit and released a shaky breath. It was just Axel’s brother. He wasn’t exactly pleased to see him, but he was just so relieved Lea wasn’t the faceless man from his nightmares.  He staggered to his feet, using the wall for support, trying to regain his composure.



“Damnit, Lea.” He chuckled, shaking his head a bit. “Haven’t you heard of knocking?”

Lea didn’t say anything. He reached out; giving the door a push, the slow squeak it made sent chills down Roxas’s spine. He suddenly felt like something bad was going to happen. He glanced over his shoulder at the nearly closed door then looked back at Lea who was still smirking.



Roxas didn’t like the look he was getting from him; it made him feel naked, like Lea was raping him with his eyes. Instinctively he took a step back, forgetting he was standing against the wall. “Will you say something already? You’re starting to freak me out…”



“That’s kind of the plan, Roxy.” Lea grinned. He stepped closer to Roxas until he was pinned against the wall.

Roxas felt his chest tighten and his mouth go dry. All of this was beginning to feel very familiar to him and he didn’t like that. “Lea…” He started, trying to speak around the large lump in his throat. “What are you doing…?”



“Just making some quick, easy money,” Lea replied, leaning in so close their noses were almost touching. “Don’t worry, Rox, it’s nothing personal.”



He pressed their lips together in a bruising kiss that took Roxas completely off guard. For a second he found himself returning it, his eyes slipping shut as he lost himself to his delusions that he was kissing Axel. But there was a little nagging voice in the back of his mind that told him he wasn’t and the reality of the situation hit him hard. His eyes snapped open and he shoved hard against Lea’s chest, succeeding in making him stumble back a little.



“What…what the hell was that?!” Roxas growled, panting hard and leveling Lea with an icy glare.



Lea collected himself and stepped up to him again. “Calm down. Relax. We’ll both enjoy it more.”

“Like hell!”



Roxas summoned every bit of strength he had and lifted his hands to shove Lea away again, but this time Lea was ready for him. A gasp of surprise escaped his lips as Lea caught one of his wrists in a fierce grip and squeezed harshly. He bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain. He was determined to not give Lea the satisfaction of hearing it. Their eyes met briefly, Roxas’s narrowed. They promised a world of pain if Lea didn’t let him go. Lea’s green eyes—so similar to Axel’s—were glazed over from lust, almost daring Roxas to do something. Roxas silently accepted the challenge as he remembered his other hand was free. He balled it into a fist and swung it upward, feeling an exhilarating sense of relief wash over him as it was close to connecting with Lea’s face.



Lea’s hand came up and grabbed a hold of Roxas’s wrist, effectively stopping what would have been a very painful punch in the face. He smirked as Roxas’s eyes grew wide in surprise then narrowed again. He released his hold on both of Roxas’s wrists only to slam him hard against the wall, pinning him there by his shoulders. Stunned by the force of the impact, Roxas was momentarily incapacitated and this gave Lea the perfect opportunity to lean in and capture Roxas’s lips in another kiss, sucking harshly on the lower lip, biting and tugging.

Roxas blinked a few times, slowly returning to his senses and instantly tried to get away from him. But Lea wouldn’t have that. He yanked him down so he was hunched over then brought his knee up and slammed it into his stomach. Roxas’s mouth fell open in a choking gasp as the wind was knocked out of him. His head was reeling and he felt nauseous. He felt Lea’s hands sliding down to the hem of his shirt, fingers brushing against his hip as he pulled the shirt up, successfully getting it over his head and flinging it over his shoulder to land somewhere on the floor behind him in a discarded heap.



He didn’t have the strength to fight back anymore. His chest heaved as he slowly got his breathing back under control. He turned his head away and closed his eyes as Lea ran both hands up and down his chest. He bit his lip to keep from making a noise as Lea’s thumbs brushed against his nipples, coaxing them to hardness. This whole thing was wrong. He was being assaulted by a man he had always thought was a friend, a good friend. It was that thought alone that brought the first sting of tears to his eyes.



“I’m not going to lie.” Lea started, rubbing a hand up and down Roxas’s right side, his thumb teasingly caressing the skin. Roxas opened his eyes, gritting his teeth as he glared down at him. “I can see why Axel likes you…”



“Oh really? And here I thought it was because of my personality.” Roxas said in a growl that tapered off into a gasping moan as Lea closed his mouth around one of his nipples. Everything was just too similar to the way Axel treated him and he was finding it much harder to resist with each passing second. He struggled to hold on to reality, constantly reminding himself that it was Lea doing this, that this was bordering on rape because Roxas sure as hell didn’t want this, no matter how much his body yearned for it.



“Heh, your personality bites,” Lea chuckled; emphasizing that with a sharp nip to Roxas’s other nipple. Roxas cursed and arched his back, teeth clenched together tightly. And then to add insult to injury, Lea suckled on the nipple like a little baby would to its mother’s breast. He swirled his tongue around and around the tip, while his free hand craftily slid up his chest, and pinched the other nipple.



“F-fuck!” Roxas gasped, the sensations were getting to be too much for his body to handle.



“That’s eventually the plan, sweetheart.”



Roxas had to try get away and fast, before he completely surrendered to Lea’s touch. He was panting hard, chest and forehead beginning to gleam with sweat. He was slowly starting to get hard and that wasn’t good. He lowered his head, trying to think of a way to escape that wouldn’t completely backfire on him.



Lea completely abandoned his nipples now to focus on the rest of Roxas’s body. He moved a bit lower, slowly sliding his tongue down the smooth expanse of Roxas’s stomach, pressing teasing nips and kisses here and there that sent shocks of pleasure through Roxas’s body leaving him with bittersweet feelings.



“You’re getting hard.” Lea smirked, moved his hand down to palm Roxas through his jeans.



“Don’t think for a second it’s because I’m enjoying it.” Roxas growled, trying, but not succeeding in twisting his wrists out of the tight hold Lea had on them.



“You’re telling me one thing, yet your body’s telling me another.”



And it certainly was. Roxas was completely hard now if the bulge straining against the confines pajama bottoms was any indication. Lea was winning, much to Roxas’s disgust. His eyes were darkened with lust, yet the raw anger he felt toward Lea was ever present, along with betrayal and his determination to get free.



Lea continued to fondle him, giving his hardened penis a small squeeze. Suddenly he stopped and looked up at Roxas with a sadistic smile that sent a shiver of fear down his spine. Before Roxas could even wonder what he was up to, Lea wrapped his arm around Roxas’s waist and slowly started to get to his feet, making sure their bodies were pressed together tightly as he slowly slid up Roxas’s body much like a stripper would.



Roxas let out hiss of pleasure and as if they had a mind of their own, his hips jerked forward. He growled low in his throat, hating what Lea was reducing him to. But he couldn’t deny that he wanted to feel that delicious friction of their bodies as they met in an intimate dance of grinding and gyrating.



Lea grabbed his chin and lowered his head, lips ghosting over the shell of his ear as he spoke into it in a low, husky voice that sent multiple shivers down Roxas’s spine.



“Can you handle what I’m about to do? ‘Cause it’s about to get rough for you.”



Somewhere in the back of his mind Roxas was groaning at how cliché Lea was for using a line from a song. But that thought was quite far away from the surface. If Roxas had been in his right mind he would have tried to get away from Lea again, but it was like the crafty bastard knew just how to touch him to make him putty in his hands. His knees were beginning to tremble now as Lea gently latched onto his ear lobe and sucked hard.



A keening moan tore from Roxas’s lips and his legs suddenly gave out on him. Lea easily caught him in his arms and gazed into Roxas’s eyes for a moment, Roxas stared back without a word. But there was no need for words. He knew exactly what Roxas wanted. He lowered him on the floor so his back was supported by the wall and smirked as he leaned back in and latched onto Roxas’s ear with his teeth.



“Aaahh…A-Axel…”



“Not quite, Roxy. But don’t worry, he’ll be coming soon. I’m getting you all ready for him.”



Roxas opened his mouth to say something nasty in response to that, but he didn’t get a chance to as he felt Lea’s fingers wrap around his penis. He moaned loudly, mentally cursing himself for giving in to the redhead, but it was too sinfully delicious to ignore. He promised himself that once he was released from lust’s spiteful hold he was going to make Lea wish he’d never existed.  



Lea released his penis and held a couple of fingers out to him. “Suck.” He commanded, his voice giving Roxas goose bumps.



Roxas gave him a half-hearted glare, but he couldn’t deny his body the pleasure it was yearning for, for too much longer. He parted kiss-bruised lips, reluctantly accepting the digits, sucking lightly on them.



“Get ‘em nice and wet, unless you want a lot of pain.” Lea smirked as Roxas obeyed, glazed sapphire eyes closing as he swirled his tongue around Lea’s fingers, sucking harder. “Good. That’s enough.”



A string of saliva clung to his fingers, dipping downwards until it broke completely. Lea took a moment to admire how shiny his fingers were then moved his hand down in between Roxas’s legs. He gave his balls a teasing caress first before moving on, locating his entrance. He didn’t give Roxas any warning as he pushed the first finger inside causing him to jolt and let out a hiss of pain. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, digging his fingers into the carpet.



When the second finger was inserted Roxas yelped and squirmed backward to try and escape the burning pain of being stretched so roughly, but the wall behind him prevented that from happening. He gnashed his teeth together, and the tiniest of whimpers slipped past his lips as Lea started scissoring his fingers inside of him. Then he added a third, un-lubricated finger.



“F-fuuck!” Roxas’s cry was anything but pleasure filled. A single tear slowly slid down his cheek and dripped onto the carpet.



“Stop being such a baby,” Lea chuckled. He thrust his fingers in and out of Roxas a few times, purposely avoiding his prostate. “Just because it turns Axel on, doesn’t mean it does the same for me. Personally, I think it’s annoying. But Axel wanted me to break you so you’d be the submissive little whore he loves. And since he’s paying me a hundred bucks for it…” He grinned, leaning in close, their lips barely touching. “I’d say it’s worth it.”



Roxas took a couple of deep breaths trying to block out the pain. Even though he was seeing a dark side of Lea he never knew about, there was still a part of him deep down that didn’t want to believe he could be so cold-hearted. He had too many good memories of him. But there was also a part of him that refused to break and Lea calling him a baby made that part of him boil in anger as he remembered all the times his old high school enemy, Seifer had called him that among other names.



“Don’t,” he growled weakly. He slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position and fixed Lea with the nastiest glare he could muster. “Call me a baby.”



Lea scoffed and took his fingers out of Roxas, giving him moment’s reprieve from the stabbing and burning pain. He gave him that slow grin from before. Roxas closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see it. “I’ll call you whatever I want. You’re gonna be crying like one soon.”



“Bring it on then.” Roxas took a deep breath, trying to hide how nervous he was right now. He knew it wasn’t smart to taunt the one who was about to fuck him, but he wasn’t going down without one last fight either.



“With pleasure,” Lea watched him tense up, mentally and physically getting prepared for the intrusion that never came. Roxas swallowed hard and slowly opened his eyes, confusion shining in them.



“If you’re going to do it, just do it and get it over with.” Roxas hoped he sounded more annoyed than scared, but there was no mistaking the waver in his voice. He wasn’t sure what Lea was planning, but he didn’t like it one bit. He felt like a small rabbit that was cornered by its pursuer. But rather than going straight for the kill, Lea wanted to mess with his head a little more. He narrowed his eyes as Lea leaned down, capturing his already sore lips in an erosive kiss. He gasped, not expecting that all. Lea bit down hard on his lower lip, instantly drawing blood. He bit back a yelp, and turned his head to the side, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, licking away the blood. The taste of copper filled his mouth and he made a face.



Now Lea was just pissing him off. He growled and looked back at Lea. He just smiled. Something about that smile made him feel sick to his stomach. Lea leaned in for another kiss, biting his lip again. Suddenly his whole body was engulfed in a fire that felt like it came from the pits of Hell itself. His back arched and a tortured scream tore from his throat, tapering off into a sob. His eyes were wide and filling with fresh tears. Through blurred vision he could see Lea gazing down at him triumphantly.



So that’s what happened. The asshole was inside him now. No warnings, no indication of any kind, just a very painful kiss, followed by an even more painful penetration.



And then Lea started thrusting. The fire engulfed him again, cocooning him in a coffin of pain. Tears ran unchecked down his cheeks as he struggled to keep himself from passing out. But then Lea hunched forward, grabbing his hips, digging his nails deep into the skin, and picked up the pace, thrusting faster and harder. Another scream filled the air. He felt like he was being split in half! In one last fruitless attempt to fight back, he lifted his arms and tried to push Lea off him, but he was just in too much pain. He dug his nails so deeply into the carpet that they were starting to leave little crescent-shaped marks on the surface. He was getting absolutely no pleasure from this brutal mockery of love making.

Roxas was starting to lose sense of time as Lea continuously thrust in and out of him. He didn’t have a clue how long he laid there for, his body jolting with each thrust, vision fading in and out. It was like his spirit completely detached itself from his body and he was standing off on the sidelines, watching Axel’s brother fuck his body. It was a strange feeling, and he didn’t like it at all. He couldn’t feel a thing, and that’s what scared him the most, because it was him who was getting fucked. So why wasn’t he feeling it anymore? Was he paralyzed? Was that why he was lying there…just taking it and not screaming anymore?



After what felt like hours to Roxas, Lea finally grunted in a way that had Roxas thinking he was close to coming. His thrusting got faster; he was sweating, hunched over Roxas’s virtually lifeless body. He dug his nails into his hips, threw his head back and let out a shuddering groan as he spilled himself deep inside Roxas’s body.



And then…it was over.



Roxas’ eyes were beginning to refocus and the first thing he took in was Lea starting to sit up with a very satisfied grin. His ability to feel was slowly returning, and with it, he felt the excruciating pain that made him hide in the deepest darkest corner of his mind in the first place. But even his mind had not been able to save him for very long. The images of Lea fucking him so hard were forever ingrained. His cries and pleas for him to stop, they were still echoing in his head.



As he lay there trying to piece his broken spirit back together and trying so hard not to break down with fresh tears he heard a sound other than his and Lea’s heavy breathing. Footsteps. They sounded so loud to his overly sensitive ears; each step seemed to make the floor shake. Or maybe that was his beating heart, thumping hard against his chest in fear as the footsteps drew nearer. Lea pulled out of him with a disgusting slurp noise that made him shudder. He would have wrapped his arms around his body and curled into a ball if he wasn’t in so much pain.

“Axel’s here~”



Those two simple words, they sent multiple shivers down Roxas’s spine. It was the way Lea said them, in a creepy sing-song voice backed up by pure glee. It scared him to death. He looked down at Roxas, a cruel smile crossing his lips. The door squeaked and shifted slightly and Roxas looked past Lea. There stood Axel, arms folded, watching Roxas with the tiniest of smirks.



Roxas found himself paralyzed by an ice cold fear. Something told him that Axel would be merciless if he got he got his hands on him and the very thought was making him shake. He realized Axel’s poisonous eyes were gazing down at his midsection and despite the pain the flared though his body, he managed to cover himself with his hands, even though it wasn’t anything Axel had already seen. But his eyes had such a hungry look in them.



Axel’s smirk grew and Lea got to his feet stretching like he just woke up from a nice sleep. He moved aside as Axel came closer.



“S-stay the fuck away from me…” Roxas warned his voice weak and hoarse. But Axel only laughed and crouched down in front of him. Roxas tried to back away, but the wall stopped him from going any farther. “I-I mean it, Axel…” He swallowed hard, “you come any closer and I’ll kick you.”

“What happened to not wanting to hurt me?” His tone was mocking as he disregarded the threat and as quick as a snake, he reached out and grabbed Roxas’s wrists, crossed them, and pinned them to the wall above his head.



“Kiss my ass.” Roxas tried to sound fiercer, but his throat hurt to talk so it came out in a whisper. He closed his eyes, steeling himself against the pain, and struggled to get his wrists out of Axel’s grip. But he stopped when he saw the smile that stretched across Axel’s lips. It was like the equivalent to that of a thirty year old fat man who liked touching kids. He had to bite back a whimper.



“Is that an invitation, Roxy?” Axel leaned in close, all but purring in his ear. Roxas swallowed hard. Axel’s green eyes brightened with elation as he pulled away to look him over again. “I was planning to just fuck you, but if you really want the kiss…”



Roxas’s eyes widened. Now he understood what Axel was getting at. He shuddered and struggled harder. “N-no! No, Axel! Don’t, please!”



“You don’t have much of a choice.” Axel said with a grin as he ran his free hand down Roxas’s chest, pinching one of his nipples. Roxas bit back a moan, still sensitive from Lea screwing around with him. “I know every part of your body. I can make you putty with just one touch.” His hand pinched the other nipple then slid down lower, lower until his fingers brushed Roxas’s thigh. “Just imagine how my tongue will make you feel…”



“NO!” Roxas’s stomach flip-flopped. The very idea of Axel’s tongue going where it shouldn’t made him want to vomit. He struggled wildly, biting down hard on his lip to keep from screaming out in pain as he tried to maneuver his body enough to knee Axel in the crotch.



Axel growled, losing his grip on Roxas’s wrists. He wouldn’t be able to stop Roxas bucking about like a wild horse unless he had help. “Lea, hold his arms. Just for a few minutes. I doubt he’ll complain once I’ve started.”



Lea complied, pinning Roxas’s wrists to the wall again while Axel spread his legs and situated himself in between them.



Roxas simply gave up, closing his eyes tightly. He felt as though everything was crumbling down around him. Everything he once knew, it was all a lie.

                                                                                                                                                    ***

Axel felt like his lungs were on fire as he raced down the dimly lit streets, making sharp turns without slowing down, nearly slipping on the rain-slicked sidewalk. He was soaked right to the bone, his clothing sticking to him uncomfortably making his skin sting and pinch with every movement he made. His usually spiky hair was flattened down from the force of the rain and dripping incessantly into his eyes or down the sides of his face. None of that bothered him though, not as much as the thought that something might be wrong with Roxas. That was the only thing that kept him going, the need to get to the house and see if Roxas was ok.

Up ahead, he could see the burning white light of the convenience store shining brightly like a beacon in the night. Relief flooded through him. All he had to do was reach that store and then make a left down the street across from it, and three houses down, he’d be there. Thunder cracked overhead and he caught a flash of lightning out of his peripheral vision. Seeing that only made him more anxious to get there. It was like the storm was a sign something bad was happening. 

Lighting flashed again, and as Axel skidded around the corner, it finally happened. His shoes didn’t have enough traction against the wet cement; he slipped backwards, arms wind-milling as he tried to catch his balance. He landed hard on his back and cracked his head painfully against the sidewalk. For a moment he saw little balls of white light sparking up and he was pretty sure it wasn’t the lightning. He lay there dazed for a few minutes. He blinked many times and slowly moved his arms, testing them for any broken bones, and then he pushed himself up into a sitting position, establishing he didn’t have any spinal injuries.



Axel winced as he got to his feet, ignoring the pain that shot up his back as he straightened up. He brushed himself off and started off again, gritting his teeth as he half ran, half limped to the house. Once he finally reached it, he nearly tripped on the steps leading up to the front porch. He collapsed against the door, breathing hard like he just ran a fifty mile marathon. He cursed under his breath and pushed his wet hair out of his face as he looked around, realizing he didn’t have his keys or anything on him.



He took a moment to think and looked to his left. A lone flower pot with a bunch of yellow and red pansies sat innocently near the wall of the porch, the colorful flowers getting battered by the wind and rain. They didn’t look to be doing too well despite the weather. In fact, they were starting to wilt. Axel sighed and ran a hand over his face as he crouched down beside the pot. He had bought the pansies as an anniversary present for Roxas for their fourth year together, and Roxas promised he’d never let them die. That must only mean that the blond himself was in no better condition…and it was all Axel’s fault.



Axel gazed sadly at one of the pansies and gently pinched a petal between his thumb and finger; it retained its soft, almost silky texture even though it was clearly dying. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out through his nose. He reopened his eyes, filled with a new determination. These flowers didn’t have to die. If they were given the proper love and treatment, he might be able to save them before it was too late. He started digging through the soil, which was wet from the rain, oblivious to how dirty he was getting. He frowned as he searched; praying Roxas didn’t think to remove it. Then suddenly he felt something solid and cold against his fingers and let out a triumphant sound upon finding the spare key.



He plucked it up and got to his feet, wasting no time unlocking the door. He braced himself as he pushed it open and stepped into his house for the first time in two weeks. It was quiet, almost like the calm before the storm, despite the one raging on outside. The bad feeling Axel had about Roxas only intensified. He started for the stairs, but stopped when he was passing the living room. In the glow of the kitchen light, he spotted a picture lying face down on the coffee table, and was drawn to it. He walked over slowly as though he were in a daze, taking a deep breath before turning it over.



It was a picture of them. In fact, it was the same one Roxas had thrown at him when he yelled at him to get out. It had many wrinkles in it, like it had been crumpled up and smoothed back out then stuffed hastily into a new frame. Axel rubbed his forehead and sat down on the couch, gazing at the picture, momentarily taken back to that time where he and Roxas went to Roxas’s parents for Thanksgiving two years ago. He remembered they had just eaten and went out back to sit on the porch swing and watch a spectacular sunset. Roxas had complained of a stomach ache and laid his head on Axel’s shoulder, with Axel’s arms around him. Not long after, they were discovered by Roxas’s brother Sora who took a picture claiming that to be the most adorable thing he’d ever seen, gushing about how happy they looked, regardless of the fact that Roxas didn’t feel well.



Looking at it now, Axel could see just what Sora meant. Roxas was looking up at Axel, smiling softly, and Axel had leaned down, their lips inches away from each other. Sora had taken the picture just as they were about to kiss, bathed in soft orange and reds from the setting sun, capturing a truly beautiful moment between the two. He could see the love and adoration he had always felt for Roxas shining on his face and in his eyes brighter than the sun even, while Roxas’s face was free of any of the worries or frustration he usually faced on a day to day basis due to college and all that came with it. He looked so content and peaceful, and very much in love.



Then Axel ruined it, he ruined everything. All because he wanted to try and give their sex life a little more spice by taking the rape fantasy to a more realistic level. He never imagined it would backfire so badly. He ran his fingers over the cold glass, touching Roxas’s face, wishing with all his heart that such a serene expression would grace his angelic features once more. As he got to his feet, putting the picture back on the coffee table and setting it up properly, he vowed he would do whatever it took to mend their relationship and make that happen. And that was all the motivation he needed as he made his way out of the living room, only just remembering what he came over for. He frowned, that bad feeling flaring up again as he reached the stairs, just as a heart-wrenching scream came from their room.



Dread as cold and thick as ice washed over him, freezing his frantically beating heart for only just a few seconds before his dream-clogged brain finally issued the order for him to move—and move he did. He took the stairs two at a time, nearly skidding into the wall at the top, but swerving just in time and ran down the hall to the bedroom. As he got closer the screaming died down to sobs and Axel was all ready to bust the door in, but he was surprised to see it was slightly ajar and the light was off.



The sobbing got louder as he eased the door open slowly, cringing at the loud squeak it made, making a mental note to get that fixed later. But mainly he was tense, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, hoping that whatever was happening in the room he still had the element of surprise. He didn’t hear sobbing anymore and tried to control the panic that welled up inside of him, threatening to burst forth and make him do something he was sure he might regret later. He needed to face the attacker with a clear head, especially if he didn’t have a weapon. But as he looked around the room, something felt off. The dim orange glow from the streetlight outside the window was casting just enough light for him to see the empty, unmade bed. The water droplets running down the window made an eerie portrait against the wall, depicting dark round and twisted blots of black against the grey-white canvas.



And then he heard another sob, hoarse and broken, followed by a whimper. He tensed, steeling himself as he turned around, half expecting to find Roxas standing there, clothing torn and bloody, body bruised and broken—but he only saw darkness. However, as though a beacon were showing the way, a flash of lighting lit up the room and he caught a glimpse of disheveled blond hair, wrinkled clothing, and piercing blue eyes shining with tears. Axel wanted to go to him, pull him into his arms and kiss away whatever nightmares he was experiencing, but after watching him for a second, he could tell Roxas wasn’t having an ordinary nightmare.



“Y-you promised!” Roxas rasped, another flash of lightning catching his huddled form pressed up against the wall. He was staring right at Axel, but he had a feeling Roxas wasn’t actually aware of his presence. “You said you’d never do it! H-how can I ever trust you a-again? I-I t-t-trusted yoooou!” He let out a wail that ended in a violent series of sobs.

Thunder, which had been way off in the distance before suddenly cracked loudly, startling not only Axel, but Roxas as well. For a brief second in a double flash of lightning he saw Roxas staring at him rather than through him. His eyes widened and he blinked a few times only to lapse back into the torture chamber of his mind. Axel saw him turn his head to the left and look up at nothing. But whatever Roxas thought he was seeing must have been extremely frightening for him because he flattened himself against the wall and tearfully implored whoever it was he was seeing not to hurt him. He looked to his right, shirking away from an invisible force, head snapping back to the left again. Suddenly his whole body went rigid and he let out a pathetic whimper.



“No…no not again…please…please not again!” Roxas started struggling against the unseen force, continuously begging and pleading. But he lost in the end and let out the most despairing wail Axel had ever heard and frankly he never wanted to hear it again. It struck him through to his very core. “Why are you doing this?” He sobbed, voice sounding as though his throat had been cut up with razorblades. “I th-thought you lo-loved me!”



Axel had the most unsettling feeling that Roxas was seeing him...but it was a different version of him, one that was anything but kind, if the screams and sobs that bounced off the walls were any indication. He wished he knew what to do, whether he should try and snap Roxas out of it or not, but he remembered hearing somewhere that you shouldn’t try and wake someone who’s in a state like the one Roxas was currently in. He frowned. No, that didn’t sound right. It was sleep walkers that shouldn’t be awakened. Something about shocking the system and possibly doing more harm than good.



“Damnit…” He growled, clenching his jaw. What the hell was he supposed to do? Stand there while his boyfriend suffered mental trauma that was his fault in the first place? No. No, he wasn’t going to let Roxas suffer anymore. He narrowed his eyes and started over to the huddled form behind the door.

“Nngh…no, no, no, no, no please, L-Lea, no! A-Axel, please st-stop!”

Axel froze, staring wide-eyed at the distressing sight before him, heart stopping briefly. Tears of shame pricked at the corners of his eyes and he closed them tightly, clenching a hand into a tight fist. His body shook with repressed anger that he felt only for himself. He found himself wondering once more why the hell he had done that to Roxas, why he tricked him into a false sense of security and took advantage of him at his most vulnerable time. Roxas had begged for him to stop, but he ignored the red flag he received and continued on, convincing himself that Roxas would eventually calm down and accept it because he’d recognize him, and how he felt. But that hadn’t been the case at all. And what was worse, he dragged his brother into it as well. All of this…was his fault, no one else’s.



He growled, shaking his head, ridding himself of his thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to have a pity-me-party. He had to help Roxas. As he started forward once more, determined to snap Roxas out of his current mental state, lightning flashed and it was like its sole purpose was to help him. In its eerie white-blue light he noticed the glint of something on the floor next to Roxas. Upon closer inspection he realized it was a knife. He cursed under his breath and hurriedly bent, snatching it up.



“What the hell were you doing with a knife?” He asked the blond, glancing down at him, although he didn’t expect a proper answer. He sighed and placed the knife down on the dresser then went back over to Roxas. His eyes were wide open, face streaked with dried tears only for new ones to fall and replenish the tracks. “Fuck…fuck…I really messed up. C’mon. C’mon, babe. C’mon look at me. Look at me, Rox.”

“N-no…” Roxas choked, “Please, I can’t! P-please st-stop!” His voice was nothing but a mangled whisper, throat so raw sounding, Axel could feel the pain himself whenever he spoke.



Axel abandoned caution now, wanting only to comfort Roxas and that meant he’d do whatever it took to get him to snap out of it. He gently, but firmly took hold of Roxas’s shoulders, shaking him gently, trying to get the glassy blue eyes to meet his panic filled green ones. So far he wasn’t having any luck and his actions only seemed to make things worse.

“No! No! Stop! Don’t touch me! No!” Roxas thrashed and flailed about, pushing at Axel, kicking, biting, and doing anything he could to get away. His mind and body had gone completely into self-preservation mode. And physically, on Axel’s side of struggle, Roxas was perfectly fit.

He grunted as he received a blow to the side of the face, and a kick in the stomach, but he didn’t let that deter him from his goal of getting Roxas to snap the hell out of it.



“Roxas!” He ducked, just managing to avoid another blow to the face. “Roxas, listen to me! You’re hallucinating. It’s me, Roxas. It’s me. It’s Axel. Calm do—shit!” He flinched at the stinging pain of Roxas’s finger nails raking a path down his cheek.

“Don’t touch me! Leave me alone! Leave me ALONE!” Roxas squirmed away from him, eyes wild. “Stay…away….from…me!” His voice cracked badly.



Axel sighed and backed off for a second, assessing the situation. Roxas still wasn’t in his right mind, obviously, and he was completely cornered behind the door—so God only knew what that appeared as in his eyes. He was seriously running out of ideas and Roxas didn’t look like he was going to come out of it any time soon. He tried moving toward him once more, but got a well aimed kick to the chest. He fell backwards, gasping and coughing as he hit the carpeted floor. He groaned and slowly rolled onto his side.



“Shit, Rox…” He grunted, coughing again. “If this were a WWE tournament, I’d say you just kicked my ass.” He pushed himself up. “Listen to me, Roxas—whoa, holy fuck that was close!” He winced, momentarily rubbing his upper thigh, trying not to think of how that would have turned out if a powerful kick such as that one had hit central. He muttered a prayer under his breath then lunged forward, catching Roxas off guard for a second as he wrapped his arms around him in a loving embrace.



“No! No, let me go! Let me—“ Roxas struggled against him once more, but was interrupted by a nasty, congested cough.



Axel took the opportunity to hold him tighter, placing a hand on the back of his head, gently pressing his face into his chest. He whispered soothingly. “It’s alright, Little Dove, you’re safe. I promise. You’re only hallucinating.”

Suddenly, as if that little pet name were the key, Roxas’s struggles lessened and his body went limp against Axel. Axel looked down at him and smiled in relief to see him blinking rapidly, realization slowly dawning. He shivered violently and Axel held him tighter, pressing a kiss to his head and gently stroking the fluffy golden spikes. Roxas’s breathing was still uneven, coming out in short; quick gasps, but as Axel continually reassured him that everything was fine, it slowly regulated and his chest stopped heaving.



“There you go, Rox. That’s good, you’re doing well.” He felt Roxas clutch his shirt tightly and his smile widened as he slowly looked, examining Axel’s face, confusion in his eyes.



“What…what happened?” He rasped, wincing and lifting a hand to his throat. “God, I feel like crap…” His voice transitioned to a whisper, completely giving out on him.

“You were…hallucinating.” Axel felt the self-hatred and guilt return now that everything was back to normal.

“Whatever it was I don’t like it. I have this weird feeling…like…like a cold fear…like I’ll never be happy again.” Roxas’s body shuddered involuntarily and he let go of Axel, pulling away and wrapping his arms around himself.



Axel just barely heard what he said, his voice not breaking from its whispering state now. No doubt that would stay with him for at least a week. He sighed, feeling the burn of tears once more, and lifted a hand to his face trying to pass it off as exhaustion. A single tear slipped down his cheek making the scratch he got from Roxas flare painfully, but he ignored it. He closed his eyes as the tear made its decent to his chin, travelling slower and slower, breaching the edge of his chin then dropped and silently hit the floor.



“I’m sorry, Roxas.” He sighed, rubbing his face, stopping more tears from following the first. “I screwed up bad.”

Roxas looked over at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes. He was too ashamed, too full of self-loathing. What kind of person hurt their boyfriend? The answer to that was, not a person, but a monster. He was a monster. He exhaled slowly and rubbed his eyes again, determined not to do something as pathetic as crying in front of Roxas. He was a grown man, and someone like Axel did not cry. Not easily anyway. He had way too much pride. But pride be damned if it meant he could repair the damage he had caused in their relationship.



The storm outside must be over. There hadn’t been a flash of lightning in a while and he didn’t hear any thunder, only a gentle patter of rain against the window. But just because that storm was over, didn’t mean the one inside had passed. He had a feeling this storm was just getting started.

Roxas started to get up but his legs were too unsteady and he fell to the floor on his hands and knees. Axel snapped out of self pity mode again when that happened and he reverted to the loving boyfriend he wanted to prove to Roxas that he was. No more of that non-consensual fantasy shit now. It was all about the love from here on out. He scooped Roxas into his arms before the blond had a chance to realize what was happening, and got to his feet, walking over to the bed. He placed Roxas down and pulled the covers over his still shaking body.



“Feelin’ better now, Rox?”

“A little,” Roxas wrapped his arms around himself as he looked up at Axel. Their eyes met briefly and Axel offered him a smile, but Roxas shivered and looked away. “Can you…can you get me a glass of water?”



Axel chuckled softly, resisting the urge to reach out and ruffle Roxas’s hair. “Sure thing dove.”



Roxas blushed at that and Axel’s smile widened into a full blown grin. He was going to take that reaction as a good sign, a sign that things would be ok between the two of them. His spirits soared with that thought and he nearly skipped out of the room. He came back a few minutes later, holding a glass of water, and stopped as he walked in to see Roxas frowning. He approached him cautiously and held out the glass. “Everything ok, babe?”



Roxas took the water without a word, drinking a little, and then set the half full glass on the nightstand. His frown deepened and Axel felt the urge to bolt. He looked up and their eyes met again, but this time he didn’t look away. “Why are you here?”

Axel sighed. He should have known better than to let his heart fabricate lies to make him believe he and Roxas were alright. Did he really think he could get off so easily? Receive a slap to the wrist and a ‘don’t do it again’ and then everything would be fine? He was a fool. There was no way Roxas would forgive him that easily, not after all that happened.



“I was worried about you, Rox. I called and you weren’t answering your phone so I—“



“Hold on.” Roxas interrupted. “You called earlier?”



“Yeah, because I wanted—“



“What the hell, Axel…”



He couldn’t tell if Roxas was angry at him or not. He was frowning, but he looked exhausted more than anything. His face was pale and drawn out with heavy bags underneath puffy, bloodshot eyes. Axel looked away from the despairing sight. It only served to remind him of what an asshole he was. His boyfriend, his little dove, was losing sleep and suffering from nightmares and hallucinations because of what he did.



“Never mind, forget about it.” Roxas yawned and Axel had the overwhelming urge to crawl in with him and cuddle up beside him. He looked over at the window—the sky had brightened considerably despite the thick covering of clouds creating that dull, dismal atmosphere. The rain was only a light drizzle now. “We’ll talk later. You can sleep on the couch.”



Axel tried not to let his disappointment show. He longed to hold him, to feel the comforting warmth of the smaller body pressed up against his chest. He wanted to whisper in his ear telling him how much he loved and adored him. He wanted to breathe in the intoxicating smell of his apple scented shampoo. He wanted to listen to the light breathing, feel it against his neck. He wanted to feel his heart beating steadily, in sync with his own.  Instead he was getting what he deserved. A cold and lonely, dark room to reflect his misery.



Roxas laid his head against the pillow and sighed deeply, instantly asleep the moment he shut his eyes. Axel smiled heartedly and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead before straightening up and reluctantly leaving the room. He wasted no time getting out of his wet clothes, drying off, and slipping into some new ones he had brought with him on the way out of the room. He made his way down the steps and into the living room, his bare feet padding softly across the cold floor, sending a shock of chills throughout his body. He shivered, turning to look out one of the windows which weren’t covered by a blind, taking note of how much brighter the sky was getting, yet the clouds were still much too thick for the sun’s warm light to penetrate. It was like his love for Roxas. And his mistake was impenetrable.

*** 

It was the crisp, greasy smell of bacon and the delicious, mouth-watering aroma of scrambled eggs that roused Roxas from the best sleep he’d had in a while. As he blinked his bleary eyes open, he became aware of just how much stronger those smells had gotten and came nearly face to face with a tray that contained a plate of bacon, soft and fluffy scrambled eggs, and a couple pieces of toast with butter. There was also a glass of something creamy and brown and he stared at it in confusion for a second before his brain finally caught up with everything and registered it as chocolate milk.



His stomach rumbled loudly and he had to swallow to keep himself from drooling. He tore his gaze away from the breakfast that had to have been sent from heaven by an angel or God himself. But as he looked up, he saw that his angel was none other than Axel. He stared at his smiling face in confusion, trying to figure out why he was here. Then he remembered last night and sighed.



“What is this?” He asked, his voice still just a whisper. It really hurt to talk and he was beginning to consider writing things down.

Roxas didn’t miss how Axel’s face fell, and he had to look away so he didn’t have to see it anymore. He felt bad for treating him this way even after he brought him breakfast, but he didn’t actually think Roxas was going to push aside everything that happened, and welcome him back with open arms did he?



“It’s breakfast, Rox,” Axel said after a moment of silence. He shifted awkwardly. “I know you probably hate me right now, but I figured what the hell. It’s the least I can do.” He paused, adding a few seconds later, “Don’t worry, I didn’t poison it.”

Roxas blushed at that. He wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but his thoughts did go there briefly. He studied the appetizing tray of food once more, unable to deny himself nourishment, and reluctantly pushed himself into a sitting position, accepting the tray when Axel placed it down on his lap. The mixed smells of food were making him ravenous and without a word, he bent his head and speared a piece of bacon with his fork, pushing it past his lips. The greasy, smoked taste of the bacon made his taste buds dance. There was absolutely nothing off when it came to the taste.

He swallowed and reached for the glass of chocolate milk, taking a few gulps, before looking up at Axel again. The smile was back, and his green eyes seemed to almost twinkle. He couldn’t help but return the smile, licking his lips, and wiping his mouth with a napkin Axel had thoughtfully provided on the tray.



“I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” Axel chuckled, starting to turn and leave, but Roxas stopped him.



“Wait.” He stopped and Roxas took a deep breath, looking at the tray then back at him. He knew things were never going to be the same between them now, but maybe…maybe he should be a little more considerate. After all, Axel did go out of his way to make this. “Thank you.”



“No problem, Roxy.” Axel grinned, reaching out toward him, but the sudden movement made Roxas stiffen as that cold fear from last night came back to him. Axel quickly retracted his hand, looking sad. “Sorry. I’ll let you eat now.”



“No. No, it’s fine.” Roxas closed his eyes and breathed slowly, tears gathering in his eyes as he realized how stupid he was being. He was afraid of Axel. His boyfriend, the man he had loved since high school. Maybe he had a reason to be once, but there was absolutely nothing to worry about now. They loved each other. He swallowed hard and reopened his eyes as the feeling passed. He lifted the tray a little and shifted his legs, making room for Axel to sit down. “I feel like sharing.” He patted the edge of the bed a little stiffly and offered him a small, hesitant smile.



Axel looked a little indecisive, but Roxas gave him a nod to let him know it was alright. He rubbed the back of his neck then finally sat down on the bed, keeping hands on his legs. Roxas found himself smiling at how utterly adorable Axel was being right now. He was feeling that strong bond of love the two had and could easily imagine this moment as a normal day, even though there was still a bit of tension in the air. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end now that Axel was sitting on the bed. He had given him permission to, but he still felt a little jumpy despite that. He was glad he didn’t ask Axel to join him under the covers as well.

“So, you talk to your brother lately?” Axel broke the long silence, reaching for a piece of bacon. He popped it into his mouth and chewed, waiting for Roxas’s response.

“Not really.” Roxas didn’t look at him as he pushed a forkful of eggs past his lips. He took a drink of the chocolate milk then silently held it out to Axel, he shook his head and Roxas put the glass back on the tray. “I talked to him two weeks ago…” He trailed off and took a bite of the toast.

Axel just nodded and pinched some eggs between his fingers. He tilted his head back and dropped the food into his open mouth. Roxas raised an eyebrow and shook his head, holding back a grin of amusement as he finished off his toast. A few minutes later all of the food was eaten and the glass that had once contained chocolate milk was empty.

Roxas wiped his mouth on the napkin and Axel took the tray from him, setting it on the floor. He watched as he straightened up and for a shameless moment his eyes glanced at Axel’s ass. He had the urge to reach out and slap it, but his mind supplied a disturbing image of Axel turning around, giving him a creepy grin that made the breakfast he had just eaten, rise up in his throat, sitting idly. He swallowed hard and looked away, focusing solely on making sure he didn’t lose his breakfast prematurely.



“So…” Axel sounded nervous he sat back down on the bed.



Roxas managed to get his stomach back under control with a small series of breathing exercises. He glanced up and was surprised to see something he hadn’t noticed during the whole time since Axel had been there. He studied the dark stubble growing along Axel’s face and chin. “You’ve lost sleep too…” He mumbled.



“What’s that?”



“Nothing,” he cleared his throat. It wasn’t hurting as much as before, but his voice still had that scratchy, whispery quality to it. “What were you planning to say?”



Axel looked nervous, and was fiddling with something in his pocket. He leaned forward and took one of Roxas’s hands in his own. “Roxas, I know what I did to you was really…really stupid.”



“No duh…”



Axel gently caressed his knuckles with his thumb and an unexplainable fear filled Roxas's veins, coursing through them like frozen dread. He felt his heart starting to beat faster, his palms beginning to sweat. He pulled his hand away, staring into Axel’s green eyes with a silent warning. Something was about to happen…something bad. He watched as Axel got to his feet and took out a little gold rimmed, navy felt box.



Suddenly Roxas felt like he couldn’t breathe. He shook his head furiously, feeling tears burning in his eyes as Axel started to get down on one knee. “No. No, Axel. Don’t do it. Please don’t do it. Please…” His voice shook and his throat tightened with a mixture of emotions.



Axel took his hand again. “Roxas, you know I love you. I know you love me too. I know you’re scared of me, but just…give me another chance. I was a dick that night, but that was a mistake, one I won’t be making again.”

“Axel, please…” Roxas hated how pathetic he sounded, like a little weak kitten begging for some food, or a drug addict needing a fix. “If you really do love me…you won’t do this.”



“I need to do this.” Axel smiled, lifting Roxas’s hand, kissing the knuckles. He gazed into Roxas’s deep, blue eyes, and Roxas gazed back, feeling as though he were lost in a forest of green—with no hope of survival.

He opened the box slowly with a squeaky creaking noise, revealing a gold ring with a sparkling white diamond. Roxas’s breath caught in his throat as he stared down at the beautiful treasure. Fresh tears stung his eyes, flowing over, slipping down his cheeks slowly. He thought he caught something engraved in the gold band and leaned in a little, a sob escaping his lips as he read it.



For My Beautiful Dove



“A-Axel…” He choked out, blinking many times to clear his blurry vision as more tears spilled. “Axel…I…”



Axel gazed up at him tenderly, as he said the words that all excited Roxas, yet scared him greatly at all the same time.



“Roxas, the love of my life, my light in the dark, the wings for my heart—will you marry me?”