A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the review and the hits/ratings. I hope you guys enjoy chapter two and please review! There is some Hawke/Isabela in this chapter. So enjoy :)
THE AFTERMATH
CHAPTER 2
When Hawke opened her eyes the next morning, she knew it was extremely early. The fire seemed to be just dying down and there was a faint glow of sunlight in the distance. She couldn’t remember when she had fallen asleep, but she knew it had been after her emotional breakdown. She was still lying in between Merrill and Isabela. Merrill had shifted in her sleep and was now several inches away from Hawke. Isabela still had her arm slung across her best friend’s waist.
Hawke lay there for several moments, staring up at the sky.
She knew she had been having bad dreams, but now that she was awake they were slipping away and she couldn’t remember exactly what they had been about. She had some sort of clue, however. Realizing she needed to relieve herself, Hawke eased herself out from under Isabela’s arm. The other woman remained sleeping and did not stir. Sitting up, Hawke looked around. Varric was lying on his bedroll about a foot away from the women, Bianca cradled to his chest, which Hawke was sure was dangerous.
Fenris had fallen asleep leaning against the tree, and she briefly wondered if he had been trying to stay awake and keep watch. She also wondered how long he had watched her sleep, because she knew his eyes had been on her.
She stood on her wobbly legs and wandered off in search of a place to do her business. Her whole body felt weak and she herself was exhausted. She knew she could do with several more hours sleep, but she also knew they couldn’t afford to sleep in. They were still a lot closer to Kirkwall then she would have liked. They needed to figure out a destination and head in that direction. She found a secluded spot and relieved herself before making her way back towards camp. She was almost there when there was a movement and a flash of blue and white. She suddenly found herself pinned to the ground.
She looked into the fierce green eyes she had tried to avoid the night before.
“Fenris! It’s me! Get off!” she snapped. He had knocked the wind out of her and she was struggling to breath with his weight on her chest and his hand around her throat.
It took him a moment to recognize it was her and his fierce expression dropped. He hurriedly lifted himself off of her. “My apologies,” he said, extending his hand to help her up. “But you should not be wandering around by yourself at this early hour.” She knocked his hand out of the way, scowling as she got to her feet on her own.
“I had to relieve myself,” she huffed, brushing the dirt, grass and dried leaves from her clothes. “Or is it a crime to pee?”
Fenris scowled back at her. “You of all people should not go anywhere alone, Hawke,” he said, following her towards camp.
“Me of all people?”
He did not respond, simply gave her a pointed look. There were still a little ways from camp, so they walked back together in silence. The air was thick with tension as the two made sure they did not look at each other at all. When Fenris spoke, it surprised Hawke.
“We never talked about what happened between us three years ago-”
“This is definitely not the time, or the place,” Hawke cut in. the last thing she wanted to talk about was what might have been.
“I understand you are going through a difficult time,” Fenris continued. “But that night, I just wanted to say-”
“Fenris, I said, ‘Not now’!” Hawke snapped with a glare.
Fenris shut his mouth and glared at her. They didn’t speak the rest of the way to the camp. When they got there, the others were starting to pack up camp. Hawke and Fenris joined them before they started their journey. Hawke didn’t speak to or look at any of her companions. But about half way through the day, she realized they had no destination. They had just been wandering aimlessly.
“Where are we going?” Merrill asked, voicing the question that was on everyone’s mind.
They were silent and Hawke took a moment to think. They needed to keeping moving, she knew that much. But she also knew they couldn’t wander forever. They needed to find a place to settle and hide, and it needed to be as far away from Kirkwall as possible. She had barely started coming up with some kind of plan when Isabela spoke up. “There is one place we can go where they won’t really look or you,” she said.
Hawke looked at her quizzically.
“Rivain,” Isabela said.
“We’re a long way from Rivain,” Varric said.
“But think about it,” Isabela said. “We’ve got a peaceful relationship with elves, so Merrill and Fenris won’t stand out…well, Merrill won’t stand out. Merrill would have to hide her magic, but considering what’s going on in the world that’s going to happen anywhere…we’ll tan you up and give you some piercings, you’ll blend right in!”
“It’s up to you, Hawke,” Varric said. “I think we’ve proven that we will go with you anywhere.”
“We’re going to have to go through Antiva,” Fenris spoke up. He didn’t sound too pleased about that fact.
Hawke really didn’t see any better option and sighed. “Okay, sounds like a plan,” she said.
“Ooo this should be fun!” Merrill said. “We get to travel to new and exciting places.”
Hawke smiled slightly at her enthusiasm. She really didn’t care either way. The group made idle chit chat throughout the day, but not much was actually discussed. The further away they moved from Kirkwall, the better Hawke began to feel. She tried her best not to think about Anders because she didn’t feel like crying again. She knew her friends were watching her as they walked; she caught Merrill staring numerous times. She wanted to assure them she would be okay. She had let out most of her pain the night before when she had sobbed uncontrollably.
To keep her mind off of their situation, she tried to focus on her surroundings. Isabela was leading the group, for no other reason then she vaguely knew where they were going. Hawke was behind her, while Varric and Merrill followed Hawke and Fenris brought up the rear. They came across some traveling traders and bought some food and supplies off of them. Otherwise, they saw no one else.
This time when night fell, Hawke felt better now that she had a tent to sleep in. She set it up away from her friends, wanting her own space. After a wonderful (yet silent) dinner prepared by Merrill, Hawke went into her tent without saying goodnight. It was warm and she stripped down to her smallclothes. She dropped onto her bedroll and stared up at the canvas of her tent. Now that she was alone, she allowed her mind to wander and Anders face swam before her eyes again.
She felt the tears leak out of her eyes and she wiped them away impatiently. She heard the rustling of trees and the flap of her tent opened. Hawke looked down and smiled weakly as Isabela stepped into her tent. Her friend smiled back and stepped out of her boots before sliding onto the bedroll next to Hawke. She slipped her arm around her waist and pulled her against her.
Hawke let out a shaky breath and rested her forehead against Isabela’s.
“You okay, love?” she asked.
Hawke gave her a pointed look.
“You okay…ish?”
Hawke smirked as Isabela gently ran her fingers across her exposed stomach. “I’m…I’m…an idiot,” she admitted.
“Hawke,” Isabela said, sitting up and leaning over her. “I have met a lot of idiots in my time…A LOT. You are not an idiot! He is the idiot! You should have killed him! If I didn’t care about your feelings I would have killed him myself!”
“I…I wanted to,” Hawke said. “I wanted so badly to kill him. But I couldn’t. Isabela, I still love him and it makes me sick!”
Isabela frowned and pulled Hawke into a tight embrace, stroking her hair as Hawke cried softly into her neck. They stayed that way for a few moments before Isabela pulled away and smoothed Hawke’s hair back, away from her face. She leaned down and softly pressed her lips against her friend’s. Hawke let out a shaky breath before kissing her back. They hadn’t done such a thing in so long, but it felt comfortable and familiar. They had spent many nights together before her feelings for Fenris had taken over.
After their encounter had ended with him leaving, Isabela had been there to comfort her.
When Hawke fell for Anders, she and Isabela had once again stopped.
As Isabela’s hand traveled down Hawke’s stomach and slipped into her smallclothes. Hawke took in a sharp breath as Isabela’s talented fingers slid through her delicate folds. Her mouth moved across Hawke’s effortlessly and her tongue slipped into her mouth. Hawke relaxed back and allowed Isabela’s talented fingers to stroke her lovingly. She slipped her hand into Isabela’s tunic and sought out her full, warm breast.
Her thumb slid across Isabela’s nipple sensually until it was a hard nub.
Isabela sighed contently and trailed her lips across Hawke’s cheek and to her neck. She found the spot that made Hawke quiver as she slid her finger inside her squirming companion. Hawke let out a soft moan and bit her lip as Isabela gently fingered her. Her thumb began circling Hawke’s clit, causing her to buck against her hand. Isabela gently sucked on Hawke’s neck, adding a second finger.
Hawke lost herself in the sensation, massaging and squeezing Isabela’s breast as she felt her climax building. Isabela knew it was coming and sped up her movements and didn’t stop until she felt Hawke spasm against her.
They lay there for a few moments. Isabela gently removed her fingers and kissed the side of Hawke’s neck as she pulled away to look down at her.
“Feel better?” she asked with a smirk.
The corners of Hawke’s mouth curled and she removed her hand from Isabela’s tunic. The tan woman scowled at the loss of contact.
“Love, I don’t like seeing you like this,” she said, resting her cheek against Hawke’s chest. “You are the strong one. I’m the one who supposed to break down and cut off my emotions.”
“I don’t trust my emotions right now, Isabela,” she said. “Look how well they helped me in the past.” She had been too blinded by love to pay attention to the warning signs that something was wrong. She had been too hopeful when Anders had told her there was a potion she could help him with to get rid of Justice. If she had actually stopped to think, she would have realized that the potion idea had been way too simple.
“Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself!” Isabela said impatiently, sitting up. “You are a tough bitch, Hawke. This mopey, self pitying person I see right now is scaring me.”
Even though the words were meant to comfort, they didn’t. “Well forgive me for actually caring about someone and being sad that I was betrayed,” Hawke snapped. “We all can’t be as loose and unattached with men as
you are.”
Isabela’s eyes narrowed dangerously and she pulled away. “Fine,” she said, scooping up her boots. “I’ll leave you alone, since I’m so
unattached.” She marched out of the tent and Hawke felt the familiar relaxation that followed an orgasm instantly disappear. She knew Isabela had just been trying to help her, but she didn’t feel better anymore. She turned onto her side and curled into a ball. Her heart felt like it was going to break out of her chest.
She once again heard rustling outside her tent, and a meek voice. “Hawke, are you awake?” Merrill asked.
“Yeah, Merrill,” Hawke mumbled.
Merrill slipped into the tent. “I’m sorry to disturb you,” she said. “But I wanted to know how you were feeling. They told me not to ask you, but I’m really worried and curious.”
Hawke smiled at her. “I’m…I’m good, Merrill,” she said.
“You seem sad,” the elf commented, sitting cross-legged by the tent flap. “It’s not your fault.”
Hawke really didn’t want to hear it. It was her fault. They had all looked to her to make decisions and to make the right ones. She had let them down. She had gotten too used to making the decisions; she didn’t even stop to think about her actions and what they would lead too.
“Hawke,” Merrill’s voice pulled her out of her musings. “I know that look. It is not your fault. I know whatever I say won’t make you believe that. But I had to say it anyways.”
“Thanks, Merrill,” Hawke said.
“Do you want me to leave? Or wait until you fall asleep?” Merrill asked.
Hawke smiled at her. “I wouldn’t mind you sitting with me for a bit,” she said. Merrill smiled back.
“Would you like me to sing to you?” Merrill asked.
“You sing?” Hawke asked.
“A bit,” Merrill said. “Only old Dalish songs.”
“I’d like to hear them,” Hawke said.
Merrill smiled, cleared her throat and softly began singing. Hawke closed her eyes and listened to the eluvian words. She didn’t understand most of them, but the tune and the lull of Merrill’s voice helped her fall into a dreamless sleep.
--- A/N: Please review!
