Lost Heaven, Part One: Awakening

WARNINGS: naughty language…angst…SI…(yes, this story will contain self-injury)...

“I wish I had what it takes
I wish someone would give me a break
Why does everything have to be so complicated?

If everything would go my way
When the hurt inside would go away
I could not give my life again
But it never seems
Seems to end
No, it never seems to end…”

—“Never Seems to End” MxPx…

Chapter One:
Never Seems to End…

It fell from the sky. A brilliant mass of pure white light that spread across the entire city, flashing into every dark street corner and dilapidated apartment in the city. It was so perfect—so immaculate—that it could have only been something sent from Heaven…

But, like yesterday and the day before, I seemed to be the only one to notice it, this beautiful ball of innocence. The busy people who passed me on the street went on with their hectic days as if nothing had ever happened. They talked into their cell phones in quick hushed voices and cursed at me for standing in the middle of the side-walk and blocking their ways. I was nothing but an annoyance to them, but their words barely registered in my mind. I stood with a look of amazement on my face as my eyes watched the comet-like light streak across the sky.

In less than two minutes, it was gone. The light didn’t flicker or fade away; it just disappeared without a trace, like it had ever existed. Maybe it really didn’t exist. Those who passed me on the street never noticed or acknowledged the light… Maybe I was finally beginning to go crazy like everyone had predicted that I would. I couldn’t be sure, but somewhere in my gut I knew that the light was real. I wasn’t crazy.

Sighing, I tore my eyes from the sky and returned them to the sidewalk where they had started and restarted my walk home. I didn’t have to walk with my head up anymore to know when the comet was coming. It came on the same time everyday. I didn’t even need to check my watch for the time anymore. Almost as if it were on instinct, my head would lift and my eyes would watch the bright light dance across the sky before it disappeared.

The rest of my walk passed with no excitement. My feet led the way while I wandered through a different world, one that was far away from the planet Earth and all of its inhabitants. And when I slept at night, I dreamt of a world where I was free to do as I wished. A beautiful silver-haired angel was always there to keep me company, pain shining in their brilliant sea green eyes.

“I’m home,” I muttered as I walked through the front door.

My mother looked around the corner from the kitchen with a broad smile on her face. “Sora, honey! How was your day?” She walked out into the entryway of our home with her arms held before her and embraced me.

I didn’t make the effort to hug her back. I kept my arms limp at my sides and stared ahead at the wall as she squeezed me to her. She sensed my standoffishness and let me go, giving me a small half-hearted smile.

“Well. I hope that your day was good, sweetie. Supper’s on the stove so I’ll call you when it’s done, alright?”

“Sure.” I stepped out of my shoes and walked past her with the barest of glances as I made my way up the stair-case with my backpack thrown haphazardly over my shoulder.

I collapsed onto my bed the second I was alone in my bedroom and buried my face into my pillow, my thoughts circling around everything and nothing all at the same time.

I was beginning to grow tired with everyday life. Each day I was forced to wander the world was Hell. Each day I was forced to watch the people around me live in happiness was Hell. There was only one person who I could ever trust and he was increasingly harder and harder to find, spending almost every waking moment with his girlfriend.

Roxas was my best friend and had been since I could remember. It had always just been the two of us until Naminé had come along, not that I really minded blonde girl. It was just that I missed the private conversations Roxas and I used to have about everything that was happening around us. The only time we were ever alone anymore was on our walks to and from school. But I knew that Naminé wasn’t making Roxas spend every second with him. That was just the way that Roxas was: quiet, full of angst…and completely devoted to those he cared about the most.

I sighed and rolled onto my back so I could stare at the ceiling and breathe a little easier. Life was just too troublesome. There were many days when I thought about suicide as an escape from the things I constantly had to deal with, but I was too weak to go through with my plans. Sometime while I was gathering the balls to go through with it, there was always the smallest flicker of my mom’s smile and Roxas’ sad face when he found out what I had done. I couldn’t do it to them. It would be the epitome of unfairness, no matter how much pain I was in.

So, I went along with life and the things that were deemed necessary to throw at me, waiting until the moment when no one would care. When that time came—when I was finally alone—I would do what needed to be done and erase my existence from the world.

But, until that day came I was happy with the minor relief from my pain that I got by hurting myself. It had first happened as an accident, a skinned knee on the sidewalk after tripping over my own feet, but had quickly esca-lated to something more. As I’d watched the blood well up in the wound and spill over, I was filled with a sense of freedom that I had never felt before. It was empty, pure, numb…bliss… I couldn’t get enough of it. My secret addiction had almost spun out of control two months later, but I had somehow managed to regain the control be-fore I was found out. It had been a close call and I’d been careful with it ever since then. Nothing good would come out of being caught.

I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day and pushed myself up from my bed. I dug around in my closet for a clean pair of pajamas and grabbed my CD case from my desk on the way out the door. I debated on shouting to my mom that I was taking a shower but decided against it. She would hear the water running.

I closed myself in the bathroom and started a lukewarm shower. I dropped my clean clothes on the side of the sink and threw a towel from under the sink on top of the toilet. Before I shed my clothes, I unzipped my CDs and flipped the case open to the middle where I hid my blades, bandages, and antiseptic cream from prying eyes. I pulled a particularly sharp Exact-O knife from the plastic and set it on the edge of the bathtub. Only then did I pull off my clothes and climb into the tub.

The spray of water felt good against my tensed muscles. I sighed as I stuck my head beneath the water and washed my hair thoroughly. I washed the rest of myself quickly, making sure to get all those special places a mom listed off before their child took their first bath or shower alone. When I was finished, I slid down the back wall of the shower and quickly found my favorite spot. The water kept me warm and wet but it didn’t get in my eyes and blind me.

I rested the back of my head against the wall and let my eyes drift closed, my hand reaching out blindly to the side of the bathtub until it closed around the cold handle of the Exact-O knife. I pulled it into the shower and, without bothering to open my eyes, pressed the cool tip of the blade against the skin at the inside of my arm. With a deep outtake of air, I pressed down and drug it across my arm, the barest of hisses slipping past my lips.

The relief came almost immediately, stealing over my senses and leaving me in an almost incapacitated state. For the first time that day my breathing evened out and the muscles the water hadn’t worked on loosened. I was calm, but I wouldn’t say that I was collected.

My eyes opened and I watched the small stream of red tinged water as it ran down my arm and to the drain. It hadn’t been a very deep cut so the blood flow under the water didn’t last for very long. I wanted oh-so-badly to do it again, but I knew that there would be no turning back if I did it. One cut was never enough. I always wanted more. But I was so afraid of losing control after my last incident that I fought the urge to give into my masochistic addiction.

I turned the water off with my foot and sat in the bottom of the bathtub until I felt like an ice cube. I dried myself with the towel and pulled on my clean boxers, pajama pants, and T-shirt before drying the Exact-O knife and stuff-ing it back into my CD case. When I made sure that everything was decent I left the bathroom, flicking the light switch off when I left.

“Supper’s ready, Sora!” I heard my mom shout from the kitchen.

I groaned as I dropped my things off in my room, but went straight downstairs. Though I knew she really didn’t care for me, I had never been able to deny my mother anything since my father’s death three years before. Someone in this house deserved to have at least a shred of happiness, and it wasn’t me.

I trudged into the kitchen and took my place at the table, giving my mom a bare hint of a smile when she looked up at me. I took a long, deep drink from my glass of water before diving into my spaghetti. The way I saw it, the sooner this dinner was over, the better. That light was shining in Mom’s eyes again and I wanted to get away before it exploded.

o-o-o-o-o

I stared angrily at my reflection, the water I had splashed on my face dripping from my chin to splash across the faux marble countertop. My eyes were still slightly bloodshot from crying and my hair was still mused from falling asleep. I fingered the small cut on my right cheek with gentle fingers, using my eyes to take notice of every new bruise. I sighed when I was done counting. Thirteen. Well, it definitely hadn’t been her worst night.

As I had predicted she would, my mom lashed out at me when dinner was finished. She was at the sink and I was feeding our black Lab, Mister Bojangles, when a glass had smashed against the wall not six inches from my head. I jumped and turned just in time to have her hands clamp around my throat, but I didn’t flinch. I stared her straight in the eye, daring her to go further. She’d released her hands and slapped me so hard I fell over. The side of my face hit the corner of the kitchen counter, cutting me and sending me into a half unconscious state.

I don’t know what had happened after that, just that I’d woken a while later and somehow managed to make it back to my room. I’d collapsed on to my bed and cried myself to sleep.

Shaking my head to rid it of the memory, I splashed another handful of water on my face and patted it dry. I dug around in the drawer until I found my other stash of blades. I unzipped the small, faux leather manicure pouch and pulled out an industrial razor blade. I smiled at my fuzzy reflection on the blade before closing my eyes and taking it to my arm fifteen times; one for every bruise, two for every cut.

I quickly cleaned the wounds with cold water, not bothering to cover them with bandages, and replaced the blade in the pouch and shoved it back into its hiding spot at the back of the drawer. I cast one last glance back at my reflection before flicking off the light and leaving the bathroom in darkness and returning to my bedroom.

I was greeted Mister Bojangles, his tail wagging a hundred miles a minute like it always did. I smiled at him and patted his head gently as I closed and locked the door behind me, the only way to keep my mother away from me for just a little while.

I flopped backwards on to my bed, staring at the rays of light from passing cars that managed to sneak past my shades and pulled curtains. Bo jumped on to the bed and curled into a small ball at my side, taking up more than half of my bed with his size. The loud sound of the chorus to The Used’s “Blue and Yellow” violently pulled me out of my small moment of peace. I sighed and grabbed the phone from its place on my bedside table. I groaned when I checked the caller ID but answered anyway.

“What, Roxas?”

“Am I not allowed to call my best friend anymore?” His voice was like mine—dry and stoic—yet he had more going for him than I could ever dream.

I sighed and checked the clock. “Not at two-thirty in the morning, you’re not. I need my beauty sleep, remember?”

He laughed quietly. Yes, we were so alike it was scary. We had the same interests in everything, had the same personality, had the same birthday… Hell, we looked like twins for godssakes. There was only one difference between us and it was something only I could point out. His happiness was genuine. Mine was a façade, a wall built up to keep him and others from worrying about me or turning me into the school counselor.

“I was just worried,” he muttered. “You said that you’d call me when you got home but you never did.”

“I’m a big boy, Roxas. I can walk home from work by myself,” I said with a heavy sigh. “One day without you there to hold my hand wasn’t going to kill me.”

“Could you stop being an ass and take me seriously?” he growled. “Geez, Sora. You’re acting like I asked you to kill someone or something.”

“Could you stop being a mother hen and live a day without worrying about me?” I muttered.

He laughed. “When you prove to me that I don’t have to worry, that’s the day that I’ll stop.”

“I’m going back to sleep now. I’ll see you in the morning, and I’ll make sure to wait so you can hold my hand when we cross the street, Mommy.”

“Asshole,” I heard him growl before I snapped my phone closed and turned it off so he couldn’t call back. I had learned all of his tricks by now, as I was sure he had learned most of mine, and I wasn’t going to let him wake me up.

Sighing, I snuggled down into my blankets and closed my eyes, letting sleep overcome me and carry me off to the one place I felt I belonged.

o-o-o-o-o

Morning was the same old routine. I grumbled curses under my breath as I climbed out of bed five minutes after my alarm had woken me up and gathered some clean clothes so I could take a quick shower. I pulled my clothes on slowly when I was finished, not leaving the bathroom until I heard the front door close as my mom left for work. Then, I snuck back to my bedroom and dropped off my clothes, grabbing my backpack, before begrudgingly making my way downstairs.

I let Bo out the back door so he could play while I was at school, then grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and headed for the front door. Roxas would be here any minute. I slipped into my shoes and shrugged on my jacket just as he knocked on the door. I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair and pulled open the door.

Roxas stood there with a half-frown, half-smile on his face, like usual. His blonde hair was in messy spikes, though it would never be as spikey as mine, and his blue eyes were cold but soft, as they always were when he looked at me.

“G’Morning, Sunshine.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled the door closed behind me. He watched me in silence as I locked the door and kept his silence as we started our daily walk to school, but it didn’t last for long.

“Sorry I called you so late,” he muttered.

I shrugged. “Whatever. It’s cool. I wasn’t asleep anyway.”

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Did you sleep after I called? You don’t look too good.”

I shrugged again. “Off and on. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a while, you know that.”

“I never hurts to ask.”

I rolled my eyes and shoved my hands deep into my pockets, searching my mind for a change of topic. I seized the change when it came to me. “How’s Maho doing? I haven’t been over in a while.”

“She’s the same as always. Loud and obnoxious, but she’s been working a lot lately so I haven’t seen her much.”

“…and you’ve been spending your every waking moment with Naminé.” He glared at me and I smiled. “Tell me something. How did you convince her to give you the freedom to walk with me in the mornings and afternoons?”

“She doesn’t have control over what I do, Sora. Naminé’s not that kind of person. You should know that.”

I shrugged. “Sometimes it seems like she does.”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes and got serious. “Forget that. How have things been with you lately? Have you…you know…seen anything lately?”

I laughed. Another thing I couldn’t help but love about Roxas. Though the things that I saw and the things that tended to happen around me were completely unbelievable, he had found a place in his heart to not judge me because of it. He may not believe in what happened, but he never told me to shut up and let it go like everyone else had, either.

Among many other things, I had confided in Roxas about the comet I saw in the sky at twilight everyday on my way home from work. I swore that I saw something flash in his eyes when I had brought it up, but I never mentioned it to him, blaming the sight on a trick of the light or something instead. But he had never denied nor admitted that he’d seen the comet. It made me wonder sometimes.

“People around us die everyday, Roxas. Of course I’ve seen things.”

He rolled his eyes. “I meant out of the ordinary.”

“Nothing’s out of the ordinary for me anymore.” I sighed. “What’s it matter to you anyway? Are you bored and looking for some action? Don’t come to me if that’s the case ‘cause I won’t help you.”

“I was just wondering,” he grumbled under his breath.

I shook my head and released a deep sigh as we stepped onto school grounds. '3…2…1…'

“Roxas!” Seemingly out of nowhere, Naminé latched onto my friend’s arm and planted a kiss on his cheek.

He sighed and grumbled something under his breath, giving me a look of desperation. I shrugged and offered him a small smile in return to his glare as she dragged him away.

“See you in English, Sora!” he shouted, and then he was gone. And I was alone again.

I ran a hand back through my hair and wove my way through the crowd of people who were unloading from the school buses until I was inside. The hallways weren’t quite deserted but they were quieter than the world beyond the school walls where the kids gathered until the bell rang that forced them inside. Those who wandered the halls around me complained to one another about having to get up so early to go to school, as if it they would enjoy school more if they were able to go at a later time. I tried my hardest to ignore them.

I was the kind of person who didn’t like school, but didn’t hate it either. It aggravated me that I had to get up so early, but I would much rather be in school than home alone. When I was alone, I started to think, so I liked the constant bustle of school because it kept my mind busy. A constant distraction… And being able to spend time with Roxas was a plus. I never would have met him if it hadn’t been for school.

I sighed as I reached my locker and put in my combination. I pulled open the door and threw in my backpack, dropping my books into the bottom in any order. I was usually a more organized person but today I didn’t care. When the hall around me started to fill with loud people, I grabbed my books for the my first hour class and left. I may have liked the distraction, but I didn’t enjoy the noise one bit. It annoyed me… People annoyed me.

I was in a different world when I walked to class, my mind reeling around things that were more important than the world around me. Before I knew it, I was in my seat at the back of the classroom with my book open in front of me. No matter how many times it happened, things like that made me jump and set my heart racing. It was almost like I had had no control over the situation. I could have killed someone! Alright, overexaggeration, but it still scared me a bit.

“G’Morning, Sora!”

I mentally groaned at the sound of that voice. That oh-so-annoying voice that seemed to follow me everywhere. I put on my best fake smile and looked up.

“Hey, Kairi. Good morning.”

The redhead giggled and plopped down into the seat in front of me. She kept her smile on her lips and faced me.

“How was your night? Anything interesting happen?”

“All I did was work and you go to spend that joyous time with me.”

“Oh yeah!” she giggled.

I groaned. Yes, I go to school and work everyday with that. But that was an overexaggeration too. She usually wasn’t quite that bad. She was a girl. Girls giggled, smiled all the time, and pestered you to date them, even after you had kindly turned them down three times. Okay, maybe not all girls were like that, but this one was. Unfortunately, she had never told me where she worked before I got a job at the restaurant I had now worked at for two years.

Kairi really was a nice girl; too nice sometimes. But I had also had the joy of witnessing her angry side. Thankfully, I hadn’t been on the receiving end of that bout of anger because it had been ugly. She had made the poor guy break down and run away. To be honest, I had laughed at him and been the one to calm Kairi down. It had been quite comical.

The classroom around us gradually began to fill with students, shattering the semi-silence that had settled around me. They slouched down into their seats and pulled out their books before breaking into loud chatter.

“Have you seen the new seniors yet, Sora?”

I blinked and turned my attention back onto Kairi. “Hm…?”

“The new seniors. Have you seen them yet?”

“Uh-uh,” I said, shaking my head. “Should I have?”

She giggled quietly and a pretty pink blush bloomed across her cheeks. “I dunno. I just figured I would ask since it’s what everyone’s talking about. But you never pay attention to everyone else, do you?”

I shook my head. “They bore me.”

“Well these new kids seem rather interesting,” she said with a frown, turning in the Kairi I managed to like most of the time.

“If you think pretty and creepy is interesting…”

I looked to my right just as Hayner settled into his seat, Pence settling down into the desk in front of him. The blonde smirked at me and waved.

“Top of the mornin’ to ya, Sora.”

I rolled my eyes. “What do you mean by ‘pretty and creepy’? Are they really?”

He shrugged and slouched down in his chair. “They’re both pretty. One has long, spikey red hair and a catlike face. The other’s hair is silver and long and he looks like a girl. And the way that they carry themselves is just creepy. It’ll send a shiver down your spine when you see ‘em, trust me.”

Kairi made a small scoffing noise and pulled my attention back to her. “They’re not that creepy looking, Hayner. Overdramtic, much?”

He snorted. “Overbearing much?”

The girl growled under her breath and turned away from Hayner haughtily. I would say that the two hated each other, but I think there was something more to it. At least I hoped that there was something more to it, especially if it would get Kairi off my back for a while.

I laughed. “So you think they’re creepy because of their hair?” I laughed again. “Oookay. I guess it makes sense coming from someone with such plain hair as you, right?”

The blonde scowled at me and turned to face the board as the teacher came strolling into the classroom fifteen minutes late, as usual. The class came to a screeching quiet. It happened so fast that I could hear it ringing in my ears.

“Good morning, guys! Ready for another grand day at Twilight Town High?!”

Everyone around me groaned. I laughed and received several incredulous looks in the process. The teacher chuckled and clapped to draw the attention back onto him.

“At least I know that someone in here has a sense of humor.” He laughed and winked jokingly at me. “Anyway, if you all have your papers on the social myth you picked, please pass them forward so I can collect them. If not, then don’t give me excuses and bring it tomorrow for a dropped letter grade.”

I groaned as the rest of the class started to dig through their folders for their papers. I had completely forgotten about the assignment…again. Great. I was already failing the class. Kairi turned to me with her paper in her hand, holding her free one out for my paper.

“Forget about it,” I said with a small smile.

She frowned and shook her head, giving me her “We’ll talk about this later” look. I sighed when she turned back to face the front of the room. I didn’t want to sit through yet another speech from Kairi about how important it was for me to get through school with good grades so I could get into a good college when next year came around. I really didn’t care about it either way.

I sighed again and flipped open to the first clean page in my notebook as the teacher began to talk again. It wasn’t long before my concentration waned and I was doodling in the margins of the page. If I came up with a good enough excuse, Kairi would make me a copy of her notes on our way to lunch, anyway, so why pay attention?

I traced over my drawing for the third time. It was a face…the angel from my dreams with long silver hair and beautiful green eyes. The one person who understood and didn’t judge me because of the things I did and saw. I only wished they were real…

o-o-o-o-o

Lunch. For most kids in school, the sound of the bell ringing that set them free for that glorious half an hour was like hearing a hundred angels singing in Paradise. For those of you who haven’t learned it yet, I wasn’t like most kids in school. I hated lunch. I hated standing in the line for twenty of those thirty minutes of freedom. I hated being asked questions for five minutes after I finally got my food and sat down at the table. I hated having to shovel my food down in breakneck speed before the bell rang. I hated pushing my way through the crowd that rushed to the trash cans to dump their trays. I hated having to go back to class. I hated lunch…in high school, anyway.

But today, by some random miracle, Roxas and I had made it to the cafeteria before the rush came in. We were only in line for ten minutes before we got our food and settled down at our table, shoveling down our French fries bathed in ketchup and cheese pizza that tasted exactly the way that it looked, like a piece of cardboard with glue slathered across the top.

I was done before Roxas, like usual. I never had to eat much before I was full. I built a Lincoln Log-esque house out of my French fries while I waited for him to take that last bite of pizza and wash it down with a mouth full of Mountain Dew. He sighed when he was finished and wiped stray pizza sauce from the corners of his mouth with a napkin.

“How can you eat that shit?” I muttered, barely glancing at him out of the corner of my eye as I continued building my cabin.

He chuckled. “All I have to do is imagine that it’s a piece of Papa John’s pizza and it’s all good. But the aftertaste gives it away.” He licked the roof of his mouth and frowned in disgust, taking a long drink from his Mountain Dew.

I shook my head. “You’re insane, you know that, right?”

He shrugged and smiled. “You wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t. Normal people bore you, remember?”

“People in general bore me, you know that.”

He chuckled. “You’re a piece of work.”

I shrugged and continued building my house. It was going rather well and I was almost to the point of attempting a roof when someone rammed into the table and sent the fries spilling across the table. I growled and looked up to see who I was going to have to kill and immediately froze when our eyes made contact.

It was him…the angel from my dreams. He was here. He was…real. I shook my head and blinked a couple of times to clear my head, but no…he was still there. Long, shining silver hair and brilliant green eyes that were the color of the ocean. There was no denying the resemblance. But something was off. Something about this person was different than the kind person I saw in my dreams. Something in their eyes was different. They were colder, darker…meaner. His gaze made me shiver.

My dream friend’s doppelganger smirked and continued on his way past the table. I watched his back as he walked, my eyes slowly narrowing to slits as my anger increased. He sat down at a table with another guy with fire engine red hair. The redhead glanced in my direction and smirked before turning to the silver-haired guy and talking to him.

Hatred surged through my veins, and it scared me a little bit. I hated these two people and I didn’t even know their names? It wasn’t like me to be so irrational. Maybe he had just run into the table on accident. And it wasn’t like I had been building something important, really… But, no. Whether I was building a French fry cabin or scale model of the Eiffel Tower, he had run into the table on purpose. That smirk he’d given me was proof enough of that.

“Asshole,” I muttered under my breath.

“His name is Riku Himura, and the guy with him is Axel Himura. They’re in my English class.”

I blinked and turned my attention back to Roxas. “They’re…brothers?”

He shrugged and took a sip from his Mountain Dew. “Who knows? One of them is probably adopted, but it’s not like we can just ask, right? That would be just a little rude.”

“Like him running into the table and knocking over my cabin wasn’t rude…”

Roxas laughed. “So that’s what you were building.”

I growled quietly and glared at him. “What the hell did you think I was building? The Tahj Mahal or something? I mean God…”

I let my sentence trail off and my eyes roamed back across the cafeteria to where Riku and Axel sat in conversation. Axel was gesturing wildly about something while Riku just shook his head. I swear I saw Riku’s eyes flick over to me in the briefest of gestures—felt my muscles stiffen like I had been shocked—but I can’t be sure. All I knew was that I hated them both. But I hated Riku and his pretty hair more.

“Do you know Riku? You looked like you recognized him at first,” Roxas asked.

I shrugged. “He just looks like someone I used to know,” I muttered. “But I was wrong. It’s not him. They’re completely different people.”

Roxas sighed and nodded and we fell into silence. I blinked and checked the clock that hung between the en-trances to the two separate lunch lines. Five minutes were left to go and there was still a line of people who were waiting to eat. I felt sorry for their poor souls, though eating nothing was probably better than stomaching the nasty dough and cheese concoction the school considered pizza.

Just then, I noticed that something was missing. I could have smacked myself for not noticing the absence of the annoyance sooner.

“Where’s Naminé? Did she skip lunch today or something?”

Roxas shrugged. “She left during English. Said something about not feeling well or something.” He shrugged again. “I’ll call her later tonight. She’s probably just having female problems or something like that.”

I snorted and shook my head. “Yeah…hopefully…”

I set to the task of picking up the scattered fries, munching on a few here and there as I gathered them. The bell signaling the end of lunch rang soon after I was finished. Roxas and I gathered our trays and pushed and shoved our ways to the trash cans to dump them off. We then managed to squeeze out of the crowd and push through the double doors to the lobby without a scratch.

The hallways were crowded with people rushing to their lockers to get their books and to their fourth hour class before the second bell rang and they would be late. I didn’t care, and neither did Roxas. We took our sweet time getting to our lockers and gathering our books, and didn’t spend any time worrying about being late on our walk to class. The bell rang while we were still in the hall, but we didn’t run. It didn’t matter.

We slipped into our fourth hour AP chemistry class five minutes late, but the teacher wasn’t even there yet. I groaned as I noticed the lab stations around the room were set up with beakers, flasks and test tubes. I had forgotten that we were going to be doing a lab. I hated labs. I understood the mathematical work we had to do in class, but when it came to labs I always drew a blank. That’s where I relied on Roxas as the brains. And thankfully he seemed to have plenty to go around.

Roxas elbowed me in the side and directed my attention toward our seats with a nod of his head. My eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw Riku and Axel sitting in the back row of the class, in the seats right beside where Roxas and I sat. And, of course, Riku had to be in the seat next to mine. And, of course again, our lab partners were always broken into rows, which meant that Riku and Axel would be joining Roxas and me in our magical chemistry experience for the day…and every day that followed for the rest of the school year.

I wanted to beat my head against a wall.

Instead, I obeyed Roxas’ nudge in my back and led the way to our seats, doing my best to ignore Riku as I settled down into my seat. Even after I was sitting, I kept my eyes locked on the board and refused to talk to Roxas, which annoyed the blonde quite a bit. My day hadn’t really been that great to begin with, but now it was officially dead.

The teacher waltzed into the room five minutes later with a Diet Coke in his hand and a smile on his face. I couldn’t help but to glare at him. Bastard. Not really, though. My AP chemistry teacher was one of three teachers that I actually liked out of the seven I had daily. He was lenient and had a dry sense of humor. He also liked to play video games and didn’t care about who knew it. That was a total plus in my book.

“’Afternoon, guys,” he said as he settled into his chair in the front of the class. “For those of you who didn’t re-member because you didn’t do your lab write-up, you have a lab to do today. All the chemicals are in the usual places. I’ve already set out the materials you’ll need.”

Everyone started to get up from their seats so they could start their work. Roxas and I froze when he called our names. “Sora, Roxas…you’ll be working with Riku and Axel. Be nice.” He looked at me in particular. “Now go… And don’t forget to wear your goggles.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my lab book and notebook from my desk before trudging over to our lab station, Roxas following me closely behind. I was thoroughly annoyed. No. I was beyond annoyed. This was bullshit! It was like the gods were rebelling against me for something I didn’t do. What could I have possibly done to deserve this?

“Let’s get this over with,” Roxas muttered and flipped his lab book open to the page with the instructions for what we were supposed to do.

Someone in the vicinity of Riku and Axel chuckled, and Roxas glared at them, his eyes like ice.

“You two could do something useful instead of acting like complete assholes,” he spat.

“Watch your language, Roxas!” the teacher muttered.

Axel chuckled and smirked at the blonde. I saw something flash behind Roxas’ eyes, but it was covered up with hatred too quickly for me to name it.

“Come on, Sora. I’ll get the chemicals if you clean the flasks out.” Roxas grabbed a couple of beakers and a pair of goggles and headed toward the station laden with chemicals.

I checked the book and grabbed the three Erlenmeyer flasks we would be needing so I could clean them out. The water from the faucet was ice cold, but the soap smelled good, if that means anything. I swirled the water around in the flasks until I was sure they were clean. Then, I dumped the water and filled them with distilled water to rinse the soap and any other impurities out.

“You know your stuff…”

I growled under my breath at the sound of that damned voice. There was a quiet laugh and a hot gust of air brushed past my ear. I jumped and dropped the flask I had been holding in my hand. It shattered across the table.

“Sora!” the teacher shouted. “Watch what you’re doing!”

“Sorry,” I muttered under my breath and glared at Riku.

He smiled at me and shrugged. “Having some problems? You should let me handle that before you break anything else.”

“Fuck you!” I growled.

“Sora…” the teacher warned.

I turned on my heel and stormed out of the classroom, ignoring Roxas’ pleas for me to stay. I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t work with someone who pissed me off so badly. But that wasn’t the only reason. There was something about him that made my knees weak and my breathing difficult. It could have been his resemblance to the angel in my dreams, but I couldn’t be too sure. He was more like the angel from my nightmares than anything else.

Riku and Axel… They were just too cool. The way they carried themselves and how they looked down upon others caused them to radiate a sort of authority, and everyone else seemed to listen. They wouldn’t be so freakin’ pompous of they didn’t listen to them.

But that wasn’t it either. It wasn’t because Riku was cool or the fact that he looked like my dream angel. No… It was something completely different, and somewhere deep down inside, I knew what it was, but something else in me kept it hidden.

‘Fuck you, Riku. Fuck you and your pretty silver hair and pale turquoise eyes.’ I stormed into the bathroom and kicked the nearest wall. ‘Fuck you and…’ I growled loudly. ‘I’ll never forgive you for what you did to me!’

I slid down the wall and buried my head in my hands. For some reason, I was crying. Painful sobs were ripped from my chest as I slid sideways down the wall to lie on the floor, my cheek pressing against the cold linoleum.

“Sora!”

Quick footsteps tapped across the floor and I was lifted into someone’s arms. I opened my eyes to see Roxas above me, a concerned look on his face.

“Sora…are you okay? You don’t remember, do you?”

I choked on a sob when I tried to speak so I just shook my head. No, I didn’t remember. I didn’t know anything either, and it was driving me insane. Why was I filled with so much hatred when I looked at Riku? And why did he make me melt inside at the same time? It was completely illogical. It didn’t make any fucking sense! I didn’t understand!

Roxas made a quiet “sh”ing noise and ran a gentle hand through my hair while I continued my crying. I must have fallen asleep sometime after that because the next thing I met was the face of my angel. He was smiling, but his eyes were cold.

My dream-self sighed. “Riku…”

TBC…
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A/N: Hurrah…so this is my second attempt at writing “Awakening.” My first attempt was up to eight chapters before I realized that I wanted the first five or six chapters to be different than how they had turned out. So yeah…I started over… Yay!…

Anywhozits…review please and tell me what you think because I’ve put a lot of work into this story and I want to know how you all like it. It would be greatly appreciated…

::hugs you all:: Ja mata ne! ‘Til next chapter, adieu…