Payment in Blood

Chapter One: A Day in the Lives

“I remember a time
My frail, virgin mind
Watched the crimson sunrise
Imagined what it might find
Life was filled with wonder
I felt the warm wind blow
I must explore the boundaries
Transcend the depth of winter's snow
Innocence caressing me
I never felt so young before
There was so much life in me
Still I longed to search for more
But those days are gone now
Changed like a leaf on a tree
Blown away forever”
--Dream Theater – A Change of Seasons (part I)

The professor's voice droned on and on as he gave his lecture to the med students that had come under his wing only two weeks ago. Adrian struggled to keep his mind from wandering away from the subject matter. His white medical cadet uniform's cheap polyester fabric irritated his skin, and the central heating seemed to be putting up a losing battle against the cold. Cold was a constant companion on Orososh. Average surface temperature was -2 degrees Celsius, and in many places it snowed even in summer. The planet was a place hostile to human and Mobian life, barren and chilly, its inhabitants spending most of their lives indoors. They had shipped him and the rest of the cadets here for exactly that reason—it was a hostile place, perfect for hardening youths into soldiers.

He shivered somewhat as he jotted down notes in shorthand, forcing himself not to yawn. Eventually he felt his mind start to slip from both the ennui and his lack of sleep.

“Spencer! Pay attention!” the professor barked.

“Y-yes sir,” said Adrian as his eyes snapped open and he started scrawling notes again. He eagerly awaited the break in between periods where he could go to the vending machine and buy a Red Bull. Maybe three of them, the way he was feeling. He briefly glanced out the window. The sky was still dark, as the sun was not due to rise until around 9:30. The orange light of sodium floodlights illuminated the stark, barren snowy ground. It was such a far cry from the searing desert of Liberty Gorge on Mobius or the hot, humid hill country of the town in Alabama where he had spent his childhood being raised by humans.

Could he really take three years of this? Did he really have a choice? He had sold most of his possessions and essentially banked his future on the path he had now chosen. He would follow it through even if it killed him.

--

Riptos opened his eyes, the sun's rays streaming through the window. He would have to wait for Elena to come into the room and get his wheelchair from across the room before he could get out of bed. Fortunately, she was never long in coming. Within moments Elena had come into the room. “Good morning,” said Riptos.

“Good morning, honey,” said Elena. “Did you sleep well?”

“I guess you could say that,” said Riptos as Elena removed his bedpan and checked him over to make sure he didn't have any bedsores. Pressure sores were very dangerous for someone with paralysis, especially since Riptos couldn't feel them if they developed below his waist. She brought the wheelchair over and placed him in it. He was not particularly difficult to move, as a Mobian had similar strength to a human but only weighed half as much, or less. Riptos probably only weighed around 30 kilos now that he had lost much of the muscle mass he had when he was healthy. She could only imagine what it must be like for human caregivers with 80-kilo charges.

Riptos had become used to being dependent over the last few months. He really had no choice. He just had to accept his new lot in life, as hard as it was. He remembered what it was like to be a provider, someone who was always there for others. He made a difference in the lives of his family, his friends, and the people under his command in the navy. Command. He remembered holding the lives of others in his hands, directing them to the best of his ability. He no longer even had command over his own life, his own emotions, his own being. He was a powerless shell of his former self. He looked into the mirror as he was wheeled into the bathroom to be cleaned up and scarcely remembered what he looked like as a father figure, a hale, strong man that people looked up to.

He felt Elena bring an arm under his back and lift him up, placing him in the bathtub. He had always enjoyed a hot bath, but that was when his whole body could feel the water, and he actually had privacy. All the things in life that had once made him happy now seemed to have lost their luster. His passions had died, his spirits had sunk, and now the only flame still burning in his soul was his love for Elena and his children. “Elena?” he said.

“Yes.”

“I love you. I just wanted to say that, right now. You and the kids are all I care about anymore. Nothing else even matters. I feel so empty now.”

“I can't imagine what you must be going through, Rippy. But I'm there for you and the children are there for you, and I wouldn't leave you for anything. We both sacrificed so much in our youth to be together.”

“Speaking of sacrifice.” said Riptos as he looked down at his paralyzed legs. “At least you're alive, so it was not in vain.”

“And I'm happy that you're still alive,” said Elena. “I was so afraid for you when I heard what happened.”

Riptos closed his eyes as Elena began to scrub his fur, thinking about earlier, happier times. He would never walk again. At 42 years old, Riptos felt like he was eighty.

--

Adrian set his book bag down on the table as he entered his dorm room. After two hours of classes and one of field training, he had an hour to rest until the next round of training. “Hey, Bianca,” he said as he sat down on the couch next to her.

“Hello, Adrian,” she said. “You look a little tired.”

“PT is awful,” said Adrian as he took off his shoes and socks. “I'm aching everywhere after the two-mile run. And in an hour I have to go through more of it.”

“Why don't you take a nap then?”

“I can't,” said Adrian with a sigh. “You have to go to class in thirty minutes, leaving me alone, and I'm afraid I might sleep through the alarm.”

“Well, suit yourself, I guess. At the very least you could lie down and relax.”

“Right here?”

“Why not?”

“Eh, I just don't feel like it.”

“Suit yourself.”

Adrian picked up a book from the end table and began to flip through it. He knew Bianca liked him, but he wasn't ready. He often took a while to warm up to people, especially in...that way. He ran a hand through his spines, trying to clear his mind. Right now, he just didn't feel close enough to her to do something like laying his head in her lap.

The world around Adrian seemed to drift away as he delved into the pages of his book, losing himself in reading. It seemed like only a few minutes before he looked up and noticed Bianca was gone and there were only six minutes left before he had to report for the next PT session.

“Crap,” he muttered as he put down the book and reached for his shoes.

--

Rex Christensen sat on the couch in his house on Mobius, his wife Connie curled up with him, resting her head against his chest. After the battle of Mobius, Rex and his fighter squadron had been given six months of vacation as what was left of Mobius' military was reorganized for peacetime. In the meantine, Connie had given birth to a daughter, whom they had named Angela. Unfortunately, Angela had been more of a bundle of misery than a bundle of joy, as she was afflicted with colic as cried constantly, destroying any possibility of Rex or Connie having a decent night's sleep. Most of the time she was awake she would make noise, screaming, bawling, and driving Rex half insane. For the first time ever, he couldn't wait to go back to the Navy base on Orbital Station 12.

For the moment, at least, Angela was quiet, and Rex could enjoy some peace and quiet with Connie. Life was so much different from how it was before their daughter was born. No more freely using swear words in the house, no more sleeping in the afternoon, no more having sex on the couch. The people who said that marriage is the end of fun in one's life were wrong—it was having kids that turned exuberant young people into tired, humorless drones.

“Two months until I go back to O.S. 12 and back into the cockpit,” said Rex. “Even Deathwish's idiotic pranks are better than what I have to deal with here.”

Connie harumphed. “You always have to be so negative, don't you, Rex? I know it's a lot of work raising a baby, but she's our daughter, for Christ's sake! You should be happy about having children of your own.”

Not this again, Rex thought. Connie loved children, and the idea of having a family. Rex always sought out adventure, fun, and the adrenaline rush. These two ideals were, of course, mutually exclusive, and were the source of a lot of friction that had developed between them. Riptos had been a family man down to his bones, and when he was at work, his squadmates became family of a sort. Rex was much much less outgoing and had very little in the way of fatherly instincts. Now that he was experiencing raising a family firsthand, he could not understand why his old friend and former commander was so obsessed with family. Life with a child was just a drag.

As if sensing Rex's thoughts, Connie spoke up again. “When will you grow up? I mean really grow up? You're almost 28 years old, and you still act like you're seventeen. Are you going to be breaking the speed limit at every opportunity and going to bars when you're 65 and your spines have all gone gray? Do you really think you can do this forever?”

“Actually, Connie, yes I do.”

The white hedgehog rolled her eyes. “I love you to death, Rexy, but I just don't understand why you can't accept the fact that you're not going to be young much longer. Life is not all about booze and cars and fun.”

“I don't think life is about being alternately bored and driven insane either. Neither of us has had a good night's sleep in months. Can you honestly say that you've been enjoying life lately?”

“One day, Rex, you'll wake up and wonder why on earth you ever said these things, and why you acted like such an immature putz. I guarantee it, and it will happen just like that.” Connie snapped her fingers in emphasis.

“Sure, whatever.”

Just then, Angela started crying.

Rex sighed. “Whose turn is it now?”

“Mine,” said Connie. You attended to her last time, remember?

“Yeah, now I do.”

As Connie got up to see what the baby wanted, Rex remembered something his father had told him years ago. When you get older, you better learn to work hard and like it, because nobody in this world will give a damn what you want. Perhaps he should've paid more attention back then.

--

“Go, go, go! Faster, motherfuckers!” shouted the PT instructor as Adrian clambered up a wall on the obstacle course. “You all fucking suck! Tell me how much you fucking suck!”

“Hell yeah we fucking suck!” the cadets all shouted, in that defeated tone of voice of someone who could say nothing else.

“Tell me again!”

“Hell yeah we fucking suck!” Adrian hated Warrant Officer Ivanov, especially the way he made the cadets humiliate themselves in front of him. Sometimes he wished Ivanov could keel over and die. One day, Adrian thought, when I'm commisioned, I'll you tell me how much you fucking suck!

“Move your ass, Crow!” Ivanov bellowed as he ran alongside Adrian, easily matching the young hedgehog's pace. “Crow” was Adrian's nickname that everyone had given him. It was short for “Scarecrow”, because of Adrian's thin, small frame. He was the lightest of all the cadets and one of the shortest, and was constantly ridiculed for it. “My fucking grandma could run faster than that, and she's got a Godforsaken cane, for Jesus' sake. You suck so fucking hard, Crow, that people near you can't fucking breathe because there's no goddamn air left. Are you listening, dumbass? I said move!”

“Y-yes, sir,” said Adrian as he sped up, his undershirt soaked with sweat. He was never a very athletic person, and Ivanov seemed more than willing to beat a solid performance out of him. He remembered Rex telling him how the instructors went easier on officer candidates than recruits and didn't swear at them. What a load of bullshit.

Adrian crawled under a tangle of rubber cables. They were intended to simulate razor wire without actually being sharp, but he would be penalized for touching them (since touching actual razor wire would not be a good thing at all). This time, he had managed to make it through without bumping up against the wire, for the first time. He didn't stop to reflect on that achievement, however, as there was still more ahead. He quckly made his way through a simulated minefield, not bothering to look over and notice that Ivanov was having no trouble keeping up with him.

“Is that the fucking best you can do, Crow? Did you eat Dunkin' Donuts all your life? No, you're too skinny for that. Maybe you just ate rabbit pellets. You were raised by the humans, after all. Did they give you a nice cage?”

It took all of Adrian's composure not to glare at the warrant officer—if he did so, he probably would have been knocked out cold. Ivanov delighted in ridiculing him, debasing him, and putting him down. He had never known a bigger asshole in his life.

Finally, Adrian reached the end of the course and fell to his knees, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath.

“Well, Crow, you managed to do the course in 16 minutes, 34 seconds, which is slightly better than 'absolutely unbelievably completely fucking terrible.' You're improving. Sort of.” Smugness seemed to radiate off of the warrant officer like some awful angel's halo. Adrian knew better than to show his anger. Getting visibly angry at a warrant officer was usually viewed by him an invitation to “impromptu hand-to-hand training”, as he called it, and he always won. Adrian has never seen someone so freakishly strong before.

After taking a couple of minutes to get his strength back, Adrian went into the showers. He hated being naked in front of other people. People native to Mobius were generally less shy about it than Earth-born like him. He let the cold water run over his body, grateful for the meager heating the water received, changing it from near freezing to merely unpleasant. Everything in a military base seemed to be designed to be unpleasant, including the people.

He washed up as quickly as possible, and then put on a fresh uniform and walked out to the yard for the head count. The roll call showed that everyone was accounted for, and then Adrian took his bag and walked to his next class. How much more could he take, he wondered. Could he really get through this? Did he have a choice?

--

Riptos's ears perked up as he heard Ryudo open the door. “Hey, Dad!” said Ryudo as he put his book bag on the table near the door and took his jacket off.

“Hello, Ryudo,” said Riptos as he sat up. “How was school?”

“Oh, just the same as yesterday. We had a geography test today, but that was all that really happened.”

Well, at least he has one notable thing to tell me about today, Riptos thought to himself. That's more than I can come up with for my life nowadays. He put an arm around Ryudo as the boy sat down beside him. He sometimes envied his son, and how Ryudo could just get up and walk wherever he wanted to go. No wheelchairs, no back braces, no assistance.

“Dad?” said Ryudo as he looked up at Riptos.

“Yes?”

“Are you all right?”

“I'm fine. I'm just having one of those moods. You know how it is.”

Ryudo drew closer to Riptos and nuzzled him gently.”I love you,” he said.

“And I love you too,” said Riptos, scratching behind his son's ears. As difficult as it was to cope with losing the use of his legs, he didn't regret his suicide run on the Earth flagship during the Battle of Mobius that had resulted in his back being broken. If he hadn't done it, he wouldn't have had a son sitting beside him on the couch. He would have died for his family.

A comfortable silence passed between father and son for several minutes as they sat in quiet reflection. Eventually Ryudo stood up. “Well, I better go do my homework,” he said. “Mom will throw a fit if I don't start soon.”

Riptos nodded and then used his arms to drag himself into a lying-down position across the couch, and then closed his eyes. As long as he had his family, he could make it through. As he had been the rock of his family for twenty years, now they supported him. For all the sorrow he felt, there was still hope for the future.

--

Adrian looked upon the pile of homework he had to do and felt like despairing. He thought it had been bad when he was in high school, but this was an entirely different level. The sun had already set in the early afternoon and the short days were wreaking havoc on his sleep drives. Two empty coffee cups were on his desk already, and many more would surely pile up in the coming hours.

“Guess they really laid the homework on for you today, huh?” said Bianca as she came up from behind him.

“Yeah,” said Adrian with a sigh. “This is just insane.”

“Well, I didn't get a whole lot today, so maybe I can help you later on.”

“Sure, that would be great, thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Adrian didn't know how long the work had taken him, but by the end he was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open. He staggered over towards his bed and collapsed upon it, still with all his clothes on. He kicked off his shoes and closed his eyes, knowing that the next day he would have to do it all again.

And again. And again.

Isn't life fucking great? he thought to himself.