Shattered Peppermint

Shattered Peppermint
Part 2 of 2: The (tentative) Solution

I close the door behind me, casting the room in darkness. Heavy curtains blot out the twilight, and I don't bother switching on any lights. Normally I would light a candle or two -- just a little illumination, just a little reassurance, a little reminder -- but not tonight.

Tonight the darkness is my solace once more.

I can't deny it. I never could. There's just something comforting about the velvety embrace of night, something undeniably secure. I feel so out of place in the sunlight, even if I want it so badly...but I can live with this in-between state, if it allows me to stay close to you. I wanted to try to pretend as if nothing's changed, but...I can see now how impossible that is. And I'm beginning to realize...I can never make you happy. Not now.

Maybe if I had never given into the darkness, I could've. But I'm so tainted, I can't even stand the thought of you touching me. You're so perfect, so pure...and that was what I always envied most about you. And what I love about you.

I sigh, sinking down into a heavily shadowed corner of my bedroom, sitting on the floor. I know I never told you this, Sora, but...sometimes I wake up and...when I look in the mirror, I still see flecks of amber staining my aquamarine irises so persistently. And I can still feel him twisting inside me, churning, mocking, possessing. I don't know if he's really there or if it's just some remnant enhanced by my own mind and paranoia, but...

It's okay, though, you don't have to be afraid. I realize now that I can't keep backing down, I have to take this chance to prove my strength and regain even a little of my old self. I was weak before, but I'm stronger now. I will not give in again. You've given me the courage to fight and fight and fight if I must, and I will defeat this for the sake of our happiness. Yes...the hope -- the promise -- of that is enough to renew my vigor in this struggle.

I'm sorry it took me so long to realize I can't keep running.

My eyes narrow at the (relatively) unoffending darkness, an outward sign of my resolve. All I have to do is try to recall the confidence I had before meeting Ansem...I have to remember how that felt, and how much I could accomplish simply by believing in myself. I can beat this.

Strengthened by my determination, I stood up, deciding to switch on the lights. Before I can take more than a step, though, my bedroom door opens. I'm a little surprised, normally you knock before just--

"L-Leon?" I'm obviously shocked, but stiffen and try to ice over my initial reaction. Even in the dark, the man is unmistakable, but...what the hell was he doing barging into my room?

I expect to see you next to him, apologizing with a sheepish laugh, but you don't appear. Instead, Leon just steps into my bedroom, closing the door with a soft 'click' behind him. I'm hopelessly, utterly confused, and my defenses raise instantly. Even if he's your friend, Sora, I've never met him before tonight, and I can't trust him. You did always have that tendency of making friends too easily, sometimes to the point of being blind to their true colors.

"What are you doing here?" I demand, trying not to seem too rude even though it was my room he waltzed into unannounced. Maybe that was the custom back in his world or something, but still...

My eyes are well-adjusted to the blackness, so I catch a glimpse of the curve of Leon's lips. It's just a small gesture, but so predatorial...the familiarity of it causes my stomach to lurch sickly and my feet to take an unbidden step backwards, the action bringing my back to brush the thick folds of the room's dark curtains. I wasn't going to panic, I had to keep my calm...

"So you're Riku, are you?" Leon's voice is a soft purr as he decimates the space between us with a slow side. "Ansem's little toy, quivering and hesitant. No wonder he tired of you so quickly."

I froze, feeling the full force of the blow as if he had struck me physically and knocked the air from my chest.

"That's right, I know all about you," he continues, accompanied by another agonizing step closer. "Poor Sora! He has no idea of the filthy games you and Ansem played together, does he?"

Panic.

"N-no..." I murmur, horrified, and glance away, lifting a trembling hand to my mouth. I don't understand...why is this happening? Why can't I run, or fight?

Another step and Leon's right in front of me, but I still can't move or even look up. I can feel the heavy drapes pressing against my back and, beneath them, the large, solid window, causing my heart to beat even more quickly and my mind to race. My cheeks are burning, and Leon's closeness makes me want to curl up and die. Why is he telling me these things? Why did you bring him here, Sora? What does he know?

"What a pathetic weakling," the older male says, his hands moving to brace himself, the palms pressing against the curtain on either side of my head. "Ansem knew you'd only be good for one thing. And soon Sora will see that, too."

"That's not true!" I snarl back, suddenly enraged, and turn my narrowed, sea-green glare to meet the other's as my hands tighten into fists. But before I can defend myself, Leon shifts back just enough to land a vicious back-hand against the side of my face. I stumble at the force of the assault, and he doesn't give me the slightest chance of recovery before seizing the back of my shirt collar and slamming my chest down against the nearby desk. I growl out harsh threats, struggling roughly, but his strength far exceeds my own and my efforts are clearly futile.

"What a naughty boy," Leon purrs, one powerful hand keeping my chest pressed to the desk. He leans over to whisper in my ear, his groin purposely connecting with my backside and causing me to clench my eyes closed, sucking in a breath. "To contradict me. You'll have to be punished now."

Panic, stronger now, fuels my writhing struggle, alongside shame and fear. Why now? Why is this happening now, just when I've made my resolve to fight as hard as possible?

"Why such resistance?" I feel Leon's fingers even through my jeans, tracing the inside of my thigh and trailing upwards, making sure the touch reached me through the protective denim. I emit an accidental whimper and bite down hard on my bottom lip, my cheeks scarlet. "You can try to deny it, but everyone knows how you were turned on by Ansem defiling you."

"Nn-no..." I choke out, holding back tears of hopelessness and frustration. I'm stronger than this, I have to be...

"Already hard, aren't you? Very well -- this time you'll moan for me," Leon's voice drops to a whisper, sending horrible shivers of dread pulsating through my body, and the truth of his words sicken me with self-disgust. My pants are tightening, the heat collecting against my will in my loins. "Won't you, little whore?"

Bam!

Suddenly the bedroom door's kicked in and Leon releases me, causing me to sink to the floor next to the desk. A loud clash resounds, and I glance up to see Leon locking blades with you.

Even in the darkness, you seem to emit so much light...

I can't even describe the sense of relief and gratitude that washes over me, eroding my despair like an ocean wave against crumbling rocks. You came. You're fighting your friend...

Are you sure I'm worth it?

"What do you think you're doing!?" You growl angrily, breaking the weapon lock to aim another fast attack with your keyblade. The quarters are small and dark with many obstacles, so Leon resorts to barrel-rolling over the bed to get behind you, slashing out with his strange sword. You pivot, blocking expertly, and Leon laughs softly. Still dazed, I almost believe the chuckle is a figment of my disoriented mind -- it seems so unsuited to Leon.

"Just having a little fun," the older brunette replies, and I feel myself tense. "Not keen on sharing your boyfriend, Sora?"

"Get out," you demand. The evenness of your tone is even more threatening than your anger, and Leon obligingly backs towards the door. Then, at a safe distance, his sheaths his weapon with a smirk and turns to leave, slamming the door behind him.

"S-Sora..."

When Leon's steps completely fade from the house, your keyblade disappears and you sprint over, dropping to your knees in front of me. You immediately launch into a series of 'are you alright?' and 'what did he do?' and 'don't worry, I'm here now', taking my face in your hands and kissing me worriedly and reassuringly between the inquiries -- on forehead, on the nose, on the single tear I hadn't been unable to restrain. I can't help but to melt into you, feeling the amazing sense of comfort brought by your arms around me.

I may not deserve you, but I don't intend to let you go without a fight.

My hands clench the thin cloth of your baggy tanktop, and you pull back enough to connect our mouths in a deeper kiss, murmuring against my lips about how everything was fine now and how I'm yours and you wouldn't let anyone else have me and how you loved me so much, so very much.

I believe you.

And then I feel your touch, feathery-light, beneath my shirt at my side and my breath hitches softly at the contact. But you don't stop, you just pull me closer and deepen the kiss more, begging entrance. My lips part obediently, my tongue dancing against yours desperately and my grip on your shirt tightening. Taking this as encouragement, you push me down, and the next thing I know my back is against the carpeted floor and your body is straddling mine.

Panic flares instinctively, but your soft, gentle kiss conquers it, and I relax.

"Don't be afraid," you pause to murmur. "I love you, Riku. I would never hurt you."

"I know..." I respond softly, my cheeks still red, and shift in slight discomfort beneath you. Your ministrations aren't helping me fight back an erection any, and for some reason I feel so ashamed because of it. "I...trust you..."

I want you to be happy, Sora. I want to give you whatever you want.

By now moonlight is wafting in through a part in the drapes, and I catch a glimpse of your sad smile as you regard me. I'm sorry...I never meant to make you sad. It doesn't suit you, you should laugh instead...

Silently, you give me another kiss, and I can taste your love in it amongst the faint traces of the sugary lemonade you enjoy so much. I focus on that as your hand slips beneath my shirt, ignoring the way my muscles twitch beneath your touch and my breath hitches.

I'm not afraid of you, I'm not. In fact...what Leon had done and said...it brought my memories of Ansem very close to the surface, and that only makes me long so much more for your presence.

I wish I could tell you how important you are to me.

Your lips wander elsewhere, trailing along the junction of my neck and shoulder, nipping and sucking gently. The rapidity of my breathing only increases to soft pants and I close my eyes, my own hands settling somewhat tentatively at your hips.

You continue like this for a few moments, no doubt enjoying the soft whimpers you draw from my lips, but eventually you stop to pull off my shirt. My thoughts hazed, my erection throbbing, I don't even think to stop you. That is, until you gasp.

"Riku!" You exclaim softly, your fingers brushing my chest. I don't have to open my eyes to understand what warranted such a reaction. I know Ansem left me a lot of presents to remember him by, and the acquisition of each one is still vivid in my memory.

Countless scars weave and snake and slice across my toned flesh; some vicious, others subtle; some inflicted in wrath, others in lust, but all of them are foreign to your gaze, aren't they? Almost, anyway -- if you look closely, you can still pick out the one from falling out of the tree when gathering coconuts. You remember that, don't you?

"What...?" I murmur, still looking away. You sigh softly, but lean down and kiss my cheek.

"Nothing, my beautiful Riku."

Next thing I know, my hands are gripping your hips again as your mouth teases one of my nipples, then the other. Somewhere along the line you discarded your shirt, and I can tell how hard you are beneath those flimsy swimming trunks...and I take a moment to savor how much care you're taking with your movements and touches. Despite your obvious need, not a hint of eager impatience shows as you make absolute certain I'm comfortable and ready, and recognizing this helps ease my tension further. Your mouth trails downwards, leaving a slick path along my abdomen, and I sigh with hesitant pleasure, reminding myself that there's nothing wrong or unclean about enjoying your company this way. It's natural...

But then I hear the subtle clack of my pants unsnapping, and tense again. My first thought is to stop you, but you seem to expect this because you quickly pull my lower garments off without giving me a chance to protest.

"Sor--" I start, moving to sit up, but you push me back down insistently.

"Please," you beg softly. "Let me show you."

"But..."

You slip out of your own swimming shorts, then take my hand and brush it against your hard member.

"Is there anything wrong with this, Riku?" You ask, tilting your head in an adorable manner. I detect a soft blush and can't help but smile a little, noticing the way your vibrant cerulean eyes swirl with pleasure and desire. "Should I feel ashamed of this reaction?"

"N-no, of course not..."

"Then neither should you," you say, giving my exposed member a little stroke and causing me to gasp. "You're wonderful, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is just jealous."

Sora...

I relax again, feeling the emotion churn in my chest and stomach. How did I get so lucky, to have someone like you with me? You always believe in me, and you always remind me that...maybe I am worth something...

...Maybe I deserve to be happy, regardless of everything Ansem's taught me.

"Is it okay?" You ask, concerned, and I respond that it is, even though I don't know what you're referring to. Anything you want is okay, Sora.

You stroke my erection and I bite back a sound, my hips moving instinctively against your hand. The panic's almost completely receded by now...there's no Leon, no Ansem, no anyone or anything...

Just you.

I barely notice you shift to retrieve something, your hand grasping my manhood gently but firmly, starting to move. Spears of pleasure shoot through my body, not at all lessened by your apparent inexperience, and I can't stop the sound that emerges from my throat regardless of how I try. It's so different from what I'm used to, and I want to enjoy it. I'm going to stop associating intimacy with Ansem, Sora. From now on, it's all you. I don't know what kept me from pushing you away like I normally would, but I'm glad.
And then I feel something unexpected.

My mind almost doesn't comprehend it at first, enraptured by the throes of your ministrations against my erection, but I'm not so far gone as to be completely unaware. So I still elicit a surprised gasp when you press one of your skillful digits into my entrance, slick with some sort of oily substance. At first my body tightens and I clench my eyes closed, but you murmur something soothing, your manipulation of my member ceasing for the moment, and I force myself to relax. Somewhat tentatively, I turn my hesitant aqua eyes to meet your loving sapphire ones.

"Does it hurt?" You ask, worried. "Do you want me to stop?"

I pause, then shake my head a little. "No..."

I said I trusted you, didn't I? It's time for me to prove it...

"Riku...if I do something you don't like or makes you uncomfortable...you'll let me know, right?"

I give a little nod at this, and you still seems a uncertain but decide to continue. You slip the finger in and out a few times before carefully adding a second, the oil making the intrusion much easier. My breathing only picks up, but I find...it's not from fear or dread, but...

Anticipation. You'd never cause me pain, and so...I'll be able to feel the pleasure of intercourse without the suffering I'm so used to it bringing. It'll help me change, I realize. It's one more obstacle crossed, one more step in driving Ansem and his memory further back.

One very big step.

And also one more movement to pull you closer.

My body writhes in response to your actions, and I absently wonder how you know what to do as you carefully scissor your fingers to prepare me properly. Have you been practicing with someone, Sora? Or maybe you're not as naive as you seem.

A few years ago I'd never imagined we'd be together like this, and you'd be dominating me. Or that I'd want it so badly, but I can't really explain it, I can just feel this intense desperation for...for something I can't quite pinpoint, something I can't quite reach yet. But I'm getting closer, with your help.

You adjust my legs, casting me another inquisitive glance, and I feel you start pushing slowly into me. I close my eyes, calming myself, focusing on the image of you...and I do see you there, I see your blue eyes.

Blue eyes. Not gold.

This time it's you who give a soft groan, biting your lip and blushing as you tilt your head back. "R-Riku..." you gasp out, as if surprised, "I...I didn't think you'd feel so..."

"F-feel so...what?" I prompt, adjusting to your organ inside my body, and open my eyes to savor your image.

"S-so...amazing and...tight..."

My gut knots harshly, my first reaction to his words being a mixture of indignance and hurt. "Why not, Sora?" I reply bitterly, my eyes darkening in the moonlight. You thought because I've been through this before, I wouldn't really be worth your while? Then why are we even doing this?

"No, no!" You exclaim, your eyes flying open and your cheeks becoming a deep shade of red. "It's not like that, you know it isn't! I've just...I've never...done anything like this...I didn't really know...what it would be like..."

...I'm sorry. I should've known you didn't mean anything by it.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You haven't even done anything yet," I state, then sigh, and carefully change our positions without pulling off you. This time, you're pressed down on the carpet and my body is perched on your hips, every one of my movements causing you to twist and moan. You probably would've lasted longer if I had let you do it your way, but...I can't stand the thought of you treating me like some porcelain doll. I'm not that delicate.

And, after Ansem, nothing you can do physically will hurt me. No...your power over me is so much greater, so much more dangerous than Ansem's ever was. Do you even realize?

I begin to move my body, arching my back a little as I lift my hips up and bring them back down, burying you fast and deep. The volume and intensity of your groans increases, and I occasionally emit a soft sound of my own amongst the quick pants. Especially when I inadvertently cause your member to strike my prostate, sending a white-hot flash of pleasure riveting through my body. I feel you grab my own erection and I moan softly, not even noticing how horribly you tried timing your movements with mine.

"R-Riku--!" Your grip on my organ tightens painfully as you arc your body and release inside me. And...I can't describe what I feel now, but it's like all the chains Ansem's ever placed on me...they all snap at this moment. Like the pure, white evidence of your claim is washing away every contact he's ever had with my body, cleansing me of the lingering remains of his own seed.

You make me come a moment later, a sensual growl in my throat, and I spill across your tanned chest, panting heavily. For a moment nothing moves as we revel in the slowly ebbing pleasure, and I have to place my hands on your chest to keep from collapsing on top of you. Eventually, though, I pull my body off your flaccid organ and fall to the floor beside you.

"That was amazing..." you whisper, turning on your side to pull me against your chest. I settle there comfortably, resting my head on your torso and listening to the rapid beating of your wonderful heart. "You're amazing, Riku."

"Of course I am," I respond softly, at an attempt to be playful. That's what my old self would've said. And I'm starting to feel him poking me in the back of the head, chastising me for being such a fool. "-That- hasn't changed."

You laugh quietly, holding me in your protective embrace, and we fall into a comfortable, contented silence for a few long moments. Finally, I allow a soft sigh to escape my lips. "Sora?"

"Yeah?"

Lifting my head, I nuzzle your neck affectionately. "...I love you," I murmur, listening to the constant ebb and flow of the tide from the beach outside, hearing the ocean stretch forward towards our little shack then retreat back into the sea in an endless cycle. It’s another perfect night on the Destiny Islands, the sky a deep midnight and the moon playing hide-and-seek with the world as it dips behind the occasional cloud.

Warm, too. So warm.

Your arms around me tighten just a little, permitting me to sink into their blissful security and comfort.

"I know, Riku."

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A/N: Gah, done finally! You guys would not -believe- how long it takes me to write one little update. I write a sentence for one minute, then have to contemplate it for five. -.-

And whatever part of my brain decided to write in present-tense needs to be shot. I was constantly changing things because I instinctively write in past-tense, but...this chapter's tenses were much less awkward than the first. Eventually I'll go through the first chap again and correct errors. And I guess it's always good for a writer to use different styles and such.

Anyway! This is the first fic I've actually -completed- though tomorrow I'm going to whip up a quick epilogue to tie up the loose ends. I can't leave everyone with a bad impression of poor Leon, can I? Since it is the first thing I've completed, please let me know what you think. -heart-

-Bharune