Last memory of Bacelorhood

Oooh...creepy title. But it's pretty much right. The consequences of my mind being away at 3 in the morning. I think I remember writing this that late. But anyways, we have a little dancing, a little hugging and a little kissing, so you have been warned. laughs Just please don't blame me if this ruins your images of Seph and Ansem forever. runs in fear of rabid fangirls


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Kingdom Hearts crew or the places. Those belong to Square Enix and Disney.


Last Memory of Bachelorhood--Part Two--The Consequences
“Oh, crap!” Leon grabbed Cloud’s arm. “Just don’t, DON”T, look behind you. Cid! Get your ass in there!”
Cid blanched. “Why me?” he asked pointing ast Cloud and staring at Leon and Ansem.
“Because you have experience with these things!” Ansme yelled shoving Cid behind Cloud.
“Well, not with THAT!” the pilot shouted back.
Finally Cloud couldn’t take it. He slipped out of Leon’s grip and turned around. “Oh…no…”
Sephiroth had apparently been true to his word because he was dancing to Riku’s music. Yeah, that was fine, but “He’s dancing on the table! Shirtless!” Cloud smacked his forhead and ran forward ahead of Cid and Ansem. The two stopped fighting to watch Cloud trying to pull the drunken man off of the table. “Get off of there, you big idiot!”
Unfortunately, Sephiroth was stronger and all the other managed to do was get his attention. “Oh, hey Cloud! You wanna dance too?” He grinned widely and pulled Cloud onto the table.
“No! You big oaf! Let go and get do—“ He was cut off by Sephiroth’s arms wrapping him up in a huge hug. “Get him offa me!” he coughed out.
Ansem, Cid, Leon, and Riku stared at the pair. “So, how do you stopm a drunk guy who tried to destroy his own planet?” Riku asked timidly.
“Uh, persuade him with more alcohol?” Cid held up another can. Ansem wondered for a moment where Cid kept getting the beers but grabbed it instead.
He leaned over the edge of the table and held the can toward Sephiroth who was now sitting with a desparate Cloud in his arms. “Um…here Seph! You want another one? Hmm? Come on!”
The others watched with hope as Sephiroth stopped smelling the back of Cloud’s head and looked at the beer. “Hmm?” His turquoise eyes flicked between the can and Cloud. “Nope! I just want my Cloudy!” he claimed and squeezed Cloud tighter.
Cloud managed to get a hand free and pushe one of Sephiroth’s arms down. “help me already!” he yelled.
“This is getting pathetic,”groaned Ansem. “Riku, you have any other—Riku? Hey, where’d he go?”
Cid pointed toward the door. “That way.”
“Okay, how about—“
“Hey guys!” Riku said as he popped up in the middle of the group. He looked behind him at Leon who was sitting on the floor. “What’re you doing down there?”
“You scared the crap outta me, that’s what!”
“All right, all right,” Ansem said as he helped the other man up. “Where’d you go?”
Riku held out a bag. “Seph’s room. I just got to wondering how many he’d had before he got to Cloud.”
“And?” Cid seemed slightly fidgety and glanced bak at the struggling Cloud. “I’m really getting worried about him. Seph seems a little friendly.”
I found around five cans. Add one in his back pocket, which has gotta be painful by the way, and what? Three here and he’s a goner.” Riku glared at Cid. “And you gave him two before he left the room.”
“Uh, heh, well, how was I supposed to know? He never said anything.” He shied away from Ansem’s clenched fists. “So back to the problem?”
Riku looked back. “Stll haven’t gotten him free?”
“Do I look free to you!”
“Thank you Cloud!” Cid yelled back. “So any ideas? The beer didn’t work and what the hell is this music?” He glared at Riku.
Riku held up his hands in defense. “Hey, I found them in Ansem’s room but I don’t think Ansem listens to this.” He was referring to the romance themes pouring out of the CD player. “All I know is that it was a mix.”
“I think they’re actually Seph’s,” Ansem said glancing at Sephiroth who was now playing with Cloud’s hair single-handedly. “He just left them in my room.”
“Yeah, moving on,” Cid said loudly. “Can we save Cloud before we have to explain to Aerith why he never made it past this room?”
“already ahead of ya!” Riku yelled. He and Leon were sneaking up behind Sephiroth. The older man counted down silently from 3 to 1 and they both grabbed ahold of the white-haired man. Riku grabbed Sephiroth’s neck and Leon was holding Sephiroth’s wrists, both shouting at Cloud to get loose. Finally he scrambled off the table and stood panting by the others.
“Hey! No fair!” Sephiroth yelled as the two behind him leapt to safety. Unfortunately Riku was a little slow and his chin hit the floor as Sephiroth yanked his feet out from under hi.
Cid started over to help Riku when he kicked loose and joined them. “Geez! How’d he get so strong? No wonder you couldn’t get loose.”
“Yeah,” Cloud said as he brushed his hair out of his face. “I figured I was stuck there until he passed out! Which should be soon, hmm Cid?” He raised an eyebrow at the blonde man.
“Well, he’s very good at holding it?” Cid grinned sheepishly. “Besides, I’m sure a few more will get him.”
“Screw that!” Riku said glancing back at Sephiroth. It seemed he was back in the dancing mood. “Can’t we just hit him over the head with a hammer or something? Huh?” He turned toward a knocking sound at the door.
“Uh, Leon?” called Ansem from the door.
“Ah! Connections,” Leon said wisely before he hurried to the door. “Hey Riku, toss Seph his shirt back, will you?”
“Me?” Riku gulped and carefully aimed the shirt toward the drunken man. It hit him squarely in the back but Sephiroth let it fall to the table.
Cloud looked back at Leon and Ansem by the door. “Connections? What the hell’d he mean?”
Cid grinned. “Like Ansem said, she better be good.”
Cloud finally got the idea. “You didn’t—you got a freaking stripper!”
“Well, he thought you’d enjoy it!” Riku said in his defense.
Cloud was about to punch the two beside him when Ansem, Leon and a girl walked up. “Kinda small party, isn’t it?” She asked slowly. “No offense, I just noticed.”
Riku gave a nervous laugh. “Well, ah, not many people to invite and all.”
The girl looked at him closely. “Aren’t you kinda young?”
“Ah, heh, no,” he said in a squeaky voice.
“Yeah, well, I think your friend over there got started a little early,” she smiled and nodded toward the drunken, dancing and now singing (badly off-key, mind you) Sephiroth.
“Oh,” Ansem shook his head and they all looked away from the man. “That’s just Seph. Ignore him.”
“Uh, sure. But I must say, not a bad body—Oh, hello. Don’t think that was supposed to happen.” She turned toward the others again.
“What…oh my god!” Cid quickly clapped his hands over Cloud’s and Riku’s faces, keeping them from seeing what had happened. “Ansem! I think we need help!” He kicked at Ansem who was staring wide mouthed at Sephiroth.
Leon was about as stunned. “Is—is that a thong!”
“What!” Cloud ripped Cid’s hand away and instantly regretted it.
Ansem finally got enough air to speak. “Yeah…yeah, that’s what it…is.” ‘And why do they look familiar? Oh my god…they’re…’ he thought in horror.
“Those aren’t his!” Cloud shouted, his own hand covering his eyes.
“Well, looks like there’s an ‘a’ on the front. What could that mean?”
Cid took a breath and looked at Ansem. “Yeah, what COULD that mean, Ansem?”
“Ah…um…” Ansem’s face turned a bright scarlet and he turned away quickly. “Laundry mistake?”
Riku had freed himself from Cid also. Wait. Does that mean YOU wear—“
“That’s enough!” Cloud roared. Everyone but Sephiroth looked at him in shock. “We need to get him down from there. NOW!” He turned on his heel and stormed toward Sephiroth.
“Ah, Cloud? You sure that’s a good idea seeing what happened last time?” Cid jogged up beside him with a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah, well I’m willing to risk it. We need to stop this! Leon, you brought the girl, so pay her and get her out of here. Cid, Ansem? I’m gonna need help. Riku? You just stand there and…uh…watch the door.” He started toward the table again where Sephiroth was now sitting cross-legged, watching them with a goofy smile on his face.
Leon shook his head and pulled out a bunch of bills. He counted out $300 and handed it to the girl, sighing. “Sorry about that.”
“What’re you talking about? I don’t get paid to see a show very ofter.” She left with a big smile.
Riku watched as Cloud advanced on Sephiroth. “Okay, now. Hey, Seph. You know who I am right?”
Sephiroth blinked his eyes and laughed. “’Course I know you!” Cloud seemed relieved until “You’re my Cloudy-Cloud!”
Cloud sighed. “Yeah. Now, Seph? You need to get down from there before you break a leg or something (to which Riku added ‘Not a bad idea!’). So, will you come with me? Huh, Seph?” He looked impatient but Sephiroth just smiled again.
“Hmm…sure I’ll go with you! You’re still my bestest bud, right? Right Clooouuud?” He grinned again, making Cloud groan.
“Ugh. Uh, yeah. Sure, Seph. Now will you just come here Seph?” He started to get on the table to reach Sephiroth, but it wasn’t needed. The white-haired man shot forward and wrapped his arms around Cloud once again dragging him to the center of the table.
Cloud gasped for air, but made the others stay back. “Cloooud! You know I love ya, right? Huh, Cloud? I’d never hurt you Cloud.” He snuggled Cloud closer so they were cheek to cheek.
“Uh, yeah, Seph, can you…let go? Please? You’re squashing me.” He tried to keep his voice calm, but then again, who never panicked when they were getting hugged by their former worst enemy turned best friend turned best man turned drunk?
Sephiroth thought about that for a minute. “Sure Cloud. Anything for you. But you gotta give me a present first!” He gave Cloud another Sora-smile. “Okay?”
“Uh, can’t I give it to you later?” He turned his face away from that creepy smile.
Sephiroth’s face dropped into a pout. “No. You gotta give it to me now.” He seemed to be making even less sense that before and Cloud quickly counted up how many drinks they KNEW he’d had. About twenty-two, twenty-three, somewhere in there.
‘Any time now,’ thought Cloud hopefully. “Um, I guess you can have it now. What is it? Another beer?” He nodded and Cid came forward, two cans in his hands.
“No, silly!” Sephiroth rumpled Cloud’s hair and hugged him again.
“Okay…” Cloud was feeling desperate. “So, what is i—“
But Sephiroth never gave him a chance. He pulled Cloud in suddenly and landed a kiss right on the man’s lips. Cloud’s eyes widened as he tried to push away, but Sephiroth was still too strong. The others just watched in stunned silence until Cid managed to rush forward and pull Sephiroth’s head back.
Cloud coughed and gasped for air. He stared at Cid who was trying to keep Sephiroth from going back for more. Cloud glanced around and caught sight of Ansem next to him holding Cid’s two cans. He looked around again, then grabbed a can with his free hand. No one had ven noticed that he’d gulped it down until he reached for the second one.
“Cloud!” Cid yelled out. “What are you doing! Get out of there!” He finally let go of Sephiroth, allowing Cloud’s escape.
He stumbled off of the table and instantly reached for the second beer in Ansme’s hand
“Hey! What the—what’s your deal!” Ansem held the can just out of reach.
Cloud raised a shaking hand and pointed back at Sephiroth. Cid was walking past the table as the other man was laying down and talking to the ceiling. “After that, I need it! About the only way to forget that is to get smashed beyond recognition. So hand it over!” He reached again for the can.
Ansem looked around the small group. “Guess you have a point.” He handed the can to Cloud. “Have at it.”
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Hey, at least it's not a cliffhanger this time. smiles It just signifies the break before the last part which is what happened the morning after. Anyways, if you do happen to enjoy reading this thing, go on the the next part, I don't mind. But it's so sad that Cloud doesn't have mutual feelings. XP Oh well. Better luck next time.
Reviews always welcome! Just please no flaming. It was only meant as a huge joke.