Chaos and Entropy

Chapter 2…Another Stinking Sewer

What was a nice girl like me doing in a stinking hole like this? How often I find myself asking that very question! On the assumption that anything I wore in the sewer would be ruined, I’d bought a threadbare shirt and a baggy pair of breeches for a copper from one of the rag pickers that lurk behind the Copper Coronet. I looked (and smelled) like a beggar. I’d slunk out of my room at the crack of dawn so no one would see me.

My pals in the Shadow Thieves told me the Temple District had the best maintained sewers in the city. That’s where I began. I started kicking myself from the moment I dropped through the access door and landed in something gooey. Gods. I hoped this didn’t turn out to be another of my Really Stupid Ideas.

Sometimes I think I’ve spent half my life crawling through one rank sewer or another. Waste and filth are the inevitable products of human civilization, according to Jaheira. I think she’s right.

The tiefling Haer’Dalis had been kidnapped by a wizard and was being held underground in his…well obviously tower wasn’t the right word. Perhaps ‘dungeon’ would do. This Mekrath was, Raelis claimed, a crazed fan who had haunted their performances night after night and had finally made off with not only the tiefling but also the gem that he wore as part of his costume. The gem, Raelis said, was valuable in its own right and (for a tangled reason that I didn’t quite follow) must be returned soon or the troupe would suffer some great terrible disaster. Perhaps it had been borrowed from a patron or some such thing. At any rate, Raelis offered me one thousand gold pieces for the return of both the actor and the gem.

I got the impression that the gem was the higher priority.

I also got the impression that I should have asked to see the money up front. If I got stiffed by a bunch of actors, I was going to feel like a pretty big fool. Which was another reason I was down here alone. It’s bad to know you’ve been had; it’s worse to have your friends point that fact out to you, morning, noon, and night.

“Are you sure this wizard really has him?” I had asked. It’d be embarrassing to confront the guy and later find out Haer’Dalis was shacked up across town with one of his many admirers. More diffidently, I added, “For that matter, are you sure he’s still alive?”

“Mekrath makes no secret that he holds my dear sparrow caged,” Raelis said. (Yes, she really talked that way.) “I sent my employee Biff to speak with him, to no avail.”

“Biff?”

“The understudy.” She beckoned to one of her players. It was the hangdog fellow who had made such a muff of Rodrigo’s lines. “Tell our young savior here of what transpired in Mekrath’s abode.”

Young savior? Yikes. Biff colored and stammered out his story. Apparently he knew a fellow who knew a fellow who knew his way around the sewers pretty well. So he had hired this Roger the Fence to guide him to Mekrath’s lair.

Roger the Fence? Now there was a name to inspire confidence.

“He led me to the wizard’s home but once we got there, he made me turn out my pockets and took me for every copper I had!” Biff said indignantly. “And then he left me there! After I talked to the wizard, I had to find my own way out. Let me tell you, there are some nasty goons in the sewers. There’s this gang that charges a toll and when they found out I didn’t have any money…” His voice trailed off and he colored again. “They are very bad men, Miss Raelis! They did—very bad things to me.”

“Yes, yes,” Raelis said. “All great artists must suffer for their art. One day you will be grateful—but I digress. Please, Biff, tell Minette here about our sparrow.”

“Haer’Dalis was there all right. I saw him. He was in some kind of trance or something. Mekrath said he was going to keep him for a pet. Said he liked his singing. When I told him to give Haer’Dalis back, he laughed at me! And when I told him he’d better do what I said or he was going to get in trouble, he…he took his staff and he threatened me! And he said if I ever came back, he’d thrash me. And I believe him! I’m not going back there, Miss Raelis. You don’t know what he’s like. It was terrible!”

“Yes, yes,” she said soothingly and cast me a cool look. You see what I have to deal with, her eyes said.

“Did you ask the city guard for help?” I asked.

“Is it your experience that the city guards are helpful to transients?” she asked. “Not mine. I have traveled extensively and I have learned it is best to avoid the scrutiny of local authority.”

Well, I couldn’t disagree with that.

“But if this is some rogue wizard—this city hates spell-casters, you know. Surely…”

“As far as Athkatla is concerned, Mekrath is no rogue,” she said drily. “He is licensed. He’s paid off the Cowled Wizards and the guards won’t touch him. No, we can expect no help from those in power. We are on our own.”

Her words struck a chord. I, too, had been held by a mad wizard in his underground keep. No one had come to rescue me. I’d had to fight my way out. When the Cowled Wizards whisked both the wizard and Imoen away, the guards stood by and watched. And since I could not afford a license, the Cowled Wizards wouldn’t even speak to me. I, too, was on my own.

So I set off to save the actor. And if, in the back of my mind, the prospect of looting the dungeon of a rich licensed wizard was a bigger motivation than recovering some unknown tiefling and earning Raelis’s possibly fictional thousand gold pieces, well, I’ve never claimed to be a savior.

It didn’t take me long to find Roger the Fence. He’s a bit strange, I’d been told when I asked my fellow Shadow Thieves about him. Lives down in the sewers and hardly ever comes out. He had made himself a home where one of the old culverts had collapsed to form a shallow cave. This spot was close to the surface and the storm grates set along the road above us let in light. Eerie echoes from the wagons passing overhead rolled like thunder. Sometimes you could hear voices, distorted and disembodied like calls from another world.

I ghosted through the sewers as quiet as a little mouse in my soft soled boots. Thank the gods there hadn’t been much rain lately. Walking through a dank sewer was bad but wading through one was much, much worse.

Roger’s hideout was easy to find. All I had to do was follow the thieves’ marks scratched into the walls. What they hadn’t told me was how young he was. He fell somewhere between a lanky fourteen and a callow, pimpled twenty. I’d put my coin on the lower end of the range.

I found Roger bent down over a fire, stirring a kettle. He looked up and saw me, gasped and leapt to his feet, fumbling for his blade. Maybe I should have shuffled my feet or cleared my throat. I stepped backwards and held out my empty hands. When I made one of the guild signals, he took his hand off the hilt of his dagger and gave me a tentative smile.

“Something I can do for you, Miss?” he asked. “Come to look at my potions? You won’t find better prices anywhere.”

“Maybe but first I was wondering if you could tell me how to find the wizard Mekrath.” His smile wavered. “You know him, right?”

“Aye, I know him. Makes me potions, he does. What business do you…say. It’s nothing to do with that bonehead who was in here the other day, huh?” His smile was now gone. “Right mad Mekrath was about that. Don’t need no wizard mad at me, now, do I? Got enough troubles down here without that.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I said, opening my eyes wide and guileless. “I’m not here to cause trouble. I just want to meet the wizard.”

“Why?”

It’s hard to smile when you’re gritting your teeth. Why was I having to justify myself to this dirty sewer boy? Because I didn’t want to spend any longer searching these damned sewers than I had to. Instead of snarling, I smiled wider.

“Well, I’m something of a mage myself. But I’m new in town. The way those Cowled Wizards are, I can’t find anyone to help me with my studies or even sell me the supplies I need. I wish to talk to Mekrath and see if we can work something out.”

“You’re a mage? Here now, I was taking you for a thief, I was.” There was a hint of suspicion in his glassy gaze.

“Can’t a girl be both?” He gave me a closer look, his eyes actually making it all the way up to my face this time.

“Say now. I’m thinking I’ve heard about you. You’re that new one, the one who offed Mae’Var and took over his hall. Right? What’s your name?”

“Minette.”

“Minette, yeah, that sounds about right. You might not think I hear things down here. You’d be surprised. You’re that Minette Bhaalspawn everyone’s yakking about.”

“My name is not ‘Bhaalspawn’.”

“Hey now, hey now, no need for frost. Don’t get miffed. Don’t mean nothing by it, do I? I don’t care nothing about that old Time of Troubles stuff.” He sidled a step closer. “Hear you dropped a great big fireball on old Mae’Var, fried him good.”

“No, I’m the one with the invisibility spell who snuck up behind him and cut his throat. He was already dead before the fireball hit.”

The fireball was Edwin Odesseiron’s contribution. Damned showoff. Edwin hadn’t bothered to follow the plan or check I was clear before casting, which was why he wasn’t traveling with me anymore. I’d had to paint on my eyebrows for a month after that little fiasco. If my spell protections hadn’t held, I’d have been painting on my whole face.

“Yeah? Well, good on you. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. And speaking of invisibility potions, I can make you a real good deal on the best potions you’ve ever seen. Or not seen, if you catch my drift. Heh heh. No shimmering, no back images or shadows to give you away. Guaranteed or your money back.”

I wondered just how many people, after a critical failure of an invisibility potion, would be in any condition to demand a refund.

“So this Mekrath does good work, does he?”

“The best.”

“And he’s hiding in the sewers because…” I let my eyebrows (now all nicely grown out) rise in a friendly question. But since Roger’s eyes had been more or less centered on my breasts, I’m not sure he noticed.

“Oh, he ain’t hiding down here. He likes it. He’s opened up some of the ancient ruins under the city. He’s not in that old buried temple where the nutcases who plucked their own eyes out live, but he’s near it. Got things fixed up all nice and cozy. He came down here so he can work without being pestered by the Cowls or by people wanting potions and enchantments. That’s why I handle some of his business for him, you see, since alchemy is just sort of a side line for him.”

“What’s his main line then?”

“His main line? Well, I don’t rightly know, now do I? I’m guessing it’s something to do with creatures from the planes and summoning and all. Reckon that’s why he had that demon fellow come to visit, the one that bonehead was looking for. Mekrath don’t have visitors all that often—not to stay, that is. Though some of them stay overnight. Heh heh.”

He was staring at my tits so hard, I was beginning to wonder if he was trying to burn a hole through my shirt. He was fifteen all right. Sixteen tops.

“Got an eye for the ladies, does he?”

“The ladies, the gents—not sure it makes that much difference, from what I’ve seen. He’s an elf and they’ll fuck anything, you know. Heh heh.” Then he caught himself gossiping about his employer. Or maybe he noticed the points to my ears. “But I don’t rightly know what’s going on in there. That’s just my mouth running, see? Don’t pay me no mind.”

“This demon fellow—the tiefling that’s visiting—you’ve seen him? He’s living there?”
Roger was starting to look suspicious again. “If Mekrath already has an apprentice, I might be wasting my time looking for a position. You understand.”

“Well, this fellow ain’t no wizard, far as I can tell.” He snickered. I wasn’t sure what was so funny and it was fairly clear that he wasn’t going to illuminate me.

“Oh. Good. So maybe you’ll show me how to find him?”

“Don’t know about that. Mekrath got right testy after that dolt showed up. Got short with me and that’s a fact. Can’t afford to make him too mad, now, can I?”

Since he found my breasts so engrossing, I threw back my shoulders a bit so he could get a better look. He gulped.

“Won’t you help out a fellow guild member?” I tried not to overdo the wheedling tone. I hate that.

“Here’s the thing, see, my dues ain’t paid up so I’m not really in the guild anymore. Fact is, that’s one of the reasons I’m down here. Some of the guild masters, like that pervert Mae’Var, get right nasty when you owe them coin.”

“I’m not like him.” I took a step forward. He was supposed to be looking at the sincerity in my eyes, not the little sway in my breasts, but whatever. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn such a thin shirt. “If you do me this little favor, maybe I can fix things with the guild.”

“Well…”

“Aw, come on, Roger.” I moved in a little closer.

“Okay, then. Guess Mekrath won’t get too steamed if a pretty lady drops by.” And he gave me directions that I was fairly certain I’d be able to remember. “But listen,” he said, once he’d finished scratching diagrams in the mud. “There’s a couple of places down here where you gotta watch yourself. Goblins and carrion crawlers run wild in the lower reaches here and here sometimes.” He pointed with his toe at his sketch.

“I can handle goblins and carrion crawlers.” But I shuddered just a bit. Goblins are annoying but I hate those putrid crawlers with a passion. I still had a scar on my calf from one I’d run across in the sewers of Baldur’s Gate.

“Yeah, well I expect you can. They’re not that bad, really. The crawlers get plenty to eat down here so they’re fat and lazy. But there’s worse, see. There’s Draug Fea’s gang you gotta look out for.”

“Who’s Draug Fea?”

“He’s a tough old dwarf that moved down here last year. He killed somebody up top, a guard maybe. I don’t know. He’s hanging around down here until it all blows over. He’s going to charge you a toll for going through his part of the sewers. That’s about here to here, see? Right close to Mekrath’s place. If you’re smart, you’ll pay up.”

I frowned. Did I look like I wanted to hand my hard-earned coin over to some smelly sewer squatter?

“And if I’m not smart?”

“You can try to sneak around him, I guess. But you’re taking a big chance. He knows these sewers, see? You don’t. If he catches you, he’ll be pissed. And he’s got some tough friends.”

I had some tough friends too. They just didn’t happen to be with me at the moment.

“Maybe I’d better get a couple of your invisibility potions, just in case.”

Roger’s face lit up. When he told me how much he wanted for them, I yelped.

“It’s a fair price,” he protested.

“Not if I can’t afford it, it’s not.” I did have an invisibility spell memorized but I wanted to save it for getting Haer’Dalis out of the sewers. I assumed an actor knew a whole lot more about drawing attention than avoiding it.

I opened my eyes wide and gave Roger a hopeful look. “You’re my guild brother, right? Can’t you help me out?”

He stared at me a long moment and I could almost see the gears and cogs turning and meshing in his skull.

“I’ll give you a potion,” he said on an inhale, “If you’ll mumble mumble mumble.”

“If I’ll—what?”

“I’ll give you a potion if you’ll…” He took a shaky breath and let his words out in a rush. “If you’ll showmeyourtits.”

“What?!” Hells, I should have seen this one coming. “Are you serious?”

He bobbed his head. Sharess save me from over-sexed teens. That settled one question at least; he was fifteen. Any older and he would have asked for a blow job.

I could have tried intimidation. The problem is I just don’t have the size or the presence to pull off a good intimidation. Being little and cute has its advantages but frankly I find it easier to kill someone than to scare them. And I’ve already seen what happens when you decide to kill everyone who opposes you. That was the way of my brother Sarevok. For one of my unique heritage, murder is a path that beckons and glows.

I’d play a thousand stupid games before I took that path.

“Let me see the potion first.”

Roger shuffled over to a cabinet, casting me a couple of sideways looks as he did so, and pulled out a vial. I held out my hand. Instead of letting me hold it, he turned the narrow bottle so I could read the label. Untrusting little toad—actually, that made me think a little better of him. ‘Invisibility’ was written in tiny, precise letters. The liquid inside was reassuringly murky. If this wasn’t genuine, I’d send a couple of the guild’s bruisers down with clubs and attitudes. I’d have them collect his back dues out of his hide.

My cheap laborer’s shirt tied down the front. It probably would have been quicker to yank it up and give him a flash but I hate to cheap out on a deal. So I loosened the ties and slowly pulled my shirt open until my breasts spilled out.

Roger stared and stared. I wanted to tell him to blink before his eyeballs dried out. Finally he let out a long shuddering sigh. I think it was happiness.

“I didn’t realize elf girls were so…so…so big.”

And I’d forgotten human boys were so stupid. I wasn’t that amazingly busty anyway; I have a small frame.

“I’m half-elven.” Fool, if he’d looked at anything but my tits he could have figured that out. “Half human. Makes a difference.”

“Yeah. Um. Could you…?” And he made a gesture. “You know.”

“I don’t.” I scowled but he didn’t get the hint.

“Could you, um, jiggle ‘em? Please?”

Sune and Sharess, you owe me one. I sighed. I held out my hand for the potion, which he fumbled and almost dropped. Once it was safe in my pants pocket, I rolled my eyes (unnoticed) and then rolled my shoulders.

“Ah…” He blinked several times. Finally. “Thank you.” He leaned toward me and I saw his hand twitch. “Could I…”

“No!”

What could be more fun than being pawed by a horny pimply teenager? Gouging out my eyes like those weird religious fanatics you saw preaching on every corner? Sheesh. I yanked the ties and closed up my shirt.